Tag: Christian Marriage

Mark Bible Study

Mark: Lesson 14

Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Mark 10:1-31

And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

13 And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them.14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

17 And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” 20 And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” 21 And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 22 Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

23 And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?” 27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” 28 Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” 29 Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, 30 who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Questions to Consider

1. What does verse 1 say it was Jesus’ “custom” (notice also the words “and again”) to do? Considering this verse and all we’ve studied in the previous nine chapters, which aspect of His ministry do you think Jesus considered spiritually weightier, His teaching or His miracles? Which was more temporal and which was more eternal? What are the implications of this for the church today? Should our focus be on the teaching of Scripture, which has an eternal impact, or on miracles, signs, and wonders, which (if they’re even real and biblical) only have a temporal impact?

2. What was the purpose of the Pharisees’ questions? (2) Where does Jesus point them for the answer? (3) Think back over what we’ve learned about Jesus’ authority. He not only had the authority, as God, to definitively answer the Pharisees’ questions, but He was regarded by many of the people as a rabbi (or teacher), and rabbis’ teachings were authoritative. Why do you think Jesus – who had the authority (“you have heard it said…but I say to you…”) to answer the Pharisees’ questions directly – pointed them to Scripture instead? Can you think of more situations in which Jesus pointed others to Scripture to answer them? If Jesus – God Himself – pointed people back to Scripture what does this tell us about the place and authority Scripture should hold in our own lives?

3. Examine Deuteronomy 24:1-4, what “Moses commanded” (3), and compare it with verses 4-12. Does the content and tone of the Deuteronomy passage agree with what Jesus says in these verses? How would you summarize God’s view of marriage? (5-9) What does Jesus teach about divorce in verse 11? Who is guilty of adultery in a divorce and subsequent remarriage- the spouse initiating the divorce, or the spouse who didn’t initiate the divorce? Compare Mark 10:1-11 to these passages. What are the two biblically allowable circumstances for divorce and remarriage? Is divorce required by Scripture in these situations?

4. Why do you think the disciples rebuked people for bringing their children to Jesus to bless them? (13) Which attribute(s) of God does Jesus showcase in verses 13-16? Take a look at these Greek, Roman, and other Gentile attitudes and practices toward children circa the time of Jesus. As a first century Gentile, what would this passage have said to you about God’s love and care for children? How should this passage inform us today about abortion as well as the need to nurture our children and raise them in a godly way?

5. Examine Jesus’ teaching about marriage in 5-9 and His words and actions about children in 13-16. If you were to formulate a theology of family from these verses, what would it say?

6. Compare verses 14-15 with Mark 9:35-37. How can one “receive the kingdom of God like a child”? (15) What does it mean to have a “childlike faith”? Is there a difference between having a childlike faith and having a childish faith?

7. Fill in the blanks from verse 17: “…what must __ ___ to inherit eternal life?”. Does the gospel require us to do (perform, behave) something in order to be saved? In verse 18, is Jesus denying His deity? When Jesus says, “No one is good except God alone,” (18) He is implying to the rich young ruler that by calling Him good, he is also calling Him _____. Considering the remainder of his interaction with Jesus (19-25), was the rich young ruler ready to concede that Jesus was God?

8. Take a look back at the Ten Commandments. The first table of the Law (Commandments 1-4) deals with the (vertical) relationship between people and Whom? The second table of the Law (Commandments 5-10) deals with the (horizontal) relationship between people and whom? Examine verse 19. Which table of the Law do all of these commands come from? So if what the rich young ruler says in verse 20 is true, with whom is he in a right relationship by keeping all these commands? Examine verses 21-25 and compare the man’s love of his riches (and refusal to give them up to follow Jesus) to the first table of the Law. Which Commandment(s) is he breaking? This demonstrates he is not in right relationship with Whom? What do verses 23-25 teach about the idolatry of wealth versus following Jesus?

9. Some people use verse 21 to teach that anyone who ministers to the poor is in right standing with God (i.e. saved, going to Heaven), regardless of whether or not they’ve repented and placed their faith in Christ. Examining this verse in the context of this passage and in the context of the biblical gospel, is that truly what this verse is teaching? Is verse 21 a command for all Christians to follow (a prescriptive verse) or is it simply a description of something Jesus said to this particular person to elicit a particular response (a descriptive verse)?

10. Consider verses 26-27 in their immediate context – the power of idolatry to keep people from Christ. Have you ever prayed for the salvation of someone you felt was a hopeless case, that it would be pretty much impossible for her to get saved? How does this passage offer hope about those “hard cases”? Compare with John 6:44.

11. Examine verses 28-31. Sometimes people take verses 29-30 to mean that if you follow Jesus you’ll get more houses, lands, loved ones, and wealth. Think about Peter (28), the rest of the disciples, and Paul- what they left behind to follow Jesus and to be founders of the New Testament church. Think about the hardships and martyrdom they faced. What does this passage mean in light of their suffering? Could this passage be pointing to God providing for our needs and the love and comfort of church family rather than the promise of temporal wealth?

Homework

Mark 10:1,17 again mention Jesus’ travels. Find a good Bible map of Israel during Jesus’ lifetime (there’s probably one in the back of your Bible or Google “Bible maps”), go back over Mark 1-10, and trace Jesus’ travels on the map. You might even want to print out a map you can write on and mark the various places He visited and routes He took.

Suggested Memory Verse

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Nabeel, Spiritual Leadership, Essential Oils…)

Michelle Lesley

Today’s edition of The Mailbag is a tad different in format. Usually, I answer one reader’s question in a long form article. Today, I’m addressing various questions from several readers in a “short answer” format.

Just a reminder- I changed my comments/e-mail/messages policy a few months ago, so I’m not responding individually to most e-mails and messages. Here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

Have you heard of Nabeel Qureshi? What do you think of his teaching and ministry?

I know little about Nabeel except that he was saved out of Islam and now has a ministry that centers on evangelizing Muslims. I’ve never listened to him speak or read any of his books, so I can’t comment one way or the other on the doctrinal specifics he teaches.

However, he is not someone I’d recommend anyone follow. Tragically, Nabeel was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, and shortly thereafter decided that the thing to do would be to head to Bethel “Church” in Redding, California to have them pray over him for supernatural healing. If you’re not familiar with Bethel, or its leader, Bill Johnson, you may wonder why that’s problematic.

It’s problematic because Bethel is basically ground zero for the New Apostolic Reformation heresy- the most dangerous and destructive heresy attacking the church at large today. Dozens of Christians familiar with NAR false doctrine urged Nabeel on social media not to go to Bethel, and Nabeel blew them off, went anyway, and came back downplaying Bethel’s false teaching as minor, inconsequential differences in theology.

Nabeel also apparently believes in extra-biblical revelation as evidenced by this July 2017 Facebook post:

Cancer is a horrid, painful ordeal. I sympathize with Nabeel’s suffering and have prayed for him. But as our Lord so beautifully demonstrated at His temptation in the wilderness and on the cross, even the worst kind of suffering is not an excuse to compromise Scripture or disobey God.

Popular False Teachers (Bethel/Bill Johnson)
What is the New Apostolic Reformation?

Do you have any resources you’d recommend for women who are married to men who aren’t leading spiritually?

I know it can be really frustrating and painful when you desperately want your husband to be the spiritual leader of your home and he either can’t (because he’s not saved) or he won’t (due to spiritual immaturity, fear, disobedience, etc.)

I’m sure there are books and resources out there that at least touch on this topic, but I don’t read a lot of materials about marriage, so I’m not familiar enough with any to recommend them. (Perhaps someone reading this might like to make a suggestion in the comments? Doctrinally sound authors only, please.) Grace to You’s resources and store and Ligonier’s learn and store are always a good place to look for solid books and resources.

There are a few things I would recommend aside from marriage books, however:

♦ Pray for your husband, and be prepared that you may be in it for the long haul. If he’s not saved, pray for his salvation. If he’s saved but disobedient in this area, pray for his obedience, and ask God to show you how to encourage and help (not nag) him along the way. Ask God to increase your love, understanding, and compassion for your husband.

♦ If your husband is saved and willing to lead but feels inadequate, see if you can find him some help – a Christian men’s group, an older gentleman in your church who’d be willing to disciple him, some counseling sessions with the pastor – if he’s open to the idea of you helping or suggesting in this way. Be careful not to be pushy or bossy about these things or harp on him about attending.

♦ Be faithful to your personal Bible study time. First of all, you need it. Second of all, it sets a good example for your husband.

♦ Any time your husband makes the slightest step toward godly spiritual leadership, encourage him and affirm his leading. That sounds easy right now, but, at least early on, part of that is going to include you submitting to some decisions he makes that you don’t agree with. As long as those decisions aren’t unbiblical, grit your teeth and submit, because…

♦ The Bible says your behavior can have a tremendous impact on your husband. Take some time to study 1 Peter 3:1-6 and 1 Corinthians 7 (especially verses 12-16). These passages both deal with wives who have unbelieving or disobedient husbands, and how our behavior can either encourage them toward godliness or become a stumbling block to them.

Is it dangerous to be involved in yoga even though I don’t practice the meditation part of it? I just like the stretches and exercise I get from it. What are your thoughts?

“Dangerous” isn’t the word I’d choose. “Disobedient” is a better fit. Here are my thoughts (remember, the search bar is your friend):

Should Christians do yoga?

What’s your take on this essential oils craze so many Christian women seem to be into?

There are a lot of different facets to this question:

♦ Some companies who make and sell essential oils and some people who use them do so in conjunction with beliefs in chakras, energies, auras, and all that New Age movement jazz. (Christian Answers for the New Age has more in depth information on those issues.) No Christian should be dabbling around in occultic beliefs and practices.

♦ The oils themselves are spiritually “inert,” so picking up a bottle at the store is not a sin (though you might want to do a little research on the store and/or company that makes the oil to make sure you’re not financing beliefs you don’t want to support).

♦ There are multi-level marketing (MLM) businesses that sell essential oils in the same way people sell Tupperware or Pampered Chef. If that is the business you have chosen, make sure you’re not selling for a company that subscribes to the New Age stuff I mentioned above, don’t annoy your friends, and don’t make a practice of doing business at church. If you have a friend who MLM’s non-New Agey essential oils and you want to buy some, that’s absolutely fine, biblically speaking.

♦ If essential oils work on your minor ailments and that’s what you want to use instead of over the counter medications, there’s no Scriptural problem with that. Just be a good steward of the body and health God gave you and make sure you get proper medical attention for symptoms and illnesses that require it.

I read your article, Should Christians Attend Homosexual “Weddings”? and wanted to know, should Christians attend the wedding of a Christian and an unsaved person? What about the wedding of two unsaved (heterosexual) people?

I would advise Christians not to attend the wedding of a professing believer to an unbeliever due to Scripture’s admonition against this in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. As with a homosexual “wedding,” Christians should not be supporting, participating in, or giving the appearance of supporting, sin, and a believer marrying someone he or she knows is an unbeliever is sin.

There is no biblical prohibition against an unsaved man and an unsaved woman getting married, so unless there are other grounds on which you cannot support the union (for example- you know he abuses her or you know she’s been cheating on him during the engagement), you would not be supporting, participating in, or appearing to support sin by attending the wedding of two unsaved heterosexual people. (May I suggest a couple’s Bible or Bible study book as a wedding gift?)

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Remarriage After Salvation

Michelle Lesley

 

Prior to getting saved, I had married and then divorced. Once I became a Christian, I married my second husband. God has blessed us with children and we have been married nearly twenty years. What is your take on a second marriage when your first is before becoming a Christian?

Whew, this is a tough question! It’s a really good one to ask, too, because the simple act of wondering about it indicates a desire to be obedient to God and an understanding that, in most cases, divorce is a sin- one that God takes just as seriously as other sins. And I think we forget that sometimes because divorce has become so prevalent in our culture and, sadly, even the church.

The reason this is a tough question is that there’s no particular Bible verse that specifically says, “Yes, it’s OK for you to marry again if your divorce was prior to your salvation,” or “No, it’s not OK.” So, we have to glean what we can from the Scriptures we have.

There are two main topics we need to examine here: what the Bible says about divorce and what the Bible says about salvation. We need to work backwards a little bit, so let’s start with divorce.

It is helpful to start off by reading what Scripture says about marriage and divorce. The central passages are Genesis 2:18-25, Malachi 2:13-16, Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:3-9, and 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. The Bible specifically cites two¹ biblically allowable grounds for divorce in the New Testament: adultery and abandonment by an unsaved spouse.

God does not require divorce in these situations. Indeed, as far as it depends on the Christian spouse who has been sinned against, and is possible, forgiveness and reconciliation – especially in light of how much Christ has forgiven us and reconciled us to Himself – should be the goal. I personally know of marriages that survived these situations and have brought much glory to God and hope to other couples as a result. Yes, it’s excruciatingly hard. No, it’s not fair. It was hard and unfair for Jesus to go to the cross for our sin, too, but He was willing because of His love for us and for the Father.

Seeking a divorce for reasons¹ other than these two – such as irreconcilable differences, “falling out of love,” etc. – are not allowed by Scripture for Christians.

But our sister asking the question wasn’t a Christian when she got divorced. How does that factor in?

Here, we need to recall the nature of salvation- the foundational differences between a lost person and a saved person. First Corinthians 2:12-14, John 14:23-24, Hebrews 11:6, and Romans 3:9-20 help us understand that – while a lost person might sometimes be able to outwardly behave in a way which appears to comply with Scripture – that’s not obedience to God. Obedience is an action of the heart that is made possible only by the transformation and indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Only saved people are transformed and indwelt by the Holy Spirit, which means only saved people can obey God and His word. So, not to over-simplify, but, basically, everything lost people do is sin because they are in a spiritual state (devoid of the Holy Spirit) that renders them unable to be obedient to God. This means that our reader’s divorce was sinful – regardless of whether or not it was for one of the two biblical reasons – because all of her behavior prior to salvation – divorce, driving a car, giving money to charity, eating breakfast – sprang from a heart that belonged to her father, the Devil.

(I know that’s pretty heavy, so if you’re not grasping it, or find yourself in disagreement, I’d encourage you to go back and read over the Scriptures I’ve hyperlinked above.)

But when someone repents and trusts Christ as Savior, all of that sin gets wiped out instantaneously. The old has gone, 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us. Salvation is more than just new life, it’s also a death. It’s a death to sin. Death to the old man, the old desires, the old ways, the old thoughts. That whole sinful ball of wax gets crucified – nailed to the tree – with Christ, and dies. Including that divorce.

And when Christ resurrects us from that death, we are born into a new life. Baptism is a beautiful, visible picture of this invisible spiritual truth: we are buried with Christ in baptism and raised to walk with Him in newness of life. The old has gone. The new has come. A new life. A clean slate. Life has just started for this sister. There is no biblical reason she should not have married a godly husband.

In closing, there are a few things that don’t pertain to this particular reader’s question (since her divorce, salvation, and remarriage are already a done deal), but which might be pertinent to others in similar situations.

1. This reader did not ask whether or not she should leave her second husband (nor does she want to- she is happily married). She already knows that would be wrong, and she’s correct about that. We don’t fix one sin by committing another.

2. If this reader had asked me this question prior to marrying her second husband. I would have urged her to first explore the possibility – depending on the circumstances¹ and with intense pastoral counseling – of reconciliation with her first husband. That is what 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 is all about.

3. Marriage is a huge thing. Divorce is a huge thing. Remarriage is a huge thing. Whatever your particular situation might be, search the Scriptures about it, ask God for wisdom and direction, and get wise counsel from your pastor.

4. This was a challenging question to answer. I’d like to thank my husband and two of my pastor buddies for their help. Thanks, guys. Y’all are awesome!

¹Physical and sexual abuse within marriage is a serious issue, but it was not a factor in this particular reader’s question, so I am keeping the scope narrow and not addressing the issue of abuse in this article. If you are being abused, please get yourself and your children to safety and seek help. If you know someone who is being abused, help her.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: A Lost Husband, a Saved Wife, and an Apostate Church

Michelle Lesley

My husband is unsaved, so I’ve had to take on the spiritual leadership of our home. As I’ve been growing in my discernment, I’ve learned that the churches we have been attending are not doctrinally sound. Thus, we have changed churches several times. My husband will attend church with our family, but is comfortable at our current church and doesn’t want to change again. Unfortunately, our current church is also doctrinally unsound. I feel very uncomfortable here and want to find a new, doctrinally sound church, but I’m concerned: a) that I won’t be submitting to my husband if I insist we leave, and, b) that my husband will refuse to attend church any more if I insist we leave this one. What should I do?

This question is actually an amalgam of two e-mails I’ve recently received asking basically the same question, which leads me to believe there are many other Christian women out there in similar circumstances.

It is heartbreaking when a husband and wife, whose souls God meant to be knit together as one, are separated by the gulf of eternity. It’s an unavoidable situation when two lost people get married and one subsequently gets saved, but it is completely avoidable if you’re saved before you get married. Single ladies, please be wise and learn from the pain your unequally yoked sisters have gone through: do not marry, or even date, someone you aren’t certain (as certain as you can possibly be, anyway) is a believer.

Normally, this is the type of question I decline to answer because it’s a situation that’s best handled by pastoral counsel. I don’t know all the nuances of the situation, the personalities involved, the doctrine of the particular church, etc. However, the readers who have asked my advice have both indicated that they’re in doctrinally unsound churches, so I can’t, in good conscience, refer them to “pastors” who may do more harm than good with their counsel. So, the best I can do is provide some biblical food for thought for these ladies to consider as they make their decisions.

Pray
God is so gracious and kind to remind us that if we need wisdom to handle things and make decisions, He will give it to us. When you’ve asked God for that wisdom, trust Him to give it to you and to guide you.

Additionally, ask God to provide you with a godly friend, pastor, or counselor to help you walk through this situation. You may wish to seek out a doctrinally sound church and set up a counseling appointment with the pastor or an elder. You could also look for an ACBC certified Biblical Counselor in your area (not just a “Christian counselor/therapist”- ACBC counselors are trained to help you apply correctly handled Scripture to your situation in a doctrinally sound way).

Finally, don’t neglect to pray for your husband’s salvation, and that God would soften his heart to attend a doctrinally sound church.

Study God’s Word
If you’re a believer, this should already be part of your daily life. Stay in the Word to keep yourself spiritually nourished, to gain biblical wisdom, and to be led by the Holy Spirit. It may be of some comfort to you to know that in the early days of the church, many Christian women (and men) were going through the exact same situation- being married to an unbeliever. There are a couple of passages that address this situation which you may want to give some extra study:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
1 Peter 3:1-6

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:13-16

Submission? As the 1 Peter passage above makes clear, biblical submission is one of the ways Christian women can prepare the way of the Lord in the life of an unbelieving husband. We should certainly submit to our husbands in anything that doesn’t conflict with Scripture. However, our first loyalty and submission are to Christ, so a Christian woman cannot “submit” to her husband if he is asking her to do something that Christ has clearly said not to do in His written Word (I’ve written more about the issue of submission in other situations here and here.).

As you consider submitting to your husband in the various aspects of this situation, study these passages regarding sitting under the instruction of false teachers. Do your husband’s desires about staying in a doctrinally unsound church conflict with what God’s word says? That’s something you will have to pray about, study about, and, if possible, get some godly counsel about.

Practical observations/suggestions
Here’s something to take into consideration: It doesn’t do any good for someone to go to a “church” that teaches false doctrine just for the sake of being able to say that person attends church. In fact, it may actually harden his heart to the truth of the gospel.

Regarding false converts (people who think they’re Christians but actually aren’t), it’s often said, “Before we can get them saved, we first have to get them unsaved.” In other words, we have to do the hard work of “undoing” the false doctrine they’ve been taught, which has convinced them they’re saved, so they can come to terms with the fact that they aren’t actually saved, in order to correctly teach them the gospel so that they can truly be saved. Consider whether, by continuing to attend a church that teaches false doctrine with your husband, you might be doing something right now that will be difficult to undo later. A garden variety lost person who doesn’t attend church is no more lost than a lost person attending a church that teaches false doctrine.

Would your husband be open to staying home from church on Sunday for several weeks or months while you visit churches alone until you find one you’re confident is doctrinally sound?

Many churches have midweek, Saturday, and Sunday evening services. Perhaps you could explore another church on your own during non-Sunday morning services for a time until you’re sure it teaches sound doctrine, and then ask your husband if he’d be willing to change to that church.

Your husband probably views his church attendance as something he’s doing for you or for the kids. Is there any kind of “deal” you could work out where he changes to a doctrinally sound church “for you,” and, in exchange, you do something for him (make his favorite meal every week, take over a chore he hates, etc.)? He might be more willing to change churches if he thinks there’s a benefit to him for doing so.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Encouragement, Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Barbara’s Story

Michelle Lesley

Barbara’s Testimony

I can only start with, “God help me, I’m so very weak.”

Last March I trembled my way to pre-op for open heart surgery. With promises from my husband I’d be okay, I kissed him hurriedly goodbye. I opened my eyes, two open heart surgeries and seventeen days later. Still nearer to death than life. My darling husband smiling down at me.

I couldn’t move. I was so very weak, hallucinating from the drugs they had used to keep me sedated all that time. I was confused and scared. Nothing made sense.

Eleven months later I’ve been through a grinding process of rehab. Eleven weeks in the hospital, finger amputations (tops, tips, half my thumb, toes), lung failure, kidney failure (kidneys are better!) but NO SURGEON could fix my spiritual heart.

I strove, oh I have and do, to live this life as a godly wife, even when some “charismatic ” friends said it was foolish and not really what the Bible said. My sister arguing with me that serving gets you nowhere, if men are too weak or lazy just step in (as if I’m not weak or lazy!)

But there he was, Dave, smiling down at me, so happy I was still with him. I couldn’t move from my bed, I was attached to dozens of lines, but he only left me to go to the hotel to sleep. For weeks he was with me constantly. He made sure I was okay. For the last year he has served me, while I’ve been crazy humbled.

Every day, he helps me dress, get washed, gets me to therapy. Every day, he makes me tea (the best!) and toast. He makes sure I have lunch and checks in on me often. He cooks dinners (say “Hello Fresh”) and then gets me tucked in at night. He listens to Steve Lawson with me in the morning. He prays with and for me.

Why did I type all this? Because, though I was the server, he was a server too. We were a team in that regard. Then it shifted. I was no longer a participant in our marriage in any physical way. AT. ALL.

And he just didn’t care. Oh yes, my pride made me cry a lot. My fear made me cry a lot. But he just said, “Barb, you’ve served me for 27 years. I got this now.” He did. He puts together my 65 pills a day, he rubs my destroyed feet, he holds me when I’m just too tired and I feel I can’t go on. He always has been a godly husband to me, but Jesus has shone through, shining into the lives of tens of other (mostly women) who watch his grave, grace-filled care of me and ask us, “Why?”. And we get to share the gospel.

It’ll be a year soon and I struggle NOW more than ever putting my life in his hands, shutting my tongue, speaking kindly, knowing that my life must have room for tragedy, but that God is working it all out for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I don’t know any more about the length of my life now than I ever did. God has surprised me with extended life since my first breath! So, I pray I remember these simple but freeing truths. Freedom from sin, free to trust, free to simply be.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!