Holidays (Other), Old Testament, Parenting

Throwback Thursday ~ Bad Dad David?

Originally published June 16, 2019

I recently finished reading through the life of David during my quiet time. When we think of David, the first thing to jump to mind is probably “and Goliath” or “and Bathsheba” or maybe that he was a king or a psalmist. But have you ever thought of David and the first thing to come to mind was “lousy father”? I haven’t. And the Bible doesn’t explicitly tell us that he was a bad dad. And, let’s face it, even the most godly parents in the world can have a kid or two who turn out to be prodigals. But if you look at how some of David’s children turned out, you have to at least wonder about his parenting skills.

First you’ve got Amnon – as disgusting a specimen of a human being as ever walked the planet. He makes himself physically ill lusting day after day for his half sisterTamar. That’s a lot of lust. But at least – at least – he keeps it to himself. For a while, that is.

Amnon’s got an equally disgusting cousin, Jonadab – who, instead of smacking him senseless when Amnon shamelessly confesses his dastardly daydreams – devises a scheme to help Amnon indulge his foul and festering flesh by tricking David into making Tamar available to him. David sends Tamar to Amnon’s house, and Tamar pleads with him not to force himself on her.

(While Tamar is pleading with her pustule of a brother, she says something interesting: “Please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” Now, arguably, it’s likely she was just saying whatever she could think of in the moment to get away from Amnon and didn’t really believe David would allow Amnon to marry her. But if she did believe that to be true, that definitely says something about David. Because, by that time in Israel’s history, intermarriage between two people who shared a parent was big-time illegal with severe consequences for the offenders. And David and everybody else in the kingdom knew that. Did David’s children think he would break the law for them and excuse them from punishment? And for such a nauseating reason?)

But Amnon ignores Tamar’s heartbreaking pleas and forcibly rapes her. He rapes his sister. David finds out what happened and is understandably angry. But does he follow the law and have Amnon executed? Nope. (So we at least have our answer to the question of whether or not David would break the law for his children.) If David did anything about the situation, the Bible doesn’t record it.

Fast forward two whole years. David has still not made his rapist son face the music, so Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, metes out his own brand of justice, putting Amnon to death.

Fast forward a few more years and Absalom thinks, “I believe I’d make a better king than dear old Dad.” So he sets about manipulating and stealing the hearts of his countrymen away from David and stages a bloodless coup. David ends up having to flee for his life from his own son. Meanwhile, Absalom moves into the palace, sets up a love nest on the roof where everybody can see, and sleeps with David’s concubines. Then, Absalom gathers up an army to hunt David – his father – down in order to kill him and secure his throne.

David’s men fight valiantly for him, risking their own lives. Joab, the commander of David’s army – perhaps considering David’s command to “deal gently” with Absalom as ludicrous after all Absalom has done – seizes an opportune moment, and kills Absalom. David flips out in grief, so much so that Joab has to rebuke him: all these men risked their lives to save you, David, and you’re crying and moaning over this wretch who was trying to kill you! Snap out of it or they’re going to turn on you! Fortunately, David has the sense to listen to him.

After some more wars, some famine, and a “sin-sus,” Adonijah decides he can pull off the coup his brother Absalom so spectacularly failed at. David is old and sickly, and it should be easy for Adonijah to make a grab for the throne. And in the description of Adonijah, here’s what was said that initially got me thinking David wasn’t Dad of the year:

His [Adonijah’s] father [David] had never at any time displeased him [Adonijah] by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” 

Are you picking up what the author of 1 Kings is laying down? David was an indulgent father. He had never at any time questioned his son’s actions or intervened in a way that upset him. He let Adonijah run wild and do what he wanted to do. And the way Amnon and Absalom acted, it’s reasonable to surmise that David raised them the same way, along with all the rest of his children. It’s a miracle Solomon turned out as well as he did (at least until his wives drew him away from the Lord into idol worship). Reading the first nine chapters of Proverbs, I can’t help but wonder if Solomon observed David’s parenting and was determined not to follow his poor example. Listen to my instructions, son. Get wisdom. Don’t be a fool.

Sometimes Bible characters set a great example for us. David, a man after God’s own heart, set many. But sometimes God lets us see their poor and sinful behavior so we can learn not to follow their example. Moms and Dads, let’s make sure we are men and women after God’s own heart when it comes to parenting our kids.

Happy Father’s Day, y’all.

Podcast Appearances

No Trash, Just Truth Podcast Guest Appearance

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Rose Spiller and Christine Paxon of Proverbs 9:10 Ministries on their delightfully named No Trash, Just Truth podcast – “taking out the trash of false teaching and replacing it with biblical truth”.

Listen in (or watch and listen above) as we chat about the Old Testament, Andy Stanley, Bible study, evangelism, a balanced view of the role of women, and more!

Check out the Proverbs 9:10 website, and find all their social media links so you can give them a follow. Also, be sure to subscribe to the Proverbs 9:10 YouTube channel so you’ll never miss an episode of No Trash, Just Truth, or add it to your queue on your favorite podcast platform.

Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the episode:

A Word Fitly Spoken Podcast

Searhing for a new church? (always in the blue menu bar at the top of the blog)

Andy Stanley

6 Reasons You Need to Stay Hitched to the Old Testament

Ezekiel Bible Study

The Sermon on the Mount Bible Study

Sisters Are Part of the Family of God, Too!


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a women’s conference or church event? Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat!

Ezekiel Bible Study

Ezekiel ~ Lesson 1- Introduction

Welcome to our new study: Ezekiel!

What is God’s perspective on sin?  What is His posture toward His people when they persist in sin…and when they repent? What was it like to be a prophet of (mostly) doom and gloom? For the next few months we’ll work our way through the book of Ezekiel, learning about the holiness of God and what it’s like to stand on God’s Word even when “God’s people” don’t want to hear it. You might be surprised to find out just how relevant this Old Testament book is to Christians today!

The image in the title pic for this study alludes to Ezekiel 33:7:

So you, son of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me.

In Ezekiel’s day a watchman would be stationed in a watchtower in an area with good visibility so he could see if an enemy was approaching the city. The watchman needed good eyes and the ability to distinguish an enemy from an ally. If he spotted an enemy, he was to alert everyone to the impending threat and the need to mount a defense. God appointed Ezekiel a spiritual “watchman” to His people, Israel. The book of Ezekiel is God’s warning to His people – through the prophet Ezekiel – that the enemy of sin is overtaking them.

Parts of the book of Ezekiel can be a little challenging. Your comprehension will be challenged. Your patience might even be challenged. But it’s good to stretch ourselves and choose books that help us to develop discipline in our study of the Word, rather than always choosing the shorter or “easier” books of Scripture. I have complete confidence that you’re up for the challenge and that God will grow you in the grace and knowledge of Christ as you apply yourself to His Word.

Ezekiel is one of the longer books of Scripture, weighing in at 48 chapters. This means that instead of studying approximately one chapter per week in depth (as we usually do in my studies of shorter books), we will be covering at least two chapters (often more) per week with a broader perspective.

As I mentioned in this recent article on study resources, you might – particularly for this book of the Bible – want to invest in a good study Bible or at least check out some of the online resources that can help if you have questions while you’re studying.


If you’re new to using my Bible studies, just a few housekeeping items and helpful hints:

The studies I’ve written (you can find all of them at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) are like “training wheels”. They’re designed to teach you how to study the Bible for yourself and what kinds of questions to ask of the text so that, when you get the hang of it, you won’t have to depend on other people’s books and materials – even mine – any more. To that end, I do not provide answers for the study questions in the studies I’ve written.

My studies are meant to be extremely flexible and self-paced so that you can use them in the way that works best for you. You can do an entire lesson in one day or work on the questions over the course of the week (or longer). You do not need to feel obligated to answer all (or any) of the questions. If the Holy Spirit parks you on one question for several days, enjoy digging deep into that one aspect of the lesson. If He shows you something I haven’t written a question about that captures your attention, dive in and study it! Those are ways the Holy Spirit speaks to us through His Word. This is your time to commune with the Lord, not a school assignment or work project you are beholden to complete in a certain way by a certain deadline.

I will post a new lesson on the blog every Wednesday, so there is nothing to sign up for or commit to. Simply stop by the blog each week, or subscribe to the blog via e-mail to have the lessons delivered to your inbox.

I use hyperlinks liberallyThe Scriptures for each lesson will be linked at the beginning of the lesson and in the lesson questions. As you’re reading the lesson, whenever you see a word in a different color text, click on it, and it will take you to a Scripture, article, or other resource that will help as you study.

All of the studies I’ve written are suitable for groups or individuals. You are welcome to use them as a Sunday school or Bible study class curriculum (for free) with proper attribution.

You are also welcome to print out any of my Bible studies (or any article I’ve written) for free and make as many copies as you’d like, again, with proper attribution. I’ve explained more about that in this article (3rd section).


Introduction to Ezekiel

Before we begin studying a book of the Bible, it’s very important that we understand some things about that book. We need to know…

Who the author was and anything we might be able to find out about him or his background.

Who the audience of the book is: Jews or Gentiles? Old Testament Israelites or New Testament Christians? This will help us understand the author’s purpose and approach to what he’s writing.

What kind of biblical literature we’re looking at. We approach books of history differently than books of wisdom, books of wisdom differently than books of prophecy, etc.

What the purpose of the book is. Was it written to encourage? Rebuke? Warn?

What the historical backdrop is for the book. Is Israel at war? At peace? In exile? Under a bad king? Good king? Understanding the historical events surrounding a piece of writing help us understand what was written and why it was written.

When the book was written. Where does the book fall on the timeline of biblical history? This is especially important for Old Testament books which are not always arranged in chronological order.

So this week, before we start studying the actual text of the book of Ezekiel, we need to lay the foundation to understanding the book by finding the answers to these questions.

Read the following overviews of the book of Ezekiel, taking notes on anything that might aid your understanding of the book, and answer the questions below:

Bible Introductions: Ezekiel at Grace to You

Overview of the Book of Ezekiel at Reformed Answers

Summary of the Book of Ezekiel at Got Questions

1. Who wrote the book of Ezekiel? How do we know this?

2. Approximately when was Ezekiel written? What is the geographical setting of the book of Ezekiel? Here are some maps (scroll down to “Ezekiel”) that may be helpful as you study through the book of Ezekiel.

3. Who is the original, intended audience of the book of Ezekiel? Describe the historical setting (historic events, politics, sociology of the time, etc.) of Ezekiel.

4. Which genre of biblical literature is the book of Ezekiel: law, history, wisdom, poetry, narrative, epistles, or prophecy/apocalyptic? What does this tell us about the approach we should take when studying this book versus our approach to books of other genres?

5. What is the theme or purpose of the book of Ezekiel?

6. What are some of the major topics of instruction or exhortation in the book of Ezekiel? How do these topics relate to the theme of Ezekiel?

7. What are some ways Ezekiel points to and connects to Jesus?

8. What else did you learn about Ezekiel or the setting of this book that might help you understand the text of the book better?

Take some time in prayer this week to begin preparing your heart for this study. Ask God to give you wisdom and understanding for the text and a greater appreciation for his attributes of wrath and mercy as we study Ezekiel together.

Uncategorized

The Word on Wednesdays

I’m going to be taking a break on Wednesdays getting ready for our new study. I hope you’ll enjoy it and that it will edify you as you seek to grow in Christ and His Word. (The picture above does not mean we will be studying James. :0) Unless Providentially hindered, I hope to announce the new study in the next few weeks. Stay tuned, and keep an eye on the blog on Wednesdays.

In the meantime, I’ll be posting some articles from the archives that I think you’ll find helpful as we make our way toward our next study. Here is this week’s article:

Wednesday’s Word

Wednesday is Bible study day here on the blog. In my Wednesday’s Word Bible study series you’ll find miscellaneous, one lesson Bible studies from each book of the Bible. One chapter of Scripture followed by study questions. This sampler series demonstrates that there’s nothing to be afraid of when approaching those “lesser known” books and that every book of the Bible is valuable and worth studying.

Wednesday’s Word ~ Lamentations 3

lam 3 22 23

I am the man who has seen affliction
under the rod of his wrath;
he has driven and brought me
into darkness without any light;
surely against me he turns his hand
    again and again the whole day long…Continue reading

Uncategorized

The Word on Wednesdays

Hi ladies! I hope you enjoyed our most recent Bible study, Living Stones: A Study of 1&2 Peter which we recently wrapped up.

I’m going to be taking a break on Wednesdays getting ready for our new study. I hope you’ll enjoy it and that it will edify you as you seek to grow in Christ and His Word. (The picture above does not mean we will be studying James. :0)

So, if you haven’t quite finished with the Living Stones study, you can use this time to finish up, and I’ll also be posting some articles from the archives that I think you’ll find helpful as we make our way toward our next study. Here is this week’s article:

Watching and Warning with Ezekiel

Through the Bible in 2014 ~ Week 36 ~ Aug. 31- Sep. 6
Ezekiel 16-34
Watching and Warning with Ezekiel

Well, Ezekiel is still prophesying (and he’ll still be prophesying until Saturday :0) God is still sending out the same message through him. Again and again, God chastises His people, trying to shake some sense into them so they will repent and turn back to Him… Continue Reading