Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Catholic book, Baptist church… Sharing Michelle’s blog with husband/church… Is posting “preaching”?… Husband wants to stay at unbiblical church)

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.


I have a question on a Carol Mader. Our church is a Baptist church and we are using a book called โ€˜kids travel guide to the fruit of the spiritโ€. When I check Carol out I find sheโ€™s Catholic? What are your thoughts?

I’m not familiar with Carol, but no Christian should be attending a church of any denomination where the pastor is OK with using Bible study, discipleship, etc. materials written by Catholics. Catholicism is not Christianity any more than Mormonism is.

The first thing I would encourage you to do is to make absolutely certain that Carol is, indeed, Catholic. I Googled her name, and several different Carol Maders popped up, including at least one who’s Catholic (also one who’s a retired Episcopal priest). The results also included the Amazon page selling books similar to the one you mentioned, by someone named Carol Mader. However, I was unable to verify that the Carol Mader who wrote those books is the same person as one of the Catholic Carol Maders.

But perhaps you have a more reliable source that unequivocally states that the Carol Mader who wrote the book is Catholic. In that case, I would encourage you to go to your pastor and kindly and gently ask him if he knows that this woman is Catholic. If he knows and doesn’t care, or tries to make you feel like you’re the bad guy for bringing this up, it’s time to find a new church. If he seems surprised and apologetic, immediately stops the use of the book, this was a one time goof on his part, and everything else about your church is doctrinally sound, forgive him and move on. Here are some resources that may help:

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher theyโ€™re introducing?

Roman Catholicism: Mass Confusion at A Word Fitly Spoken


I am greatly appreciative of everything you have written [on your blog] and I wish I could read it all at once. There is so much good information. I desperately want to share this with my husband and church, but how can I do that as you are a woman, and then you would be teaching men? Thank you so much.

You’re very welcome. Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad my materials have been helpful, and it is my pleasure to serve you -and all of my readers- in Christ.

Let’s clear up a few things it sounds like you might be confused about or conflating, and I’ll share with you some resources that will give you fully-orbed answers to the several different questions implicit in your comment:

โ—‡ Scripture’s prohibition against women instructing men in the Scriptures has a very specific context: in the gathering of the church body. There are many differences between the home and the church. They are two separate entities God has established in different ways for different purposes, and we need to keep them separate in our minds, especially when we study Scripture.

It might help to think about some of the obvious differences. Do you take up an offering or observe the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper in your home? Do you submit to your pastor in the same way you submit to your husband? Do you make sure everyone in your church is fed three meals a day and do all their laundry for them? These things may sound silly, but they help to illustrate that the church and the home run differently and have different purposes. Having a private conversation with your husband at home about something biblical you’ve learned (which is fine, biblically) is not the same thing as preaching it to your church from the pulpit (which is not).

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Rock Your Role FAQs

โ—‡ Whether you verbally explain what you’ve learned to your husband, hand him one of my articles to read, or a random man stumbles across my blog and reads it, I am not violating Scripture’s prohibition against teaching men (and neither are you).

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by โ€œTeachingโ€ Men?

โ—‡ As far as sharing with your church or others, there’s certainly no problem with sharing my articles on social media, emailing them to a friend, etc. There’s also no reason you can’t share them with other women at church. However, if you’re going to be sharing them with more than a few other women, or reading one of my articles in a women’s class you teach, etc., run it by your pastor first, as a courtesy. He not only deserves to know what’s going on in his flock, he’s also responsible to God for what’s being taught in His church.

Rock Your Role Series

I answered this same basic question (with a few slight differences) to another reader a few years ago here (second question) in case it’s of interest.

I have been posting Scripture on my Facebook page every morning for the last six months. My friends are both male and female. Sometimes to make a verse more understandable I will explain who is speaking or who is being addressed. Iโ€™m starting to feel uncomfortable when I do this because Iโ€™m afraid Iโ€™m preaching. I check my study Bible before including clarifications to make sure Iโ€™m not misleading anyone. My gut is telling me I need to just state the verse. I pray about it and am wondering if itโ€™s the Spirit convicting me. Thank you for your help.

It’s very important that Christians listen to our consciences so we don’t sin against them. If your conscience bothers you about posting the explanations, by all means, don’t do it. For you to do so would mean that you believe posting the explanations is sin, but you’re going to do it anyway. Don’t do that.

But while it’s important that we not sin against our consciences, it’s equally important that our consciences are informed by rightly handled, in context Scripture. And, in a nutshell, your conscience is a bit misinformed.

Though I wouldn’t suggest going to the extreme of habitually posting lengthy diatribes aimed specifically at men, railing at them about how they can be more godly men, pastors, husbands, or fathers, there’s nothing unbiblical about posting a verse with a few clarifying remarks to a general audience. Biblically, that is not preaching.

I would encourage you to prayerfully consider the materials I’ve provided the previous reader as well as this one Sisters Are Part of the Family of God, Too!. If, after reading, praying, and studying the pertinent Scriptures you still think it’s better not to post the explanations, that’s OK. Don’t. If your conscience is clear, and you decide it’s OK to post them, then you can do that. A few other options you might consider that your conscience may find acceptable:

  • Post enough of the surrounding verses to make the context clear so you don’t have to explain.
  • Use brackets. This is a perfectly acceptable grammatical device, especially in an informal setting like social media. For example: if the verse begins, “And he said to them…” and it’s clear from the surrounding context that it’s Jesus speaking to the disciples, then bracket that part of the verse with the antecedents replacing the pronouns for clarity: “And [Jesus] said to [the disciples]…”.
  • Use a direct quote from your study Bible or a reliable commentary instead of using your own words. Remember to use quotation marks, and cite your source.
  • When you post the verse, include a link to a (doctrinally sound) sermon, article, Bible study video / podcast, etc. that explains the verse and its context.


I have found myself in the situation of looking for another church because of women being allowing to preach occasionally in our current church, but my husband wants to remain. Should I come under his authority and remain also or do you think itโ€™s ok to follow my own convictions? I feel somewhat conflicted.

I’m so sorry. I know that must be really difficult. Sadly, this is an issue wives face more often than you’d think. I hope these articles, though they may not match your situation exactly, will be of help to you.

The Mailbag: My husband wants to stay at an unbiblical church.

The Mailbag: A Lost Husband, a Saved Wife, and an Apostate Church


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Faith, Parenting

Wayback Wednesday ~ Follow On

Originally published July 29, 2010

Again the next day John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as He walked, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus. And Jesus turned and saw them following, and said to them, “What do you seek?” They said to Him, “Rabbi (which translated means Teacher), where are You staying?” He said to them, “Come, and you will see.” So they came and saw where He was staying; and they stayed with Him that day, for it was about the tenth hour. John 1:35-39

When we speak of “following Jesus” today, we mean that we follow in His footsteps figuratively. We keep His teachings. We obey Him. We submit to His leadership.

But when Jesus was physically present on earth, people were literally able to follow Him. Around. As in, walking right behind Him. Maybe even stepping on the backs of His sandals like my children do to me sometimes.

Which got me to thinking. Why do people follow other people around? And who are these people who follow other people around? And why are my children and my dog always following me around? And why does it annoy me when my children and my dog follow me around? (Ok, I haven’t figured that one out yet, but there’s some kind of a sin issue in there somewhere, I’m sure.)

Who?
First of all, you don’t usually see an adult following another adult around unless one of them is a stalker. But there are a some occasions in which it might be appropriate and legal, for example, if the person being followed is a tour guide, or if the person being followed is a seasoned employee training a new hire. Much of the time, literal followers are children. And at my house, the dog.

Why?
Why do people follow people around? Think about it– have you ever followed somebody around? Why did you do it? Do people follow you around? Why do they do it?

People generally follow another person around because:

a.) they are interested in what that person is doing,
or
b.) they want to learn from that person,
or
c.) they have no idea where they’re going and the person they’re following does. 

That’s why people followed Jesus around. They had heard that he spoke and taught as no one ever had before. They had heard about the miracles and healings. They were curious. Were the rumors true? What might they see? Would Jesus do something for them?

For some, that initial interest blossomed into a desire to sit under the tutelage of Jesus. They couldn’t get enough of His teaching, so these first century groupies followed him from speaking engagement to speaking engagement.

Certainly, none of the people who followed Jesus around had a clue as to where they were going, spiritually speaking. Jesus did. He not only knew the way to the kingdom of God, He was the Way. Who better to follow?

So why do my children and my dog follow me around?

Well, my dog follows me around because hope springs eternal in her that I will drop food on the floor, or that one miraculous day, the meal I’m cooking in the kitchen will actually be for her. She’s not interested in learning anything from me and she knows her way around the house just fine.

My children follow me around for the same basic reasons people followed Jesus around. They’re curious. They want to know what I’m doing, and they hope it will be something fun that will involve them. When they’re young, even cooking, sweeping, and folding the laundry seem interesting to them (yeah, my kids don’t get out much) and they want to learn how to do it just like Mom. When we’re in an unfamiliar place, they follow me because they don’t know how to get where we’re going, and I do.

Which makes me think.

How am I walking? Am I walking the way Jesus walked? Do I walk uprightly? Do I walk in integrity?  Do I walk blamelessly?

Do I follow Jesus so closely that by following me around, my children can learn to follow Him too?

Abuse, Homosexuality, Mailbag, Sin

The Mailbag: Perversion-palooza Potpourri

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.


It’s June, and you know what that means: perversion-palooza [aka “Pride”] month. What does the Bible say about these and other issues of sexual immorality? How should your church be addressing them? What can you say if a loved one lives in this kind of sin or has been victimized by it? Here’s a roundup of Mailbag articles and other resources that may help.


Can you give me a basic overview of what the Bible says about sexuality and sexual immorality?

Basic Training: Homosexuality, Gender Identity, and Other Sexualย Immorality

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinnerย atย A Word Fitly Spoken


Any resources for offering a biblical apologetic against homosexuality?

Movie Tuesday: Audacity


Is it possible to be a “gay Christian”?

The Hole in World Visionโ€™s Gospel

An Apology, A Request for Forgiveness, and Someย Clarifications

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken


Does God love homosexuals?

God Loves Gays


How can Christians best show homosexuals the love of Christ?

Cancer: A Love Story


Can you give me some general principles and Scriptures for relating to friends and loved ones who live a lifestyle of sexual immorality?

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinnerย atย A Word Fitly Spoken

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken


How does the legalization of same sex “marriage” impact homosexuals and Christians?

SCOTUS to Rule on Same Sex โ€œMarriageโ€: A Call to Prayer and Godly Response


Should Christians attend a homosexual (or “trans”) “wedding” as a guest?

The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend A Homosexual Wedding?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Talk Back: Alistair Begg at A Word Fitly Spoken


Should a Christian employee work at a homosexual โ€œweddingโ€?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Spanking, Women teaching men, Working a homosexual โ€œweddingโ€โ€ฆ) (section 4)


How can Christians navigate Gay Pride Month?

Glad you Asked: Pride, Parenting, Evangelism and Denying Self at A Word Fitly Spoken


A friend or relative wants me to use an opposite sex name and pronouns for him (or her). Is that biblical?

The Mailbag: Whatโ€™s In aย Name?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken


I suspect someone has surgically altered her body to appear to be the opposite sex.

The Mailbag: Lady looks like a dude?


Should a man who presents himself as a woman be allowed to attend women’s events at church?

The Mailbag: Guess whoโ€™s coming to (the womenโ€™s ministry)ย dinner?


How should we handle church roles when it comes to medically intersex people?

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguousย Anatomy


Can you point me to some biblical resources on pornography?

Biblical Resources on Pornography


My husband wants me to watch porn with him to spice up our sex life. Should I?

The Mailbag: Should Christian Couples Watch Pornographyย Together?


I’m including these resources on sexual abuse in this article because the abuse itself is a perversion of biblical sexuality and because the sexual sins addressed above can lead to abuse. If you were victimized by an abuser, you are not guilty of perversion, an act of perversion was committed against you.

What are some practical ways to prevent sexual abuse at my church?

Preventative Measures: 6 Steps SBC Churches Can Take to Prevent Sexual Abuse (Most of this applies to any church)


I know a woman who is a victim of sexual abuse. How can I help her biblically? (If the victim is a man, much of this still applies, but refer him to your pastor so a godly man can help and disciple him.)

From Victimhood to Victory: Biblically Helping Abused Womenย Heal

Band-Aids vs. Chemotherapy: Why Suffering Women are Drawn to False Doctrine and 7 Things We Can do to Help.

4 Ways Christian Advocates for Victims of Abuse Need to Get Biblically Back onย Track


My husband and I are having sexual problems that stem from the fact that I was molested as a child. What should I do?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Sexual abuse, Feminism, Serpent seed doctrineโ€ฆ) 3rd section


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Uncategorized

Blog Announcement

Hi friends- just wanted to let you know I’m taking a little time off this week (May 21-23) and next week (May 28-30). My son’s wedding is this weekend, and next week, I’m off to the G3 Women’s Expository Teaching Workshop, so I’ll be playing hooky (“Hook,” “key”. Get the picture? :0) from the blog and, to some degree, from social media.

In the meantime, there’s plenty to explore here in the archives and we’ve got new episodes of A Word Fitly Spoken -our last two before we take our annual summer break- dropping this week and next.

Y’all be good while I’m gone, and I’ll be back soon.โค๏ธ

Uncategorized

Blog Orientation for New Readers and Old Friends

I try to run this article every so often to orient new followers (and old friends who havenโ€™t yet explored all the nooks and crannies of the blog) to the various features and information available here. I hope youโ€™ll find these resources helpful.

Welcome Tabย If you havenโ€™t had a chance to read theย Welcome & FAQs- Start Hereย tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, itโ€™s a good way to get acclimated to the blog quickly. Youโ€™ll learn some fast facts about me, my comment and e-mail policies, and more.

Comments, E-mails, Social Media Messagesย If youโ€™ve sent me an e-mail, submitted a comment on one of my articles, or sent me a private message on social media and I havenโ€™t responded to the message or published the comment, this is why:ย E-mail, Messages, and Blog Comments Policyย (Plus additional helpful information)

The search bar is your friend.ย If you want to know my take on something or whether Iโ€™ve written on a particular person or topic, the search bar is the best place to start and much faster than e-mailing or messaging me. Theย search barย is located at the very bottom of every blog page.ย There’s also a tab labeled Search Bar in the blue menu bar at the top of the blog.

The tabs at the top are your friends, too.ย The tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of the blog are designed to provide quick information to many of the questions Iโ€™m most frequently asked.

โ€œWhat do you think of Teacher X?โ€ย Probably the largest volume of questions I get is readers wanting to know my take on particular teachers and ministries. I would love to be able to respond immediately to each one, but it takes a tremendous amount of time to research these folks. Because I know you need answers right away, and because every Christian should know how to research teachers for herself (you should never just blindly take anyoneโ€™s word {including mine} that someone is a false teacher), if you canโ€™t find the information youโ€™re looking for on a certain teacher at theย Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trendsย tab at the top of this page or by using theย search bar, Iโ€™ve written this article to help you research teachers for yourself:ย Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring it Out on Your Own.

โ€œDiscernment is for doody-heads!โ€ย I understand itโ€™s not easy to be told that a pastor/teacher/author youโ€™ve grown to love is a false teacher. Iโ€™ve been in that position myself. But Christians are people of the Book. That means we measure everything byย Scripture, not by our personal preferences, feelings, or opinions. Iโ€™ve written numerous articles on teachers and ministries which can be found under theย Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trendsย tab (and, just a few of the many awesome teachers out there are under theย Recommended Bible Teachersย tab). I donโ€™t warn against false teachers because Iโ€™m a hater. I do it because itโ€™s Scriptural and because I love the Christian women who are being victimized โ€“ often without even knowing it โ€“ by false teachers. I tend to hear the same objections to my discernment articles over and over and over again.ย Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objectionsย answers, from Scripture, the objections people raise to my discernment articles. (I donโ€™t answer e-mails or publish comments that are answered by this article.)

Church Ladiesย Complementarianism can be difficult to navigate in a feminist world and an increasingly feminist church. You might find myย Rock Your Roleย article series helpful, since it deals with the Scriptures governing womenโ€™s roles in the church. I keepย Rock Your Role FAQsย updated, so long time readers might be interested in giving that one a re-read.

Searching for a new church?ย It can be really hard to find a doctrinally sound church these days, and Iโ€™d like to do everything I can to help. Check out theย Searching for a new church?ย tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Youโ€™ll find tons of resources on what to look for in a good church, several church search engines, and churches recommended by readers.

Podcastย Need something to listen to?ย Amy Spreemanย and I have a weekly podcast calledย A Word Fitly Spoken.ย Click theย Podcastย tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page to check it out.

Conferences/Events Want to see if I’ll be speaking at an event near you? Check out the Calendar of Events at myย Speaking Engagementsย tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page for more information.

Speaking Engagements/Podcastsย Iโ€™d love to come speak at your Christian womenโ€™s conference, to the ladies of your church, or on your Christian podcast. Check out myย Speaking Engagementsย tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page for more information.

Let’s Get Social Join me on social media! All of my direct links are at the Contact and Social Media tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. I’m currently on Facebook, X, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube. I’m most active on X, least active on YouTube. (I maintain accounts at MeWe and Gab in the event I’m kicked off Facebook and Twitter, but I don’t interact or post on those platforms any more.) At the moment, I have no plans to get on any other platforms. New ones are popping up every day, and it takes an enormous amount of time to maintain the ones I’m already on.

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