What better way to celebrate Reformation Day and biblical womanhood than to combine the two? Today, we’re going to take a look at some women in Reformation history and in biblical history who exemplified biblical womanhood by influencing others toward godliness.
Choose any of the women below and read their stories (click on their names). Then consider the following questions:
1. In what ways did this woman exemplify biblical womanhood in her culture, context, circumstances, family situation, or church?
2. Which godly character traits or Fruit of the Spirit were especially obvious in her life, words, and actions?
3. Which Scripture passages come to mind as you read this woman’s story? In what ways did she live these Scriptures out (or fail to live them out)?
4. Are there any instances of sin in this woman’s story? If so, how can you learn from what she did wrong and avoid this sin in your own life?
5. How does this woman set a godly example that you can apply to your own life?
6. In what ways did this woman point someone to Jesus, serve the Kingdom, or help God’s people?
You remember the story. Jesus comes to Mary and Martha’s house. Martha’s Pinteresting up the place while Mary sits at Jesus’ feet to listen to Him teach. Martha gripes to Jesus that Mary should help her and Jesus says no because it’s better for her to listen to Him than fold napkins into the shape of swans or whatever. Moral of the story- Martha needs to relax and not let other things distract her from Jesus.
That’s a good, true, and important takeaway from this passage, and one that we would all do well to heed.
But did you ever stop to think that Mary and Martha aren’t the main characters in this story? Jesus is. Jesus is the main character in every Bible story, so our primary focus should always be on Him: what He said and did and was like.
Did you ever stop to think that Mary and Martha aren’t the main characters in this story? Jesus is.
What was Jesus teaching that day at Mary and Martha’s house? The passage doesn’t tell us the topic He was speaking about, but we are privy to a very important lesson He imparted through the scenario with Mary and Martha. A lesson about the way God loves and values women.
Remember how women were generally regarded at that time? They didn’t have much more value than livestock, furniture, or a man’s other possessions. They were considered intellectually inferior, they weren’t formally educated, and their legal and social standing were often tenuous at best. They could not go beyond the Court of the Women at the temple for worship. There was even a traditional prayer Jewish men recited in which they thanked God for not making them a woman, a Gentile, or a slave. Women were low man on the totem pole, so to speak.
And that’s where we find Martha. She wasn’t doing anything wrong that day. In fact, in her culture, she was doing everything right. If anything, Mary would have been the one viewed as being in the wrong because the teaching was for the men, and it was the women’s job to bustle around taking care of all the hospitality duties. Martha knew this. Mary knew this. Jesus knew this. Everyone else present knew this. Martha must have wondered why someone hadn’t yet shooed Mary out of the living room and into the kitchen. So her statement to Jesus in verse 40, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me,” was probably not just, “I need another pair of hands,” but also a bit of, “Mary is forgetting her place. This isn’t what proper women do.”
Oh yes, it is.
Whatever else He might have been lecturing about that day, that was one of the lessons Jesus taught Mary, Martha, the rest of their guests, and Christendom at large.
Women aren’t second class citizens in the Kingdom of God. We are precious and valuable to Him. He has important, worthwhile work for us to do – His way – in the body of Christ. And He wants us trained in His Word in order to carry out that work.
How did Jesus teach that lesson?
First, He allowed Mary to stay and receive His teaching (39). (We see this echoed in God’s instruction to the church in 1 Timothy 2:11: “LET a woman learn…”) It hadn’t slipped Jesus’ mind that she was sitting there. He could have told her to leave, but He had no intention of doing so. Jesus wanted Mary there. He wanted to teach her and to have her learn God’s word from Him.
Next, when someone tried to take Mary away from hearing and being trained in God’s word, Jesus – God Himself – answered with a resounding NO. This “will not be taken away from her,” Jesus said. Mary, and Martha too (41), could arrange centerpieces or turn a cookie into a work of art any time or never. But this, the teaching of God’s Word, was urgent. Vital. Jesus didn’t want either of them to miss it by focusing on the trivial things they thought they should be pursuing.
And He doesn’t want us to miss it either, ladies.
Jesus pulled women out of the craft room and into the study. Is the women’s ministry at your church trying to pull them back?
Jesus pulled women out of the craft room and into the study. Is the women’s ministry at your church trying to pull them back?
Is the women’s events page on your church’s web site filled exclusively with painting parties, fashion shows, ladies’ teas, and scrapbook sessions?
Does your women’s ministry do canned “Bible” studies authored by women who offer nothing but personal stories, experiences, and false doctrine?
Are the Marys in your church who want to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word rightly handled and taught being scolded by the Marthas for not staying in their place and embracing the banality the women’s ministry is doling out?
Are the Marys in your church who want to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word rightly handled and taught being scolded by the Marthas for not staying in their place and embracing the banality the women’s ministry is doling out?
Is this it? Is this all women are good for in the church- fluff and false doctrine?
Jesus didn’t think so.
Let’s have our women’s ministries train women in the full scope of biblical womanhood. Let’s be serious students of God’s Word by picking it up and studying it like mature women. Let’s get equipped to teach and disciple other women who are babes in Christ. Let’s share the gospel with the lost. Let’s learn how to train our own children in the Scriptures and be the ones to raise the bar for what the kids at our church are being taught. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty ministering to those who are ill, in prison, lonely, poor, elderly, considering abortion, experiencing crisis; who have wayward children, problems in their marriages, a parent with Alzheimer’s, or have lost a loved one.
Is this it? Is this all women are good for in the church- fluff and false doctrine?
Women are worth more and capable of more than the bill of goods they’re being sold by “Christian” retailers suggests. More than cutesy crafts and fairy tales masquerading as biblical teaching. Let’s put the “ministry” – ministry of the Word and ministry to others – back in “women’s ministry.”
Women are worth more and capable of more than the bill of goods they’re being sold by “Christian” retailers suggests.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
Is the epistle of 2 John addressed to a female pastor? I just read a social media debate on this topic. One poster is focusing on the “children” in the verse, seeing them as God’s spiritual children (the church) and only considering the “chosen” or “elected” lady as the leader/pastor of the church. I took “chosen or elect” to mean she’s a “godly” woman, one predestined (chosen by God) like other believers.
Great question! It is so important to pay attention to details like this in Scripture.
No, 2 John is not addressed to a female “pastor”. If it were, it would be a stern letter of rebuke because such a woman would be in egregious sin and rebellion. The verses that are being twisted in an attempt to argue this fallacy are parts of verses 1, 4-5, and maybe a bit of 13:
The elder to the elect lady and her children … some of your children … I ask you, dear lady … The children of your elect sister greet you.
Excerpted from 2 John 1, 4-5, 13
You are definitely on the right track in your thinking. Some people think 2 John was written to a church and John was riffing off the “church as the Bride of Christ” metaphor by using this female personification of the church. “Elect” or “chosen lady” would then mean elect or chosen in the sense that the church is elect or chosen out of the world. This “lady’s” “children” would, metaphorically, be the members of that church.
Others think 2 John was written to a particular woman in the church, namely the woman who had offered her home as a place for the church to meet. Verse 10 would be a good fit with this idea, warning her that, though it was customary and good Christian hospitality to open her home to godly pastors and teachers who were traveling around and needed a place to stay, that she should not extend hospitality to those preaching a false gospel. This individual woman would be elect or chosen in the sense that every individual Christian is elect or chosen. Her “children” would be understood to be her own biological children.
Personally, I can see where a good argument could be made for both of these perspectives, and that maybe John had both in mind as God moved him to write this letter.
But whichever perspective you lean toward, one thing we know for sure is that it was not written to a female “pastor”. John would not have commended someone that Paul’s epistles rebuke. That would make Scripture contradict itself, and, thus, God contradict Himself, since He is the author of Scripture. And we know that can’t happen.
How would you respond (or how have you responded) when someone prefers to be called by the opposite gender?
I had a man correct my daughter (she’s only 2, almost 3) today because she referred to him as “he”. I told him out of deep love for him I could not in good conscience refer to him as “her,” but how do I explain that to an almost 3 year old? How have you informed your kids about this? Would love any feedback you have on this.
I do not envy you young moms who are having to deal with things like this with your small children. My youngest child is 19, so this was not an issue when he or any of his older siblings were toddlers or even young teens. Isn’t it amazing how fast the world has plunged headlong into this depth of sin?
I think you handled the situation just fine, and with a two or three year old who likely had zero memory of this incident the next day, you probably don’t even need to broach the subject. But if you do, I would suggest keeping your focus broad and shallow. “Honey, you need to whisper to me when you have a question about another person, or wait until later to ask. That person’s feelings might get hurt, and we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings if we can avoid it.”.
Honestly, for a two or three year old, even the part about hurting someone else’s feelings is going to go right over her head (as is the “wait until later” part, and she’s also unlikely to remember the “whisper to me” part for the future). Children that young rarely have the capacity to grasp the concept that another person even has feelings. They certainly aren’t going to understand the concept of adults “identifying” as the opposite sex. This is really not something you need to worry about trying to explain to her at this young age, and no amount of talking or explaining is going to keep a pre-schooler from verbalizing any and every thought that comes to mind. Ask any parent – that’s just what they do at that age.
In another year or two, if you encounter a person like this again and your daughter asks you why that man is dressed like a woman, you might say something like,
“Well, you know how sometimes you think you’d like to be a dog or a fairy princess instead of a little girl so that’s what you pretend to be? Do you ever see Mommy doing that? No? That’s because when we grow up, the Bible tells us we’re to put childish ways behind us. We’re to be happy with the way God made us and do our best to love Him and serve Him as the person He created us to be.
It’s really sad, but sometimes a boy [or vice versa for a girl] who doesn’t know God will grow up and think he would rather be a lady than a man, kind of like you think you’d rather be a fairy princess or a dog than a little girl. But instead of acting like a grown up and asking God to help him be happy with the way He made him, the man will dress up like a lady and pretend to be a lady. Let’s take a moment to pray for him, that He will come to know Jesus and be happy that God made him a man.”
My church is looking at getting our women’s ministry off the ground and I was asked to be on the team. Do you have any pointers for what works best for your women’s ministry? I definitely want the focus to be growing women in the Word, but I’m unsure how to go about structuring the meeting.
I’m going to give you some resources below that can help jump start your brainstorming, but first a few very simple suggestions:
Trust God and pray for wisdom and direction. God promises to give them to you if you ask, so why not take Him up on His offer?
Gather your ladies together (or create a survey and email it out) and ask them what sort of structure or class would be most helpful to them.
With their feedback in hand, talk things over with your pastor. He should be able to give you some guidance that’s tailor made for the ladies at your particular church.
The small church I pastor in the process of launching a women’s ministry and I’m curious if there are any specific video studies led by women that you recommend. I hope to compose a menu of studies for them. Thanks for your assistance.
In case anyone is confused, this email is from a (male) pastor, not a woman pretending to be a pastor. Just wanted to clear that up, there. :0)
Brother pastor, my husband is a retired worship pastor, and God always had us at small churches too, so I not only sympathize with the challenges small churches face, but I also have a lot of experience with women’s ministry at small churches.
And still, I encourage women’s ministries (men’s ministries too, if that were my wheelhouse) not to use what I call “canned” studies (workbooks, videos, etc.) but to study and teach straight from the text of Scripture itself. That’s the primary reason why, on principle, I don’t make recommendations for any women’s Bible study materials other than the Bible itself. The second reason I don’t recommend “canned” studies is that, as you have probably discovered in your search, the overwhelming majority of women’s “Bible” studies are authored by false teachers and consist mainly of fluff and false doctrine. Even if I wanted to make recommendations, it would be nearly impossible.
What I would recommend instead is that you find at least one woman, and maybe up to five or six women, should your church be so blessed, who are spiritually mature and seem to have the gift of teaching, and begin training them to rightly handle and teach Scripture to other women, since this is the biblical instruction we’re given.
As they’re learning, you may wish to take them through or have them practice teaching some of the Bible studies I’ve written as “training wheels” to help them learn. My studies (all free) are designed to teach women how to study straight from the text of Scripture in a “learn by doing” way. Once they get the hang of it, they’ll never have to rely on anyone else’s materials again, even mine! Plus, they’ll eventually be able to teach other women how to teach the Bible. Here are some other resources I think will help:
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
If you are considering commenting or sending me an e-mail objecting to the fact that I warn against certain teachers, please click here and read this article first. Your objection is most likely answered here. I won’t be publishing comments or answering emails that are answered by this article.
This article is kept continuously updated as needed.
I get lots of questions about particular authors, pastors, and Bible teachers, and whether or not I recommend them. Some of the best known can be found above at my Popular False Teachers tab. The teacher below is someone I’ve been asked about recently, so I’ve done some research on her.
Generally speaking, in order for me to recommend a teacher, speaker, or author, he or she has to meet three criteria:
a) A female teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly preach to or teach men in violation of 1 Timothy 2:12. A male teacher or pastor cannot allow women to carry out this violation of Scripture in his ministry. The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be living in any other sin (for example, cohabiting with her boyfriend or living as a homosexual).
b) The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be partnering with or frequently appearing with false teachers. This is a violation of Scripture.
c) The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be teaching false doctrine.
In some cases, I am not very familiar with the teachers I’m asked about (there are so many out there!) and have not had the opportunity to examine their writings or hear them speak, so most of the research I do involves items a and b (although in order to partner with false teachers (b) it is reasonable to assume their doctrine is acceptable to the false teacher and that they are not teaching anything that would conflict with the false teacher’s doctrine). Partnering with false teachers and women preaching to men are each sufficient biblical reasons not to follow a pastor, teacher, or author, or use his/her materials.
Just to be clear, “not recommended” is a spectrum. On one end of this spectrum are people like Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth and Kay Arthur. These are people I would not label as false teachers because their doctrine is generally sound, but because of some red flags I’m seeing with them, you won’t find me proactively endorsing them or suggesting them as a good resource, either. There are better people you could be listening to. On the other end of the spectrum are people like Joyce Meyer and Rachel Held Evans- complete heretics whose teachings, if believed, might lead you to an eternity in Hell. Most of the teachers I review fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum (leaning toward the latter).
If you’d like to check out some pastors and teachers I heartily recommend, click the Recommended Bible Teachers tab at the top of this page.
Kristi is on the Ministry Leadership faculty at Williamson (screenshot), where she teaches classes in “Goals, Priorities, and Attitudes,” “The Life of Christ, the “Israel Biblical Study Program,” and “Living Free in Christ”. One can only presume that since Williamson is co-ed, the college is fine with her “preaching,” and the fact that she’s training students in “Ministry Leadership,” that she is helping train men for the pastorate.
…and the bestselling author of” several books and Bible studies. “Kristi teaches the Bible in its historical, cultural, geographic, and linguistic contexts. She encourages believers to be postured to receive what the living God is saying through communally experiencing Scripture. Kristi teaches about the goodness of God, often experienced through table fellowship, practicing hospitality, and collaborative wisdom.”
“…Kristi has taught and shepherded thousands…Kristi began leading biblical study trips to Israel in 2008. Her study trips to the biblical lands, along with her Pearls podcast and in-person and online courses, help Westerners discover and appreciate the Bible within the framework in which it was written. This new lens offers a deeper look into what the biblical characters meant by what they did, said, and wrote, inviting us to better experience the God who is constantly pursuing us. Kristi has a Masters in Christian Education from Dallas Theological Seminary and has dedicated her life to teaching people how to study the Bible.”
I’ve added bold italics to several words and phrases above to highlight some red flags. Often, you can surmise, with some level of accuracy, what are going to be the biblical issues with a teacher you’re not familiar with merely by reading the “about” page of her website.
You’ll notice the heavy emphasis on “experiencing” God rather than growing in Christ through the study and teaching of His written Word, prayer, and sound preaching and teaching at church.
The Bible doesn’t teach us to be “postured to receive what the living God is saying” (i.e. to me, personally, today, in a self-centered hermeneutic). This is another phrase that suggests extra-biblical revelation via personal, subjective experience rather than studying the text of Scripture to discover what God has already said.
In Scripture, “shepherding” is a term reserved for literal shepherds, Jesus, and pastors, not just anyone who leads or teaches in a church or parachurch ministry, and not for women who rebel against Scripture and unbiblically insert themselves into the position of pastor (as is the case with Kristi). You will not find this term implied or applied to women anywhere in the New Testament.
Kristi says she teaches “people” how to study the Bible. Not “women”. “People” – men and women.
When someone tells you who she is, believe her.
Kristi Is a Female “Pastor”
Kristi doesn’t merely preach to men at co-ed events like most of the other female teachers I write about, she has actually been on staff at a church for several years in the position of “Teaching Pastor”. This is a clear and direct violation of Scripture and constitutes ongoing, unrepentant sin.
Kristi preached her first recorded sermon at COTC on February 4, 2018. Up until at least April 27, 2025, Kristi held the position of “Teaching Pastor” at Church of the City in Franklin, Tennessee. Sometime between February 26, 2025, when I took this screenshot of the “Pastoral & Ministry Staff” page at COTC’s website…
…Kristi was removed from the “Pastoral & Ministry Staff” page. Her April 27, 2025 “sermon” is currently the most recent one at COTC’s YouTube channel, and it still introduces her as “Teaching Pastor”:
Whether Kristi has actually resigned her position or has merely been removed from the staff page to avoid being called to account for her sin remains to be seen.
Prior to working as a “pastor” at COTC, Kristi was on staff at Strong Tower Bible Church in Nashville, Tennessee. Though Kristi didn’t “carry the title of pastor,” p.3, of the October 2013 church newsletter is careful to tell us*, according to her LinkedIn page, she was the “Director of Women’s Ministry and Adult Christian Education [i.e. discipleship],” which, in addition to the fact that she was occasionally preaching the Sunday sermon at least as early as 2015, indicates that she was functioning in the role of a pastor, even without the title.1
*(Readers might find it interesting that STBC was careful to make clear that none of the women they referred to in 2013 were pastors, yet today, STBC’s female “pastors” are proudly listed on the church website and outnumber the lone male pastor three to one {the pastor’s wife is also the “Pastor of Belonging”}. This is what happens when a church begins allowing women to take on roles the Bible restricts to men.)
This is probably overstating the obvious since I’ve already mentioned that, as a member of the “Ministry Leadership” faculty at Williamson College, Kristi helps train men for the pastorate, and, that as a “pastor” on staff at two different churches, she obviously preached to men, so I won’t belabor the point, but we will press on.
Kristi regularly and unrepentantly violates Scripture by preaching to and instructing men in the Scriptures. Here are just a few of the scores of examples available:
Church of the City
(Obviously, in each example, there are men in the audience since these are all sermons during the church worship service.)
Below is a partial listing of the sermon archives at the COTC website for Kristi’s many “sermons” – nearly 70 of them at this time. Kristi has also taught – also nearly 70 times – COTC Daily, a church-wide daily Bible teaching video.
Kristi’s earliest recorded “sermon” at the COTC website: February 4, 2018…
Mother’s Day, May 9, 2021– 54:51: In case you still aren’t convinced Kristi preaches to men, she is happy to settle that for you once and for all. “This teaching is not just for women. So can I just hear some noise from all the men in the room to let me know that you’re here?”
The Lord’s Supper
Perhaps one of the most viscerally vile aspects of a woman pillaging the pulpit is the stomach-turning scene of her desecrating the Lord’s Table by presiding over it. Kristi has administered the Lord’s Supper numerous times at COTC. here are just a few examples:
July 17, 2022 124:59: COTC apparently practices open communion (anyone present is invited to participate regardless of whether or not the person is saved). The elements have already been placed at everyone’s seat, and Kristi says nothing to fence the table (i.e. at a bare minimum, explain that only those who are Believers should partake). There’s also no explanation of the gospel or a call to repent and believe it.
Although I haven’t run across any photos or video of Kristi performing baptisms at COTC, it’s reasonable to assume that she has or that she at least would be allowed to if she wanted to, because there’s plenty of video of other female “pastors” of COTC performing baptisms, and Kristi certainly performs baptisms in other venues.
Baptism, like the Lord’s Supper, is an ordinance of the local church, not an individualized personal activity, and should be presided over within the parameters of the church by pastors and elders. What you see below is neither.
A Weekend with Kristi McLelland at Discovery Church, Newton, North Carolina. The first night was “a co-ed event where both men and women are able to learn a new way to look a (sic) scripture (sic).”
A few different “sermons” at Journey Church in Brentwood, TN. Here’s one where she’s introduced by Journey’s “Pastor Susie”:
Feast is the branding for Kristi’s Lifeway Women conference tour, this year in Denver, Ft. Worth, and Atlanta. At the FAQ page, a frequently asked question is “Can men attend this event?”. Answer: “Men are more than welcome to attend…”.2
Cruise with Kristi McLelland: Voyage Through the New Testament World is coming up in April 2026. Since the Lifeway info. page doesn’t specify that this event is limited to women (and since they use the “Kristi teaches people” {rather than women} phraseology at least twice), I emailed and asked, point blank, if the cruise is open to men and if men are allowed to attend Kristi’s teaching sessions.2
The Bible commands us over and over not to associate ourselves or have anything to do with false teachers or those who claim to be Christians, yet live in willful unrepentant sin (persistent false teaching, including the false teaching of women “pastoring” or “preaching to men3, being one of those sins). In fact, to associate with false teachers and fail to rebuke them for their false doctrine disqualifies pastors from ministry. Dare we expect any less from female teachers?
Unfortunately, unrepentantly yoking with other false teachers is another sin Kristi unrepentantly engages in. Teachers are under a stricter judgment, and this is another disqualifying sin.
By her own choice, Kristi’s life and ministry are absolutely saturated with false and problematic teachers, virtually to the exclusion of doctrinally sound teachers. But even if she wanted to partner with doctrinally sound teachers, she wouldn’t be able to find one who would be willing. Doctrinally sound teachers don’t partner with women who unrepentantly rebel against Scripture by becoming “pastors”.
There are so many examples of Kristi partnering with other false teachers that it would be impossible to cite them all, but here is a sampling:
Kristi is a frequent guest on TBN’s Better Together. If you’re not familiar, it’s a little bit like a “Christian” version of The View without the studio audience. A group of several (varying) women’s “Bible” study celebrities discuss life issues and biblical topics. And, par for the course for TBN, they’re all problematic at best, raging heretics at worst. (There’s a reason TBN is often wryly dubbed the “Total Blasphemy Network”.)
To date, Kristi has appeared on at least 46 episodes of Better Together (you can watch excerpts here) with false teachers including:
And more episodes are upcoming. Here’s Kristi’s Instagram reel from April 9 on the set where she, Lisa Harper, Toni Collier, and others are about to film more episodes.
Lifeway Women is the women’s division of Lifeway, and an entity of the Southern Baptist Convention (like our seminaries, mission boards, etc., are entities). It is the online platform for all things women’s ministry – Bible studies, women’s conferences, a blog, a podcast, and so on – for use and purchase by individuals and churches.
I’ve researched and written articles on about 2/3 of the women Lifeway Women platforms, enough to tell you that the prototypical women’s author/speaker they seek out – to to write their women’s “Bible” studies, speak at their women’s conferences and so on – preaches to men, teaches false doctrine, and yokes with other false teachers, all of which violates Scripture. Additionally, some are woke (like Jackie Hill Perry) and at least one identifies as a “same sex attracted Christian” (Rebecca McLaughlin). I recommend that women use Lifeway Women’s endorsement as a litmus test of who to avoid.
Kristi’s earliest appearance at Lifeway Women seems to have been a July 2, 2019 blog article called Creating Space for Sabbath. This was probably around the time Lifeway Women signed her as a women’s “Bible” study author, as Lifeway staff confirmed to me that they published her first study, Jesus & Women in “early 2020”.
As I mentioned previously, Kristi was preaching to men and functioning as a “pastor” at least as early as 2015. In this February 2023 video, she says (39:12) that she’s “in my 6th year” of being on the teaching staff of COTC Franklin, which would mean she was hired there in 2018, before Lifeway Women brought her on board.
What does that mean, my fellow Southern Baptists, and why should you care? That means that Lifeway Women knewKristi was currently working as a “pastor” when they decided to platform her. And despite our crystal clear statement of faith, the Baptist Faith and Message, which states unequivocally that only biblically qualified men may be pastors, they went ahead and hired her to teach and disciple Southern Baptist (and other) women anyway, and have continued to employ and platform her, knowing she’s a “pastor,” for the past 6-7 years.2
(If you’re not already outraged over all of that, I would encourage you to spend some time pondering this high-handed, flagrant, and audacious slap-in-the-face sin against Almighty God and every Southern Baptist on the planet, and ask the Lord to stir up in you a good, holy, righteous, zealous fury in this matter for the glory of His name and His Word, and the sake of His precious daughters. This is spiritual abuse, and we’ve been played.)
Of course, as a Lifeway Women platformed author/speaker, Kristi has been a guest on numerous episodes of Marked and other Lifeway Women productions. Most recently, Kristi did a seven week stint on Marked teaching her study, The Gospel on the Ground.
Lifeway Women Live 2020
Lifeway Women Live 2021. Photo courtesy of Lifeway Newsroom. Seated L-R: Jackie Hill Perry, Angie Smith, Kristi McLelland, and Ruth Chou Simons
2022- Kristi speaks at the Kerygma Summit women’s conference with false teachers Christine Caine and Lisa Harper, founder of the conference. In the Greek, “kerygma” means to preach the good news. And considering the fact that Kristi is a “pastor” and Christine and Lisa both preach to men, I’m sure the emphasis of the conference is on “preach” rather than “good news”.
2023- Speaking again with Christine Caine and Lisa Harper at Grace Family Church in Tampa, Florida (another church with women “pastors”) at The Beautiful Conference.
Spent the weekend in Rochester, MN at a conference with Kelly Minter. I’ve lost 2 good friends over the last few weeks – Gabe Patillo and Mandisa. It’s hard to go out when you’re grieving, but Kelly and these women were a GIFT to me. We are better together. pic.twitter.com/iENDeyePCz
Kristi on Lisa Harper’s podcast in 2022. Part of the transcript of Lisa’s introduction of Kristi reads: “I first met Kristi…goodness gracious, I think 30 years ago…I’ve been a huge fan ever since last couple of years…By the mercy of God, we’ve gotten to do a lot of life together. Currently, she is not only one of my favorite professors, she’s teaching me how to play pickleball…”
Golf the Mac, “A world class weekend of golf, music, & purpose,” co-ed, no doubt, is coming up in September with Toby Mac*.
*Toby Mac isn’t doctrinally sound. He’s got lots of connections with Bethel, he’s obviously fine with Kristi being a “pastor,” yoking with false teachers, and teaching false doctrine, and there are other issues.
Kristi Teaches False Doctrine
I’ve cited a couple of instances of Kristi’s unbiblical teaching above. Let’s look at a few more.
Extra-Biblical Revelation
The Bible does not teach us that we’re supposed to “hear God speaking to us” outside the pages of Scripture. It teaches us that God’s Word is sufficient. Kristi, however, employs various methods of “hearing from God”.
God supposedly spoke to Kristi as she explains in this December 23, 2018 “sermon” at COTC- (101:50) “I was on a rooftop in India one night watching the sun go down and I had been in a season of prayer about what was next in my life when I heard the Lord, clear as a bell just tell me, “Kristi, it’s time for you to go to seminary.”. And I believe that I heard, in part, because I was postured to receive. I was creating space for the living God to come in and say what He wanted to say, to do what He wanted to do.”
Most Christians have heard the old joke about the guy who wanted God to speak to him. He let his Bible fall open to a random page, closed his eyes and pointed to a verse on the page. He opened his eyes and found his finger on Matthew 27:5: “Judas went out and hanged himself.”. “Well,” he thought to himself, “that couldn’t possibly be God speaking to me. I’ll try again.”. He repeated the process, only to find that this time his finger landed on Luke 10:37: “Go and do thou likewise.”.
The fact that we joke about this points to how silly it is to think God communicates with us this way.
But in an interview and article on The 700 Club on CBN, Taking a Fresh Look at the Holy Land, Kristi explains how she actually used this method and believed it was God speaking to her about a life decision. This is a Bible scholar?
Desperate to hear from the Lord, Kristi opened the Bible and said, “Okay God, I need you to speak to me.” She randomly laid her finger on a scripture, (sic) and it landed on Psalms 78:19 which reads, “Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?” Kristi knew she was hearing from the Lord. Reading how God provided manna from Heaven for His children during their “wilderness” experience comforted her. God was letting her know that He would take care of her if she would only trust Him.
The Enneagram
Though its ubiquity seems to be waning and it will probably soon be relegated to the dust bin along with The Prayer of Jabez and WWJD bracelets, the Enneagram has been a popular fad for the past several years among the divangelista4 set. Unfortunately, the Enneagram is steeped in unbiblical mysticism and undermines the doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture.
…but in this “sermon” at Journey Church, Faith to Let Go (27:00), Kristi says she’s an Enneagram 6.
I didn’t know Enneagram numbers were fluid, but…OK.
Mysticism and Spiritual Formation
Silence. Solitude. Those are words that should make your ears perk up if you hear them in the context of a Bible study or sermon, because they often indicate that you’re being taught some form of Spiritual Formation or unbiblical mysticism. And that’s just what Kristi gives us the tiniest whiff of in this January 26, 2020 “sermon” at COTC, Practicing the Way:
You’ll notice from the beginning that Kristi is not exegeting or expositing a text of Scripture. This is all about personal experience and what people do. In the first 4 1/2 minutes of this “sermon” she asks the audience three or four times to raise their hands if they think X or do Y.
7:52- Kristi actually reads two verses of Scripture, John 5:1-2. They have nothing to do with silence and solitude, and she is basically using them as a springboard to talk about what she really wants to talk about, the geography, archaeology, and architecture related to the passage.
11:43- Kristi does the same thing with John 5:3-6. She uses it as a means to transition into talking about Middle Eastern culture and history.
16:00- Halfway through a 32 minute “sermon” on silence and solitude, Kristi has taught nothing about silence and solitude, she has cited no Scripture that teaches about silence and solitude, and she has taught only architecture, history and culture – and zero exposition of spiritual principles – from John 5:1-6.
16:25- Kristi begins eisegeting her own ideas about wellness and healing into the text:
“‘You know how to live lame. Are you ready to know yourself at full speed? Are you ready to steward the wellness, the healing that I can bring you, and what that’s going to mean for you in your life?’ I think this question finds us often in times of silence and solitude…”
None of that has anything to do with the meaning of John 5:1-6, but Kristi isn’t interested in teaching what this passage actually means (if she were, she would have finished the passage, and would have handled it accurately), she wants to teach her own thoughts, ideas, and stories.
Also, “questions” do not “find you”. Questions are thoughts that you form in your mind by thinking. They are not animate, sentient objects outside yourself that hunt you down. This is part of the mysticism Kristi is foisting upon her audience.
17:30- Kristi exegetes two back to back personal anecdotes. She spends much more time on these than she did on actual Scripture; Scripture she did not, in fact, teach.
26:55- With about five minutes left in her “sermon,” Kristi talks for a few seconds about practicing the “rhythm” (another buzzword to be aware of) of silence and solitude. This is time, she says, for the audience to sit in silence so God can “meet with them”. She doesn’t instruct them to pray, which would be the biblical thing to do, but to “sit in silence”. No mention of what’s supposed to be happening or what it will look like if God “meets with them” while they’re “sitting in silence”. But that’s what they do for the next five minutes (until Kristi, once again, desecrates the Lord’s Table by presiding over it as a “pastor”).
Kristi has not taught the audience what silence and solitude mean, what Scripture says about it, or why they should practice it. She hasn’t properly taught Scripture, nor has she even done more than touch on the false doctrine her “sermon” was supposed to be about. It was just thirty two minutes of paid talk therapy for Kristi.
Secular Humanistic Therapy Philosophy and Standpoint Epistemology
In this November 14, 2021 “sermon,” The Fire of Jesus (109:40) Kristi says: “I am back in therapy, and you can only teach from where you’re at, so probably my next 500 teachings are going to somehow be connected with my therapy…And I’m reading the Bible with different eyes because my soul is being stirred in a different way. There is a work of God – a deep work of God – going on in my life right now…but story reads story, and that’s the way it’s meant to be. You’re meant to read the Bible in your story.”
Secular “trauma therapy” is another fad that’s popular among evangelical celebrities right now. Here’s an excerpt from my article on Tara-Leigh Cobble, who’s a champion of this unbiblical practice:
And since she brought it up in this post, I’d like to address another issue here. Tara-Leigh refers to her own “therapist” and also says, “I can’t think of a teacher/preacher I respect (in modern times) who hasn’t openly talked about seeing a licensed therapist…I believe in it so much that I’ve even paid for therapy for my team members. It’s VITAL.”
While everyone faces difficulties from time to time, and some of those difficulties are intense enough that a time of pastoral or biblical counseling is needed, routine or ongoing “therapy” from a “licensed therapist” (which, in the common vernacular, and at “trauma” events like this one, usually refers to a secular psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health professional) is no more “VITAL,” or even indicated, for normal, healthy individuals – even for non-Christians – than a weekly trip to the doctor for someone who isn’t sick.
The idea that Christians, across the board, need to be in therapy on a regular basis as though that’s normal or vital is found nowhere in Scripture, and undermines the Bible’s teaching that Scripture alone is sufficient for life and godliness.
Secular therapists (and even most “Christian counselors/therapists”) use humanistic, unbiblical methods and paradigms. (And I ought to know. I have a BA in psychology and did my Master’s work in {secular} marriage and family counseling.) When Christians have problems, the biblical thing to do is to turn to Christ and His Word, not worldly worldviews and coping mechanisms.
And this “story reads story,” read yourself into Scripture idea? Sounds great on the surface, but it’s completely unbiblical. The theological terms for this are eisegesis and standpoint epistemology – in a nutshell, reading yourself into Scripture and interpreting Scripture based on what it means to you through the lens of your personal life and experiences.
Over the past few years, several of my followers have sent me (unsolicited) their impressions of Kristi’s teaching:
Follower 1: My church women’s group did the Kristie Mclleland (sic) Luke in the Land study. In the book, on almost every page, she drove this point about “bringing God’s Kingdom to Empire” and “bringing Kingdom to earth” over and over and over. This was the central point of the book, that we must strive to bring Kingdom to earth.
Then, in the very last chapter, on the last page or two of the book was her agenda finally revealed….she introduced this Jewish concept called Tikkum Olam which means “to repair the world” and said we should adopt this. We must go out and fix the world of its problems.
No talk of sin or how it’s not our job as Christians to repair the consequences of sin in the world. No talk of how Jesus took care of this on the cross. This woman is a deceiver.
Here is the exact quote from the book Luke In The Land study (on page 148-149), very last pages of the text.
“The Jewish people have a phrase that has captured my heart and attention over the last year. It’s the tikkun olam – the “repair of the world” or the “fixing of the world.” For the Jews, the invitation is to engage the world, not retreat from it. The Jewish people are living out the mandate given to their ancestors Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18:19– to do what is just (mishpat) and right (tzedakah). They are engaging the world to heal it, to better it, to embody the work of tikkun olam.”
Then, in the participation questions, she asks “How can you engage and embody the work of tikkun olam in your everyday life?” This is how the study ends, this is the culminating message that she has worked up to in every chapter.
I believe it’s deception to give that people the idea that they can repair the world, even if they’re working in the Holy Spirit. That’s not what Jesus told us to do. I’m not sure if this is NAR or Dominionism or what, but it’s unbiblical.
Follower 2: [In the] Jesus and Women Bible study she uses a quote from Russell Moore in the introduction on page 5. The study itself also seems to engage the reader or student in more self focus than Christ focused.
Follower 3: From the couple of hours I spent reading and listening to her content, she is very Me centered and into emotionalism. She rarely quotes the Bible, or gives any evidence for her beliefs other than ” I Felt that God was leading me”.
Follower 4: I’ve watched the first session video of Jesus and Women, 3 sermons, and 2 interviews. This woman reads little Scripture then proceeds to “pontificate” for the next hour. She’s made statements “our pain moves God to action” “we create or destroy worlds with our words” “the fire of Jesus is actually healing and not punitive” “we are meant to read the Bible according to our story.” “Prayer is meant to be this subversive presence in the earth by which the Kingdom of God is entering the restoration, renewal, and repair of all things into this broken world because we are an Easter people living in a Good Friday world.” “We are being invited (by God) to round up.” ??? She announced to the congregation last November during a sermon that she was “back in therapy.”
I wanted to share this with you so that other women can be forewarned. I too was deceived at a time in my life and I pray – NO MORE! Sola Scriptura. (I watched [COTC sermons] “Prayer is Subversive”, “Let it go, lay it down” and the first session of Jesus and Women.)
I wanted to take a closer look at Kristi’s writing and theology, so I went through Lifeway’s sample of her book Luke in the Land. My notes below include page numbers if you’d like to follow along. The text starts on p. 13.
Right off the bat, the pre-study questions lead the reader to focus narcissistically on self / self as authority:
p. 13- Me, me, me and my feelings
p. 16- I could get a really good sense of who you are, whom you love, what you care about, and the world that has shaped you and your worldview simply by looking at your photo albums and your snapshots—the snapshots you chose to keep along the way. What are some of your favorite snapshots or stories in your own life? Who’s in your photo albums? What places are in your photo albums?
p. 17- What are some of your favorite “snapshots” from Scripture? From Jesus’s life?
p. 17- Prompted by the Holy Spirit, Luke recorded the exact stories the living God wanted us to have. This makes me want to EAT my Bible and carry it around inside me. I want to see the snapshots He wants me to have, to hold, to carry within me as I live, move, and have my being in this life... What began in Luke would see fulfillment throughout Acts and on and on until this very moment you and I find ourselves in. We too are part of this story.
Me, me, me. The Bible is about me.
Kristi also muddies the waters on the theopneustos of Scripture:
p. 17- “Prompted by the Holy Spirit,” p. 19- “Led by the Holy Spirit”.
Evangelicals often describe themselves as being prompted or led by the Spirit. The inspiration of Scripture is more than that, plus she heavily emphasizes that Luke interviewed people and collected their stories, making it sound like he was merely a human biographer rather than a writer of God-breathed Scripture.
p. 20- Within these difficult stories of harsh domination by cruel pharaohs, kings, and caesars, there are stories of light in the darkness, hope in the midst of despair, and of salvation and deliverance. These biblical stories teach us to look for light in our own darkness, to reach for hope in our own despair, and to courageously cry out for salvation and deliverance in our own lives.
No, they don’t. Relief from, or solutions to personal problems is not the purpose of these passages. Their purpose is to display God’s glory in the grand narrative of Scripture and the story of redemption.
p. 21- Jesus, the King of kings, came all the way to the lowest circle of humanity, found the lost, the sick, and the marginalized, and prioritized them.
No, He didn’t. God is no respecter of persons. He does not show favoritism. Jesus preached the gospel to everyone who would listen and welcomed any who were repentant and believed.
p. 25- Throughout both the Sermon on the Mount and in His teaching and ministry as a Rabbi of Israel, He continually proclaimed one theme. What was that theme? LOOK UP MATTHEW 4:17,23-25; LUKE 4:43; LUKE 10:1-9; ACTS 1:1-3. What was Jesus proclaiming in all these verses?
How can the reader possibly know? This is the introduction to Luke. The reader hasn’t yet studied the book of Luke to glean the answer to all of this.
p. 26- Simply put, the kingdom of God is God’s reign over the universe. He is sovereign and has dominion over everything in and under heaven. It’s a term that’s used in the Old Testament, but “arises more specifically from Jesus’ proclamation of the inbreaking of God’s rule.” And what is God’s rule breaking in on? The empire. Jesus’s world in Luke, and our world today, was and is anchored in the way of the empire.
1. “God’s rule” has been there from eternity past. It’s not “breaking in” like this world is our place and He’s an unwanted intruder.
2. God has been ruling His people since Creation.
3. The kingdom of God is salvation and the gospel. It’s coming to save people -spiritually- not defeat worldly “empires”.
4. What is “the way of empire”? That’s not a phrase used in Scripture, it’s a phrase Kristi came up with and she just throws it out there without explaining it.
p. 27- This chart makes no sense whatsoever. The example she’s given seems to be backwards according to what little she’s said about the Kingdom of God vs. “Empire”. Shouldn’t “striving” be under “Empire,” and “Sabbath/Rest” be under “Kingdom”? (And what does any of this have to do with the text of Luke 1 or 2, which is where she should be starting a study of the book of Luke?)
This concept of the inbreaking of God’s rule was central to Jesus’s teaching,
Then why doesn’t the text of Luke (or any of the other gospels) say anything about that?
p. 29- READ ISAIAH 9:6-7. Which of these names and promises about Jesus do you think the people of the time were most excited about? What do you think they were looking for in the promised Messiah?
1. What difference does it make what they were excited about?
2. This is speculation, not study. What does the text say?
Which of the promises about the Messiah from Isaiah 9:6-7 brings you the most comfort?
And now we’re back to narcissistic navel-gazing.
Cell phones came out when I was a sophomore in college…
Personal anecdote.
Have you had a similar experience of being really lost? What did you feel when you realized you were lost?
Personal experience and feelings. What about the text of Luke?
p. 30- LOOK AT GENESIS 3:8-10 AGAIN. What was the first question God asked of man? These three words in English are one word in Hebrew—ayeka. When you read this, how do you imagine hearing the tone in His voice? In your imagination, does he sound angry? Disappointed? Sad? Frantic? Why do you imagine his voice and tone sounding that way?
Imagination? Tone of voice? Feelings? Why are we speculating and using our imaginations (about a passage in Genesis) instead of studying the text of Luke?
p. 31- Compassion is not so much an emotion that we feel. Compassion is a location- we are compassionate when we locate ourselves with someone in his or her pain. The Lord looked for Adam and Eve in the garden to meet them in their pain. Most of all, I imagine ayeka with a tone of compassion.
Their pain? They had sinned and rebelled against the holy God of the universe and they were ashamed and guilty. The remainder of Genesis 3 is God meting out the judgment and punishment of their sin. “Their pain”? This is an ungodly way of softening sin and its consequences (because now, when you sin, you’re in “pain” and God “meets you in your pain” with “compassion”), and it is not biblical regardless of how Kristi “imagines” it.
Throughout the Gospel of Luke, we will see Jesus practicing compassion—locating Himself with people right in the middle of their pain. He sought out and found the lost and offered to bring them home. He does the same today. Jesus is not afraid of our sin or our pain; He meets us there and offers to bring us home.
What would it look like for you to invite God to locate Himself with you in your pain today? Take a moment and praise God for His presence. Ask to feel His presence and compassion in your pain,
Me, me, me, and my feelings. This sounds really cozy, but where’s the repentance?
Once again, Kristi is softening sin and its consequences. Yes, Jesus was compassionate to repentant, believing sinners. But He didn’t “locate Himself with people right in the middle of their pain,” or “find the lost and offer to bring them home” (whatever that means). Jesus called sinners to repentance and to believe the gospel. He does the same today.
This “study” is quite disjointed. Kristi skips around all over the place, and at the end of the first 33 pages, the reader still hasn’t read any significant portion of Luke.
It’s like she’s using various verses from Luke (and other Scriptures) to support her historical theories. Kristi cherry picks a few verses here and there from Luke but never instructs the reader to sit down and read the opening chapters of Luke in their entirety. This is a history lesson supported by the Bible, not a Bible lesson informed by historical context.
And don’t get me wrong, historical context is fine, but this is a lot more history than Bible. It feels like what Kristi would really rather be doing is teaching Middle Eastern history and culture than the precepts of Scripture. Where a Lisa Harper or Beth Moore “study” would be largely personal anecdotes with a few out of context Bible verses sprinkled in to bolster whatever ideas they’re trying to teach, Kristi’s study is largely academic: etymology and historical/cultural anecdotes with a few out of context Bible verses sprinkled in to bolster the ideas she’s trying to teach.
And don’t be fooled by the academics. Every time Kristi cites a Greek word or relates a story from history or explains a Middle Eastern cultural concept, it boosts her stature and credibility in the eyes of the reader. “Wow! She really knows her Bible! What a great teacher! We’d better listen to her!”. But if you’ve ever taken a college level history or language class, you know that any pagan with an education can tell you what a word means or who was king two thousand years ago, and what he did.
Knowledge of Greek and Hebrew, and Middle Eastern history and culture is not the same thing as knowing Christ and His Word. Kristi demonstrates that with the fruit of her life: stealing the position of “pastor,” preaching to men, exercising authority over men, administering the Lord’s Supper and baptizing, yoking with false teachers, and teaching false doctrine. Jesus didn’t say, “by their degrees and education you will know them,” He said, “by their fruit you will know them”:
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So then, you will know them by their fruits. 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, in Your name did we not prophesy, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name do many miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’
Matthew 7:15-23
Kristi’s book learning and eloquence demands that you regard her as a mature, knowledgeable Christian and excellent teacher. But God says:
And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments.4 The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; 5 but whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God has been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: 6 the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.
1 John 2:3-6
Are you going to believe Kristi or are you going to believe God?
Kristi seems like a very nice person. She’s obviously smart and well educated. She’s charming and personable. But she’s not teaching the truth of Scripture, and the fruit of her life is rebellion against Scripture. She says in numerous “sermons” and interviews that she loves the Bible and that the only thing she ever wanted to do in life was to teach the Bible. But she rejects the Bible at every turn, whether it’s disobeying what the Bible says about the role of women in the church, or spending most of her writing or teaching time talking about things besides the Bible. For all of these reasons, with sadness, it is my recommendation that you obey Scripture and stay away from Kristi McLelland and all of her materials and resources.
1A special note to my fellow Southern Baptists: We have heard the SBC platform minimize numerous times in recent years the problem of SBC churches with women in the position of “pastor”. It’s supposedly such a non-existent problem that in May 2025, Keven Ezell, head of NAMB, said during a podcast interview that he would give $10K to anyone who could show him a NAMB church plant with a woman pastor. Now, COTC may not have been a NAMB church plant, but they certainly were (and still are as of the release date of this article) listed on the church finder at the SBC website the whole time Kristi (and other women “pastors” who are still on staff) was listed on COTC’s website as a “Teaching Pastor”.
2Again, Southern Baptists, let that sink in. For the past several years we’ve been told by SBC leadership that there’s virtually no issue with women pastors in the SBC. The Law/Sanchez amendment (to require that churches in friendly cooperation with the SBC must have only male pastors) to our constitution has failed to pass for three years in a row. And Lifeway – one of your Southern Baptist entities – welcomes men to be taught by a female “pastor”.
3Women who “pastor” or “preach” to men are false teachers because they teach via their behavior, example, and often their words, the false doctrine that you’re free to ignore and disobey any command of Scripture you don’t like, such as the commands forbidding women from pastoring, preaching, instructing men in the Scriptures, and holding authority over men in the gathering of the Body.
4“Divangelista” is just a slang term I coined because the phrase “popular women’s ‘Bible’ study authors” is too long and cumbersome for writing. It’s a combination of the words “diva” and “evangelical” and rhymes with “Sandinista” (if you’re old enough to remember them) for no particular reason.
1. What are some attributes or character traits of a godly mother from Proverbs 31 that we can emulate? In today’s lesson, rather than attributes to emulate, we’ll be focusing on God’s instructions to obey for mothers. We’ll examine how we’re to regard motherhood and our children, how we’re to train our children in godliness, how we’re to discipline our children out of ungodliness, and the example we’re to set for our children. Some of these instructions can also apply to childless women in their relationships with their spiritual children (i.e. younger women or children they disciple) and others. As you read over today’s passages, explain how childless women might apply some of these Scriptures.
2. Examine the first three passages (Psalm 127-Titus 2) together. What do these passages say about how we are to regard motherhood and our children? What should the attitude of our hearts be? In what sense are children a reward? How do we know that Psalm 127:3 does not mean that if you act in a way that pleases the Lord He will reward your good behavior with children? What does this verse mean? Is loving your children (Titus 2:4) simply a feeling of affection toward them? If so, why would young women need to be trained to love their children? When you finish today’s lesson, come back to Titus 2:4 and give a fully-orbed biblical definition of what it means to love your children.
3. Examine the next five passages (Proverbs 22-Ephesians 6) together. Why does God want us to train our children in godliness? Explain the phrase “in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). How does the gospel figure in to training your child? Look carefully at the three Old Testament passages. At what age should we begin training our children in godliness and the Scriptures and how long should this training continue? Is Proverbs 22:6 an iron-clad guarantee or promise from God that if we raise our children in a godly home they will definitely get saved and turn out to be godly adults? Why not? (Scroll down to the Deuteronomy 21 passage if you need help.)
To whom are the Colossians and Ephesians verses addressed? Does this mean they don’t apply to mothers or that it’s OK for mothers to provoke their children, but not fathers? If they apply to both parents, why are they addressed to fathers? How are we not to deal with our children according to these verses? What does it mean to provoke your children? Why are we not to provoke them (Colossians), and how are we to deal with them instead (Ephesians)? Compare Ephesians 6:4b to the Old Testament verses in this section. How are they similar?
3. Examine the next three passages (Proverbs 29-Deuteronomy 21) together. What is the purpose of godly discipline? What are the biblical definitions of the words “discipline” and “reproof”? Are discipline, reproof, and training the same as punishment? Why or why not? What are some of the consequences of disciplining your child? The consequences of refusing to discipline your child? According to Proverbs 13:24, what motivates someone to discipline her child? What motivates someone to refuse to discipline her child? Are “love” and “hate” simply emotional feelings in this verse or an attitude, posture, or orientation of mindset toward the child? Look closely at Deuteronomy 21:20. Is this passage most likely talking about a very young child or an older child/teenager? According to the Deuteronomy 21 passage, does godly discipline always result in an obedient son or daughter, or can there be exceptions to the rule?
Why is it important to both train your child in godly ways and discipline him out of ungodly ways? Explain how this fits into the “put off the ungodly, put on the godly” model of biblical sanctification.
4. Examine the last five passages (Deuteronomy 21-Matthew 10) together. What do these passages teach us about the godly example we need to set for our children?
Sometimes we see implicit instructions to parents in passages that explicitly teach children how to treat and regard their parents. For example, if there were a verse that said, “Children, love your parents,” we could learn from that verse that we need to act in a way (lovable) that makes it easier for our children to obey that Scripture. Considering this concept, look at the Exodus 20 and Proverbs 1 passages. If your children are to honor you, in what manner should you behave? What should your teaching be like if your children are not to forsake it and to consider it a “graceful garland” and a “pendant”?
What is the context of Ezekiel 16? To whom is the parent/child metaphor in this passage addressed? Explain the phrase “like mother, like daughter”. Why is it important to set a good example for our children with our own behavior, and why was this a good metaphor for God to use in addressing Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him?
Examine the Deuteronomy 21 and Matthew 10 passages together. What is to be a mother’s highest priority – her relationship with her child, even the life of her child, or her love for, obedience to, and loyalty to Christ? Do you love Christ more than your child? If you had to choose between your child and Christ, who would you choose? What message does it send to our children when we show and tell them that we love Christ more than we love them? How can you demonstrate to your child that your highest love and loyalty is reserved for Christ?
Homework
Examine each of the instructions in Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Make a list of practical ways your family could put each of these instructions into practice and discuss it with your husband. Together, pick one of these practices and implement it with your children this week.
