sexual immorality – Michelle Lesley

Originally published September 8, 2017

For more in the Basic Training series, click here.

Sexuality in Western culture is a mess. Within the last hundred years or so, we’ve devolved from a society that had, broadly speaking, a general understanding of, and compliance with, the Bible’s parameters for sex to today’s sexual mores that barely stop short of child molestation and bestiality and permits – even encourages – nearly every other form of perversion.

It can be difficult to know how to approach these issues which have been suddenly thrust upon us, and with which the average person – Christian or not – has very little experience. How are Christians to think about, believe, and address these issues in our families, churches, and communities? Do we just go with the “live and let live” flow of modern society? No. As with every other issue in life, our thinking, our words, and our actions must be shaped by and in submission to the authority of Scripture. Not public opinion. Not political agendas. Not our own personal feelings, opinions, and experiences. Scripture.

The Bible makes sexuality and gender identity very simple for us. God created two sexes of people– male and female¹. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman. God created human sexuality and confined its use to a man and a woman who are married to each other. Every form of gender identity or human sexuality that falls outside these parameters is sin.

Bearing that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the sexual issues impacting the world, the church, and Christians today and how we can respond to them biblically.

Every form of sexuality that falls outside biblical parameters is sin. Let’s take a look at some of the sexual issues impacting the world, the church, and Christians today and how we can respond to them biblically.
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Get the log out
The Bible is very clear that we’re not to be hypocritical when dealing with sin. Scripture’s parameters regarding sexual sin are extremely narrow and govern not only our actions, but our words and thoughts as well. That leaves me guilty. How about you? Where’s your mind when you’re reading that romance novel or watching that steamy movie? Are you using pornography? Flirting with that good looking co-worker even though you’re married? Using double entendres or other suggestive remarks? Exchanging inappropriate e-mails with another man? Fantasizing about sexual encounters with someone you’re not married to? Going farther than you should, physically, on a date? Before we start thinking about addressing the sins others commit, we first need to make sure our own hearts, hands, and mouths are clean by repenting from any sexual sin we’re participating in.

Before we start thinking about addressing the sins others commit, we first need to make sure our own hearts, hands, and mouths are clean by repenting from any sexual sin we’re participating in.
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Sweep around your church’s front door
It’s been pointed out by many lost people, that the church is oh so willing to take a strong stand against news-making sexual issues, but sexual sin inside the church is sometimes swept under the rug. They’re right. How does your church deal with an unmarried couple who are cohabiting? A pastor who uses pornography? A church member who is having an affair? A youth director who’s molesting children? A deacon who uses foul language and makes sexual jokes? Does your church practice biblical church discipline when there’s sin in the camp and comply with sexual predation laws? Do you have screening processes in place to protect the children of your church? Does your church teach against all forms of sexual sin?

Be kind
It should go without saying, but since this is a “back to basics” series it bears repeating: Christ expects Christians to be kind to people – all people – and to treat them with human dignity, respect, and biblical love. Not just in the way we talk to people, but in the way we talk to each other about people. People who live in sexual sin are still made in the image of God and deeply loved by Him. Remember, it was God’s kindness that led us to repentance.

People who live in sexual sin are still made in the image of God and deeply loved by Him. Remember, it was God’s kindness that led us to repentance.
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There’s no such thing as a “gay Christian“
Or a transgender Christian, or a stripper Christian, or a bank robbing Christian, or liar Christian. Qualifying someone’s Christianity by their pet sin is an oxymoron. Christians, by definition, are people who sorrowfully turn from their sin and become completely new sin-hating creations through the power of the shed blood of Christ. Christians are characterized by lifelong repentance and the desire not to sin out of love for their Savior.

and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:15-17

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Are there people who are genuinely saved but still struggle against sexual sin? Of course. Every truly born again person struggles against sin for the duration of her natural life. But the Bible knows nothing of a willfully unrepentant conversion to Christ or life in Christ (regardless of a previous “decision” for Christ, participation in baptism, etc.). It is a contradiction in terms and simply does not exist. Nobody gets to carry her sin with her past the cross.

The Bible knows nothing of a willfully unrepentant conversion to Christ or life in Christ. It is a contradiction in terms and simply does not exist. Nobody gets to carry her sin with her past the cross.
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Tell the good news
People enslaved by sexual sin, especially those who think they’re Christians, need the good news of the gospel just like people enslaved to any other sin. God can and does save people out of homosexuality, transgenderism, promiscuity, and all other forms of sexual immorality, as the 1 Corinthians 6 passage above makes abundantly clear. His arm is not too short to save anyone.

God can and does save people out of homosexuality, transgenderism, promiscuity, and all other forms of sexual immorality. His arm is not too short to save anyone.
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Withholding church membership, ordinances, and leadership
Local church membership, ordinances (baptism and the Lord’s Supper), and leadership positions within the church are restricted to Christians, because the church is, by definition, the body of Christ: regenerated believers. It’s certainly fine for any non-believer to attend services, classes, or events at your church as long as she isn’t being disruptive or pushing unbiblical beliefs, but people who are living unrepentantly in any sin are not Christians and should not be invited to become members of the church, participate in baptism or the Lord’s Supper, and certainly should not be given any position of service or leadership in the church.

Going to the chapel if they’re going to get “married”
Christians should not attend same sex weddings (or receptions, showers, bachelor parties, housewarmings, etc.) for any reason. (When it becomes legal, this will also apply to plural marriages (polygamy) and other unbiblical forms of “marriage”.) Regardless of your motives for attending, it appears to others and to the same sex couple as though you approve of their sin.

Often, the reason Christians will give for feeling they should attend a same sex wedding is that they are afraid declining to attend will cause the couple to cut off the relationship with them, closing the door to any future opportunity to share the gospel. But if you’re close enough to the couple to be invited to the wedding, shouldn’t you have already shared the gospel with them? Do you not trust that God can save someone, either immediately or in the future, from one instance of sharing the gospel? This person’s salvation does not rest on your shoulders. It can only be accomplished by the Holy Spirit, and only in His timing. And whether you have or haven’t yet shared the gospel with the couple, what could your attendance at the wedding accomplish other than creating confusion? How can you support their “marriage” by attending the wedding and then turn around later and tell them they need to repent of this sin?

Additionally, attending the wedding sends the message to your children, family, church, friends, co-workers and others that you approve of the sin of homosexuality. We all have people watching us to see whether we stand with Christ or with the world. It’s imperative that we set a godly example.

Yes, if you decline to attend the wedding, you might lose your relationship with that homosexual friend or loved one. But Christ calls us to separate ourselves from the world and be loyal to Him even if it costs us everything- including those we love the most:

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:37

Yes, you might lose your relationship with that homosexual friend or loved one. But Christ calls us to separate ourselves from the world and be loyal to Him even if it costs us everything- including those we love the most.
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The gospel divides. And Christians are always called to stand on Christ’s side of the divide.

The Wedding Singer
For many of the same reasons Christians should not attend same sex weddings (or other unbiblical forms of “marriage”), Christian wedding service providers (singers, photographers, bakers, wedding consultants, venues, etc.) – and certainly churches – should decline to provide services for same sex weddings. Doing so facilitates sin, is unloving to the couple (who needs to hear the gospel and repent), and is disloyal to Christ. Christ died for this sin. How can someone who calls herself a Christian play any part in helping people celebrate a sin that nailed her Savior to the cross? Yes, you might lose your business. Is Christ worth that to you?

How can someone who calls herself a Christian play any part in helping people celebrate a sin that nailed her Savior to the cross?
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Boys will be BOYS
It is neither loving nor compassionate to help people participating in transgender or other gender identity sin pretend to be the opposite sex or several sexes or no sex at all. While it’s not a good idea to go around speculating about the biological sex of perfect strangers, if you know a person well enough to know that he was born male or she was born female, you should not be using referent terminology that indicates otherwise. A biological male is a “him” not a “her” or a “them.” A biological female is a “her” not a “ze” or “fae”. Christians should also not be participating in other activities that further gender identity sins such as helping a biological male shop for female clothing, attending “coming out” parties, referring to “pregnant men” when the pregnant person is biologically female, etc.

Policy and Procedure
One of the main ways the sexual immorality agenda is being advanced is through lawsuits. If your church won’t allow a same sex wedding in its facilities, the church could be sued. We’ve already seen many instances of wedding service providers who have been sued for declining to provide services for same sex weddings. Laws are now in effect which attempt to force businesses to use the preferred pronouns of those in gender identity sin. It’s a good idea for churches, Christian businesses and other Christian organizations to study up on the legislation surrounding sexual sin, and put in place any possible legal protections. Does your church, business, or organization have the proper written policies in place? You might want to take a look at the Nashville Statement as an example or template.

Sexual sin, whatever form it may take, is just that: sin. People who participate in sexual sin are not a special sect of society. They are sinners just like everybody else. They need love and the gospel just like everybody else. As Christians, we must stand firm on what the Bible says about sexual sin and call those who are enslaved by it out of darkness and into His glorious light. We must offer them the peace, the hope, and the cleansing from sin that only Christ can give.

As Christians, we must stand firm on what the Bible says about sexual sin and call those who are enslaved by it out of darkness and into His glorious light.
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¹Yes, I’m aware that the Fall brought with it genetic disorders and congenital defects that can cause abnormalities in human genitalia. These are extremely rare and require correction and treatment by medical professionals. It is also beyond the scope of this article, which refers to the overwhelming majority of those who choose to participate in sexual immorality or the mutilation of their bodies. Please see the Mailbag article, Ambiguous Anatomy… below.

Additional Resources

The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend A Homosexual Wedding?

The Mailbag: What’s In a Name?

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

The Mailbag: Guess who’s coming to (the women’s ministry) dinner?

Preventative Measures: 6 Steps SBC Churches Can Take to Prevent Sexual Abuse

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Pride, Pronouns, and Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Unashamed: Standing Firm on a Biblical Sexual Ethic at A Word Fitly Spoken

A Review of Single, Gay, Christian by Gabe Hughes

Abuse, Homosexuality, Mailbag, Sin

The Mailbag: Perversion-palooza Potpourri

May 27, 2025May 25, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Originally published June 4, 2024

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

It’s June, and you know what that means: perversion-palooza [aka “Pride”] month. What does the Bible say about these and other issues of sexual immorality? How should your church be addressing them? What can you say if a loved one lives in this kind of sin or has been victimized by it? Here’s a roundup of Mailbag articles and other resources that may help.

Can you give me a basic overview of what the Bible says about sexuality and sexual immorality?

Basic Training: Homosexuality, Gender Identity, and Other Sexual Immorality

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Unashamed: Standing Firm on a Biblical Sexual Ethic at A Word Fitly Spoken

Any resources for offering a biblical apologetic against homosexuality?

Movie Tuesday: Audacity

Is it possible to be a “gay Christian”?

The Hole in World Vision’s Gospel

An Apology, A Request for Forgiveness, and Some Clarifications

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Does God love homosexuals?

God Loves Gays

How can Christians best show homosexuals the love of Christ?

Cancer: A Love Story

Can you give me some general principles and Scriptures for relating to friends and loved ones who live a lifestyle of sexual immorality?

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

How does the legalization of same sex “marriage” impact homosexuals and Christians?

SCOTUS to Rule on Same Sex “Marriage”: A Call to Prayer and Godly Response

Should Christians attend a homosexual (or “trans”) “wedding” as a guest?

The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend A Homosexual Wedding?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Talk Back: Alistair Begg at A Word Fitly Spoken

Should a Christian employee work at a homosexual “wedding”?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Spanking, Women teaching men, Working a homosexual “wedding”…) (section 4)

How can Christians navigate Gay Pride Month?

Glad you Asked: Pride, Parenting, Evangelism and Denying Self at A Word Fitly Spoken

A friend or relative wants me to use an opposite sex name and pronouns for him (or her). Is that biblical?

The Mailbag: What’s In a Name?

Pride, Pronouns & Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

I suspect someone has surgically altered her body to appear to be the opposite sex.

The Mailbag: Lady looks like a dude?

Should a man who presents himself as a woman be allowed to attend women’s events at church?

The Mailbag: Guess who’s coming to (the women’s ministry) dinner?

How should we handle church roles when it comes to medically intersex people?

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

Can you point me to some biblical resources on pornography?

Biblical Resources on Pornography

My husband wants me to watch porn with him to spice up our sex life. Should I?

The Mailbag: Should Christian Couples Watch Pornography Together?

I’m including these resources on sexual abuse in this article because the abuse itself is a perversion of biblical sexuality and because the sexual sins addressed above can lead to abuse. If you were victimized by an abuser, you are not guilty of perversion, an act of perversion was committed against you.

What are some practical ways to prevent sexual abuse at my church?

Preventative Measures: 6 Steps SBC Churches Can Take to Prevent Sexual Abuse (Most of this applies to any church)

I know a woman who is a victim of sexual abuse. How can I help her biblically? (If the victim is a man, much of this still applies, but refer him to your pastor so a godly man can help and disciple him.)

From Victimhood to Victory: Biblically Helping Abused Women Heal

Band-Aids vs. Chemotherapy: Why Suffering Women are Drawn to False Doctrine and 7 Things We Can do to Help.

4 Ways Christian Advocates for Victims of Abuse Need to Get Biblically Back on Track

My husband and I are having sexual problems that stem from the fact that I was molested as a child. What should I do?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Sexual abuse, Feminism, Serpent seed doctrine…) 3rd section

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Discernment, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Shack up shenanigans… Church library discernment… Adding recommended teachers)

April 29, 2025April 28, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

I have a friend who is living with someone she is not married to. She professes to be a Christian. I don’t see or talk to her much as she lives a couple of hours away. I have been invited to spend the weekend with her. I don’t want to go as I don’t want her to think I condone her living situation. How do I graciously bring up this violation of God’s instructions to us regarding sexual immorality?

I’m so sorry your friend’s sin has put you in this difficult situation. I know it’s uncomfortable and awkward, and you’re probably afraid you’re going to offend her and maybe even lose your relationship with her as a result of this situation.

But I want you (and all of my readers who are in awkward situations similar to this) to remember that your friend is the one at fault here for all of this awkwardness and potential hurt feelings, not you. She caused this situation by her sin, and if she doubles down on that sin when you talk to her about it, she will also be at fault for any other negative results that transpire, not you. That’s what sin does. It ruins everything it touches, it impacts areas of our lives we never dreamed it would, and it affects our relationships with the people we love.

I agree it would probably be wisest not to stay overnight with your friend and her shack up. It will seem to her as though you have no problem with her sinful living arrangement. However, accepting or declining the invitation may not be your only two options. What about the possibilities of either making it a day trip (and not spending the night at all), or accepting the invitation, but staying in a hotel or somewhere else besides under her roof? That way, you could spend time with your friend and have the opportunity to call her to repentance, face to face.

This would also give you the chance to share the gospel with her. I know she professes to be a Christian, but it’s important that we believe God over sinful human beings, and God says:

And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God has been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.
1 John 2:3-6

Yes, Christians fall into sin, but Christians also repent. We do not gleefully jump into the pool of sin and swim around in it for extended periods of time. We hate our sin. We feel guilt and conviction over our sin. And we repent. That’s one of the fruits of genuine conversion. Likewise, living in sin without conviction, repentance, etc., is the fruit of someone who is lost, regardless of what she might claim, because God says so.

I would encourage you to go and spend some time with your friend (without spending the night at her house) if at all possible. The Lord has put you – someone who cares for her and knows the Truth – into her life to be salt and light to her.

How to do it graciously? Reassure her of your love for her and that if you didn’t truly love her, you wouldn’t be addressing this with her. And then just tell her the truth. She claims to be a Christian. She’s living in direct violation of God’s Word. She needs to repent and change her ways.

Saying all of this graciously and kindly doesn’t mean she won’t get mad at you and break off the relationship. She might do just that because she loves her sin more than she loves you and certainly more than she loves Christ. No amount of graciousness and kindness on your part can prevent that.

And as strong, godly Christian women, we have to be OK with that. We serve a Savior who was despised and rejected by men. Is a disciple above his teacher or a slave above his master?

“A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!

“Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for an assarion? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

“Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.

“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.

Matthew 10:24-39

The gospel divides. And we are always called to stand with Jesus on His side of the divide.

I am wondering if you lead or have a ladies discernment class/group at your church? How do you handle discernment in your own church – formally or informally? The pushback I’m getting as I clear out our library (I’m the recent Library Chairwoman) has been a surprise to me. I’m wondering if I need to request to my Pastor to start a discernment group either as a Sunday School offering or as a study. I have no idea what resources outside of the Bible I would need, and any direction/ suggestions you could give would be great! 💜 Thank you so much for all you do!

It’s always a challenge when the pastor wants to move the church in a more discerning direction, and sometimes the pushback isn’t pleasant.

We do not have standing groups or classes at my church specifically centered around discernment. It’s just part of our regular sermons, Sunday School lessons, and discipleship classes whenever it comes up in the biblical text we’re studying, just like forgiveness or patience or prayer or any other biblical principle.

But if your church has really had no instruction in discernment, it’s probably best to spend some focused time on it. It would be best and most biblical if your pastor took the lead on this. It’s in his job description / qualifications, after all:

He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
Titus 1:9

It’s up to him how he addresses it – a sermon series, a discipleship seminar, maybe invite Justin Peters in to teach, or whatever. My only suggestion would be that it shouldn’t be framed as a “discernment group“. That makes it sound like a special group only for those who are interested (like a knitting group or a bowling group), when this is an important biblical principle and command for every Christian, “interested” or not. Everyone in your church needs to be instructed in discernment. It’s not optional.

Once your pastor decides how he’d like to handle If you’d like to undergird with the women what he’s doing with the whole congregation, I have two suggestions:

◦ I’ve written a Bible study on discernment. It’s called Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment, and you can find it (along with all the other studies I’ve written) at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. All of my studies are free, available 24/7, and suitable for groups or individuals.

◦ How about making it fun and letting me do the heavy lifting? If you’d like to set up a women’s conference at your church, I’d be delighted to come and teach on the topic of discernment (other topics available too!). Just go back up to the blue menu bar at the top of this page and click on the Speaking Engagements tab for all the details.

One more piece of advice that’s probably a little too late for you but might spare another reader and/or her pastor: the church library can be a bit of a golden calf for some church members, and for various reasons. When a solid pastor friend of mine decided to finally pull the trigger on cleaning out his church’s years’ neglected library of all the fluff and false doctrine, he went about it in a very wise way.

He told none of the church members about it. He went into the library, assessed it, and assigned one of the other pastors’ wives (who was discerning and had been itching to get in there and clean house) to the task. He told her what he wanted removed and told her to come to him with anything else questionable. It was done quickly, quietly, and most importantly, with little to no pushback. That’s what I’d recommend.

Thank you for your list of Recommended Bible Teachers, Authors, etc.! This is great! Can you please add Pastor _____ from _____ Church?

You’re welcome! I’m glad that’s a helpful resource.

Typically, when this kind of request is made, it’s about a pastor, author, etc. that I’ve never heard of. And let me just say, I’m thrilled – THRILLED – that there are so many good ones out there that I haven’t heard of most of them. There are good, doctrinally sound teachers out there, it’s just that most of them are not well known. Don’t be discouraged, thinking there’s nothing out there but false teachers!

But just as a general answer to this question, no, I probably won’t add the person you’re suggesting. The people on the recommended teachers list are people I feel comfortable proactively recommending because I know them personally and/or I’ve personally listened to them long enough (think: years) to know, from first hand experience, that they’re solid.

You’re welcome to keep suggesting people. I might listen to them. But if I do add them, it’s going to be a while.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: May Christian Women Wear Pants?

February 18, 2025February 17, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Originally published April 3, 2017

What are your views on women wearing pants?

For readers who are a little confused by this question, you may not be aware that there are various churches which require women and girls to wear skirts or dresses rather than pants. The local churches I’m familiar with which carry this requirement are Pentecostal and Independent Baptist, though there may be others. (Some of these churches also require women to have long hair and abstain from wearing makeup.)

The initial basis for this requirement is Deuteronomy 22:5…

A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.

…along with the general desire to encourage God-given femininity for women and masculinity for men. Definitely a good idea these days.

But, since my opinion is of zero importance – it’s what God thinks that counts – let’s look at what the Bible says. Is it biblical for a church to make this requirement of Christian women, or, for a Christian woman to choose, on her own, not to wear pants?

Let’s tackle that last question first.

There’s nothing in the Bible that says women have to wear pants, so if you want to wear skirts and dresses all the time, you’re absolutely free to do that. What you may not do (biblically) is think, or say, that wearing skirts and dresses somehow makes you holier or more obedient to God than women who choose to wear pants- because there’s nothing about that in the Bible either.

But what about Deuteronomy 22:5?

Well, let’s take a look at that Scripture using good hermeneutical principles. We need to look at the context, culture, audience, and intent of this verse.

First we need to recognize that Deuteronomy is in the Old Testament. Right off the bat, we must keep in mind that, while there are many underlying, timeless principles in the Old Testament that still apply to Christians (usually because they are reiterated in the New Testament) the particular pronouncement of the Old Testament verse we’re reading may not apply.

Next, Deuteronomy 22 is smack dab in the middle of the Levitical law that was given as a part of the Mosaic covenant. The Mosaic covenant was fulfilled in Christ, which means its laws are no longer binding on us as Christians. We are under the New Covenant of grace through Christ. This is why you’re not sinning if you build a house without a parapet around the roof (verse 8), sow your vineyard, if you have one, with two kinds of seed (verse 9), wear fabric that’s a wool-linen blend (verse 11), or go tassel-less (verse 12). If you think Deuteronomy 22:5 prohibits women from wearing pants, a good question to ask yourself is: “Why would I feel required to obey verse 5 of Deuteronomy 22, but not verses 8-12?”

The next thing we need to look at is the actual wording of Deuteronomy 22. Does it say anything about pants or any other specific item of clothing? No. It says women are not to wear men’s clothes and men are not to wear women’s clothes. Now, keep in mind that the audience for this verse was Old Testament Israel, and that, at the time, in that culture, both men and women wore what we would technically describe today as a “dress.”

Were Moses and rest of the Israelite men – who were actually receiving this law from God at the time – sinning because they were wearing “dresses”? (And, let’s remember, Jesus dressed the same way.) Of course not. In our time and culture, they’re wearing dresses, and dresses are for women. In their time and culture, they’re wearing a garment designed for men. God has never said, “Pants are for men. Dresses are for women.” Pre-twentieth century western culture has said that. So if the men of the Bible weren’t sinning for wearing “dresses” designed for men, how could Christian women be sinning for wearing pants designed for women?

Deuteronomy 22:5 is not addressing the construction of specific garments. It’s addressing the intent of the heart. Since men and women of that culture both wore garments of similar construction (i.e. sleeves, an opening for the head, and a sheath for the torso and legs), there must have been differing accessories (veils, turbans, sashes, belts, cloaks, etc.) that clearly distinguished between male and female outfits. A woman could wear those male accessories and still be wearing a “dress,” but what would her motive for doing so have been? The only motive she could have had was to appear to others to be a man.

In other words, Deuteronomy 22:5 is not addressing American women wearing pants designed for women’s bodies, sold in the women’s department of the store, marketed to women, and purchased by women who have no intention of trying to impersonate, or appear to others to be, a man. It is addressing the sin of cross-dressing (transvestism).

And that is a prohibition that does carry over into the New Testament under the heading of sexual immorality. We are to respect and honor God’s perfect and holy decision to create us as women or men. We are not to alter our clothing, accessories, cosmetics, hair styles, gait, body language, speech patterns, lifestyles, or anatomy in order to appear to others, or ourselves, to be the opposite sex. To do so is to tell God that His decision to make you a woman or a man was wrong. That is rebellion.

So, if a church today really wants to correctly handle and apply Deuteronomy 22:5, it will do so in light of the New Testament passages on sexual immorality. The church should teach that God always makes the right decision to create someone male or female, and that to rebel against God’s perfect design by altering one’s appearance to impersonate the opposite sex is sin which needs to be repented of and forgiven by the shed blood of Christ.

Deuteronomy 22:5 is not about 21st century American women wearing pants designed for women. So, when a church prohibits women from wearing pants – even when done with the best of intentions to honor God – what they are doing is mishandling Scripture and making a law where none exists. Jesus wasn’t too happy when “church leaders” of His time did that, and our churches today shouldn’t be doing it either.

All of that being said, I’ve had the privilege of knowing and, on occasion, worshiping with some dear saints in an IFB church which required skirts for women. These folks truly loved the Lord and honored His word. Any time I attended one of their activities, I wore a skirt so as not to be a stumbling block or draw attention to myself. Churches which carry the requirement of skirts for women but are otherwise doctrinally sound should not be regarded as apostate.

Abuse, Homosexuality, Mailbag, Sin

The Mailbag: Perversion-palooza Potpourri

June 4, 2024May 17, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.