Category: Mailbag

Evangelism, Mailbag, Salvation

The Mailbag: Saved by the “Sinner’s Prayer”?

Michelle Lesley

The Sinner’s Prayer. I repeated that many years ago. I’ve also led others in that prayer as well. It was ingrained in me so long ago that it was the thing to do. Now, I see that it is not right. I read your article about What Must I Do to Be Saved? I am really turned upside down right now, not knowing if I am truly saved! Yes, I have repented of my sins and asked for forgiveness, as part of a sinner’s prayer, because I believe in a triune God. I believe that Jesus walked this earth as fully God and fully man. I know that God is always in control of all things at all times. I believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God. I say I trust in God for all my needs, but do I really? I pray, but still worry. Please help me! I don’t want to be told, “Depart from Me, I never knew you.“

I am so sorry you’re going through such anguish about this. You’re not alone – most genuine Christians, including yours truly, have moments when they wonder, and even agonize over, whether or not they’re genuinely saved.

I think the part of my gospel presentation page that caught your attention was this paragraph under the section heading, “What are some of those false gospels?”:

If, at some point in your life you repeated the words of a “sinner’s prayer,” “accepted Jesus,” or “asked Jesus into your heart,” (even if you didn’t know what you were doing, and without true repentance and faith) you’ve been born again.

I’ve highlighted the key words and phrases we need to take a look at, because I think you may have misunderstood what I meant in this paragraph. The term “sinner’s prayer,” used in evangelical common parlance has a specific meaning. It does not mean “any sinner praying any prayer that leads to salvation”. We are all sinners. We all have to talk to God (prayer) to tell Him we repent of our sins and wish to place our faith in Christ. If all such prayers were wrong, none of us would be saved.

Typically, what evangelicals mean when we use the term “sinner’s prayer” is an altar call type of scenario following a sermon at church, a Christian camp, concert, rally, revival, etc., where someone is attempting to get attendees to “make a decision for Christ”. Often – with heartstring-tugging music in the background – whoever is leading the altar call time will say something to the effect of, “I’d like every head bowed and every eye closed. If you’re here today, and you want Jesus to save you and take you to Heaven when you die, raise your hand. … I see that hand. Thank you, sir, I see your hand. … Now, if you just raised your hand, repeat this prayer -either out loud or in your heart- to God: Lord, I admit that I’m a sinner (Lord, I admit that I’m a sinner.)…” And it goes on from there with the leader leading these people phrase by phrase through a prayer of (hopefully biblical) confession, repentance, and faith in Christ. Sometimes he’ll even say something like, “Repeating the words of this prayer won’t save you unless you really mean it in your heart.” When he’s finished he will usually say something like, “If you just prayed that prayer, you’re saved! Welcome to the family of God.”

A fairly typical altar call and sinner’s prayer.
(If you don’t have a lot of time, you can fast forward through the song. It’s around 1:17-5:39.)
(There are some biblical issues with the prayer, but there are far greater problems with the church and its pastors, and it’s not one I’d recommend.)

That’s what evangelicals mean when they say “sinner’s prayer”. The wording and order of the altar call and the prayer itself can vary greatly, from the completely biblical all the way to the blasphemously heretical, and it can be done in a corporate setting or one on one, but this is the gist of it.

But you need to understand why, in recent years (and on my gospel presentation page) there’s been pushback against this kind of scenario.

It creates false converts.

Granted, God has used this formula to create true converts as well, but the numbers of false converts (people who think they’re saved, but have never been genuinely born again) this little exercise has created are overwhelming. Why? Generally speaking1…

◇The foundational reason the sinner’s prayer scenario creates false converts is that it’s pragmatic Finneyism, an “always be closing” technique designed to seal the deal. It’s more concerned with getting people to say they’ve been saved than whether or not they actually are saved.

◇Many (not all) of the churches that use this technique are not doctrinally sound to begin with, so the “sinner’s prayer” they have people repeat is based on a false gospel. Usually, the more doctrinally sound a church or Christian organization is, the less likely it is to employ an altar call and sinner’s prayer.

◇The sinner’s prayer is often used on children. It is a standard feature of most Vacation Bible Schools, and many Sunday Schools, children’s church services, and other evangelical children’s events. Tragically, many a five year old who has raised his hand and repeated the prayer has been pronounced “saved,” and toddled through the waters of baptism, even though he had no idea what he was doing. The vast majority of young children lack the intellectual capacity to understand abstract concepts like sin, guilt, repentance, substitutionary atonement, faith, and eternity. But a 30 year old – who shows every sign of being lost as a goose in a hailstorm – will point back to that moment of ignorance when he was five, put his faith in the fact that he prayed a prayer, he walked the aisle and made a profession of faith, and he decided to be baptized (perhaps not even retaining memories of these things) and declare himself to be a Christian. And many a mother of such wayward adult children will comfort herself with this “decision” her child made. “He’s just backslidden, but he prayed the prayer, so I’m sure he’ll go to Heaven when he dies.”.

◇Even teens and adults can repeat a prayer without really understanding (possibly because they haven’t actually been told) the biblical gospel and without truly repenting of their sin. But they think they’re saved because they did something with Jesus’ name attached to it. They place their faith in the action they took – that they prayed a prayer – rather than placing their faith in the One they were (ostensibly) praying to. Their faith is in what they did rather than what Jesus did for them.

And how do we know the sinner’s prayer creates so many false converts? We see it when those false converts get genuinely saved and tell us, “I said a sinner’s prayer, but I wasn’t saved,” and we see it in the rotten fruit of the lives of professing Christians who parroted some sort of sinner’s prayer and went right on sinning, or eventually turned back to living in sin.

That’s where the rubber meets the road of whether or not you were genuinely saved by praying a “sinner’s prayer”. We all continue to sin. None of us will ever be perfect, but look back over the years since you prayed that prayer. Have you grown in your love for Christ? In your knowledge of and obedience to His Word? In your love for, and service to the church? Are you increasingly exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit? Do you pursue holiness? Wisdom? Are you sharing the gospel with the lost and discipling the saved? Are you on a general trajectory of becoming more like Christ because you love Him and you want to be like Him?

These are the sorts of things you can look to for reassurance that you’re saved, not that you once repeated a prayer, despite the fact that you now live like a rank pagan. Going back to the words in red in the quote above, what I was trying to say2 is, nobody gets saved by merely rattling off the words of a prayer. You must understand the biblical gospel, repent of your sin, and place your faith in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection to save you.

Just a couple of lines down on that same page, I said this…

The Bible says we should examine ourselves to discover whether or not we are truly in the faith. Take some quiet, undistracted time alone with God today and search your heart. What do you really believe? Is it the true gospel of Scripture, or something else? Don’t put it off, it’s too important. If you need some help, try working through my study Am I Really Saved? A 1 John Check-Up.

The book of 1 John is an incredibly helpful measuring stick to assist you in determining whether or not you’re genuinely saved. I would encourage you (and anyone else reading this who struggles with assurance) to either study 1 John in depth on your own, making note of what is and isn’t true of genuine Christians, or use my study linked above to help you work through this amazing epistle.

Additionally, when working through an issue like this, it’s always best to set up an appointment with your (doctrinally sound) pastor for counsel.

1Please understand that there are churches all over the spectrum of sound/false doctrine who use this method, so these points may or may not apply to every church that uses altar calls and/or a repeated “sinner’s prayer”.

2After considering this sister’s confusion and re-reading the paragraph multiple times, I decided I needed to clarify the wording a bit.

Additional Resources:

A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing: How Charles Finney’s Theology Ravaged the Evangelical Movement by Phil Johnson

Altar Calls and the Sinner’s Prayer? | WWUTT | June 10, 2015

Should we lead someone in “the sinner’s prayer”? | Wretched | November 7, 2014

Altar Calls: Emotional Manipulation or True Conversion? (with Costi Hinn and Steve Lawson) | For the Gospel | October 6, 2023

You’ll Stop Using the Sinner’s Prayer After Watching This | Living Waters | August 16, 2021

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Catholic book, Baptist church… Sharing Michelle’s blog with husband/church… Is posting “preaching”?… Husband wants to stay at unbiblical church)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

I have a question on a Carol Mader. Our church is a Baptist church and we are using a book called ‘kids travel guide to the fruit of the spirit”. When I check Carol out I find she’s Catholic? What are your thoughts?

I’m not familiar with Carol, but no Christian should be attending a church of any denomination where the pastor is OK with using Bible study, discipleship, etc. materials written by Catholics. Catholicism is not Christianity any more than Mormonism is.

The first thing I would encourage you to do is to make absolutely certain that Carol is, indeed, Catholic. I Googled her name, and several different Carol Maders popped up, including at least one who’s Catholic (also one who’s a retired Episcopal priest). The results also included the Amazon page selling books similar to the one you mentioned, by someone named Carol Mader. However, I was unable to verify that the Carol Mader who wrote those books is the same person as one of the Catholic Carol Maders.

But perhaps you have a more reliable source that unequivocally states that the Carol Mader who wrote the book is Catholic. In that case, I would encourage you to go to your pastor and kindly and gently ask him if he knows that this woman is Catholic. If he knows and doesn’t care, or tries to make you feel like you’re the bad guy for bringing this up, it’s time to find a new church. If he seems surprised and apologetic, immediately stops the use of the book, this was a one time goof on his part, and everything else about your church is doctrinally sound, forgive him and move on. Here are some resources that may help:

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?

Roman Catholicism: Mass Confusion at A Word Fitly Spoken

I am greatly appreciative of everything you have written [on your blog] and I wish I could read it all at once. There is so much good information. I desperately want to share this with my husband and church, but how can I do that as you are a woman, and then you would be teaching men? Thank you so much.

You’re very welcome. Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad my materials have been helpful, and it is my pleasure to serve you -and all of my readers- in Christ.

Let’s clear up a few things it sounds like you might be confused about or conflating, and I’ll share with you some resources that will give you fully-orbed answers to the several different questions implicit in your comment:

◇ Scripture’s prohibition against women instructing men in the Scriptures has a very specific context: in the gathering of the church body. There are many differences between the home and the church. They are two separate entities God has established in different ways for different purposes, and we need to keep them separate in our minds, especially when we study Scripture.

It might help to think about some of the obvious differences. Do you take up an offering or observe the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper in your home? Do you submit to your pastor in the same way you submit to your husband? Do you make sure everyone in your church is fed three meals a day and do all their laundry for them? These things may sound silly, but they help to illustrate that the church and the home run differently and have different purposes. Having a private conversation with your husband at home about something biblical you’ve learned (which is fine, biblically) is not the same thing as preaching it to your church from the pulpit (which is not).

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Rock Your Role FAQs

◇ Whether you verbally explain what you’ve learned to your husband, hand him one of my articles to read, or a random man stumbles across my blog and reads it, I am not violating Scripture’s prohibition against teaching men (and neither are you).

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?

◇ As far as sharing with your church or others, there’s certainly no problem with sharing my articles on social media, emailing them to a friend, etc. There’s also no reason you can’t share them with other women at church. However, if you’re going to be sharing them with more than a few other women, or reading one of my articles in a women’s class you teach, etc., run it by your pastor first, as a courtesy. He not only deserves to know what’s going on in his flock, he’s also responsible to God for what’s being taught in His church.

Rock Your Role Series

I answered this same basic question (with a few slight differences) to another reader a few years ago here (second question) in case it’s of interest.

A related question…

I have been posting Scripture on my Facebook page every morning for the last six months. My friends are both male and female. Sometimes to make a verse more understandable I will explain who is speaking or who is being addressed. I’m starting to feel uncomfortable when I do this because I’m afraid I’m preaching. I check my study Bible before including clarifications to make sure I’m not misleading anyone. My gut is telling me I need to just state the verse. I pray about it and am wondering if it’s the Spirit convicting me. Thank you for your help.

It’s very important that Christians listen to our consciences so we don’t sin against them. If your conscience bothers you about posting the explanations, by all means, don’t do it. For you to do so would mean that you believe posting the explanations is sin, but you’re going to do it anyway. Don’t do that.

But while it’s important that we not sin against our consciences, it’s equally important that our consciences are informed by rightly handled, in context Scripture. And, in a nutshell, your conscience is a bit misinformed.

Though I wouldn’t suggest going to the extreme of habitually posting lengthy diatribes aimed specifically at men, railing at them about how they can be more godly men, pastors, husbands, or fathers, there’s nothing unbiblical about posting a verse with a few clarifying remarks to a general audience. Biblically, that is not preaching.

I would encourage you to prayerfully consider the materials I’ve provided the previous reader as well as this one Sisters Are Part of the Family of God, Too!. If, after reading, praying, and studying the pertinent Scriptures you still think it’s better not to post the explanations, that’s OK. Don’t. If your conscience is clear, and you decide it’s OK to post them, then you can do that. A few other options you might consider that your conscience may find acceptable:

  • Post enough of the surrounding verses to make the context clear so you don’t have to explain.
  • Use brackets. This is a perfectly acceptable grammatical device, especially in an informal setting like social media. For example: if the verse begins, “And he said to them…” and it’s clear from the surrounding context that it’s Jesus speaking to the disciples, then bracket that part of the verse with the antecedents replacing the pronouns for clarity: “And [Jesus] said to [the disciples]…”.
  • Use a direct quote from your study Bible or a reliable commentary instead of using your own words. Remember to use quotation marks, and cite your source.
  • When you post the verse, include a link to a (doctrinally sound) sermon, article, Bible study video / podcast, etc. that explains the verse and its context.

I have found myself in the situation of looking for another church because of women being allowing to preach occasionally in our current church, but my husband wants to remain. Should I come under his authority and remain also or do you think it’s ok to follow my own convictions? I feel somewhat conflicted.

I’m so sorry. I know that must be really difficult. Sadly, this is an issue wives face more often than you’d think. I hope these articles, though they may not match your situation exactly, will be of help to you.

The Mailbag: My husband wants to stay at an unbiblical church.

The Mailbag: A Lost Husband, a Saved Wife, and an Apostate Church

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Abuse, Homosexuality, Mailbag, Sin

The Mailbag: Perversion-palooza Potpourri

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

It’s June, and you know what that means: perversion-palooza [aka “Pride”] month. What does the Bible say about these and other issues of sexual immorality? How should your church be addressing them? What can you say if a loved one lives in this kind of sin or has been victimized by it? Here’s a roundup of Mailbag articles and other resources that may help.

Can you give me a basic overview of what the Bible says about sexuality and sexual immorality?

Basic Training: Homosexuality, Gender Identity, and Other Sexual Immorality

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Any resources for offering a biblical apologetic against homosexuality?

Movie Tuesday: Audacity

Is it possible to be a “gay Christian”?

The Hole in World Vision’s Gospel

An Apology, A Request for Forgiveness, and Some Clarifications

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Does God love homosexuals?

God Loves Gays

How can Christians best show homosexuals the love of Christ?

Cancer: A Love Story

Can you give me some general principles and Scriptures for relating to friends and loved ones who live a lifestyle of sexual immorality?

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

How does the legalization of same sex “marriage” impact homosexuals and Christians?

SCOTUS to Rule on Same Sex “Marriage”: A Call to Prayer and Godly Response

Should Christians attend a homosexual (or “trans”) “wedding” as a guest?

The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend A Homosexual Wedding?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Talk Back: Alistair Begg at A Word Fitly Spoken

Should a Christian employee work at a homosexual “wedding”?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Spanking, Women teaching men, Working a homosexual “wedding”…) (section 4)

How can Christians navigate Gay Pride Month?

Glad you Asked: Pride, Parenting, Evangelism and Denying Self at A Word Fitly Spoken

A friend or relative wants me to use an opposite sex name and pronouns for him (or her). Is that biblical?

The Mailbag: What’s In a Name?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

I suspect someone has surgically altered her body to appear to be the opposite sex.

The Mailbag: Lady looks like a dude?

Should a man who presents himself as a woman be allowed to attend women’s events at church?

The Mailbag: Guess who’s coming to (the women’s ministry) dinner?

How should we handle church roles when it comes to medically intersex people?

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

Can you point me to some biblical resources on pornography?

Biblical Resources on Pornography

My husband wants me to watch porn with him to spice up our sex life. Should I?

The Mailbag: Should Christian Couples Watch Pornography Together?

I’m including these resources on sexual abuse in this article because the abuse itself is a perversion of biblical sexuality and because the sexual sins addressed above can lead to abuse. If you were victimized by an abuser, you are not guilty of perversion, an act of perversion was committed against you.

What are some practical ways to prevent sexual abuse at my church?

Preventative Measures: 6 Steps SBC Churches Can Take to Prevent Sexual Abuse (Most of this applies to any church)

I know a woman who is a victim of sexual abuse. How can I help her biblically? (If the victim is a man, much of this still applies, but refer him to your pastor so a godly man can help and disciple him.)

From Victimhood to Victory: Biblically Helping Abused Women Heal

Band-Aids vs. Chemotherapy: Why Suffering Women are Drawn to False Doctrine and 7 Things We Can do to Help.

4 Ways Christian Advocates for Victims of Abuse Need to Get Biblically Back on Track

My husband and I are having sexual problems that stem from the fact that I was molested as a child. What should I do?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Sexual abuse, Feminism, Serpent seed doctrine…) 3rd section

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 24, 2020

 

I’m curious to know if someone who is medically intersex should be considered a man or a woman for the purposes of appropriate church roles. I’m not sure if the Bible addresses that or not. 

According to the National Institutes of Health, “Intersex is a group of conditions where there is a discrepancy between the external genitals and the internal genitals (the testes and ovaries). The older term for this condition is hermaphroditism.” In other words, a person could have XX chromosomes (genetically female) and ovaries, yet the external genitalia appears male (i.e. penis instead of vagina), or vice versa for a genetic (XY) male. There are also some other genetic anomalies that result in intersex, and a wide variety of genital anomalies not related to sexual identity that fall under the category of “intersex”.

(And just so we’re all on the same page here, “medically intersex” refers to a congenital abnormality– a birth defect. It does not mean, nor does the reader who sent in this question mean, a physically/genetically normal man or woman who has decided to mutilate his/her body with surgery to appear to be the opposite sex. That’s different. Also, the reader who sent in the question is not asking whether or not a medically intersex person may be saved or may be a church member. She is only asking how the biblical roles for men and women in the church {i.e. preaching/teaching/leadership roles} apply to a medically intersex person, so that is the question I’m answering.)

But because “intersex” has become something of a catch-all term for a so many genetic defects related to chromosomal abnormalities and/or internal reproductive organ abnormalities and/or external genital abnormalities, it’s nearly impossible to answer a question like, “How common is medical intersex?”. But even the (now defunct) Intersex Society of North America (an advocacy group, which we can probably safely surmise would be fairly liberal/over-generalized in its statistics) estimates that only .05-.07% (half of 1%) of babies at birth have genitalia so ambiguous that they require a consult by a sex specialist, and far fewer end up needing surgery to correct these anomalies.

Now, keep in mind that, as I said, that .05-.07% is the total estimate for a wide variety of reproductive and genital anomalies, many of which do not affect sexual identity. So the number of people who are genetically female with male genitals or genetically male with female genitals (what the reader who sent in this question is referring to) is only a fraction of that .05-.07%. In other words, it’s an extremely rare condition.

So, take that very tiny number of people and add on the qualifiers for this reader’s question. The medically intersex person has to get through the narrow gate of salvation (because unsaved people don’t have “church roles,” as they’re not part of the church, and, naturally, shouldn’t be serving or leading in the church in any way whatsoever). Now your numbers have gone from tiny to tinier. Now, whittle those numbers down even further: the person not only has to be saved, but has to have a doctrinally sound understanding of the roles of men and women in the church, the person has to desire a position of leadership or servanthood in which the biblical role of men/women is an issue (for most positions in the church, it generally isn’t), the person has to be otherwise biblically qualified to serve in that role (e.g. above reproach, sober-minded, etc.), and the person has to find and become a member of a doctrinally sound church that actually follows the Bible’s teachings on the roles of men and women in the church.

Now your numbers have gone from “tinier” to, “Get me the strongest electron microscope in existence.” Statistically speaking, this is never going to be an issue in any doctrinally sound church.

But it’s interesting to think about.

There isn’t a Bible passage that describes medical intersex and whether or not a person so afflicted may or may not serve in the role of pastor, elder, deacon, preaching to/teaching Scripture to men, holding authority over men, or older women teaching the younger women (the church roles assigned to either only males or only females).

The closest the Bible comes to addressing this issue is in Leviticus 21:16-23, which says that a man with crushed testicles may not serve as a priest in the temple. However, this passage does not apply to the question at hand for a couple of reasons, which are abundantly clear if you read the passage in context.

First of all, “crushed testicles” is only one condition in a litany of other physical abnormalities which disqualified a man (only men could serve as priests) from the priesthood. And the reason for this had nothing to do with sexual identity. The reason men with physical “blemishes” couldn’t be priests was basically the same reason that when you brought an animal for sacrifice, it had to be perfect, free of any physical defect: It symbolically pointed ahead to the perfection of Christ. Christ was not only the unblemished Lamb of God, our perfect sacrifice, He is also our perfect high priest. That’s why both the Old Testament sacrifice and priest had to be “without blemish”.

Second, although there are some similarities between the Old Testament temple and the New Testament church, they are two distinctly different entities with different qualifications for leadership. This is easy to see if you compare some of the requirements for the Old Testament priesthood with the requirements for pastors of New Testament churches. Other than the fact that the pastorate is restricted to men, there are no physical requirements for pastors. Certainly we would not say that a man who is blind or has psoriasis is disqualified from being a pastor strictly on the basis of those conditions, would we? Yet these men (and others with all types of physical “blemishes,” including crushed testicles) were disqualified from the priesthood.

So, having no direct biblical passages to go on, here are a few thoughts…

  • Such a unique situation that isn’t directly addressed by Scripture will need to dealt with on a case by case basis by the pastor, elders, and church leadership.
  • The medically intersex person who meets all of the qualifiers I outlined above should set up an appointment with his/her pastor, explain the medical condition, explain whether he/she has been living as a man or a woman, and why, and get pastoral counsel on which positions of service or leadership would be appropriate.
  • I would think it would be helpful for the medically intersex person’s current pastor to contact his/her former pastor for insight on how the situation was handled at his/her previous church. The current pastor might end up making different decisions than the previous pastor, but getting the benefit of the previous pastor’s experience would seem to me to be beneficial.
  • The medically intersex person seeking to serve the church has probably already established an identity (dressing, behaving, considers him/herself as, presenting as) as a man or a woman in his/her daily life. Taking that into consideration and weighing all of the other factors and details, church leadership may prayerfully consider it appropriate to let this person function in the church as the sex he/she identifies as. In other words, if the person has established an identity as a woman (she considers herself a woman, dresses/acts like a woman, her family, friends, and others consider her to be a woman, etc.), it could be an appropriate decision to allow her to function as a woman in the church, following the Bible’s role for women in the church.
  • Another appropriate decision the church leadership might make would be to err on the side of caution and help the medically intersex person find a place of service that is not impacted by the Bible’s parameters for men and women in the church. Here and here are a couple of good jumping off points.

If the medically intersex person and his/her church leadership prayerfully come together seeking wisdom from the Lord, and trying to discern what is pleasing to the Lord, there is one biblical certainty about this situation: they can trust Him to direct their path.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Female Bible authors?… Handling “OMG” at work… Alone in my discernment)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Did any women write any part of the Bible?

Nope. No women authored any of the books of the Bible. The main reason for this is God’s established pattern of male headship and leadership. (Additionally, women were largely illiterate at that time in history.) Because of this, we have no reason to believe that any parts or passages of any books of the Bible were written by women.

We have passages like the song of Miriam, the song of Deborah and Barak, and the Magnificat, but these wouldn’t be considered “writing part of the Bible”. They were almost certainly spontaneous songs, which the male writers of those books recorded in Scripture.

Who were the authors of the books of the Bible? at GotQuestions

If you are at work and others are constantly saying “OH MY G-D!” would you say something? It hurts my heart! It has become such a common thing, making God so disrespected.

I get it. I physically wince every time I hear it, myself.

Since this is your work environment rather than your church or a situation with family or friends, I would suggest getting some counsel from your pastor or a spiritually mature friend about how to handle this situation. It really depends on the dynamics of your workplace and your relationship with your boss and co-workers.

If you’re good friends with the people who are doing this, you may be able to take them aside and gently request that they try not to say this around you. If you have a more distant relationship with them, they’re probably not going to take too kindly to your request, and it could strain the already tenuous relationship you have with them, creating a work environment that’s even more uncomfortable for you.

Bear in mind that the most likely reason they’re saying this is because they’re lost. Lost people do lost people things. They’re not concerned about obeying Scripture, and they’ll be offended and resentful if you ask them to. If, after talking to your pastor about the situation, you feel it would be best not to speak up, perhaps you could use every occasion when they say this as a reminder to say a quick prayer for them and their salvation.

Listen to Cussing, Profanity, and OMG at A Word Fitly Spoken

Since I have been following your ministry, I have been trying to be a Berean in what I hear, read, and watch. But the more discerning I become, the more alone I feel I am!! Friends that I have for years thought were solid in their faith, love The Message, Jesus Calling, The Chosen, go to Bible Studies by either false teachers or at the very least not recommended teachers, and dismiss me when I give them resources that speak the truth about these things!! What in the world???!!

My question is, could I be too far discerning? Should I be more open to hear what they have to say? Should I too be willing to read The Message or watch The Chosen? I am really feeling alone and like I’m missing something! What’s wrong with me Michelle?!!

Thank you for listening to me. I wonder if others have felt this way too.

Nothing is wrong with you, honey. Everything is right with you. You’re growing in maturity in Christ, in discernment, and in your knowledge of the Word. And one of the “growing pains” we go through as Christ sanctifies us is the realization that when Jesus said…

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Matthew 7:13-14

…He meant it. And He meant it far more than we realized the first time we read that passage. Few find the narrow gate. Some of the people we thought – due to our own lack of spiritual maturity – were Christians, suddenly aren’t. We just didn’t know it before.

This is, of course, not to say that anyone who’s ever watched an episode of The Chosen is on the express train to Hell, or that thinking Jesus Calling is awesome right now necessarily means you’re a false convert.

Remember, every genuinely born again person is being sanctified by Christ. And just because you’re not at my level of discernment yet doesn’t mean you’re not saved. And just because I’m not at your level of patience yet doesn’t mean I’m not saved. None of us are at Christ’s level of any of those things, and we won’t be, this side of Glory. God is working on each of us, at His own pace, in the area(s) He sees fit, at this moment in time.

Rather than looking at the trees of someone’s life, it can be more helpful to zoom out and look at the forest. Is she on a general trajectory of growing more Christlike, more holy, more obedient, more understanding of the Word? Or, over a substantial period of time, is she on a general trajectory of increasing disobedience to Scripture, decreasing faithfulness to the church, a worldview that’s getting less and less biblical? It’s a more accurate barometer of someone’s overall spiritual state than whether she’s spent the last couple of weeks going gaga over The Message.

Could you be too discerning? No. That’s like asking if you could be too loving, too peaceful, too gifted at teaching, or too gifted at serving.

Should you be more open to hear what they have to say? No. That is, if by “open” you mean “Should I consider doing or believing things that conflict with Scripture?”. Of course not.

But being a good listener when your friend is going on and on about the new Beth Moore study she’s attending can help a lot, because it can help you to ask her good questions. Like, “Wow, I never heard that before! Where does Scripture say that?” or “Interesting! Could we look at that passage in context together?” And the same goes for reading that heretical book or watching that blasphemous movie or TV show. If you’re mature and discerning enough not to be swayed by it, you can use what you observe to start a good discussion and teach her what the Bible really says. So yes, being more open to listening and understanding is much more valuable than the knee jerk NOOOOOOOO!!! STOPPPPPP!!! reaction we discernment-world folks can be tempted to.

Have others felt this way too? Yep. You’re looking at one. Most people with even moderate discernment feel this way at least occasionally. And I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received from women grieved over the fact that they’re “the only discerning person in my church!”.

It’s no fun. It can be lonely. You might even need to change churches. But you’re in good company with the rest of us discernment weirdos out here, and you’re always in good company with Jesus.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.