Tag: Heresy

Discernment

Throwback Thursday ~ Discernment Hysteria and the God Who Wins

Michelle Lesley

Originally published April 8, 2016

There are a lot of different facets to Christianity. There’s worship. Fellowship with other Christians. Studying God’s Word alone, with our families, and with the local church. Evangelism. Serving at church. Teaching. Discipling other believers. Prayer. All of these things, and others, are vital to a healthy, growing relationship with Christ.

But things can get out of whack if we focus too much on any one of these areas to the neglect of others. Spend too much time in prayer, and you could overlook serving others. Focus on evangelism too much, and your Bible study time might suffer. It can be tricky, but it’s important that we keep a good balance in our walk with the Lord.

If you’re like me you probably have one or two areas that you’re tempted to go overboard in. My temptation is studying, particularly in the area of discernment- false doctrine and false teachers. It’s a fascinating topic, and people educated in the field of discernment and doctrine are desperately needed in the church today.

But if you spend a lot of time studying discernment –and many do- it can get pretty discouraging pretty quickly. You begin to realize just how pervasive false doctrine is and how many false teachers there are. It’s in your church, at your child’s Christian school, on your Christian radio and TV stations, in your Christian bookstore. It’s everywhere. And it’s not just the home grown heretics who spring from the soil of already apostate “churches.” We’ve also got men and women who were once trustworthy teachers and preachers of God’s Word turning traitor and joining the forces of evil at an alarming rate. They just keep coming and coming, always more and more. It’s starting to feel like Invasion of “The Body” Snatchers.

False teachers just keep coming and coming. It’s starting to feel like Invasion of “The Body” Snatchers.

I hear often from women approaching panic and frenzy over the state of the church. And I get that, because I regularly feel the same way. But for all of us, there are some great reasons to take a step back when we get overwhelmed. To breathe, to relax, and to rejoice in some good news in the midst of the heresy hurricane.

There are some great reasons to take a step back when we get overwhelmed. To breathe, to relax, and to rejoice in some good news in the midst of the heresy hurricane.

God is both sovereign and just.

And praise His name for that. Nothing, and I mean nothing, escapes His notice. He sees everything- every thought, every action. There is going to come a day of reckoning for the enemies of God. They will get exactly what they deserve, and God will be good for punishing them. When it’s all said and done, nobody’s getting away with anything, and nothing is going to slip through the cracks.

And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13

It is God’s job to preserve the church, not ours.

Thousands of years. Extreme idolatry and blasphemy. War. Exile. And yet God preserved a remnant of His people throughout the Old Testament. He preserved the church through its infancy of persecution and heresy. And He will continue to preserve His church today. Should we fight false doctrine the best we can? Yes. Will some local churches fold and apostasize? Yes. But, saving the church is way too big a job for us. Ultimately, the burden of preserving the Bride is on the Bridegroom.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:25b-27

God’s Word isn’t changing.

It doesn’t matter how loudly people scream that this sin or that sin is OK. It doesn’t matter how many people teach the most unbiblical false doctrine or how widespread its acceptance is. God’s Word is God’s Word. And God’s Word changes for no man. The Bible – not anyone’s opinion or the general consensus of sinful humans – is the standard God has issued and the rod of judgment He will wield. God’s Word isn’t going anywhere.

for
“All flesh is like grass
    and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
    and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
1 Peter 1:24-25

It doesn’t matter how many people teach the most unbiblical false doctrine or how widespread its acceptance is. God’s Word is God’s Word. And God’s Word changes for no man.

The gospel still has the power to save.

God is mightier to save than any false teacher is to deceive. Get out there and keep faithfully scattering that gospel seed and proclaiming God’s truth. A lot of people will reject it – just like they did when Jesus preached it – but some will listen and be saved. They’re worth it.

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
Isaiah 59:1

God is mightier to save than any false teacher is to deceive.

Heaven awaits.

Look around. This is all just temporary. In Heaven, there is no false doctrine. There are no false teachers. There will be no more contending for the faith. We will all finally be able to worship Christ in the splendor of His holiness with out any hint of error impeding us or infiltrating the Body.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
Revelation 21:1-3

Be encouraged my sisters, and don’t grow weary in well doing. Because God is mighty. He is still on His throne. He is still saving souls.

And hear me, and cling to this as you walk through this evil world: God wins.

Let that sink in and drive you to rejoice and worship. The devil may do his worst in the world, but God wins.

he wins

Cling to this as you walk through this evil world: God wins. Let that sink in and drive you to rejoice and worship. The devil may do his worst in the world, but GOD WINS.

Discernment

Throwback Thursday ~ Discernment: What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 22, 2016

You read that right. Throwback Thursday is on Wednesday this week.
Life doesn’t always follow our schedules. :0)

…so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…
Ephesians 4:14-15

Christians who know what discernment is have a variety of perspectives about how it should be practiced. Should we teach about false doctrine at all or just make sure our church is teaching sound doctrine? Should we name the names of false teachers or speak about them anonymously? Should we warn people away from false teachers or just pray for those false teachers privately? What’s the biblical precedent for using a stringent tone when speaking of those who teach false doctrine?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “speaking the truth in love” from Ephesians 4:15 as it pertains to speaking and writing about false doctrine and false teachers.

Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.” We’re always smilingly sweet and never say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings or could rock the boat at church.

Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.”

Are we to be kind? Yes. Are we to do our best not to hurt others? Of course. Should we be making waves over every little thing that rubs us the wrong way? Absolutely not. We are to deny ourselves, setting aside our personal preferences and, in many cases, even our own rights, to the point of laying down our lives for others.

We need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. We die *to* personal preferences. We die *for* the purity of biblical doctrine.

But we need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. And that’s where I think a lot of people get confused. We die to personal preferences. We die for the purity of biblical doctrine. The enemy is stealthily infiltrating and conquering church after church with false doctrine. We are at war. And that’s going to mean ruffling feathers, rocking the boat, and hurting feelings sometimes. Because the full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.

The full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.

But how do we war for the truth “in love”?

Well, think about the concept and practice of “love.” Love always has an object. We don’t just say, “I love.” We say, “I love my children,” or “I love peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.” Speaking the truth “in love” is not as much about our demeanor or tone of voice as it is about the object of our love. It’s our love for others that compels us to speak biblical truth. And it’s that same love for others that should drive the manner in which we speak the truth.

So when it comes to speaking the truth about false doctrine, how should we be motivated by love? And love for whom?

We love Christ– As Christians, our love for Christ should motivate everything we do. If we’re speaking truth from fleshly motives such as pride, the desire to make a name for ourselves, or the competitive drive to win an argument, everything we say can be 100% factually right and we can still be spiritually in the wrong because the motive of our heart is wrong. God isn’t a debate judge awarding us points for compelling arguments. God weighs the heart.

We love God’s word– To love Christ is to love the Bible because Scripture is literally God Himself speaking to us. Besides the cleansing of the temple, the passage in which we see Jesus’ righteous anger displayed most clearly is Matthew 23. Here, Jesus delivers a scorching rebuke to the scribes and Pharisees for twisting God’s Word and, in doing so, leading people away from the truth of Scripture. It is only natural for those of us who have the mind of Christ and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit to have that same love for God’s Word and feel righteous anger over the maligning of it.

We love the church– To love Christ is also to love His bride, the church. Christ gave his life to cleanse the church “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Seeing Christ’s bride blemished and corrupted by false doctrine should grieve us deeply and motivate us to call the church to be cleansed “by the washing of water with the word.”

We love the captives– Paul speaks of false teachers “who creep into households and capture weak women.” Sometimes, the women who follow false teachers simply don’t know any better. Often, they’re not genuinely saved. They are casualties and prisoners of war held hostage by the enemy. We are to love them enough to show them the truth of God’s Word so that “they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

We love the enemy– Every Christian was at one time an enemy of the cross. Every last one of us. Until someone loved us enough to intervene with the truth of the gospel. False teachers – those who, despite biblical correction, unrepentantly teach doctrine which is plainly refuted by Scripture – have made themselves enemies of the cross, even if they call themselves “Christian,” even if they wear the title of “pastor,” even if they’re holding a Bible in their hands and refer to it occasionally as they “teach” us.

In the same way a loving sister would not turn a blind eye and hope for the best if her sibling began using drugs and became increasingly addicted, it is not loving to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.

*It is not loving* to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.

Sometimes – just as with the drug abuser – this can be accomplished early on with a private word of correction. And sometimes – as with the addict – more extreme measures of “tough love” and intervention must be employed. But we always love them enough to desire that they come to repentance and embrace the truth.

Our love for these also drives the manner in which we speak truth to them. A good soldier would never deal with a civilian casualty in the same way he would fight off an enemy bent on waging war. Likewise, part of discernment is knowing who the enemy is (and is not) and dealing with people in a biblically appropriate way. This requires humility, wisdom, thorough proficiency with our tools and weapons, unceasing prayer, and complete dependence on and self-crucifying love for our King. We trust in Him and His Word to guide us in the wise and loving way to humbly speak His truth.

Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it?

Everything.

Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it? Everything.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Women giving eulogies… Highlighting my Bible?… Sharing resources with men… Leading a tract ministry)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

My father passed away recently, and I’ve been asked by my family to give one of several eulogies. I am saved, and I’d be very eager to share the gospel, as most of my beloved relatives & extended family are not. However, I will decline, and not go against God’s Word, if this would be an example of “teaching” both men & women. Thank you so much.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your father.

No, giving a eulogy is not a violation of Scripture for women. What God prohibits you from doing is pastoring, preaching, teaching men the Scriptures, and exercising authority over men in the context of the gathering of the church body.

A funeral is not the gathering of the church body (especially when, as you indicated, most of the people attending are lost), and a eulogy doesn’t correlate to a sermon, it correlates more closely to giving a short personal testimony. You’ll be talking about your dad, not instructing or exhorting people from the Scriptures.

Was your dad a Believer? If so, one way to share the gospel during your eulogy that might make you more comfortable would be to word the gospel in terms of your dad’s testimony. (i.e. “In 1973, Dad hit rock bottom and came to realize he was a sinner. He cussed like a sailor, he wasn’t leading his family to know the Lord, he was a liar … but then he picked up the Bible Grandma had given him so many years ago and started reading. As he read, he came across Scriptures like X, Y, and Z [read Scriptures like Romans 3:23, etc. here] ….I’m so glad Dad trusted in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ to save him, and I know he’d want you to trust Christ, too.”)

If your dad wasn’t a Believer, was there something in his life that lent itself to you becoming a Believer? If so, you could word the gospel in terms of your own testimony. (i.e. “…Dad had messed up. Again. But that led me to think about all the times in my life when I had messed up. I had sinned so many times against a holy God…. [insert the gospel via your testimony here] … and even though Dad wasn’t perfect, I’m so thankful for the way God used his life to help me understand that I needed Christ.)

What you might want to do is meet with your pastor for some counsel on this. He has undoubtedly performed a lot of funerals, both for saved people and unsaved people, and I’m sure he can give you better guidance than I can.

Additional Resources

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Rock Your Role FAQs

Rock Your Role series

You’re the first person I thought of to ask how to highlight Bible verses using specific colors. Do you have a system for this skill that you can share? I’m 61 and have never had a church that taught it.

Well, I’m honored that you thought of me! I’m almost 54 and I’ve never been in a church that taught it either. I think it’s really just an individual thing that you develop a method for on your own rather than something the church teaches.

I wish I could help you come up with a system, but I don’t use highlighters in my Bible. I did when I was younger, but I ended up highlighting so many verses it just became pointless.

(I have no idea what @faithcomedy is. I’m not recommending it, just leaving it on the pic for a photo credit.)

My husband gave me a MacArthur Study Bible for Christmas! It’s a precious gift, so I want to use it wisely.

Your husband is a keeper! I hope you gave him plenty of hugs and kisses. The MacArthur Study Bible is one of the best study Bibles out there.

I also want to learn how to study my Bible without a formal study, so I thought I would start with a few of your studies before going solo. I believe systematically highlighting what I learn will help me focus better and provide order to my efforts. Brain fog and focus are current challenges for me, so keeping things simple works best.

I hope you’ll enjoy whichever of my studies you decide to use. Studying straight from the text of Scripture is the wisest possible use of that new Bible.

My advice would be to ask your friends at church how they highlight. You can also Google something like “how to highlight my Bible”. I’m sure you’ll get lots of results. Just sift through them carefully, use what works for you, and throw out the rest.

My daily structure was shattered last year, but God used it to get my attention. Now, I’m working on re-establishing self-discipline to restore the structure as God directs me. Thank you for your time in considering my thoughts. Your assistance is greatly respected and appreciated.

You are more than welcome. I’m so encouraged to hear how God is working in your heart and life. It is my pleasure to serve you in Christ.

You write to women. I love the things you write but are they appropriate to share with men? Is it my place to share with men? I’m not talking about my husband, I have a man who is the right age to be my son, I am 62, and he randomly sends me things from teachers you have helped me learn to veer away from… but my friend has much more of an attitude of something you wrote somewhere about chewing the meat,spitting out the bones… I can’t remember exactly how you said it. Anyway he feels like sharing anything is better than sharing nothing. I am wondering if forwarding him your article is a good idea or if there is a strong male pastor who writes about discernment? I hate to send videos of John MacArthur although I’ve watched him and it’s so good. But I’m not sure if sending an hour long video is something that would capture his attention enough. He is of course accusing me of being a Pharisee😔

Thank you so much for your kind words. Hon, let me start off by saying this- if this disrespectful dude is young enough to be your son and he feels comfortable calling someone he should view as a mother figure a Pharisee, he’s not your friend. You may have some sort of relationship with him, but it’s not a friendship, at least not on his part. A younger man treating an older woman that way ought to be ashamed of himself.

While it’s admirable that you’re trying to help him, it sounds like you’ve already tried to, and he’s thrown it back in your face. Scripturally, you are under no obligation to keep going back indefinitely for what he’s dishing out. Even God the Father, Jesus, and their admonitions in Scripture don’t teach us to keep indefinitely pursuing people who have rejected biblical truth:

  • Think about Old Testament Israel. God pursued them, disciplined them, sent them prophets, performed miracles – the whole works – and He bore with them in their idolatry and disobedience for hundreds of years. But not forever. He eventually sent them into exile.
  • Remember the story of Jesus and the rich young ruler? Did Jesus chase him down and keep trying to convince him once he rejected biblical teaching from Jesus Himself? No. He let him go. What about the father of the prodigal son? Dad lets that rebel leave. (You can probably think of many more examples.)
  • Matthew 7:6: Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
  • Mark 6:11: And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave [this phrase assumes they will leave], shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.

Now, all of that being said, you’ll want to spend some time in prayer for wisdom about how much longer you should hang in there with him on this topic. It is perfectly permissible for you to say, at some point, “It seems like we are at an impasse about these teachers and it is causing contention. If you’d ever like to discuss how you can stop following these false teachers and follow some sound teachers instead, my door is always open. But until then, let’s talk about other things instead.”. Keep praying for him. This is a heart issue, not an evidence issue. God has to open his eyes to the truth before he’ll be able to see it.

In the meantime, yes, it is OK to send him my articles, but if you’re looking for a man’s discernment materials instead, you can’t go wrong with Chris Rosebrough. Check out his YouTube channel and the archives of his podcast, Fighting for the Faith.

I don’t want this question to appear on the forum, if that’s all right. Like the name and details….

This was the preface to a question a reader posed in a comment here on the blog. I certainly understand wanting to remain anonymous, but I can’t answer blog comments that way. I’m not able to. If you leave a blog comment and I publish and respond to it, your name, avatar, and comment are going to be visible to the public in the comments section of the article you commented on. And I can’t respond to your comment without publishing it. I’m sorry, that’s just the way WordPress works.

A church I previously attended is interested in funding a ministry idea I have to mail or email gospel tracts to anyone for free. They are encouraging me to lead the ministry and I don’t see how I qualify biblically being an unmarried woman. I told them I read in the Bible a Christian woman is allowed to share the gospel but a Christian man qualified as bishop or deacon should lead the ministry. They said I shouldn’t worry about being a woman leading the ministry. I could use your guidance and prayers about what I should do.

Should I work on the ministry plan and administrate the ministry? I would still find qualifying Christian men to lead the ministry through a Board of Directors/Advisors. Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.

What a fantastic ministry! I’m so glad you thought of this, and I hope it will be a blessing to many.

If your conscience prevents you from heading up this ministry, then don’t sin against your conscience by heading up this ministry.

That said, you do want to be sure your conscience is biblically informed before you base a decision on it.

The biblical prohibition is against women pastoring, preaching, teaching the Bible to men, or exercising unbiblical authority over men in the gathering of the church body. I’m guessing your hesitation is based on the “authority” aspect of that passage.

On the surface, with the limited information I have, it doesn’t sound like ordering and mailing tracts, the administrative sorts of tasks that go along with that (i.e. buying stamps, taking the mailers to the post office, etc.) and organizing those who volunteer to help, would be an authority issue. I mean, how much supervision does a man need to stick a tract into an envelope, seal it, stamp it, and address it? Are you truly “exercising authority” by sending him a list of email addresses to send e-tracts to?

However, there may be some other aspects of the situation I’m not aware of that would make authority an issue. Assuming your current church is doctrinally sound, I would suggest you set up an appointment with your pastor, lay everything out for him, and ask for his counsel and advice.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Marriage

The Mailbag: My fiance and I don’t agree on theology

Michelle Lesley

Originally published November 27, 2017

After struggling to find a solid local church, I finally found one that’s gospel-centered. I have been fellowshipping there for close to 6 months now and am planning to pursue membership soon. My fiancé is a godly man, but he lives in another town, so he fellowships and serves in a church which he knows has some unbiblical doctrinal issues I won’t compromise on. After our wedding, we plan to live in the town he currently resides in. There are no Bible believing churches around (all are prosperity gospel churches). I am confused because I am not ready to listen to unsound teaching and later bring up my children in a community I don’t agree with theologically.

That’s such a difficult dilemma to be caught in, and I certainly do sympathize. An engagement period should be a joyful time of planning your wedding and your subsequent life together, not agonizing over major disagreements.

That said, it is good that you recognized this problem before the wedding rather than after, and I would strongly encourage you not to move ahead with the marriage unless and until the two of you have come to a biblical agreement on the matter.

Marriage can be challenging even when you agree on all the important stuff. But when you staunchly disagree on what should be the most important issue in your marriage – Christ, His Word, and His church – it can be devastating. Even if you think you are spiritually mature enough to work through the issue and remain committed to your vows, your husband might not be, and could decide he’d rather give up on the marriage than continue to struggle.

There are a couple of Scripture passages I’d encourage you to take a look at as you continue to work through this dilemma:

2 Corinthians 6:14-18: Though verse 14 of this passage clearly says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers,” (You said your fiancé was a godly man, so I’m assuming he’s a Believer.) and though the context of this passage is more broadly about the church yoking with unbelievers than it is about marriage, there are still some important applications to your situation.

Get a good picture in your mind of two oxen being yoked together to pull a plow or wagon, because that’s the image the Holy Spirit is giving us in this passage. Even if you’re both oxen (i.e. both Believers) what’s going to happen if you’re pulling one direction and your husband is pulling the other direction? Or if you’re pulling one direction and he digs his hooves in and refuses to budge? To plow rightly, you’ve got to be pulling in the same direction together. What would happen if you yoked a full grown ox with a small calf? Even if you’re pulling the same direction, that yoke is going to rub one or both of you raw, cause blisters, etc. Prayerfully think about the words “yoked,” “partnership,” “fellowship,” “accord,” “share,” and “agreement” in this passage in light of the spiritual differences between you and your fiancé.

Ephesians 5:22-33: Examine what this passage calls you to in your role as a wife: Submit to your husband. Respect your husband. Already you have an issue because when it comes to your husband requiring you to do something ungodly (such as attend and raise your children in a heretical “church”) you, as a Believer, must “obey God rather than men.”

Now examine the role this passage calls your husband to. Is he giving himself up for you as Christ did for the church in order to make sure you grow and flourish in sound doctrine in your relationship with the Lord? (v. 25-27) Is he nourishing and cherishing your sanctification? Is he loving you as his own flesh?

In addition to praying and studying the Scriptures, it would be very helpful to make an appointment with your pastor (not his) for pre-marital counseling. He can lead the two of you to talk through the issue and determine whether or not you can resolve it in a biblical way. Your fiancé’s responses should give you a clearer picture of what to do, and if he refuses pastoral counseling, that should also be an indicator about which direction your relationship should go.

Husbands and wives do not have to agree verbatim – although it’s wonderful if they do – on every teensy tinsy molecule of doctrine or the marriage is doomed. (My husband and I have a few minor theological disagreements, but we’re in agreement about 98% of the time, and certainly on all the most important tenets of doctrine.) But heresy versus sound doctrine is not a teensy tinsy molecule of doctrine. It is a major issue that will harmfully impact your marriage and your children – in more ways than you can now imagine – for the rest of your lives. I would strongly encourage you to put the wedding on hold until this issue is resolved in a biblical way. Your love for and loyalty to Christ must take precedence over your love for and loyalty to any man:

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:26

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” 
Matthew 10:34-37

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Church, Discernment

Throwback Thursday ~ Nine Reasons Discerning Women Are Leaving Your Church

Michelle Lesley

Originally published July 24, 2015

Earlier this week, Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay, pubished a blog article entitled Six Reasons Why Women May Be Leaving Your Church. Although I am not particularly a fan of Dr. Rainer (due to his allowing materials from false teachers to be sold at LifeWay), I thought this article was a good one, and I agreed with several of the issues he raised, especially, that these issues need to be addressed by church leadership.

As a ministry wife and someone in the field of women’s ministry myself, I, too, have noticed women leaving the church. Not just women in general, but a certain subset of church-attending ladies: discerning women. While Scripture is pretty clear that we can expect women (and men) who are false converts to eventually fall away from the gathering of believers, why are godly, genuinely regenerated women who love Christ, His word, and His church, leaving their local churches?

While Scripture is pretty clear that we can expect false converts to eventually fall away, why are godly, genuinely regenerated women who love Christ, His word, and His church, leaving their local churches?

1.
Eisegetical or otherwise unbiblical preaching

Discerning women don’t want to hear pastors twist God’s word. The Bible is not about us, our problems, and making all our hopes and dreams come true. We don’t want to hear seeker-driven or Word of Faith false doctrine. We don’t need self-improvement motivational speeches or a list of life tips to follow. We want to hear a pastor rightly handle God’s word from a trustworthy translation and simply exegete the text.

2.
The worship hour has become a variety show

Skits, guest stars, movie clips, dance routines, rock concerts, elaborate sets, light shows, and smoke machines. We didn’t sign on for Saturday Night Live on Sunday. This is supposed to be church. Get rid of all that junk, turn the lights on, give us solid preaching, prayer, and some theologically sound songs we can actually sing, and maybe we’ll stick around.

We didn’t sign on for Saturday Night Live on Sunday. This is supposed to be church.

3.
Women in improper places of church leadership

The Bible could not be more clear that women are not to be pastors, instruct men in the Scriptures, or hold authority over men in other capacities in the church. If your church has a female pastor, worship leader, or elders, or if women are teaching and leading men in Sunday school, small groups, or from the platform in the worship service, or if women are heading up certain committees, departments, or ministries which place them in improper authority over men, you’re disobeying Scripture, and we don’t want to help you do that by attending your church.

4.
Children are being entertained, not trained

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of play time or crafts for younger children, but we want our children trained in the Scriptures, not entertained for a couple of hours. We want their teachers to open God’s word and read and explain it to them at a level they can understand. We want them memorizing verses, learning to pray, and demonstrating an age-appropriate comprehension of the gospel. We want them to understand that church is joyful, yet, serious, not a Jesus-laced party at Chuck E. Cheese. We need church to bolster the Scriptural training we’re giving our kids at home.

5.
Women’s “Bible” Studies

The majority (and I don’t use that term flippantly) of churches holding women’s Bible studies are using materials written by Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Joyce Meyer, Lysa TerKeurst, Sarah Young, and others who teach unbiblical ideas and false doctrine. Not minor denominational differences of opinion. Not secondary and tertiary unimportant issues that can be overlooked. False doctrine. While we long to study God’s Word with other women, discerning women will not sacrifice sound doctrine nor the integrity of Scripture to do so.

While we long to study God’s Word with other women, discerning women will not sacrifice sound doctrine nor the integrity of Scripture to do so.

6.
Ecumenism

Is your church partnering with other “churches” whose orthodoxy and/or orthopraxy are at odds with Scripture? “Churches” which approve of homosexuality or female pastors, or which hold to an unbiblical soteriology (grace plus works, baptismal regeneration, Mary as co-redemptrix with Christ, etc.)? Are you partnering with those who deny the biblical Christ altogether such as Muslims, Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hindus, Mormons, or Buddhists? Discerning women know Scripture forbids yoking ourselves to unbelievers and we want no part of it.

7.
Ageism

Look around at your pastor and staff, your lay leadership, your music team, the “face” of your church. How many of those people are over 40? Usually, discernment and spiritual maturity come through walking with the Lord over many years, yet, increasingly, by design, churches are run by twentysomething pastors, staff, and other leadership, who are often spiritually immature and/or lack the wisdom and life experience that come with age. The staff is often specifically structured this way in order to attract young people to the church. The counsel and wisdom mature, godly men and women have to offer is brushed off as old fashioned, and middle aged and older church members feel alienated and unwanted. While there are those among the twentysomething set who are godly and growing into maturity, discerning women value the wisdom and teaching of their godly elders.

8.
The “troublemaker” label

Discerning women who see unbiblical things happening in their churches and stand up for what God’s Word says about biblical ecclesiology and teaching are often vilified and labeled as troublemakers. We are called haters, threats to unity, complainers, gossips, negative, and a myriad of other scornful names. All this for wanting things done according to Scripture. Can you blame us for shaking the dust off our high heels and leaving?

Discerning women are often vilified and labeled as troublemakers. Can you blame us for shaking the dust off our high heels and leaving?

9.
Spineless or stiff-necked pastors

Discerning women have little respect for, and find themselves unable to submit to the authority of pastors who see people in their churches acting overtly sinful or propagating false teaching yet are so afraid of confrontation that they will not set things right. By the same token, we cannot continue to attend a church in which we bring scriptural evidence of false teaching or sin to the pastor and he outright denies the biblical truth we present to him. We cannot be members of churches in which pastors will not submit to Scripture or carry out biblical mandates.

Frequently, the discerning women you see tearfully leaving your church have been there for years. Sometimes they leave your church because it was never doctrinally sound to begin with, and God has opened their eyes to this as they grow and mature in Christ. Sometimes they leave because false doctrine and unbiblical practices have crept in and taken over a church that was once a refuge of trustworthy biblical teaching. Either way, these things should not be.

Maybe it’s not that discerning women are leaving the church, but that the church is leaving them.

Maybe it’s not that discerning women are leaving the church, but that the church is leaving them.

Additional Resources

Rock Your Role articles

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