Mailbag – Page 28 – Michelle Lesley

A family member and I had a falling out…

I’m unequally yoked in my marriage…

We’ve got this situation with my husband’s ex-wife…

My adult child lives with us and has broken the law…

…what do I do? How do I handle all of this?

I hurt for so many of y’all facing difficult situations out there. Detailed situations. Complicated situations. Situations you desperately need some help with.

Situations I get emails and comments about that I deeply want to help you with, but I can’t, because it would be unbiblical and irresponsible of me to try to do so.

It would be irresponsible, because I don’t know you. I don’t know the situation or the other people involved. I don’t know the laws in your area. And, although I’m sure you’re all truthful when you write to me, I’m only getting your side of the story, so I’m not getting a complete picture of what’s going on. I could give you advice that might inadvertently prove wrong or harmful.

The first to plead his case seems right,
Until another comes and examines him.
Proverbs 18:17

It would also be irresponsible to my family, because my primary duty is to serve them. If I tried to spend as much time as it would take to properly counsel everyone who asks me to, I would be neglecting my family.

It would be unbiblical because there’s no “stranger thousands of miles away on the internet” role for me in the framework God has set up for Christianity. God’s framework for Christianity is the local church, and in that framework, if you need counsel, the person God has designated to be your first point of contact in most situations is your pastor, an elder, or a spiritually mature brother or sister in Christ.

Not only would it be wrong for me to try to usurp one of those positions, it would be robbing your church of the opportunity to shepherd and disciple you one on one, face to face, for the long haul. And it would be robbing you of the joy and blessings of being ministered to by your church family. When you and your church walk through a situation like this together, it strengthens your bond, grows all of you, and increases your joy in one another.

But I don’t have a church. I promise I’m not trying to pile on here, but I need to take this opportunity to drive home to everybody who’s reading this who has been lackadaisical or defiant* about finding a church: this is one of the reasons you need to find, join, and get plugged in to a good church. This is one of the reasons Scripture tells us that, for Christians, church is not optional and non-negotiable. That we’re to meet together more as the Day draws near, not less.

*”Lackadaisical or defiant” means lackadaisical or defiant. It does not mean, “I’ve been praying and trying really hard to find a good church, but I haven’t found one yet.”

Furthermore, being faithful to a local body can sometimes help prevent certain situations from happening in the first place because you’re getting good, biblical instruction, “training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age”. (Titus 2:12)

If you’re not currently a member of a church (or you are and you’ve stopped attending), you need to make that right immediately. Disobeying God’s command for us to gather isn’t going to help your situation, and obeying it can do nothing but help.

If you’re not sure where to look for a solid church, start praying fervently for God to lead you to one. Then go to the blue menu bar at the top of this page, click on Searching for a new church?, and start by reading the materials in the “What to look for in a church” section.

But I’m hanging in there, trying to effect / waiting for change at a church that’s operating unbiblically and I don’t trust my pastor to give me biblical counsel. Believe me, I know from first hand experience exactly what that’s like.

(I also know that many readers’ knee jerk reaction will be, “Well, you need to get out of there and find a different church.” I get that, and in many cases that’s the right answer. But in other cases it’s not. There are lots of different reasons why someone might choose to weather a temporary storm at her church, and immediately bailing out isn’t always the godly answer.)

What about your Sunday School or Bible study teacher? A spiritually mature friend who’s also hanging in there? An older lady in the church? Think about it and pray for God to lead you to the right person who can help.

If you can’t find someone in your own church, what about a godly friend who goes to another (doctrinally sound) church? Talk things over with her. If she feels like your situation is outside her wheelhouse, perhaps she would be willing to introduce you to her pastor and he would be willing to counsel you. You could even “cold call” a pastor at a doctrinally sound church in your area and see if he counsels “walk-ins” who are members of other churches. It never hurts to ask.

If all else fails, see if there’s a church in your area that has an ACBC certified Biblical Counselor (this is not the same thing as a “Christian counselor/therapist”) available for counseling, or explore my Biblical Counseling resource in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

But there isn’t a doctrinally sound church in my area. I know that for a few of you, this is true. You live in a remote area where there are no churches. Or, everything close by is Catholic, or NAR, or progressive, and the nearest semblance of a doctrinally sound church is five hours away. You’re willing to make sacrifices to attend church, but there just isn’t one to attend.

But I also know that for some, what this means is, “My ideal church isn’t located within a 15 minute drive of me.”

I’ve addressed these scenarios in detail in some of the links above, so, long story short: check every single church search engine at the Searching for a new church? tab to make sure you haven’t overlooked a good church within achievable driving distance, move, or look into church planting. And, above all, pray that God would provide you with a good church.

But for the purposes of this article, if there isn’t a doctrinally sound church in your area, many of the same suggestions above will apply: talk to a godly friend, Zoom with a solid pastor friend in another area, or visit my Biblical Counseling tab (linked above).

But couldn’t you just recommend a book for me to read that addresses what I’m going through? No, I probably can’t, primarily for the very simple reason that there are thousands of books out there on zillions of topics, and I haven’t read them all. And if I haven’t read a particular book, I don’t know if it’s doctrinally sound, and I don’t know if it adequately addresses your issue.

Additionally, while good books can be somewhat helpful in a general, “one size fits all” sort of way, no book is going to address all the specifics of your particular situation. But a one on one, ongoing counseling or discipleship relationship with your pastor or a godly older sister at church can.

Let’s (I’ve been guilty of this too) be careful not to fall into the subtle mindset of, “If I could just find the right book, it’ll be the magic bullet to solve my problem.” I can practically guarantee you, it won’t.

All of that being said, if your pastor recommends a certain (doctrinally sound) book while he’s counseling you, by all means, read it. If the friend you’re talking things over with says, “This book really helped me a lot in when I was in your situation,” go for it. As you’re pursuing one on one, face to face counsel in the context of your local church, go ahead and read up (I’d recommend anything from Grace to You, Ligonier, or anything written by the folks at the Recommended Bible Teachers tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.)

I’m not saying good books aren’t helpful. I’m just saying books alone aren’t a substitute for godly counsel from real, flesh and blood brothers and sisters in Christ. (See my article: You Don’t Need *A* Book, You Need *THE* Book)

Life can be hard and painful sometimes. God knew it would be, and He knows the best way to help us. That’s why He gave us the church.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: God saved me out of a false “church” … what do I do now?

May 10, 2021May 18, 2026 Michelle Lesley

God recently saved me out of __________ “church” / religion. I’m not sure what to do next. I’m scared to start looking for a new church because I don’t know what to look for in a good church, and I’m afraid I’ll choose another bad one. And how do I “do” this whole Christianity thing, anyway?

I’ve received some variant of this question dozens of times, and it makes me so happy every time I do. God is still saving people, y’all! Doesn’t that thought just encourage your socks off and fill you with joy?

Whether it’s someone coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, Mormonism, Catholicism, a liberal/progressive “church,” or the New Age, walking through the doors of biblical Christianity is thrilling, but can also be a bit daunting.

As someone who has been in church since my parents brought me home from the hospital, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around being new to the church and the things of Christ as an adult. It must be like landing on Mars, or at least in a foreign country where you don’t know the customs and don’t really speak the language.

When you’re doing something new, it’s always best to start by reading the directions. So here are a few basic directions that might be of help to you if you find yourself newly saved out of an unbiblical system and you’re not quite sure what to do next:

1.
Believe the biblical gospel.

The first priority is making sure you understand and believe the biblical gospel. I know you’re saying you’re saved, but, considering your background and my limited knowledge of where you are spiritually, and considering the fact that sooooo many churches and professing Christians do not know or rightly teach the gospel according to Scripture, I’m not sure what you’ve been told about how to be saved, or “become a Jesus follower,” or however it was put to you, but click here for the truth:

What must I do to be saved?

I strongly urge you – even if you’re 100% positive you’re saved – to take your time and slowly and prayerfully work your way through everything on this page to make sure you understand and believe what the Bible says about how to be saved.

Once you’ve done that, if you still need some reassurance that you’re saved, you might want to work your way through my Bible study Am I Really Saved?: A First John Check-Up.

There are two reasons nailing down your belief in the biblical gospel is the first and most important priority:

If you’re not genuinely saved, you need to be, or you’ll die in your sins and spend an eternity in Hell. Even if you think you’re a Christian.
If you’re not saved, you’re not going to understand or accept the things of Christ, and pretty much everything in Christianity and the church is going to rub you the wrong way. First Corinthians 2:14 says: The natural [unsaved] person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

2.
Find a church.

The next most important thing is getting you into a doctrinally sound church where you can be taught God’s Word properly.

For Christians, membership in and faithful attendance at a doctrinally sound church is not optional, and is non-negotiable. The Bible knows nothing of “Lone Ranger” Christians. For 2000 years, even in places of harshest persecution, like first century Rome or current day North Korea, the church has found a way to meet together, even if it had to be in secret.

And yes, this means physically attending worship service and other gatherings (not watching it online), assuming you are physically/medically able to do so, and a decent church within achievable driving distance is open. (If not, you’ll have to find another way to meet together with fellow Christians.)

(Notice, I did not say, “If you’re not afraid to go,” or “a church that’s nearby”. There are Christians in the world today who, every time they meet together, are risking imprisonment, torture, and execution. And some of them travel for hours in very primitive modes of transportation just to meet with the church. Prayerfully consider, just between you and the Lord, if you might need to sacrifice your fear or drive a bit longer for the privilege of meeting with His people. Jesus didn’t promise us a bed of roses. He promised us a cross. It’s time to pick it up and carry it. This is what we signed on for.)

Go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Start your search for a church by reading all of the resources under What to look for in a church including all of the links contained in those resources.

When you’re finished with that, go back to the top of that page and use the search engines to find a good, solid church in your area. Personally, I would recommend starting with the Founders search engine first, then the The Master’s Seminary search engine, then the others.

When you’ve found a church, start visiting it. Set up an appointment with the pastor to ask any questions you might have. Prayerfully consider whether or not this church is a fit for you – a place where you can learn, grow, and serve. If it is, join it. If not, go back to the search engines and find another church to start visiting.

Helpful hint: You’re not going to find a perfect church. Churches are made up of imperfect saints who still sin and make mistakes. Find the best one you can and help make it better.

3.
Get plugged in.

Don’t just sneak in to the back of the sanctuary just as the Sunday morning worship service is starting and sneak back out during the final prayer.

Get invested in the life of your new church. Find a Sunday school / Bible study / small group class to join. Go to midweek services or prayer meeting. Go to fellowships and special events. Get to know people. Find a place to serve.

Be faithful in your attendance. Don’t just go only when you feel like it. Be there at least every Sunday morning unless you’re unavoidably detained. If you wanted to learn chemistry or math or underwater basket weaving, you’d show up for class, right? Well, if you want to learn and grow as a Christian, you’ve got to show up for church.

And if you ever have any questions, never be afraid to ask your pastor, elders, or teachers.

4.
Study up / Pray up

Bible study and prayer are crucial for the Christian. They help you grow, and they foster sweet fellowship with the Lord. Don’t let them loom as some big, scary, new thing that you don’t know how to do. They’re both very simple.

Prayer is simply talking to God. Tell Him what’s on your heart. Ask Him to help you and provide for you. Ask Him to help others. Thank Him for all He’s done for you. Confess your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you. You might find some of my articles on prayer or my Bible study on prayer to be helpful.

Studying your Bible isn’t as hard as it sounds, either. Start by making sure you have a good translation. Then, pick a book of the Bible. Start at chapter 1, verse 1, and make your way through the book, verse by verse until you get to the end. Then start over again with another book. A few tips:

Many Christians find that about a chapter a day is a good amount to study, but take your time and study the amount of Scripture that seems to be a fit for you.
You might want to have a notebook and pen handy for jotting down any notes or thoughts that occur to you about the text as you’re studying.
If you’re new to studying the Bible, I would recommend starting by reading one (or maybe all four) of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – the first four books of the New Testament). Genesis is also a good book to read as you’re getting your bearings in Bible study.
If you need help studying your Bible, click the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. There are lots of resources to help you learn how to study the Bible, plus all the Bible studies I’ve written. My studies are designed to help you learn how to study the Bible in a “learn by doing” sort of way. Maybe you’d like to work through one of them until you get the hang of studying your Bible on your own.

In addition to Bible study and prayer, I would suggest reading the articles in my Basic Training series. This is sort of a “Christianity 101” series of articles. If you’re new to Christianity and the church, this should help explain some of the things we do, why we do them, and the proper biblical way they should be done.

I would also recommend that women read my Rock Your Role series of articles. This series explains what the Bible says about the role of women in the church.

Welcome to the family, and may God richly bless you as you seek to grow in Him.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Kids’ devotionals, The Chosen- Season 2, Methodist apostasy)

April 19, 2021May 4, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Just found out that Sarah Young is a false teacher. My kids were doing a Jesus Calling one year long devotional book, so now I’m scrambling to find a new one that is Biblically sound! Any recommendations on writers/teachers that have written devotions for children? They are 4, 9, and 11.

Good for you for finding out about Sarah Young and protecting your kids from her false teaching! That’s awesome!

I don’t recommend what I call “canned” (books, workbooks, DVDs, etc.) Bible studies and devotionals. I recommend that women study, and teach their kids (or other women or children), straight from the text of Scripture itself. And you’ve just experienced in real life the number one reason why I have adopted this policy. The majority of “Bible” study/devotional materials out there – especially the ones aimed at women and children – are written by false teachers.

Here’s how I handled this situation with my kids. Maybe it would be something you’d want to try:

I homeschooled my kids, and every morning before we started school, I would lead them in a brief time of Bible reading. We would pick a book of the Bible, and I would read them about a chapter out of it, asking age appropriate questions along the way. Proverbs or one of the gospels might be easiest to start with.

Here are some examples of questions you might want to ask as you read together:

Who is this passage about?
What is the main idea of this passage?
Why did God – the author of the Bible Who says all Scripture is useful – put this passage in the Bible?
What can I learn about God from this passage?
Is this passage telling me to do/not to do something? How can I obey it?
Is there something in this passage I need to pray about?

If you’re still a little nervous to “fly solo” just yet, you could also look through the Bible studies I’ve written and work through one or two of them with your kids, simplifying the questions for them. You’ll get the hang of it in no time, and soon you won’t need them any more.

When you use this approach of teaching directly from the Bible, you’re not only avoiding false teachers, you’re also training your kids to study straight from Scripture themselves, and how to do so, so they’ll learn how to have their own private Bible study time.

I know it might feel a little daunting at first if you’ve never done it this way before, but think of it this way: you can’t possibly do any worse than Sarah Young. :0)

Additional Resources:

The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?

The Mailbag: Potpourri (NBCS, Homeschool resources, Piper…) (section 3)

I noticed that season 2 of The Chosen recently premiered. What do you think of it? Should I watch?

This section contains a minor spoiler.

Last year, when season 1 of The Chosen – an online “TV” series on the ministry of Jesus – premiered, I wrote a detailed review of each of the eight episodes, which you can read in my article The Mailbag: Overview/Review of “The Chosen” (An Online TV Series on the Ministry of Jesus). This article also includes background on creator/director Dallas Jenkins and some theological issues with him.

I’ve watched the first three episodes of season 2 (the only episodes which have been released as of today) and, so far, it seems like the same basic issues (good and bad) from season 1 are at play, so, at the moment, I’m not planning to write a review of season 2.

I didn’t watch episodes 1-3 of season 2 quite as carefully as I watched all of season 1, but again, nothing grossly heretical jumped out at me. I’m disappointed to see that they’ve doubled down on elevating Jesus’ women followers to the same level as the Twelve by adding an additional female “disciple”.

My thoughts? Read my review of season 1 and take all the same information and caveats to heart when deciding whether or not to watch season 2.

Is the Methodist church now considered a false church because they allow women as pastors?

Methodists, like Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, etc., come in a variety of “flavors”. There’s the United Methodist Church, the African Methodist Episcopal Church, the Free Methodists, and a bunch of others. The United Methodist Church (UMC) is the largest Methodist denomination in the U.S., and I think that’s the one you’re probably talking about.

The UMC started ordaining women to the pastorate in 1956, so that’s nothing new. So, yes, as a denomination, it was and is sinful for them to initiate and maintain that policy. And that’s one of the reasons I don’t add UMC churches to my list of reader recommended churches.

But there are other, higher order theological issues with the UMC that would cause me to warn people away from it way before women pastors. They are Arminian. They believe genuinely saved Christians can lose their salvation. They believe in prevenient grace, sinless perfection, evolution, and they are pro-abortion (per UMC policy). They are also very involved in social issues and take the liberal (unbiblical) side on most of those. Currently, the UMC is on the verge of a split over homosexual “marriage” and clergy.

All of this to say, the UMC is apostate over a ton of theological issues. Women preaching is only one of them, and not necessarily even the most important one.

If you’d like to do more research on Methodists and what they believe (including further details on their beliefs mentioned above) check out the resources here and here.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Salvation and the Mentally Challenged

March 29, 2021April 15, 2024 Michelle Lesley

I have a question about people who have “simple minds”. Those who have a lack of comprehension or are slow thinkers. My son is trying to understand salvation but he is slower in thinking than others. He has learning disabilities that keep him a few years behind others his age. I’m learning to not fear and to trust Christ with his salvation but I’m wondering how I can know he is saved or what God’s word says of those with simple minds.

I think you’ve answered your own question with some very godly wisdom: don’t fear, and trust Christ with your son’s salvation. Don’t discount that wisdom God has given you, because, ultimately, that is your answer. Once we’ve shared the gospel, that’s really all any of us can do regarding the spiritual state of any friend or loved one regardless of mental capacity: Fear not. Trust Christ.

How can you know he’s saved with 100% certainty? You can’t. Just like none of us can know that another person is saved, because we can’t see that person’s heart. The only person I can know is saved, without a shadow of a doubt, is me.

If you’re married, have you and your husband discussed all of this thoroughly? If he is a Believer, he probably has some helpful insights and perspectives to offer. And, do remember, he is the spiritual leader of your home.

I would encourage you (and your husband, if you’re married) to set up an appointment with your pastor – with or without your son, depending on what your pastor suggests – to talk things out and get his wise counsel on the best ways to keep the gospel in front of your son’s eyes.

In the meantime, keep praying for – and with – your son (and that God will help you entrust your son to Him), keep teaching him the Bible, and keep taking him to church. Remember, you are only responsible for pouring the gospel into your son. It’s God’s responsibility to take what you’ve shared and do something with it in your son’s heart.

The Bible doesn’t, as far as I can recall, speak specifically to the cognitive capacity for faith of people who have “simple minds”. Some readers have probably already called to mind the childlike faith passages in the gospels, but Jesus was speaking to the quality of our faith in these passages, not to childlike cognition.

But do keep your mind on Scripture. When you’re tempted to worry, remember who God is. Remember His nature and character:

This is a God who doesn’t even take pleasure in the death of the wicked. A God who patiently bore with Israel’s sin and idolatry for centuries before executing judgment on them. A God who loved sinners so much that He sacrificed His only Son for us while we were still His enemies. A God who describes Himself as being rich in mercy. A God we see throughout Scripture caring for “the least of these” – Hagar, Mephibosheth, Bartimaeus, widows and orphans, the blind, the deaf, the crippled, the leper, the outcast.

Is this a God who would flippantly or casually damn your son to an eternity in Hell based solely on his cognitive disabilities? Does that seem to be in keeping with His nature and character?

Also remember God as Creator. God specially crafted your son the way he is in His image and for His glory just like everyone else He created. Your son’s disabilities are not a mistake or an oversight on God’s part. They are meant to bring glory to Him. Neither you nor he may fully understand how on this side of Heaven, but God does, and that’s all that matters.

And as the One who designed your son’s mind, there is no one who understands how it works, how it comprehends things, better than God does. The Holy Spirit knows how to take that gospel you’ve imparted to your son and explain it to his heart and mind in the absolute best way for your son. A way that’s specially designed uniquely for him by his Creator. Consider these passages as you think about that:

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:13-14

But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”
Exodus 4:10-12

Finally remember that God knows your son’s heart and as the just judge of all the universe – Whom we’ve already established is rich in mercy – the only decision God can make regarding your son’s salvation and eternity is the right decision, whatever that might be. God knows the capabilities of your son’s heart and mind better than anyone. He knows whether your son is believing on Christ in his heart or rebelliously rejecting Christ in his heart.

For the Lord sees not as man sees:
man looks on the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1Samuel16:7b

I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds.
Jeremiah 17:10

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139:23-24

As moms, we often desperately want to find a way to make the “decision” for our children to place their faith in Christ for salvation because we love them and we know that’s what’s best for them. But we can’t. I can’t do it for my child any more than you can do it for your child, disability or no disability. That is between your child and Christ only.

And that brings us full circle to the answer God has already given you:

Don’t fear. Trust Christ with your son’s salvation

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Asked and Answered

March 22, 2021March 20, 2021 Michelle Lesley

Good Monday morning, readers. It is an honor and a joy to serve you in Christ. Welcome to all the newbies and to you seasoned veterans of the blog.

Because some of y’all are new, you aren’t yet aware of all of the resources here to help you. Or maybe you’ve been around a while and haven’t noticed something that might be helpful. Let’s remedy that!

First, if you’re new (or if you’ve never read it), check out Blog Orientation for New Readers and Old Friends. It’s like a Cliffs Notes intro to the blog.

Second, be sure to familiarize yourself with all of the tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of the page. That’s where I keep the info I’m most frequently asked about.

Third, there’s a search bar at the bottom of every page (and one in the blue menu bar at the top of every page) which might help you find what you need.

Fourth, if you don’t find your question answered in one of these ways or below, you might want to check previous Asked & Answered articles and The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs.

And finally, let me get you new readers some answers to the questions several of you have asked. Some of you long time friends may have missed these along the way, so I hope they’ll be helpful to you, too!

What are your thoughts on TGC’s 2021 Women’s Conference? Should the ladies from my church attend / watch online?

I’m throwing this question in with this Asked & Answered article because it’s coming up soon and because, though I haven’t answered it in article form, I’ve been asked and have answered multiple times on social media. This is the first year women have been asking me whether or not they should attend, and I think that should give us all pause.

I am recommending against attending or viewing TGC’s (The Gospel Coalition) women’s conference for two reasons:

The two headline speakers this year are Jackie Hill-Perry and Jen Wilkin, neither of whom I would recommend. (Reformed / Calvinistic churches, I know a lot of y’all have parked your women’s Bible study classes exclusively on Jen Wilkin because you think she’s “safe,” but it’s time to take another look. Read the article linked to her name above.)
For the last several years, TGC has been moving more and more into the woke / social justice stream of evangelicalism. I’m not saying every single speaker at this year’s women’s conference is woke or into social justice, I’m just saying that’s the way the organization has been headed, so it would not be surprising if that kind of thing is espoused at the conference.

(And, not for nothing, but my goodness is it expensive!)

The Lord has graciously opened my eyes to the fact that I was following several false teachers. Unfortunately, I have accumulated a large number of their books over the years. My question is what do I do with them now? Do I donate them? I was thinking of donating them to the MOPS ministry at my church.

Oh no, please don’t donate them to anyone. Check out section 3 of my article The Mailbag: Potpourri (Soul Ties, SBC Communion, Women in children’s ministry, Heretical book disposal) for some much better ways they can be put to use.

Amy and I also covered this question in our most recent episode of A Word Fitly Spoken.

(Also, if your church is hosting a MOPS group, your pastor needs to know that there are serious biblical problems with some in MOPS leadership and with their books/materials.)

A lot of unbiblical things are happening at our church, but my husband seems oblivious. I want to leave and find a doctrinally sound church, but my husband wants to stay. What should I do?

I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Sadly, I’ve received this question numerous times. Please see my article The Mailbag: My husband wants to stay at an unbiblical church.

And can I just say to all spouses – husbands and wives (because I’ve gotten this same question from husbands too) – if your spouse lovingly comes to you, Bible in hand, and says, “I’ve got some serious biblical issues with our church,” listen. Talk about it together. Pray about it.

And if the only reasons you’re insisting on staying at the old church are non-biblical issues like friends, fun, you’ve been there forty years and you’re comfortable, the preaching and the music are pleasant enough, you don’t want to start over meeting new people at a new church, it’s close to home, etc., can I encourage you to give some serious thought to dying to self and trying to find a new church your spouse won’t be miserable in?

If you insist – for superficial reasons – on staying somewhere your spouse – for good biblical reasons – is so uncomfortable in, you’re being selfish. Wives who do this aren’t submitting to their husbands’ spiritual leadership. Husbands who do this aren’t loving their wives or leading them in a God-honoring way. Love your spouse and put him or her first.

I’m writing you in regards to your stance on the prohibition of women teaching men in reference to 1 Timothy 2 and did not find an adequate rebuttal in your FAQ document linked in several places on your website. I must respectfully disagree and gently request your consideration of the contextual and cultural cues of the time and in that specific circumstance in which it was written.

My stance on 1 Timothy 2 is to believe, obey, and teach obedience to plain, black and white, rightly handled Scripture. Women are prohibited from holding the office of pastor or elder, preaching to men, instructing men in the Scriptures, or exercising authority over men in the gathering of the church body because the Bible says so and means so, not because people are misinterpreting the Bible based on failing to understand the culture of Ephesus at the time.

First Timothy 2:11-3:7 does not say what it says because the Ephesian women were ignorant or disruptive or false teachers. It is a pastoral epistle, which means it is basically a “policy and procedure manual” for the local church – everywhere in the world at every point in history. The church has not been getting this wrong for 2000 years and, suddenly, we enlightened folk in 21st century Western culture are going to come along and set things straight.

This article should help: The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism (and for readers not yet acquainted with what the Bible teaches about the biblical roles of men and women, I would encourage you to start by reading the articles linked in the “Additional Resources” section of that article).

Could you please review John Piper?

Certainly:

The Mailbag: Celebrity Christian Hot Takes (Driscoll, Graham, Groeschel, Lewis, Lucado, Piper, Vallotton)

I am looking for a new Bible. I was looking into the She Reads Truth Bible until I saw your article about the authors being associated with known false teachers. I am looking into The Jesus Bible and maybe the (In)Courage Bible but wanted to know your input on this. I really like the resources like maps, reading plans, and book intros in the SRT Bible. Do you have input on a good Bible with room to take notes and similar resources? Does one exist that doesn’t have input from those who follow false doctrine?

Yes, but The Jesus Bible (Louie Giglio and Max Lucado) and the (in)Courage Bible (Ann Voskamp, Chrystal Evans Hurst, Lauren Chandler, etc.) aren’t it. I would also not recommend the ESV Women’s Study Bible.

If you’re looking for a good study Bible you can’t do better than the MacArthur Study Bible. I also highly recommend the Faithlife Study Bible app (which is free). I’ve discussed both a little more (with links) here. If you have to compromise on something for a good study Bible, compromise on taking notes in the Bible. You can always get a separate journal or notebook for taking notes.

I want to get baptized. Who is allowed to baptize? Can a woman baptize? Does the person have to believe in the same basic doctrines as I do (e.g. women shouldn’t preach to men or be leaders in church, homosexuality is a sin, you must believe in the full gospel to be saved etc.)?

I’m so glad you want to get baptized. Everyone who has confessed Christ as Savior should be baptized. I think my article Basic Training: Baptism will answer a lot of your questions (don’t forget the Additional Resources section at the end).

You may be able to infer the answer to your last question from the article, but in case you need a little clarity: Yes, you and the person baptizing you should be pretty much in agreement on doctrinal issues. Not because that’s what qualifies someone to baptize, but because baptism is an ordinance of the church, normally performed by the pastor or an elder of that church, and you should be baptized into a doctrinally sound church whose doctrine you agree with.

My question is about women correcting or pointing out a false belief of Scripture or interpretation to men. Am I as a woman allowed to correct or advise a Christian brother if he is teaching/preaching or spreading something that’s not Biblically sound or correct?

Yes, with a couple of provisos.

First, since you mentioned you’re a new Christian, you need to be sure you are correct about what the Bible says on the issue and that he is definitely wrong. Study your Bible hard, see what doctrinally sound pastors and Christians you trust have to say about the issue, etc. As Davy Crockett once said, “Be always sure you are right, then go ahead.”

Next, be sure you keep the “golden rule” foremost in your mind. If someone had to approach you and tell you that you were wrong about something, how would you want to be approached? Treat the other person with the same love and care.

If possible, take the person aside privately to explain his error, maybe with another friend to support you. We have a great example of this in Acts 18 with Priscilla, Aquila, and Apollos.

If it’s in a group setting, such as a Bible study class, in which it’s not possible to wait until later to speak to the teacher alone about the false doctrine he has just taught, I’ve addressed that in #5 in my article Rock Your Role FAQs.