Your article The Mailbag: Regrets…I Still Have a Few is excellent! I have a related question…what if the thing you regret isn’t a sin? What if it is a decision you made that now you wish you hadn’t made? I don’t know how to deal with something like this.
Thank you!
It’s always good to try to think these things through biblically. I’m glad you’re doing that! It’s a little difficult to answer without knowing what the circumstances are, but sometimes that’s good because it allows me to take a more “general principles” approach that can help other readers out with their own situations. So here are some principles we can all consider in a situation like this:
⇒ Get out your Bible and make absolutely certain that whatever you’re regretting isn’t a sin, because we have to deal with sins one way and non-sins another way. When the reader mentions “something you regret that isn’t a sin,” I’m thinking of things like: “I wish I had taken job A instead of job B.” “I wish I hadn’t moved so far away from my extended family.” “I wish we had homeschooled our kids instead of putting them in public school.” Things like that are not sins. Things like, “I wish I hadn’t committed adultery and ruined my marriage,” are.
⇒ Spend some time in prayer and in Scripture examining your heart about why you regret the decision you made. Maybe the decision itself wasn’t sinful, but the regrets you’re having are? Do you wish you had taken that other job because you’re coveting the higher income it would have given you? Do you wish you had homeschooled so the other moms would look up to you and admire you?
Or maybe what’s motivating your regret isn’t sinful. Maybe you regret being so far from your extended family because you were the only gospel influence in their lives. Maybe you now see that taking the other job would have allowed you to spend more time with your kids. Only you and God can sort out the motives of your heart.
⇒ Is there a way to fix things in a biblical direction? If what’s motivating your regret is sinful (pride, coveting, etc.), job one is to repent and ask God to change your heart about the situation. If your regrets aren’t sinful, is there anything you can do to alleviate the situation in a godly way? Could you cut back on your hours to spend more time with your kids? Video chat with your extended family more often to continue being that gospel witness? Think about whether or not there’s anything you can do about the situation.
⇒ Be content:
…I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11b
…But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:8
…Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
…O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2
⇒ Trust God’s sovereignty- especially if, at the time, you were trying to make the most godly decision you could make and be as obedient to Him as you knew how to be. God has put you in the situation you’re in right now for His glory and your good. You didn’t end up where you are by accident. And the God who has brought you to where you are is capable of using the decision you made that you now regret to bring Himself glory, to do something for you, in you, through you, or with you, and maybe even to minister to someone else.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, Philippians 3:13b-15a
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:3-5
Dwelling on regrets isn’t spiritually healthy. We certainly never see God praising anyone for looking back on the past and fretting. (After all, look what happened when Lot’s wife looked back! :0) There’s nothing you can do to change the past. All we can do is press on and live today for the glory of God.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Help! I feel torn between two biblical commands, and I don’t know what to do. Our church has started meeting together in person again. The leadership has strongly requested that everyone wear masks. E-mails have been sent out about it, there are signs all over the church requesting that people wear masks, etc., and though it has been mentioned a few times that they will not ask anyone to leave if he/she isn’t wearing a mask, it’s pretty obvious the powers that be want everybody wearing masks.
My husband is very anti-mask. Although he is OK with wearing them where required by law, it’s not legally required in churches where we live, and he doesn’t want me to wear a mask in church. He has explained his reasons to me for his position. I think they are wise, valid reasons, and I actually agree with him. In addition to his reasons, I struggle against anxiety attacks and claustrophobia, which masks make worse, and mentally fending off these attacks makes it extremely difficult for me to focus on anything else, like worship or the sermon.
I believe the Bible is clear that I’m to submit to my husband. However, the Bible is also clear that we’re to submit to our pastors/leaders. And what about dying to self and putting the wants/needs of others (such as my fellow church members who are fearful of catching COVID) first? I’m so confused. What should I do?
This is a really great question. It’s so encouraging to me that you want to do the godly thing in this situation.
But before I begin answering your excellent question, unfortunately, in the zeitgeist we live in that’s even affecting Christians, I’ve got to fence this discussion for all of my readers with two parameters:
1. There will be no pro-/anti- mask arguing in the comments section of this article nor on any of my social media platforms, nor will I read or answer any e-mails/private messages arguing your position on masks. Any such e-mails, messages, or comments will be deleted. The way I’ve seen many professing Christians – on both sides of the issue, mind you – comporting themselves online about masks, is, frankly, appalling, and I refuse to lend my platforms to that kind of behavior.
2. This article will deal with the biblical topic of submission in marriage. Every time I address this issue somebody brings up the “But what about abuse?” argument as if the sin and exception of abuse negates the biblical rule of submission. (Very much like when the topic of abortion comes up and people automatically bring out the “But what about rape/incest?” argument.) It doesn’t. Abuse is a sin and a separate issue from submission that must be dealt with in a biblical way. Abuse has nothing to do with biblical submission even though some abusers evilly (and abusively) try to connect the two. At any rate, abuse is not today’s topic. Today’s topic is about a woman in a healthy Christian marriage who wants to obey our Lord’s command to all Christian wives in non-abusive marriages that we are to submit to our husbands. If you’d like me to address the topic of abuse in a future edition of The Mailbag, please send in your question. And if you’re being abused, get somewhere safe immediately, and reach out to your pastor, church, or a good Christian friend for help.
Well, the first thing we have to recognize is that there’s a hierarchy of authority in our lives. The authorities in our lives are not all on an equal plane. Some of them outrank others.
God outranks everybody. We obey Him regardless of what any mere human might say about it, and regardless of what it might cost us. Peter may have stuck his foot in his mouth a lot, but he hit it right on the nose when he told his “pastor” (the high priest), who was ordering the apostles to disobey God’s command: “We must obey God rather than men.”
But what about your dilemma? You want to obey God by obeying both His command to submit to your husband and His command to submit to your pastoral leadership. Neither your husband nor your pastor is asking you to disobey God. But submitting to one would mean not submitting to the other. It’s a Catch-22, right?
Not really, because for a married woman, her husband outranks her pastor in the chain of command of authority in her life. I think we probably all get this, intuitively, but, if it helps, consider the following:
• God established the family long before He established the church. It was the very first structure of authority He set up as a unit, and is the foundation of human society and relationships.
• The assemblage of God’s people – both Old Testament (Israel) and New (the church) – is contingent upon the family in several regards: God is our Father – we are His children, Christ is the bridegroom – the church is the bride, the twelve tribes of Israel were literal family lines and their elders were heads of clans and families, only men from certain family lines could serve as priests and Levites, a pastor must be the husband of one wife and rule his home and children well or he is disqualified from the pastorate, wives are to consult their husbands at home rather than disrupt a worship service with questions, and so on. The family isn’t contingent on the church the way the church is contingent on the family.
• The bond and vow of marriage outranks your less binding relationship to your pastor and church. When you married your husband, you made a vow before God and man to be loyally and faithfully bound to him for the rest of your (or his) natural life. When you consummated your marriage, you entered into a one flesh union with your husband. That’s a much more profound commitment to your husband than the commitment you have to your pastor and church.This is why the act of pursuing a divorce is nearly always a sin, while, comparatively, the act of leaving a particular local church (though you might have sinful reasons for doing so) is not.
• And as far as loving your neighbor or putting others’ wants and needs ahead of your own – your husband is your nearest neighbor. What about loving him? What about dying to self for him? It is far more important, both because of the depth of your commitment to him, and for practical reasons of familial peace under your own roof, that his wants and needs outweigh the wants and needs of Miss Tilly in the third pew.
So, what does this mean for your mask situation? It means you need to submit to your husband. Certainly, a godly husband would be willing to talk with you about his reasons for his decision and discuss your convictions about submitting to your church’s leadership. Perhaps your husband would think it’s a good idea for him (or both of you) to discuss the matter with your pastor. One godly husband might then decide to let you decide for yourself what to do regarding masking at church. Another godly husband might, after prayerfully receiving your input, still decide it is wisest for his family not to wear masks. You respectfully give your input and then back off, praying for him as he makes the decision he believes will most honor God and for which he will have to answer to God. And when he makes that decision, you graciously abide by it.
And my guess would be that if you have a godly, doctrinally sound pastor, he would tell you basically the same thing. I can’t imagine a good pastor telling a wife who’s seeking to obey Scripture that she needs to submit to him over submitting to her husband.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!
In these potpourri editions of The Mailbag, I’d also like to address the three questions I’m most commonly asked:
“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”
Just a brief note to all of my readers to kick off this edition of The Mailbag. I really love and appreciate y’all. I don’t say that enough but I do – deeply. One of the things (among many) I appreciate is that upwards of 99.99999999% of you have read my e-mail/messages policy (linked in the first paragraph above) and the information at theContact & Social Media tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page), and you have been extremely understanding and gracious when it comes to my limitations regarding answering individual e-mails/messages. Thank you!
But for the handful of folks out there who haven’t read and followed the directions at those links, may I just gently and lovingly say this: demanding that I answer your e-mail/message immediately, or sending me multiple copies of the same e-mail/message over the course of a few days isn’t going to work for me, or for you. If you have an emergency situation or one that needs an immediate answer, you need to contact your pastor or a mature brother or sister at your church for help. That’s one of the functions of the local church.
I wish I could answer everyone’s questions right away, but as I’ve explained at the aforementioned links (which everyone seeking my e-mail address is asked to read before they e-mail me), I can’t. I get too much mail to be able to do that and have time to properly care for my family, home, and other responsibilities.
Thanks again for your understanding and grace, and keep sending me those e-mails/messages! I love hearing from y’all even if I’m not able to answer you personally.
I have some concerns about Doreen Virtue and the “vision” of Jesus she had that supposedly led her to Christ. I came out of the New Age movement and something just doesn’t “sit right” with me as a discerning Christian about that. And now, you and other Christians have endorsed her book? I’m just seeking the truth as I do with every other subject I research.
Seeking the truth and doing your research is awesome! That’s just the kind of thing I love to hear from my readers!
The thing about doing research is that you have to consider the source and make sure the sources you go to are reliable, trustworthy, and handle Scripture correctly. I’m sorry to say that many of the online “discernment” resources out there (including the ones you mentioned in your e-mail, but others as well) are not. Many of them exhibit zeal without knowledge, and some exhibit knowledge without love. (I know I have crossed these lines at times, myself, which I am sorry for. God is still working on me and growing me in that area.)
You and other discerning readers have surely noted the signs of these types of “ministries”: attacking doctrinally sound pastors and teachers, speaking/writing in a vicious, enraged, or biting tone, failing to provide in context and rightly handled evidence to support their assertions, reporting their opinions as fact, exaggerating or extrapolating from something a teacher said or did in order to make their case, and so on. It is just as much a part of discernment to examine “discernment” ministries as it is to examine the teachers they are critiquing.
Having never heard of her before, I first “met” Doreen Virtue when she and her co-host Melissa asked me to appear on their YouTube podcast to discuss the role of women in the church. Doreen and I kept in touch afterwards and have become good friends.
Doreen has thoroughly explained the issue you mentioned in her videos, her book, and to me and many others personally. As Doreen was coming out of the New Age movement and turning toward Christ, she had some sort of experience which she believed at the time was a vision of Jesus. She said at the time that this vision turned her further toward Christ.
As Doreen has continued to grow she has progressively come to a biblical understanding of her experience, and now believes the vision was demonic activity that happened before she actually got saved. She does not believe she was saved by this vision, but by the preaching, teaching, and reading of the Word. Doreen hasn’t had any more experiences like this since she’s been saved, and she certainly doesn’t encourage this type of experience – quite the opposite, in fact. She speaks against it. As I’ve listened to Doreen’s videos, read her personal testimony in her book, and chatted with her privately, I can see how God has grown her in holiness and sound doctrine in the short time she’s been saved, as evidenced by the fruit she displays.
Have we forgotten how far God has brought us in holiness and the knowledge of the Word since we have been saved? Haven’t we all repented over dumb or unbiblical things we used to believe when we were unsaved or new Christians that we now look back on in shame? Why wouldn’t God do the same thing for Doreen? I mean, let’s remember that she was totally immersed in a demonic system her entire life until Christ saved her in her 50’s, and she has only been saved less than three years now. It’s completely understandable that God would have to undo all of that as He grows her. Where is our mercy, grace, and patience for babes in Christ?
If you feel confused regarding conflicting information about Doreen, I would encourage you not to listen to what others are saying about her (even me) and go straight to the horse’s mouth: watchDoreen’s videos – including her most recent concerning the “vision”: Unpacking Doreen’s vision with Pastor Chris Rosebrough of Fighting for the Faith – read her wonderful book, Deceived No More (which I was honored to write an endorsement for and highly recommend, and which she has alreadyedited to clarify the part about the vision), follow her onInstagram orFacebook, and let her speak for herself. And if you make a good faith effort to do all of that and you still have a question, message her and ask.
If you’re honest, objective, and compare what Doreen says and does with rightly handled Scripture, I think you’ll find your answers.
I am a new Christian and am wondering if you know of a good Bible app? I have been using YouVersion, but today’s video featured Joyce Meyer, and I am unsure how I feel about it.
Great question – and welcome to the family!
Readers, this is one of the reasons I recommend against YouVersion. You may recall from a previous Mailbag article that I explained that YouVersion was developed, and is maintained, by Craig Groeschel’s Life.Church. He has preached at Joyce Meyer’s women’s conference and is immersed in relationships and ministry partnerships with numerous other false teachers.
Would you recommend theESV Women’s Study Bible? Some of the contributors are Jen Wilkin, Lauren Chandler, Ann Voskamp, Trillia Newbell, and Kristyn Getty.
I’m so glad you asked and brought this to my attention. I have been seeing the ads for that Bible, but I didn’t realize all of those people were contributors. I attempted to find a list of all of the contributors, but was unable to do so. So just going on these, I would say, no, I can’t recommend the ESV Women’s Study Bible.
I haven’t thoroughly researched Trillia Newbell, but just from seeing a few of her tweets from time to time on Twitter, I’m concerned that she might be leaning toward the woke/social justice movement. She’s also friendly with and supportive of Beth Moore (once tweeting “I thank God for you, too!” to Beth),Priscilla Shirer(here,here), and possibly other biblically problematic teachers, so, at the very least, there are a few red flags.
I’d recommend you invest in a much better study Bible, like theMacArthur Study Bible. You can also get the Faithlife Study Bible app for free. I use both of those regularly and they’re both very good.
Love the clarity of your writing! I am curious how you apply commands against women holding authority and teaching to online situations. Is it also sinful for a woman to teach Scripture over YouTube or Zoom? This seems to be a huge issue right now. Thanks!
Super question, and thanks!
The reason this is a huge issue right now is that many churches have temporarily begun moving many of their regular “in person” activities to livestream, YouTube, Zoom, Skype, etc., due to COVID restrictions that prevent members from gathering together easily. Likewise, many Christian conferences have had to move to video because of gathering restrictions and difficulties.
All of that being the case, we need to follow the biblical principles we would be following if we were meeting face to face. A woman should not be preaching the Sunday sermon for your church just because it’s going to be on Facebook Live instead of people gathering face to face in the sanctuary. I’m not going to teach my co-ed Sunday School class just because we’re “meeting” together on Zoom instead of in our Sunday School room. A Christian conference should not have women preaching the main sessions if those sessions would be co-ed if the attendees were all in the room together.
If it is not something that would normally be a violation of Scripture, in the face to face gathering of the church – for example: a woman speaking at a women’s conference that had to be moved online, or a woman teaching a children’s Bible class on Zoom – then it’s perfectly fine to do it online.
Readers, in case we’re tempted, let’s be sure we all keep in mind here that the goal in Christianity is not to see how close to the line of sin we can get without accidentally putting a toe over, or to find some loophole in God’s Word that lets us do what we want. The goal is to get as far away from the line of sin as possible, and to look – not for loopholes – but for ways we can better obey Christ.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
I desire to return to church and miss fellowshipping with other believers in person, but with the recent increase of virus cases in my area, I’m anxious about assembling even when wearing a mask and social distancing. The church I attend is currently offering services online and recently reopened. While they highly recommend wearing a mask during service, they will not force attendees to wear one. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
This is a great question as churches begin re-opening for on campus worship again. But, unfortunately, it’s not a question I can give a simplistic “go” or “don’t go” answer to. Everybody’s situation is different, everybody’s church is different, everybody’s health risks are different. This is a decision you will need to make prayerfully with your family, using biblical wisdom. If you’re not quite sure how to get started on that, I would suggest kicking things off by reading my article on making godly decisions: Basic Training: 8 Steps to Finding God’s Will for Your Life.
Here are some things to take into consideration as you make your decision:
What’s your potential risk? Contact your doctor to find out his opinion on whether or not attending church under these circumstances would genuinely put your health at risk. If you have a husband, children, or others who live in your home, find out from their doctors whether or not they are at risk either by attending themselves or by being around you if you attend without them. I want to stress contacting your doctor. Don’t try to figure it out yourself by reading things on the internet or chatting with friends. There is so much conflicting information, rumors, and unwise conventional wisdom running rampant out there that it’s impossible to sort it all out. Your doctor knows your body and your health history. Ask him.
What does your husband say? If you’re married, you and your husband should talk through and pray through this issue. Remember, you have a biblical obligation to submit to your husband’s final decision.
The fear factor: You’ll need to biblically evaluate the fearfulness of your heart about contracting the disease. Is it a mild, sensible concern that you harness for the glory of God to help you act wisely, or is it an all-consuming panic that prevents you from trusting God in order to do the things He has commanded you to do? If you lean toward the latter, you may have crossed the line into sinful fear, worry, and refusing to trust God. Understand that here we are setting aside for a moment the action of going/not going to church, and instead focusing on examining the motivation of your heart. Here are some passages of Scripture to meditate on and apply:
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:6-7
You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:9b-10
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7
Think back over the entirety of the Bible. Can you think of any instance in which God commends someone for being fearful instead of trusting Him?
Slouching toward laziness: I bring up laziness because this is a pull of the flesh that I’ve been feeling lately, so I figure at least a few others might be feeling it too. I am not a morning person. I am about as far from a morning person as you can get. And every Sunday of my life for the past 51 years, I’ve been dragging myself out of bed early on Sunday mornings to get ready for church, get the kids ready for church, get to the church, and behave in a godly manner once I get there. Of course, once I get there, I’m always glad to be in the Lord’s house worshiping with my brothers and sisters, but the part between waking up and being there? Not fun. So I’ll be honest, for the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed getting to sleep late on Sundays and ease into the day instead of being slammed with all of the getting ready to go hassle at the crack of dawn every Lord’s Day. And even though my family will be going back to church soon, I still feel that “I don’t wanna” pull of my flesh.
Is it possible there’s a little dash of laziness in the mix (for you or maybe another reader) when it comes to going back to church? I know that’s an issue for me, but I can’t answer that for you. You will need to prayerfully evaluate your heart against Scripture as you think all of this through. Here are a few verses to consider:
A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24:33-34 (This verse is talking about the literal poverty that comes from being lazy instead of working, but, in principle, it can also apply to the spiritual poverty and want that will result from sleeping in and skipping church.)
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. Proverbs 13:4
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17
Are you forsaking the assembly? Throughout the entirety of the Bible, God’s people are a people who assemble together. It’s assumed. A given. There’s no such animal as Christians who don’t physically assemble, face to face, real time, together. But just in case we miss that assumption, God graciously tells us flat out:
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25
Now, as I’ve mentioned before, that verse doesn’t mean we have to be at the church every time the doors are open for every meeting, class, fellowship, or activity in order to be obedient to God’s command to be faithful to the church. Nor does it mean we can treat church attendance as optional, going only when we feel like it, or when there’s nothing “more important” scheduled in that time slot. Nor does it mean that watching an online service equals physically showing up and participating in worship, teaching, service, prayer, the ordinances, etc. (That’s not going to church. That’s watching other people go to church.) It means we’re to be faithful to our church attendance unless Providentially hindered.
Are you truly Providentially hindered from attending church? I don’t know. That’s something you’re going to have to get into your prayer closet and be brutally honest with yourself and with God about. Are you wisely staying home from church temporarily because your doctor says you’re at high risk for contracting the virus under your church’s protocols, or are you actually forsaking the assembly and making excuses because you’re unbiblically fearful or lazy or disobedient? That is something each of us will have to discern in our own hearts and give an account to God for.
Follow the leader: Our culture indoctrinates us into rugged individualism and independence so much that we often don’t even realize it when we make decisions and adopt stances without even taking our pastors’ and elders’ leadership into consideration. I know I’ve been guilty of that many times. But here’s what the Bible says:
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things. I urge you the more earnestly to do this in order that I may be restored to you the sooner. Hebrews 13:17-19
Unless our pastors/elders are leading us contrary to Scripture, or we are somehow Providentially hindered from following their guidance, Scripture says we’re to graciously follow their leadership. If your pastor/elders have determined, after weighing spiritual and health concerns, that it’s most in line with Scripture to start meeting again with the protocols you’ve described, at least let their shepherding play a significant role in your decision-making process. That’s not nothing. It’s part of the way the Holy Spirit leads us. Let’s not call out to Him for wisdom and guidance and then ignore or oppose one of His methods for doing just that.
If you need some help understanding or accepting the decisions your pastor has made, call him, set up an appointment with him, or video chat with him, and listen to what he has to say – not with the goal of arguing your position against his, but with the goal of understanding and doing whatever you can to follow his leadership.
And just as the author of Hebrews urged the church – pray for your pastor and elders. They’re doing their best, in good conscience, to lead you in a godly, biblical, honorable way, and we all want to be restored to meeting together again as soon as that becomes possible.
Trust God’s sovereignty and care. Is God powerful enough to keep you from getting the virus? Might He allow you to contract the virus in order to glorify Himself and grow you spiritually in the process? If so, does He have the power to heal you? If you contract the virus and die from it, is that because God couldn’t stop you from dying?
We desperately need to remember that God is in complete control of every atom of this universe. If it is not within His will for you to contract the virus, you won’t. If it is within His will for you to contract the virus, all the masks, social distancing, handwashing, and quarantines in the world won’t prevent you from catching it. Does that mean we throw caution to the wind, asking infected people to sneeze on us, or jumping off buildings, or walking in front of speeding trains, or handling snakes? Of course not, because acting like an idiot doesn’t glorify God, and putting Him to the test is a sin.
What it means is that we strive to walk wisely and obediently to Him, trusting Him all along the way with the outcome. Getting the Coronavirus, even dying from the Coronavirus isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a Christian. The worst thing that can transpire in the life of a Christian is sin. Failure to trust God. Giving something lesser than God the authority and control over your life.
Do we really trust that God is in control? And if we don’t, why would we trouble ourselves about going to church and worshiping a god so impotent that he can’t protect us from getting the virus, or heal us from the virus, or take us home to Heaven if we die of the virus?
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
Is my hand shortened, that it cannot redeem? Or have I no power to deliver? Isaiah 50:2b
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!
In these potpourri editions of The Mailbag, I’d also like to address the three questions I’m most commonly asked:
“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”
My daughter who is not yet saved wants to do a Christian book study with a friend. I am just thrilled that she even has that desire. She is thinking about doing one of Lysa TerKeurst’s books who I know not to have solid theology (among other problems with her). Could you suggest someone who would be a good option?
I’m so glad your daughter seems to be gravitating toward wanting to read something biblical. If it were one of my children, I would be excited too. Thank you for protecting her from false doctrine.
But to answer your question, no. I’m afraid I can’t. I don’t recommend what I call “canned” Bible study books, DVDs, etc., on principle, even (maybe especially) for unsaved people. You can read more at the articles linked under “Can you recommend a good women’s Bible study?” above, but here’s the gist of my reasoning:
• Modern evangelicalism and Christian retailing has conditioned most Christians to believe that if they’re going to study the Bible, they have to use a pre-fab, packaged study instead of simply studying straight from the text of Scripture. There are a lot of super, doctrinally sound Christians who have no problem recommending these kinds of (solid) studies, and that’s great, but if I have to be the lone voice crying in the wilderness that we need to stop being dependent on Bible study books, I’m going to be that gal. And if I’m going to put my money where my mouth is, I can’t, in good conscience, recommend study books.
• The overwhelming majority of “canned” Bible studies, especially the ones written for women, contain false doctrine. Trying to find a “good” one is like trying to find three grains of salt in a bowl full of sugar. It’s much more efficient to recommend something we all know is completely trustworthy and inerrant – the Bible itself.
• God’s Word is sufficient for our every need. For thousands of years, people have gotten saved and sanctified simply by reading Scripture, and we need to get back to that.
• Most Christians (including me) who have done both book studies and studying straight from Scripture will tell you that studying straight from Scripture is far more rewarding. It creates a greater intimacy with God, the Holy Spirit illumines and applies Scripture to your life in the way you need it, and you learn so much more. It’s like the difference between watching someone else search for buried treasure, and searching for it, and finding it, yourself.
So here are a few options I’d recommend for your daughter instead of someone else’s book:
Look through some of the studies I’ve written at the Bible Studiestab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page to see if any of them would be of interest to her. My studies are designed to teach women how to study the Bible for themselves, so that once they get the hang of it, they won’t have to depend on anyone else’s materials any more, even mine.
At that same tab is a list of Bible reading plans. Your daughter probably isn’t ready for a “read through the Bible in a year” plan, but there are several links to much shorter plans – some as short as 1-3 weeks – that will take her through a topic or a book of the Bible.
Order her a gospel of John from Pocket Testament League, and encourage her to read about a chapter a day (or whatever she’s comfortable with). PTL actually uses the book of John as an evangelism tool. They have all sorts of unique designs and translations (I would recommend ESV), and a small, groovy looking little “booklet” might be less intimidating to her than the whole Bible. You can read more here.
Love your blog! I have read your list on ministries or preachers you write on and don’t recommend. I highly admire this. I would like to find ones that I could watch that you do recommend. Do you have a list of men preachers that would fall under this category with a thumbs up? Also any women’s Bible studies I could follow online as well.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad you’re finding the blog helpful.
If you’ve read the Popular False Teachers and Unbiblical Trends tab, you were soooooo close to finding what you were looking for! :0) Right next to that tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) is a tab entitled Recommended Bible Teachers. You’ll find lots of great pastors and teachers there.
As I mentioned above, I highly recommend you study straight from the Bible itself. If you need a little help getting started, the (online) studies I’ve written will teach you how to do that. You can find them at the Bible Studiestab (also in the blue menu bar at the top of this page). Our current study is Ezekiel.
I’m recently saved, and I feel compelled to share the Gospel with a co-worker but I hesitate because of my past reputation at work. I worry that I will have no credibility. Yes, they’ve all seen the change in me but they’re waiting for it to ‘wear off’. Should I wait until I’m farther removed from my sin to share the gospel with him? Wait until they’re all satisfied that I’ve changed and am not going back to my old ways? Wait for someone else to step up and share with him? He has weighed heavily on my mind as of late and I want him to have the same living hope that I have experienced and to understand the importance of forgiveness.
Great question! I’m so thrilled you want to share the gospel with someone!
You’ve explained in your e-mail to me that the nature of your relationship to this co-worker isn’t going to be problematic, but for any readers wondering about sharing the gospel with men, please see #11 here and always exercise wisdom and caution.
Take a moment to read the story of the woman at the well. She was zero minutes removed from her sin – in fact she may not have truly been a Believer yet – when she ran back to town urging her friends and neighbors, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”.
Or the blind man Jesus healed: “The man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed and received my sight…One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.”
Honey, that’s you. You’re just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to have all the answers, because you’re not the one who’s going to save this guy. Jesus is. He is perfect. He has all the answers. It’s OK to tell your co-worker that you’re new at all this and still learning…but tell Him about Jesus.
Tell him how Jesus washed all your sins away. Tell him how Jesus set you free and gave you peace. Tell him you want him to have the same living hope that you have experienced and to understand the importance of forgiveness. Tell him.
I just read your article about Nativity scenes, and I agree with you. This article makes me wonder, however: I’m curious about your take on the statues and various sacraments that are typical in a Catholic church. Do you think there is a line that has been crossed with such things, or do you think it depends on how an individual approaches and uses these items?
This is a super question – I really like the way you’re thinking this through!
Yes, a line has been crossed in Catholicism, but it’s much more foundational than most Christians realize. There’s no way to gently and, at the same time, clearly say this for those who may not be aware, so I’ll just say it: Catholicism is not Christianity. Even though it utilizes the Bible and Christian terminology, much like Mormonism, It is a different religion at its very core.
There are many reasons for this, and idol (statues) worship, as you’ve touched on, is only one of them. Positioning Mary as co-redemptrix with Christ is blasphemy. Purgatory blatantly contradicts both Christ’s sufficient atonement for sin and outright rejects Scripture’s teaching on God’s judgment after death. Re-crucifying Christ in the Mass along with transubstatiation is an abomination. Praying to (or in or through or with or whatever conjunction they want to use) dead people (the “saints” and Mary) is patently unbiblical. Infused righteousness rejects the biblical teaching of imputed righteousness. The teaching that one must be baptized into the Catholic “church” in order to be saved is anti-gospel.The Pope is not infallible as proved by all of the above and more. And don’t get me started on the Catholic “church’s” scores of brutal murders and imprisonments of Bible believing, Bible preaching, Bible translating, and Bible owning Christians during the Protestant Reformation. I could go on and on.*
But possibly the most egregious heresy Catholicism teaches is that anyone who believes this…
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
…is anathema – excommunicated from Catholicism and therefore damned to an eternity in Hell. This is just one of the many anathemas from the Council of Trent, which convened in 1545 to codify Catholic doctrine and repudiate Protestantism:
If any one saith, that by faith alone the impious is justified; in such wise as to mean, that nothing else is required to co-operate in order to the obtaining the grace of Justification, and that it is not in any way necessary, that he be prepared and disposed by the movement of his own will; let him be anathema.
According to Catholicism’s own doctrines, anyone who believes what the Bible says about being saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, and not by these plus accompanying works, is damned. If that’s not “another gospel,” I don’t know what is.
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed. Galatians 1:6-9
So, to answer your question a little more directly, there is no right or “biblical” way for a Catholic to use statues, relics, sacraments, or any other accoutrements of Catholicism because the entire system is corrupt, anti-biblical, and is not Christianity.
Here are a few more resources that may be helpful if you’d like to read more:
*Invariably, when I (or any other Protestant for that matter) address a well established doctrine or practice of Catholicism and how/why it isn’t biblical, a Catholic will argue: “That’s not what we really believe!”. If you’re a Catholic and you’re about to make a comment along those lines, here’s my response: That’s what your own “church” teaches, so it IS what Catholics are supposed to believe. If you don’t believe your own “church’s” doctrine, why are you still a Catholic?
Thank you so much for your ministry. I am truly blessed by it. In regards to The Chosen, I was listening to Todd Friel on Wretched and he said something very interesting about the producer. I have attached the link.
Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. For those who might be unfamiliar, The Chosen is a made for streaming “TV show” drama on the life and ministry of Jesus, produced by Dallas Jenkins. It premiered earlier this year, the week before Easter. At that time, I wrote a review of the series, which you can read here if you like. I have added the following update to that article:
Update (7/12/20):Thank you to a kind reader who brought to my attention a recent interview of Dallas on a Mormon YouTube channel. Dallas seems to believe that Mormonism and Catholicism are both Christianity. You can listen to the short version (with Todd Friel’s commentary) here (starting at 45:00) or the entire interview here. You may also wish to compare (fairly, objectively, and discerningly) Dallas’ comments in the interview with his comments (below) at the end of this article. It is one thing to use the products and services of a non-Christian company. It is another matter to personally believe, as a Christian, that false religions are Christianity and that adherents of those religions are brothers and sisters in Christ. If these revelations of Dallas’ beliefs prevent you from watching The Chosen, that is certainly understandable, and I would encourage you not to sin against your conscience by watching it. However, these revelations do not somehow magically change the actual content of the episodes, nor my evaluation of said content. In other words, I biblically evaluated what I saw in the episodes, so the remainder of this review stands.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
