Christian Women – Page 96 – Michelle Lesley

If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

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I have a dear friend who has a daughter who had two children out of wedlock and then married. Her daughter, who is now 18, has a child out of wedlock and is pregnant again by the same guy. Seems she is following in her mother’s footsteps. Should I attend the baby shower?

Obviously, sex outside of marriage is a sin, which, I’m sure, is why you’re in a quandry about whether or not to attend the shower. You may be wondering if your attendance will send the message that you approve of the sin of adultery or fornication. On the other hand, the sin itself is over and done with. Perhaps you’re wanting to show this young lady grace in order to find an opportunity to share the gospel with her. These are both perfectly valid, biblical considerations.

Since I don’t personally know all of the people involved or all of the details of the situation, and there’s nothing in the Bible about whether or not to attend showers for babies conceived out of wedlock, I don’t think it would be wise for me to give you a “Go” or “Don’t go” answer. But I would like to offer some thoughts that may help you as you make your decision.

As I mentioned, the Bible is silent on what to do in this situation. It would not be a sin for you to attend, nor would it be a sin not to attend. This is an issue of conscience and wisdom.

First, if you’re married, be sure to discuss this with your husband. Or, if you’re a young lady living under your parents’ authority, talk with them about it. Always obey God’s word by submitting to your husband or to your parents’ authority if these apply in your life.

Ask your pastor, Sunday School teacher, or a godly friend for insight and counsel.

Ask God to give you wisdom, trust that He will, and then make the most godly decision you can. James 1:5 says:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Does the young lady in question seem repentant over her actions? Are she and the baby’s father getting married? Does she seem determined to flaunt her sin and continue in rebellion? These are some factors that may influence your decision.

I think what it boils down to is this: How can you best represent Christ in this situation and serve as a godly influence to this young lady? Whatever you decide, continue to be kind to her, love her, pray for her, offer to help with the baby, and share the gospel with her as the Holy Spirit provides the opportunity.

Christian women, Discernment

Women In Combat

March 18, 2016July 25, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Over the last few months, there’s been a lot of talk about the possibility of future U.S. military drafts including young women in addition to young men. I’ve admired godly male friends who have spoken out vehemently against this and expressed concern about the government trying to press their daughters or wives into service. Some even vowed to lay their lives down protecting their women from having to face the horrors and dangers of war.

But I wonder if these men – husbands, fathers, pastors, elders – know that many of their wives, daughters, and sisters in Christ are already in the trenches fighting off the enemy with every ounce of our strength and every weapon at our disposal.

It’s not a war for territory or political control or freedom from dictatorial tyranny.

It’s a battle for the purity of the Bride. And the souls of our sisters.

Daily. Weekly. At church. On line. In our families. We strap on our Swords, march out to the front and engage in hand to hand combat with the Enemy.

His troops: false teachers.

His weapon of mass destruction: false doctrine.

Sometimes we stand as a shield between grenade-lobbing grunts and weak sisters who don’t know how to fight, or even that they’re in a war. Who want nothing more than to knock us down into the mud as they desert our King and join our foes.

Sometimes we infiltrate the enemy camp to bring back intelligence on his troops to our commanders and generals, only to be ignored, reprimanded, or dishonorably discharged from the unit.

Sometimes we stand as guards at the walls of our churches, watching the adversary advance, sounding the alarm, and standing in stunned disbelief as our commanding officers smilingly welcome the enemy troops through the gate.

Why? Why, in a field of pink, are there so few Green Berets? Why is it that so many women are out on the front lines battling this insidious rival while most of our brothers in arms seem to be AWOL?

As Steve Lawson famously said a few years ago, “Give us some men who know the truth!”*

And to that I respond with a hearty amen. But with much love and respect to Brother Steve, I would add:

Give us some men who will DEFEND the truth.

And the weak women the enemy seeks to capture.

And the strong women who should be protected, working safely away from the line of fire to support the troops and nurse the casualties back to health.

Give us men who will…

…thoroughly vet any curricula, books, or materials used by their church’s Bible study classes.

…train all of their church’s teachers to properly handle and exegete the word of God.

…take a close look at the authors of the books and blogs their wives or church members are reading and the speakers at the conferences and retreats they’re attending.

…examine the doctrine of the singers their daughters or youth listen to and the leaders of the youth camps they attend.

…speak out with godly boldness (not jerkiness- godly boldness) against false doctrine and false teachers on social media, in Sunday School, in the sanctuary, in their homes, and in every arena in which they have influence.

…join the few brave brothers who are already standing in the gap to present a united front to ward off the enemy.

Godly men on active duty in their churches, homes, and in the public square are out there. I’m privileged to know several. But they need a bigger band of brothers to join them in fighting the good fight.

We need men who will gird up, gear up, and stand up. Because some women in combat are wounded, battle fatigued, and in need of some R&R. And we can’t keep fighting this battle without a few more good men.

*At the time this article was originally written, Steve Lawson was a doctrinally sound, trustworthy pastor and theologian. He has since committed disqualifying sin and is no longer in ministry. This mention of his name should not be construed as a current endorsement of Steve Lawson.

Christian women, Ministry

Mary and Martha and Jesus and Women’s Ministry

March 11, 2016September 9, 2025 Michelle Lesley

You remember the story. Jesus comes to Mary and Martha’s house. Martha’s Pinteresting up the place while Mary sits at Jesus’ feet to listen to Him teach. Martha gripes to Jesus that Mary should help her and Jesus says no because it’s better for her to listen to Him than fold napkins into the shape of swans or whatever. Moral of the story- Martha needs to relax and not let other things distract her from Jesus.

That’s a good, true, and important takeaway from this passage, and one that we would all do well to heed.

But did you ever stop to think that Mary and Martha aren’t the main characters in this story? Jesus is. Jesus is the main character in every Bible story, so our primary focus should always be on Him: what He said and did and was like.

Did you ever stop to think that Mary and Martha aren’t the main characters in this story? Jesus is.
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What was Jesus teaching that day at Mary and Martha’s house? The passage doesn’t tell us the topic He was speaking about, but we are privy to a very important lesson He imparted through the scenario with Mary and Martha. A lesson about the way God loves and values women.

Remember how women were generally regarded at that time? They didn’t have much more value than livestock, furniture, or a man’s other possessions. They were considered intellectually inferior, they weren’t formally educated, and their legal and social standing were often tenuous at best. They could not go beyond the Court of the Women at the temple for worship. There was even a traditional prayer Jewish men recited in which they thanked God for not making them a woman, a Gentile, or a slave. Women were low man on the totem pole, so to speak.

And that’s where we find Martha. She wasn’t doing anything wrong that day. In fact, in her culture, she was doing everything right. If anything, Mary would have been the one viewed as being in the wrong because the teaching was for the men, and it was the women’s job to bustle around taking care of all the hospitality duties. Martha knew this. Mary knew this. Jesus knew this. Everyone else present knew this. Martha must have wondered why someone hadn’t yet shooed Mary out of the living room and into the kitchen. So her statement to Jesus in verse 40, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me,” was probably not just, “I need another pair of hands,” but also a bit of, “Mary is forgetting her place. This isn’t what proper women do.”

Oh yes, it is.

Whatever else He might have been lecturing about that day, that was one of the lessons Jesus taught Mary, Martha, the rest of their guests, and Christendom at large.

Women aren’t second class citizens in the Kingdom of God. We are precious and valuable to Him. He has important, worthwhile work for us to do – His way – in the body of Christ. And He wants us trained in His Word in order to carry out that work.

How did Jesus teach that lesson?

First, He allowed Mary to stay and receive His teaching (39). (We see this echoed in God’s instruction to the church in 1 Timothy 2:11: “LET a woman learn…”) It hadn’t slipped Jesus’ mind that she was sitting there. He could have told her to leave, but He had no intention of doing so. Jesus wanted Mary there. He wanted to teach her and to have her learn God’s word from Him.

Next, when someone tried to take Mary away from hearing and being trained in God’s word, Jesus – God Himself – answered with a resounding NO. This “will not be taken away from her,” Jesus said. Mary, and Martha too (41), could arrange centerpieces or turn a cookie into a work of art any time or never. But this, the teaching of God’s Word, was urgent. Vital. Jesus didn’t want either of them to miss it by focusing on the trivial things they thought they should be pursuing.

And He doesn’t want us to miss it either, ladies.

Jesus pulled women out of the craft room and into the study. Is the women’s ministry at your church trying to pull them back?

Jesus pulled women out of the craft room and into the study. Is the women’s ministry at your church trying to pull them back?
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Is the women’s events page on your church’s web site filled exclusively with painting parties, fashion shows, ladies’ teas, and scrapbook sessions?

Does your women’s ministry do canned “Bible” studies authored by women who offer nothing but personal stories, experiences, and false doctrine?

Are the Marys in your church who want to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word rightly handled and taught being scolded by the Marthas for not staying in their place and embracing the banality the women’s ministry is doling out?

Are the Marys in your church who want to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word rightly handled and taught being scolded by the Marthas for not staying in their place and embracing the banality the women’s ministry is doling out?
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Is this it? Is this all women are good for in the church- fluff and false doctrine?

Jesus didn’t think so.

Let’s have our women’s ministries train women in the full scope of biblical womanhood. Let’s be serious students of God’s Word by picking it up and studying it like mature women. Let’s get equipped to teach and disciple other women who are babes in Christ. Let’s share the gospel with the lost. Let’s learn how to train our own children in the Scriptures and be the ones to raise the bar for what the kids at our church are being taught. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty ministering to those who are ill, in prison, lonely, poor, elderly, considering abortion, experiencing crisis; who have wayward children, problems in their marriages, a parent with Alzheimer’s, or have lost a loved one.

Is this it? Is this all women are good for in the church- fluff and false doctrine?
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Women are worth more and capable of more than the bill of goods they’re being sold by “Christian” retailers suggests. More than cutesy crafts and fairy tales masquerading as biblical teaching. Let’s put the “ministry” – ministry of the Word and ministry to others – back in “women’s ministry.”

Women are worth more and capable of more than the bill of goods they’re being sold by “Christian” retailers suggests.
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Guest Posts

Guest Post: The Ministry of Encouragement

March 8, 2016March 7, 2016 Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com, and let’s chat about it.

The Ministry of Encouragement
by Michael Coughlin

How well do you have to know someone before you can speak truth into their life? I had a phone call today with a testimony I wanted to share with you that helps answer that question.

But first, some background information is required. In 2015, I traveled to Indianapolis to assist Sports Fan Outreach International in preaching the gospel to the Final Four fans. I was speaking with another evangelist when he introduced me to his friend, Pam. Pam open air preached, he said. I don’t recall exactly how the conversation went, but I was asked what I thought of that.

Here is where conventional (or dare I say ‘worldly’?) wisdom dictates that I ought to have offered Pam a cup of Starbucks and gotten to know her situation better. Maybe she’d had a childhood with an abusive father, or had been saved from hearing a woman preacher, right? Surely that insight, as well as building her trust in me was paramount to simply telling her what the Scripture teaches, right?

Well, as you can guess, I disagree. Not that making friends with folks and ‘being relational’ is bad, but I just didn’t have time for that. I was on the streets intending to reach the lost with the gospel and found myself in the conversation. So I gently but firmly explained that I do not believe a woman should preach and shared a couple reasons from Scripture.

She received my explanation and told me that she generally didn’t disagree. Her issue was that, although she thought women ought not preach, the lack of male preachers getting out and doing the work dictated that someone had to. So, in what seemed like an earnest attempt to please the Lord and do His work, she started preaching.

Again, without having more than a 6 minute relationship with her at this point, I explained to her that she was doing exactly what Sarah did when she gave Hagar to Abraham in order to produce the promised child. Sarah, having been given a promise by God, did not see how God would fulfill the promise, so she took the matter into her own hands. Sarah (and Pam), genuinely believed this is how God’s promise would be fulfilled. I don’t pray for a job and then not send out resumes. Simply “relying on God” isn’t an excuse for inaction. But in this case, Sarah (and Pam), had gone outside of the lines God has drawn for us to accomplish things. Sarah committed sin by giving her husband another woman, and Pam was sinning by violating God’s command to women not to preach. In each case, they were not acting wisely. Truly trusting in God is knowing He will fulfill His purposes, and that it will not be by asking His followers to sin. (Note: but He will USE His followers’ sin to accomplish His good will, Rom. 8:28).

Our time together ended amicably. The phone call I had today revealed that God used that conversation in Pam’s heart and she has given up preaching. She continues to evangelize and hand out tracts. In other words, God used the proclaiming of His truth in Pam’s life, by the power of the Holy Spirit –despite the lack of nuance I could afford in my speech and relationship we had time to build. Pam was able to receive my words because Pam was humble and my words were true. It really had nothing to do with my kindness or my desire or ability empathize with Pam, although God may have used those things as well.

As you can imagine, I was greatly encouraged by this in the Lord. (Philemon 20)

There are three primary takeaways I want you, the reader, to think about in regards to this story.

First, I did not need to build a relationship with Pam to speak truth into her life. My reliance on the inerrancy, infallibility and sufficiency of Scripture was the only requirement. Now, that is never an excuse to act ungodly. We also trust that as God gives us opportunities to interact with people, He will use the sanctification we’ve received to that point as part of the relationship. So it is possible I actually was kind and compassionate, etc., my point is that those things aren’t the same as the power of God’s Word to pierce hearts (Acts 4:12).

Secondly, you never know how God is working in someone’s life when you are not there. We are very “seeing” oriented. Sometimes God does a good work when you are not looking. So don’t lose hope. I didn’t need to be in Pam’s life daily or weekly or actually ever for God to use His Word to effect a wonderful change in her.

Finally, I cannot explain how greatly encouraged I was by this anecdote. I spend my life preaching and teaching, discipling and being discipled, and I can tell you the “apparent” success is often bleak. Even joyful moments are often overshadowed by an “I can never do enough” attitude. I hear of a person responding to something positively and I can recall dozens of situations that never appeared to improve. I need this kind of encouragement. So did Paul. So do you. And so does someone in your life. Someone you know needs to know how their work for Jesus Christ has had a good result. Someone needs to know you are thinking of them and praying for them.

While writing this post, I got an email from someone I don’t know too well that said, “Brother, Just thinking about you and praying for fruits of your labors. God bless you brother.” I can only imagine there is someone in your life that needs a similar message. It may prevent you from having to deal with a situation such as I have linked to here.

Michael Coughlin is a street evangelist from Ohio. He and his wife, Erin have 5 children. You can find him on Twitter, at his blog, or on Sermon Audio.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.

Guest Posts

Guest Post: Daughters of the King Don’t Take Personality Tests

March 1, 2016February 26, 2016 Michelle Lesley

Daughters of the King Don’t Take Personality Tests
by Jessica Pickowicz

Scrolling through my Facebook news feed this week I must have come across at least half a dozen personality tests all calling to me — all begging me to answer their questions so each one could tell me who I really am. Am I an introvert or an extrovert? Am I emotional or intellectual? Am I an Anna or an Elsa? (Okay, broke down and took that one!)

One test analyzed finger lengths by having the reader match her hand to various images of hands; each hand shape was assigned a different personality type.

Another test was ready to label its curious victim as a lion, golden retriever, otter, or other mammal.

And there are always those zodiacs lurking around ready to tell you exactly who you are and how you are feeling today.

So what’s the draw? Why are we (I’m speaking to women specifically) so eager to have some secular psychology test, some dim-witted computer algorithm, or some pagan superstition profile our personalities and define our character?

It’s been said that “the greatest human desire is to be KNOWN.” We just want to be known. In our broken flesh, we want to be honored, accepted, validated, and loved. And for a person who is godless, these tests are downed like painkillers. They are momentary relief, momentary security, in a world of pain, bewilderment, and fear — a world of feeling unknown.

I’ve been there myself. Before Christ, I was a junkie for this stuff. I loved my daily “horror-scope” and was especially eager to read the “love and romance” section. Why? Because when you’re lonely, when you don’t know a thing about God, His providence, sovereignty, sufficiency, and most of all His love, you reach for these things to soothe. It was a comfort to believe, even for a moment, that someone or something was steering my ship; that fate, chance, astrology, or even science could give me some direction and navigation through this life.

But here is the BIG trouble. The inexcusable rebellion is when churches pander to this. It is when churches administer these personality tests in a veiled attempt to help believers discover their spiritual gifts, identity, and purpose. It is when churches look anywhere but to His divine power for anything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

As Christians, ladies, we must reject this false teaching. Say it with me, “I am a daughter of royal birth. My Father is King of Heaven and Earth.” What more, in Heaven and Earth, do we need when our Father is the Most High God?! We must not search anywhere but Scripture for our purpose, calling, gifting, and direction. For “all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Nothing about these personality tests are biblical or God-glorifying. And here are some reasons why.

1. Personality tests put the focus on self-identity and not on our chief end. Essentially, personality tests are egocentric. When we are self-focused we don’t see or appreciated the greater scope of God’s mighty, sovereign, and providential work in our lives. It’s a form of pride to be preoccupied with self-identification, covertly seeking one’s own glory. However, when I look beyond myself and I realize God’s plan for me isn’t really about me; it’s about Him and His glory, then my striving in this life should only be this: to be less like myself (or whatever best version of myself I am aspiring to be) and more like Christ (John 3:30; 1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 5:1) because I love Him. Once we realize that creation, salvation, and consummation, are all to be “to the praise of His glory” (Ephesians 1:6a, 12, 14), then a personality test will just look like a ridiculous waste of time.

This truth should bring you a great sense of peace, dear sister. The heavy yoke of “finding yourself” is off your shoulders, because you have already been found! Rest in this. Meditate on it.

2. Personality tests stunt sanctification. As we grow in the Lord we change to be more like Christ. These tests have a way of holding us back and pigeon-holing us to a place that might not be in line with God’s will and ultimate plan for our lives. Furthermore, it sets us up to neglect obeying God in areas that (some silly tests said) are “not within our gifting” and robs us of the blessing of serving as needs arise, as God calls. We must understand that our spiritual gifting is far less of a concern of God than our obedience. We must not operate within some comfortable sphere that some test has insulated.

3. Personality tests put man’s wisdom above God’s wisdom. This is similar to the above point. We must remember that His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9) and our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). Sometimes secular psychology and man’s wisdom can seem very smart and very alluring. When it comes to parenting I’ve found myself fighting the desire to scour the internet for advice. But I know that there is no wisdom of man that can beat-out the Wisdom of God found in Scripture (1 Cor. 1:18-31). His ways are perfect (Psalm 18:30).

4. Personality tests reinforce and perpetuate a lack of trust in God. When we are looking to a man-made test for validation of our identity and worth we demonstrate distrust, because we are looking to every other place except Him. We were made in His image and likeness (Gen. 1:26-27), and in salvation, we are re-made as new creations in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). Therefore, our sole identity as believers is in Jesus Christ Himself.

5. Personality tests are man’s attempt to undermine God in His power, glory, authority, wisdom, sovereignty, faithfulness, and love. This last point culminates all previous points. If you remember nothing else, remember this.

Here’s my final thought: Earlier I quoted the secular axiom, “The greatest human desire is to be KNOWN.” To a secular world-view the assumption is to be known by other people. For Christians, this must not be our concern whatsoever. The Bible teaches that we must die to self. It teaches that we will be rejected and persecuted for our beliefs. People on this earth will not know (honor, accept, validate, or love) us. However, God knows us. And that, sweet sister, should be all the knowing we need!

“But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn your back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?” Galatians 4:9

In closing, I have a questionnaire of my own.

– Have you been saved by the grace of God through faith in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross?

– Is your chief end to glorify Him in all things and love Him forever?

– Do you believe that His power gives you everything you need for life and godliness?

– Do you believe the Bible can equip you for every good work?

– Do you trust God’s plan and will for your life?

– Is your identity in Christ alone?

If you have been born again as a Christian, and answered yes to all six questions, then you are undoubtedly a daughter of the Most High God. And as such, you are hereby exempt from all further personality testing.

God intimately knows each and every one of us. And His desire for us, for godly living, is found in His Word. As for our personalities? We are His children, made in His image. So next time you’re tempted to click “Take the Test” don’t waste your time on vain pursuits, opt out, and turn here instead:

Titus 2
Galatians 5
1 Peter 3
Psalm 139
All of Proverbs!
Oh, btw – I’m totally an Anna! (In case you were wondering.)

Jessica is wife to New England pastor Nate Pickowicz. She is a homeschooling mom of two. She is a passionate writer who has a big heart for biblical teaching and women’s ministry.