Christian Families – Page 2

The world can be a scary place if you have kids. There’s the danger of online predators luring kids into meeting them in person. Kids can take inappropriate pictures of themselves or their peers only to have those pictures spread around on the web. Porn sites abound. Drugs and alcohol seem to be easy for kids to come by. There are kidnappers and sex traffickers and child molesters lurking where you least expect them, even in the church. And, society would have us believe, every teenager is having sex.

It’s a blessing from God that there are so many ways to protect our kids. There are all kinds of software locks and blocks and filters you can put on your electronics in order to keep your kids safer when it comes to technology. There are phone apps that allow you to track your child’s location, and do it yourself drug testing kits, and breathalyzer attachments you can put on your car to keep your child from driving drunk. And then there are the more “analog” precautions of keeping the family computer in a common room, scrolling through your child’s phone log every day and asking about each call or text, banning sleepovers, and never letting her spend time alone with friends.

Certainly, we should use wisdom about the activities we let our kids take part in. Maybe some of those locks, blocks, and filters, or restrictions on places she can go and people she can see would be a wise idea for your family, especially if your child has proved herself untrustworthy with the freedom you’ve already given her.

But, increasingly, as I hear Christian parents in a near frenzy about installing multiple security measures on their electronics or the car and making all kinds of restrictions on activities with friends – not to clamp down on a rebellious child, but to prevent children from getting into trouble who have never showed any signs of rebellion – I have to wonder, what’s the foundational mindset here?

Increasingly, as I hear Christian parents in a near frenzy about preventing their children from getting into trouble, I have to wonder – what’s the foundational mindset here?
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Are we putting these safety measures in place because we’ve prayed about it and believe it’s reasonable, godly wisdom, or are we putting these safety measures in place because we’re fearful of evil and trust devices and restrictions more than we trust God and our kids? For the Christian, it’s not that it’s wrong or bad to take precautions – indeed, God doesn’t want us to be careless or foolish – it’s the motivation for the precautions we take that we need to examine.

It’s not wrong to take reasonable precautions, but are we putting these safety measures in place because we’re fearful of evil and trust devices and restrictions more than we trust God and our kids?
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Do we really trust God with our kids, or are we taking matters into our own hands out of fear?

Trusting God can be scary. We can’t see Him, hear Him, or touch Him, and He never promised us a life free from difficult or painful circumstances. It’s much easier and more comforting to our flesh to trust something tangible. Something that guarantees us it’ll do what we want it to do. It reminds me of an event that took place toward the end of King Asa’s life in 2 Chronicles 16.

Asa was one of the good kings of Judah. He “did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God. He took away the foreign altars and the high places and broke down the pillars and cut down the Asherim and commanded Judah to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, and to keep the law and the commandment.” (2 Chronicles 14:2-4) But one day, Baasha, king of Israel, came up against Judah. Did Asa cry out to the Lord, trusting Him to help, as he had years before when the Ethiopian army came out against him? No. Asa’s response was to gather up a truckload of silver and gold from the palace and the temple and bribe the king of Syria to break his covenant with Israel and attack them. Instead of fully trusting in the Lord and seeking His help and guidance, Asa took matters into his own hands and attempted to protect Judah with his own strength.

We love our children. We don’t want to see them hurt or fall into sin. We want to do whatever we can to protect them. Those are all good and godly desires of the heart. But we must make sure we are seeking and trusting God and His ways first instead of acting upon our fears and relying on our own strength.

We must make sure we are seeking and trusting God and His ways first instead of acting upon our fears and relying on our own strength.
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What are God’s ways? How does He “Father” us? How can we imitate our Heavenly Father as we parent?

1. God makes clear that He is the Father and we are the children.

Throughout Scripture, God is crystal clear that He is the one in charge. He made us, He sets the rules, He provides for us, He protects and cares for us, He knows what’s best for us. Because of all this, He instructs us, our responsibility is to be obedient children.

Do you and your children understand that you are the parent? That you are in charge and that they are to obey? That you make the rules and they are to follow them? Are the roles of parent and child clearly defined in your home with a godly authority structure in place?

2. God spells out what He expects from us.

The Bible is chock full of explicit commands. Sometimes God tells us what to do. Sometimes He tells us what not to do. Often, He explains why He is telling us to do or not do a certain thing. We can always rest assured that all of His commands are for our own good, the good of others, and the glory of God, and that they flow out of His great love for us. But God never accepts excuses for disobedience. He expects us to obey.

God never accepts excuses for disobedience. He expects us to obey.
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Have you thoughtfully and prayerfully developed rules for the online and offline activities your child participates in? Have you sat her down and lovingly explained the rules to her, answering any questions she might have? Does she have a clear understanding of what the rules are and how to obey them? Does she grasp your expectation that she will obey the rules without excuses?

3. God warns us of the consequences and dangers of disobedience and the blessings of obedience.
God doesn’t hide the unpleasant truth from us that the wages of sin is death. In fact, He gives us enough of a description of that eternal death to help us understand that we don’t want to go there. He explains that He disciplines those He loves in order to keep them away from sin and harm. But God also reminds us of the blessings of obedience – that it will help us flourish, grow in joy, and bring glory to God.

God explains that He disciplines those He loves in order to keep them away from sin and harm. But God also reminds us of the blessings of obedience.
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Have you warned your child of the consequences for disobeying your rules about her activities? Do you carefully and consistently enforce those consequences? Have you explained to her that the reason there are disciplinary consequences for her disobedience is to protect her from danger and sin? It’s neither necessary nor appropriate to go into all of the specific, terrifying details of child trafficking or the disgusting elements of pornography, but our children must have an age-appropriate understanding of the very real dangers that are out there.

And it’s just as important to explain the blessings of obedience to your child: she won’t have to live in fear or in shame, she’ll be protecting her purity for marriage, her health, or her life, her parents will trust her, and she’ll be acting in a way that’s pleasing to God. Maybe you’ll even be more inclined to give her extra privileges.

4. God doesn’t give the consequences before the sin.

Look at what Jesus said in Matthew 5:29-30 with regard to lust:

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Jesus doesn’t tell us to gouge out an eye or cut off a hand as a precaution to prevent lust that has not taken place. He tells us to respond to sin with an appropriate consequence.

God doesn’t give the consequences before the sin. Jesus doesn’t tell us to gouge out an eye or cut off a hand as a precaution to prevent lust that has not taken place. He tells us to respond to sin with an appropriate consequence.
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Is there any way you might be “maiming” your child to prevent her from committing sin – especially sin she’s never shown an interest in or temptation to? Maybe it’s time to reconsider that rule or restriction? Conversely, do you have a child who struggles with a particular sin? She may need your love and your help mortifying that sin by “gouging out the eye” of the internet or “cutting off the hand” of that destructive friendship.

5. God wants our obedience to be motivated by our love for Him.

God doesn’t want us to obey Him because we have an unbiblical view of Him as a mean old ogre and we’re terrified of Him. He also doesn’t want us to obey Him in order to get something from Him, to impress others, or just to go through the motions. God wants us to want to obey Him because we love Him.

God wants us to *want* to obey Him because we love Him.
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Have you fostered an environment of sacrificial love for your children in your home? Do you lay down what you want or how you feel to do what’s best for them? Do you invest time in them, pouring the gospel into them, teaching them God’s Word, and demonstrating that we obey Christ because we love Him? Do you take time to talk and play with your children? Do you tell them you’re proud of them? Discipline them and say no when necessary? Are you generous with hugs, “I love you’s”, and encouragement? Do you encourage them to develop their talents and skills? Having parents who love their children in a godly way doesn’t guarantee obedience, but it does encourage it.

6. God doesn’t micromanage every move we make.

At least not the way humans sometimes micromanage. Have you ever noticed that there are no commands in the Bible like, “Thou shalt wear blue socks every Tuesday,” or “Thou shalt not stay up past 11:38 p.m.”? Regulating every little thing we do isn’t God’s way. He loves us and cares for us, He tells us what He expects from us and the consequences of obeying and disobeying Him, and then He gives us space within those parameters to make decisions that are aligned with His will as revealed in His Word. As long as we’re not violating any of His principles or commands and we’re exercising godly wisdom, it’s fine with Him if we want to wear red socks on Tuesday or stay up until midnight.

Regulating every little thing we do isn’t God’s way. God doesn’t micromanage every move we make.
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Our children need space to make decisions within the confines of the rules we’ve set up, especially children who haven’t given us any reason not to exercise reasonable trust in them. Nitpicking, checking, regulating, and hovering over every little move your child makes is smothering and frustrating to her. It says, “I don’t trust you to do what’s right without constant monitoring from me.”

7. God allows us to fail.

I once read the biography of a girl who went blind. She enrolled in a life skills class at a school for the blind to learn how to navigate the world. During orientation, her counselor showed her around the common room of the dorm she was staying in. The counselor took her hand, placed it on the protruding mantel of the fireplace and said, “This is a sharp corner. You’ll need to watch out for it.” The girl gasped, “That’s dangerous! Why don’t you put some padding on it?”. The counselor replied, “You need to learn to be careful and aware of your surroundings. Nobody’s going to pad the sharp corners of the world for you.”

God doesn’t pad the sharp corners of the world for us, either. He doesn’t put us in a protective little bubble where we’ll never be hurt or fail or sin. He gives us everything we need for life and godliness in His Word and allows us to obey or disobey Him. Even when we fail, give in to temptation, and sin.

God doesn’t pad the sharp corners of the world for us, either. He doesn’t put us in a protective little bubble where we’ll never be hurt or fail or sin.
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Consider that your child needs to learn the skill of facing and resisting temptation on her own. Give her enough age appropriate, situation appropriate freedom to do that – and to fail at it and repent – in the spiritual safety of your home. One day you won’t be there to put a lock on the computer. God will hold her responsible for her own sin. Will your child have developed the spiritual strength to say no to temptation when there’s nobody to stop her?

8. God is always there.

He’s not a “helicopter parent,” but He’s always there to listen to us, help us, nurture us, and be our Wonderful Counselor and Everlasting Father.

If you are a parent, job one is not your career, it’s parenting. Generally speaking (yes, there are sometimes exceptions and exigent circumstances), that means, Mom, your primary vocation is to raise your own children. Don’t just assume you have to work outside the home. Pray fervently for God to make a way for you to raise your children. Be creative and look for ways to get out of the workforce and get home. Slash every possible expense. Move. Eat at home. Home school instead of private school. Sell a vehicle. Bargain hunt. Find a way to earn money from home. Make the effort. Your children don’t just need any random person to raise them, they need you.

Your children don’t just need any random person to raise them, they need you.
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Are we imitating our Heavenly Father in the way we parent? Do we cry out to Him for wisdom in the rules and restrictions we set for our children, trusting Him to help us and to protect our children? Or do we live in fear of what might happen, worrying and trying to protect our children in our own strength?

As much as we’d like to sometimes, we can’t build walls around our children to protect them from every sin or from anything bad ever happening to them. That is not how God deals with us. He loves, cares, and provides for us. He disciplines us appropriately when we need it. He clearly spells out what He expects from us. He warns us of the dangers and consequences of disobedience and teaches us the blessings of obedience. It’s then up to us to decide whether we love Him enough to obey Him, or if we’d rather go our own way.

Do we parent our children like God “parents” us?

Do we parent our children like God “parents” us?
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Favorite Finds

Favorite Finds ~ May 1, 2018

May 1, 2018June 11, 2018 Michelle Lesley

Here are a few of my favorite recent online finds…

I’ve recommended Verity Fellowship in the past as a doctrinally sound resource for Christian women. In this article, VF’s Katherine Roberts recommends a great resource for women who want to learn how to study and teach the Bible better without going to seminary: The Simeon Trust.

Crossway recently published a fascinating article, 10 Crucial Archaeological Discoveries Related to the Bible as part of the promotion for their new ESV Archaeology Study Bible.

Justin Peters and Costi Hinn have recorded several helpful YouTube videos in a series called Truth & Transformation refuting the false teaching coming out of the Word of Faith and New Apostolic Reformation movements. I’ve been told more videos are on the way, and there’s talk of a podcast!

Looking for a fun family trip this summer? Check out the Answers in Genesis Equipping Families to Stand Conference. It will be held at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, July 16-20. Your registration fee for the conference includes a seven day pass to both the Creation Museum and the nearby Ark Encounter.

I really appreciated Clint Archer’s article Bleep! Why Christians Shouldn’t Cuss over at The Cripplegate. I have no idea why anyone who’s a Christian would think profanity is acceptable to God, but, for folks who do, Clint will quickly, deftly, and biblically disabuse them of that mindset.

Mark Bible Study

Mark: Lesson 14

August 16, 2017April 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Mark 10:1-31

And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

²And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” ³He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” ⁴They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” ⁵And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. ⁶But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, ⁸and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. ⁹What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

¹⁰And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. ¹¹And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, ¹²and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

¹³And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them.¹⁴But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. ¹⁵Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” ¹⁶And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

¹⁷And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” ¹⁸And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. ¹⁹You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” ²⁰And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” ²¹And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” ²²Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

²³And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” ²⁴And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! ²⁵It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” ²⁶And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?” ²⁷Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” ²⁸Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” ²⁹Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, ³⁰who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. ³¹But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

Questions to Consider

1. What does verse 1 say it was Jesus’ “custom” (notice also the words “and again”) to do? Considering this verse and all we’ve studied in the previous nine chapters, which aspect of His ministry do you think Jesus considered spiritually weightier, His teaching or His miracles? Which was more temporal and which was more eternal? What are the implications of this for the church today? Should our focus be on the teaching of Scripture, which has an eternal impact, or on miracles, signs, and wonders, which (if they’re even real and biblical) only have a temporal impact?

2. What was the purpose of the Pharisees’ questions? (2) Where does Jesus point them for the answer? (3) Think back over what we’ve learned about Jesus’ authority. He not only had the authority, as God, to definitively answer the Pharisees’ questions, but He was regarded by many of the people as a rabbi (or teacher), and rabbis’ teachings were authoritative. Why do you think Jesus – who had the authority (“you have heard it said…but I say to you…”) to answer the Pharisees’ questions directly – pointed them to Scripture instead? Can you think of more situations in which Jesus pointed others to Scripture to answer them? If Jesus – God Himself – pointed people back to Scripture what does this tell us about the place and authority Scripture should hold in our own lives?

3. Examine Deuteronomy 24:1-4, what “Moses commanded” (3), and compare it with verses 4-12. Does the content and tone of the Deuteronomy passage agree with what Jesus says in these verses? How would you summarize God’s view of marriage? (5-9) What does Jesus teach about divorce in verse 11? Who is guilty of adultery in a divorce and subsequent remarriage- the spouse initiating the divorce, or the spouse who didn’t initiate the divorce? Compare Mark 10:1-11 to these passages. What are the two biblically allowable circumstances for divorce and remarriage? Is divorce required by Scripture in these situations?

4. Why do you think the disciples rebuked people for bringing their children to Jesus to bless them? (13) Which attribute(s) of God does Jesus showcase in verses 13-16? Take a look at these Greek, Roman, and other Gentile attitudes and practices toward children circa the time of Jesus. As a first century Gentile, what would this passage have said to you about God’s love and care for children? How should this passage inform us today about abortion as well as the need to nurture our children and raise them in a godly way?

5. Examine Jesus’ teaching about marriage in 5-9 and His words and actions about children in 13-16. If you were to formulate a theology of family from these verses, what would it say?

6. Compare verses 14-15 with Mark 9:35-37. How can one “receive the kingdom of God like a child”? (15) What does it mean to have a “childlike faith”? Is there a difference between having a childlike faith and having a childish faith?

7. Fill in the blanks from verse 17: “…what must __ ___ to inherit eternal life?”. Does the gospel require us to do (perform, behave) something in order to be saved? In verse 18, is Jesus denying His deity? When Jesus says, “No one is good except God alone,” (18) He is implying to the rich young ruler that by calling Him good, he is also calling Him _____. Considering the remainder of his interaction with Jesus (19-25), was the rich young ruler ready to concede that Jesus was God?

8. Take a look back at the Ten Commandments. The first table of the Law (Commandments 1-4) deals with the (vertical) relationship between people and Whom? The second table of the Law (Commandments 5-10) deals with the (horizontal) relationship between people and whom? Examine verse 19. Which table of the Law do all of these commands come from? So if what the rich young ruler says in verse 20 is true, with whom is he in a right relationship by keeping all these commands? Examine verses 21-25 and compare the man’s love of his riches (and refusal to give them up to follow Jesus) to the first table of the Law. Which Commandment(s) is he breaking? This demonstrates he is not in right relationship with Whom? What do verses 23-25 teach about the idolatry of wealth versus following Jesus?

9. Some people use verse 21 to teach that anyone who ministers to the poor is in right standing with God (i.e. saved, going to Heaven), regardless of whether or not they’ve repented and placed their faith in Christ. Examining this verse in the context of this passage and in the context of the biblical gospel, is that truly what this verse is teaching? Is verse 21 a command for all Christians to follow (a prescriptive verse) or is it simply a description of something Jesus said to this particular person to elicit a particular response (a descriptive verse)?

10. Consider verses 26-27 in their immediate context – the power of idolatry to keep people from Christ. Have you ever prayed for the salvation of someone you felt was a hopeless case, that it would be pretty much impossible for her to get saved? How does this passage offer hope about those “hard cases”? Compare with John 6:44.

11. Examine verses 28-31. Sometimes people take verses 29-30 to mean that if you follow Jesus you’ll get more houses, lands, loved ones, and wealth. Think about Peter (28), the rest of the disciples, and Paul- what they left behind to follow Jesus and to be founders of the New Testament church. Think about the hardships and martyrdom they faced. What does this passage mean in light of their suffering? Could this passage be pointing to God providing for our needs and the love and comfort of church family rather than the promise of temporal wealth?

Homework

Mark 10:1,17 again mention Jesus’ travels. Find a good Bible map of Israel during Jesus’ lifetime (there’s probably one in the back of your Bible or Google “Bible maps”), go back over Mark 1-10, and trace Jesus’ travels on the map. You might even want to print out a map you can write on and mark the various places He visited and routes He took.

Suggested Memory Verse

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Grandparents an Ungodly Influence on My Kids

June 20, 2016May 4, 2026 Michelle Lesley

My husband’s family is unsaved and over the years they have encouraged my children to ignore our teachings, rules and God’s word to the point of encouraging and helping them to sneak around. Our oldest son moved out (because he didn’t like our rules) and in with his grandma (who is not saved and we repeatedly asked her not to allow him to live with her) she encourages and allows drinking, pre-marital sex.

I also have two young children. I am struggling with having a relationship with people who have and do tell my children that the Bible is not true, they don’t have to follow the rules at our home and they may live with them so they can live their lives as they please. I don’t know scripturally how respond to this ongoing situation.

I’m so glad you want to handle this situation scripturally. As Christians, we should always go to Scripture first to learn what to do in any circumstance.

We need to start by remembering our heirarchy of responsibility. As Christians, our first responsibility is to love and obey Christ. As Christian wives and moms, our next responsibility is to submit to our husbands’ leadership. Finally, we are responsible for raising our children in a godly way. But we also want to love and honor our extended family, and that can be really difficult when they aren’t saved and have a pagan worldview.

It’s such a comfort to me to know that Jesus knew and addressed the fact that He would be a dividing line between people, sometimes even within families:

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 10:34-37 (see also Luke 12:51-53)

But Jesus reminds us that, despite those painful divisions and our love for our family members, our loyalty to Him and His word must come first. It’s important to note that the God who said these words in Matthew and Luke is the same God who said in Exodus 20:12 (the Ten Commandments):

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

I think that might be your dilemma. How do we honor Christ in our home and still honor our parents who stand in opposition to Christ?

Let’s look at a few more passages, again, remembering that our first obligation is to obey God’s word. God has made it incumbent upon parents, particularly fathers, to raise our children to know His word and to walk in His ways:

You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul…You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 11:18a,19

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Your children also have a responsibility to honor and obey their parents:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Ephesians 6:1

But while you’re raising your children in the ways of the Lord and training them to obey you, you need to make sure you’re not doing things that would make that difficult for them, because doing so will “provoke your children to anger” or “exasperate” them:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

Imagine how difficult it must be for a child – who already wants only to gratify his fleshly desires – to obey mom and dad’s instruction in godliness when mom and dad keep having him spend time with grandparents whom they love and who allow them to gratify those desires of the flesh. It would be difficult for an adult to be obedient in that situation of being pulled both ways, let alone a child.

In order to discover what God would have you do about your relationship with your in-laws, you and your husband will need to discuss what God’s word says about honoring his parents and raising your children in a godly way. Ultimately, as the spiritual leader of your home, the final decision about the relationship your family will have with his parents rests on his shoulders, and you will need to honor and respect his decision. As you prayerfully study God’s word and discuss things, you might find the following questions helpful:

Are our younger children being exasperated or frustrated in their attempts to obey Ephesians 6:1 when we have them spend time with grandparents who are encouraging them to disobey God’s word? Is continually exposing our children to their grandparents’ ungodliness putting a “stumbling block” in front of a weaker person?
Since we know God’s word does not contradict itself, how can we honor our parents (Exodus 20:12) even though they are enemies of Christ (Matthew 10:34-37)? Is there a way we can modify the way we spend time with them and/or the amount of time we spend with them so that we still have a relationship with them, yet minimize or remove the ungodly influence they have on our children? Does honoring our parents require us or our children to spend a particular amount of time with them? Is the situation so extreme that our loyalty to Christ demands that we sever the relationship altogether?
First Corinthians 15:33 says: Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Does it make a difference, biblically, if the “bad company” is relatives? Would we let our children spend time with people like this if they were not related to us?
Am I, individually, and are we, as a family, regularly praying about this situation and praying for my in-laws’ salvation? Are we sharing the gospel with them? Are we trusting God to answer our prayers and work through this situation?

If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected

Parenting, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 8

November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 Michelle Lesley

Originally published June 30, 2008

8.
Thou shalt set a good example
for thy children
by thine own Godly behavior.

“…walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,” Ephesians 4:1-2

Do what I say, not what I do.

Monkey see, monkey do.

Actions speak louder than words.

Practice what you preach.

Which of those maxims seem to ring true when it comes to parenting? For years, every childrearing expert who has come along has reminded us that modeling the behavior we want our kids to exhibit is one of the most effective ways of shaping them. Of course, if you’re a mom of a child who is old enough to walk and talk, you already know that modeling works, because, for better or for worse, you’ve already heard your own words fly out of your child’s mouth or seen him imitate you at some point!

Your kids will imitate you. My kids will imitate me. How do we use that knowledge to pour godliness into them? The Bible tells us that we are to be imitators of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 5:1-2). We need to strive for godliness in our own lives until we can say to our kids, as Paul said to the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”

They need to see us studying our Bibles and spending time in prayer. They need to see us resist temptation. They need to see us set aside our own desires in favor of serving others. They need to see us exhibit love, humility, kindness, patience, forgiveness and mercy. They need to hear us building others up instead of criticizing and gossiping. They need to see us work through problems with our husbands, families and friends in a godly way. They need to see us admit when we’re wrong and seek forgiveness.

So, in the spirit of that old children’s song:

Oh, be careful Mommy’s mouth what you say
And be careful Mommy’s feet where you go
And be careful Mommy’s hands what you do

Not only is “the Father up above…looking down in love,” but our little ones are looking up at us too.