Tag: Bible Study

Bible Study

You Have What it Takes to Lead a BIBLE Study?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published February 1, 2019

I am so sick of women’s ministry/discipleship/”Bible” study that centers around narcissistic navel-gazing, I could vomit. My hurts, my feelings, my opinions, my self image.

Newsflash- You’re not the only person on the planet who’s ever been hurt or had problems.

And wallowing in the hurt and your emotions has never been the way to heal and feel better. Healing from the hurt comes from taking your focus off yourself and placing it on Christ: studying the actual Bible, obeying His commands, walking in holiness, praying, worshiping, serving others.

These canned “Bible” studies that masquerade as teaching the Bible – maybe even have the name of a book of the Bible in the title – yet all the “study” questions are about you, your preferences, and how you feel, are doing you no favors, ladies. They are keeping you enslaved to your hurts and self idolatry so you’ll continue to buy more and more of these books. Don’t be naive. Lifeway, CBD¹, and all the major “Christian” publishers know that there’s no money to be made in telling you to study your Bible. If you study your Bible you might actually grow in Christ, learn to glorify Him instead of your own opinions, heal from your hurts, and learn to handle your problems in a biblical way. And then all these divangelistas – whose main function in life seems to be exegeting stories from their own lives and telling you all about their pain- will be out of a job because you won’t need them, their books, their DVDs, their conferences, their simulcasts, or their merch, any more.

The Christian retail machine doesn’t make money when you follow what the Bible says to do: sit under good preaching and teaching at your own church, disciple women in your own church, be discipled by godly older women in your church, serve your church, attend your church like your life depends on it (because your spiritual life does), study your Bible every day, live in obedience to Christ. 

You’re being played and you’re being used by Big Christian Retail, ladies. Stop clinging to the pretty little gilded shackles they have locked around your wrists. Break free and experience the freedom in Christ that can only come from walking faithfully with Him in His Word.

I’m no prophet, nor a son of a prophet, but sometimes I think I might have a tiny inkling of how Jeremiah felt when he said:

If I say, “I will not mention him,
or speak any more in his name,”
there is in my heart as it were a burning fire
shut up in my bones,
and I am weary with holding it in,
and I cannot.
Jeremiah 20:9

When I see the way so many professing Christian pastors, leaders, and teachers in the public eye damage the spiritual lives of their followers by adulterating God’s Word, biblical anger wells up inside me. And sometimes, the pressure gets to be too much and it finds a way to escape, like it did the other day when I tweeted the remarks above.

I hate with a holy, biblical hatred what the Christian retail machine, overall, has done to Christians, particularly Christian women, by feeding them fluff and false doctrine.

Go back and read the robust theological thoughts and writings of some of the women who helped usher in the Reformation. And then go stick your head in the door of the average women’s “Bible” study at the church down the street and listen to the teaching and comments. We didn’t get to where we are today without somebody poisoning the water hole.

So it was with no small sense of irony that two days after I had let the fire loose on Twitter, I found myself clicking – with much trepidation – on an article from Lifeway Women that popped up in my feed: You Have What It Takes to Lead a Bible Study.

It was written by a darling young lady named Mickey who made several very good points and was charming and encouraging. I’m certain she wanted the article to be helpful and edifying, and I have no points of contention with her personally. This article was a work product. It expresses Lifeway’s position, not necessarily Mickey’s personal thoughts and opinions. (I wrote for a Lifeway publication once. Believe me, if what you’ve written doesn’t match what they’re trying to convey, they edit it until it does. Which, as a business, they certainly have a right to do.)

“What might Lifeway Women think qualifies someone to lead² a Bible study?” I wondered, as I waited for the page to load. “I have what it takes? What does it take in their eyes?”

The first point of the article was to address women’s feelings of inadequacy about leading a Bible study and reassure them. Feelings. Not what the Bible says about teaching God’s Word, or the qualifications for doing so, or even the other women’s need for the teaching of Scripture. Feelings. For Lifeway, the major obstacle to overcome for a woman who’s on the fence about teaching a Bible study is her feelings of inadequacy.

And how did Lifeway address those feelings of inadequacy and offer reassurance? Again, not with Scripture (indeed, no Scriptures are quoted or even referenced in the article), but by exegeting a personal anecdote from the author’s life. “I felt inadequate too, but then I gave it a try and I was successful. So if you’re feeling inadequate to lead, just give it a try. You’ll be successful, too.” It may be an oversimplification, but that’s the take away.

If this methodology sounds familiar to you, maybe it’s because you’ve worked through one of Lifeway’s most popular women’s “Bible” studies. Generally speaking, this is the core of the majority of Lifeway’s women’s “Bible” study products: your feelings and the exegesis of personal stories from the author’s life to relate to and address those feelings.

The article went on to quote a recent Lifeway Women survey which asked women,

“What is the biggest obstacle keeping you from leading a Bible study?”

Know what the number one answer was? “I don’t feel like I know enough to lead.” (Again with the feelz.)

Is it any wonder, when, for decades now, evangelical women have been fed a steady diet of nothing but girlfriend stories that they feel inadequate to teach the Bible? Of course they feel inadequate! They don’t know their Bibles because the materials they’ve been getting from Lifeway all this time haven’t taught them the Bible. They likely know more about their favorite author than they do about Jesus. Most of them probably correctly feel inadequate because they don’t know enough to lead.

Feelings of inadequacy aren’t wrong simply because they make you feel bad. Sometimes your feelings of inadequacy are wrong because you’re neurotic or unrealistically anxious, and sometimes they’re right because you don’t have the skills to handle the task you’re attempting. We’ve all watched enough American Idol auditions to know that.

Our feelings need to be informed, molded, and submitted to the facts of God’s written Word. And what does God’s written Word have to say about whether or not you have what it takes to lead a Bible study?

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
James 3:1

Where Lifeway issues a blanket “anybody can do it” encouragement to the hundreds of women (whom Lifeway has never laid eyes on and has no idea whether or not they’re biblically qualified to teach God’s Word) reading this article – “…trust me, friend, you have what it takes, too” – the Bible says that teaching Scripture is a solemn, weighty ministry fraught with the burden of responsibility of imparting God’s Word correctly. And precisely because of that, “not many” should become teachers.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
2 Timothy 2:15

What does Lifeway think qualifies someone to lead a Bible study? “…a willing spirit, an open heart for new friendships, and thirst for more of God.” Is that what the Bible says about qualifying for the lofty responsibility of teaching God’s Word? No. The Bible says we need to work hard at studying, understanding, and rightly handling God’s Word so that we don’t end up twisting it or teaching something that conflicts with it. We need to be able to stand before God unashamed to say, “I worked hard, and studied long, and did my very best to teach your Word accurately.”

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.
2 Timothy 2:24-25a

Lifeway seems to think getting over your feelings of inadequacy means you have what it takes to lead a Bible study. The Bible says there’s a much higher standard. Are you even able to teach – to accurately explain what God’s Word says, in a way women can understand, and help them correctly apply it to their lives? Are you quarrelsome? Kind? Able to endure evil patiently? Do you know and can you handle Scripture well enough to correct someone who makes an unbiblical argument, and can you do it gently?

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5

Lifeway doesn’t address the character needed to teach the Bible. The Bible says you’re to be mature and behave reverently, you’re not to gossip or slander others, and you’re not be controlled by alcohol (or anything else, for that matter).

While one of Lifeway’s tips for leading a small group is to choose a study that fits the “interests, preferences, and characteristics” of the women in your group, the Bible doesn’t really care what they’re interested in or prefer to learn. It prescribes what they need to learn. Do you know “what is good” according to Scripture? You have to know that if you’re going to teach it. And you also have to know what the Bible says about wives loving and submitting to their husbands, loving their children, being self-controlled, kind, and pure, and working at home, if you’re going to teach those things.

 The Bible says you have to know your Bible to teach a women’s Bible study. You have to have certain skills, abilities, and character traits. Not just anybody can do it. Not just anybody should do it.

Do you have what it takes to lead a Bible study? If you want to know, don’t check with Lifeway. Check your Bible.

¹Christianbook.com – It used to be called Christian Book Distributors. Old habits die hard. :0)

Additional Resources:

Bible Studies

Basic Training: Bible Studies and Sermons

²McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word
After I finished writing You Have What it Takes to Lead a BIBLE Study? I noticed that the Lifeway article exclusively used the phrase “lead a Bible study” rather than “teach a Bible study.” This is likely due to the fact that many Lifeway studies do not require the leader to teach so much as to play a DVD of a popular Lifeway author teaching. It is probably also intentional – to encourage women to lead without that pesky little need to be biblically qualified to teach. However, most people still rightly understand “leading a Bible study” to mean teaching the Bible, thus the survey response of “I don’t feel like I know enough to lead,” and Mickey’s own fear that “I don’t know enough about the Bible to lead…”. You don’t need to know much about the Bible to push a button on a DVD player. McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word addresses this harmful practice and the need for the church to have trained teachers teaching the Bible.

4 Ways We’re Getting Women’s Discipleship Wrong, and How We Can Get it Right!

The Mailbag: “We need to stop relying on canned studies,” doesn’t mean, “We need to rely on doctrinally sound canned studies.”.

Parenting

12 Techniques for Raising Bible-Saturated Kids

Michelle Lesley

Originally Published April 15, 2015

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Phew. That’s a pretty tall order, isn’t it? God may have said this through Moses to Old Testament Israel, but His words are just as relevant for 21st century Christian parents. God wants our children immersed in His Word as they go about their daily lives. Ephesians 6:4 reminds fathers that they are to bring their children up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” and as moms, we have the joy of supporting our husbands in that venture by bringing Scripture and prayer to bear on all those little daily “walk by the way” moments. But how? Here are some practical ways I’ve discovered for capturing those teachable moments and pouring God’s Word into them.

Capture those teachable moments with your kids and pour God’s Word into them!

1.
Set an example.

Be faithful to your own Bible study and prayer time. Let your children “catch you in the act” from time to time. Share with them what you’re learning from God’s Word, things you’re praying about, things you’ve asked God to forgive you for, etc.

2.
Train your children to have their own
daily Bible study time.

You might be surprised at how early you can start developing this godly habit in your child. With an infant, you might simply take a few minutes of her morning feeding to read aloud from your Bible and pray. With a toddler, you can regularly set aside five or ten minutes (when she’s not tired or hungry) for her to sit down and look at pictures in a children’s Bible, maybe while you’re sitting nearby with your own Bible, modeling for her. As children get a little older and can read, you can set aside a block of time before their bedtime for individual Bible study and prayer. When they’re very small, children aren’t going to understand much from the Bible (although they will surprise you sometimes!), but they will still be absorbing some valuable things: the Bible is an important book, God is the top priority in my family, and God and His Word should be preeminent in my life.

3.
Establish a regular time of family worship at home.

If your husband is a believer, be careful not to usurp his leadership in this area. It is ultimately His responsibility to lead his family in worship. Help each other think of ways to make your family worship time age appropriate for the children, and support your husband as he teaches God’s Word. Also, understand that with children comes chaos. (My four children who are still at home range in age from 11 to 19, and I still have to remind them to quiet down and stay on track during family worship.) It’s going to happen. Just tuck and roll and don’t give up.

4.
Sing.

Who cares if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket? God doesn’t, that’s for sure. Sing some hymns while you’re washing the dishes. Sing along with some worship music (doctrinally sound, of course) in the car. Music is a great way to get God’s truths into your child’s heart and mind.

Music is a great way to get God’s truths into your child’s heart and mind.

5.
Conversation Prayer

During our family worship time, we used to go around and share prayer requests, then one or two people would pray. We found that the children were either forgetting the prayer requests or we would have to spend time writing them down. So now we often do what we have dubbed “conversation prayer”. One parent will say a brief opening prayer, and then the “floor is open” for anyone to say a (or several) one or two sentence prayer about whatever is on his heart (“Please help me do well on my math test tomorrow,” or “Lord, please save Grandmamma.”). When it seems like everyone is finished, the other parent says a closing prayer.

6.
What is God up to?

Sometimes it’s hard for children (and even adults) to recognize and remember the ways God is answering prayers and working in their lives. When our children were smaller, I put up a piece of posterboard on the wall of the breakfast room with the title “What is God up to?” at the top. Whenever God answered something we had been praying about, provided for us, moved in our lives in some way, or blessed us, we made a little note about it, along with the date. It had big things – like my daughter getting saved – as well as little things – like my son finally learning to tie his shoes. It helped my children to recognize God’s sovereignty over all areas of our lives, that He does answer prayer, and that He gets the glory for everything.

Help your children recognize God’s sovereignty over all areas of our lives, that He does answer prayer, and that He gets the glory for everything.

7.
Let’s pray about this.

Your children are going to struggle with things. They’re going to have times of rejoicing and times of sorrow. There will be times when they have disobeyed and need to repent of their sin. What better opportunities to teach them to take everything to God in prayer? Teach them how to ask God for help when something is too hard. Teach them to thank God for blessing them and ask Him to comfort them when they’re sad. Show them how to ask God for forgiveness when they’ve done wrong.

8.
Sprinkle life with Scripture.

(In order to do this, you’re going to have to know Scripture, so be sure to be faithful to your own study of God’s Word.) When you see a beautiful sunset, talk about how God created the sun and moon. When your child is kind to someone, praise him and tell him God wants us to be kind to others. When you discipline him, show him his sin from Scripture, and talk about repentance and God’s forgiveness.

9.
Memorize Scripture together.

There is a wonderfully wide variety of Scripture memory resources out there. My children were all involved in a Scripture memory program at church when they were small, and we worked on their memory verses together at home. Our home schooling curriculum, at the kindergarten level, had a 26 verse Scripture memory program in which we memorized a verse beginning with each letter of the alphabet. Seeds Kids Worship is a fantastic program with word for word Scripture songs and other great resources. There are even apps that can help. And you can always make up your own fun programs, songs, and contests to help the whole family memorize God’s Word.

10.
Ask questions.

“Would God be pleased with the way you’re acting? How do you know?” “What does the Bible say about the way we should treat each other?” “What does the Bible say about _____?” Questions like these get your children thinking. They take your children from simply reading and hearing God’s Word to applying Scripture to their lives and recognizing that they must submit to it.

Take your children from simply reading and hearing God’s Word to applying Scripture to their lives and recognizing that they must submit to it.

11.
The Gratitude Game

Forget the tablets and the radio. This is a great way to harness that down time in the car (or anywhere else) and use it to teach your kids about prayer and thankfulness. It’s kind of like playing “I Spy.” Just look out the window and take turns thanking God for what you see: “Thank You, God, for making birds.” “Thank You for ice cream.” “Thank You for police officers who help us.” Or pray for people as you pass by various buildings. “God, please help the sick people in that hospital…help the pastor of that church do a good job of preaching Your Word…provide homes for the people in that shelter…” We also made it a habit to pray for victims of accidents or tragedies whenever we saw an ambulance or fire truck.

12.
Kiddievangelism

Our kids need to see us sharing the gospel with people as a normal part of everyday life, and we need to explain to them why it’s so important. There’s an easy way to get your kids personally involved, too, especially when they’re small: tracts. Get some doctrinally sound tracts (my favorites are from Bezeugen) and let your child leave one in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, on the table when you leave McDonald’s, or hand one to the cashier at the store. I’ve had people turn me down when I offer them a tract, but who’s going to refuse an adorable three year old? Get them started on a lifelong habit of sharing the gospel wherever they go.

Get your children started on a lifelong habit of sharing the gospel wherever they go.

 

As Christian parents it’s our responsibility before God to train our children in the Scriptures, prayer, and godliness. If we slow down and ask God to direct us, He will show us all kinds of ways we can teach them diligently to our children, when we sit in our houses, and when we walk by the way, and when we lie down, and when we rise.

What are some fun or unique ways you’ve found
to pour God’s Word into your children’s everyday lives?

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Abuse: Grounds for divorce?… Life Groups… The women at Jesus’ tomb were NOT pastors/preachers… SBC 2026)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Is physical or sexual spousal or child abuse biblical grounds for divorce in a Christian marriage?

I hate that this question even needs to be addressed, because I wish abuse didn’t exist and no one needed this question answered.

This question was posed by a friend (who’s not in this situation, herself) on social media recently. Here’s how I answered (slightly edited):

I think this is why God only specified two objective criteria for biblical divorce – adultery and abandonment. These are much easier to measure objectively than abuse. Either someone has committed adultery or he has not. Either someone is still living in the home or he is not.

Here’s how I generally counsel Christian women in situations of spousal or child abuse (And just for the record for anyone else reading this, I’m talking about real physical or sexual abuse. “He hurt my feelings,” may be wrong or sinful, but it isn’t abuse in this context.)

  1. Anyone who lives in habitual, unrepentant sin is not a Christian, regardless of what he claims or believes himself to be (see 1 John 1:5-10, 2:3-6, 3:4-10, 5:3, Matthew 7:16-23). So, right off the bat, in cases of abuse, we’re almost certainly not dealing with a marriage in which both spouses are Christians.
  2. Step one in cases of abuse is ALWAYS to get yourself and your children to a safe place. Many abused Christian women are hesitant to do this because they are confusing or conflating getting somewhere safe with initiating a sinful divorce. That is NOT the case, and it is sad that many Christian women have to be taught that at the worst time of their lives. Getting to a safe place DOES NOT EQUAL initiating a sinful divorce. I hope everyone reading this is clear on that.
  3. The next step is to call law enforcement, report the abuse, and follow through with pressing charges, a restraining order, etc. If the abuser is in jail or prohibited from being within a certain distance of you, he has, by default, as a consequence of his own sinful behavior, abandoned you, which meets the 1 Corinthians 7:15 criterion. The government (which is to punish lawbreakers, and to which you are to submit) has taken that decision out of your hands. That is God’s grace to you.
  4. Next, assuming you’re a member of a doctrinally sound church, set up an appointment with your pastor (or a certified biblical counselor, if not) for counsel as to whether or not you should pursue a divorce. Different states have different laws, and it’s my understanding that in some states, the only way to protect yourself, your children, and your finances is via a legal divorce. Your pastor or local biblical counselor will have the resources to guide you about your specific situation.

If the husband gets genuinely saved while in jail or separated, reconciliation should be considered, as God’s preference is against divorce and for reconciliation, but that MUST be pursued with great care, much prayer, a copious amount of time and fruit-bearing, and extensive pastoral/biblical counseling. (I’ve addressed this at greater length here.)

So, all of that to say, I strongly recommend against making a blanket statement about whether or not divorce is biblically permissible in cases like abuse, on which the Bible is silent. Rather, it’s best to get to safety and work through your unique situation in the context of the local church and pastoral counsel, since that is God’s plan for us (on a case by case basis) for handling things like this.

Additional Resources:

The Mailbag: Is it all right for a Christian to get divorced?

The Mailbag: Must I reconcile with my abusive ex-husband?

From Victimhood to Victory: Biblically Helping Abused Women Heal

What are your thoughts on churches that have abandoned Bible study groups for Life Groups? Where the Life Group may or may not have a meal, then go over the sermon from Sunday morning?

In the interest of full disclosure, I lead a Life Group of women at my own church. We not only review the sermon, but also the Sunday School lesson, everyone’s personal Bible study, prayer requests and answers, evangelism, and Scripture memorization, plus any questions anyone has, or “I just need to talk,” issues. We have not “abandoned” Bible study groups, though. Our Sunday School classes are “Bible study groups,” plus I teach on a biblical topic at our monthly women’s meeting.

If your pastor is preaching the Word, and your group is reviewing, discussing, and applying the sermon, is that not Bible study?

I don’t ask that to be sassy or snarky at all, I’m asking because there are a variety of different factors at play here:

Is the pastor actually carrying out his 2 Timothy 4:1-2 mandate to “preach the Word” or are these groups discussing a sermon made up of illustrations, self help tips, and personal anecdotes from the pastor’s life?

When you say the church has “abandoned Bible study groups,” are you including Sunday School in that, or are you only talking about Bible study groups outside of Sunday School and the worship service?

Sunday School and Bible study groups are a relatively recent invention. The church survived and thrived without them for centuries.

What was the pastor’s motivation for replacing Bible study groups with sermon discussion groups?

I think this should probably be evaluated on a case by case basis. There are some situations in which it could be perfectly fine and other situations in which it could signal a theological or ecclesiological problem.

How can you say women can’t be pastors or preach to men? What about Mary and the women at Jesus’ tomb who went and preached to the disciples? What about the Great Commission? We’re all supposed to preach the gospel!

It seems like every time I say something on social media about God’s prohibition against women “pastoring,” preaching, teaching the Bible to, or exercising authority over men in the gathering of the church body, several people pop off with some version of one or both of these unbiblical arguments. The short answer is…

  • You’re conflating evangelism with pastoring and preaching. Evangelism is sharing the gospel with lost people outside the church, which all Christians are commanded to do. Pastoring and preaching is biblical instruction to saved people inside the church, which God has restricted to biblically qualified men. Evangelism and pastoring/preaching are two completely different, separate things. We have to keep our biblical categories straight.
  • Neither Mary, nor any of the other women at the tomb, were preaching or pastoring in the church. The church did not even exist at the time of Jesus’ resurrection. What these women did could barely even be compared to evangelism. All they did -in a private gathering of friends, not the church- was a) give eyewitness testimony to what they had seen at the tomb, and b) pass along a message from Jesus of where He wanted the disciples to meet Him.
  • The account of the women at Jesus’ tomb is a DEscriptive passage (narrative; it simply tells us what happened), not a PREscriptive passage (commands/instructions for Christians to follow). Descriptive passages may support, but never override prescriptive passages.
  • God does not contradict Himself or instruct people to sin. 

    God clearly tells us in 1 Timothy 2:11-3:7 (a prescriptive passage), that women are not to pastor, preach, teach the Bible to, or exercise authority over men in the gathering of the Body. If the gospel accounts of the women at the tomb mean that women can do those things in the gathering of the Body, then God has contradicted Himself, is a liar, and has ceased to be God.

    Furthermore, in light of God’s clear command in 1 Timothy, if what these women did was the same as pastoring or preaching to men, then God had the angel at the tomb instruct the women to sin by “preaching to men”.

For the longer answer…

Additional Resources:

Rock Your Role: Oh No She Di-int! Priscilla Didn’t Preach, Deborah Didn’t Dominate, and Esther Wasn’t an Egalitarian

Women Preaching the Gospel? at A Word Fitly Spoken

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit? (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism

Sinners and False Teachers: The Women Who “Pastor” and Preach

Rock Your Role articles

What are the issues I should be aware of at the Southern Baptist Convention this year?

Michelle, will I see you at the Convention?

This year’s annual meeting will take place June 8-9 in Orlando, Florida. Although I’d love to be there, unless someone walks up to me and hands me plane tickets and hotel reservations within the next two weeks, it’s just not in our family budget for me to attend.

If you’ll be attending as a messenger, I would encourage you to go to the Center for Baptist Leadership website and drown yourself in their articles and “Countdown to Orlando” podcast episodes so you’ll be up to speed on all the latest issues and details.

Two major things I would offer some direction on:

Vote for Willy Rice for president. He is the conservative candidate and our best shot at steering the ship back to biblical waters.

Vote FOR Dr. Albert Mohler’s “Truth and Unity” amendment to the constitution and FOR the suspension of standing rule 6 so the amendment can be debated and considered this year.

There will be numerous ancillary events going on before and during the Convention. One of these is the annual Pastors’ Conference, which any registered messenger or guest may attend.

There will also be a number of women’s (and other) events.

As I write this, there seems to be no information publicly available regarding who will be speaking at the Pastors’ Wives & Women in Ministry Conference (Monday, June 8). Call me paranoid, but it’s less than two weeks until this event, and I find this lack of information suspect, especially since I’ve run into this same brick wall over the past few years when searching for speaker information about this and other women’s events at the Convention. This event is purported to be part of the aforementioned Pastors’ Conference, but I don’t see it mentioned anywhere on the Pastors’ Conference website. (If any of my readers know who will be speaking, please let me know. Please note the exact title, date, and time of this event as there are several different events this one might be confused with. This is not the Women’s Expo or the Ministers’ Wives Luncheon {see below}, or the aforementioned Pastors’ Conference.)

The SBC Ministers’ Wives Luncheon (Tuesday, June 9) will be headlined by Amy Hannon, an Arkansas pastor’s wife who has created her own hospitality brand (think: Martha Stewart or Joanna Gaines). I’ve never heard of her before, but after poking around for a few minutes, I’m hoping she might be doctrinally sound. She has a very small digital footprint, I found no obvious connections with false teachers, and I appreciated that a couple of times on her website, regarding speaking engagements, she says she speaks “to women”. If you’re familiar with Amy, let me know if she’s the real deal!

You will probably find the Annual Meeting website and app to be helpful both prior to and at the Convention.

Remember, the resolutions committee can change resolutions any way they like – even to mean the opposite of what the person who wrote and submitted the resolution intended it to mean. So read resolutions carefully before voting, and make sure you understand all other motions, proposals, etc., before voting.

Have fun, but if you’re there as a messenger, please do the duty your church sent you to do and be in the room and vote when votes are taken.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: God saved me out of a false “church” … what do I do now?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published May 10, 2021

God recently saved me out of __________ “church” / religion. I’m not sure what to do next. I’m scared to start looking for a new church because I don’t know what to look for in a good church, and I’m afraid I’ll choose another bad one. And how do I “do” this whole Christianity thing, anyway?

I’ve received some variant of this question dozens of times, and it makes me so happy every time I do. God is still saving people, y’all! Doesn’t that thought just encourage your socks off and fill you with joy?

Whether it’s someone coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, Mormonism, Catholicism, a liberal/progressive “church,” or the New Age, walking through the doors of biblical Christianity is thrilling, but can also be a bit daunting.

As someone who has been in church since my parents brought me home from the hospital, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around being new to the church and the things of Christ as an adult. It must be like landing on Mars, or at least in a foreign country where you don’t know the customs and don’t really speak the language.

When you’re doing something new, it’s always best to start by reading the directions. So here are a few basic directions that might be of help to you if you find yourself newly saved out of an unbiblical system and you’re not quite sure what to do next:

1.
Believe the biblical gospel.

The first priority is making sure you understand and believe the biblical gospel. I know you’re saying you’re saved, but, considering your background and my limited knowledge of where you are spiritually, and considering the fact that sooooo many churches and professing Christians do not know or rightly teach the gospel according to Scripture, I’m not sure what you’ve been told about how to be saved, or “become a Jesus follower,” or however it was put to you, but click here for the truth:

What must I do to be saved?

I strongly urge you – even if you’re 100% positive you’re saved – to take your time and slowly and prayerfully work your way through everything on this page to make sure you understand and believe what the Bible says about how to be saved.

Once you’ve done that, if you still need some reassurance that you’re saved, you might want to work your way through my Bible study Am I Really Saved?: A First John Check-Up.

There are two reasons nailing down your belief in the biblical gospel is the first and most important priority:

  1. If you’re not genuinely saved, you need to be, or you’ll die in your sins and spend an eternity in Hell. Even if you think you’re a Christian.
  2. If you’re not saved, you’re not going to understand or accept the things of Christ, and pretty much everything in Christianity and the church is going to rub you the wrong way. First Corinthians 2:14 says: The natural [unsaved] person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

2.
Find a church.

The next most important thing is getting you into a doctrinally sound church where you can be taught God’s Word properly.

For Christians, membership in and faithful attendance at a doctrinally sound church is not optional, and is non-negotiable. The Bible knows nothing of “Lone Ranger” Christians. For 2000 years, even in places of harshest persecution, like first century Rome or current day North Korea, the church has found a way to meet together, even if it had to be in secret.

And yes, this means physically attending worship service and other gatherings (not watching it online), assuming you are physically/medically able to do so, and a decent church within achievable driving distance is open. (If not, you’ll have to find another way to meet together with fellow Christians.)

(Notice, I did not say, “If you’re not afraid to go,” or “a church that’s nearby”. There are Christians in the world today who, every time they meet together, are risking imprisonment, torture, and execution. And some of them travel for hours in very primitive modes of transportation just to meet with the church. Prayerfully consider, just between you and the Lord, if you might need to sacrifice your fear or drive a bit longer for the privilege of meeting with His people. Jesus didn’t promise us a bed of roses. He promised us a cross. It’s time to pick it up and carry it. This is what we signed on for.)

Go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Start your search for a church by reading all of the resources under What to look for in a church including all of the links contained in those resources.

When you’re finished with that, go back to the top of that page and use the search engines to find a good, solid church in your area. Personally, I would recommend starting with the Founders search engine first, then the The Master’s Seminary search engine, then the others.

When you’ve found a church, start visiting it. Set up an appointment with the pastor to ask any questions you might have. Prayerfully consider whether or not this church is a fit for you – a place where you can learn, grow, and serve. If it is, join it. If not, go back to the search engines and find another church to start visiting.

Helpful hint: You’re not going to find a perfect church. Churches are made up of imperfect saints who still sin and make mistakes. Find the best one you can and help make it better.

3.
Get plugged in.

Don’t just sneak in to the back of the sanctuary just as the Sunday morning worship service is starting and sneak back out during the final prayer.

Get invested in the life of your new church. Find a Sunday school / Bible study / small group class to join. Go to midweek services or prayer meeting. Go to fellowships and special events. Get to know people. Find a place to serve.

Be faithful in your attendance. Don’t just go only when you feel like it. Be there at least every Sunday morning unless you’re unavoidably detained. If you wanted to learn chemistry or math or underwater basket weaving, you’d show up for class, right? Well, if you want to learn and grow as a Christian, you’ve got to show up for church.

And if you ever have any questions, never be afraid to ask your pastor, elders, or teachers.

4.
Study up / Pray up

Bible study and prayer are crucial for the Christian. They help you grow, and they foster sweet fellowship with the Lord. Don’t let them loom as some big, scary, new thing that you don’t know how to do. They’re both very simple.

Prayer is simply talking to God. Tell Him what’s on your heart. Ask Him to help you and provide for you. Ask Him to help others. Thank Him for all He’s done for you. Confess your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you. You might find some of my articles on prayer or my Bible study on prayer to be helpful.

Studying your Bible isn’t as hard as it sounds, either. Start by making sure you have a good translation. Then, pick a book of the Bible. Start at chapter 1, verse 1, and make your way through the book, verse by verse until you get to the end. Then start over again with another book. A few tips:

  • Many Christians find that about a chapter a day is a good amount to study, but take your time and study the amount of Scripture that seems to be a fit for you.
  • You might want to have a notebook and pen handy for jotting down any notes or thoughts that occur to you about the text as you’re studying.
  • If you’re new to studying the Bible, I would recommend starting by reading one (or maybe all four) of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – the first four books of the New Testament). Genesis is also a good book to read as you’re getting your bearings in Bible study.
  • If you need help studying your Bible, click the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. There are lots of resources to help you learn how to study the Bible, plus all the Bible studies I’ve written. My studies are designed to help you learn how to study the Bible in a “learn by doing” sort of way. Maybe you’d like to work through one of them until you get the hang of studying your Bible on your own.

In addition to Bible study and prayer, I would suggest reading the articles in my Basic Training series. This is sort of a “Christianity 101” series of articles. If you’re new to Christianity and the church, this should help explain some of the things we do, why we do them, and the proper biblical way they should be done.

I would also recommend that women read my Rock Your Role series of articles. This series explains what the Bible says about the role of women in the church.

Welcome to the family, and may God richly bless you as you seek to grow in Him.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Holidays (Other), Parenting

Beautiful Motherhood: A Mother’s Day Bible Study

Michelle Lesley

As we look ahead to Mother’s Day,
let’s check out what the Bible has to say about mothering.
This is lesson 12 of my topical Bible study:
Imperishable Beauty- A Study of Biblical Womanhood.

Read These Selected Scriptures

Questions to Consider

1. What are some attributes or character traits of a godly mother from Proverbs 31 that we can emulate? In today’s lesson, rather than attributes to emulate, we’ll be focusing on God’s instructions to obey for mothers. We’ll examine how we’re to regard motherhood and our children, how we’re to train our children in godliness, how we’re to discipline our children out of ungodliness, and the example we’re to set for our children. Some of these instructions can also apply to childless women in their relationships with their spiritual children (i.e. younger women or children they disciple) and others. As you read over today’s passages, explain how childless women might apply some of these Scriptures.

2. Examine the first three passages (Psalm 127-Titus 2) together. What do these passages say about how we are to regard motherhood and our children? What should the attitude of our hearts be? In what sense are children a reward? How do we know that Psalm 127:3 does not mean that if you act in a way that pleases the Lord He will reward your good behavior with children? What does this verse mean? Is loving your children (Titus 2:4) simply a feeling of affection toward them? If so, why would young women need to be trained to love their children? When you finish today’s lesson, come back to Titus 2:4 and give a fully-orbed biblical definition of what it means to love your children.

3. Examine the next five passages (Proverbs 22-Ephesians 6) together. Why does God want us to train our children in godliness? Explain the phrase “in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). How does the gospel figure in to training your child? Look carefully at the three Old Testament passages. At what age should we begin training our children in godliness and the Scriptures and how long should this training continue? Is Proverbs 22:6 an iron-clad guarantee or promise from God that if we raise our children in a godly home they will definitely get saved and turn out to be godly adults? Why not? (Scroll down to the Deuteronomy 21 passage if you need help.)

To whom are the Colossians and Ephesians verses addressed? Does this mean they don’t apply to mothers or that it’s OK for mothers to provoke their children, but not fathers? If they apply to both parents, why are they addressed to fathers? How are we not to deal with our children according to these verses? What does it mean to provoke your children? Why are we not to provoke them (Colossians), and how are we to deal with them instead (Ephesians)? Compare Ephesians 6:4b to the Old Testament verses in this section. How are they similar?

3. Examine the next three passages (Proverbs 29-Deuteronomy 21) together. What is the purpose of godly discipline? What are the biblical definitions of the words “discipline” and “reproof”? Are discipline, reproof, and training the same as punishment? Why or why not? What are some of the consequences of disciplining your child? The consequences of refusing to discipline your child? According to Proverbs 13:24, what motivates someone to discipline her child? What motivates someone to refuse to discipline her child? Are “love” and “hate” simply emotional feelings in this verse or an attitude, posture, or orientation of mindset toward the child? Look closely at Deuteronomy 21:20. Is this passage most likely talking about a very young child or an older child/teenager? According to the Deuteronomy 21 passage, does godly discipline always result in an obedient son or daughter, or can there be exceptions to the rule?

Why is it important to both train your child in godly ways and discipline him out of ungodly ways? Explain how this fits into the “put off the ungodly, put on the godly” model of biblical sanctification.

4. Examine the last five passages (Deuteronomy 21-Matthew 10) together. What do these passages teach us about the godly example we need to set for our children?

Sometimes we see implicit instructions to parents in passages that explicitly teach children how to treat and regard their parents. For example, if there were a verse that said, “Children, love your parents,” we could learn from that verse that we need to act in a way (lovable) that makes it easier for our children to obey that Scripture. Considering this concept, look at the Exodus 20 and Proverbs 1 passages. If your children are to honor you, in what manner should you behave? What should your teaching be like if your children are not to forsake it and to consider it a “graceful garland” and a “pendant”?

What is the context of Ezekiel 16? To whom is the parent/child metaphor in this  passage addressed? Explain the phrase “like mother, like daughter”. Why is it important to set a good example for our children with our own behavior, and why was this a good metaphor for God to use in addressing Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him?

Examine the Deuteronomy 21 and Matthew 10 passages together. What is to be a mother’s highest priority – her relationship with her child, even the life of her child, or her love for, obedience to, and loyalty to Christ? Do you love Christ more than your child? If you had to choose between your child and Christ, who would you choose? What message does it send to our children when we show and tell them that we love Christ more than we love them? How can you demonstrate to your child that your highest love and loyalty is reserved for Christ?

Homework

Examine each of the instructions in Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Make a list of practical ways your family could put each of these instructions into practice and discuss it with your husband. Together, pick one of these practices and implement it with your children this week.

Suggested Memory Verse