Tag: Prayer

Mailbag, Prayer

The Mailbag: Potpourri (“Prayers” from pagans… “Good” pride… Laying on of hands)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

What do we do when a non-Christian (or a “Christian” who really isn’t, or someone from another faith) offers their prayers to you in times of need or trial? My husband recently had surgery, and he got good luck money from a Buddhist, prayer from a Catholic/New Ager (who also told her friends to send “their angels” to him). What should we say or do in these instances?

It is a blessing to have caring people in your life, even if they are pagans. Say a prayer of thanksgiving to God that He has placed them in your path so that you might have an opportunity to demonstrate your care for them by sharing the gospel with them. This is one of the purposes of our suffering – to point to our Savior and sustainer, Jesus.

I’m not familiar with “good luck money” but I’m assuming it’s not just, “Here, I want to help with your medical bills,” but rather has some sort of spiritual significance in Buddhism.

When Mr. Buddhist comes to the hospital to visit, hands you an envelope with cash in it, and says, “This money has been specially blessed by the Dalai Lama to bring you good luck for your surgery,” (or whatever the case may be) you could say, “Thank you so much for your kindness and generosity, Mr. B, but I’m afraid God would not be pleased for me to accept this.”. When Mr. B asks why (or if he doesn’t: “May I explain why?”), it’s a perfect opening to explain that you worship the only true God of the universe and that He will have no other gods before or besides Him… and then you’re off to the races with sharing the gospel.

When the Catholic / New Ager offers to pray for you, just turn the tables, “That’s so kind of you to offer, Cath, but would you mind if I pray for you instead?” And then don’t give her a chance to answer. Just start praying. When you’ve finished, depending on which way the wind is blowing, you could launch right into a gospel presentation, or an immediate change of subject (…amen. It was so good of you to come visit, Cath. How’s your daughter doing? I heard she’s about to graduate high school. What are her plans after graduation?)

Sometimes, doing something unexpected like that knocks people off their game enough that you can kindly and lovingly shift the interaction in a direction that alleviates awkwardness and is more pleasing to God.

My question is about pride. Why are we proud (of our children, our country, our jobs well done, etc.) when pride is a sin? If you are going to tell me there is such a thing as “good pride,” please follow with where good pride came from.

I’ve tried to stop saying I’m proud of my children, by saying other things like, “You make my heart happy,” “I’m so glad you’re my son (or daughter),” etc.

Yes, I’ve asked my husband, my pastor, my previous pastor, a like-minded friend and done my own research- I have not found, nor been given, an answer. Can you please clear this up?

Wow, it sounds like you’ve been studying on this a good bit. That’s great! When we have questions like this, we should always go to our Bibles and, if possible, seek counsel from our husbands and pastors.

Even as Christians, we often misunderstand and mislabel our emotions. There is no such thing as “good pride” because the Bible’s definition of pride is much narrower than all of the things the word “pride” covers in the common vernacular.

If you will look up the words pride and proud in Scripture (particularly in Psalms and Proverbs) and begin reading the verses that contain those words as well as the surrounding context, you’ll start to get a better feel for the way the Bible, rather than the world, defines pride. You’ll see the words “pride” and “proud” mostly paired with, and surrounded by words like “arrogant,” “haughty,” “pompous,” “boasting,” and pride as opposed to humility.

As you’re looking at verses containing the words “pride” and “proud,” you’ll come across the stories of some folks who show us what it means to be prideful, but I can’t think of two better examples than Nebuchadnezzar (see v. 30) and Herod (see 22-23), so be sure to read those.

In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”

Psalm 10:4

This is the sin of pride. It is the boastful arrogance – whether expressed outwardly or cherished in the heart – that says, “I did this grand and glorious thing myself. It redounds to my glory. Look at me. Look at ME! I didn’t need God to do this thing, and I don’t need Him now.”

Non-Christians might look at their careers, and maybe even their children that way, but Christians don’t. Christians know that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father. We know, better than anyone else on the planet, that we are nothing without Him, and that we can do nothing without Him. We can’t even cause our own hearts to beat! The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.

So when you look at your kid, if you feel pride – the way the Bible describes it – you’d better repent before you end up like Nebuchadnezzar or Herod. But, I’m guessing that’s not what you feel. I’m guessing you feel just like I do when I look at my kids: a white hot, God-given love that would propel you barefoot over hot coals for them, a heart that is bursting with joy, and undying gratitude and humility that the God of the universe would graciously give you – one so undeserving – a child who is pleasing.

That’s not pride. That’s the opposite of pride.

And, yeah, maybe we should lose, “I’m so proud of you!” for “I’m so grateful to God for you!”.

We had a ladies’ fellowship weeks ago. One of our sisters was going to the hospital to have a procedure and our leader asked us to gather to pray and lay hands on her.

I’m ok with praying, but the laying on of the hands triggered in me an awkward feeling since I was part of the charismatic movement many years ago and that was a common practice. However, I also read in the Bible that the LORD and the apostles laid hands on people although maybe the context was different. It may not be an unbiblical practice and I’m just being too reactive to it. Do you have any thoughts or comments on that?

I can certainly understand why that triggered you, considering your background.

In charismatic / NAR circles the laying on of hands is typically to bestow some sort of supernatural “impartation” – of healing, imbuing someone with a “prophetic mantle,” or “gift of the Spirit,” conferring a position of leadership onto someone, using a person as a touch point to receive a “word of knowledge” about her, etc. They got this (and twisted it) from the passages of Scripture that mention Jesus and others laying their hands on people to heal, confer the Holy Spirit, and so on.

Naturally, if the Lord has saved you out of that hot mess of heresy, you don’t want to see anything remotely like it in your new, doctrinally sound church.

In doctrinally sound churches, the laying on of hands and praying for someone was, at one time, usually reserved for ordination-type ceremonies. One of the practices in the many deacon ordinations I’ve attended has been for the pastor to call upon all the ordained men attending the service to lay hands upon the deacon candidate and pray for him (not confer anything upon him). Sometimes this will be a small group of men who will surround him, lay hands on him, and pray together. I’ve also been to ordination services where there was a line of ordained men wrapped around the perimeter of the sanctuary, and each one took his turn laying hands on, and praying individually, for each deacon candidate. It’s very sobering and very special.

I think this practice, combined with the spirit of James 5:14, is how, in the doctrinally sound church, we sort of morphed into small groups laying hands on the sick or others as we pray for them. In that context, there’s certainly nothing biblically wrong with it. I’ve taken part in praying for people this way, and I’ve been prayed for this way, too. (Honestly, it usually turns into more of a group hug and you have to be careful not to smother the person being prayed for!).

Laying hands on someone isn’t necessary and it doesn’t make your prayers any more efficacious. It just creates an atmosphere of unity in prayer and makes the person being prayed for feel that she’s surrounded by brothers and sisters who love her and are interceding for her (because she is, quite literally). If you’re uncomfortable participating, you don’t have to, but as you grow in Christ and begin growing out of those old triggers, you may change your mind one day.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Budgeting… Abuse and Submission… DIY Sanctification… Prayer)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Before I get to this week’s questions, I wanted to say – I love getting questions from my readers! Here’s a helpful hint for increasing your chances of getting your question answered in The Mailbag…

Your best shot at your question being selected for The Mailbag is to email me, or – if you have a question pertaining to a particular blog article – to comment on that article. Those are the two main sources I draw Mailbag questions from because they’re the most user friendly for that purpose. I also try to grab questions from Facebook private messages whenever I think about it.

I’m rarely able to grab questions from social media comments (on posts) and DMs, especially on Instagram and Twitter. Comments and Instagram DMs move down the notification queue too quickly, and Twitter DMs from people I don’t follow are hidden.

That being said, sending me the same question multiple times or on multiple platforms (emailing and leaving a blog comment and messaging me on Facebook) will not increase your chances of your question being selected. If you send it to me once, I’ve got it. :0)

Thanks for all your questions. Keep sending them in! We wouldn’t have a Mailbag without them!

I was wondering if you can do a video on how a Christian housewife should budget money. I want to learn and trust in God’s will as well.

Great question! I’m much better in writing than on video, so I hope this format is OK.

Every household is unique, with a unique income, unique needs, unique bills and expenses, etc., so I can’t tell you, “Budget X% for this and Y% for that.” The best I can do is give you a few general guidelines:

  • Sit down with your husband with all your numbers: income, bills, expenses, etc. Prayerfully and thoughtfully consider how much you’re bringing in and how much you’re paying out. Do you need to earn more? Spend less? Cut out some expenditures? Save more?
  • Don’t forget to pray about and consider how much you need to set aside for your offerings at church. Christians are not under the Old Testament law of the tithe, but we are to give as generously to the church as we’re able according to what we’ve prayerfully determined in our hearts.
  • If money is tight and bringing in more income isn’t an option, a great way to be a helper to your husband would be to research ways you can reduce your bills, cut expenses, etc. Can you renegotiate your mortgage? Buy generic instead of name brands? Use coupons and shop the sales at the grocery store? Get your clothes at a thrift store instead of a boutique? Turn off the cable? Sell one of your cars?
  • If your husband doesn’t mind you discussing this with someone else, ask one of the godly older women in your church for advice. You can share the specific details with her and perhaps she can offer you some suggestions specific to your particular household.

This is just one of those things every couple has to work on together and figure out for themselves.

I read your article The Mailbag: I “feel led” in a different direction from my husband. In that article, you said:

Unless your husband is abusing you or encouraging you to do something sinful, God’s will is for you to graciously submit to his decisions.

I have always wondered why this circumstance is almost universally accepted as an exception to the principle of submission.

I don’t want to try to answer for the rest of the universe, but let me just explain my position. If a woman is being abused, priority number one is to get her to safety. And that’s going to mean getting away from her husband to a different place to live (until or unless he radically repents and gets saved, bears a lot of fruit in keeping with repentance, the two of them get extensive pastoral counseling, and so on).

What do you think an abusive husband’s immediate response to that is going to be? He’s going to be angry and demand that she come back home. That would be the first thing she would have to submit to before she submits to anything else. As a Christian, should she submit to that first demand? Of course not. He’s requiring her do a variety of ungodly things:

  • We are to be good stewards of our bodies and glorify God with our bodies. It is neither glorifying to God nor good stewardship to put your body in a situation in which you’re virtually certain it’s going to be damaged for no good reason. Putting your body in the hands of an unrepentant abuser is no more glorifying or good stewardship than jumping out of a third story window.
  • If you have children and you go back to an unrepentant abuser, you’re knowingly and intentionally putting them in danger. Godly mothers protect their children by keeping them away from danger as much as it’s within their power.
  • If you go back to an unrepentant abuser, you’re indirectly lying to him about his sin. By going back to him, you’re saying that his sin of abuse is OK, that he doesn’t need to repent or suffer any consequences for it, that you, as a Christian, approve of it, and that, by extension, God must approve of it, too.
  • Going back to an unrepentant abuser puts temptation in his way. When you’re in the home with him, he’s tempted to abuse you. When you’re not, he doesn’t have the opportunity to commit the sin of abusing you. We don’t put stumbling blocks in the paths of sinners.

These are all good, biblical reasons not to stay in an abusive situation, either. You can’t submit to someone who is sinning against you and requiring you to act in an ungodly way.

My question is how do you get out of yourself and your feelings? Yes, turn them over to God, I know this and I have but here I am still hurting and unable to find my way back to being content in all situations. Thank you for your wise words.

How do you cultivate die-to-self love and love God and others more?

Two great questions from different readers, but with the same answer: You can’t. This is something God has to work in you. You can’t sanctify yourself.

When it comes to sanctification and spiritual growth, we often cast about for a plan we can implement to start making things happen, kind of the same way that, when we want to lose weight, we reach for a diet book, join a gym, or call Jenny Craig.

Sanctification doesn’t work that way. There’s no such thing as a “get holy quick” scheme. There’s no program you can implement, book you can read, or specific behavior regimen you can initiate that will help you shed those unsightly sins and lose those pounds of character flaws. There’s nothing you can do to create growth and get the guaranteed results you’re looking for. That’s God’s job. It’s His job to grow you, and it’s His job to grow you in a way that guarantees He’ll get the results He’s looking for.

Your job is to get up every day, trust Him to do His job, and walk faithfully with Him by…

  • Studying your Bible
  • Praying- for help, for wisdom, for guidance, for strength
  • Being faithful to your church
  • Obeying the Word
  • Faith, trust, and utter dependence on God
  • Getting good counsel when you need it from godly friends and loved ones, your pastor, or spiritually mature women in your church

That’s God’s plan. His method. And it works every time it’s tried.

You might find some of the principles in my article You Don’t Need *A* Book, You Need *THE* Book to be helpful on this.

I often don’t know what to pray. Can you give me guidance and whether pre-printed prayers are a good idea or not and if so how they should be used. 

I’ve got tons of resources on prayer here at the blog. I hope you’ve been able to find them (using the search bar, tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, or category cloud in the right or bottom sidebar) in the time since you originally asked this question.

I would recommend starting off with…

Basic Training: 8 Things You Need to Know about Prayer

After this Manner, Therefore Pray

Can We Talk?

Sweet Hour of Prayer: Learning to Pray from the People of Scripture (my Bible study on prayer)

And then you can just start plowing through all of my other articles of interest about Prayer.

There’s nothing sinful about praying a biblical, doctrinally sound pre-printed prayer back to God. The best way to do that is to pray Scripture back to God, because you know Scripture is biblical, doctrinally sound, and pleasing to God since He breathed it out. The Psalms are especially well suited for this (in fact, praying the psalms back to God is one of the components in our current Bible study, Psalm 119: The Glory of God’s Word). You might want to take a look at my article Praying Scripture, to get a feel for it.

Outside of the Bible, the only prayer book I’m familiar enough with to feel comfortable recommending is The Valley of Vision. What I would recommend it for is reading through it for an example of the things we should be praying for and about, rather than using it for reciting or actually praying the prayers in it (although, like I said, it’s not sinful if you do). Your prayers should be personal, between you and God.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Asked and Answered

Michelle Lesley

Good Monday morning, readers. It is an honor and a joy to serve you in Christ. Welcome to all the newbies and to you seasoned veterans of the blog.

Because some of y’all are new, you aren’t yet aware of all of the resources here to help you. Or maybe you’ve been around a while and haven’t noticed something that might be helpful. Let’s remedy that!

First, if you’re new (or if you’ve never read it), check out Blog Orientation for New Readers and Old Friends. It’s like a CliffsNotes intro to the blog.

Second, be sure to familiarize yourself with all of the tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of the page. That’s where I keep the info I’m most frequently asked about.

Third, there’s a search bar at the bottom of every page (and one in the blue menu bar at the top of every page) which might help you find what you need.

Fourth, if you don’t find your question answered in one of these ways or below, you might want to check previous Asked & Answered articles and The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs.

And finally, let me get you new readers some answers to the questions several of you have asked. Some of you long time friends may have missed these along the way, so I hope they’ll be helpful to you, too!

I’m a man who wants to use one of your Bible studies for my personal quiet time. Is that OK?

Is it OK for a man to teach one of your Bible studies to a co-ed class?

I don’t get this question frequently – maybe a handful of times a year – but that’s enough that I’ve added this statement to the Bible Studies tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page):

“From time to time I receive inquiries from men about using my studies for their personal quiet time or for teaching a co-ed or men’s Bible study class. It is my personal conviction that it is more in keeping with the spirit (though not the letter) of 1 Timothy 2:12, Titus 2:3-5, and related passages for men to use Bible study materials authored by men rather than by women. Therefore, on the honor system, I would request that men please not use my studies for personal use, or when teaching a class with male members. (Vetting the studies for your wife, daughter, or the women of your church, is, of course, fine. Encouraged, actually.)”

Is it biblical for a woman to pray at the opening of the church service?

Is it biblical for women to participate in gathering the giving on Sunday morning?

Is it OK for women to ask questions in a co-ed class or group if the pastor or teacher invites those present to do so?

Great questions! I’ve answered all of them in my article Rock Your Role FAQs. Numbers 15, 22, and 4, respectively.

Is The Bible Project a doctrinally sound teaching resource?

No. I’ve addressed that in this article. Pastor Gabe “WWUTT” Hughes has written an excellent article about the biblical (technically heretical on some points) issues with TBR. I went ahead and linked it at my Popular False Teachers and Unbiblical Trends tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

You seem to be saying we should talk to God during prayer, but we should not try to listen for God’s guidance during prayer…But are we not supposed to pray about big decisions before we make them? If someone is deciding on taking a different job, or moving to another state, or getting married, isn’t that person supposed to pray about making the right decision? There isn’t a passage of Scripture that says “Jane Doe should marry John Smith in AD 2022.” What about pastors, who say God “called” them into ministry?

Do you think instead of praying specifically about a decision, we are supposed to pray for wisdom according to James 1 and then make our own decision, trusting God has given us the wisdom to choose correctly?

You’re circling the bullseye. I think my article Basic Training: 8 Steps to Finding God’s Will for Your Life will help. I didn’t specifically address pastors having some sort of Damascus Road-type “calling” to the ministry in that article, but the same principles apply. The Bible doesn’t say men will receive some sort of supernatural calling to the ministry. It says, “If any [man] aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task,” (1 Timothy 3:1) and that he must meet certain biblical qualifications. If a man desires to be a pastor and he meets the biblical qualifications, he should start prayerfully putting the principles in that article into practice, trusting God to guide him in his pursuits.

As Christians, do we participate in celebratory life events of sin? For example- I had a family member (professes to follow Christ) throw a housewarming party for another family member living with her boyfriend. They bought a home together & are not married. I also had another family member (professor of Christ) become pregnant outside of marriage & naturally my family wanted to throw a big baby shower. How do those of us who honor Christ with our life handle such events?

It can be an uncomfortable invitation to receive, for sure. I’ve addressed the baby shower question in my article The Mailbag: Should I Attend the Baby Shower?. And let me just clarify a distinction between a shower for a woman who conceived out of wedlock and these other scenarios. A woman who conceived out of wedlock sinned – past tense. She may have since repented. Also, the purpose of a shower is to give her things she will need for the baby, not to celebrate or help perpetuate an ongoing sin such as the ones mentioned below. That is something to weigh if you’re trying to decide whether or not to attend a shower.

Amy and I briefly addressed the “housewarmings for shack ups” issue in our Pride, Pronouns, & Prodigals episode of A Word Fitly Spoken:

Let’s get things kicked off with a question that really came to the forefront a couple of years ago when same sex “marriage” became legal: Should Christians attend homosexual weddings?

And really, this answer also applies to any sort of event that celebrates, normalizes, or helps codify an ungodly union: events celebrating transsexualism, homosexual wedding receptions or showers, housewarming parties for a homosexual couple or even for a heterosexual couple that’s going to be living together, a celebration of adoption for a homosexual or non-married heterosexual couple, or even – I don’t know if these are still a thing or not, but divorce parties.

The short answer is, Christians should not be helping people celebrate their sin. We should be sharing the gospel with them so they can get saved out of their sin.

Attending a wedding or any of these other events implies that a person is in favor of the union or the sin that’s being committed, and no matter how much we love the person, Christ calls us to love Him more and not participate in or give approval to sin.

You might also wish to read my article The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend a Homosexual “Wedding”? since some of the same principles mentioned in it apply to these other scenarios.

You regard John MacArthur as someone who is biblically sound – I beg to differ with you, as he claims (and directly answered a question asked of him) if after taking the mark of the beast, can a person change their mind (claim Christ) and still get to heaven….his response was “yes.” Absolute unbiblical doctrine….that’s all I’m bringing up at this point – he is leading people to HELL!

No he isn’t “leading people to HELL!” and you’re making a slanderous false accusation against (assuming you’re a genuinely regenerated Believer) a brother in Christ. Repent.

This claim against John MacArthur is the urban legend that will not die, no matter how many times it’s clearly and biblically refuted (I guess because people with this attitude want to discredit him and will grasp at any straw to do so, no matter how flimsy.). It’s been going on for over ten years now. I get some form of the screaming neemie “JOHN MACARTHUR IS A FALSE TEACHER!!!!!” email or message several times a year. I’ve heard it all before and it’s all still a lie. No need to send me any more messages about it.

I’ve addressed this issue here.

Seriously, stop. Repent.

Is it wrong to bail on a Bible study if you find error in the teachings?

Nope. In fact, most of the time, I would recommend it, as long as you’re sure it’s the study, not your beliefs, that’s in error. You may find my article The Mailbag: Should I attend the “Bible” study to correct false doctrine? to be helpful.

I was wondering if you have any info on homeschooling on your site that is biblical?

Yep, on both of my sites. Amy and I recorded an A Word Fitly Spoken podcast episode on homeschooling called NOW are you ready to homeschool? And, a while back, my readers suggested some Christian homeschooling blogs here.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Church

Throwback Tuesday ~ Revive Us Again

Michelle Lesley

I’m flip-flopping the blog schedule a tad this week.
Enjoy this week’s Throwback Thursday – on Tuesday!

Originally published August 12, 2009

Thirty three per cent of clergy and thirty six per cent of laymen
report having visited a sexually explicit web site.
Christianity Today survey, August 2000

The divorce rate of born-again Christians (32%)
is higher than that of atheists and agnostics (30%).
Barna Research Group 20081

Twenty per cent of women who have abortions
are born-again or Evangelical Christians.
The Alan Guttmacher Institute, 1996

We rarely find substantial differences between
the moral behavior of Christians and non-Christians.
George Barna, Founder, Barna Research Group

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless,
how can it be made salty again?
It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out
and trampled under foot by men.
Jesus, Matthew 5:13

Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, my parents took my sister and me to visit some of our elder relatives. For the evening meal, the lady of the house set a beautiful, formal table, complete with lovely crystal salt cellars at each place.

Having attended approximately zero formal dinners in my decade-long, casual dining existence, I had never seen a salt cellar. Since it happened to be sitting next to my goblet of unsweetened iced tea, I presumed it was my own personal sugar bowl.

I was puzzled as to why the spoon was so tiny, but forged ahead in an attempt to sweeten my tea with spoonful after spoonful…of salt. After one swig, I realized my mistake, but to maintain decorum, I did my best to eat my meal while taking an occasional small sip of the tea-flavored salt water. It was a long dinner.

I have never been so thirsty for a fresh drink of water before—or since—that moment.

We, the body of Christ, are supposed to be salt. Look around. How are we doing? By and large, instead of the church making the world thirsty for the Living Water, we have become so worldly ourselves that we are in danger of losing our savor altogether.

The Western church, the American church, the local church, maybe even your church—is in desperate need of revival. Not a revival meeting. Revival.

Revival is not a special event to win the lost. It is a time when God’s people, both individually and corporately, humble themselves, cry out to God in repentance and return to a fresh, empowered, obedient love relationship with Him.

Aren’t you tired of seeing statistics like the ones at the beginning of this article? Tired of the church having so little impact on a lost and dying world? Tired of simply going through the motions in your spiritual life and at church? Have you ever, as I have, taken a step back, looked at your walk and your worship, and said, “There’s got to be more to the Christian life than this”?

There is more. Much more. God desires that we have a full, exciting, vibrant, dynamic relationship with Him. But it’s going to cost us. It will cost our pride, our time, our repentance, our obedience, and our priority. It will require that we become dissatisfied and uncomfortable with the status quo of complacency.

I think we’re up for the challenge.

Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity,
and revive me in Your ways.
Psalm 119:37

 

1Take these statistics with a “grain of salt”. :0) Not everyone who claims to be a “born-again Christian” in a poll actually is one, the divorce stat has subsequently been proved false, etc. The idea is that the world has infiltrated the church, and the church has embraced the world, and therefore, the behavior of way too many professing Christians is worldly.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: God saved me out of a false “church” … what do I do now?

Michelle Lesley

God recently saved me out of __________ “church” / religion. I’m not sure what to do next. I’m scared to start looking for a new church because I don’t know what to look for in a good church, and I’m afraid I’ll choose another bad one. And how do I “do” this whole Christianity thing, anyway?

I’ve received some variant of this question dozens of times, and it makes me so happy every time I do. God is still saving people, y’all! Doesn’t that thought just encourage your socks off and fill you with joy?

Whether it’s someone coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, Mormonism, Catholicism, a liberal/progressive “church,” or the New Age, walking through the doors of biblical Christianity is thrilling, but can also be a bit daunting.

As someone who has been in church since my parents brought me home from the hospital, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around being new to the church and the things of Christ as an adult. It must be like landing on Mars, or at least in a foreign country where you don’t know the customs and don’t really speak the language.

When you’re doing something new, it’s always best to start by reading the directions. So here are a few basic directions that might be of help to you if you find yourself newly saved out of an unbiblical system and you’re not quite sure what to do next:

1.
Believe the biblical gospel.

The first priority is making sure you understand and believe the biblical gospel. I know you’re saying you’re saved, but, considering your background and my limited knowledge of where you are spiritually, and considering the fact that sooooo many churches and professing Christians do not know or rightly teach the gospel according to Scripture, I’m not sure what you’ve been told about how to be saved, or “become a Jesus follower,” or however it was put to you, but here’s the truth:

What must I do to be saved?

I strongly urge you – even if you’re 100% positive you’re saved – to take your time and slowly and prayerfully work your way through everything on this page to make sure you understand and believe what the Bible says about how to be saved.

Once you’ve done that, if you still need some reassurance that you’re saved, you might want to work your way through my Bible study Am I Really Saved?: A First John Check-Up.

There are two reasons nailing down your belief in the biblical gospel is the first and most important priority:

  1. If you’re not genuinely saved, you need to be, or you’ll die in your sins and spend an eternity in Hell. Even if you think you’re a Christian.
  2. If you’re not saved, you’re not going to understand or accept the things of Christ, and pretty much everything in Christianity and the church is going to rub you the wrong way. First Corinthians 2:14 says: The natural [unsaved] person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

2.
Find a church.

The next most important thing is getting you into a doctrinally sound church where you can be taught God’s Word properly.

For Christians, membership in and faithful attendance at a doctrinally sound church is not optional, and is non-negotiable. The Bible knows nothing of “Lone Ranger” Christians. For 2000 years, even in places of harshest persecution, like first century Rome or current day North Korea, the church has found a way to meet together, even if it had to be in secret.

And yes, this means physically attending worship service and other gatherings, not watching it on Zoom, assuming you are physically/medically able to do so and a decent church within achievable driving distance is open. (If not, you’ll have to find another way to meet together with fellow Christians.)

(Notice, I did not say, “If you’re not afraid to go,” or “a church that’s nearby”. There are Christians in the world today who, every time they meet together, are risking imprisonment, torture, and execution. And some of them travel for hours in very primitive modes of transportation just to meet with the church. Prayerfully consider, just between you and the Lord, if you might need to sacrifice your fear or drive a bit longer for the privilege of meeting with His people. Jesus didn’t promise us a bed of roses. He promised us a cross. It’s time to pick it up and carry it. This is what we signed on for.)

Go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Start your search for a church by reading all of the resources under What to look for in a church including all of the links contained in those resources.

When you’re finished with that, go back to the top of that page and use the search engines to find a good, solid church in your area. Personally, I would recommend starting with the Founders search engine first, then the The Master’s Seminary search engine, then the others.

When you’ve found a church, start visiting it. Set up an appointment with the pastor to ask any questions you might have. Prayerfully consider whether or not this church is a fit for you – a place where you can learn, grow, and serve. If it is, join it. If not, go back to the search engines and find another church to start visiting.

Helpful hint: You’re not going to find a perfect church. Churches are made up of imperfect saints who still sin and make mistakes. Find the best one you can and help make it better.

3.
Get plugged in.

Don’t just sneak in to the back of the sanctuary just as the Sunday morning worship service is starting and sneak back out during the final prayer.

Get invested in the life of your new church. Find a Sunday school / Bible study / small group class to join. Go to midweek services or prayer meeting. Go to fellowships and special events. Get to know people. Find a place to serve.

Be faithful in your attendance. Don’t just go only when you feel like it. Be there at least every Sunday morning unless you’re unavoidably detained. If you wanted to learn chemistry or math or underwater basket weaving, you’d show up for class, right? Well, if you want to learn and grow as a Christian, you’ve got to show up for church.

And if you ever have any questions, never be afraid to ask your pastor, elders, or teachers.

4.
Study up / Pray up

Bible study and prayer are crucial for the Christian. They help you grow, and they foster sweet fellowship with the Lord. Don’t let them loom as some big, scary, new thing that you don’t know how to do. They’re both very simple.

Prayer is simply talking to God. Tell Him what’s on your heart. Ask Him to help you and provide for you. Ask Him to help others. Thank Him for all He’s done for you. Confess your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you. You might find some of my articles on prayer or my Bible study on prayer to be helpful.

Studying your Bible isn’t as hard as it sounds, either. Start by making sure you have a good translation. Then, pick a book of the Bible. Start at chapter 1, verse 1, and make your way through the book, verse by verse until you get to the end. Then start over again with another book. A few tips:

  • Many Christians find that about a chapter a day is a good amount to study, but take your time and study the amount of Scripture that seems to be a fit for you.
  • You might want to have a notebook and pen handy for jotting down any notes or thoughts that occur to you about the text as you’re studying.
  • If you’re new to studying the Bible, I would recommend starting by reading one (or maybe all four) of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – the first four books of the New Testament). Genesis is also a good book to read as you’re getting your bearings in Bible study.
  • If you need help studying your Bible, click the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. There are lots of resources to help you learn how to study the Bible, plus all the Bible studies I’ve written. My studies are designed to help you learn how to study the Bible in a “learn by doing” sort of way. Maybe you’d like to work through one of them until you get the hang of studying your Bible on your own.

In addition to Bible study and prayer, I would suggest reading the articles in my Basic Training series. This is sort of a “Christianity 101” series of articles. If you’re new to Christianity and the church, this should help explain some of the things we do, why we do them, and the proper biblical way they should be done.

I would also recommend that women read my Rock Your Role series of articles. This series explains what the Bible says about the role of women in the church.

Welcome to the family, and may God richly bless you as you seek to grow in Him.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.