Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Do they know they’re heretics? … Removing Allie … Confirmation invitation?)

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.


I am wondering, do people who fit the definition of heretic know they are wrong? Are they consciously rejecting the gospel or genuinely confused / misinterpreting it?

Great question! In my experience, false teachers fall into one of two categories:

1. Con artists who know the whole false teaching universe is a sham, but they’ve observed how much money can be made off the grift and want a piece of the pie, so they feign believing and teaching false doctrine in order to scam people out of their money. They’re no different from people who run pyramid schemes or fake land deals to cheat people. Think Elmer Gantry. These folks are a tiny – I mean, microscopic – segment of those we would call false teachers.

2. Nearly all heretics and false teachers would fall into the second category- the deceived deceivers.

But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

2 Timothy 3:13

with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may give them repentance leading to the full knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.

2 Timothy 2:25-26

They are deceived into believing that what they’re teaching is the truth and that discerning Christians who rebuke them are “legalistic” or “Pharisees” or “putting God in a box” or some such nonsense.

The people you describe as “genuinely confused / misinterpreting it,” are not in the category of “false teacher”. They are in the category of “genuine Christian in need of discipleship,” much like Apollos. He was teaching what, as far as he knew, was the truth of the gospel. When Priscilla and Aquila took him aside and corrected him, he embraced that correction, began teaching the gospel correctly, and was sent out with joy by the church to continue teaching.


Why did you remove Allie Beth Stuckey from your Recommended Bible Teachers, Authors, etc. list?

Please believe me when I say I didn’t want to, and I waited longer to remove her, and extended more grace and benefit of the doubt to her than anyone else I’ve ever removed (which, praise God, has only been a handful of people). But in fairness to others I’ve removed, to avoid being hypocritical, and out of concern for my followers, I had no choice.

I have been listening to Allie’s podcast, Relatable, for about five years now. I have always thought she did a wonderful job of discussing political issues from a biblical worldview, and explaining these issues in a way that puts them on the bottom shelf for people like me who don’t keep up or don’t get it. That was why I initially started listening.

As her show became increasingly theological in nature, a few things occasionally gave me pause, but nothing that couldn’t be quickly overlooked with love for someone who is generally doctrinally sound.

But then there were the interviews with professing Christians who are biblically problematic. I do want to stress that the vast majority of professing Christians Allie interviewed through the end of 2024 (the last time I listened to an episode) were solid and doctrinally sound. I also want to make clear that I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a Christian host of a Christian podcast to interview lost people (who don’t profess to be Christians) when the topic warrants that. And that is par for the course when your primary field is politics. Neither of these are the interviews I’m referring to.

The interviews I’m talking about have been interviews with professing Christians who have ranged from problematic to literal heretic, and who have shared their testimonies or offered commentary on theological issues. Allie has not had them on the show to challenge their unbiblical beliefs, teachings, or actions, but to present them as acceptable teachers and/or brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Robertsons- Allie has interviewed various members of the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty fame. The Robertsons’ church (where Phil and Al are elders), is part of the Church of Christ denomination, which teaches baptismal regeneration. Baptismal regeneration, in a nutshell, is the belief that you must be baptized in order to be saved – that salvation does not take place until you have been baptized. This is a false gospel.

And yet, Allie has platformed Phil, Al, Willie, and Jase Robertson on the show in episode 1145, Jase and Al Give an Update on Phil Robertsonโ€™s Tragic Diagnosesepisode 592, Sharing the Gospel with Trump, and episode 1009, Confidently Sharing the Gospel, all of which were largely about evangelism. You don’t invite people on your show who believe and teach a false gospel1 to get their insights about sharing the gospel.

In April of 2024, Allie interviewed Tara-Leigh Cobble, in The Bible Isnโ€™t About You | Guest: Tara-Leigh Cobble | Ep 993, and despite being provided with information about why Tara-Leigh is biblically problematic

…recommended her again in this January 2025 Instagram post:

Then there was Is ‘The Chosen’ Biblical? | Guest: Dallas Jenkins | Ep 726. The obvious answer to any doctrinally sound Christian who has watched or researched The Chosen is, “Absolutely not!”. But it seemed as though perhaps Allie was not very familiar with The Chosen, and the interview mostly consisted of softball questions, which had the (unintended, I’m sure) effect of giving Dallas Jenkins not only a pass on the blasphemy he’s responsible for, both on screen and off, but further opportunity to deceptively claim to a large audience that said blasphemies are actually biblical. (Commendably, however, Allie did make very clear that Mormonism is not Christianity, when that issue arose during the interview.)

I have also had readers ask me to address the fact that Candace Cameron Bure has been a guest on Relatable and was featured at Allie’s Share the Arrows conference for Christian women in 2024. Candace is someone who has flown under my radar because she’s not really a teacher, per se, she’s an actress, but she does share and promote a lot of false teachers on Instagram and her podcast (e.g. Gather25, she had Priscilla Shirer co-host the entire eighth season of her podcast, Jennie Allen, the entire sixth season, Bianca Olthoffseason 4, and Tara-Leigh Cobbleseason 1), and if she’s being platformed (by Allie or anyone else) as someone to listen to about Christian issues, this is extremely problematic.

But the interview that finally forced me to remove Allie from my recommends was in December of 2024 when she had Lisa Bevere on the show, not only introducing her as “a sister in Christ,” but promoting her new book.

Allie also appeared with Lisa on pro-life org Live Action’s podcast, The Lies Women Face | Exclusives with Lisa Bevere & Allie Beth Stuckey.

And, as far as I know, Allie is still scheduled to appear with Lisa again in June 2025 at Live Action’s Women’s Summit.

Lisa Bevere is a literal heretic. She and her husband John teach New Apostolic Reformation heresy, and are well known speakers and celebrities in the NAR world. This is not hard to find out. It takes only a few minutes and a search engine. You can read more about the Beveres in my article about them.

Allie and I have exchanged a handful of DMs in the past, so I reached out to her twice after the episode posted but didn’t receive a response (which is understandable since I’m sure she probably receives hundreds of messages a day). When she posted about the episode on Facebook, she received well over a hundred comments, all but a few of them reproving her for platforming Lisa.

I continued listening to Relatable, hoping that, even though it wouldn’t be easy, Allie would offer some sort of retraction, warning her listeners away from Lisa and her heretical teaching, but none was forthcoming.

Several weeks ago, I reached out to Allie again, including the link to my article about the Beveres and encouraging her to publicly retract her support of Lisa. This time, Allie graciously and kindly thanked me and said she would read the article. I have reached out to her twice since then to ask her thoughts, but haven’t heard back from her yet. I’m sure she’s just very busy and will get to it when she can.

To date, as far as I know, Allie has not publicly repented for and retracted her promotion of Lisa, and, as you can see above, the episode with Lisa has not been removed from her YouTube channel.

These are the reasons I’ve removed Allie from my list of recommended teachers and authors.2

UPDATE (May 2025): Since the publication of this article just two months ago, I’ve become aware of two additional serious instances of Allie’s lack of discernment:

1. Allie is scheduled to be a featured speaker at Gabe and Rebekah Lyons‘ Thinq Summit conference (formerly Q Conference/Q-ideas). The Lyonses are extremely progressive (liberal) in their theology. They’re egalitarian, affirming of homosexuality and other sexual immorality, and yoke almost exclusively with false teachers. Read more here.

2. Allie recently platformed (see “Additional Resources” below) Michael Knowles, a staunch Catholic, on her show, seemed to treat him as a brother in Christ, and recommended his show and books to her audience. More info on Catholicism here. More details on why platforming Michael was problematic here (full video here), which Allie did not take kindly to.

Readers, I want you to clearly understand some things here, so please read the following information slowly, carefully, and as many times as you have to in order to grasp what I am and am not saying so that you won’t misrepresent me, or Allie, or jump to wrong conclusions.

I am not saying Allie, herself, is a false teacher. That’s not what removing her from my list of recommended teachers means. It simply means I can’t, in good conscience, and in fairness to others, proactively point people to her. For the foreseeable future, I have no reason or any plans to add her to my list of false teachers.

I am not questioning Allie’s salvation. I really feel like that should be obvious. The only reason I’m even saying this is because I know somebody who’s not reading carefully is going to jump to that wrong conclusion.

I am questioning Allie’s discernment, wisdom, and/or research. To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48). Allie has a large audience. Many of her followers are lost, new Christians, or undiscerning, which makes them especially vulnerable to false teachers. Before Allie platforms someone on her show as a brother or sister in Christ, a trustworthy Christian resource, or someone with expertise in an area of theology or the Christian life, she has a personal responsibility as a Christian to vet that person and make sure s/he is doctrinally sound so she won’t be thrusting vulnerable people into the arms of a wolf, or even someone who’s just theologically mistaken. Allie has failed to do this several times, which is the crux of the reason I’m pausing recommending her. If you choose to continue following Allie, I would strongly recommend that you vet anyone she interviews, platforms at her own events, or appears with at other events before you decide to follow or receive teaching from that person.

There’s nothing personal or emotional about this decision. I still love Allie to death and consider her a sister in Christ. I’m not mad or upset with her, and I hope that feeling is mutual. Although I’m somewhat disappointed that she hasn’t issued any sort of public retraction or statement of repentance – because that would be the biblical thing to do, and she has thus far failed to do it – removing her from the list of recommended teachers was a policy and ministry decision I was forced to make, not a personal one.

Everybody errs. I do. You do. This time, Allie did. We need to remember the grace Christ has extended to us while still exhibiting repentance when we sin, and expecting brothers and sisters in Christ to do the same. And we certainly need to remember the Golden Rule – to treat others the way we would want to be treated.

This doesn’t have to be permanent, and I’m hoping it’s not. I would love to add Allie back to my list of Recommended Teachers, Authors, etc., if and when that becomes an option.

Additional Resource:

Unequally Yoked: When Christians Platform False Teachers at A Word Fitly Spoken


How should we respond to an invitation to attend our niece’s confirmation in the Catholic Church?

Before we get into the mechanics of how to respond, everybody take a moment and think this through. How would you respond if you were invited to a ceremony or celebration for a loved one who was becoming a Mormon? A Hindu? A member of a cult? If you’re recoiling right now, that’s the same inward response you should have if you’re invited to attend a loved one’s initiation into Catholicism.

Catholicism isn’t Christianity. It is just as anti-Christian and anti-biblical as any of those other religions.

I know it’s really difficult when someone you love has embraced an unbiblical theology and invites you to celebrate with her. You love her, you want to participate in this with her just like you participate with her in birthdays, Christmas, and other special events, and you don’t want to be the big, bad Christian meanie. But out of loyalty to Christ, you can’t celebrate blasphemy and false doctrine, and out of love for your loved one, you can’t celebrate something that’s going to send her to an eternity in Hell.

So, what do you do? I don’t know how invitations to confirmations work. If it’s like a formal wedding invitation that includes an R.s.v.p. card (or some sort of response website, like The Knot), simply mark “will not attend” and send it back.

Whether or not you explain why you won’t be attending sort of depends on how close you are to this niece and her family, whether or not they pretty much already know why you’re not attending, and whether or not you want to.

If you’re not close with the niece and her family, you were just one of the 500 other people they invited, the aforementioned R.s.v.p. (or if it’s more casual, a verbal or text, “I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to make it.”) will suffice. If you want to write a letter or email briefly explaining why you can’t biblically attend, you can do that, just be sure to keep it kind and loving rather than attacking or lecturing.

If you are close with the niece and her family and you’ve already had some discussions about why Catholicism isn’t biblical, you can simply let them know you won’t be able to make it. They probably already know why, but if they ask, you can briefly remind them of your past conversations and that your conscience won’t allow you to attend.

If you’re close with the niece and her family, and you haven’t ever had any discussions about why Catholicism is unbiblical, you can try simply responding that you won’t be able to make it, but if you’re otherwise really involved in her life, they’re going to want to know why you’d miss such an important event. Do not make up an excuse. That’s lying. Briefly explain to them why your love and loyalty to Christ and your love for your niece won’t let you attend. If you think they’re open to it and it would help, you could even send them this resource.

Additional Resources:

Roman Catholicism: Mass Confusion at A Word Fitly Spoken

Truth and Love โ€“ with Mike Gendron at A Word Fitly Spoken


1Because I know I’m going to get the question, “Are you saying that the Robertsons aren’t Christians because they believe in baptismal regeneration?” here’s my answer: That’s something that would have to be determined on a case by case basis. They and their church also preach, teach, and believe the biblical gospel. I’ve heard them present it. If anyone genuinely repents and believes the biblical gospel, that person is saved at that moment. If he subsequently believes he has to be immediately baptized or he’s not going to Heaven when he dies, that’s a false belief, but it doesn’t negate that person’s genuine belief in the true gospel. Conversely, if he believes it’s his baptism that saves, regenerates, or justifies him, rather than repenting and believing the gospel, that person is not saved. You can see how you would really need to talk to an individual who holds to baptismal regeneration about exactly what he personally believes in order to help him understand whether or not he’s genuinely saved. Be all of that as it may, it is still a false gospel to teach that a person is not saved unless he is baptized. That is my point about the Robertsons being called upon as experts on evangelism on Allie’s show.

2I have also had followers alert me to some of the political rally-type events Allie has spoken at, and questioned whether or not she was unbiblically instructing men in the Scriptures or sharing the stage with other false teachers at these events. To be perfectly transparent, I haven’t looked into this, so I don’t know. If that’s a concern for you, I would encourage you to do the research for yourself.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Podcast Appearances

Podcast Guest Appearance – The Biblical Mom-alogue

I had such a wonderful time chatting with Michelle Flaningan on her podcast The Biblical Mom-alogue! This episode is called False Teaching and How to Discern Biblical Truth.

On the show, we discussed how I got started in discipleship ministry, how women can develop better discernment, how to teach our children discernment, and more! Check it out!


Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the episode:

Going Beyond Scripture: Why It’s Time to Say Goodbye to Priscilla Shirer and Going Beyond Ministries

Bible Studies

Chronological Bible reading plan (and other plans)

Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment (Discernment Bible study)

Searching for a new church?

Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends

Recommended Bible Teachers, Authors, Etc.


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a womenโ€™s conference or church event? Click the โ€œSpeaking Engagementsโ€ tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat!

Podcast Appearances

Podcast Guest Appearance – Contending for the Word

It was such a pleasure, recently, to chat with my friend Dave Jenkins on his podcast Contending for the Word, in an episode titled Exposing Priscilla Shirer’s False Teachings: A Detailed Analysis.

On the show, we evaluated a few videos of Priscilla Shirer’s teaching, and discussed how and why it’s unbiblical. Other topics included false teachers she has yoked with, the fact that she preaches to men, and whether or not she believes and teaches a heretical view of the Trinity called modalism.

Be sure to check out Dave’s website, Servants of Grace, where you’ll find an abundance of great teaching, podcasts, and materials, as well as his social media links- and give Dave a follow!


Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the episode:

Going Beyond Scripture: Why It’s Time to Say Goodbye to Priscilla Shirer and Going Beyond Ministries

Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a womenโ€™s conference or church event? Click the โ€œSpeaking Engagementsโ€ tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat!

Discernment, False Teachers, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Gather25

Originally published February 27, 2024

2025 UPDATE: The article below was published in February 2024, approximately one year prior to Gather25. Yesterday (February 12, 2025), Amy and I dropped a much more detailed A Word Fitly Spoken podcast episode about Gather25, which will take place in a little over two weeks: Friday, February 28- Saturday, March 1. I encourage you to give it a listen, and warn your church, your friends, or anyone you think might be interested in attending or streaming.


Does anyone know what Gather25 is about? Is it similar to IF:Gathering?

This past weekend was IF:Gathering 2024. I shared my article about it on social media and one of my followers asked this question. I’m glad she did so I could give you a heads up and you can have a whole year to warn your church and your friends away from it.

According to its website, Gather25 is a 25 hour global simulcast of “prayer, worship, repentance, and commissioning” (i.e. sending people out under the auspices of the Great Commission, ostensibly, to share the gospel) which will take place in March 2025.

On their FAQ page it says:

“Gather25 is being organized and led by an alliance of Christian organizations: IF:Gathering, YouVersion, illumiNations, Right Now Media, and many more international ministries and churches. The original vision for Gather25 was cast by Jennie Allen.”

Jennie Allen is a false teacher and founder of IF:Gathering, an annual conference for evangelical women (and, no doubt, some men) which routinely platforms false teachers, women pastors, and women who preach to men.

YouVersion is hosted by Craig Groeschel’s LifeChurch.TV. He is a false teacher and platforms many other false teachers and women who preach to men.

The majority of the resources RightNow Media carries are from false teachers. For example, their home page – the “face” they present to the public – currently features Tony Evans, Jennie Allen, Bianca Olthoff, Francis Chan, and First Baptist Orlando.

illumiNations seems to be a Bible translation and distribution organization, which may be just fine, but I’m concerned that all of the evangelical celebrities they currently and proudly list on their home page as supporting their organization (Elevation Worship, Lecrae, Sadie Huff, Passion, IF:Gathering, MVMNT Conference, and Chris Tomlin) are false/woke teachers, or conferences and individuals that platform false/woke teachers. 

And these are just the four organizations mentioned by name on the FAQ page. There are many more sponsors, and the ones I’m familiar with are all doctrinally unsound and/or run by false teachers. This thing is absolutely saturated with false teachers.

This event is going to sucker in a lot of undiscerning pastors, because, “What could possibly be wrong with prayer, worship, repentance, and commissioning people to share the gospel? We can just set aside the ‘secondary issue’ differences we have with these people and join them.”. But Scripture forbids us from having anything to do with false teachers. And if your pastor invites these false teachers into your church via simulcast, he is disqualified from the ministry. Titus 1:9 is part of the biblical qualifications for pastors and elders:

He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Titus 1:9

Furthermore, what sort of false gospel might these false teachers be “commissioning” people to spread? What sort of unbiblical prayer and worship practices will they lead participants in? What is the definition of “repentance” these false teachers hold to? Will they lead participants to “repent” of things like “whiteness,” refusing to baptize practicing homosexuals, oppressing women by not allowing them to be pastors, and such?

If you think your pastor might be the type to have your church participate in this event, I would recommend you start praying now, start preparing now, and prayerfully consider whether or not you should warn him about Gather25 now so that he has plenty of time to be obedient to the Titus 1:9 mandate the Lord has given him.

If not, and he throws open the doors of your church to these false teachers, he’s a hireling, not a shepherd, and it’s time to start searching for a new church.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

False Doctrine, False Teachers, Suffering

Throwback Thursday ~ Band-Aids vs. Chemotherapy: Why Suffering Women are Drawn to False Doctrine and 7 Things We Can do to Help

Originally published October 7, 2016

Joyce Meyer. Beth Moore. Paula White. Lysa TerKeurst. Christine Caine. Lisa Harper. What do all of these women have in common?

Yes, theyโ€™re all false teachers, but theyโ€™re also all victims of sexual abuse.

I havenโ€™t conducted a scientific poll, survey, or longitudinal study, so my observations could be way off base, but Iโ€™ve been noticing lately – from hearing these womenโ€™s testimonies, reading comments on their blog articles, and talking to women who follow them – that women who have been sexually abused seem to be particularly vulnerable to โ€œfeel goodโ€ false doctrine.

And itโ€™s not just victims of sexual abuse. Itโ€™s women who are suffering from the death of a child or spouse, divorce, infertility, illness, spousal abuse- all of those agonies that strike right at the core of women’s hearts. Youโ€™ll find them in droves at the conferences, book signings, and blogs of false teachers.

Why is that?

Women who are suffering. Youโ€™ll find them in droves at the conferences, book signings, and blogs of false teachers. Why is that?

Because those things hurt. I mean, โ€œI want to crawl under the covers and die,โ€ hurt. โ€œMy life is over,โ€ hurt. โ€œAn elephant is sitting on my chest and I canโ€™t breathe,โ€ hurt. These precious, beautiful souls God created for joy are walking through something no human being should ever have to experience.

And Satan, that evil beast, is right there to exploit their pain and make things worse by molesting them spiritually. He sends false teachers to whisper sweetly in their ears, โ€œIt hurts, doesnโ€™t it? But I can make all that pain go away, now.โ€

Letโ€™s just be honest for a minute. Thatโ€™s what we all want. I donโ€™t care how doctrinally sound and spiritually mature you are- when excruciating pain explodes into your life, you donโ€™t skip through the tulips to meet it with a smile on your face and a giddy tune on your lips. You just want it to go away. And like a confidence man with a wagon full of snake oil, false teachers are at the ready to offer a magic elixir that will miraculously cure what ails you. Instantly.

I donโ€™t care how spiritually mature you are- when excruciating pain explodes into your life, you donโ€™t skip through the tulips to meet it with a smile on your face and a giddy tune on your lips. You just want it to go away.

โ€œYouโ€™re Godโ€™s masterpiece- His princess!โ€

โ€œItโ€™s never Godโ€™s will for you to suffer.โ€

โ€œJust declare the things that are not as though they are!โ€

โ€œGod will give you back what you lost a hundredfold.โ€

โ€œSow a seed into my ministry and God will open up the windows of heaven and pour out His blessings!โ€

โ€œYour words create reality. Just speak out what you want and you can have it!โ€

โ€œNo weapon formed against you shall prosper!โ€

โ€œGod wants to do the impossible in your life, so dream big dreams!โ€

In other words, โ€œJust do or believe X. Youโ€™ll feel better and your situation will turn around. I suffered just like you did, and look what God did for me!โ€ The only problem with that kind of teaching is…well…the Bible. The Bible doesnโ€™t make that sort of promise to anyone, in fact it says just the opposite. Jesus promised us tribulationJames, various trialsPaul, persecutionPeter, suffering.

The truth is, since the Fall, we live in a broken, sinful world. Weโ€™re going to suffer. Itโ€™s often going to be long, painful, and messy. Sometimes, there wonโ€™t be a cure this side of Glory. Godโ€™s promise to followers of Christ is not that He will eradicate our suffering, but that He will walk through it with us.

Godโ€™s promise to followers of Christ is not that He will eradicate our suffering, but that He will walk through it with us.

So how do we provide chemotherapy for the soul to an anguished woman who just wants a pretty Hello Kitty Band-Aid for her emotions or life circumstances? How do we impart hard, healing truth when sheโ€™s being seduced by an easy, deadly lie?

How do we provide chemotherapy for the soul to an anguished woman who just wants a pretty Hello Kitty Band-Aid for her emotions or life circumstances?

1. Be honest.
Donโ€™t be tempted to โ€œcompeteโ€ with false teachers by telling her Godโ€™s going to fix everything the way she wants it. She might die from the cancer she was just diagnosed with. She might never be able to get pregnant. Her estranged husband might not come back. Things might not get better. They might get worse.

2. Walk with her.
Joyce Meyer isnโ€™t going to be there at three in the morning when she canโ€™t stop crying. Beth Moore isnโ€™t going to go to court with her and hold her hand when the verdict is handed down. Christine Caine isnโ€™t going to pull her hair back when sheโ€™s vomiting from chemo. You be there. You comfort her. Thatโ€™s why God put you in her life.

3. Set her mind on things above, not on earthly things.
Help her keep her eyes focused on Christ, not her situation. Pray with her. Sing songs of praise with her. Remind her of the gospel. Lead her to be thankful. Take her to church. Recite Scripture together.

4. Shut up.
Some of us are fixers. We want to make people feel better or fix their situation by doing something, saying something, teaching something. And a lot of times thatโ€™s not what a suffering woman needs. She just needs a hug. Someone to sit and cry with. Someone to eat raw cookie dough with. Hush. We donโ€™t have to talk things to death all the time, and weโ€™re probably not going to be able to fix the situation anyway.

5. Rehearse Godโ€™s real promises.
The false teachers are throwing sparkly fake promises at her. You give her the real ones. Theyโ€™re so much better.

6. Suffer well.
Suffering is going to come your way, too, or maybe it already has. Set an example by being real about your own struggles and failures, yet testifying to Godโ€™s faithfulness during tribulation. What did you learn from your suffering? How did it build your trust in God and draw you closer to Him?

7. Pray.
Ask God to give you wisdom about what to say or do to help and comfort her. And intercede for her and her situation, as well, because, ultimately, regardless of your words or actions, it is the Holy Spiritโ€™s job to comfort her heart and give her peace and trust in God. (Hmmm…maybe thatโ€™s why Heโ€™s called the Comforter?)

The desire to escape from suffering is normal and in no way an indication of a lack of faith. Even Jesus prayed in the garden that if there were some other way than the cross, God would “let this cup pass” from Him. But sometimes, as difficult as it is to understand, suffering is part of Godโ€™s plan for our lives. Itโ€™s not His desire that we escape it but that we depend on Him, rest in Him, trust Him, and obey Him as He carries us through it. When we love our sisters in Christ, this is the truth we will impart to them, not the heal-all salve of improved life circumstances and feel good-ism the used car salesmen of evangelicalism are hawking.

When we love our sisters in Christ, this is the truth we will impart to them, not the heal-all salve of improved life circumstances and feel good-ism the used car salesmen of evangelicalism are hawking.