Category Archives: Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (“Good Luck”, Miscarriage Funeral, Art Azurdia, JMac NOT partnering with false teachers)

15 Monday Oct 2018

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Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

Why do you still have Art Azurdia on your “Recommended Bible Teachers” list?

Genuine thanks to those of you who reached out in concern about this. I appreciate your dedication to sound doctrine and to protecting me from my own absentmindedness.

As many of you may recall, Art was removed from ministry by his church over the summer for committing adultery. The day Trinity Church released their statement announcing this, I added an update to the article (the article was written in 2016 – two years prior to his removal) linking to it and explaining the situation. I have since tweaked that update for clarity. The update to my article reads:

On July 2, 2018, the elders of Trinity Church announced the removal of Art Azurdia as pastor due to sexually immorality. Art subsequently released his own statement of contrition and repentance and stepped down from all public ministry. While Art’s sin does not change the doctrinal soundness of his previous books and materials, you may wish to use this information as a factor in deciding whether or not to use or continue using his previously released sermons and materials. Should Art take it upon himself to return to ministry in the future, I will not recommend him as he has disqualified himself from the biblical requirements (1 Timothy 3/Titus 1) for ministry. The above information now applies only to Art’s sermons and materials predating July 2, 2018.

Art has dropped off the face of the earth for all intents and purposes. With regard to public ministry, it is as if he died on July 2. His adultery does not magically change the content of his previously released sermons and materials from doctrinally sound to doctrinally unsound. Therefore, I am making the judgment call to leave the information in the article with the update and let people follow their consciences and decide for themselves whether or not to use his old materials.

Did you know John MacArthur is partnering with false teachers at a conference next year?

There is an ugly rumor going around that John MacArthur is partnering with Rick Warren (and other false teachers) at next year’s Proclaim 19, the annual National Religious Broadcasters International Christian Media Convention. He is not.

Dr. MacArthur has been asked to deliver a sermon at the convention in honor of his 50th year of broadcasting Grace to You as well as his 50th anniversary of pastoring Grace Community Church. His appearance at the convention has no connection to other speakers who are speaking at other times and at other events during the convention.

I believe part of the reason people are being deceived into believing that Dr. MacArthur is “partnering” or “sharing the stage” with false teachers at Proclaim 19 is that they do not understand the nature of this event. I attended a similar event a few years ago, the International Christian Retail Show, when my book, Jacob: Journaling the Journey first came out.

You need to understand that the NRB event, like the ICRS event I attended, is a products, services, and informational trade show for the people and ministries NRB serves, not a preaching and teaching Christian conference.

At a trade show, there’s a large arena with dozens or even hundreds of exhibitor booths. You walk around and look at what you’re interested in and what pertains to your ministry. You network with people you meet who are in your particular field. That’s it. That’s what you’re there for – a products and services fair – not to be taught the Bible. Some trade shows offer various tangential events, dinners, or lectures for attendees who might be interested in a particular niche topic. If you’re interested in the topic and/or speaker, you attend. If not, you don’t. It is at one of these “a la carte” types of events that Dr. MacArthur is speaking. As of today, the only other person appearing at that event is Joni Eareckson Tada, who will be singing some hymns.

Another thing to keep in mind about this event is that it is taking place over the course of four full days, and it’s a “come and go” type of thing. Thousands of people will attend at various times during the four days. At an event this large and fluid, it is very likely Dr. MacArthur won’t even lay eyes on Rick Warren or any of the other problematic personalities who will be attending, especially if, as could be the case with his busy schedule, Dr. MacArthur is only at the convention for a brief amount of time. I’m not sure how you can be “partnering with” or “sharing a stage with” someone you have no contact with and isn’t present at the event you’re speaking at.

The deceptive information that Dr. MacArthur is “partnering” or “yoking” with false teachers is being spread mainly by a YouTube personality called “Servus Christi” . Friends, intentionally or unintentionally, this man is a deceiver and a slanderer, and he is causing division in the Body.

In the same way that you can’t trust every pastor or teacher to be doctrinally sound, you also can’t trust that every self-proclaimed “discernment” ministry is biblical, and Servus Christi most certainly is not. He routinely goes after “big name” doctrinally sound pastors and teachers with ridiculous and spurious claims in order to make a name for himself. (For example, he has falsely accused Paul Washer twice this year- once for “partnering” with Hillsong, and once for “partnering” with an associate of the Pope.)

Please don’t be deceived by this man, and don’t spread his deceptions by sharing them around on social media. Here’s the truthful information about Dr. MacArthur’s appearance at Proclaim 19 (the screenshotted statement is from Phil Johnson, head of Grace to You) and about Servus Christi:

 

If you’re considering commenting on this article to:

• defend Servus Christi, Jacob Prasch, or any other “discernment” ministry that slanders doctrinally sound teachers,
or to
• accuse John MacArthur (or any other doctrinally sound teacher) of heresy for appearing at this convention or for any other reason,

please save yourself some time and effort. Your comment will not be published.

This question was asked publicly on Twitter:

Is it philosophically inconsistent not to have some sort of funeral or burial of a miscarried fetus if you believe that fetus to be a human being with equal value and rights from conception? Asking for my wife and [me].

Great question. And if this isn’t a hypothetical question, I’m so sorry for your loss.

I think people grieve and honor lost loved ones in different ways and that, biblically, this is a matter of conscience. If you and your wife would like to have a full-scale funeral and burial for your baby, then go ahead and do that. If you’d like to do something more akin to a memorial service, that’s something to consider as well. You could also do something on a smaller scale such as a prayer gathering of your closest family and friends in someone’s home. Or, you could choose to follow whatever the hospital’s policy is for taking care of the baby’s remains. My thought is that as long as the remains are treated respectfully, as with any other death in the family, this is really a decision between you, your wife, and the Lord. Again, my condolences.

Thank you for your response, condolences, advice, and encouragement. I think God has provided an option for us that both honors our baby and satisfies our consciences. Thank you again.

Friends, would you please take a moment to pray that God will comfort this gentleman and his wife during this sad time?

Help me to respond to Christians that say “Good luck!” “Wish me good luck!” “We were lucky!” etc., etc., etc.! For the life of me I don’t understand.

Well…here’s how I would respond:

Her: “Good luck!”
Me: “Thanks! I covet your prayers.”

Her: “Wish me luck!”
Me: (In a lighthearted, sweet manner) “I’ll do you one better, I’ll pray for you!” (and then do it)

Her: “We were lucky!”
Me: “Wow, God really blessed you!” or… “I’m so thankful God protected you!” Or something like that.

I would not make a big deal out of this, especially if you know the person is saved and generally doctrinally sound. Most people just say these things out of habit and culture. It doesn’t mean they’re into New Age spirituality or anything like that. I mean, I eat Lucky Charms for breakfast sometimes, and I’m not into any of that. :0) It might make an interesting topic for Sunday School or Bible study class, though, just to help everybody become more aware of the things we say and why we say them.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

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The Mailbag: Potpourri (A rabbi, Rosaria, and a boy mom walk into a blog…)

08 Monday Oct 2018

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Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

Do you have any recommendations for mothers raising Godly men? I became a believer after I was married and my husband is not a believer yet.

As a mom to five boys myself, the best advice I can offer you is this: If you want to raise godly men, be a godly woman. Model godliness for your boys. Study your Bible, and teach them to study their Bibles. Pray, and teach them to pray. Be faithful to your church, find a way to serve there, and teach them to do the same. Obey God’s Word, and teach them to be obedient. When you sin, use it as an opportunity to teach them about repentance and forgiveness. Ask God for wisdom, strength, guidance, and patience. Pray for your boys’ salvation. Submit to your husband. Pray for him and for his salvation.

Some other resources you may find helpful:

Your pastor – Set up an appointment with your pastor to get some counsel. This is part of his job in shepherding you. It would also be very helpful to find an older, doctrinally sound sister in Christ at your church (preferably one who has raised boys) and ask her to mentor/disciple you.

Imperishable Beauty: A Study of Biblical Womanhood – If you’d like to learn more about being a godly woman, join our current Bible study here on the blog.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson – Although I wouldn’t endorse everything from Dobson, I found this book to be helpful years ago when my sons were young. (I have an older edition of the book, so I can’t vouch for any revisions in this newer edition.)

Six Ways to Raise a Godly Man

Parenting Articles

Are you preaching to men here? Are you instructing them?

This has been my frustration with this whole issue. I read the Bible a lot and can see so very much deception here in the West but feel like I am not allowed to say anything to the males who are deceived. And there are many, many false teachers who are male.

I’m not preaching to men or instructing them in that article. As I stated in the conclusion:

…in the end, this article is not meant to be a castigation of pastors or other Christian men, but an impassioned plea from a church lady who wants to see her sisters make it out alive. Help us. Please.

But even if that article had been instructive to men, that’s not a violation of Scripture. What the Bible prohibits is women preaching to men, instructing men in the Bible, and holding authority over men in the gathered body of Believers – the church setting. A blog is not the church. I think these articles may help as you study through this issue:

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit
Rock Your Role FAQs
Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?
The Mailbag: Is it OK for Christian men to read Christian women’s blogs?

The Bible also does not prohibit you from having a conversation with a male friend or relative to scripturally discourage him from following a false teacher or being a false teacher. (Obviously, you should use biblical wisdom about appearances and temptation when meeting with someone of the opposite sex, though.) That’s essentially what Priscilla and Aquila did when they corrected Apollos – they took him aside privately and explained the gospel more accurately to him.

I would just encourage you to think about your relationship with the man you’re considering talking to. Are you the best person for the job? Not because you’re a woman, but perhaps there’s someone he’s closer to or looks up to as a mentor whose correction might make more of an impact. What about you and your husband (if you’re married and he’s biblically able) approaching this man together as Priscilla and Aquila did? Just some things to consider.

Could you recommend your most trusted watchdog or heresy sites? I’m trying to find info on [a certain rabbi] as my mom has asked me to watch his teachings.

Well…if he’s a rabbi, he is – by definition – not a Christian, so you should not believe anything he says about God, Jesus, the Bible, church, theology, etc. If any Christian discernment sites have anything on him it will probably be Berean Research, Pirate Christian’s Blogs, or Fighting for the Faith. These are the sites I most often use for researching false teachers. I’ve listed a few other helpful discernment sites here (see #6).

In a recent article you said, “I’ve often cited the false teaching that prayer is a ‘two-way conversation’ (you talk to God and then He talks back to you).”

Are you saying that God never “talks” to us in reply to our prayers/talking to Him? Or are you saying that the idea of God talking to us as we talk to each other is wrong? (Thanks so much, in advance, for taking time to answer. I really think assuming things makes us vulnerable to misunderstanding…. May God bless you!)

May God bless you too, and thanks for your question.

The answer to both of your questions is “yes”. God does not “talk” to us, and the idea that He talks to us is biblically incorrect. God has already spoken to us, and even went so far as to have His words written down for us – it’s called the Bible. I’ve explained more about this in my article Basic Training: The Bible is Sufficient.

“You made a bunch of allegations in this article but didn’t back them up with any evidence.”

“You mentioned [a particular word, phrase, or concept] in your article. I don’t understand what that is. Can you please explain?”

Hyperlinks, y’all. They’re called hyperlinks. And you need to click on them to find the information you’re looking for.

If you’re reading one of my articles and you see a word in red that’s underlined when you hover over it (other sites might use other colors), clicking on it will take you to another article or resource that will provide you with more information. It’s a little bit like a footnote in a book.

If I stopped to explain every concept I thought people might not understand, gave the full details of every incident I allude to, or wrote out every Scripture that supports the point I’m making, my articles would be tediously long (even more so than usual!). Hyperlinks are a convenient way to provide you with the details, information, or Scriptures you need without adding unbearable length to the article.

All you have to do is click on them.

Our church recently did a book study on “The Gospel Comes with a House Key” by Rosaria Butterfield. The book’s theme is “radical hospitality”. She and her husband invite non-believing people into their home for meals etc. They place no boundaries on this, many are strangers to them.

Concerns my husband and I had were the lack of safety for their family, and the spiritual danger of being yoked together with unbelievers. When we expressed our concerns, no one else spoke up in agreement with us. We have no problem inviting non-believers into our home, we just want to have some idea of who they are. What is your opinion of this book?

I haven’t read the book, but I have listened to two or three interviews with Rosaria in which she talked about the book and the way she and her husband practice hospitality, so I’ve heard her explain how they open their home to those in their neighborhood whom they may not necessarily know. (For those who aren’t familiar with Rosaria – I do not follow her closely, but from what I know of her, and the people who endorse her, she is doctrinally sound.)

The Butterfields’ Method– The Bible tells us to practice hospitality, but it doesn’t specify precisely how we are to do that. That’s because the Bible has to be applicable to all people across all cultures, contexts, and time. Hospitality will look different even between two families in the same church who are next-door neighbors.

You and your husband are not the Butterfields. You do not live in their town or neighborhood. Your family is different from theirs. And all of that is perfectly fine. God does not call or expect Christians to be carbon copies of each others. That means the way you practice hospitality may not look exactly like the way the Butterfields practice hospitality. And that’s perfectly fine, and biblical, too.

I don’t think the purpose of Rosaria’s book was to say, “This is the definition of hospitality and this is how every Christian has to practice it.”. I think the purpose was to explore the topic of hospitality and stress its importance. Her description of the specific way her family practices hospitality serves as an example of one way to practice it if that would be a fit for your family.

The Butterfields’ Safety– I can understand why, in this day and age, you would be concerned about their safety and the security of their home. They have chosen to accept this risk and practice hospitality this way.

There are two “no-no’s” that go along with your concern and their decision. Your concern does not mean they have to change their decision (not saying you think that, but a surprising number of Christians do), and their decision does not get to dictate the way your family practices hospitality. That we practice hospitality is a biblical command. The way we practice hospitality is a matter of Christian liberty and wisdom for each individual family.

Yoking with Unbelievers– The mere act of inviting unbelievers to your home for a meal or social event is not a violation of Scripture, especially when the end game is to share the gospel with them. This is the kind of hospitality Jesus practiced with unbelievers, except He didn’t have a home to invite them to. He went to their homes.

The only danger of yoking with unbelievers that could come with practicing this kind of hospitality is getting too intimate with unbelieving friends you’ve made and allowing them to pull you away from Christ and into disobedience. For Christians who are mature enough to stand firm in the faith and keep a wise amount of distance with unbelieving friends, the Butterfields’ method of hospitality should not present a problem in this respect. If your family is more spiritually vulnerable, it would probably be wise to consider other ways of practicing hospitality.

 

It’s wonderful that you’re considering ways to practice hospitality. I would suggest you and your husband pray for wisdom and guidance. Brainstorm some ways you could tweak what the Butterfields do so it’s a fit for your family, or come up with your own unique way of practicing hospitality.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Answering a Fool #1

01 Monday Oct 2018

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Answer a fool according to his folly,
lest he be wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 26:5

There’s a lot of foolishness masquerading as Christianity these days. Occasionally, I get e-mails and messages showcasing this type of foolishness. It needs to be biblically corrected so these folks can stop “being wise in their own eyes,” repent, and believe and practice the truth of Scripture. From time to time, I’ll be sharing those e-mails in The Mailbag with a biblical corrective, not only so the e-mail writer can be admonished by Scripture, but to provide you with Scriptures and reasoning you can use if you’re ever confronted with this kind of foolishness.

(This reader’s e-mail {in blue} is reprinted in full.)

I just happened to read what you had to say about all the Bible Teachers you discussed in [the] article I read.

Since I got the feeling you are 100% right in all of your teachings, you know the Bible better than anyone…

I’m flattered you think so, but like any sane person, I would never, and have never, claimed to be “100% right in all of my teachings” or that I “know the Bible better than anyone.”

Can we stop this sort of thing, please? This is really just silly. These are the kinds of retorts a fourth-grader throws out in an argument when she doesn’t have a leg to stand on or doesn’t think well on her feet. It’s basically playground name-calling, it’s childish, and it’s not becoming of someone who claims to be a Christian. Go learn your Bible and bring Scripture to back up your argument. That’s how grownups handle disagreements on theological issues.

I can’t help but wonder why you never mentioned a word about praying for God to reveal His truth and asking us to do the same!

I can’t help but wonder which article of mine you’re talking about since you didn’t mention the title of it. If you’re going to lambaste me about an article I’ve written, at least tell me which one it is. I’ve been blogging for ten years. That’s a lot of articles. Help me out here.

I can only assume you’re talking about one of my articles at the Popular False Teachers tab. The reason none of those articles mention “praying for God to reveal His truth and asking you to do the same” is that He has already answered that prayer. God’s revealed truth? It’s called the Bible. There’s no need to pray for something God has already given us. Perhaps if you weren’t following false teachers you would know that. God has given us His written Word as the standard for determining what is true and what is not. All we have to do is compare a teacher’s doctrine and behavior to Scripture to see whether or not it lines up. Simple.

I am a little offended that I have been put into a category of not knowing God’s word well enough to discern false teachers from legit teachers.

I have no idea who you are, and we’ve never had any previous contact, so I haven’t put you in any sort of category. But these strong feelings you’re having could be an indication that the Holy Spirit is convicting you of unbiblical beliefs. It’s never an accident when you “stumble across” biblical truth. Have you considered the possibility that the Holy Spirit led you to my blog so you would be exposed to the truth of His Word?

There’s a solution for this offense you’re feeling. Study your Bible, pray for the wisdom and discernment to handle and apply Scripture correctly, and obey God’s instructions to dump teachers who rebel against His written Word and teach false doctrine. God delights to answer such prayers.

God can speak to us through a Wino if we will listen.

Thanks, but I’ll stick with the Bible. I don’t know any winos personally, and even if I did, I’m pretty sure that the Bible is a lot more reliable than anyone’s drunken ramblings since I know the Bible is God speaking.

I will be praying for you Michelle that God will reveal His truth to you about you judging people you do not even know…

Can I ask you something? Do you know President Trump? Any movie stars? Sports figures? Hitler? The president of Planned Parenthood? Have you ever looked at the words or actions of any of them and said they were wrong about something? According to your logic, you can’t judge that Hitler’s actions were wrong because you didn’t know him. You can’t judge any of President Trump’s words or actions and say he was wrong (or right) about anything because you don’t know him. You can’t even sit on a jury in your local court system and render a verdict because you don’t know the defendant.

And you certainly can’t judge me as you’ve been doing in this e-mail, telling me I’m wrong, because you don’t know me, either. Get the log out of your own eye before you suggest there’s a speck in mine, you hypocrite.

The truth is, in my articles about false teachers, I have made biblical judgments by examining their words and actions against Scripture. I encourage people to stay away from those who live in unrepentant sin and/or teach false doctrine, in keeping with Scripture. God instructs us to judge the fruit of those who claim to be Christians in order to keep sin and false doctrine out of the church.

…and have no idea how many people may have gotten saved under these teachers.

Anyone who gets saved while sitting under a false teacher gets saved in spite of that false teacher, not because of her. The fact that someone happens to get saved at the same time she’s under the influence of a false teacher does not legitimize the blasphemy that false teacher is committing. People get saved while still a member of Mormonism, too. That doesn’t mean Mormonism is biblical and OK with God.

Furthermore, when people are genuinely born again while under the influence of a false teacher or false doctrine, they leave that teacher or doctrine pretty quickly. John 10 explains that when a sheep truly belongs to Christ, that sheep will know and obey her Shepherd, and she will not follow the voice of a stranger (false teacher).

A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers. John 10:5

I didn’t say that. Jesus said that.

Let God do His job…

It’s difficult for me to believe that you know what God’s job is well enough to assume that I’m trying to do it when you’re not even clear on what our job is even though it’s clearly spelled out in Scripture. I am not attempting to “do God’s job,” I am attempting to do the “job” He has instructed Christians to do.

…there are to (sic) many lost people in this world for you to be trying to stop Christian Women from reading or attending services they choose to attend.

Where does it say that in the Bible? Chapter and verse, rightly handled, in context, please.

Also, you need to understand that just because someone claims to be a Christian, goes to church, gives all the “right” answers, has been baptized, is a nice person, etc., does not mean she is saved. Go back to John 10: obstinately following false teachers is a sign that someone is not saved regardless of what she professes to be.

You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ Matthew 7:16-23

I cannot stop anyone from attending anything. It is my job – and yours, if you’re a Christian – to proclaim God’s written Word and warn our brothers and sisters of the danger of false teachers and false doctrine. The question is not, “Why am I warning people against false teachers?”, the question is, “Why aren’t you warning people against false teachers, and why are you unbiblically judging me for obeying God’s instruction to do so?”.

Praying for you and all false teachers and leaders, including myself if I am one.

I welcome your prayers, and I mean that sincerely. I have also prayed for you. If you honestly want to know the truth of God’s Word, keep your nose in The Book, and ask Him to help you understand it rightly, with godly wisdom and discernment. Ask Him to help you obey His Word, even if you don’t totally understand it or like it. Deny yourself – your opinions, preferences, and experiences – and be transformed by the renewing of your mind unto Christlikeness.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Resource Round-Up: The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel

24 Monday Sep 2018

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What are your thoughts on the Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel?

So much has been written and said about the Statement that I really didn’t have much unique material to add. In this vlog, I explain why I signed the Statement and give a few of my own thoughts on both the Statement and on social justice in general, but I’d mainly like to point you to the excellent resources below.

 

The Statement:

The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel

Essays (articles) on the Statement Articles by crafters of the Statement – John MacArthur, Justin Peters, Josh Buice, Tom Buck, Phil Johnson, Darrell Harrison, and more – expounding on various issues related to the Statement.

Please note: I am not familiar with a few of the blogs, websites, and podcasts linked below. The links below are not an endorsement of any content these sites may have created which contradicts the information at my Statement of Faith or Welcome tabs at the top of this page.

Articles on the Statement or on social justice in general

Social Injustice and the Gospel – John MacArthur

Is the Controversy over “Social Justice” Really Necessary? – John MacArthur

The Injustice of Social Justice – John MacArthur

The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel – Tom Ascol

Why I Signed the Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel – Josh Buice

The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel – Pyromaniacs

Is Social Justice a Gospel Issue? – Kevin DeYoung

Covenant Theology, the Law, and Biblical Justice – Founders Ministries

What Does the Bible Say About Social Justice? – Gabriel Hughes

Social justice statement spurs ‘productive conversation’ – Baptist Press

If We Lose the Meaning of “Justice,” We Lose the Gospel – Stand to Reason

Social Justice: Why Jesus Didn’t Pursue it & Why the Church Shouldn’t Fight for It – Truth + Fire

Podcasts, Sermons, and Videos on the Statement or on social justice in general

Social Justice and the Gospel: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 – John MacArthur

The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel: Background, Exegesis, Application – The Dividing Line (James White)

The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel with Tom Ascol – Sheologians (Summer Jaeger and Joy Temby)

Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 (ongoing) – The Sword and the Trowel (Tom Ascol and Jared Longshore)

Tom Ascol and the SJ&G – Doctrine and Devotion

Social Justice and the Gospel – Just Thinking (Darrell Harrison and Virgil Walker)

MLK 50 Conference – Just Thinking (Darrell Harrison and Virgil Walker)

Darrell Harrison on The Statement on Social Justice and the Gospel – Airing the Addisons

Statement on Social Justice with Josh Buice – The Rapp Report (Andrew Rappaport)

Josh Buice, G3, & The Statement on Social Justice & the Gospel – Dead Men Podcast

Social Justice & Issues with Parts of Social Justice Statement – The Briefing (Al Mohler)

President Reagan’s Faith, Interaction with Dr. Albert Mohler, Brief Comments on Justice – The Dividing Line (James White)

The Statement – Theology Driven

The Coming Social Justice Storm – Voice of Reason Radio

The Left Can’t Not Be Crazy – Relatable (Allie Stuckey) 8:20-13:10

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Is lust a sin for women, too?

17 Monday Sep 2018

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In the past, I’ve had lots of trouble wondering about my desire and tendency to look at, and get excited by, physically attractive men, especially men who reveal a lot of themselves in underwear modeling and soft-core porn. I think this is a sin, but I’m not sure.

I’ve gotten mixed reactions when I’ve mentioned this to people. There are some who say that, yes, this is the sin of lust. Yet there are others who have told me that women cannot possibly struggle with lust, only men do. I once dealt with one particular man who was very dogmatic that God created men and women to be tempted differently, and that lust is not a temptation women deal with, so he dismissed my struggles with this subject.

When I tried to search Scripture, using Matthew 5:28, it would also seem that this is a male-only sin. So is it OK for me to keep looking at male models, including underwear modeling and soft-core porn?

This is an awesome question for three reasons. First, you’re concerned about whether or not you’re sinning with the aim of mortifying this behavior if it is a sin. Second, you’re not relying on your own feelings, opinions, or experiences to determine whether or not this is a sin, you’re turning to Scripture to find out. Those are both very encouraging things. They demonstrate that the Holy Spirit is working in your heart to sanctify you and make you more like Christ. Third, it gives us an opportunity to take a look at the Scriptures in more depth and give an example of handling God’s Word correctly and in context for everyone reading this article. So, thank you for asking!

The short answer to your question is, yes, lust is sinful for the women who experience it just as much as it is for the men who experience it. But I don’t want you to just take my word for it, so let’s look at why.

The Scripture you’ve cited, Matthew 5:28, is definitely one of the passages that addresses this issue. It says:

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

I suspect this verse might be the reason the man you spoke with said that lust is a male-only sin, because this particular verse speaks to men lusting after women. However, to make a blanket statement that because God created men and women differently, lust is never a temptation for women is foolhardy and shows a lack of biblical knowledge and understanding as well as a denial of reality.

Let’s address reality first. It is true that God created men in such a way that they are more likely to be sexually stimulated by what they see than women are. However, that does not mean that no woman anywhere has ever experienced lust. God also created men in such a way that men are usually taller and stronger than women and women are usually more emotionally expressive than men. But we can look around us and see that some women are taller or stronger than some men, and some men are more emotionally expressive than some women.

Furthermore, while you really can’t do anything about how tall you are (and, to some extent, how strong you are), lust is something that can be introduced to women and encouraged in women by culture. A hundred years ago, it would have been unthinkable to see advertisements featuring nearly naked men, or strip clubs with male dancers, or pornography aimed at women, so readily available and with so little shame attached. And at that time there were probably far fewer women who struggled with the sin of lust.

These days, it’s right there on your phone or computer or TV or at the bachelorette party for your friend. Lust, lewd behavior, and lurid talk by women are actually encouraged by the feminist movement. (If men are going to objectify women with lust and porn, we’re going to objectify them right back. Really? This is equality? The right to sink to the same depth of degradation as the scuzziest of men? No thanks.) Watch any sitcom or drama on TV. You’ll see it soon enough. And, of course, there’s money to be made by making women into consumers of porn and other sexual material, so the businesses that peddle these things encourage women to lust as well. All of which means that today, just a hundred years later, far more women are struggling with the sin of lust.

So we can see that the reality is that lust is a temptation experienced by some women, even though men are more prone to it.

But is lust a sin for women if Matthew 5:28 is speaking in terms of men lusting? Yes. There are a couple of different reasons for this, one cultural, and one biblical.

Let’s go cultural first to understand more clearly why this particular verse is addressed to men rather than men and women. We start off with the knowledge that men are much more likely to experience lust than women. Then we take the culture of the time into account.

Jesus spoke these words in a patriarchal society. In His culture, there were no women in positions of authority and power. Men ran the political system, the religious system, and men were the heads of their households. (By the way, despite what our culture today would say, this wasn’t a bad thing in and of itself. In fact, most of this was perfectly biblical.) Normally, women were not educated, and they depended on men – first their fathers, then their husbands, and finally, their grown sons – to take care of them their entire lives.

So when Jesus was teaching to the crowds as with the Sermon on the Mount (which Matthew 5 is part of) the cultural understanding was that He was primarily teaching the men, and any women and children they brought with them were basically along for the ride. Indeed, many would have thought the women incapable of understanding teaching (since they were intellectually inferior to men) or unworthy of receiving teaching (because God had created them as “lesser” than men).

The Jewish understanding that Jesus was primarily teaching the men would have been similar. Rabbis didn’t teach women, they taught men. Any intentional biblical instruction women received would have been from their fathers or husbands at home. We can see further evidence of this cultural and Jewish understanding in several different Scriptures. A few examples:

At the feeding of the five thousand, the feeding of the four thousand, and some other New Testament “crowd scenes”, the crowd is numbered by the number of men present.

Both the woman at the well herself and the disciples “marveled” that Jesus was speaking with a woman.

Due to Martha’s cultural and Jewish understanding of women’s roles, Jesus had to explain to her that it was OK – even good – for Mary to sit at His feet and learn.

At Pentecost, Luke refers to the “multitude” as “devout men“, and Peter addresses this crowd as “men of Judea“, “men of Israel“, and “brothers“.

So, in Jesus’ secular and Jewish cultural context, He was understandably speaking to the men present. (And what was He telling these men who lived in a world that taught them that women were inferior to men, and that men could regard and treat women any way they wanted to? Jesus elevates the status of women by telling the men they’ve got to respect women even in their hearts. They’ve got to respect their wives by not committing adultery with other women in their hearts, and they’ve got to respect those other women by not using them as objects of sexual gratification in their hearts.) It would have been an unnecessary distraction from His message to address the women directly, and it would certainly have been viewed as inappropriate, maybe even perverted, for Jesus to have suggested that women lusted after men.

So Jesus’ culture, and the fact that lust is largely a sin committed by men, required Him to address this remark to men. But those two things do not have any bearing on the intrinsic sinfulness of lust itself, and they do not mean that this instruction applies only to men. In the section of Matthew 5 preceding the section on lust, Jesus deals with the sin of being angry with your “brother”. Does this mean anger is only sinful if you’re angry with a man instead of a woman? The section of Matthew 5 immediately following the section on lust says men may not divorce their wives except for unfaithfulness. Does this mean women are free to divorce their husbands for any reason? Of course not.

But it’s important to remember that Matthew 5:28 is not the only passage of Scripture that deals with lust. Let’s look at some others.

These passages describe lust as female attribute:

a wild donkey used to the wilderness, in her heat sniffing the wind! Who can restrain her lust?
Jeremiah 2:24a

Oholah played the whore while she was mine, and she lusted after her lovers…everyone after whom she lusted…the Assyrians, after whom she lusted…Her sister Oholibah saw this, and she became more corrupt than her sister in her lust and in her whoring, which was worse than that of her sister. She lusted after the Assyrians…all of them desirable young men.
Ezekiel 23:5a,7b,11,12a,c,

Ezekiel even describes Oholibah viewing pictures of men lustfully. Doesn’t it sound like a woman viewing pornography?:

But she carried her whoring further. She saw men portrayed on the wall, the images of the Chaldeans portrayed in vermilion, wearing belts on their waists, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them having the appearance of officers, a likeness of Babylonians whose native land was Chaldea. When she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea.
Ezekiel 23:14-16

In the Jeremiah passage, the lusting woman represents Israel. In Ezekiel, Oholah represents Samaria, and Oholibah represents Jerusalem. So these are not individual women lusting, rather, God is using the illustration of a woman lusting after her “lovers” to describe the unspeakable abomination of Israel’s idolatry. He was using the severest language He could to disgust His people over their sin and move them to repent and turn back to Him. God could have chosen any sin – male lust, robbery, murder, etc. – to represent how horrific their idolatry was to Him, but what did He choose? Female lust. Let that sink in.

Romans 1:18-32 clearly refers to the sins of both men and women, with verse 24 stating:

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,

These passages speak of lust in neutral, rather than male or female, terms:

and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion
2 Peter 2:10a

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
1 John 2:16

Lust is a form of coveting – the greedy yearning to have something that God has not given to you or has given to someone else, and that is certainly not limited to men. Also notice in these passages that you can covet a person, and that coveting is often linked to sensuality or sexual immorality.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
Exodus 20:17

coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.
Mark 7:22-23

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints…For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Ephesians 5:3,5

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Colossians 3:5

Finally, lusting after another person – adulterous coveting – is not loving your neighbor:

For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Romans 13:9

When you look at another person with lust, you are loving yourself. You are thinking selfishly about how that person could gratify your base desires, make you feel good, serve you. That is the antithesis of everything Jesus taught and stood for. Our Master, the One we follow and strive to be like, said:

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Mark 10:45

Jesus came to die on a cruel rugged cross to pay for the sins of the flesh. He would never have thought of using another person to gratify His own selfish desires. How could we?

Is lust a sin for women too? Absolutely. Stop it. Repent. Receive the merciful grace and forgiveness Christ offers.

Additional Resources:

Just Stop It: Instructions on how to repent at The Cripplegate

Hey, Porn Addict: Stop It by Gabriel Hughes

How do you stop looking at porn? at When We Understand the Text

God Over Porn

God Over Porn Women

Every Woman’s Silent Struggle: Fighting Lust with Sisters in Christ by Marian Jacobs

Confessions of a Lusting Christian Girl at Whole Magazine

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: How can I get started studying the Bible itself?

03 Monday Sep 2018

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Where would you recommend someone start if they really wanted to read the Bible for themselves?

I love this question so much. I wish more women were asking this question.

If you’ve hung around the blog for practically any amount of time, you’ve probably heard me say that next to “Is ______ a false teacher?”, the question I’m most often asked is, “Can you recommend a good women’s Bible study?“. I give the same answer to that question every time: no.

First of all, it’s easier to find a needle in a haystack than a doctrinally sound study at a Christian retailer. But, second, why would you rob yourself of the joy of holding the actual words of God in your hands and studying them for yourself? I can’t bring myself to recommend something that would be less – less joy, less growth in Christ, less depth, less knowledge of the Word – than the best. I recommend that you study God’s Word itself, not the gleanings from somebody else’s study of God’s Word.

When I first received this question, I wasn’t sure whether the reader wanted to know which book of the Bible she should start with or which method to use, so I’ll cover both.

📖 Fear not. Let’s take just one step backwards from this reader’s question for a moment. Sadly, some women have never been introduced to the idea that they can study the Bible for themselves, without using a pre-packaged (I call them “canned”) study (book, workbook, DVD, etc.). If this Mailbag article is the first time you’ve ever heard of such a thing, and you’re intrigued but apprehensive, don’t be afraid to give it a try. Until some time around the latter part of the 20th century, when people wanted to study the Bible, they just picked up the Bible itself and started studying. And it worked. People – usually with far less education than you have – grew in their faith to godly maturity just fine. There’s no reason you can’t do that, too.

📖 Go into it with the right mindset. Bible study is a skill just like anything else. You’re not going to be perfect at it the first time you try, just like you didn’t ride a bicycle perfectly the first time you tried. You may try a method of studying that just isn’t a fit for you. You might choose a book of the Bible that’s not as suited for beginners as another book might be. That’s OK. There’s going to be some trial and error. Stick with it and don’t give up.

📖 Commit I always encourage women to commit to putting aside all of the workbooks and devotionals for a year. It takes a while to get out of the habit of relying on somebody else to do the heavy lifting for you and into the habit of diligently digging in to God’s Word for yourself. If you have a little hiccup in your studying, don’t quit and go back to the canned studies, assuming you can’t handle studying God’s Word on your own. Yes, you can. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again.

📖 “Training wheels” If you need a little help getting started, choose one of the studies I’ve written at the “Bible Studies” tab at the top of this page. My studies are designed to train you to study the Bible for yourself. You’ll learn about context, cross-references, culture, the storyline of redemption from Old Testament to New, the kinds of questions you should be asking of the text, and more. They are “teach a woman to fish” studies rather than “give a woman a fish” studies. I fully expect that you will be able to bait your own hook in no time.

📖 Structure If structure and schedules and plans are your jam, you might want to choose a Bible reading plan. It’s become my New Year’s Day tradition to publish an annual round up of super Bible reading plans. Here’s the one for 2018. There are plans that range in length from seven days to indefinite. Some will take you through a biblical topic, others through one or two books, others through the whole Bible. If you’re a beginner, I would recommend starting with one of the shorter ones (90 days or less) to get your feet wet. And, when you’re ready to read through the whole Bible (which you really need to do at some point), I highly recommend the chronological plan.

📖 Freestyle If you’re more of a “set your own schedule” kind of person, just choose a book of the Bible – maybe one you’ve had your eye on – start at the beginning, and read a bit each day until you reach the end of the book. Then choose another book and start again. Not really familiar with the layout of the Bible? Try choosing one of the shorter (less than 20 chapters) books if this is your first try and you’re taking a shot in the dark. Enjoy reading stories? You might want to start with Genesis or one of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John). Looking for instruction instead? Try one of the epistles (basically anything between Acts and Revelation). You will probably want to save the longer and more complicated books (ex: the major and minor prophets, Revelation, Leviticus) for when you get a bit more experience with studying Scripture. As you get more confident in studying the Bible, make it your goal to study through every book at least once. 

📖 How to? There are a variety of methods and techniques you can learn for studying the Bible, and whatever method enables you to rightly handle God’s Word and works best for you is fine. I like to keep things simple. Before I start studying, I spend some time in prayer. I confess my sins, ask God to speak to me through His Word, and ask Him to help me correctly understand, obey, and apply His Word. After that, I have a spiral notebook and a pen, and I simply take notes on the text. (If you want to see the kinds of things I write down when I take notes, read through the questions in one of the studies I’ve written at the “Bible Studies” tab. I write those studies the same way I take notes during my personal study time.) As a beginner you may wish to simply read the text and build up to taking notes as you become more comfortable with reading.

📖 Get some help. You don’t have to do this all by yourself. Maybe your husband, a godly friend, one of the older ladies at church, or your pastor could offer you some pointers on studying your Bible or help you out with any questions you might encounter along the way. Never be afraid to ask for help. That’s what brothers and sisters in Christ are for.

I’ve also got a number of resources on how to study the Bible under the “Bible Studies” tab at the top of this page. Click on the link and scroll through, or you might wish to start with one of these.

You’re Not as Dumb as You Think You Are: Five Reasons to Put Down that Devotional and Pick Up the Actual Bible

Nine Helps for Starting and Sticking to Daily Bible Study

10 Bookmarkable Biblical Resources for Christian Women

10 Simple Steps to Plain Vanilla Bible Study

Rightly Dividing: 12 Do’s and Don’ts for Effective Bible Study

Bible Book Backgrounds: Why You Need Them and Where to Find Them

As a newly doctrinally sound Christian, should I stop journaling?

(More details on taking notes on the text of Scripture.)

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Sexual abuse, Feminism, Serpent seed doctrine…)

27 Monday Aug 2018

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Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

Can you please suggest an iPhone app Radio station that plays biblically sound worship, praise and messages?

A reader asked this question via Facebook recently. I mostly listen to podcasts, and though I’m aware of a few good sermon apps, I wasn’t familiar with any apps that provide both sermons and music. I asked my Facebook readers for some help and got lots of great answers. You can check out their suggestions here (even if you’re not on Facebook). I’m not personally familiar with all of these sites and apps, so use good discernment and make sure everything they’re teaching lines up with Scripture.

Do you have advice on Christian women and feminism? I have friends who are reading Jesus Feminist. The title makes me cringe.

Secular feminism is not something I handle a whole lot here on the blog, although I have touched on it in these articles:

Toxic (Evangelical) Femininity

Feminist Infiltration and the Emasculation of Christian Men

6 Reasons Godly Women are Stronger Than Feminazis

 

I would recommend that you head over to Sheologians. Summer and Joy have done several very good podcast episodes and articles on the history of feminism and its current influence on society and the church. I cannot remember whether they covered Jesus Feminist or not, so you may want to make use of the “contact us” link at the top of their site and ask. (Tell them I said hi!)

My husband and I are having sexual problems that stem from the fact that I was molested as a child. What should I do?

I have intentionally left out the specific details of this particular reader’s question, first, in order to protect her identity, second, because I have no doubt that many readers have this same general question, and third, because, being a stranger on the internet, I am not the person who can best help anyone in this situation, so I can only give a very general answer anyway.

I grieve with those of you who have had this terrible sin perpetrated against you. I hope the person who abused you was caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. It is also my prayer that God has taken what was meant for evil against you and used it for good in your life by drawing you to Himself, teaching you to depend on Him, and deepening your walk with Him.

As I mentioned, although I’m humbled and honored that readers sometimes reach out to me for help with staggering griefs and difficulties, I would be doing you a disservice if I tried to help you via e-mail or a blog article with complicated personal problems that require ongoing counseling from someone you have (or can develop) a face-to-face relationship with.

Generally speaking, it’s important that you understand that, as a child, the abuse was not your fault, regardless of how you responded to it at the time. A physiological response (orgasm) to the abuse does not mean you enjoyed being violated, wanted it to happen, or were “asking for it”. Neither does having kept it a secret, being friendly with the abuser, “allowing” the abuse to continue in order to receive gifts from the abuser, etc. You were a victim.

It’s important that your husband understand that the sexual difficulties you are experiencing are no reflection on him. Sex is a very personal thing, and he may be incorrectly assuming that your aversion to sex is an aversion to his performance or to him, personally. He will also need to come to grips with the fact that there’s no quick, cut-and dried, three or five or fifteen step plan to “fixing” this. It will be a growth process for both of you.

Assuming you’re in a doctrinally sound church, I would urge you and your husband in the strongest possible terms to set up an appointment with your pastor for counseling. Shepherding your souls through life’s difficulties is part of his biblical job description, and if he went to a decent seminary, he was trained in marital counseling.

If you absolutely don’t think you could look your pastor in the eye during the sermon every week after discussing such personal matters, ask him for a referral to a certified biblical counselor (not a “Christian counselor” – biblical counseling, formerly called nouthetic counseling, is different) who can help you and your husband heal by learning and walking out in your marriage the Scriptures that apply to your situation. If your pastor isn’t familiar with biblical counseling, find a referral through the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, the counselor search links here, or contact a nearby (doctrinally sound) seminary or Christian university and ask if you can speak to someone in their school of biblical counseling.

I know it seems like it will be painful and embarrassing to discuss this situation with a third party, but don’t let it continue to fester. It will destroy your marriage. Getting biblical help will set you and your husband free.

What are your thoughts on a woman teaching an introductory class in biblical Greek to adults (men and women) at church?

Not knowing the context and spiritual climate of your church and assuming the class is taught in the same way other academic foreign language classes are taught – alphabet, vocabulary, grammar, etc. – I don’t see any more problem with it than if she were teaching French or Swahili or Chinese.

The biblical prohibition against women teaching men has to do with women instructing men in the content of the Bible, not the language the Bible was originally written in. Greek is just a language like any other. It is not holy or special just because that’s the language the majority of the New Testament was penned in. (Actually, the opposite is true. Greek was the most widely spoken language of the time, so God used it to get His Word out to the largest number of people.)

Even if the teacher has the class translate portions of Scripture or uses a word or phrase from a Bible verse to illustrate the meaning of a word – assuming she doesn’t veer off into preaching on that verse – she is still teaching a language, not giving Bible instruction to men in the way prohibited by Scripture.

As I said, I don’t know the context and spiritual climate of your church so there could be other factors along those lines that need to be taken into consideration as to whether or not it’s wise for a woman to teach this class, but strictly speaking as to whether or not it’s a violation of Scripture, no.

Do you have any teachings on the implications of the serpent seed doctrine?

No, I’ve never written about it because, until I was asked this question, I’d never heard of it.

I did a brief search, and I would say that the implications are racism, false doctrine, and poor hermeneutics. Apparently, the gist of this teaching is that when the serpent tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, a sexual encounter took place between the two, leading to the conception of Cain. Therefore, everyone who is descended from Cain was conceived from the “serpent’s seed” and is of the devil.

This is a concoction of an evil imagination and has no basis in Scripture whatsoever. In fact, Genesis 4:1 clearly tells us who Cain’s father was. Even Cain’s name tells us God caused Eve to conceive him:

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”

I mean, that’s pretty much a mic drop moment with regard to this ridiculous “doctrine”.

Here are a couple of good resources explaining more:

What is the Serpent Seed doctrine?

The serpent seed and the Kenites

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Should Christian women cover up while breastfeeding?

20 Monday Aug 2018

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To my dear brothers in Christ –
This is an opportune time to remind you that this blog is written to, and for, Christian women. Though you are always welcome to “eavesdrop” here, please be advised that this article contains reverent and biblical, yet open, references to female anatomy and sexuality. If that would cause you to stumble in any way, please do not read this article.

 

It seems like I’m constantly seeing stories in the news and on social media in which breastfeeding women angrily freak out about being asked to cover themselves while nursing their babies. How should Christian women approach this issue? Maybe these women are right to protest? It’s just feeding a baby in the natural way, after all, isn’t it?

Whenever Christians approach an issue like this (or any other), the first thing we need to ask ourselves is, “Who am I?” not “What do I want to do?”. For Christians the answer has to start with, “I am a bondservant of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am here to represent Him and do what He wants me to do, not what I want to do.”

So, how would Christ want a Christian nursing mother to act and to represent Him in this situation?

Christ wants us to be kind and be at peace with others.
There are hills to die on, such as biblical truth, the gospel, and protecting the lives of others. Personal preferences and habits are not one of those hills.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Matthew 16:24

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Romans 12:18

But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
Matthew 5:39-41

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4

We’re to be gracious and hospitable to others, even putting ourselves out, if necessary, to be kind to them. I have nursed four babies. It is not that big of a deal to throw a burp rag or small blanket over your shoulder and the baby. As an imitator of Christ, why would I not do this small thing as an act of love toward someone who’s uncomfortable enough to ask me to do so? Why would I ever act with hostility or speak unkindly to this person who’s asking me to cover? Does that kind of attitude represent Christ well?

Christ wants us to be set apart from the world.
If the world is acting a certain way, it’s a pretty good bet that Christians should be acting the opposite way.

Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord,
2 Corinthians 6:17a

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,
Titus 2:11-12

I’ve seen some of the articles and social media posts from women (whom I can only assume by their words and actions are unsaved) who really do “angrily freak out” when asked to cover. If Christian women act the same way the world acts, how is that a testimony to Christ? Does that kind of behavior represent Christ well?

Christ wants us to share the gospel.
One of the reasons Christ wants us to be kind and peaceable to others and set apart from the world is because acting that way grabs the attention of lost people. Godly attitudes and behavior are a rare light shining in the darkness of our world. It is so joltingly unexpected that lost people will often ask in incredulity why we’ve acted that way. And that is our open door to explain why and share the gospel.

but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.
1 Peter 3:15 (CSB)

Nevertheless, we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ.
1 Corinthians 9:12b

Christians are people who put aside our personal rights and endure without offense the slings and arrows hurled at us by the lost in order to reach them with the gospel. If someone asks you to cover and you go off on her, is that going to open a door for you to share the gospel with her? Do you think she would even listen to you after your angry tirade?

Christ wants us to be honest.
In the stories I’ve read about the covering issue, the most common argument I’ve seen for refusing to cover is, “It’s natural! I’m just feeding my baby!”.

Come on. Let’s get real. And biblical.

First, there are plenty of “natural” bodily functions we don’t perform in public for the world to see. We don’t have sex in public. We don’t relieve ourselves or attend to feminine hygiene needs in public. We don’t change clothes in public. We don’t bathe in public. Most of us even avoid burping and passing gas in public. “It’s natural!” isn’t even a logical (never mind biblical) argument for doing something in public. Performing any and all bodily functions in public without shame is what animals do, not people made in the image of God.

Next, feeding a baby with your breast isn’t the same thing as feeding a baby with a bottle or from a spoon. Don’t believe me? When was the last time you saw an article about a woman who was offended by someone asking her to cover up a Dr. Brown’s or a jar of strained peas? Never, that’s when. No reasonable human being is buying the argument that, visually, breast equals bottle, so let’s stop trying to make that happen. The two are different, and that’s OK.

One of the differences is that while bottles and spoons have only one function – transporting food to mouth – breasts are multi-taskers, much like our tongues. We use our tongues for eating, but we also use them for talking. We use our breasts for feeding babies, but they are also a component of our sexuality. And that’s not a bad thing, nor are men wrong or bad for considering breasts to be sexual. That’s the way God created women and men.

rejoice in the wife of your youth…Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
Proverbs 5:18b,19b

Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle…Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
Song of Solomon 7:3,7-8a

They played the whore in Egypt; they played the whore in their youth; there their breasts were pressed and their virgin bosoms handled.
Ezekiel 23:3

Your breasts don’t look any different when you’re feeding a baby than they do when they’re functioning sexually. Whether you intend for them to be sexual or not, breasts are breasts regardless of context. As constant components of sexuality, in order to maintain biblical modesty and avoid being a stumbling block to others, your breasts are for reserved for two sets of eyes only: your husband’s eyes and the eyes of the child you’re currently nursing. And precisely because of that, God instructs us to keep the girls under wraps.

And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.
Genesis 3:21

When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister.
Ezekiel 23:18

I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen,
Revelation 3:18a

and our unpresentable [body] parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require.
1 Corinthians 12:23b-24a

likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control,
1 Timothy 2:9a

Outside of the one flesh relationship of marriage, the Bible equates nakedness with shame and clothing and modesty with honor. Does flaunting the nakedness of private body parts more closely align with what the Bible calls shameful or what the Bible calls honorable?

Breastfeeding your baby is a good thing. Biblical modesty is also a good thing. Fortunately, the two are easily compatible. Nursing your baby in public? Don’t put others in the awkward position of having to ask. Cover up.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Heretical church music, Mistranslating 1 Tim. 2:12, Books for women…)

13 Monday Aug 2018

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Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

I need guidance in approaching the worship director of the church I started attending 6 months ago (haven’t joined yet) due to his frequent use of Bethel/Jesus Culture/Hillsong/Elevation Church music. I stand there in silence most of the worship time because I just don’t feel comfortable singing those songs. I don’t want to meet with him and be that person who is critical and legalistic but I feel convicted that someone needs to. Should I go talk to the pastor first (we have somewhat of a relationship since I’ve met with him a couple times and agree with his theology)?

It’s awesome that you are discerning enough to know that music from these heretical and New Apostolic Reformation organizations shouldn’t be used by any church. I encourage you to keep having those “powers of discernment trained by constant practice” of distinguishing good from evil (Hebrews 5:14).

I also want to encourage you that inquiring about the theology of a church or its music – especially as someone who is deciding whether or not to join that church – is not being “critical and legalistic”. That is what scoffers say about discernment issues, but it is not the biblical way of viewing “contending for the faith”. Do not allow ungodly people with their unbiblical personal opinions to deter you or even make you feel bad for doing what is right and good and godly.

I agree with you that someone needs to address the issue of the music. It is possible that’s why God put you into this church at this time – to pray for the church, the minister of music, and the pastor about this, and to lovingly explain the issues.

Since I’m not personally involved in the situation, I can’t offer any advice as to whether to approach the minister of music or the pastor first. I would suggest you pray and ask God to give you the wisdom to know which one of them to speak to first, and trust Him to direct your paths. You might want to consider which of these men you feel will be more receptive to what you have to say. If you go to the minister of music first and he brushes you off, I would encourage you to go to the pastor next. I think both of their responses will help you decide whether or not you want to join this church.

Here are some resources that may help:

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?

Hillsong’s Theology of Music and Worship

The Mailbag: Should Christians listen to “Reckless Love”?

Popular False Teachers (further information on Hillsong, Bethel, Jesus Culture, Steven Furtick)

A popular Christian apologist I follow says that the prohibition against women preaching, teaching Scripture to men, and holding authority over men in the church in 1 Timothy 2:12 is translated incorrectly.

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

He says it should not be translated as “woman” and “man” “but as “wife” and “husband”, and that he believes Bible translators mainly translate it as man woman due to tradition (i.e. men have historically been the pastors and teachers in the church).

This is why linguists – professional experts in the biblical languages – are hired to translate Scripture, not apologists.

Bible translators (of reliable translations) are true to the text, not church tradition or personal convictions. Furthermore, when translators are working on the text, it is not a lone individual who writes down what he thinks the Greek words say and that’s the Bible you end up reading. There are teams of translators, linguists, editors, and even computer experts who work on the text. They check, and double check, each other’s work. So even if one translator was translating according to tradition or opinion, it would be caught by others and not allowed to slip through the cracks.

All of the most reliable English translations translate the words as “man” and “woman”, not “husband” and “wife”.

And just for kicks, I checked this verse in about a dozen of the less reliable translations, and every single one of them translates it “man” and “woman”. Even versions that got other parts of verse 12 incorrect still use “man” and “woman.” For goodness sake, even The Message and The Passion “Translation” possibly the two worst English versions of the Bible (They’re not even translations. The Message is a paraphrase, written by someone who endorsed the heresy-laden book The Shack and has made statements affirming homosexuality. And Passion is the new New Apostolic Reformation version of the Bible, based, supposedly, on new revelation directly from God.) both say “man” and “woman”. And the NAR is totally OK with female preachers, so you know they’re not using “man” and “woman” due to tradition.

So we’ve got one apologist who’s of the opinion that it should be “husband” and “wife” against scads of translators who are experts in their fields and whack job NAR “translators” who approve of female pastors, who all use “man” and “woman”. You would think someone out of all of those people would have translated it “husband” and “wife” if that was the correct translation. It’s telling that even “translators” who push the egalitarian agenda won’t go so far as to change it to “husband” and “wife”. I think the apologist is somewhat out of his depth here.

A few more quotes from said apologist:

“Verse 11 and following is directed at women in the context of their relationship with a man to whom they are supposed to be entirely submissive. That is a marriage relationship…1 Timothy 2 talks about the relationship between husband and wife; it’s chapter 3 that talks about church leadership.”

No, verse 11 is not directed at women. Neither are any of the other verses in chapter two or the rest of the book. First Timothy is a pastoral epistle. It was directed at Timothy by the Holy Spirit via Paul as sort of a “policy and procedure manual” for the church. This passage is not talking to women about their marriages, it is talking to pastors and elders about how to run the church. Verses 11-12 are talking about the role and behavior of women (all women, not just wives) in the church setting. They are not to instruct men in the Scriptures or exercise authority over men. That  definitely “talks about church leadership” by excluding women from leadership roles that place them in authority over, or instructing, men.

And keep in mind that when 1 Timothy was written, there were no chapter and verse markings. The text was one continuous flow. If you begin reading in 2:11 and go through 3:13 (try reading it here, adjusting the settings to remover chapter and verse markings), I believe there’s a strong case to be made that 2:11-15 is actually the introduction to the qualifications for pastors, elders, and deacons. The passage (2:11-3:13) starts by stating who is disqualified from those positions and why (2:11-15) and then moves on to who is qualified and how (3:1-13).

Furthermore, if you’ll take a look at verses 8-10 of chapter two, which immediately precede the verses in question (11-12) and provide context, you’ll see more instructions to both men and women. Are only husbands to pray? Are only wives to dress modestly and respectably and adorn themselves with good works? What about single men and women, divorced men and women, widows and widowers?

No other place in Scripture teaches that all women should be under the authority of all men in the church. If this passage is to be interpreted the traditional way, this makes a new and unusual pattern of submission.

And this passage (1 Timothy 2:12) doesn’t teach that either. The statement that women are not to have authority over men doesn’t flip around to mean that all men are in authority over all women. That’s fallacious logic, silly reasoning, and patently unbiblical. The text says what it says and that’s it. You can’t turn it inside out and make an inference from an incorrect converse. That’s being a poor workman and mishandling Scripture.

It’s abundantly clear that “man” and “woman” are the correct translation in 1 Timothy 2:12. If anyone is being more loyal to an agenda than to the text here, it’s the apologist, not the translators.

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

What do you recommend as daily devotionals for children, ages 2 and 10? I am looking to start daily Bible time with the kids before we start school.

I don’t recommend “canned” Bible studies and devotionals, but rather teaching straight from Scripture itself. I’ve explained this more, including a few suggestions for teaching your children, in my article The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?

If you’re looking at a 5-10 minute time frame, you might want to work your way through Proverbs one verse at a time, or possibly some of the shorter Psalms. I usually set aside a 30 minute block of time and read through a book with my boys one chapter a day, asking questions and explaining things along the way. If you’d like, feel free to use any of my studies at the “Bible Studies” tab at the top of this page, selecting and simplifying the questions you feel are most appropriate for your children.

How can I subscribe to your blog via e-mail?

If you’re on a computer, there’s a little box in the left sidebar where you can enter your e-mail address:

Inline image

I don’t know if your phone is the same as mine or not, but here’s what the e-mail sign-up on my phone looks like:

Inline image

I was wondering if you had a list of recommended books for women. I’m trying to offer an alternative to an NAR book that has nice ideas and some good thoughts but also strays into Spiritual Formation and, of course, really off-base hermeneutics. 

I don’t really know of any off-hand along those lines that I would recommend. The problem with “Christian” books for women by women is that most of them contain false doctrine. A couple of suggestions:

1. The Bible. If you’re looking for a book with nice ideas and good thoughts, Psalms might be a good place to start. Getting grounded in God’s Word and digging deep into Scripture itself is the best way to guard your ladies against the false doctrine you’re describing.

2. There’s no reason women can’t read books authored by men. If you already have a particular doctrinally sound book in mind that was authored by a man, go right ahead and use that one. I would recommend any of the male authors under my “Recommended Bible Teachers” tab (as well as any of the female authors listed there). You might also find the kind of book you’re looking for at GTY or Ligonier.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

The Mailbag: Help! Our ladies’ prayer meeting is a disaster!

06 Monday Aug 2018

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I am married to a pastor of a small SBC church. Every Sunday evening I have a 30-minute prayer time for the ladies of the church. It feels like a disaster! Women ramble on and on with “prayer requests” that really seem to be either gossip or current news events. When it comes time to actually pray, I’m the one who is praying and everyone else is completely silent. Recently, the women were so out of control with talking that they didn’t even notice when I said it was time to pray, so I canceled the prayer meeting until further notice.

I know praying together as sisters couldn’t be a bad thing, but what do I do if it seems like no one else is actually praying? Am I giving up too soon? And just to be clear I’ve tried different “formulas” for the meeting (having specific scriptures that we pray, having a specific theme for the prayer, etc.).

Oh dear sister, I’m so sorry for your frustration! I have led a few ladies’ prayer groups myself, and I know it isn’t easy. If I could offer you one word of encouragement, though – your ladies are showing up! One of my dilemmas was having ladies who didn’t see prayer as important enough to even come to a prayer meeting. You’ve got them there – that’s a huge hurdle that’s out of your way.

But once you’ve got them there, what do you do with this gaggle of gals? Let’s see if we can figure that out together.

A few things I’m surmising from your e-mail:

First, I’m guessing you’re a sweet, younger lady and that at least some of the ladies in your group are 10+ years older than you are. (Even if I’m wrong, I’m going to go with this for a minute because there are probably some ladies reading this who are in that dynamic.)

Trying to lead ladies who are older than you are can be intimidating, especially when you have the added pressure of your husband being the pastor – you want to reflect well upon him and not be the cause of any issues he would have to deal with. If your personality is very easy going and less assertive, that’s going to add to the challenge and result in things like the ladies ignoring you when you say it’s time to start praying.

Another dynamic that’s probably affecting your group is that at least some of the ladies are there mainly because you’re the pastor’s wife, and they either feel a sense of duty to be there or they want to support you with their presence because they love you, or both. Neither of which are bad things, because it’s getting them to show up (and, hey, a little love and support never hurts, right?). But it may mean that prayer isn’t the primary reason some of them are there.

The way you describe the ladies’ talking, behavior, and “prayer requests” leads me to believe that they probably don’t know how to pray in a corporate prayer meeting, especially one that’s not an “organ recital” (all the prayer requests revolve around people who are sick, having surgery, etc.). Sadly, this is pretty typical for SBC churches in my experience.

The extensive conversing may also signal that these ladies are starved for meaningful fellowship with one another.

So taking all of that into consideration, here are a few thoughts I had:

🙏 I think taking a hiatus was a good idea. It will give you time to regroup and reorganize your approach. My counsel would be that as long as you have ladies who are willing to attend, it’s too soon to give up (assuming, of course, that your husband is in agreement with that).

🙏 Set aside a block of time to talk this through with your husband and ask his advice. Just by virtue of being a man, he has a different perspective than you do, and probably has some helpful ideas and suggestions. As your pastor, he likely has additional insight on the ladies in your group, as well as some leadership strategies and experiences that could be beneficial to you.

🙏 When you start the group up again, you might want to consider, if it’s possible, having your husband lead for a couple of months. It’s just a fact of life that people act differently around pastors than they do around others. My guess is that your ladies will sit quietly and attentively for your husband. If you can develop that habit in them over the course of a couple of months, it will be easier for you to step in with more confidence and assertiveness when you resume leading the group.

🙏 Find an older godly lady who has experience teaching and leading women’s classes and ask her to mentor you. 

🙏 If that older godly lady is one of your church members, and you and she are both willing, maybe it would work for her to lead the group for, say, six months to a year while you attend as a participant. That could be helpful in two ways: a) You could learn by observing her leadership, and, b) You could model for the other ladies what it should look like to be a participant in this group, and they could learn from your example.

🙏 It sounds like these ladies need to be discipled regarding what prayer is and how to do it. Instead of immediately diving back into praying when you start the group back up, consider taking a few months to study prayer together first. The day I received your e-mail, 9Marks introduced their new book on prayer called Prayer: How Praying Together Shapes The Church. I haven’t read it (it’s in pre-release right now), but from the description, it sounds like it could be a good book to go through with your ladies. You’re also welcome to use any of my articles on prayer (I’d recommend this one and this one in particular.) And be sure to check the bookstores at GTY and Ligonier.

🙏 It also sounds like your ladies need more structure and guidance. One thing you might want to do is dispense with the verbal sharing of prayer requests as it’s traditionally done and restructure that aspect of the meeting. There are several different ways you can do this:

⇒ You decide the prayer focus (praying for the lost, missionaries, revival, an upcoming church event, etc.) for each week. Write down specific things to pray for – nearly verbatim, if you have to – on an index card or piece of paper and hand one to each lady as she comes in. For example, if you’re praying for missionaries, give the name of the missionary and a few needs he has.

⇒ Homework assignments. At the end of each meeting, tell the ladies what the prayer focus will be for the next week, give each one a card with a different aspect of that topic, ask her to be praying about it during the week and to come prepared to pray aloud about it at the next meeting. For example, if you’re going to be praying about VBS next week, the cards might say things like leaders, teachers, students, gospel presentation, safety, etc.

⇒ “Conversation prayer“. This works really well with children and people who are inexperienced with corporate prayer. Basically, what you’re doing is replacing prayer request time with praying for the request as it’s mentioned. You open with a brief prayer. After that, the floor is open for anyone to pray about anything they would ordinarily have mentioned as a prayer request. The only catch is, they have to keep it to three sentences, max (You’ll want to stress this rule and remind them of it often). This keeps the prayer time from being dominated by long-winded people, and it introduces an idea others can build on in prayer which encourages more people to participate. Additionally, it takes the pressure off of those who are nervous about praying out loud. For example, one person might pray, “Lord, please comfort and strengthen Sally in the death of her husband,” which might prompt the next person to pray, “Please provide for her material needs now that she’s without George’s income,” and the next: “Please show us ways we can minister to Sally.” There are going to be long silences at first. That’s OK. Wait it out. When it’s time to wrap up, you lead the closing prayer.

⇒ Guided conversation prayer. Same as conversation prayer, but more structured. You choose a few areas of prayer focus and let the ladies know what they are before the prayer time begins. Open in prayer, introducing the first topic. The floor is now open for anyone to pray up to three sentences on that topic (and, of course, people can pray more than once if they want to, but only three sentences at a time). When it’s time to move on, announce the next topic or pray a brief prayer introducing it.

⇒ Small group prayer. If you have enough people, break them into groups of 2-4, and assign each group a topic to pray about. When the groups start getting quiet, hand them another topic to pray about. (Be sure you’re giving them plenty of time to pray, though. I’ve been in prayer meetings using this method where the leader hops from one topic to the next so fast that the first person in the group doesn’t even finish praying before the topic is changed.) For a 30 minute meeting and groups of 2-4, I’d recommend no more than 3-4 topics for each group.

🙏 If you think lack of fellowship might be a factor in the ladies’ behavior, there is nothing wrong with making the last “prayer meeting” of each month a low key fellowship – a “three weeks on, one week off” kind of thing – where they have the unprogrammed space to just sit and talk (and snack – gotta have snacks!). Fellowship is vital to the life of the church, and, believe me, as they get to know each other better and bear one another’s burdens, they will bring more things to the table to pray about during the three weeks of prayer meetings.

🙏 Most importantly, you pray. Pray for patience and confidence as you lead. Pray for each of the ladies in your group. Pray that God will grow them in maturity in prayer. Pray that He will help everyone stay focused. Pray that those who are timid will be emboldened and that God will rein in those who have a tendency to dominate. Prayer is an area of spiritual growth, and only God can produce that growth. Ask Him to.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.