On today’s Testimony Tuesday,
several sisters in Christ share their stories.
From Facebook:
Cheryl’s Story Words are powerful, and when they are well intended, but off-base, they can cause massive damage.
About 25 years ago we lost two of our three babies to a genetic disease. When the second of the two was still with us, (they died 4 years apart), a well-intentioned person came to encourage us, and told us, “If you have enough faith, your baby will live”.
Those words were a hook that dragged me through years and years of torment. “If I have enough faith, then…” My baby died, so it became MY FAULT because I didn’t have sufficient faith. It also made God someone who couldn’t be pleased. How much faith DOES one need to get a miracle, and how do you get it?? It was a huge can of worms.
Two decades later, I broke down into a major depression that nearly ended my life, but God led me to safe counsel, and I was truly, finally healed from carrying that horrible guilt and grief all those years.
Words are powerful. Use wisdom because sometimes Satan uses well-intentioned words as bait that have lies wrapped in them.
Anonymous I was going to a charismatic church and the pastor started promoting and giving Rick Warren’s book Purpose Driven Life out to all the new Christians. I was very concerned since I don’t agree with Warren’s teaching so I made an appointment to meet with the pastor and his wife (who is a co-pastor). They didn’t agree with my concerns at all and even mentioned during the conversation that they like Joel Osteen! I knew then that it was time for me to leave that church. I started attending a Baptist church and have left the Word of Faith doctrine completely. Feeling very blessed to be where I am now!
Deby’s Story Submission has gotten a bad rap in our society. It is not being a doormat or being mentally or a physically abused submission. It is submitting as if to Christ. My husband was not a believer and now he is. It was hard for me not to nag him about things, I had to trust God and put my husband in God’s hands and his will. Sure I made some mistakes along the way but eventually in God’s timing not mine, he called my husband to the faith.
Catherine’s Story When I was first married, I was the unsaved and my dearest husband was the Believer. You have no idea what that man of mine had to put up with in the first 2 years of our marriage before the Lord got a hold of my heart and I was made to look at my own depravity, sinful desires, and all-around foolishness. I am a fortunate woman that my husband stuck around for that conversion, and I know that too was part of a Sovereign Lord’s plan and one that I cannot thank Him enough for. After 32 years of marriage, I have not “arrived”. I look back on those first couple years and I’m humbled by what the study of God’s Word and the sanctification that the Spirit works in a person’s life has done to change me so completely.
Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!
Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? 2 For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. 3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. 8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? 9 And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. 10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. 12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.
Isaiah 53:1-12
Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:4
What a beautiful passage describing Christ’s suffering for us. Usually, when we think about suffering, we think about suffering we’ve personally experienced, things loved ones have been through, newsworthy events from around the globe, and natural disasters. And, as normal human beings in a broken, sinful world, that’s what we tend to do- we think of people, topics, and circumstances in light of our experiences with them or how they affect us. But as Christians, it’s imperative that, when we think of suffering, we look first to Christ, the Suffering Servant, and see all other suffering in light of His suffering.
Certainly, Isaiah 53 doesn’t cover every aspect or incident of Christ’s suffering, but let’s take a look at a few of these verses that prophesy – over 700 years before He was ever born – about the suffering of Christ.
Let’s take a look at a few of these verses that prophesy – over 700 years before He was ever born – about the suffering of Christ.
Christ suffered physically Most have read the Bible’s account of the crucifixion. But in the same way a verbal description of abortion doesn’t really capture the horror of the act the way a video can, our English words used in Isaiah 53 can’t adequately express the extreme physical suffering Christ endured on the cross. The cross was such an agonizing experience we had to invent a new word for that kind of suffering: excruciating. Ex– out of, cruciare– the crucifixion. Suffering drawn out of the cross.
The cross was such an agonizing experience we had to invent a new word for that kind of suffering: excruciating. Suffering drawn out of the cross.
Verse 5 says He was pierced, crushed, chastised, and wounded. Let’s take a closer look at those words:
Pierced– The Hebrew word means: “to wound (fatally), bore through” We see this with the crown of thorns that “bore through” Jesus’ head and the nails that pierced His hands and feet.
Crushed– The Hebrew means: “to be broken, shattered, beat to pieces” Interestingly, it can also mean “contrite”- He was contrite for our iniquities.
Chastisement– The Hebrew means: “discipline” as you would discipline a naughty child
Wounds/stripes– The Hebrew means: “a welt, blueness, bruise, hurt”
The flogging. The thorns. The pummeling He took from the soldiers. And carrying the cross to Calvary after all of that. Nails through His wrists, nails through His feet, the agony of trying to breathe, and, finally, the spear through His side. Jesus’ physical body took some of the worst abuse that’s ever been doled out by professional torturers.
Christ suffered emotionally Jesus was a human being, just like you and me. That means he had feelings and emotions just like you and I do, and people and circumstances hurt Him just like they hurt us.
He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Jesus had loved ones die and friends betray Him and turn their backs on Him. He wasn’t immune to the hurts of life.
We esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Stricken, smitten, afflicted- those aren’t words we use very often. What do they mean? Stricken is to reach out and touch someone. It’s the same idea as God striking someone down or striking someone with leprosy. Smitten by God– same idea, but with more of a judgment or punishment angle: “smite, chastise, send judgment upon, punish, destroy.” To be afflicted is to be “oppressed, humiliated, be bowed down.”
This phrase in verse 4 carries the idea that people thought Jesus had done something(s) that so displeased God that that God’s punitive hand of judgment was upon His life. Of course, that wasn’t true. Yet, there were people who thought of Him that way and treated Him that way- at the cross, certainly, but also, to some extent, during His life.
And yes, that grieved Him as the God who loved and wanted to save these people, but, on the human side, well, we all know how it feels to be misunderstood and misrepresented. Christ felt those slings and arrows of the heart.
We all know how it feels to be misunderstood and misrepresented. Christ felt those slings and arrows of the heart.
Christ suffered spiritually
When I say Christ “suffered spiritually” I want to be clear that I do not mean anything ever happened to Christ that marred His sinless perfection or in any way diminished His deity. What I mean is that He suffered due to fallen man’s sinfulness regarding theological or spiritual issues. For example:
He was despised and rejected by men…he was despised, and we esteemed him not. We see this constantly in the gospels. The Pharisees were always trying to trick Jesus and trap Him with difficult questions. They repeatedly accused Him of “working” on the Sabbath by healing people, picking grain and eating it, and so on. They plotted against Him. They tried to stone Him. Even at the end, when He was on the cross, Scripture says “they hurled insults at Him.”
And why? These aren’t just playground bullies picking on a random kid for no reason. They had a reason. And those insults the chief priests and scribes and elders hurled at Jesus in Matthew 27:42-43 sum up that reason pretty neatly:
He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’
Jesus was God. He was their Messiah. Yet these men didn’t want to humble themselves and admit it and bow the knee to Him. They looked Jesus in the eye – the God who loved them, created them, and breathed the breath of life into them – and said: We will not have this King reign over us! They despised and rejected the core of who Jesus was: Savior, King, Son of God.
They looked Jesus in the eye – the God who loved them, created them, and breathed the breath of life into them – and said: We will not have this King reign over us!
The Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. [He was] stricken for the transgression of my people His soul makes an offering for guilt He shall bear their iniquities He bore the sin of many
Christ carried our sin. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree… (1 Peter 2:24). There’s no way we could begin to fathom what it was like for Christ to carry every single sin of billions of people in His body. But He didn’t just have the weight of that sin on His shoulders, He also propitiated God’s wrath toward every single one of those sins. God poured out the cup of His wrath for our sin and Jesus drank every last drop of it.
God poured out the cup of His wrath for our sin and Jesus drank every last drop of it.
Jesus suffered tremendously. How did He respond to all that suffering?
Christ’s Response to Suffering
Hebrews 2:17 tells us: Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect.
One of the ways Jesus was made like us, His brothers, was that He suffered. He suffered physically, He suffered emotionally, and He suffered “spiritually,” just like we do. In fact, He suffered far more in each of these respects than any of us ever have or ever will.
But what’s even more amazing to me than the actual extent of Jesus’ suffering was the fact that He endured all of it, from the moment of His birth to the moment of His death without ever sinning. Not even once. Not even in His thoughts or the attitude of His heart.
He endured all of it, from the moment of His birth to the moment of His death without ever sinning. Not even once. Not even in His thoughts or the attitude of His heart.
That’s huge. Think of the suffering you’ve experienced in your life and how you responded to it. I’ve retaliated against people who have hurt me, or at least harbored bitterness against them. During times of calamity, I’ve yelled at God, I’ve questioned His love for me, I’ve not trusted Him, I’ve been angry at Him.
But Jesus never had a sinful response to suffering. How did He respond?
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23
In some cases, Jesus just didn’t respond at all to the person or situation causing the suffering. He communed with God instead. Jesus knew that He was in God’s hands and God would mete out judgment at the proper time.
But this is the same Jesus who instructed us to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, give your cloak as well as your tunic. And Jesus certainly embodied these responses to those who caused Him suffering.
Let’s look at Jesus’ response to Pilate in John 18:33-38. But before we do, bear in mind that Jesus has the power to call down any number of angels to destroy Pilate, the courtyard where He’s about to be flogged, Calvary, Jerusalem, the whole world, if He wants to, in order to avoid the suffering He’s about to endure, and Jesus is fully aware of that. But watch how He responds to Pilate:
So Pilate entered his headquarters again and called Jesus and said to him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus answered, “Do you say this of your own accord, or did others say it to you about me?” Pilate answered, “Am I a Jew? Your own nation and the chief priests have delivered you over to me. What have you done?” Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.” Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?” After he had said this, he went back outside to the Jews and told them, “I find no guilt in him.
Jesus took the time to, essentially, share the gospel with this horrid man, whose next move was to have Jesus taken out and beaten to a bloody pulp. Jesus not only refused to retaliate against Pilate, He blessed him with the gospel instead.
When Jesus was on the cross, how did He respond to those who had crucified Him and those who were mocking and insulting Him? Did He yell back? Tell them they were all going to burn in Hell? No, He prayed for them: Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Every time Jesus suffered, He responded to it in exactly the right, godly way. He trusted Himself, the situation, and everyone involved to God, He loved His enemies, and He said or did whatever would best proclaim the gospel or glorify God in that situation.
It’s difficult to wrap our minds around all of the ways Jesus suffered, and more difficult still to comprehend that He never responded sinfully to His suffering. But perhaps the most baffling aspect of Jesus’ suffering is that He willingly chose to endure it all for rebellious, thankless, undeserving sinners like you and me. To serve us. To purchase the salvation we could never earn. To live the life we could not live. To die the death we could not die. And to conquer the grave that, for us, was unconquerable.
Perhaps the most baffling aspect of Jesus’ suffering is that He willingly chose to endure it all for rebellious, thankless, undeserving sinners like you and me.
Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down.2 And he took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down.3 Then he said to the redeemer, “Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, is selling the parcel of land that belonged to our relative Elimelech.4 So I thought I would tell you of it and say, ‘Buy it in the presence of those sitting here and in the presence of the elders of my people.’ If you will redeem it, redeem it. But if you will not, tell me, that I may know, for there is no one besides you to redeem it, and I come after you.” And he said, “I will redeem it.”5 Then Boaz said, “The day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you also acquire Ruth the Moabite, the widow of the dead, in order to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance.”6 Then the redeemer said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.”
7 Now this was the custom in former times in Israel concerning redeeming and exchanging: to confirm a transaction, the one drew off his sandal and gave it to the other, and this was the manner of attesting in Israel.8 So when the redeemer said to Boaz, “Buy it for yourself,” he drew off his sandal.9 Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and to Mahlon.10 Also Ruth the Moabite, the widow of Mahlon, I have bought to be my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brothers and from the gate of his native place. You are witnesses this day.”11 Then all the people who were at the gate and the elders said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman, who is coming into your house, like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel. May you act worthily in Ephrathah and be renowned in Bethlehem,12 and may your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring that the Lord will give you by this young woman.”
13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son.14 Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel!15 He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.”16 Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her lap and became his nurse.17 And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.
18 Now these are the generations of Perez: Perez fathered Hezron,19 Hezron fathered Ram, Ram fathered Amminadab,20 Amminadab fathered Nahshon, Nahshon fathered Salmon,21 Salmon fathered Boaz, Boaz fathered Obed,22 Obed fathered Jesse, and Jesse fathered David.
1. Briefly refresh your memory on Deuteronomy 25:5-10 (God’s instructions for levirate marriage), and read Leviticus 25:23-28 (God’s instructions for selling and redeeming property). Compare the actions of Boaz and the other redeemer (1-10) to these two passages. Did both of them obey the law? Since Boaz is a type of Christ, how does his fulfillment of this law point us to Christ’s fulfillment of the Law? Compare Boaz’s obedience to the law in order to redeem Ruth to Christ’s obedience to the Law in order to redeem sinners.
2. Why do you think Boaz first proffered the sale of the property to the other redeemer rather than mentioning Ruth first? (3-5)
3. Compare the other redeemer’s unwillingness to bear the cost of redeeming Ruth (6) with Boaz’s willingness to endure great cost to himself to redeem Ruth (9-10). How does this point us to Christ’s willingness to empty Himself of the riches of Heaven to redeem sinners?
4. Examine verses 9-10. Would you characterize this business transaction more as an investment for financial gain or the purchase of a debt? Who stood to gain materially from this transaction, Ruth or Boaz? How? When Christ redeemed us by purchasing us with His blood, who stood to gain from that transaction, Him or us? Read these passages, and examine Christ’s purchase of our sin debt and the benefit we receive at salvation by His righteousness being imputed to us.
5. Notice the impact Ruth and Naomi’s story had on the women of the town who had been watching these events transpire. (13-17) How were Ruth’s, Naomi’s, and Boaz’s godly behavior a witness to these women of God’s goodness and faithfulness? Consider your own life. How could your godly words and actions point watching women to Christ and open a door for you to share the gospel with them?
6. Why did the women say, “A son has been born to Naomi,” (17) when Obed was Ruth’s baby? (10)
7. Compare verses 18-21 with these passages. How do the people mentioned in verses 18-21 fit into the family line of Christ? How does the story of Ruth and her family line showcase God’s sovereignty and the way – centuries in advance – He was setting events in motion and working out His plan for the coming of Christ?
Homework
Just as Ruth was living in poverty and needed someone to redeem her out of that life, someone you know is living in the poverty of sin and needs Jesus to redeem her from eternal death to eternal life. She needs Jesus to purchase her sin debt and give her the riches of His righteousness in exchange. This week, share the gospel with someone. Tell her about Jesus our Redeemer.
(Berna Deene shared this with her family and friends on social media
and is sharing it with us today)
“Let the redeemed of the LORD SAY SO,
whom He hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy!”
[Psalm 107:2]
“Come and hear, all ye that fear God,
and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. ”
[Psalm 66:16]
My dearest family and friends,
I know you see what is on my timeline, I know because periodically you will hit the like button. I am asking each and every one of you to share this with your family and friends.
I spent the majority of my life dead spiritually. I wouldn’t admit there was a God, I didn’t like God and wanted nothing to do with Him other than a prayer now and then asking for help when I got myself in trouble. I never believed He heard me and as it turns out, it says in the Bible that He does not listen to the prayers of (unrepentant ) sinners. (Proverbs 15:29 “The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.” And again in John 9:31 “We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will”)
My life was long, longer than I wanted. I was ready for it to end. I had seen everything, done everything, was afraid of everything even though most thought me quite gregarious and bold. I was so sick of living, so sick of this world, running myself ragged trying to fix the world while blind to the fact that it was not in my control to do so. I was listening to a song on my computer one day…..Laura Story singing Blessings….and as she sang “this is not our home” I knew! I knew Jesus was with me. He had come for me. He calmed me….THEN, THEN, GOD, started drawing me, He called me (and I don’t mean I heard Him yell “Berna Deene”) but He called me just the same. He put me on my face and knees in my living room all by myself and I cried out to Him. I ask Him to forgive me.
I was a rebellious drug addicted rock and roll feminist. I believed in pro choice and pro gay marriages, I believed when you died you died. Period. I believed and lived like there was no tomorrow and indeed most the time I was hoping there would not be. He forgave me All of that. He opened my blind eyes, He replaced a heart of stone which I was born with, and gave me a throbbing heart of flesh which beats every moment and cries out “my God, my God, thank You for being my God.” He changed my mind when He changed my heart. I went from pro choice to knowing it was no choice. It is God’s choice. I went from believing everyone had a right to love whom they wanted, when they wanted and who did it hurt. It hurts them. And it makes God very very angry.
You see, in Genesis, right at the beginning as He created EVERYTHING, He set the way. Man, woman, child, beast. Marriage was between one man and one woman. Man was the head over the woman and meant to protect, provide and if necessary lay down his life for her. Woman was to be of support and submit to her husband just as we all, men, women and children are to submit to the LORD. She was to bear the children, teach and raise them to love, worship and obey God. But Eve listened to evil in the garden, deceived she decided on her own to eat the forbidden fruit, then offered it to Adam who ate it also even though he knew God said it was not allowed. From then on each and every one of us have been born dead spiritually and it isn’t until we are born again that we can reconnect with our Creator.
Why am I writing this? I have had loved ones die, that I know are not in heaven. I was not born again at the time of their dying so I could not be a witness to them about Jesus, born of a virgin, leading a totally sinless life, hanging on the cross with the sins of His sheep heavy on Him, dying to save me, and lo and behold resurrecting in 3 days just as He said He would! There are no coincidences in life my friends. The LORD GOD, knows all, sees all, and will judge all. Jesus is coming back. He said, if you repent and believe He will in no way turn you away.
Repent doesn’t just mean I’m sorry, It means to turn around from your sins, and leave them behind, Remorsefully bow at the foot of the cross where HE shed His blood to cleanse us. Doesn’t mean we don’t falter, slip, are perfect. No way. He was the only perfect one. But if you think you are born again, and your life hasn’t changed completely, drastically, and you don’t hate what you used to love, like drugs, lying, cheating, stealing, porn, abortion, cussing, gossiping, then you need to think again.
If you are not now Christ centered, waking in the morning and thinking of God, praising and praying and obeying His Word, think about Him through out the day and in bed as you lay down at night…you need to re-evaluate yourself. If you aren’t reading the Bible, the Word of God every day, if you don’t go and read where you can find out what HE expects and commands of us, how can you say you love HIM and you are His? If your soul isn’t grieving for the lost, the unsaved, the unrepentant, if you are not sharing your faith and Jesus, please reconsider if your new birth was in fact the born again that Jesus Himself spoke of.. None of us are guaranteed the next minute let alone tomorrow. Do not put off seeking HIM. Time is so much shorter than you think. I love you and I want to see you in heaven. I remain …..in praise, prayer and need of prayer.
Your sister Berna Deene
Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!
My prayer is that God would use this as a witness to His Truth and that He will be glorified.
When I was 12, during an invitation, I walked the aisle up to the pastor. The Sunday before, an 11-year-old boy had been saved and I didn’t like that he was only 11 and I was 12 and I hadn’t “done that yet”. I do remember knowing “Jesus died on the cross for me”. I didn’t understand what that meant, but since I had heard this all my life, I believed it. I don’t remember what I said or what the pastor said. I remember being told that I was saved and was baptized a few Sundays later. Nothing about me changed.
For the next 23 years I did whatever I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it without regard to whether or not it was pleasing to God, nor did I care. It didn’t matter to me how I lived my life as long as God forgave me at the end and I didn’t go to Hell. As I was in and out of churches, the false belief that I was saved was reinforced by the sermons I heard. I could name a time and place I had “made a decision for Christ”. I didn’t really understand what salvation was but I didn’t know that at the time. I didn’t see myself as having sinned against a holy God. As far as I was concerned I had prayed the prayer and that was all I needed to do.
When I was 35, God caused me to see how sinful I was (I will spare you the details). For the first time I realized that my prayer as a kid did not save me. For the first time, I hated who I was and how I had been living my life. For the first time, I realized that how I was living my life hadn’t just hurt me, my friends and my family, but I had grieved God. For the first time I understood that salvation was not just about getting out of Hell. I finally understood what “Jesus died on the cross for me” meant. I finally understood how wretched I was and why Jesus had to die for me. It was at this time, that I truly wanted God to forgive me and save me and I knew then that I belonged to Him.
The Holy Spirit has taught me so much in the past 16 years and has grown me steadily at times and by great leaps and bounds at other times. The first 5 years He showed me how I was to live my life as a Christian. I wasn’t very good at it. I had no one to mentor/disciple me. But, as time went by, God taught me more and more through reading Scripture and my desire to obey Him grew. The next 9 years He showed me that because I desire to obey Him I would lose some close relationships and other friendships but that He is never going to leave me. He strengthened the godly friendships and brought strong Christians into my life, including moving me from one church to another so that I would be taught and understand the truth of His Sovereignty. He has also taught me even more to not depend on myself or other people but to completely depend on Him. He has taught me not to be afraid to ask Him to break me.
About 2 years ago God gave me a greater understanding that my relationship with Him is not about how obedient I am. Much of what I had believed since being saved was that I had to “be good” or God would not be pleased with me and not hear my prayers. I knew I was saved but thought that my day to day relationship with God was based on how good I was. I hadn’t prayed enough. I hadn’t read my Bible enough. I hadn’t shared the Gospel enough. I hadn’t given enough. I continually felt that God was not pleased with me most of the time and I needed to do better so God would hear my prayers. I thought that I was forgiven of my past sin but had to answer to God later for all these sins I was committing now and continually having to repent of.
When I was challenged by a friend to dig deeper into God’s Word I realized that when God forgave me, He not only forgave me of my past sins, but for ALL my sin. God is pleased with me because of Jesus, and not because I am meeting some standard. That correction in my thinking was a great burden lifted. Now, I live my life for God because he saved me and not because I don’t want God to regret that He saved me. What freedom! God’s grace to me is beyond my understanding and I can never be grateful enough for it and I can never love God the way He deserves to be loved, but I can obey His commands out of gratefulness and love and no longer out of fear of disapproval.
God continues to teach me and draw me closer to Him. He has put a love in my heart for fellow believers. This is a big deal because there were times that I didn’t think I was capable of loving anyone other than my children. He has brought a precious Christian friend into my life that truly cares about my relationship with God. She has mentored and discipled me and continually pushes me toward God with both her words and her example. I have grown more passionate for Scripture and my time alone with God. I am learning every day and falling in love with Jesus more and more.
I want the world to know God as righteous and holy and treat Him with respect and reverence; not in a casual manner as a buddy, or as merely a gift giver. I want everyone to understand that God is not only good when we get the things we desire, but that He is inherently good. I want my friends to be aware of the dangers of false teaching, so I warn them. I want others to understand who God is and the truth of His Word so I share the Gospel. I want others to truly understand how man’s standard for goodness compares to God’s so that they can see their own sin. I want the whole world to hear about God’s salvation, but my heart goes out mostly to those that sit in churches week after week like I did as a false convert.
Please pray for Lisa: Prayers would be appreciated. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. This is the 2nd time. The first was 19 years ago. I had surgery last week and am now recovering. Doing this all with a broken foot. God is merciful and worthy of all my praise. I just want Christ to be glorified.
Update from Lisa (1/21/16): “Thank you to those that have been praying. I just learned yesterday that the cancer is not in my lymph nodes so I do not have to have chemo. And I have plenty of family and friends to help me while I recover from the cancer surgery with a broken foot. God is merciful!”
Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!
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