Originally published October 24, 2015
Boys. Aren’t they phenomenal? My husband and I have five boys ranging in age from 12 to 28. They’re loud, they’re gross, they’re physical, and I wouldn’t trade them for girls in a hot minute. While I love my daughter and the precious relationship we have as girls, I genuinely feel like God specially crafted me to be a mom of boys.
But boys will be boys, and girls will be girls, and sometimes, as “girls,” we moms need to think outside the pretty pink box of femininity in order to relate to, and rightly raise, these extraordinary creatures God has blessed us with. Here are six ways I’ve learned through the years to raise a Godly man.
1. Remember you’re raising boys.
Despite what you might hear from the scientific community, boys and girls are not the same except for genitalia. The way God wired them to see and relate to the world, think, react, and solve problems, is completely different from the way God wired girls to do these things. In 1 Corinthians 16:13, Paul tells the men of the church at Corinth:
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
There’s a certain way that men (and boys) act, and it’s not the same as the way girls act. God made them that way, and we must parent them like they’re boys, not anatomically male girls.
2. Make way for Daddy.
There have been so many times I have been tempted to baby my boys over bumps and bruises or give them a light scolding for disobedience. It took a lot of lip biting to stand out of the way while my husband told them to walk it off or got out the paddle for correction. But husbands know better than we do what it’s like to be a little (or big) boy. Point your boys to your husband as an example, and make sure you’re not getting in the way as they relate to each other “man to man”.
3. Tell them to take a lap.
One thing that moms often don’t realize about boys is that they are wired to need physical activity for their emotional, behavioral, and educational well being. Require them to sit still and be quiet for hours at a time, and you may have a son who gets that need for physicality out of his system by acting out behaviorally. God created boys with a need to run, throw, and hit, so honor His design by letting them.
4. Show them what a godly woman looks like.
They won’t be able to find a godly woman to marry one day if they don’t know what one looks like. Show them. Study your Bible. Pray. Repent and apologize when you sin. Submit to your husband. Manage your home well. Be hospitable. Serve your family and your church. Give them a gold standard to shoot for.
Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Proverbs 31:29
5. Instruct them, from a woman’s point of view, godly ways to honor women.
Because boys don’t think the way girls do, they need to be taught how women like to be treated by men. Boys tend to have an “every man for himself” mindset, so things like “ladies first,” opening doors for women, keeping bodily functions to themselves, and helping out around the house don’t always occur to them. They have to be proactively taught these things as a way of “serving one another in love” (Galatians 5:13).
(Oh, and by the way, they will never learn to keep bodily functions to themselves. Ever. Sorry.)
6. Realize the impact of your role in building godly men.
Samuel. Jesus. Timothy. Godly men, all. And every one of them had a godly mother – Hannah, Mary, Eunice – who raised them to love and serve God. Don’t ever think of yourself as “just a mom.” God has given mothers the enormous responsibility and privilege of pouring the gospel into little boys and raising them to godly manhood. Thank Him for that and steward your influence well.
Boys are strange and wonderful little beings. There’s nothing like being a mom of boys to drive you crazy, drive you to your knees in prayer, and drive you to rise to the challenge of being a godly mom raising godly men.
This article was originally published at Kaylene Yoder’s blog.
And for all you girl moms, be sure to check out…
8 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday ~ Six Ways to Raise a Godly Man”
I love that blog on raising Godly men. I have 3 sons and I love being a boy mom. You hit the nail on the head!! Thank you Michelle for your ministry. Your website has literally changed my life. I’m forever grateful for the truths you have taught over and over. I have become more discerning now when it comes to false teachers, thanks to you and how you always go back to the word of Truth! Have a great day!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Cristina- You’re very kind. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me. :0)
Hey Michelle, I really liked this. I think it’s full of wisdom. I shared it with my wife and my church.
Thanks, Michael! :0)
I raised 4 sons and now have 5 grandsons. I have experienced all that you have laid out here. My knees are worn out and calloused from being on them so much on behalf of all these boys. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. What you are saying here is so relevant now with all the gender confusion being taught to the young children. Thank you for your boldness. I just recently discovered your site and have learned a lot already, especially with the false teachers. May God bless your work.
Thank you, Jan. Blessings to you! :0)
These are great! Thank you for sharing!
This is a great article! I do want to disagree on one point only… I would not have married my husband if he were so rude as to share his “bodily functions” around me and we raised our son to be the same – courteous. I could not tolerate such behavior and would not want his future wife to either. Our daughter once dated a boy who would burp in front of her and she was truly sickened over it and told him so; she had never seen her Dad or brother act that way. I know I am a unicorn in saying this as it goes against the grain but i just don’t understand why it is tolerated with boys – I think it has become quite common among girls as well. I think moms should not take this lightly but raise our sons (and daughters!) to not act and sound like barn animals in front of anyone. Crude behavior is a problem. It is a matter of respecting themselves and others. I do appreciate your work as always Michelle – thank you for all you do in teaching us!