Hello! I believe as you do, about women “Pastors” and not usurping authority or teaching over men. Some women, such as Priscilla Schirer (sic) just as an example, who speak to thousands are considered as unscriptural because men are often present. Now I do know some encourage male attendance but what if they don’t but men show up? That’s not really in their control, right? What would you do if men attended an event you’re speaking at? I mean this sincerely, just wondering how this could be handled. Thank you!
This is a great question I’ve received a number of times, so when I was recently asked again by this reader, I thought I’d just drop my answer right into the ol’ Mailbag!
There’s a foundational understanding I need to lay before answering. There are three types of women with public speaking/teaching ministries:
- Those who know what Scripture says about women preaching and teaching the Bible to men and strive to obey it.
- Those who know what Scripture says about women preaching and teaching the Bible to men, but don’t care and choose to disobey it.
- Those who don’t know what Scripture says about women preaching and teaching the Bible to men.
You’ll find women like Susan Heck, Martha Peace, Doreen Virtue, Amy Spreeman, and me in the first category.
You’ll find about 97% of today’s most popular women’s speakers/teachers, like Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, Lysa TerKeurst, Christine Caine, Jen Wilkin and so on, in the second category.
Women in the third category don’t know Scripture well enough to be teaching anyone, so you shouldn’t follow them for that reason regardless of whether they teach men or only women.
When confronted about their sinful practice of teaching men, those “second category” women often cry, “We can’t help it if men just show up!” as though they’re helpless victims of men choosing to attend their women’s conferences and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Hogwash, baloney, and poppycock.
Those women are not helpless victims who have unwittingly had men foisted upon them. They’re rebels against Scripture who are perfectly fine with preaching to men. In fact, Priscilla Shirer and most of the other aforementioned examples of “second category” women, have preached the Sunday sermon in a church multiple times. Don’t tell me they didn’t know men would be present in the Sunday morning worship service!
So when they try to present this “helpless victim of men showing up, otherwise I would have obeyed Scripture” scenario, they are lying to you. They are totally fine with preaching to men, and they will blasphemously twist Scripture to try to make you fine with it, too.
So, understanding that foundation from the get go should help us reframe the way we think about this scenario of men showing up at a women’s event.
How do “first category” women handle this situation? Well, being one, I’ll be happy to explain.
First, before you ever embark on a teaching ministry, you study the Scriptures, come to a biblical understanding of the role of Christian women, and you make a Holy Spirit empowered decision of the will that you’re going to obey Christ regardless of the cost. That’s just what we do – about everything – as Christians. It is the essence of the Christian life.
Next, you make it abundantly clear in all aspects of your ministry that you hold the biblical position of the role of women and that you, emphatically do. not. teach. men. I kinda feel like anybody who’s been following me for more than five minutes knows that about me.
Next, when you create your event speaking information and materials, you again make it explicitly clear that you only teach women. The very first sentence on my Speaking Engagements page says:
“I am available to speak on Biblical topics at women’s conferences, workshops, retreats, breakout sessions, and other women’s events.”
If that’s not clear enough, my event planner FAQs document, which discusses the issue further, is also linked on that page, and my speaking engagement request form requires that the pastor of the church hosting the event be familiar with my theology, especially on hot button issues like the biblical role of women.
When I receive a speaking engagement request, I check out the requesting church. If it’s a church that has female “pastors” or allows women to preach or teach men, my husband (my events coordinator) will specifically address that with the church’s event planner during the booking process.
In ten years of event speaking, that has happened once, and I did not speak at that church’s event. (They weren’t asking me to teach men at their event, but I’m not going to give the appearance of tacitly endorsing a church that allows women to pastor, preach, or teach men by accepting their invitation to speak.)
I have bent over backwards to make it perfectly clear that I only teach women. The “second category” women don’t. In fact, they make it perfectly clear that they’re fine with teaching men by accepting speaking engagements where they already know men will be in attendance, such as preaching the Sunday sermon, or contracting with Lifeway Women, which welcomes men at their women’s events.
If a speaker makes it clear that she only teaches women, event planners don’t usually ask her to speak at co-ed events. If a planner for a co-ed event somehow manages to miss the speaker’s clearly stated information, it’s the responsibility of the speaker to find out about the event and turn down those that invite men to attend. An invitation to speak at an event is not a subpoena. The speaker is absolutely free to turn it down. And if the event is unbiblical (such as a co-ed event for a female speaker), she has a biblical responsibility to turn it down.
When potential event attendees are familiar with the speaker and her position on the role of women, and the event is advertised as a women’s event, men generally get the picture that they’re not welcome or wanted and they don’t show up.
And these days, I request security at my events. It’s security’s job to intercept anyone -whether that’s an armed attacker, a protester, or a man who wants to attend – who shouldn’t be there and could endanger the women attending or disrupt the event.
That being said, this scenario of men just showing up to attend a women’s event actually happened to me. Once. In ten years of event speaking.
I was asked to teach a couple of breakout sessions for women at a doctrinally sound co-ed conference. The host organization and I were in complete agreement that only women would attend my sessions, and that was indicated in all of the publicity materials.
About five minutes after I started teaching my first session, a couple of young men wandered in and took seats near the back. I continued my opening remarks for a minute or two, hoping they’d look around, get a clue, and leave.
When they didn’t, and it had become obvious that they were there as attendees seeking to be taught (not looking for their wives, running the sound board, or some other legitimate reason), I stopped teaching, and as gently and kindly as I possibly could (because I didn’t want to embarrass them or make things more awkward than they already were), I said something along the lines of,
“Hi guys. I’m so honored that you’d like to hear me teach, but I don’t teach men, and this session is for women only. You might enjoy attending Brother So & So’s session. It’s right down the hall.”.
And they immediately and apologetically – with no hint of offense – stood up and and left, and I continued teaching the women. No big whoop. They just didn’t know any better, but I was able to teach them without teaching them!😀
(I did, however, as soon as that first session was over, track down the host of the conference and asked him to announce in the next plenary session that my remaining breakout sessions were for women only!)
I wasn’t a victim. There was a kind, loving, and biblical way to handle the situation, and I handled it. Those “second category” women? They don’t, because they don’t see men in their audiences as any sort of an issue.
The bottom line in this situation is that if you want to obey Christ in your ministry, you’ll make that your top priority and He’ll give you the grace to do so. If you don’t want to obey Christ in your ministry, you won’t. Those “second category” women don’t want to obey Christ, or they would.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
