Sound Doctrine – Page 34 – Michelle Lesley

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Soul Ties, SBC Communion, Women in children’s ministry, Heretical book disposal)

January 15, 2018June 23, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourrri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

I was wondering what your views were on “ungodly soul ties”, in reference to past relationships? If I was in a previous relationship with someone who I was involved with physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, how would I loose myself from that?

The concept of “soul ties” is not biblical. It is not mentioned or even hinted at in the Bible. Proponents of this heretical doctrine, as you can see in this article, Basic Introduction to Soul Ties,¹ will try to convince you that soul ties are biblical by taking all manner of Bible verses out of context and stretching and twisting them like Silly Putty to try get them to mean what they want them to mean. All you have to do is look up the verses they cite, and read them in context to see that none of these passages say that one person’s soul can be literally bound to another person’s soul.

I find it especially laughable that many of the verses they cite in support of soul ties are the “one flesh” verses, such as Ephesians 5:31 (which is actually a quote of Genesis 2:24). Don’t you think that if God, the creator of language, meant to convey in these verses that two people’s souls were tied together, that He would have said “one soul” instead of “one flesh“? Or that He would have clearly said: “In this type of close relationship, the two people’s souls are bound together.”? This is God we’re talking about, here. He’s perfectly capable of explaining Himself clearly. He knows what words mean, and He never makes a mistake and chooses the wrong word. And yet, time and time again in Scripture, He uses the words “one flesh” to describe the intimacy of marriage and sexuality, and He never, anywhere in Scripture, even suggests that the souls of two people are bound together under any circumstances.

Soul ties are just one more piece of false doctrine usually taught by those in the heretical New Apostolic Reformation camp. (When I Googled “soul ties”, articles by Kris Vallotton {Bethel}, Terri Savelle Foy, and Paula White – all among the worst of the worst of the NAR and prosperity preaching – were on the first page of results. That should tell you something.) There is no way your spirit can be tied or bound to someone else’s spirit.

I’m not sure what you mean by being involved with someone “mentally” and “spiritually”, but I’m assuming you don’t mean that you were in Mensa together or that you had long talks about theology and frequently prayed together. Those might be fond memories that make you wistful, but no mental or spiritual activity you participate in with someone else binds your soul to his or is something you need to be “loosed” from.

What you need to do is read your Bible, understand what it says about sin, and if you sinned in any way in this relationship (for example, sex outside of wedlock, putting your love for this person ahead of your love for the Lord, being influenced by this person to lie, etc.) you need to repent, not “be loosed” (because you’re not bound to this person, and because repentance from sin is the biblical way of thinking about this situation). You may also need to avoid spending time with or talking to this person for a while. And if you’re really having trouble getting over the relationship, you might want to seek counsel from a doctrinally sound pastor (one who understands that soul ties are unbiblical) or an ACBC certified Biblical Counselor.

That’s truly all there is to it. The spirit-realm mumbo jumbo of “soul ties” is a bunch of mystical malarkey. Your spirit isn’t tied to anyone else’s spirit, you’re just sad that the relationship is over, having difficulty moving on with your life, and, perhaps missing the person. And it’s OK if that sounds earthly and pedestrian. Because it is. But if Christ is your Savior, you can trust Him to carry you through it.

Here are some resources you might find helpful:

What does the Bible say about soul ties? at Got Questions

Soul Ties? I at Fighting for the Faith (starts around 34:14)

Soul Ties? II at Fighting for the Faith

¹Just in case it isn’t abundantly obvious, this is a heretical New Apostolic Reformation article/website, and I certainly don’t recommend it.

We recently moved and have been attending a Southern Baptist church. They have not had communion for over two months. Isn’t it the norm to have communion at least once a month?

Also there is no women’s ministry that I can be involved with which is very disappointing to me. I would even be willing to teach/lead a women’s study but since we are new to this church we are still waiting and learning our place. We hesitate to make ourselves known as possibly unsubmissive or question why they do things the way they do.

Why no communion or women’s Bible study? Your thoughts would be enlightening.

These are such great questions because they help me, as a Southern Baptist, think about the way we do things and how those practices might be perceived by visitors or new members.

Communion/Lord’s Supper: Every Southern Baptist church is autonomous, so each church has its own policy or practice about how often the Lord’s Supper is observed. There are some SBC churches who hold the Lord’s Supper every week and probably others who hold it only once or twice a year, although I don’t personally know of any who hold it that infrequently.

In my experience, most Southern Baptist churches observe the Lord’s Supper several times a year, usually on a schedule like the first Sunday of the month, once a quarter, or every “fifth Sunday” (in months that have five Sundays). In addition to these scheduled observances, many churches also observe the Lord’s Supper at their Christmas Eve, Good Friday, or Easter service.

Women’s Ministry: I understand your disappointment in the lack of women’s ministry at the church. I would be somewhat disappointed too. There could be a variety of reasons for this. Maybe they had a women’s ministry that veered off into error or personality conflicts, so the pastor put it on hiatus for a while. Maybe no one stepped up to volunteer to lead it. Or, maybe the pastor wants everyone’s focus to be on the worship service and Sunday School with no distractions. But even if there isn’t a formal women’s ministry, you can still invite women over to your home, go out for coffee or dinner together, or study God’s word and pray together with a few others. I found this article – Ministry to Women When There’s No “Women’s Ministry” – really helpful.

Asking Questions: I would encourage you and your husband to set up an appointment with the pastor and ask away! It is certainly not unsubmissive to sit in his office and politely say, “We’re new here and we were just wondering about…” Most pastors I know would love for potential members to do this. (In fact at my church, once a month my pastor holds a sort of “orientation”/Q&A class for potential members during the Sunday School hour.) You need to know where he and the church stand on various doctrinal issues and practices so you won’t be unpleasantly surprised after you’re already members. This is especially important if you’re new to being a Southern Baptist as well as being new to the church. If the pastor in any way discourages you from asking genuine, courteous questions or sees your questions as a threat to his authority, that’s a red flag telling you that you should not join this church.

In the past I purchased books and “studies” by authors I now know are false teachers- an embarrassing amount of them really. I am wondering now what do with all of them…I don’t feel I am mature enough in my walk with Christ yet to read any of them and test them against Scripture myself, but I also don’t feel like passing them on to someone else is right either. Just wondering your thoughts on this.

You’re correct, you should not pass on books containing false doctrine to others, donate them to libraries (especially church libraries), Goodwill, or thrift stores, or sell them in a garage sale. The only scenario I can think of in which passing along a book authored by a false teacher would be OK is if it is to someone you know is a mature, doctrinally sound Christian who needs it for research purposes or to write a review of it warning people away from it.

I would also suggest that you not simply throw throw the books in the trash or recycling unless you render them unreadable (ex: scribbling on or tearing up the pages) first. People have been known to take “freebies” out of the trash.

Here are two ways I’ve handled heretical books I’ve been given:

1. Keep them for research purposes. (If you think you might be tempted to read them and you don’t feel like you’re spiritually mature enough to handle that yet, maybe box them up and put them in storage for a later date.) You might want to mark them in some sort of way – in case you lose the book and someone else finds it or something like that – indicating that the book is false doctrine. My friend, Pastor Nate Pickowicz, has an awesome stamp for his “research only” books:

2. Burn them. I know it reeks of Nazism and censorship by wild-eyed preachers of yesteryear, but it’s biblical, it keeps false doctrine out of the hands of others, and these books can actually have a positive use for kindling if you have a fireplace or chiminea. (Please use all fire safety precautions. Also, it is not necessary to burn the books publicly.)

Is it Biblical for a woman to be in charge of the children’s ministry? Especially one who is not doctrinally sound?

It isn’t biblical for anyone who’s unrepentantly and unteachably doctrinally unsound to be in charge of anything in the church.

If it’s a case like Apollos, in which the person in question simply doesn’t know any better, but changes her ways and embraces sound doctrine when corrected, that’s cause for giving glory to God. (Also, she might need more training in the Scriptures before she resumes her position of service.)

But if it’s a case in which the person persists in teaching false doctrine or acting sinfully, that’s cause for church discipline. And if she steadfastly refuses to repent despite biblical rebuke, she needs to be disfellowshipped from membership in the church. Of course, it should go without saying (unfortunately, it doesn’t these days) that people who aren’t church members and/or aren’t saved should not be given any position of service or leadership in the church.

It could be OK for a doctrinally sound woman to be in charge of the children’s ministry, depending what you mean by “in charge”, and depending on whether or not she can do so without violating Scripture:

1. She should not be considered as, or bear the professional title of, “pastor”. It is unbiblical for a woman to be a pastor, and if she’s not a pastor, then bearing the professional title of “pastor” is lying.

2. In her leadership duties, she should not teach adult men (for example, men who teach children’s Sunday School classes, if she oversees children’s Sunday School) the Scriptures or exercise authority over them.

3. The pastor, or an appropriate elder, should vet and approve any curricula and materials, guest speakers, activities, etc., she wishes to use.

If a pastor or elder oversees her leadership so that she is acting under his authority and at his direction, and she is not violating Scripture by preaching to men, teaching men Scripture, or exercising authority over men, I don’t see why it would be a problem for a woman to lead the children’s ministry. In fact, Christian women and churches who handle this properly could be a superb example and model for other Christian women and churches.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Carey’s Story

January 9, 2018August 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Carey’s Story

I grew up with a mentally ill single mother. My father had had an affair with her and went back to his wife before I was born. After my Christian step mother found out about me, she would witness to my mother and I over the phone. My home life was very unstable and chaotic and I almost committed suicide at the age of 13. I had decided I did not believe in God.

A few months later, Child Protective Services took me away from my mother and placed me in foster care. The first time my father ever called me was to ask if I would like to live with him and his wife- under the condition I would go to church with her. He did not go nor was he the spiritual leader of their home.

My father was awarded temporary custody and the day I moved in with him was the day I met him face to face.

I began to go to my stepmom’s charismatic, nondenominational church when I was 14 and was saved several months later. I had a deep rooted resentment and bitterness towards my dad and it was at this church that I was introduced to being “slain in the spirit”. The leaders would pray over me at the altar and although it felt as though they were pushing me over at times, I would fall to the floor “overcome by the Holy Spirit”. I grew up around prophesy, tongues, and women in unbiblical roles. Despite- and not because of- this, the Lord was merciful and gracious and through the years He did indeed deliver me of the stronghold of hatred towards my dad and I grew in my faith of God’s sovereignty. Unfortunately, however, my stepmom was heavily influenced by televised false teachers such as Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Marilyn Hickey, etc., and would share many unbiblical, yet convincing, ear tickling things with me. She was my number one mentor and a best friend. I also struggled tremendously in trying to be a good Christian but fell into many temptations such as extreme promiscuity and partying over the course of almost a decade. It seriously is only by God’s unfailing mercy that I am alive today.

In my early 20s, I married my second husband while in the Army. We were a “dual military couple”. I became pregnant with our son and discharged from the service to become a stay at home mom. I found a Southern Baptist Church while we were stationed in Texas and it was there that I grew tremendously in my love for God’s infallible Word and was discipled by our Sunday school leaders, particularly the wife. I was baptized and my husband soon began attending after initially refusing to.

However, our marriage was in a very terrible state and he was abusive.

Being an Army wife afforded me many opportunities and it was through joining the military ministry, PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) that in many ways stunted my growth in biblical discernment, wisdom, and Truth. I became super involved and volunteered on and off for several years. I did many Bible “studies” by Beth Moore and others by leaders such as Priscilla Shirer.

At our next duty station, which was in my home state, we joined a church where I joined a prayer group that was led by the worship and youth pastor. He was a young man that was deeply deceived by the teachings of Bethel Church in Redding, California and many like-minded leaders, including the “Toronto Blessing”. The focus is on bringing heaven to earth, spiritual gifts, and signs and wonders. It is all very much based on emotionalism and New Age mysticism, but laced with Christian lingo and severely twisted Scriptures. I became even more influenced by leaders in the Word of Faith, “Name it and claim it”, NAR, post-modern Christianity, etc.

It was during this time that I fell into going outside of God’s Word and I would literally beg God for “more”, to be “undone” by the Holy Spirit and for Him to “visit” me. I wanted the power that I was duped into believing I deserved more of and was entitled to as a child of God. I would ask and even sing along to the song, “Fill me up, God”. I experienced being “drunk in the spirit”, received numerous visions, words of knowledge, operated in the gifts of tongues and prophesy, and had many incredibly convincing experiences. Much of what I was caught up in was contemplative prayer- emptying ourselves and letting “jesus” speak to us and giving “him” control over our prayer times. Only occasionally was a Bible actually opened (honestly, I used it the most during our meetings) yet we took precious care of the journal we would write in to document our prophesies and visions. Some of the other prayer group “members” would travel up to the “Toronto Blessing” church and even attended Sozo meetings out in the west. We also operated in automatic writing and speaking, and spoke in tongues without interpretation. The pastor also would take the teenagers on “treasure hunts”. They would pray, receive “clues” in visions and other ways “the spirit” would tell them, then go out into the city and find their targets. They would then approach the people and pray for them. This of course was very special, secretive operations only to be known by certain people.

We were taught that every decision in life should be directed by “the spirit”, neglecting the truth that “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3.16). It was all very mystical and completely unbiblical.

During all of this I was still in the Word and there were many red flags that would wave, yet I was so caught up in the feelings and “power” of the experiences I was having. Not to mention I was being taught by a pastor who seemed very knowledgeable and had a “passion for the Lord” so what did I know? Truly he must know more than me.

When you are caught up in this heresy, you are always looking for the next high. You are never satisfied with God, despite the fact that Psalm 107.9 says “For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” One is truly enslaved by greed, lust, and idolatry.

You will do anything you think is necessary to remain on the mountaintop and avoid the valleys at all costs. Although I never wavered in faith of God, my walk was extremely chaotic and like a roller coaster. I would go through severe bouts of depression. Yet I also would experience extreme highs and excitement while reading Scripture eisegetically. I based my “spiritual maturity” and my relationship with Jesus on my feelings and by whether or not I could “feel His presence”, as the focus in most of these “ministries” is on how you feel. Because I was always “up and down”, I actually wondered if I was mentally ill, given family history. Throughout the years – I would “storm the gates of hell”, interceding for my kids and “binding” the devil of his plans for myself and my family. I would actually yell at satan, deceived of what true Biblical spiritual warfare is.

Keep in mind, it was during this time that the abuse in my marriage was close to being at its worst. My husband was not at all the spiritual leader of our home and I held a tremendous hatred towards him and would fantasize and even pray that he would die. I knew that this was wrong; I just kept begging God to deliver me in whatever way He saw fit.

Our group was very secretive and the attitude among us was prideful; we had elevated opinions of ourselves and “our gifts”. But never would we have admitted that. Thankfully the other pastor and elders of the church soon caught on to what the pastor was teaching the teenagers and the heresy that he was spreading. He was removed from his position and it caused a division within the church. This threw my world upside down and our prayer group split, with certain members leaving the church. One lady actually said “my gifts are not welcome here”. However, I had never felt like I was a true member of the group- something was always off and I felt as if they didn’t fully trust me. Another former “member” I have since spoken with admitted to feeling the same. I’m pretty confident that I don’t even know the full extent of the dangers they were involved with. And for that – I am now thankful!

I also was incredibly involved in the church and volunteered in many areas. I even had a key to the building- which was a source of pride, one sin that I was very enslaved by.

I love to read so it was also during this time I had many “Christian” books and I began to be very confused and unsure of what exactly I believed because I had so many “teachers”.

We are currently at another duty station and it has been during this last year and a half that God placed someone in our Facebook newsfeed that will at times biblically expose false teachers. Despite other times where I would start to research and seek the truth, yet fall right back into the lies, this time I dove in. I have found legitimate sources and people who shine the light on Biblical truth. With the Lord removing the blinders I had on for so long, reading the Word exegetically and for how God inspired it to be written, and resolving to not look outside of His Truth, I am coming to a true, Biblical understanding of Who He really is (and who He is not).

It has taken me many months to let go of the “mind blowing” experiences I have had throughout the years and accept the realization that the majority of what I thought was the Holy Spirit was not Him. I had opened myself up to the occult- all in the name of Christianity and being tricked into believing I was “anointed”.

I am thankful that during all these years I had been journaling almost every day so I have proof of the horrendous dangers I was caught in. I have considered destroying them but have chosen to keep them and instead plan to write a letter such as this testimony to precede the journals for anyone who may someday read them. I want people to understand that where I am in life now and in my understanding of God and His sovereignty does not come from a fundamentalist, legalistic, outside opinion. I was very much involved in and deceived as you have read.

When we arrived at our current duty station, I was not as discerning as I am now growing to be. We started attending and stayed at a church for over a year. In the time the Lord has been exposing the lies I have been trapped by, He showed me that it is not a church to be at. There are many reasons we left, but one is that their “worship” music is more self and “spirit” focused. Much of it comes from Bethel, Jesus Culture, and Hillsong. We have since made the move and now attend one where God is truly glorified in the exegesis preaching, studying of the Scriptures (not some topical study some “teacher” has written), music worship, and fellowship.

I am truly thankful for all the Lord has done, is doing, and will continue to do in my life. Especially for delivering me from the stronghold of false teaching. Now that I am being led in truth and I’m growing in discernment, my mind is clear, and I am on a steady path walking with my Lord.

And as a side note (which is another testimony in itself!)- He has delivered me from my abusive marriage by way of revealing to my husband his sin- he has since admitted to and has repented of the abuse. He truly is not the man I was married to all those years. He no longer treats me the way he did for 9.5 years. Although he is not a “super spiritual leader”, God continues to work in him. And I am continuing to learn to follow the whole counsel of God- to not pick Scriptures out of context to support my opinions or what someone is trying to teach. It was in doing this with verses on marriage that kept me bound in abuse and almost destroyed our family. Our marriage is definitely not perfect and there are still things that the Lord is working on in my heart, but we overcame almost divorcing and the Lord continues to heal us.

I truly believe that our marriage- as well as my father and stepmother’s- is an example of the destruction that can happen when men do not accept their God-given roles in leading their families centered on Christ and grounded in the Bible. Of course, women also neglect their ordained roles and our society suffers because of each person’s choices.

For everyone reading this – please know that God’s inspired Word and His grace is all sufficient. We do not need to- nor should we- look to any false gospel (which is no Gospel at all) to have our needs and/or desires met. Every need/desire we will ever have in this life has already been provided for by Jesus Christ dying on the cross and His resurrection.

I want to thank Michelle for her work in contending for the faith once for all delivered (Jude 1.3) and for allowing me to share my condensed (at least I tried to keep it short!) testimony.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!

Discernment, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Replacement Theology, Spiritual Gifts Test, Books by false teachers…)

January 8, 2018January 12, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Can you explain what replacement theology is?

I can, but there are pastors and theologians way smarter than I am who have done a much better job of it than I could. I reached out to my friend Pastor Gabe “WWUTT” Hughes for some help and he addressed the question in this episode of the When We Understand the Text podcast (starting at about 1:30):

WWUTT 565 Q&A Replaced Protesting Eligibility?

You may also find the following resources helpful:

The Church and Israel: The Issue at Ligonier

What is replacement theology / supersessionism? at Got Questions

What is replacement theology? at CARM

Supersessionism at Theopedia

I want to get more involved in serving my church. Can you recommend a spiritual gifts survey web site so I can find out what my spiritual gifts are and how I should be serving?

First of all, thank you. It is awesome that you want to serve your church more, and better. This question is so encouraging to me!

I actually wouldn’t recommend taking a spiritual gifts survey. Taking one of these tests is kind of a backwards way of going about finding a place to serve. It puts you into the mindset of “OK, I’m going to figure out my gifts and then find a position of service in one of those areas”. (And to be honest, you can take five different assessments and get five different answers as to what your gifts are.)

But really, the best way to discover what you’re gifted at is to jump in and start serving. As you serve – and, of course, as you continue to study your Bible, pray, and sit under good teaching and preaching at church – you’ll start figuring out where you’re gifted and where you’re not. Others will also have the opportunity to observe you and give you godly counsel about your strengths and weaknesses. You might even find that you’re gifted at something that you never would have imagined! I sure did!

Instead of taking a spiritual gifts test, ask your pastor or elders about the areas your church needs someone to serve in, and prayerfully pick the task that seems to be the best fit for you. You’ll meet a need at your church, and the Holy Spirit will use that ministry experience to direct your steps toward future areas of service.

You might also like to try my resource The Servanthood Survey. It’s all about what the Bible says about servanthood and serving in the local church.

Is your study in 1 John available in workbook format? If so, I would love to buy a copy.

Is it OK if I print out one of your Bible studies to use in my Sunday School class or in my personal quiet time?

All of the Bible studies I’ve written are available for free under the “Bible Studies” tab at the top of this page. This is my gift to you and to any churches which would like to use them. My family lives very modestly on one income, so I know what it’s like not to be able to afford all the resources you’d like to splurge on. This is a way I can give back. (If the reason you’d like to purchase my materials is so you can support me financially, click here or here instead.)

Any reader is more than welcome to print out any Bible study or article you find here – no need to ask permission. There are two ways to print:

1. At the bottom of each article, beneath the words “share this” there’s a button that says “more.” Hover over or click that button, and a dropdown of several more buttons will appear, one of which is a “print” button.

2. You can copy and paste the article into your word processing program and print from there. (This will save you some ink because you can print the text only and leave out any images you don’t need.)

The only thing I ask is that when you print out one of my articles to distribute to others (not necessary if it’s just for personal use), please make sure my name (Michelle Lesley– “Lesley” is my last name, not my first, and it ends with an “ey,” not an “ie”) and/or web address (MichelleLesley.com) is on there somewhere.

I ask this for several reasons, adulation not being one of them. First, there have been a few plagiarism scandals in evangelicalism over the last several years. Best practice is just to avoid that potential problem altogether by slapping a quick credit on the page. Next, it’s to protect you. If I accidentally mishandle Scripture in a Bible study, if someone gets angry about an article I wrote, etc., I don’t want her blaming you because she thinks you wrote it. That’s my responsibility. Finally, if the person you gave the article to, or a third party, picks up the resource you’ve printed out and wants to know more about Christ, I want her to be able to come to my blog and get the biblical gospel and doctrinally sound teaching.

Print away!

A pastor printed out this article as a bulletin insert for his church.

I know you’ve written an article saying that _____ is a false teacher, but what about [this particular book she wrote]? Is it OK for me/our church to study?

The best way to answer this question is to have you ask it of Jesus, Paul, or any of the other New Testament writers.

Read Matthew 23 and ask Jesus if your pastor and elders should read Joe Pharisee’s book on pastoral leadership.

Read 1 Timothy 1:19-20 and ask Paul if he thinks Hymenaeus’ book on faith would be good for your discipleship class.

Read 2 Peter 2 and ask Peter if your women’s Bible study group should use the DVD series of anyone who fits that description.

When Scripture talks about avoiding false teachers, it always talks about avoiding the teacher himself, as a whole. That means all of his writings, materials, conferences, products, and merch. You won’t find a Scripture that tells you it’s OK to “eat the meat and spit out the bones” when it comes to false teachers, even if he says things or writes books from time to time that seem okay-ish. In fact, Scripture says we’re to expect false teachers to sound biblical at times, but never says it’s OK to (supportively or positively) use those biblical-sounding, tweets, articles, or books. We’re to stay away from the person.

And it’s not just to protect you or your church from false doctrine. It’s actually one of the ways we demonstrate Christ’s love to the false teacher. Go back to the 1 Timothy 1:19-20 link above. Why did Paul hand Alexander and Hymenaeus over to Satan? So they would “learn not to blaspheme”. Read 1 Corinthians 5 and Matthew 18:15-20. Why do we disfellowship unrepentant sinners from the church? To clearly send them the message that they are bearing the fruit of an unbeliever and that they need to repent and believe the gospel for the sake of their own souls.

When you continue to follow a false teacher, retweet her, share her posts, buy her books, and attend her conferences – even if you think you’re supporting only her “meat” and spitting out her “bones” – you are tacitly sending her the message that you approve of her and her ministry as a whole. That she is saved, biblical, right with God, and not in need of repentance. You are, in a way, lying to her, perhaps at the cost of her eternity. Is that really something you want on your conscience? Do you realize you’re disobeying Christ and His Word when you do these things?

Is it OK to use certain materials by a person who has demonstrated that she is a false teacher? My answer is the same as Scripture’s. No.

I was married before I became a believer. My cousin who is a “pastor” married us. My cousin is a woman. Am I married if a woman isn’t supposed to be a pastor?

I’m not sure if you mean legally or in the eyes of God, but the answer is “yes” on both counts. If she was licensed by the state to perform marriages and you filed a marriage license and went through whatever other legal procedures your state requires, you are legally married.

You are also married in the eyes of God regardless of who performs the ceremony. You could have gone down to the courthouse and had a judge who was a raging atheist marry you and you’d still be married in God’s eyes. What validates a marriage to God is not the person performing the ceremony, but your vow and commitment to, as Genesis 2:24 says of Adam: “leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Uncategorized

Testimony Tuesday: Libby’s Story

December 12, 2017August 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Libby’s Story

I want to thank you for so openly and honestly declaring Biblical truth. I have been on a quest for this truth for the past two years. I was on staff at a church from 2010-2015. My role as secretary rapidly grew into leading many areas of the church including the women’s ministry. During this time the church grew from 80 to more than 350 in attendance each Sunday. They are the megachurch in our small town and model everything after Andy Stanley’s church. The staff attends all of his conferences and reads all the leadership books. They have the cool worship band with lights and smoke and the hip preacher with tattoos…they are the cookie cutter seeker-friendly church.

Though I struggled with MANY things about the pastor, the leadership, and the felt-needs teaching, the church was growing so I thought God must be blessing our work and it must have been bringing glory to Him. The last two years I was there I tried to express my concerns many times to leadership but they were very quickly dismissed with an angry, defensive attitude. I became so tired of trying to sell the cool Jesus and not seeing any spiritual growth in the people attending that I finally stepped down from staff. I continued attending the church for six months so that it wouldn’t cast a dark shadow on the leadership or church and cause division. Then I slipped out quietly.

As I had more time to devote to reading Scripture and not working 80 hours a week at the church with all the busyness of ministry and people to please, I began my quest to discover TRUTH. Real truth. About a year ago friend told me about your website and though part of me was leaping for joy as I spent hours and hours reading and following links, I was not prepared for the horror that set in when I realized the lies I had been believing and even worse what I was part of leading.

I’ve worked through the anger toward my own foolish self and toward those who I allowed to spiritually lead me for so long and I have forgiven. Now I am trying to work through the guilt of what I was a part of building and who I influenced, what part I played in their eternity (though I know that is ultimately under God’s sovereignty). I only leave my home if absolutely necessary, usually 6 am on Monday mornings to grocery shop. If I see someone from my old church anxiety and guilt cripple me. Though I have been open with close friends about what I have learned, few have been receptive…after all Beth Moore, Lisa Bevere, and the IF Conference have much more influence. The people of the church think I have absolutely gone off the deep end as I have begun to share some posts of these controversial topics.

The friend who introduced me to your site has decided to attend [a doctrinally sound] seminary. She asked for a letter of recommendation from our executive pastor and his words were “Our pastor hated seminary. Andy Stanley doesn’t believe you need to go to seminary. He only hires doers and not thinkers. If Andy Stanley says that, you have to stop and think, this man is the pastor at the most successful church in America. He knows his stuff.”

I’ll just leave that right there.

In closing, I know God has a plan in all of this and I know He will reveal it in His time. I have been visiting your “Readers Seeking Churches” page for some time and through links on your page and the 9Marks church finder I was able to locate a doctrinally sound church about an hour from me. Honestly I am terrified to step into another church, but I know I must in obedience. I am thankful for his grace and mercy, for His Word, and for placing others like you in my path.

Note from Michelle- Libby says that she is trying to “work through the guilt” of helping to spread false doctrine. I shared this with her when she originally e-mailed me, and I wanted to share it with those of you who might be struggling in a similar way:

I encourage you to remember His kindness and mercy. You need not feel guilt and anxiety over your sin any more. That is all washed away by the blood of Christ, and you are free to live in peace and rest in His love. Look how Christ redeemed Paul! He certainly spread a lot of false doctrine and quashed sound doctrine before Christ got a hold of him.

First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Believe that, and be set free from your guilt today.