Happy Wednesday, Ladies! It’s time to kick off our next Bible study:
…..with a fun title pic contest!
What does the Bible say about discerning between true and false doctrine? How does God regard false teachers, and how are we to deal with them in our personal lives and families, and as the church?
Have you ever read the book of Job? When we think about Job’s story, our minds usually turn to the theme of suffering, and how to suffer well as Christians, but did you realize another major theme of the book of Job is discernment? Job’s three friends come to him in his suffering and comfort him with … false doctrine. Job is well on his way to believing them when his true friend, Elihu, steps in and, though he’s not perfect, does his level best to correct them.
The theme verse for this topical study in discernment comes from Elihu’s speech in Job 34:
Hear my words, you wise men, and give ear to me, you who know; for the ear tests words as the palate tastes food. Let us choose what is right; let us know among ourselves what is good.
Job 34:2-4
This 11-15 lesson study will help us to be wise women who pay attention to what God says about discernment and how to avoid false doctrine. It will show us how to test words as the palate tastes food. It will teach us to know what is good, so we can choose what is right.
But before we get started studying, how about a little fun?
You’ve probably noticed that I design a title picture for most of the Bible studies I write. Here are a few past title pics I’ve designed myself:
But sometimes, I like for us all to share in your creativity. Y’all have sent in some beautiful and creative entries in our past title pic contests – indeed, the title pics for The Sermon on the Mount, The Women of Genesis, Living Stones,Imperishable Beauty, and other studies, were all designed by readers – so, once again, I wanted to get some of you involved in the design process for our new study.
You can see the rest of my Bible study title pics as well as those designed by my readers at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Take a moment to look them over to get a feel for my style and the general appearance I like my title pics to portray.
If you enjoy and have a knack for photo editing, or you know someone who does, I’m accepting submissions for title pictures for the Choose What Is Good study. If your submission is chosen it will be used each week of the study, and you’ll be credited (name and website, if any) by watermark. I’d love to be able to offer a huge cash prize, but, hey, we’re small potatoes here. This is just for fun and maybe a little publicity for your site, if you have one.
Contest Guidelines
☙Ladies only. Sorry guys! :0)
☙You must use images that don’t require attribution. Pictures you’ve taken yourself are fine, as are images from sources such as Pixabay, Pexels, Freely, Unsplash, StockSnap, or other stock photo web sites. Please include the image source web sites you use along with your submission. (You cannot just grab and use any old picture off the internet. Photographers own their images and usually require permission, attribution, and often a fee, for their use.)
☙Title pics should be landscape (a horizontal rectangle) with a width of 2000-4000 pixels and proportionate height. I prefer JPG images, but PNG is fine, too, if necessary.
☙Your title pic must contain the full title of the study: Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment (Be sure to double check your spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. You can omit the colon after “Right” if “Choose What Is Right” and “A Study in Discernment” are not on the same line. See my image above. Notice that “in” is the only word not capitalized in this title.).
☙Since I use the title pic background image for each lesson’s suggested memory verse, please send a blank copy (no words on it) of the picture you’re using along with the title pic you design.
(In case you were wondering, the image on the left is not a design style that’s likely to be selected.)
☙If your submission is selected, I’ll be glad to watermark it with your website address (please submit your picture without any watermarks) if you have one, as long as your web site doesn’t conflict with my statement of faith or my beliefs outlined in the Welcome tab.
☙Deadline for submissions is 11:59 p.m., Monday, February 27, 2023.
☙ E-mail your title pic submission along with a blank copy of your image, your full name, web site address (if any), and the source(s) you used for your image(s) to MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com. You are welcome to submit as many images as you like.
☙Please don’t be offended if your submission isn’t selected. If I peruse all the submissions and I’m just not “feeling it,” I may still elect to design one of my own.
☙☙☙☙☙
Feel free to share this around with friends who have an interest in photo editing. If you want to take a whack at it for fun but don’t know where to start, play around with Be Funky, PicMonkey, or Canva and see which one works best for you.
Think about how the Bible describes and defines discernment, Scripture’s posture toward false doctrine, and the necessity of sound doctrine, and try to capture one of those themes in your image.
The Lord’s richest blessings to you, readers. It is an honor and a joy to serve you in Christ. Welcome to all the newbies and to you seasoned veterans of the blog.
Because some of y’all are new, you aren’t yet aware of all of the resources here to help you. Or maybe you’ve been around a while and haven’t noticed something that might be helpful. Let’s remedy that!
Second, be sure to familiarize yourself with all of the tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of the page. That’s where I keep the info I’m most frequently asked about.
Third, there’s a search bar at the bottom of every page (and one in the blue menu bar at the top of every page) which might help you find what you need.
And finally, let me get you new readers some answers to the questions several of you have asked. Some of you long time friends may have missed these along the way, so I hope they’ll be helpful to you, too!
What is your take on having a “life verse” or favorite verse? People ask this frequently and I can never tell them one specific verse as there have been many verses through many situations that have been special to me.
I think you’ve hit on an important part of the answer. Life is constantly changing, and the Word addresses all of those various needs and situations. Who could banner or cling to only one verse in the midst of all of that, and why would anyone want to? I’ve answered this a bit further -with Scripture- in my article…
Hi! I’m looking for sound doctrine Spanish women teachers.
It’s always encouraging to hear from women who want to make sure they’re consuming sound doctrine! Don’t limit yourself to women teachers, though, especially when the language barrier is probably already severely limiting your choices. There are far more doctrinally sound male pastors and teachers out there than female, with far more resources.
I would check Grace to You, Ligonier, and HeartCry Missionary Society (Paul Washer). I know they all have books and resources (sermons, articles, etc.) in Spanish, and if you can’t find exactly what you’re looking for on the site, you can contact them directly, and they can point you in the right direction.
My husband and I have gone to a “contemporary” Christian church for 12 years. The music isn’t our preference but we’ve overlooked it because the teaching was solid; however, after recently learning the truth about Bethel, Hillsong and Elevation, we’ve discovered other false teaching with the use of IF: Gathering for women and Orange curriculum for children/youth. We plan to talk with the lead and administrative pastors who are also elders very soon. Should we stay to see what happens or do we have the freedom to leave now? Thank you.
I’m so sorry the leadership of your church is doing this.
You should stay until you’ve talked with the pastors and elders. If they clutch their pearls, gasping, “Oh dear, we had no idea these were false teachers! Please give us more information so we can eradicate false doctrine from our church!” well, praise God, stay, and help them.
But in my experience, when false doctrine and false teachers have infiltrated a church to this extent, the leadership of the church are either so biblically ignorant and lazy that they don’t know what constitutes false doctrine, or they simply don’t care that they’re feeding poison to their congregation, and they will dig in their heels and try to make you the bad guy for confronting them. They care more about scratching the itching ears of the people who fill the pews with what’s easy and popular than they do about pleasing God. They’re committing pastoral malpractice by shirking their Titus 1:9 mandate. And all of this disqualifies them from the office of pastor / elder, no matter how solid the teaching seems (don’t think that their theology and teaching isn’t affected by this). I do not envy them the day that they will stand before God and answer to Him for their shoddy shepherding.
If you find this to be the case when you talk to your pastors and elders, feel free to leave and find a doctrinally sound church. You’ve done all you can and all God requires of you.
Here are a few resources that may help you and others in similar situations:
My husband is Catholic and comes from a deeply Catholic family tradition. I have recently started attending a Bible-teaching church on my own. Outwardly, he approves. I prayed over this subject yet still wrestle with it and wonder if I am being disobedient. I would appreciate wisdom on this.
I know this is a really difficult situation. May the Lord comfort you and give you wisdom. Sadly, situations like this – in which the husband is either unsaved and / or wants to go to a heretical or unbiblical “church” and the wife craves a doctrinally sound church – are not uncommon. Here are a couple of cases I’ve addressed in the past:
No, you are not being disobedient, either to your husband (especially since he says he approves) or to God.
What are your other options? The only two I can think of in your situation would be going to Catholic services with your husband or not going to church at all. Both of those would be wrong.
God is quite clear all over Scripture that He doesn’t want His people anywhere near false doctrine or false teachers, and that’s what Catholicism is. It’s an anti-biblical, non-Christian religion. It is one of the accursed “another gospels” of Galatians 1:6-9. You no more belong at a Catholic service than at an altar of Baal or in the temple of Artemis.
So you can’t go to services with your husband. You can’t not go to church at all. Your only other option is to do what you’re doing – find a doctrinally sound church and go without him. What other choice do you have?
I do appreciate your post. One question – in hearing God speak. I have heard God speak to me. I have felt prompted and convicted. From what I am seeing on your website, it seems as if you are saying that is unbiblical. Can you please clarify and provide scripture for that? Also, just recently when reading the Christmas story, I noted that Joseph was warned in a dream. Trying to reconcile with what you are saying.
That’s a great question, and it sounds like God is growing you in discernment and the knowledge of His written Word. That’s wonderful!
First, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about “hearing God speak”. When I use that terminology, I’m talking about things like, “I audibly heard God speak to me and tell me to buy the red car instead of the blue one,” or “God spoke to me in a dream and told me I’m going to marry a guy named Todd.”. Direct, specific, extra-biblical revelation. God doesn’t do that today.
I’m not talking about things like, “I was praying and suddenly felt convicted over the lie I told yesterday, so I repented,” or “I keep seeing or hearing, in various places, this particular Bible verse about trusting God, and it has really made me think about my lack of trust in God. So now I’m praying and studying Bible passages about trusting God more.”. God does do that today. Those are just a couple of ways the Holy Spirit guides us. That type of thing is not what I mean when I say that “hearing God speak” is unbiblical. We need to be careful that we’re not conflating the biblical with the unbiblical.
You say you’ve heard God speak to you. Was it the first way I mentioned, direct, specific, even audible extra-biblical revelation? If so, how do you know – as a matter of objective fact – that it was God? Think of it this way – if you had to prove in a court of law that it actually was God speaking to you, what evidence would you offer?
Because I’ve never encountered someone who said God spoke to her in that way who had anything to offer up as “proof” that it was God other than her subjective feelings or opinion, or the purported intensity of the experience. In other words, just because you believe something to be true doesn’t mean it is, and just because you had a really intense experience doesn’t mean your interpretation of said experience is correct, especially when those things contradict Scripture, which extra-biblical revelation does.
God Himself tells us that His written Word is sufficient for everything we need. Extra-biblical revelation undermines the biblical doctrine of Scripture’s sufficiency. Here are some resources that help explain:
Do you have a list of the biblically solid women writers you would recommend? I’m compiling a list of resources for our women’s event table. I have some…but I thought you might have some I hadn’t thought about.
Yep! See that blue menu bar at the top of this page? Click on “Recommended Bible Teachers“.
I’m so glad you want to provide doctrinally sound resources for your ladies! (As I mentioned above, I strongly recommend that women not limit themselves to women authors and teachers. There are far more doctrinally sound male authors and teachers out there with far more resources available. Your event table might be a great place to introduce your ladies to some of them!)
I thought this might be a common question, so maybe you can point me to something you have already written on this topic…
You came to the right Mailbag. :0)
I was given [a heretical] book from a well meaning, but undiscerning family member. Do you recommend throwing it directly into the trash…
That is definitely one option (especially since you mentioned you’ve discussed these problematic doctrinal issues with her before). I’ve discussed several methods of disposing of heretical books in this article:
(I know the book you were given wasn’t a false teacher’s study Bible, but I’m going to throw in an article that deals with disposing of those, too, for other readers: The Mailbag: Asked and Answered (July 5, 2021).)
[Or do you recommend] offering to read through it together with the family member so we can discuss the problems in it, maybe reading through it on my own and then discussing the key problems? My husband and I have addressed this topic with the family member before, but I guess it didn’t stick. They attend a church that loves Bethel music and they have shared sermons with us that are borderline Word of Faith stuff, which is when we have addressed the issue with them before.
If she is willing to sit down with you and discuss it – calmly, rationally, Bibles on the table – then please do take the time to do that. (Wouldn’t it be amazing if God used you as He brings her out of darkness and into His marvelous light!) If things start out well but then seem to be getting a little heated, you can always say, something like, “Why don’t we take a break from this for now and pick it up another time? How about some ice cream?”. Or, if she shuts down the conversation: “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, but if you ever have any questions or decide you’d like to talk about it, my door is always open.”.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
It’s a funny thing that it’s so easy for us to see the far away faults and foibles of others, but the ones in our own hearts – the sins and hypocrisy we know most intimately – are constantly in our spiritual blind spot. Jesus understood this all too well and admonished us to make sure our own hands are clean before taking the tweezers to the mote in a sister’s eye.
Often, it’s not that we’re ignoring the plank that’s obscuring our vision, we’re just not even aware that it’s there. When I evaluate my own heart to confess my sins to the Lord, the ones that weigh heaviest on my spirit are not those that I know I’ve committed and need to repent of, it’s the ones I’m sure are lurking somewhere… but I can’t quite put my finger on them.
One of the subtle hypocrisies theologically orthodox, blameless and upright, discerning Christians can have trouble seeing in ourselves is our failure to hold our favorite pastors and teachers to the same biblical standards we apply to other pastors and teachers.
Would you make excuses for them? Sweep this stuff under the rug and continue to listen to their sermons and read their books without batting an eye?
Pastors and teachers don’t get a pass on sin just because they’re Reformed, or discerning, or have a virtually unblemished record of doctrinal soundness, or because they’re “one of the good guys.”
Pastors and teachers don’t get a pass on sin just because they’re Reformed, or discerning, or have a virtually unblemished record of doctrinal soundness, or because they’re “one of the good guys.” If they’re called to account, and they repent and strive toward holiness, hallelujah! That’s what God requires of all Christians – that we walk before Him blamelessly and bear fruit in keeping with repentance. But if they unrepentantly persist in sin despite biblical correction, there’s a problem there- with their own hearts, and with ours, if we knowingly turn a blind eye to their willful disobedience just because they’re our favorites.
God makes it clear throughout His Word that pastors, teachers, and others in positions of spiritual leadership bear a grave responsibility to set a godly example for those who look to them for teaching and guidance. And, in certain ways, God requires a higher standard for those in spiritual leadership than He requires of Christians He has not called to lead.
…No man of the offspring of Aaron the priest who has a blemish shall come near to offer the Lord’s food offerings; since he has a blemish, he shall not come near to offer the bread of his God. He may eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy and of the holy things, but he shall not go through the veil or approach the altar, because he has a blemish, that he may not profane my sanctuaries, for I am the Lord who sanctifies them… Leviticus 21
…And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and Ithamar his sons, “Do not let the hair of your heads hang loose, and do not tear your clothes, lest you die, and wrath come upon all the congregation; but let your brothers, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning that the Lord has kindled. And do not go outside the entrance of the tent of meeting, lest you die, for the anointing oil of the Lord is upon you.” And they did according to the word of Moses… Leviticus 10:1-11
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Titus 2:7-8
not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 1 Peter 5:3
Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. Philippians 3:17
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1
But if that servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed in coming,’ and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk,the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the unfaithful. And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more. Luke 12:45-48
you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. Romans 2:21-23
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. James 3:1
As the passages above allude to, sound doctrine, while crucial, is not God’s only requirement for pastors and teachers. They are also required to rebuke those who contradict sound doctrine (not befriend them or join them on the conference dais). And Paul outlines the numerous behavioral requirements for pastors, elders, and deacons not once but twice, even going so far as to say that deacons must “prove themselves blameless” and that “an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach.” Right theology does not excuse wrong behavior.
Why, then, when God’s standards for those who lead are so high, are we quick to sweep aside unrepentant wrongdoing by the teachers we hold most dear, sometimes even holding them to lower standards than we would hold ourselves? “I would never preach to men, but I’ll give Teacher X a pass on it.” “There’s no way I’d partner with a false teacher, but it’s not a big deal that Preacher Y does it.”
The Jesus who says “be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect,” who says that even one sin is one sin too many, is not a God who is OK with His people glossing over disobedience. God wants sin dealt with, repented of, and forsaken, especially in those who lead, because receiving correction and repenting of sin sets a rare and phenomenal biblical example for Christians to follow.
The Jesus who says “be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect,” who says that even one sin is one sin too many, is not a God who is OK with His people glossing over disobedience.
Do we go off the deep end and reject a trustworthy teacher the first time she does something a little iffy? Of course not. But should we step back, keep a closer, more objective eye on her and her trajectory as time goes by to see if she corrects her course? Yes. Should we stop following her if she continues to dive deeper and deeper into sin with no signs of turning around? Even if she’s always been doctrinally sound? Even if she’s complementarian? Even if she attends a church with a good theological reputation? Even if we’ve enjoyed all of her books thus far? Definitely.
Let’s shed some light on those blind spots our favorite teachers occupy and let our highest loyalty be to Christ, His Word, and His standards for leadership.
¹Sadly (click link on Lauren Chandler’s name), since the original publication of this article, Matt Chandler should no longer be “our darling Matt,” either.
After struggling to find a solid local church, I finally found one that’s gospel-centered. I have been fellowshipping there for close to 6 months now and am planning to pursue membership soon. My fiancé is a godly man, but he lives in another town, so he fellowships and serves in a church which he knows has some unbiblical doctrinal issues I won’t compromise on. After our wedding, we plan to live in the town he currently resides in. There are no Bible believing churches around (all are prosperity gospel churches). I am confused because I am not ready to listen to unsound teaching and later bring up my children in a community I don’t agree with theologically.
That’s such a difficult dilemma to be caught in, and I certainly do sympathize. An engagement period should be a joyful time of planning your wedding and your subsequent life together, not agonizing over major disagreements.
That said, it is good that you recognized this problem before the wedding rather than after, and I would strongly encourage you not to move ahead with the marriage unless and until the two of you have come to a biblical agreement on the matter.
Marriage can be challenging even when you agree on all the important stuff. But when you staunchly disagree on what should be the most important issue in your marriage – Christ, His Word, and His church – it can be devastating. Even if you think you are spiritually mature enough to work through the issue and remain committed to your vows, your husband might not be, and could decide he’d rather give up on the marriage than continue to struggle.
There are a couple of Scripture passages I’d encourage you to take a look at as you continue to work through this dilemma:
2 Corinthians 6:14-18: Though verse 14 of this passage clearly says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers,” (You said your fiancé was a godly man, so I’m assuming he’s a Believer.) and though the context of this passage is more broadly about the church yoking with unbelievers than it is about marriage, there are still some important applications to your situation.
Get a good picture in your mind of two oxen being yoked together to pull a plow or wagon, because that’s the image the Holy Spirit is giving us in this passage. Even if you’re both oxen (i.e. both Believers) what’s going to happen if you’re pulling one direction and your husband is pulling the other direction? Or if you’re pulling one direction and he digs his hooves in and refuses to budge? To plow rightly, you’ve got to be pulling in the same direction together. What would happen if you yoked a full grown ox with a small calf? Even if you’re pulling the same direction, that yoke is going to rub one or both of you raw, cause blisters, etc. Prayerfully think about the words “yoked,” “partnership,” “fellowship,” “accord,” “share,” and “agreement” in this passage in light of the spiritual differences between you and your fiancé.
Ephesians 5:22-33: Examine what this passage calls you to in your role as a wife: Submit to your husband. Respect your husband. Already you have an issue because when it comes to your husband requiring you to do something ungodly (such as attend and raise your children in a heretical “church”) you, as a Believer, must “obey God rather than men.”
Now examine the role this passage calls your husband to. Is he giving himself up for you as Christ did for the church in order to make sure you grow and flourish in sound doctrine in your relationship with the Lord? (v. 25-27) Is he nourishing and cherishing your sanctification? Is he loving you as his own flesh?
In addition to praying and studying the Scriptures, it would be very helpful to make an appointment with your pastor (not his) for pre-marital counseling. He can lead the two of you to talk through the issue and determine whether or not you can resolve it in a biblical way. Your fiancé’s responses should give you a clearer picture of what to do, and if he refuses pastoral counseling, that should also be an indicator about which direction your relationship should go.
Husbands and wives do not have to agree verbatim – although it’s wonderful if they do – on every teensy tinsy molecule of doctrine or the marriage is doomed. (My husband and I have a few minor theological disagreements, but we’re in agreement about 98% of the time, and certainly on all the most important tenets of doctrine.) But heresy versus sound doctrine is not a teensy tinsy molecule of doctrine. It is a major issue that will harmfully impact your marriage and your children – in more ways than you can now imagine – for the rest of your lives. I would strongly encourage you to put the wedding on hold until this issue is resolved in a biblical way. Your love for and loyalty to Christ must take precedence over your love for and loyalty to any man:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:34-37
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Earlier this week, Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay, pubished a blog article entitled Six Reasons Why Women May Be Leaving Your Church. Although I am not particularly a fan of Dr. Rainer (due to his allowing materials from false teachers to be sold at LifeWay), I thought this article was a good one, and I agreed with several of the issues he raised, especially, that these issues need to be addressed by church leadership.
As a ministry wife and someone in the field of women’s ministry myself, I, too, have noticed women leaving the church. Not just women in general, but a certain subset of church-attending ladies: discerning women. While Scripture is pretty clear that we can expect women (and men) who are false converts to eventually fall away from the gathering of believers, why are godly, genuinely regenerated women who love Christ, His word, and His church, leaving their local churches?
While Scripture is pretty clear that we can expect false converts to eventually fall away, why are godly, genuinely regenerated women who love Christ, His word, and His church, leaving their local churches?
Discerning women don’t want to hear pastors twist God’s word. The Bible is not about us, our problems, and making all our hopes and dreams come true. We don’t want to hear seeker-driven or Word of Faith false doctrine. We don’t need self-improvement motivational speeches or a list of life tips to follow. We want to hear a pastor rightly handle God’s word from a trustworthy translation and simply exegete the text.
2. The worship hour has become a variety show
Skits, guest stars, movie clips, dance routines, rock concerts, elaborate sets, light shows, and smoke machines. We didn’t sign on for Saturday Night Live on Sunday. This is supposed to be church. Get rid of all that junk, turn the lights on, give us solid preaching, prayer, and some theologically sound songs we can actually sing, and maybe we’ll stick around.
We didn’t sign on for Saturday Night Live on Sunday. This is supposed to be church.
The Bible could not be more clear that women are not to be pastors, instruct men in the Scriptures, or hold authority over men in other capacities in the church. If your church has a female pastor, worship leader, or elders, or if women are teaching and leading men in Sunday school, small groups, or from the platform in the worship service, or if women are heading up certain committees, departments, or ministries which place them in improper authority over men, you’re disobeying Scripture, and we don’t want to help you do that by attending your church.
4. Children are being entertained, not trained
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of play time or crafts for younger children, but we want our children trained in the Scriptures, not entertained for a couple of hours. We want their teachers to open God’s word and read and explain it to them at a level they can understand. We want them memorizing verses, learning to pray, and demonstrating an age-appropriate comprehension of the gospel. We want them to understand that church is joyful, yet, serious, not a Jesus-laced party at Chuck E. Cheese. We need church to bolster the Scriptural training we’re giving our kids at home.
5. Women’s “Bible” Studies
The majority (and I don’t use that term flippantly) of churches holding women’s Bible studies are using materials written by Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Joyce Meyer, Lysa TerKeurst, Sarah Young, and others who teach unbiblical ideas and false doctrine. Not minor denominational differences of opinion. Not secondary and tertiary unimportant issues that can be overlooked. False doctrine. While we long to study God’s Word with other women, discerning women will not sacrifice sound doctrine nor the integrity of Scripture to do so.
While we long to study God’s Word with other women, discerning women will not sacrifice sound doctrine nor the integrity of Scripture to do so.
Is your church partnering with other “churches” whose orthodoxy and/or orthopraxy are at odds with Scripture? “Churches” which approve of homosexuality or female pastors, or which hold to an unbiblical soteriology (grace plus works, baptismal regeneration, Mary as co-redemptrix with Christ, etc.)? Are you partnering with those who deny the biblical Christ altogether such as Muslims, Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hindus, Mormons, or Buddhists? Discerning women know Scripture forbids yoking ourselves to unbelievers and we want no part of it.
7. Ageism
Look around at your pastor and staff, your lay leadership, your music team, the “face” of your church. How many of those people are over 40? Usually, discernment and spiritual maturity come through walking with the Lord over many years, yet, increasingly, by design, churches are run by twentysomething pastors, staff, and other leadership, who are often spiritually immature and/or lack the wisdom and life experience that come with age. The staff is often specifically structured this way in order to attract young people to the church. The counsel and wisdom mature, godly men and women have to offer is brushed off as old fashioned, and middle aged and older church members feel alienated and unwanted. While there are those among the twentysomething set who are godly and growing into maturity, discerning women value the wisdom and teaching of their godly elders.
8. The “troublemaker” label
Discerning women who see unbiblical things happening in their churches and stand up for what God’s Word says about biblical ecclesiology and teaching are often vilified and labeled as troublemakers. We are called haters, threats to unity, complainers, gossips, negative, and a myriad of other scornful names. All this for wanting things done according to Scripture. Can you blame us for shaking the dust off our high heels and leaving?
Discerning women are often vilified and labeled as troublemakers. Can you blame us for shaking the dust off our high heels and leaving?
Discerning women have little respect for, and find themselves unable to submit to the authority of pastors who see people in their churches acting overtly sinful or propagating false teaching yet are so afraid of confrontation that they will not set things right. By the same token, we cannot continue to attend a church in which we bring scriptural evidence of false teaching or sin to the pastor and he outright denies the biblical truth we present to him. We cannot be members of churches in which pastors will not submit to Scripture or carry out biblical mandates.
Frequently, the discerning women you see tearfully leaving your church have been there for years. Sometimes they leave your church because it was never doctrinally sound to begin with, and God has opened their eyes to this as they grow and mature in Christ. Sometimes they leave because false doctrine and unbiblical practices have crept in and taken over a church that was once a refuge of trustworthy biblical teaching. Either way, these things should not be.
Maybe it’s not that discerning women are leaving the church, but that the church is leaving them.
Maybe it’s not that discerning women are leaving the church, but that the church is leaving them.
