Mailbag

The Mailbag: God saved me out of a false “church” … what do I do now?

God recently saved me out of __________ “church” / religion. I’m not sure what to do next. I’m scared to start looking for a new church because I don’t know what to look for in a good church, and I’m afraid I’ll choose another bad one. And how do I “do” this whole Christianity thing, anyway?

I’ve received some variant of this question dozens of times, and it makes me so happy every time I do. God is still saving people, y’all! Doesn’t that thought just encourage your socks off and fill you with joy?

Whether it’s someone coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, Mormonism, Catholicism, a liberal/progressive “church,” or the New Age, walking through the doors of biblical Christianity is thrilling, but can also be a bit daunting.

As someone who has been in church since my parents brought me home from the hospital, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around being new to the church and the things of Christ as an adult. It must be like landing on Mars, or at least in a foreign country where you don’t know the customs and don’t really speak the language.

When you’re doing something new, it’s always best to start by reading the directions. So here are a few basic directions that might be of help to you if you find yourself newly saved out of an unbiblical system and you’re not quite sure what to do next:

1.
Believe the biblical gospel.

The first priority is making sure you understand and believe the biblical gospel. I know you’re saying you’re saved, but, considering your background and my limited knowledge of where you are spiritually, and considering the fact that sooooo many churches and professing Christians do not know or rightly teach the gospel according to Scripture, I’m not sure what you’ve been told about how to be saved, or “become a Jesus follower,” or however it was put to you, but here’s the truth:

What must I do to be saved?

I strongly urge you – even if you’re 100% positive you’re saved – to take your time and slowly and prayerfully work your way through everything on this page to make sure you understand and believe what the Bible says about how to be saved.

Once you’ve done that, if you still need some reassurance that you’re saved, you might want to work your way through my Bible study Am I Really Saved?: A First John Check-Up.

There are two reasons nailing down your belief in the biblical gospel is the first and most important priority:

  1. If you’re not genuinely saved, you need to be, or you’ll die in your sins and spend an eternity in Hell. Even if you think you’re a Christian.
  2. If you’re not saved, you’re not going to understand or accept the things of Christ, and pretty much everything in Christianity and the church is going to rub you the wrong way. First Corinthians 2:14 says: The natural [unsaved] person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

2.
Find a church.

The next most important thing is getting you into a doctrinally sound church where you can be taught God’s Word properly.

For Christians, membership in and faithful attendance at a doctrinally sound church is not optional, and is non-negotiable. The Bible knows nothing of “Lone Ranger” Christians. For 2000 years, even in places of harshest persecution, like first century Rome or current day North Korea, the church has found a way to meet together, even if it had to be in secret.

And yes, this means physically attending worship service and other gatherings, not watching it on Zoom, assuming you are physically/medically able to do so and a decent church within achievable driving distance is open. (If not, you’ll have to find another way to meet together with fellow Christians.)

(Notice, I did not say, “If you’re not afraid to go,” or “a church that’s nearby”. There are Christians in the world today who, every time they meet together, are risking imprisonment, torture, and execution. And some of them travel for hours in very primitive modes of transportation just to meet with the church. Prayerfully consider, just between you and the Lord, if you might need to sacrifice your fear or drive a bit longer for the privilege of meeting with His people. Jesus didn’t promise us a bed of roses. He promised us a cross. It’s time to pick it up and carry it. This is what we signed on for.)

Go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Start your search for a church by reading all of the resources under What to look for in a church including all of the links contained in those resources.

When you’re finished with that, go back to the top of that page and use the search engines to find a good, solid church in your area. Personally, I would recommend starting with the Founders search engine first, then the The Master’s Seminary search engine, then the others.

When you’ve found a church, start visiting it. Set up an appointment with the pastor to ask any questions you might have. Prayerfully consider whether or not this church is a fit for you – a place where you can learn, grow, and serve. If it is, join it. If not, go back to the search engines and find another church to start visiting.

Helpful hint: You’re not going to find a perfect church. Churches are made up of imperfect saints who still sin and make mistakes. Find the best one you can and help make it better.

3.
Get plugged in.

Don’t just sneak in to the back of the sanctuary just as the Sunday morning worship service is starting and sneak back out during the final prayer.

Get invested in the life of your new church. Find a Sunday school / Bible study / small group class to join. Go to midweek services or prayer meeting. Go to fellowships and special events. Get to know people. Find a place to serve.

Be faithful in your attendance. Don’t just go only when you feel like it. Be there at least every Sunday morning unless you’re unavoidably detained. If you wanted to learn chemistry or math or underwater basket weaving, you’d show up for class, right? Well, if you want to learn and grow as a Christian, you’ve got to show up for church.

And if you ever have any questions, never be afraid to ask your pastor, elders, or teachers.

4.
Study up / Pray up

Bible study and prayer are crucial for the Christian. They help you grow, and they foster sweet fellowship with the Lord. Don’t let them loom as some big, scary, new thing that you don’t know how to do. They’re both very simple.

Prayer is simply talking to God. Tell Him what’s on your heart. Ask Him to help you and provide for you. Ask Him to help others. Thank Him for all He’s done for you. Confess your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you. You might find some of my articles on prayer or my Bible study on prayer to be helpful.

Studying your Bible isn’t as hard as it sounds, either. Start by making sure you have a good translation. Then, pick a book of the Bible. Start at chapter 1, verse 1, and make your way through the book, verse by verse until you get to the end. Then start over again with another book. A few tips:

  • Many Christians find that about a chapter a day is a good amount to study, but take your time and study the amount of Scripture that seems to be a fit for you.
  • You might want to have a notebook and pen handy for jotting down any notes or thoughts that occur to you about the text as you’re studying.
  • If you’re new to studying the Bible, I would recommend starting by reading one (or maybe all four) of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – the first four books of the New Testament). Genesis is also a good book to read as you’re getting your bearings in Bible study.
  • If you need help studying your Bible, click the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. There are lots of resources to help you learn how to study the Bible, plus all the Bible studies I’ve written. My studies are designed to help you learn how to study the Bible in a “learn by doing” sort of way. Maybe you’d like to work through one of them until you get the hang of studying your Bible on your own.

In addition to Bible study and prayer, I would suggest reading the articles in my Basic Training series. This is sort of a “Christianity 101” series of articles. If you’re new to Christianity and the church, this should help explain some of the things we do, why we do them, and the proper biblical way they should be done.

I would also recommend that women read my Rock Your Role series of articles. This series explains what the Bible says about the role of women in the church.

Welcome to the family, and may God richly bless you as you seek to grow in Him.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Podcast Appearances

Videocast Guest Appearance with Doreen Virtue and Melissa Dougherty: What the Bible Says About Women’s Ministry

 

What a joy it was to sit down and chat with Doreen Virtue and Melissa Dougherty recently to discuss…well, all kinds of things! From the role of women in the church to Christian women in online ministry, from yoga to the Enneagram, I think we pretty much covered it all!

I would encourage you to watch some of Doreen’s and Melissa’s other videos, and subscribe to their YouTube channelsDoreen  Melissa. You can also follow these wonderful ladies on Facebook: Doreen  Melissa, and on Twitter: Doreen  Melissa.

My articles mentioned or touched on in the interview:

Popular False Teachers and Unbiblical Trends (tab at the top of this page)

Recommended Bible Teachers (tab at the top of this page)

Searching for a new church? (tab at the top of this page)

Speaking Engagements (tab at the top of this page)

A Word Fitly Spoken Podcast (“Podcast” tab at the top of this page)

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Rock Your Role: Order in His Courts: Silencing Women? (1 Corinthians 14:33b-35)

Adam 3.0: Meanwhile, Back in the Garden, It’s Deja Vu All Over Again

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?

The Mailbag: Should women give testimonies and reports, lead prayer and worship in church?

The Enneagram

The Mailbag: Should Christians do yoga?

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objections (see #1 for info on the Matthew 18 issue)

Hillsong, Bethel/Jesus Culture, Elevation Music

The Mailbag: False Doctrine in Contemporary Christian Music

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a women’s conference or church event? Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat!

Testimony Tuesday

Testimony Tuesday: Stories from Several Sisters 5

On today’s Testimony Tuesday,
several sisters in Christ share their stories.

Tiffany’s Story

My husband and I and family were first at a word of faith/prosperity church, and thankfully God granted us and we continually prayed for wisdom and discernment. We then moved on to an AG [Assemblies of God] church and again, just like the last church, we got heavily involved. The more we read and the more we talked, we realized they weren’t on the same page as us, and it’s only been 3 weeks but we have found a Reformed Bible church. I continually pray that the people in our old church will have their eyes open and begin seeing the truth in the Word. I’m so grateful and thankful to the Father for the journey He has us on. We continually learn and teach our children.

 


Latoya’s Story

As some other women on your site have said: “Yay, women like me! Who believe in The Word! I’m not weird!”

I was born and raised in a Pentecostal church…but have REALLY been having a relationship with God for over one year now.

Thank you for teaching me what a Godly, Bible-based church looks like. . .

One particular article spoke of expository versus topical sermons. I am reading though the Bible (for the first time ever) since last summer. Wow! I can’t say enough of how awesome The Word is! It’s my favorite thing to do: study His Word! Anyway, that article spoke to me. I thought: I’ve never been under an expository preacher, but it sounds amazing! So, out of curiosity (..and because I do feel led to be at another church…although I do not know where yet) I looked under the “searching for a new church?” tab. I found a church one hour away. The sermons are listed. Each Sunday they take a handful of verses in order from each chapter. ((Jumping up and down that this even exists!)). I never knew.

 


Christine’s Story

I grew up as a Catholic. I prayed to God but didn’t understand anything of the Bible or the significance of why Jesus had to die. I attended “church” weekly growing up, but knew nothing of the Bible. I lived a life with no clarity in why I needed a Savior and like so many, thought I was a pretty good person, so I would be fine. In the meantime, I met my husband in college. He also grew up Catholic and led a similar life of sin and confusion. Just before we got engaged, my husband was saved at a Christian service that I did not attend. We got married and continued to go to Catholic service while he was growing in his faith.

My husband then led us to a non-denomination church, which I reluctantly attended. They shared the Gospel regularly and taught from the Bible. It wasn’t until years later, after we had two boys and after my dad passed, that I was saved. It took several years of me hearing the Gospel before I truly accepted Christ and repented of my sins. I am beyond grateful for what Jesus did for me, opening my eyes to His Truth and saving me from my sin. I am also so thankful he saved my husband years earlier before I even realized what that meant. My husband and I have become passionate creationists and are looking forward to an upcoming trip with our boys to the Creation Museum and Ark in Kentucky! Although we continue to be sinners, I hope I can continue to live my life glorifying God and sharing the Gospel of what Jesus did for us, dying on the cross to save us from our sins and reconciling us back to our perfect God.

 


Michele’s Story

When my husband and I moved to a new city 13 years ago, we spent almost a year searching for a new church. We settled in a church that seemed to affirm the authority of Scripture while honoring the freedom we have in Christ. We attended faithfully and served in many different capacities. This past year, as we have grown in our knowledge and love of the Bible as well as in biblical discernment, we have realized we were in a purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive church.

We met with the pastor and associate pastor many times, but they were defensive and unhearing. After many months of continuing to serve, to cope, to adapt, we knew we had to leave.

I almost dreaded to process of finding a new church. In our small town, there didn’t seem to be many (if ANY!) realistic options, and I just didn’t want to church shop. I longed to be planted quickly into a fellowship of like-minded believers. I prayed, “You know my desires, Lord, but Your will be done.”

I clicked on your “searching for a new church” tab and scrolled through the items. There were few suggested churches for [my state], and none for our city. Then I clicked on “churches recommended by my readers” and saw the one listing for our area.

I would like to say that it was love at first visit! However, I had been so pampered and pandered to that I didn’t have much patience for the longer service and deep, expositional preaching. However, I was encouraged by the Lord to persist. Our first visit was in April and earlier this month we became members.

I am so very grateful to the Lord for directing us to this precious little church and to your resources. I mean, really.

 


Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His Word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Your testimony can be as brief as a few sentences or as long as 1500 words. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!