In case you’ve missed them, here are my latest vlogs.
If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you might have already caught all but the first one, which is new. It’s to let you know what’s happening on the blog this week since I’m taking a few days off and the blog schedule will be slightly different. If you’d like to subscribe to my YouTube channel, you’ll find it here. Or click here to view vlogs I’ve previously posted on the blog. Enjoy!
Every year on the Sunday closest to the 4th of July, our worship service turns very patriotic. All of the hymns and worship songs are replaced with patriotic songs like God Bless America, America the Beautiful, and the National Anthem. The choir and whoever is singing a solo that day sings a patriotic song. A color guard marches in with the American flag and we say the Pledge of Allegiance. Sometimes the sermon is even on a patriotic topic. It makes me uncomfortable because I think the worship service should focus on God, not America. What do you think?
Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. I love the fireworks and picnics, the bands, and watching my favorite musical, Yankee Doodle Dandy.
I’m as red, white, and blue, rah rah America as the next guy, but there’s a time and a place for all that, and the Sunday morning worship hour isn’t it. You’re correct. The worship service is exactly that: worship and service. And who are Christians supposed to worship and serve when we go to church? God.
We are to sing to, and about, God. The pastor is to preach the Word of God. We pledge our allegiance in prayer, worship, and confession to God. Our thoughts are to be focused on God. Every element of the worship service – songs, symbols, readings, offerings, prayer, praise, everything – is to draw our attention to God. He is the only One worthy of our worship.
Patriotic songs, the Pledge, and all of those other things can take the focus off God and put it on something lesser. Sometimes God gets pushed aside in favor of what we want to focus on. That’s a very man-centered attitude in the very place and time when everything is supposed to be centered on God.
And really, if you think about the main reason America was founded – freedom of worship – what better way is there to honor our forefathers and celebrate the gift of freedom God has given us than to exercise our First Amendment right to worship God? Certainly, we could use the 4th of July as a reminder to take some time in corporate prayer to express gratitude to God for our country and our liberties and to pray for our country. Scripture tells us to present our requests to God with thanksgiving. We could also dedicate some time to praying for our governmental officials as 1 Timothy 2:1-4 instructs us to do. There’s a biblical, worshipful way to be thankful for the freedoms God has blessed us with and intercede for our country and our governing authorities. And it shouldn’t be limited to one Sunday a year.
But when it comes to patriotic hoopla, we can set aside another time for that and still celebrate with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If your church family wants to celebrate America’s birthday together, that’s great! Have a church-wide cookout on the 4th. Schedule an Independence Day patriotic sing-along or choir pageant. Meet up and head out to the county fireworks show together. Fellowship! Have fun!
But when it’s time to worship, let’s make sure we’re reserving that time for worship of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. It’s fine to love America, but let’s demonstrate that we love Christ more by not letting anything take His place in His church.
It’s fine to love America, but let’s demonstrate that we love Christ more by not letting anything take His place in His church.
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If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
The world can be a scary place if you have kids. There’s the danger of online predators luring kids into meeting them in person. Kids can take inappropriate pictures of themselves or their peers only to have those pictures spread around on the web. Porn sites abound. Drugs and alcohol seem to be easy for kids to come by. There are kidnappers and sex traffickers and child molesters lurking where you least expect them, even in the church. And, society would have us believe, every teenager is having sex.
It’s a blessing from God that there are so many ways to protect our kids. There are all kinds of software locks and blocks and filters you can put on your electronics in order to keep your kids safer when it comes to technology. There are phone apps that allow you to track your child’s location, and do it yourself drug testing kits, and breathalyzer attachments you can put on your car to keep your child from driving drunk. And then there are the more “analog” precautions of keeping the family computer in a common room, scrolling through your child’s phone log every day and asking about each call or text, banning sleepovers, and never letting her spend time alone with friends.
Certainly, we should use wisdom about the activities we let our kids take part in. Maybe some of those locks, blocks, and filters, or restrictions on places she can go and people she can see would be a wise idea for your family, especially if your child has proved herself untrustworthy with the freedom you’ve already given her.
But, increasingly, as I hear Christian parents in a near frenzy about installing multiple security measures on their electronics or the car and making all kinds of restrictions on activities with friends – not to clamp down on a rebellious child, but to prevent children from getting into trouble who have never showed any signs of rebellion – I have to wonder, what’s the foundational mindset here?
Increasingly, as I hear Christian parents in a near frenzy about preventing their children from getting into trouble, I have to wonder – what’s the foundational mindset here?
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Are we putting these safety measures in place because we’ve prayed about it and believe it’s reasonable, godly wisdom, or are we putting these safety measures in place because we’re fearful of evil and trust devices and restrictions more than we trust God and our kids? For the Christian, it’s not that it’s wrong or bad to take precautions – indeed, God doesn’t want us to be careless or foolish – it’s the motivation for the precautions we take that we need to examine.
It’s not wrong to take reasonable precautions, but are we putting these safety measures in place because we’re fearful of evil and trust devices and restrictions more than we trust God and our kids?
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Do we really trust God with our kids, or are we taking matters into our own hands out of fear?
Trusting God can be scary. We can’t see Him, hear Him, or touch Him, and He never promised us a life free from difficult or painful circumstances. It’s much easier and more comforting to our flesh to trust something tangible. Something that guarantees us it’ll do what we want it to do. It reminds me of an event that took place toward the end of King Asa’s life in 2 Chronicles 16.
Asa was one of the good kings of Judah. He “did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God. He took away the foreign altars and the high places and broke down the pillars and cut down the Asherim and commanded Judah to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, and to keep the law and the commandment.” (2 Chronicles 14:2-4) But one day, Baasha, king of Israel, came up against Judah. Did Asa cry out to the Lord, trusting Him to help, as he had years before when the Ethiopian army came out against him? No. Asa’s response was to gather up a truckload of silver and gold from the palace and the temple and bribe the king of Syria to break his covenant with Israel and attack them. Instead of fully trusting in the Lord and seeking His help and guidance, Asa took matters into his own hands and attempted to protect Judah with his own strength.
We love our children. We don’t want to see them hurt or fall into sin. We want to do whatever we can to protect them. Those are all good and godly desires of the heart. But we must make sure we are seeking and trusting God and His ways first instead of acting upon our fears and relying on our own strength.
We must make sure we are seeking and trusting God and His ways first instead of acting upon our fears and relying on our own strength.
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What are God’s ways? How does He “Father” us? How can we imitate our Heavenly Father as we parent?
1. God makes clear that He is the Father and we are the children.
Throughout Scripture, God is crystal clear that He is the one in charge. He made us, He sets the rules, He provides for us, He protects and cares for us, He knows what’s best for us. Because of all this, He instructs us, our responsibility is to be obedient children.
Do you and your children understand that you are the parent? That you are in charge and that they are to obey? That you make the rules and they are to follow them? Are the roles of parent and child clearly defined in your home with a godly authority structure in place?
2. God spells out what He expects from us.
The Bible is chock full of explicit commands. Sometimes God tells us what to do. Sometimes He tells us what not to do. Often, He explains why He is telling us to do or not do a certain thing. We can always rest assured that all of His commands are for our own good, the good of others, and the glory of God, and that they flow out of His great love for us. But God never accepts excuses for disobedience. He expects us to obey.
God never accepts excuses for disobedience. He expects us to obey.
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Have you thoughtfully and prayerfully developed rules for the online and offline activities your child participates in? Have you sat her down and lovingly explained the rules to her, answering any questions she might have? Does she have a clear understanding of what the rules are and how to obey them? Does she grasp your expectation that she will obey the rules without excuses?
3. God warns us of the consequences and dangers of disobedience and the blessings of obedience.
God doesn’t hide the unpleasant truth from us that the wages of sin is death. In fact, He gives us enough of a description of that eternal death to help us understand that we don’t want to go there. He explains that He disciplines those He loves in order to keep them away from sin and harm. But God also reminds us of the blessings of obedience – that it will help us flourish, grow in joy, and bring glory to God.
God explains that He disciplines those He loves in order to keep them away from sin and harm. But God also reminds us of the blessings of obedience.
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Have you warned your child of the consequences for disobeying your rules about her activities? Do you carefully and consistently enforce those consequences? Have you explained to her that the reason there are disciplinary consequences for her disobedience is to protect her from danger and sin? It’s neither necessary nor appropriate to go into all of the specific, terrifying details of child trafficking or the disgusting elements of pornography, but our children must have an age-appropriate understanding of the very real dangers that are out there.
And it’s just as important to explain the blessings of obedience to your child: she won’t have to live in fear or in shame, she’ll be protecting her purity for marriage, her health, or her life, her parents will trust her, and she’ll be acting in a way that’s pleasing to God. Maybe you’ll even be more inclined to give her extra privileges.
4. God doesn’t give the consequences before the sin.
Look at what Jesus said in Matthew 5:29-30 with regard to lust:
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Jesus doesn’t tell us to gouge out an eye or cut off a hand as a precaution to prevent lust that has not taken place. He tells us to respond to sin with an appropriate consequence.
God doesn’t give the consequences before the sin. Jesus doesn’t tell us to gouge out an eye or cut off a hand as a precaution to prevent lust that has not taken place. He tells us to respond to sin with an appropriate consequence.
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Is there any way you might be “maiming” your child to prevent her from committing sin – especially sin she’s never shown an interest in or temptation to? Maybe it’s time to reconsider that rule or restriction? Conversely, do you have a child who struggles with a particular sin? She may need your love and your help mortifying that sin by “gouging out the eye” of the internet or “cutting off the hand” of that destructive friendship.
5. God wants our obedience to be motivated by our love for Him.
God doesn’t want us to obey Him because we have an unbiblical view of Him as a mean old ogre and we’re terrified of Him. He also doesn’t want us to obey Him in order to get something from Him, to impress others, or just to go through the motions. God wants us to want to obey Him because we love Him.
God wants us to *want* to obey Him because we love Him.
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Have you fostered an environment of sacrificial love for your children in your home? Do you lay down what you want or how you feel to do what’s best for them? Do you invest time in them, pouring the gospel into them, teaching them God’s Word, and demonstrating that we obey Christ because we love Him? Do you take time to talk and play with your children? Do you tell them you’re proud of them? Discipline them and say no when necessary? Are you generous with hugs, “I love you’s”, and encouragement? Do you encourage them to develop their talents and skills? Having parents who love their children in a godly way doesn’t guarantee obedience, but it does encourage it.
6. God doesn’t micromanage every move we make.
At least not the way humans sometimes micromanage. Have you ever noticed that there are no commands in the Bible like, “Thou shalt wear blue socks every Tuesday,” or “Thou shalt not stay up past 11:38 p.m.”? Regulating every little thing we do isn’t God’s way. He loves us and cares for us, He tells us what He expects from us and the consequences of obeying and disobeying Him, and then He gives us space within those parameters to make decisions that are aligned with His will as revealed in His Word. As long as we’re not violating any of His principles or commands and we’re exercising godly wisdom, it’s fine with Him if we want to wear red socks on Tuesday or stay up until midnight.
Regulating every little thing we do isn’t God’s way. God doesn’t micromanage every move we make.
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Our children need space to make decisions within the confines of the rules we’ve set up, especially children who haven’t given us any reason not to exercise reasonable trust in them. Nitpicking, checking, regulating, and hovering over every little move your child makes is smothering and frustrating to her. It says, “I don’t trust you to do what’s right without constant monitoring from me.”
7. God allows us to fail.
I once read the biography of a girl who went blind. She enrolled in a life skills class at a school for the blind to learn how to navigate the world. During orientation, her counselor showed her around the common room of the dorm she was staying in. The counselor took her hand, placed it on the protruding mantel of the fireplace and said, “This is a sharp corner. You’ll need to watch out for it.” The girl gasped, “That’s dangerous! Why don’t you put some padding on it?”. The counselor replied, “You need to learn to be careful and aware of your surroundings. Nobody’s going to pad the sharp corners of the world for you.”
God doesn’t pad the sharp corners of the world for us, either. He doesn’t put us in a protective little bubble where we’ll never be hurt or fail or sin. He gives us everything we need for life and godliness in His Word and allows us to obey or disobey Him. Even when we fail, give in to temptation, and sin.
God doesn’t pad the sharp corners of the world for us, either. He doesn’t put us in a protective little bubble where we’ll never be hurt or fail or sin.
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Consider that your child needs to learn the skill of facing and resisting temptation on her own. Give her enough age appropriate, situation appropriate freedom to do that – and to fail at it and repent – in the spiritual safety of your home. One day you won’t be there to put a lock on the computer. God will hold her responsible for her own sin. Will your child have developed the spiritual strength to say no to temptation when there’s nobody to stop her?
8. God is always there.
He’s not a “helicopter parent,” but He’s always there to listen to us, help us, nurture us, and be our Wonderful Counselor and Everlasting Father.
If you are a parent, job one is not your career, it’s parenting. Generally speaking (yes, there are sometimes exceptions and exigent circumstances), that means, Mom, your primary vocation is to raise your own children. Don’t just assume you have to work outside the home. Pray fervently for God to make a way for you to raise your children. Be creative and look for ways to get out of the workforce and get home. Slash every possible expense. Move. Eat at home. Home school instead of private school. Sell a vehicle. Bargain hunt. Find a way to earn money from home. Make the effort. Your children don’t just need any random person to raise them, they need you.
Your children don’t just need any random person to raise them, they need you.
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Are we imitating our Heavenly Father in the way we parent? Do we cry out to Him for wisdom in the rules and restrictions we set for our children, trusting Him to help us and to protect our children? Or do we live in fear of what might happen, worrying and trying to protect our children in our own strength?
As much as we’d like to sometimes, we can’t build walls around our children to protect them from every sin or from anything bad ever happening to them. That is not how God deals with us. He loves, cares, and provides for us. He disciplines us appropriately when we need it. He clearly spells out what He expects from us. He warns us of the dangers and consequences of disobedience and teaches us the blessings of obedience. It’s then up to us to decide whether we love Him enough to obey Him, or if we’d rather go our own way.
Do we parent our children like God “parents” us?
Do we parent our children like God “parents” us?
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Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27
1. Where was “the land of [Jacob’s] father’s sojournings”? (1) Review lesson 27 (link above) if necessary.
2. How many children (sons and daughters (35)) did Jacob have, and what were their names? Which of Jacob’s children does chapter 37 focus on? Why? (36, Exodus 1:1-6)
3. What are some principles we can learn from Jacob, Joseph, and the brothers about being godly parents, children, and siblings both in our biological families and our church families?
4. In what ways does Jacob’s unique love and honor for Joseph paint a picture of God’s unique love and honor for Christ, His Son, as well as for us, His sons and daughters through Christ?
5. What are some elements of Joseph’s life that point us ahead to the life and ministry of Christ?
(2)-
(2)-
(3)-
(3)-
(4-5)-
(7,9)-
(8,10)-
(12-16)-
(18)-
(20-22,24)-
(23)-
(26-28,36)-
(28)-
(28)-
(29-30)-
(31)-
(32-34)-
6. Compare and contrast verses 5-8 with the subsequent mistreatment Joseph received at the hands of his brothers. Might Joseph have been tempted to focus on his circumstances and allow them to cause him to doubt God’s Word to him in 5-8?
7. How did the brothers’ sin impact their family? How has your own sin impacted your family and/or your church family?
Have you ever been in a situation as dire as Joseph’s that caused you to doubt the truth of God’s written Word? How was God faithful to bring you through that situation? In what ways did He show Himself to be true to His Word? Find a passage of Scripture that proved true in your situation, and write it out.
Then they took Joseph’s robe and slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood.
Genesis 37:31
From the Pulpit to Repentance
Several have asked me to share my journey from the pulpit to repentance. Ten years ago, my husband and I were Charismatic ministers. We served together as Associate Pastors of a church in Texas. I was on the preaching schedule with the men, monthly. Yes, I got the accolades and approval of the church, and the association we were involved with until…. The grace of God reached down and pulled my husband and me both back to the Word of God and out of the fire.
Here is a snapshot of the journey, our journey. It is hard to share. In fact, I have shared our story with select few. Sure, this will bring fiery darts my way, but I really couldn’t care less. I trust that this will help open the eyes of those seeking Truth.
I met my husband in an evangelical church, he was a youth pastor at the time. Both of us were from very Biblically based churches. My husband was the son of a Baptist minister. As a student at Biola College, I remember the warning given to the students by my professor, Dr. Curtis Mitchell, against tongues and the unbiblical Charismatic movement. Truth is, I was curious as most college age young people. I found myself wondering if Dr. Mitchell knew what he was talking about.
I met my husband my sophomore year of Biola. He had a full time job and was a youth pastor. He had a ministry to teens and the kids loved him. He was everything that I prayed and asked God for. We were married one year after we met. I wish I could say we lived happily ever after. When you are on God’s team, attacks come, and they are very real. As a young couple, we found ourselves in two churches, both with serious issues.
After one year of marriage, he was offered a position as a youth pastor at the beach, one block from the ocean. It was an awesome church where we were both very happy. The youth group was growing, kids’ lives were being changed, and parents were grateful. All was well until . . . the senior pastor asked a friend of his to become the Associate Pastor. The new staff member immediately began to breed distrust between the staff. He had an agenda, to bring a copy of the Satan bible into the youth group and have the kids read it. We found ourselves in a spiritual battle that we had never anticipated. We did not want to cause a church split so my husband resigned. (We found out later that this man had a history of going from church to church and causing splits!)
Another local Baptist church contacted my husband. His youth pastor was being transferred by his full-time job, and Phil was asked to step in.
Things were going well at the new church. The youth group was thriving. Nine months in to the job, the senior pastor was asked to resign, the music director’s wife divorced him, and then the music director committed suicide. Upset, discouraged, angry at God were only some of my emotions. I wanted to quit the ministry. We both were so discouraged. It was at that point that Phil decided that he was through with the ministry. We were done!
The last two churches had taken their toll on us. We hardly read the Bible, only attended church. Our marriage was having issues and another baby was on the way. We were trying to keep ourselves together, no one knew the depth of our pain and discouragement. Looking back, I can see clearly that what happened to us was a direct attack from the enemy.
In the midst of the pain, I knew that the God was the answer. Not wanting anything more to do with the traditional church, I gravitated towards the popular charismatic movement. Some of my family had gone that direction, they seemed happy – so I thought maybe that’s what we needed.
Looking back. I now see now that it was all a trap. The discouragement with the church, the hurt, thinking that God let us down . . . we were slowly being destroyed. I got into the Charismatic movement first. I started by going to meetings, listening to TBN, talking to my family. Phil tried to warn me but being hard headed, stubborn and thinking I knew more than he did (he wasn’t reading his Bible so what could he say to me????) I took the bait and had my first experience. I say “experience” because everything seemed to be an experience from that point on. To be truthful, I did feel happier, read my Bible, (substituted the KJV with the Amplified version), and was nicer to live with. He decided that because I had made some positive changes that maybe I was on to something. He jumped in with me and we started attending a Charismatic fellowship. Please note as I write from this point on, the progression . . .
Discouragement, mad at God, feeling empty, Charismatic appeals, we take the bait.
At no time did we consult God’s Word on any of the teaching we were hearing. The Bible was used in the sermons with enough truth that we bought into the lie.
We moved our family to Tulsa. Phil enrolled in Rhema but half way through the first year, he left school. We look back and see the grace of God even in that situation. In the meantime, we had become friends with another couple and she and I were convinced we were supposed to be ministers. Women ministers were all the rage, and all were serving with their husbands, so why not us? We all continued in the Word of Faith churches in Tulsa, voraciously reading every book, attending meetings. At one point, we all decided to be ordained. After applying and being interviewed, we were ordained along with many other couples.
We found a church that was growing and we got involved. We thought we could use our “ministry gifts” there. We did become leaders in the church. I led a woman’s group and together we did a weekly care group in our home. We were being destroyed emotionally as the church was spiritually abusive. It was taking its toll on everyone, including our kids. We both began to see how the Word of God was being twisted from the pulpit to say things that were not there and there was no demonstration of the love of God.
One morning, while having my quiet time, I read an article about spiritually abusive churches and the signs of a toxic, abusive environment. Everything I read we were experiencing. It was clear that we had to leave.
I went to my husband with tears streaming down my face and shared what I believed God was saying. I trusted him to make a family decision. It was the next Sunday that the pastor stood up and said to the congregation, “If you are called to this church, you are called to me.” Walking out, my husband looked at me and said, “We are done.” We quit the fellowship with a resignation letter and never looked back.
A job change was in the air. We both got jobs in Dallas, TX. We left Oklahoma and never looked back. Our daughter moved to Seattle and within a few years, our son did the same. We were all out of Oklahoma!
After a couple of years, we decided to go back to church but did not know where to go. Someone had invited us to attend a little Charismatic start up church and we went. We fell in love with the Filipino pastor and his dear wife. We started going and helping them. The pastor invited us to be on staff and he submitted papers for our ministerial license. (We had rescinded our other ministry certificates years earlier). We became co-associate pastors. We loved the people and we both preached one Sunday a month. Phil and I had begun our personal studies at home, using the KJV Bible. We studied the Emergent Church and saw how it was infiltrating the organization. We read John MacArthur’s book, Charismatic Chaos, and scales began to fall from our eyes. Everything that John MacArthur wrote in his book was 100% accurate. We had experienced it first hand and had lived it.
When I saw that I had not held to the faith that was once delivered to the saints, tears of repentance gushed. I cried for weeks. I had wronged the Lord. I had been duped, taken the bait of Satan, and strayed way off the track. Phil had his own similar moment with the Lord. The beautiful part of this testimony is that each of us came to the same place at the same time using the same Bible. God, in his grace, had snatched us out of the fire. We now had a decision to make. We then drafted a letter of resignation to the organization and walked away.
We were done. We had each other, we had God’s Word. We had already walked away from Word of Faith in Tulsa, and now we walked away from everything Charismatic. The circle was complete. We went into Babylon but God brought us out. We found a Biblical church where women are in their place. I have never looked back.
If you are reading this, I plead with you to think Bible, read your Bible, stop listening to Charismatic/Word of faith/Emergent church and women preachers. We tossed books, tapes, cd’s, Bibles. Our library was quite large. Yes, we tossed our huge library in the trash.
Today we stand on God’s Word. I don’t need to preach to be fulfilled. God has given me a national platform in a dental organization. I influence women all over the country and as God gives opportunity, I share his grace. I found my place in Christ, in my marriage, and in my church. I am 100% fulfilled being the person God has called me to be.
Today I stand heart- broken as I look across Christianity and see the deception. With tears, I am humbled and grateful for God’s grace, His forgiveness, His love, and the Truth of His Word.
We have come full circle – back to the Bible and the roots we were raised with. I pray that you too will find the Truth. Seek and Ye shall find. Here is a clue . . . Truth is in God’s Word!
Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His Word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Your testimony can be as brief as a few sentences or as long as 1500 words. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!
