Listen in as Dave and I discuss marks of a false teacher, your responsibility to be a careful listener at church, conferences and other events, issues with The Gospel Coalition, LifeWay Women, and Crossway, the importance of the local church, and more!
(I misspoke at the 30:01 mark. When I said, “The Gospel Coalition is less progressive…” I meant to say “LifeWay Women is less progressive…”)
Be sure to check out Dave’s website, Servants of Grace, where you’ll find an abundance of great teaching, podcasts, and materials, as well as his social media links- and give Dave a follow!
Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the episode:
Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a women’s conference or church event? Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat!
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. Proverbs 26:5
There’s a lot of foolishness masquerading as Christianity these days. Occasionally, I get e-mails and messages showcasing this type of foolishness. It needs to be biblically corrected so these folks can stop “being wise in their own eyes,” repent, and believe and practice the truth of Scripture. From time to time, I share those e-mails in The Mailbag with a biblical corrective, not only so the e-mail writer can be admonished by Scripture, but to provide you with Scriptures and reasoning you can use if you’re ever confronted with this kind of foolishness.
To answer a fool according to his folly (or in the case of most of the foolishness addressed to me – a professing Christian acting the fool by spouting unbiblical folly) is to stand toe to toe with him and firmly and biblically address his unbiblical foolishness without backing down or letting him run roughshod over you – sometimes even mirroring his own words back to him to help him see his hypocrisy. Some Christians think holding your ground, refusing to compromise on biblical truth, and offering correction in this way is unkind or unloving. It is not. Not if you’re going by the Bible’s definition of love rather than the world’s definition (“be nice” “accept everything” “don’t confront”), and not when you’re dealing with a pridefully stubborn person. One of the most unloving things a Christian can do is to see a professing brother or sister in biblical error and ignore it rather than trying to help that person see the truth of God’s Word. Jesus, Paul, Peter, Jude, John, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and many others, did this plenty of times in Scripture, and, often, much more stringently that I and other 21st century Christians do. Sometimes love – real, biblical love – has to be tough in order to reach someone’s heart.
You can read more in the “Answering a Fool” series here.
If you’re on pretty much any form of social media, you know foolishness abounds. Such was the case, recently on X (the artist formerly known as Twitter). But it gave me some great teaching and evangelism opportunities.
I’d like everyone to be aware of the fact that these people were commenting and leveling these accusations against me on my own post. I’ve made it a practice not go on to other people’s posts (especially those I don’t follow) and comment to them in this manner.
Immediately below is my post (it’s clickable if you’d like to read more), followed by three different comments on my post and my responses (with some modifications) to each of them.
I honestly don't care that you're an expert in eschatology, and you read the Puritans, and you're a Sabbatarian, and an abolitionist, and patriarchal, and you can argue all the finer points of theology- if those things don't form Christlike *character* in you, they're worthless.
Thomas, my friend, that is a foolish and unbiblical way of responding to my statement, but it does provide a great opportunity for a teaching moment.
1. I did not address the idea of perfection in my comment. I didn’t say anyone is or isn’t, should or shouldn’t be, can or can’t be perfect. Perfection was not the topic, so your response makes no sense.
2. This response is virtue signaling. It’s meant to demonstrate that you are more virtuous than I am. That’s a form of pride.
3. This response is meant to shame me when I have said nothing unbiblical or worthy of shaming. I don’t know if you’re a Believer or not, but if you are, that’s not only unbiblical, but very unloving toward a sister in Christ.
4. The topic I was addressing in my comment was unChristlike character. Your response was basically, “You’re not perfect so you can’t address unbiblical behavior.” As you said, no one but Jesus is perfect. So I guess that means no Christian can ever address any issue of sin because no Christian is perfect? That’s certainly not a biblical idea.
5. If no one is perfect and therefore I shouldn’t be addressing unbiblical behavior, why are you addressing what you feel to be my unbiblical behavior by responding this way to me? Are you perfect and therefore allowed to call my comment into question?
6. Your X bio proclaims you to be “just another voice in the wilderness.” That’s an allusion to John the Baptist. He called out a lot of sin and called a lot of people to repentance – much more stringently than I did in my comment. Was he perfect, or only Jesus? Perhaps he shouldn’t have rebuked Herod’s sin of adultery since he was not perfect himself. (You might want to study up on John the Baptist a little more.)
7. Would you have responded the same way if I were remarking on any other sin? What if I had made a negative remark about bank robbery or child abuse? Would you have responded, “Jesus is perfect, we are not, unless you are?”.
Or is it that I can only say that something is unbiblical or wrong if you agree it’s unbiblical or wrong, or that the world generally agrees is wrong? If that’s the case, you or society have just become my authority on right and wrong rather than Scripture.
So thank you, Thomas, for giving us this example of an unbiblical response and giving me the opportunity to make it a teaching moment. I hope it’s been edifying and helpful to you.
Your comment is an extraordinary thing to say. You don’t strike me as someone who has the authority to assess me or whether or not I have the authority to assess anyone/anything else. You don’t follow me and this is the first time, to my recollection, that we’ve ever interacted, so where did you get the authority you feel gives you the right to assess me?
Your authority to assess me is called into question even further by your lack of reading comprehension skills. My comment was not, by any stretch of the imagination, an assessment of the Puritans or how valuable reading them might be. It was an assessment of people who, despite reading the Puritans (plus the other things I mentioned), lack Christlike character. I would encourage you to go back to my OP and read slowly and carefully for understanding.
Goner’s response was to call me prideful, belligerent, and “arrogance personified”. That’s the type of childish, unsubstantial response you can expect when you point out someone’s hypocrisy and/or that he is wrong about something. Rather than manning up, owning it, and apologizing, he will turn around like an eight year old and call you a doody-head because he knows what you’re saying is right. He doesn’t like that you’re right, and he wants to defend himself, but he hasn’t a leg to stand on, so this is what he’s reduced to. I’m embarrassed for grown adults with jobs and driver’s licenses who act this way. It’s one of the reasons I usually ignore comments like the ones I’m sharing today.
A) You’re assuming facts not in evidence.
B) If “ALL” the Christians you know genuinely think they’re better than everybody else, then you might know some people who claim to be Christians, but you don’t know any who actually are Christians.
However, it’s been my experience that people like you assume Christians think they’re better than everybody else, when, in reality we think nothing of the sort.
What’s actually happening in that situation is that because the Holy Spirit abides in that Christian, you’re feeling Him, in all His holiness, convicting you of your sins so that you can repent and believe the gospel.
You don’t like that feeling, so you deflect it by sublimating your feelings of guilt and conviction into an assumption that that Christian thinks he’s better than you.
This allows you to – arrogantly – feel superior to him, and that feeling of superiority dulls the guilt and conviction you’re feeling, so you feel better.
That is what’s actually happening.
I suspect that’s what’s going on in your heart right now, leading you to make this comment. So, striking while the iron is hot, let me take this opportunity to encourage you to carefully and prayerfully consider the materials and Scriptures here, and repent and believe the gospel.
I haven’t heard back from Tony yet, and maybe I won’t, but unless he actually responds to the conviction of the Holy Spirit in repentance and faith in Christ, my guess is that he’ll respond kind of like Goner did, because…
The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.
1 Corinthians 2:14
And at that point, I’m obligated to discontinue the discourse out of obedience to Scripture:
Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Matthew 7:6
This social media generation (myself included – often) has failed to wisely distinguish between answering a fool according to his folly and the fact that you cannot argue a blind man into seeing. Let’s allow these two passages remind us of that and inform, guard, and guide our interactions online.
If you’d like to follow me on social media (as long as it’s not to argue!), click the Contact and Social Media tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
My oldest daughter is turning 12 this week, and I see a lot of heart issues in her that I would like to help her with. She is a triplet, and also has three younger siblings, and I think she feels like she doesn’t get as much attention from me because of the neediness of the other children, which has turned into bitterness and disrespectful attitudes in her. Is there a book that you know of that I could take her through that would help us both with these things? Really, anything directed at her age discussing how to be a godly older sister. I want to be a good mom for her, raising her to be a kind and loving older sister, but I feel like I am failing.
Being a mom is pretty challenging, and we all have moments and seasons when we feel like we’re failing. Ask the best, most godly mom you know, and I’m sure she’ll agree. Sometimes, it’s because we have failed, which means we need to repent – to God and to our children – and obey Him. But often, we take those feelings of failure upon ourselves when we’re truly doing our best, and/or when the situation is unavoidable or isn’t our fault.
Let me give you a few resources that may help…
First, you’ll want to get your own heart and mind in order – according to Scripture – about your feelings of failure. Check out my article: Guilt and Shame- Burden or Blessing?
Your daughter is the perfect age for the two of you to study the Bible together. If she’s not yet a Believer, you’ll want to explain the gospel to her. If she is a Believer, study through a book of the Bible together. The Bible is a book, it’s directed at her age, and it addresses all of the things you’ve mentioned both textually and transformatively. (If I may be a little blunt: your daughter needs godly parenting from the best people for the job – you and your husband – and either salvation or sanctification by the Holy Spirit more than she needs to read a book written by someone else.) If you’d like, the two of you might also enjoy working through my Bible study Imperishable Beauty: A Study of Biblical Womanhood. Studying Scripture together will also help address the issue of her feeling like she’s not getting enough attention from you.
And don’t forget to pray for your daughter on your own, with your husband, and with her. Prayer is also transformative. It will help you, your husband, and your daughter get on the same page with God.
Finally, let your church be the resource for you that God wants it to be. This is a textbook Titus 2:3-5 situation. Find a godly older woman in your church or in your family, and ask for her help and guidance. If you don’t know anyone like that, set up an appointment with your pastor for counsel and ask him to point you in the direction of a godly older woman who can disciple you through this.
Although doctrinally sound books can sometimes be helpful, the means and methods God has prescribed in Scripture – the Word, prayer, and the church – should always be our “Plan A”.
I’m 19 years of age and I’m currently at war with my parents because I told them I wanted to start wearing pants. They believe my salvation is not real because I’m going against Deuteronomy 22:5…..And it has made me so confused about my stand with God. Am I really sinning against God or am I misunderstanding something?
I think there’s definitely some misunderstanding and some sin going on here, but maybe not like you might be thinking. Let’s sort it out according to Scripture.
In and of itself, it is not a sin for a Christian woman to wear modest women’s pants. If your parents genuinely think you’re not saved solely because you want to wear modest women’s pants, then they are misunderstanding Deuteronomy 22:5 (and possibly the New Testament concept of Christians being under the covenant of grace rather than the Mosaic covenant). I’ve explained all of this in detail in my article The Mailbag: May Christian Women Wear Pants?.
However there aresins being committed in this situation that you may not have considered. If you’re “at war” with your parents about this or any other issue of adiaphora/Christian liberty, you’re probably committing the sins of pride, dishonoring/disobeying your parents, failing to live at peace with them so far as you’re able, and failing to bear with their weakness in this area. (Your parents may also be committing some of these sins as well as provoking you to anger, but you can only control whether or not you’re sinning, and how you react to their sins.) I would encourage you to study the Scriptures I’ve linked here, ask God to humble you and help you understand whether or not you’ve sinned in any of these areas, and, if you have, repent – to God and to your parents.
Now, there is one more dynamic at play here: It doesn’t sound like you’re married, so are you still living under your parents’ roof and/or financial support (e.g. You live in a dorm or apartment they’re paying for, they’re paying for your education, etc.) or are you living on your own and supporting yourself? Those are two different kettles of fish.
Your parents have the right to make the rules for their house, and they have the right to decide what they will and won’t support financially, even if those rules and conditions seem wrong, ridiculous, or unfair to you. At nineteen, you are an adult, and you have the right to decide whether you want to live under those rules in their house, and whether you want to abide by the conditions under which they will financially support you. It’s just a question of which is more important to you at this point in your life – housing and financial support or wearing pants. If you want to live at their house and/or receive their money, you need to humble yourself and abide by their rules without complaining. If you want to wear pants, you need to move out and pay your own way.
A few final thoughts:
If you’re still living at home or receiving financial support from your parents, you can lovingly and humbly ask if they might be open to the compromise of you wearing split skirts or palazzo pants / skirts. Go into this conversation prepared to graciously accept an answer of “no”.
Give 1 Peter 3:1-6 a good study. This passage is not about the parent-child relationship, but about Christian wives softening their unsaved husbands’ hearts to the gospel by their godly, submissive behavior. Are there any principles you can glean from this passage that can be applied to your relationship with your parents as you submit to their authority in their home and under their financial support?
When you do move out and support yourself, you’re free to wear modest women’s pants whenever you like, but Scripture doesn’t allow us to exercise our Christian liberties in ways that unnecessarily offend others. In other words, when you go visit your parents, put on a skirt.
I am curious as to why Kenneth Copeland and Rhema Bible College [founded by Kenneth Hagin] are NOT on your list of false teachers. Thank you for your ministry but I believe these are important ones to highlight as well.
I agree, the two Kenneths are/were rank heretics, and Rhema “Bible” College knows nothing of the Bible. No one should have anything to do with any of them.
Here’s why they (and a number of other blatant heretics) are not listed at my Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page). Let’s start with an excerpt from that page that perhaps you didn’t see:
Please understand that this isnot a comprehensive list of every false teacher inexistence (there are thousands of them, so that would be impossible)… I provide information here largely in answer to questions from my readers. In other words, if you don’t see it, it’s either because I haven’t been asked about it, or I haven’t had time to get to it yet. The names you see are simply some of the most well-known teachers my readers have inquired about.
Generally speaking, my audience consists mostly of Christian women in passable to vibrantly doctrinally sound churches. They’re not asking me if the Kenneths are false teachers; they can watch or listen to five minutes of either of those guys and know.
Women who are so undiscerning that they’re following these guys are almost certainly not saved (and aren’t following me). What they need is to repent and believe the gospel, or they’re neither going to understand why, nor believe that the Kenneths are heretics, and, like the pigs and dogs they are, spiritually speaking, they’re going to turn and attack me for trying to convince them
There are tens of thousands of false teachers out there. I am one person with a husband, family, church responsibilities, friends, a podcast, speaking engagements, and other topics I have to blog about. I have to spend my time, not on the obvious false teachers, but on the more subtle ones my readers are actually asking about.
I have also attempted to help out readers who don’t find the false teacher they’re looking for on the list (again, from my Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends page):
In this article, you’ll not only learn how to research teachers for yourself (a skill every Christian should develop), you’ll also find a list of trustworthy discernment ministries who may have the information you’re looking for.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
I have a question on a Carol Mader. Our church is a Baptist church and we are using a book called ‘kids travel guide to the fruit of the spirit”. When I check Carol out I find she’s Catholic? What are your thoughts?
I’m not familiar with Carol, but no Christian should be attending a church of any denomination where the pastor is OK with using Bible study, discipleship, etc. materials written by Catholics. Catholicism is not Christianity any more than Mormonism is.
The first thing I would encourage you to do is to make absolutely certain that Carol is, indeed, Catholic. I Googled her name, and several different Carol Maders popped up, including at least one who’s Catholic (also one who’s a retired Episcopal priest). The results also included the Amazon page selling books similar to the one you mentioned, by someone named Carol Mader. However, I was unable to verify that the Carol Mader who wrote those books is the same person as one of the Catholic Carol Maders.
But perhaps you have a more reliable source that unequivocally states that the Carol Mader who wrote the book is Catholic. In that case, I would encourage you to go to your pastor and kindly and gently ask him if he knows that this woman is Catholic. If he knows and doesn’t care, or tries to make you feel like you’re the bad guy for bringing this up, it’s time to find a new church. If he seems surprised and apologetic, immediately stops the use of the book, this was a one time goof on his part, and everything else about your church is doctrinally sound, forgive him and move on. Here are some resources that may help:
I am greatly appreciative of everything you have written [on your blog] and I wish I could read it all at once. There is so much good information. I desperately want to share this with my husband and church, but how can I do that as you are a woman, and then you would be teaching men? Thank you so much.
You’re very welcome. Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad my materials have been helpful, and it is my pleasure to serve you -and all of my readers- in Christ.
Let’s clear up a few things it sounds like you might be confused about or conflating, and I’ll share with you some resources that will give you fully-orbed answers to the several different questions implicit in your comment:
◇ Scripture’s prohibition against women instructing men in the Scriptures has a very specific context: in the gathering of the church body. There are many differences between the home and the church. They are two separate entities God has established in different ways for different purposes, and we need to keep them separate in our minds, especially when we study Scripture.
It might help to think about some of the obvious differences. Do you take up an offering or observe the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper in your home? Do you submit to your pastor in the same way you submit to your husband? Do you make sure everyone in your church is fed three meals a day and do all their laundry for them? These things may sound silly, but they help to illustrate that the church and the home run differently and have different purposes. Having a private conversation with your husband at home about something biblical you’ve learned (which is fine, biblically) is not the same thing as preaching it to your church from the pulpit (which is not).
◇ Whether you verbally explain what you’ve learned to your husband, hand him one of my articles to read, or a random man stumbles across my blog and reads it, I am not violating Scripture’s prohibition against teaching men (and neither are you).
◇ As far as sharing with your church or others, there’s certainly no problem with sharing my articles on social media, emailing them to a friend, etc. There’s also no reason you can’t share them with other women at church. However, if you’re going to be sharing them with more than a few other women, or reading one of my articles in a women’s class you teach, etc., run it by your pastor first, as a courtesy. He not only deserves to know what’s going on in his flock, he’s also responsible to God for what’s being taught in His church.
I answered this same basic question (with a few slight differences) to another reader a few years ago here (second question) in case it’s of interest.
A related question…
I have been posting Scripture on my Facebook page every morning for the last six months. My friends are both male and female. Sometimes to make a verse more understandable I will explain who is speaking or who is being addressed. I’m starting to feel uncomfortable when I do this because I’m afraid I’m preaching. I check my study Bible before including clarifications to make sure I’m not misleading anyone. My gut is telling me I need to just state the verse. I pray about it and am wondering if it’s the Spirit convicting me. Thank you for your help.
It’s very important that Christians listen to our consciences so we don’t sin against them. If your conscience bothers you about posting the explanations, by all means, don’t do it. For you to do so would mean that you believe posting the explanations is sin, but you’re going to do it anyway. Don’t do that.
But while it’s important that we not sin against our consciences, it’s equally important that our consciences are informed by rightly handled, in context Scripture. And, in a nutshell, your conscience is a bit misinformed.
Though I wouldn’t suggest going to the extreme of habitually posting lengthy diatribes aimed specifically at men, railing at them about how they can be more godly men, pastors, husbands, or fathers, there’s nothing unbiblical about posting a verse with a few clarifying remarks to a general audience. Biblically, that is not preaching.
I would encourage you to prayerfully consider the materials I’ve provided the previous reader as well as this one Sisters Are Part of the Family of God, Too!. If, after reading, praying, and studying the pertinent Scriptures you still think it’s better not to post the explanations, that’s OK. Don’t. If your conscience is clear, and you decide it’s OK to post them, then you can do that. A few other options you might consider that your conscience may find acceptable:
Post enough of the surrounding verses to make the context clear so you don’t have to explain.
Use brackets. This is a perfectly acceptable grammatical device, especially in an informal setting like social media. For example: if the verse begins, “And he said to them…” and it’s clear from the surrounding context that it’s Jesus speaking to the disciples, then bracket that part of the verse with the antecedents replacing the pronouns for clarity: “And [Jesus] said to [the disciples]…”.
Use a direct quote from your study Bible or a reliable commentary instead of using your own words. Remember to use quotation marks, and cite your source.
When you post the verse, include a link to a (doctrinally sound) sermon, article, Bible study video / podcast, etc. that explains the verse and its context.
I have found myself in the situation of looking for another church because of women being allowing to preach occasionally in our current church, but my husband wants to remain. Should I come under his authority and remain also or do you think it’s ok to follow my own convictions? I feel somewhat conflicted.
I’m so sorry. I know that must be really difficult. Sadly, this is an issue wives face more often than you’d think. I hope these articles, though they may not match your situation exactly, will be of help to you.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
Did any women write any part of the Bible?
Nope. No women authored any of the books of the Bible. The main reason for this is God’s established pattern of male headship and leadership. (Additionally, women were largely illiterate at that time in history.) Because of this, we have no reason to believe that any parts or passages of any books of the Bible were written by women.
We have passages like the song of Miriam, the song of Deborah and Barak, and the Magnificat, but these wouldn’t be considered “writing part of the Bible”. They were almost certainly spontaneous songs, which the male writers of those books recorded in Scripture.
If you are at work and others are constantly saying “OH MY G-D!” would you say something? It hurts my heart! It has become such a common thing, making God so disrespected.
I get it. I physically wince every time I hear it, myself.
Since this is your work environment rather than your church or a situation with family or friends, I would suggest getting some counsel from your pastor or a spiritually mature friend about how to handle this situation. It really depends on the dynamics of your workplace and your relationship with your boss and co-workers.
If you’re good friends with the people who are doing this, you may be able to take them aside and gently request that they try not to say this around you. If you have a more distant relationship with them, they’re probably not going to take too kindly to your request, and it could strain the already tenuous relationship you have with them, creating a work environment that’s even more uncomfortable for you.
Bear in mind that the most likely reason they’re saying this is because they’re lost. Lost people do lost people things. They’re not concerned about obeying Scripture, and they’ll be offended and resentful if you ask them to. If, after talking to your pastor about the situation, you feel it would be best not to speak up, perhaps you could use every occasion when they say this as a reminder to say a quick prayer for them and their salvation.
Since I have been following your ministry, I have been trying to be a Berean in what I hear, read, and watch. But the more discerning I become, the more alone I feel I am!! Friends that I have for years thought were solid in their faith, love The Message, Jesus Calling, The Chosen, go to Bible Studies by either false teachers or at the very least not recommended teachers, and dismiss me when I give them resources that speak the truth about these things!! What in the world???!!
My question is, could I be too far discerning? Should I be more open to hear what they have to say? Should I too be willing to read The Message or watch The Chosen? I am really feeling alone and like I’m missing something! What’s wrong with me Michelle?!!
Thank you for listening to me. I wonder if others have felt this way too.
Nothing is wrong with you, honey. Everything is right with you. You’re growing in maturity in Christ, in discernment, and in your knowledge of the Word. And one of the “growing pains” we go through as Christ sanctifies us is the realization that when Jesus said…
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 7:13-14
…He meant it. And He meant it far more than we realized the first time we read that passage. Few find the narrow gate. Some of the people we thought – due to our own lack of spiritual maturity – were Christians, suddenly aren’t. We just didn’t know it before.
This is, of course, not to say that anyone who’s ever watched an episode of The Chosen is on the express train to Hell, or that thinking Jesus Calling is awesome right now necessarily means you’re a false convert.
Remember, every genuinely born again person is being sanctified by Christ. And just because you’re not at my level of discernment yet doesn’t mean you’re not saved. And just because I’m not at your level of patience yet doesn’t mean I’m not saved. None of us are at Christ’s level of any of those things, and we won’t be, this side of Glory. God is working on each of us, at His own pace, in the area(s) He sees fit, at this moment in time.
Rather than looking at the trees of someone’s life, it can be more helpful to zoom out and look at the forest. Is she on a general trajectory of growing more Christlike, more holy, more obedient, more understanding of the Word? Or, over a substantial period of time, is she on a general trajectory of increasing disobedience to Scripture, decreasing faithfulness to the church, a worldview that’s getting less and less biblical? It’s a more accurate barometer of someone’s overall spiritual state than whether she’s spent the last couple of weeks going gaga over The Message.
Could you be too discerning? No. That’s like asking if you could be too loving, too peaceful, too gifted at teaching, or too gifted at serving.
Should you be more open to hear what they have to say? No. That is, if by “open” you mean “Should I consider doing or believing things that conflict with Scripture?”. Of course not.
But being a good listener when your friend is going on and on about the new Beth Moore study she’s attending can help a lot, because it can help you to ask her good questions. Like, “Wow, I never heard that before! Where does Scripture say that?” or “Interesting! Could we look at that passage in context together?” And the same goes for reading that heretical book or watching that blasphemous movie or TV show. If you’re mature and discerning enough not to be swayed by it, you can use what you observe to start a good discussion and teach her what the Bible really says. So yes, being more open to listening and understanding is much more valuable than the knee jerk NOOOOOOOO!!! STOPPPPPP!!! reaction we discernment-world folks can be tempted to.
Have others felt this way too? Yep. You’re looking at one. Most people with even moderate discernment feel this way at least occasionally. And I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received from women grieved over the fact that they’re “the only discerning person in my church!”.
It’s no fun. It can be lonely. You might even need to change churches. But you’re in good company with the rest of us discernment weirdos out here, and you’re always in good company with Jesus.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
