10 ways healthy churches

Let’s face it, ladies- not one of us goes to a church that’s one hundred per cent spiritually healthy. Every church has its problems. Some, just a few; others, well… they’re more like “fixer uppers”. From the encroachment of false doctrine to women serving in improper places of authority to toxic personalities to sin being swept under the rug, what are we to do when we see things in our churches that conflict with Scripture? How can we bring about spiritual change without stepping outside the boundaries of biblical womanhood?

1. Make sure you’re understanding, viewing, and responding to the problem biblically
Are you basing your concern about the situation on a correct or incorrect understanding of Scripture? Is the problem actually a violation of Scripture or just something that rubs you the wrong way personally? Is it possible something you’re doing is contributing to the problem? Sometimes what needs to be changed in your church might be your incorrect understanding of Scripture, your behavior, or your heart attitude.

2. Pray
We are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay (yes, it really does require that many a’s) underestimating the role prayer plays in our churches in general, but especially the role it plays in changing things in the church. Don’t blow prayer off as unimportant or a last resort. Pray for your church every day. Pray about the problems you’re seeing in the church and the people involved. Pray for wisdom for your pastor and whoever is in charge of handling the problem. Pray about it faithfully, fervently, and according to Scripture. It’s not just a biblical motion to go through. I’ve seen God change things in response to prayer time and time again.

3. Approach the appropriate person
If you’ve been praying about the problem and the people involved, and you’re certain you have a biblically correct understanding of and outlook on the situation, and you think you need to address the issue with someone, go to the appropriate person in humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience and discuss it with him or her in the same way you would want to be approached. (And use wisdom- in some cases it might be best for your husband or another man to approach the person.)

Most of the time, the appropriate person to approach first is the person at the center of the problem. A lady in your Sunday School class is a gossip? Go to her first, not the Sunday school teacher. The women’s ministry director is selecting materials authored by false teachers? Go to her first, not the board of elders. Hopefully, you’ll “win your brother.” If not, Matthew 18:15-20 outlines the appropriate subsequent steps to take when dealing with sin. (And, P.S., don’t stop praying. Pray more.)

4. Set a good example
Conduct yourself like a lady – a godly lady – whether you’re dealing with a problematic issue, worshiping, serving, fellowshipping, teaching, learning, or whatever you’re doing at church. Be a velvet covered brick. Strong, firm, and unwavering from Scripture on the inside, meek, gentle, kind, and loving on the outside. Be obedient to Scripture. Repent and seek forgiveness when you sin. Maintain a reputation that’s above reproach. People are watching you, even looking up to you.

5. Be faithful
As Christians we are supposed to be faithful members of the local body of Christ. That means you become an official member. You attend services unless Providentially hindered. You show up on time. You give offerings. You join a Sunday school/Bible study/small group class. You plug in and serve. You bond with your brothers and sisters in Christ. You get invested in the life of the church. You can’t be a strong, godly influence on your church or have people take you seriously when you address a problem if you’re lackadaisical in your approach to church or you’re only there half the time.

6. Be humble and willing
Sometimes helping to resolve a problem in a godly way might require you to do something that, while biblical and appropriate, makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you’re introverted and scared to death to address an issue of sin with a fellow church member. Maybe you’re needed in a position of service you don’t have much experience in. Maybe that sister at church that you don’t really like needs a friend. Are you willing to humble yourself, put your own preferences aside, and serve the body of Christ in whatever way is needed?

7. Teach
If you know how to properly handle God’s word and you’re able to teach, find an open position and get in there, whether it’s a children’s Sunday School class, a women’s Bible study, discipling a younger sister one on one, or helping out with the youth girls. Biblical illiteracy is absolutely and astonishingly rampant in the church, which means there are Christians in your church who don’t know how to behave biblically, which means issues of sin will arise. Prevent those issues before they happen by correctly teaching God’s word to as many women and children as you can. (And if you don’t know how, get trained.)

8. Put on your work clothes and roll up your sleeves
We can no longer go to church with the attitude that we’re going to just row our boats gently down the stream and if a problem arises and somebody else doesn’t deal with it to our satisfaction, we’re leaving. Church isn’t the buffet line at Golden Corral, existing only to provide us with multiple options and opportunities for a pleasant worship experience. Church is often more like being employed by Roto Rooter- it’s hard, hot, sweaty, unpleasant work. Don’t turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble. God may have put you in that church to be a catalyst for biblical change. Maybe the problematic situation at church is not about your comfort. Maybe it’s about you helping the body of Christ.

9. Encourage, help, and pray for your pastor and other church leadership
Pastoring (and other ministry leadership positions) is a tough, often thankless job. Your pastor, associate pastor, minister of music, elders, deacons, teachers, etc., can use all the support they can get. Be generous with your attaboys. Volunteer to help out where you can (teach, disciple, train others, help vet curricula and conference speakers, mediate, visit). And, again, pray. Pray for wisdom and discernment for your pastor and leadership. Pray that God will grow them in their understanding and teaching of the word. Pray for their marriages and parenting. Do what you can to support your leadership so they can be strong, healthy shepherds for the flock.

10. Keep your focus on Christ and trust Him
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in the details of a problem at church that we forget about God. Are you remembering that God loves and wants what’s best for your church and the people involved in the problem far more than you do? Have you stepped back, taken a deep breath, and recognized that changing people’s hearts and growing the church to maturity is on God’s shoulders, not yours? Are you acknowledging the fact that God is in control and is working in the situation even if you can’t see it? Do you believe that God is out for His glory and the good of His people even if visible circumstances suggest otherwise? Are you trusting in Christ Himself or are you trusting in a positive outcome to the situation?

No church is perfect, ladies. Your church has problems. My church has problems. Let’s work together with our brothers and sisters in the local body of Christ – humbly, lovingly, patiently, and as mature, godly women – to solve those problems and encourage our churches toward holiness and spiritual health.

Christian women, Church, Discernment

Do You MIND? : Five Reasons for Pastors to Mind What Their Brides Are Reading

May 27, 2016March 25, 2025 Michelle Lesley

A while back, my husband and I were driving down the road on the way to the store discussing various aspects of ministry. At some point the conversation turned to a pastor with whom we were both vaguely familiar. Neither of us knew much about him, so we decided to look him up on Facebook to see if we could get a better handle on where he was coming from, theologically. Aside from a couple of mildly iffy posts that it wasn’t a stretch to extend the benefit of the doubt about, it didn’t seem as though there were any major doctrinal red flags. He just seemed like your average, Bible believing pastor who needed to brush up a little on his discernment. (Hey, who doesn’t, right?)

I was actually more interested in the pastor’s wife and what kind of ministries she was involved in that I might also like, so I clicked over to her page. I was pretty disappointed by what I saw. She had posted materials from several major false teachers- the female equivalents of people from Joel Osteen all the way down to Benny Hinn.

I remarked to my husband that I thought there might be some concerns about this pastor’s theology if he was OK with his wife following and sharing materials from high profile false teachers. And my husband gently reminded me that wasn’t necessarily the case:

“He probably doesn’t even know those women are false teachers.”

My husband went on to say that he wouldn’t have known that people like Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer are false teachers if I hadn’t done the research and filled him in. Not because he doesn’t care whether or not I read sound doctrine, but because pastors and Christian men in general don’t often pick up and read books written for Christian women to examine the theology we’re feeding on.

Until the last few decades, they haven’t always needed to. If your wife went shopping and came home with a book from LifeWay, it never crossed your mind to question whether or not it was biblical. It was LifeWay for heaven’s sake. LifeWay is run by pastors and theologians with years of experience and doctoral degrees from seminary. Of course it was biblical.

Well not any more, it isn’t. The majority (and that’s not an exaggeration) of the “Bible” studies and other materials marketed to Christian women by Christian retailers are authored by false teachers.

Pastors, on behalf of Christian women everywhere, I plead with you: check out the theology of the authors and bloggers (including me) your wife is reading and the Christian personalities she follows and shares on social media. Please thoroughly vet the materials your Sunday School/small group/Bible study classes and women’s ministry are using. Find out about the speakers headlining the women’s conference or simulcast your ladies are attending. Make sure guest speakers appearing at your church’s women’s event teach sound doctrine.

Why?

It’s not my place to instruct you (and I’m sure you already know, anyway) in what the Scriptures say about being the spiritual leader of your family, responsible for its theological health or your obligations as a pastor to guard your church against false doctrine. I’ll leave that to godly men, fellow pastors, theologians, etc. What I’d like to do is to offer you some practical insights (in no particular order) from the pink side of the pew that you might find to be helpful tools as you think about and pray through how to handle vetting the teachers your wife or church ladies follow:

1. Your wife’s decision to follow false teachers could cost you a job. There are women out there like me who are familiar with the “twisted sisters” your wife is sharing on social media. If I could wrongly make assumptions about the theology of the aforementioned pastor based solely on his wife’s Facebook activity (because wives can be a reflection of their husbands’ spiritual leadership), others could do the same – maybe even those on a pulpit search committee – and that could impact your search for a pastoral position.

2. You don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot. A pastor’s wife can have a huge influence on her church. She is often the one teaching the women’s Bible study or heading up the women’s ministry, and even if she doesn’t, her input on curricula, guest speakers for women’s events, etc., is usually seen by the women of your church as carrying the weight of your approval or preferences. If you’re up in the pulpit preaching sound doctrine every week while your wife or women’s leader is importing false doctrine into the women’s ministry, it’s like bailing water out of a boat with a hole in the hull.

3. Your wife or (women’s ministry leader) may be chasing off spiritually healthy church members. (If you’ve stuck with me thus far, what follows is unlikely to describe your wife, but I’m going to go ahead and throw it out there for awareness’ sake.) I have heard the following prototypical scenario from dozens of Christian women (and experienced it myself):

“My pastor’s wife is in charge of our church’s women’s ministry, and is a big Beth Moore fan. We only do Beth Moore studies in our small groups, and last year our church hosted a Beth Moore simulcast. I participated in a couple of the studies, but they just seemed “off” biblically, so I started doing some research.

I discovered Beth Moore was teaching false doctrine, partnering with false teachers, and doing other unbiblical things. I went to the pastor’s wife and very kindly, humbly, and patiently showed her the scriptural evidence of Beth Moore’s false teaching. I couldn’t believe it when she flew into a rage, screamed at me, and accused me of trying to create disunity in the church! My husband and I tried to talk to the pastor about it, but he seemed completely unaware of what goes on in the women’s ministry or any problems with Beth Moore, and backed up his wife. We are now looking for a new church.”

This is not an exaggeration or isolated case. I don’t know what it is about Beth Moore’s disciples, but they (especially the ones who are pastors’ wives) seem to be some of the most vicious defenders of false teachers out there. And if your wife or women’s ministry leader acts like this it could cost you godly, spiritually mature church members.

4. Your children’s spiritual lives are at stake, both at home and at church. As with any dad who works long hours, your wife probably has more of an influence in the moment to moment aspects of your children’s lives than you do, even when it comes to training them in godliness. If her spiritual diet consists of false teaching, that’s what is being imparted to your children on a daily basis.

The same goes for the children at your church. The majority of children’s Sunday School teachers and children’s ministry workers are women. The false doctrine these women consume today will be taught to the children of your church on Sunday.

5. When women are spiritually healthy, the whole family benefits. Statistically, women make up about 60% of church attenders, and, of course, 50% of a marriage. That is an enormous influence on your own family and your church family. You want those women spiritually healthy. It’s not only biblical and good for them personally, but everyone they influence and interact with benefits.

When women are taught sound doctrine, they grow to Christlike maturity. They exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. They want to share the gospel. They walk in humility, patience, love, repentance, forgiveness, and biblical submission. They encourage their husbands toward godliness. And you know what else they do?

They teach other women to do the same. They train up children who are godly. They’re self-replicating.

Spiritually healthy, mature, godly women make your life easier, more peaceful, and more of a joy, both at home and at church, because they’re working with you, not against you.

But your wife and the women of your church are not going to get the pure milk of the Word they need to grow in Christlikeness from the pantheon of divangelistas lining the shelves of your local Christian bookstore. And most of those precious ladies you shepherd are completely unaware of that fact. So they need your help, Pastor. Your bride, and the Bride, desperately need you to mind what they’re reading.

Encouragement

God is Still Working and I’ve Got Proof

May 20, 2016August 29, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Has the world lost its collective mind, or what? From our presidential candidate options to perversion in public restrooms, to Christian business people having to risk their livelihood in order to operate in keeping with biblical principles, it seems like every time I turn around there’s some new piece of bad news smacking me in the face.

And it’s not just “out there,” either. The hits just keep on coming for the church as well. I hear almost daily from ladies who are distressed that the women of their church are being indoctrinated with false teaching in the name of “women’s Bible study.” Women who have left no stone unturned in their search for a doctrinally sound church to attend, and simply can’t find one in their area. Women who weep over their friends and loved ones held captive by the latest pop heresy.

It’s enough to discourage even the most bubbly of Pollyannas.

I wish good news got as much press as bad news, because, believe it or not, I hear from at least as many, if not more, women with encouraging stories to share about how God has been at work in their own lives, in their churches, and the in the lives of their friends and loved ones.

It always builds me up and gives me hope to hear their stories, so I thought it might encourage you, too. Take a look at what Christian women (and men!) like you are saying* about what God is doing in their lives – and what He can do in yours, too!

Wanted to share with you regarding your authors and speakers list. I sent it via e-mail to some friends. I received three positive responses back. One was already questioning [the doctrine of a particular false teacher]. She has been invited to one of [that false teacher’s] conferences. She will not be attending after reading this and will warn her friends that are attending.

[Another friend] shared with me that she feels God is calling her out of [a false doctrine church].

A pastor’s wife that thanked me for the information and said she will never be a a part of someone who embraces false doctrine.

I was thankful for your post on Priscilla Shirer and sent it to some women in our church. I had one very positive response with a request to learn more of the Scriptures.

I am thankful to be a member of a local church that is taught the Word of God through expository preaching and teaching. In fact, our pastor leads our “women’s ministry”. We are being taught theology and how to minister to one another and other women within our body and the ultimate body of Christ.

I told [the person leading the book study by a famous women’s Bible study author] that I was not signing up for the next one. I have just finished John MacArthur’s How to Study Your Bible, and I will begin reading the Bible through starting tomorrow morning. I just finished reading [the Bible] through this morning, but I am starting over again using the method he outlines in his book.

[I recently read your article] regarding Lysa TerKeurst. It made me extremely sad to read about her emergent-leaning doctrines. I’d been following P31 ministries for about two months when [I read the article]. I would appreciate any advice or direction you give me for biblically sound studies!

Here’s the view into my recycling bin. I was going to get rid of it last year, but ended up holding on to it. It’s gone now!

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(From an elder at a doctrinally sound church)- I was not familiar with Beth Moore until I realized our women’s Bible group was hooked on Beth.

After bringing her un-biblical teachings to the attention of our elder board I am now charged with finding something better.Keep us in prayer as we attempt to wean the women off of Beth and onto the solid rock of the Word.

I’ve recently felt prompted to study more about sound Christian doctrine. Can you please provide a list for all your recommended Christian sound doctrine women [teachers]?

I went to the movie theater the day [Fifty Shades of Grey] came out. I’d say, on average there were 4 women to every man. They came in droves. I stood outside the theater and passed out gospel tracts. Seizing every opportunity, we must carry the gospel to them.

[As a women’s leader at my church, I got rid of] Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Angela Thomas, and Lysa Terkeurst studies. My pastor is fully on board and is faithful to preach the Word each and every time we gather.

I have gotten rid of my copy of [a Christian mysticism book]. Now [female false teacher’s] book will follow.

[Several of us had to leave our former church due to false doctrine.] We all prayed [for a new, doctrinally sound church] and God answered our prayers. We have a church building and a pastor. We [recently] celebrated our church’s fourth anniversary.

My wife and I left our church of 20+ yrs. because God was gracious and truly regenerated our hearts, giving us eyes to see and ears to hear the unbiblical nature of what was happening.

I have left the last two churches I was a part of. Thankfully, we are now in a wonderful, Bible-believing, Gospel-centered, theologically/doctrinally sound church who believe discipling true Believers the way God has instructed us in the Bible is more important than how many people fill the seats.

This is just a tiny sampling of the many e-mails, comments, and private messages I’ve received from readers who are growing in Christ, serving in healthy churches, and helping others to grow in biblical truth. If you’re going through a rough time at your church, in your walk with the Lord, or are troubled by what’s going on in the world around you, rejoice with those who rejoice, and don’t be discouraged! The same God who carried these folks through their difficulties will carry you through yours.

Now it’s your turn to be an encourager.
How has God grown you in your relationship with Him, opened the eyes of a loved one to biblical truth, or made your church holier and more obedient to Scripture?

*I’ve changed or deleted a few identifying details to protect the writers’ anonymity.

Christian women, Podcast Appearances

Echo Zoe Radio Podcast Interview

May 10, 2016October 11, 2017 Michelle Lesley

Last week, I had the pleasure of sitting down and chatting with my friend Andy Olson as his guest on the Echo Zoe Radio podcast.

Click here to listen in

as we talk about women’s ministry, Bible study, discernment, and plenty of other great topics. And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and follow Echo Zoe on Facebook and Twitter!

Discernment

Discernment Hysteria and the God Who Wins

April 8, 2016April 7, 2016 Michelle Lesley

discernment hysteria god wins

There are a lot of different facets to Christianity. There’s worship. Fellowship with other Christians. Studying God’s word alone, with our families, and with the local church. Evangelism. Serving at church. Teaching. Discipling other believers. Prayer. All of these things, and others, are vital to a healthy, growing relationship with Christ.

But things can get out of whack if we focus too much on any one of these areas to the neglect of others. Spend too much time in prayer, and you could overlook serving others. Focus on evangelism too much, and your Bible study time might suffer. It can be tricky, but it’s important that we keep a good balance in our walk with the Lord.

If you’re like me you probably have one or two areas that you’re tempted to go overboard in. My temptation is studying, particularly in the area of discernment- false doctrine and false teachers. It’s a fascinating topic, and people educated in the field of discernment and doctrine are desperately needed in the church today.

But if you spend a lot of time studying discernment –and many do- it can get pretty discouraging pretty quickly. You begin to realize just how pervasive false doctrine is and how many false teachers there are. It’s in your church, at your child’s Christian school, on your Christian radio and TV stations, in your Christian bookstore. It’s everywhere. And it’s not just the home grown heretics who spring from the soil of already apostate “churches.” We’ve also got men and women who were once trustworthy teachers and preachers of God’s word turning traitor and joining the forces of evil at an alarming rate. They just keep coming and coming, always more and more. It’s starting to feel like Invasion of “The Body” Snatchers.

I hear often from women approaching panic and frenzy over the state of the church. And I get that, because I regularly feel the same way. But for all of us, there are some great reasons to take a step back when we get overwhelmed. To breathe, to relax, and to rejoice in some good news in the midst of the heresy hurricane.

God is both sovereign and just.

And praise His name for that. Nothing, and I mean nothing, escapes His notice. He sees everything- every thought, every action. There is going to come a day of reckoning for the enemies of God. They will get exactly what they deserve, and God will be good for punishing them. When it’s all said and done, nobody’s getting away with anything, and nothing is going to slip through the cracks.

And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13

It is God’s job to preserve the church, not ours.

Thousands of years. Extreme idolatry and blasphemy. War. Exile. And yet God preserved a remnant of His people throughout the Old Testament. He preserved the church through its infancy of persecution and heresy. And He will continue to preserve His church today. Should we fight false doctrine the best we can? Yes. Will some local churches fold and apostasize? Yes. But, saving the church is way too big a job for us. Ultimately, the burden of preserving the Bride is on the Bridegroom.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:25b-27

God’s word isn’t changing.

It doesn’t matter how loudly people scream that this sin or that sin is OK. It doesn’t matter how many people teach the most unbiblical false doctrine or how widespread its acceptance is. God’s word is God’s word. And God’s word changes for no man. The Bible – not anyone’s opinion or the general consensus of sinful humans – is the standard God has issued and the rod of judgment He will wield. God’s word isn’t going anywhere.

for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
1 Peter 1:24-25

The gospel still has the power to save.

God is mightier to save than any false teacher is to deceive. Get out there and keep faithfully scattering that gospel seed and proclaiming God’s truth. A lot of people will reject it – just like they did when Jesus preached it – but some will listen and be saved. They’re worth it.

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
Isaiah 59:1

Heaven awaits.

Look around. This is all just temporary. In Heaven, there is no false doctrine. There are no false teachers. There will be no more contending for the faith. We will all finally be able to worship Christ in the splendor of His holiness with out any hint of error impeding us or infiltrating the Body.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
Revelation 21:1-3

Be encouraged my sisters, and don’t grow weary in well doing. Because God is mighty. He is still on His throne. He is still saving souls.

And hear me, and cling to this as you walk through this evil world: God wins.

Let that sink in and drive you to rejoice and worship. The devil may do his worst in the world, but God wins.

he wins