Mailbag

The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs

Originally published September 7, 2020

I get lots of great questions, and sometimes, they’re the same questions from lots of different people. So I thought today it would be fun, instead of answering just one person’s question, to answer lots of people’s questions. Here are the top 10 Mailbag questions readers most frequently ask:

1.

โ€œDo you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is s/he doctrinally sound?โ€

The best way to find out if I’ve written anything on a particular teacher is to put her name (make sure you spell it correctly) into the search bar, which is located at the bottom of every page of the blog. You can also check the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab and the Recommended Bible Teachers tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) to see if the teacher’s name is located there.

If you need answers on a certain teacher right away, and I haven’t written anything about her, you will need to do the research yourself, which is a skill every Christian needs to hone anyway. (You should never just take my, or anybody else’s, word for it that a particular teacher is or isn’t trustworthy.) In case you need a little help getting started, I’ve described how I do my research, complete with some quick litmus tests and shortcuts in my article Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring It Out on Your Own

If I haven’t written an article about a teacher you see as problematic who’s reaching a wide audience, you’re welcome to send me her name along with any links you may have to her unbiblical teaching or behavior. If I get enough questions about a particular teacher, Iโ€™ll probably write an article on her.

2.

โ€œCan you recommend a good
womenโ€™s/children’s/teens/particular topic Bible study?โ€

No. On principle, I do not recommend what I call “canned” (book, workbook, DVD, etc.) Bible studies- not even doctrinally sound ones. The church has become so utterly dependent on books and materials written by others that the majority of evangelicals have no idea how to simply pick up the Bible and study or teach straight from the text of Scripture. I may be the only one to stand against that tide, but I’m standing against it. We need to, as a general practice, cut out the middleman and get back to learning and teaching straight from the Bible itself.

If studying or teaching directly from Scripture is new to you, I would encourage you to check out the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, which explains more about my philosophy of Bible study and provides numerous resources to help you learn how to study or teach the Bible itself.

One of the resources you’ll find is all of the Bible studies I’ve written. They are all free, all suitable for individual and group use, and you are welcome to print out as many copies as you need. My studies are learn-by-doing “training wheels” that teach you: how to study/teach the Bible in a systematic way, the kinds of things you should be noticing in the text, the kinds of questions you should be asking of the text, and how the various parts of the Bible fit together to tell God’s grand story of redemption through Christ. Work through a study or two. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be ready to unbolt those training wheels and study or teach on your own without needing to rely on anyone else’s materials any more – including mine.

Here are a few additional resources:

The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?

The Mailbag: โ€œWe need to stop relying on canned studies,โ€ doesnโ€™t mean, โ€œWe need to rely on doctrinally sound canned studies.โ€

McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word

3.

โ€œYou shouldnโ€™t be warning against [popular false teacher]
for [X,Y,Z] reason!โ€

Sorry, but that’s not what the Bible says. The question isn’t, “Why am I warning against them?”. The question is, “Why aren’t you?”

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objections

4.

I’m trying to find a doctrinally sound church. Can you help me?

It is my delight to help my brothers and sisters find a solid church. Please check out the Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

If you’re newly saved and/or coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, prosperity gospel, New Age, Catholicism, Mormonism, etc., I would strongly recommend reading through all of the resources in the “What to look for in a church” section of that tab before beginning your search for an actual church. You need to know what makes a church doctrinally sound (or not), and those resources can help.

Notice that there are multiple church search engines at the top of that tab. If you don’t find something in your area at the first search engine, go to the next one, and keep going until you’ve exhausted all of them.

Keep in mind that doctrinally sound churches are becoming scarcer and scarcer. You may have to drive longer than you’d like to get to one. It may not meet all your preferences. You might have to try a different denomination than you’re used to. The most doctrinally sound church you can find within achievable driving distance may have a few biblical “warts” (for example: a generally solid preaching/teaching church but the women’s ministry uses materials by false teachers). It is possible that God may put you in that less than perfect church to sanctify you, or for you to help bring about biblical change.

Sometimes people e-mail me asking if I can help them find a church. Your best bet is really to use all of the resources at the “Searching for a new church” tab. I want to reassure you that, unlike Walmart, I don’t have any churches in the back store room that haven’t been stocked yet. With the exception of a handful of churches my readers have recommended that I haven’t had a chance to vet yet, everything I have is out on the shelves at that tab. :0) (I would also encourage everyone reading this – if you attend a doctrinally sound church, click the link above and see if your church is listed on at least one of the three most popular church search engines: Founders, G3, and/or Master’s Seminary church search engines. If not, talk to your pastor about submitting your church’s information to one or more of these so people can find you! You are also welcome to submit your church for inclusion on my Reader Recommended Churches list, but that list doesn’t reach nearly as many people as the aforementioned other three do.)

If you’ve made a good faith effort at the “Searching…” tab and have exhausted all of the resources there, and you still can’t find a passable church within achievable driving distance, you have two options (one of which is not giving up on church and staying home): move to an area that has a solid, established church, or look into church planting.

If you’re considering moving for a church, do everything in your power to make sure that church is solid and is going to stay that way. Find out about their history. Watch their worship services online regularly for a few months. Set up a Zoom call with the pastor or elders, explain your situation, and “interview them”. Don’t be shy to ask any, and as many questions as you need to. You’re picking up your entire life and moving based on what they say. Churches are apostatizing at an alarming rate. The last thing you want to do is move somewhere for a church you thought was sound, only to have it take a turn toward sin or false doctrine six months after you get there.

Personally, I think church planting is the preferable option for at least two reasons. First, you don’t have to go through the hassle, logistics (“Will I be able to find a job in this new place?”), and emotional upheaval of leaving family and friends behind that comes with moving. Second, if you’re in an area where you can’t find a good church, neither can any of your neighbors. You could be the person God uses to bring a solid church to an area without a gospel witness. How amazing would that be? Pick up the phone or fire up your email and start contacting the church planting organizations listed. Explain your dilemma. Ask for their help. If none of the church planting organizations can help, contact the nearest doctrinally sound church, explain things to the pastor, and ask about his church planting a church in your area.

5.

(I’m combining two questions here because the answers to both, and the resources for both, are similar and overlap.)

The leadership at my church is kicking off a new Bible study using materials by a false teacher. What should I do?

It breaks my heart that this is, indeed, a frequently asked question. Please see my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher theyโ€™re introducing?.

My friend is following a false teacher. How can I help her see this? 

Here are some resources that can help:

Words with Friends: How to contend with loved ones – at A Word Fitly Spoken (many additional resources linked here)

Words With Friends by Amy Spreeman

Clinging to the Golden Calf: 7 Godly Responses When Someone Says Youโ€™re Following a False Teacher 

6.

My church uses …
or
I’m looking for a new church,
and I found one that’s really sound, except they use…
Bethel / Jesus Culture / Hillsong / Elevation music
or other music from heretical sources.
What should I do?

Please see my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher theyโ€™re introducing?. You can find information about Bethel, et al at the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Some other resources that may be helpful:

Why Your Church Should Stop Playing Bethel, Hillsong, Elevation and Jesus Culture

The Mailbag: False Doctrine in Contemporary Christian Music

7.

Whaddaya mean women can’t preach to men? Of course they can!

Again, sorry, but that’s not what the Bible says. I would strongly encourage you to read all of the articles in my Rock Your Role series, which examines the Scriptures dealing with the role of women in the church. (Remember, for Christians, God’s Word is our authority, not our feelings, opinions, and preferences.) I would suggest starting with these:

Jill in the Pulpit

Oh No She Di-int! Priscilla Didnโ€™t Preach, Deborah Didnโ€™t Dominate, and Esther Wasnโ€™t an Egalitarian

Rock Your Role FAQs

The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism

8.

Why isn’t Teacher X listed at your Popular False Teachers tab?
Does the fact that she’s not listed mean she’s doctrinally sound?
Why isn’t Teacher Y listed at your Recommended Bible Teachers tab? Does the fact that she’s not listed mean she’s a false teacher?

Please understand that these are not comprehensive lists of every false teacher or doctrinally sound teacher in existence. There are thousands of both, so that would be impossible. Also, don’t jump to conclusions about any teacher who’s not on the list. The absence of a particular teacher’s name on either list says nothing definitive about whether or not I would recommend that teacher.

The articles I’ve written about false teachers have mainly been in response to readers inquiring about them. In other words, if you donโ€™t see a particular teacher’s name on the list, itโ€™s probably because I havenโ€™t been asked about her, I’ve been asked about her but havenโ€™t had time to get to it yet, or for one of the reasons below.

The teachers on the recommended teachers list are those I’ve personally listened to or read at enough length that I feel comfortable endorsing them. Most of the teachers on the list trend toward being Calvinistic/Reformed and cessationist because I believe this is the most biblically correct view of Scripture, and because, in my experience, those of these persuasions are generally more discerning about associating with false teachers, and more expository in their teaching. (Of course there are some non-Calvinist/Reformed pastors and teachers who are stellar in these areas. I’ve had the privilege of knowing a few personally.)

There are a few other reasons you might not see someone’s name on either the false teachers or the recommended teachers lists:

โ€ข My articles on false teachers are nearly always about teachers: who are well known (thus the “Popular” in “Popular False Teachers”), who women in my particular audience – average American evangelical women – are most likely to follow, and whose materials are being used in those average American evangelical women’s churches. It takes multiple hours of research to vet teachers, and I have to invest those hours into the teachers who are deceiving the greatest numbers women in my audience.

โ€ข I don’t tend to write articles on teachers who are so blatantly heretical and/or are so well known for being heretical that it should be obvious (unless I feel there’s some compelling reason to do so). This is why you won’t see, for example, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, or Nadia Bolz-Weber on the false teachers list. Kenneth and Benny are fairly well known for being prosperity gospel heretics, and a 30 second Google search should make it obvious to most Christians who aren’t already familiar with her that Nadia is a liberal heretic. And, again, your average American evangelical woman isn’t following people like this, and her church isn’t using their materials.

โ€ข Normally, I don’t write about contemporary teachers who are dead, especially if they’re not particularly popular with my demographic. This is why you don’t see names like Mother Teresa or David Wilkerson on the list.

9.

I have a dire and complicated family/marriage/church situation,
can you help me?
Can you mentor/disciple me?

I deeply wish I could answer “yes” to all of these inquiries. I’m a helper. I want to help people. But I also know that in most of these situations, I’m not the right person for the job. So my answer to these inquiries has to be “no”. I cannot engage in counseling or discipling/mentoring relationships via e-mail.

The first reason for this is that my primary duty before the Lord is to care for my husband, children, and grandchildren, to manage my household, and to be a faithful church member. That takes a lot of time and energy. And if you’ve ever read my e-mail policy, you know I don’t even have time to answer most of the e-mails I receive, let alone the time that’s required to properly disciple, mentor, or counsel someone through a difficult circumstance.

But the second reason I’m not the right person for the job is that all of these are the job of the local church. It’s not right for me to get between you and your pastor when you need counsel or between you and an older sister at your church when you need to be discipled. You need someone who can walk with you, face to face, for the long haul, through these situations. Relying on me would be cheating yourself out of connecting with the person at your church who could be there for you the best and help you the most.

And, finally, especially in dire counseling situations such as abuse, extreme marital problems, or complex issues at church, I’m not familiar with the laws and resources in your area, I’m only hearing your side of the story, I’m not getting all of the details, etc. Your pastor or an older sister at church is there. They can better help you navigate the intricacies of the situation and provide you with more effective solutions than I can.

10.

I’d love to come hear you speak in person.
When will you be speaking in my area?

As soon as someone sets up an event and invites me! I am delighted to speak anywhere I’m invited and that can host me.

The best way to be sure you’ll be able to make it to one of my conferences or events is to set one up at your church (or in conjunction with another local church(es)) or parachurch organization. I know that probably sounds daunting, but I’ve spoken at lots of small churches with limited resources, and it might not be as difficult as you think! I’ve also provided lots of helpful hints and resources at my Speaking Engagements tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) so you don’t have to break the bank or re-invent the wheel.

The second best way to keep up to date on whether or not I’ll be speaking in your area is twofold:

  1. Go to my Speaking Engagements tab and scroll all the way to the end of the page where it says “202- Calendar”. I list all of my upcoming speaking engagements there, along with where they’re located and registration information.
  2. Subscribe to my blog via email. From time to time, I’ll create an article listing all of my upcoming events, their dates, locations, and registration information.

Hope to see you soon at an event near you!


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Ministry, Worship

Real Ministers of Musicโ€™s Wives of Anychurch, U.S.A. ~ Part 2

Originally published April 10, 2014

diverse-group-of-women

Iโ€™ve been married to a minister of music for over 20 years. My husband has served at many different churches in a variety of capacities: on staff, interim, supply, revivals, conferences, retreats, etc. Over those 20+ years and in those various capacities, Iโ€™ve observed a number of things about him, pastors, church musicians, and congregations from a unique vantage point.

Now, with a little help and a lot of input from a few sister minister of musicโ€™s wives, itโ€™s true confession time. Time for us to tell all, here in Part 2 of Real Ministers of Music’s Wives of Anychurch, U.S.A.ย 

You can read Part 1 here.

Turn Your Radio On, and Listen to the Music in The Air
The minister of music understands that there are songs we love to sing along with on Christian radio or Spotify that weโ€™d also like to sing in church, and, in a lot of cases, heโ€™d probably like to, too. There are a variety of reasons why the songs we like might not get sung in church:

  • ย Itโ€™s a solo. Most of the songs we hear on the radio (especially contemporary ones) are written and performed as solos, and donโ€™t work for congregational singing because: the timing is difficult for a large group to follow, there are too many spontaneous riffs and change ups, there are complicated and/or numerous bridges and tags that are difficult for large groups to follow, etc. Not every song works for large group singing.
  • tube-radio-67772_640
    ย The lyrics contain faulty or watered down theology. The minister of musicโ€™s job is to lead us in worship. We canโ€™t worship if weโ€™re singing something that conflicts with Godโ€™s Word or doesnโ€™t focus on Him and His nature, character, and deeds.
  • The accompanists arenโ€™t comfortable with it. A lot of the songs people want to sing in the worship service can be difficult for pianists and other instrumentalists whose main experience is in other genres of music. While every musician should strive to improve his skills, the minister of music doesnโ€™t want to put his accompanists on the spot if theyโ€™re uncomfortable with the technical requirements of the music.
  • Your minister of music isn’t comfortable with it.ย If the minister of music is in his 60’s he may not feel he can carry off a top ten CCM song made popular by somebody in his 20’s, especially if he doesn’t have a worship band equal to the one we’re used to hearing on the radio.
  • Thereโ€™s no sheet music available. Or itโ€™s not available in the right key or for the right instruments, etc.
  • Itโ€™s โ€œoff limitsโ€. Occasionally, and for various reasons, the pastor, elders, or others in leadership over the minister of music will make a decision that a certain song is not to be used in the worship service. Depending on the circumstances, there may not be a diplomatic way to explain this to people who love that song and want to sing it in church.
play-piano-7626_640

Play Us a Song, Youโ€™re the Piano Woman
Just by way of information, not every minister of musicโ€™s wife plays the piano. Iโ€™m one of them. Sorry. I wish I could.

sing-201027_640


One Singular Sensation
Regardless of how many pop stars got their start by singing in church, the purpose of the worship service is to worship God. There are many wonderful and talented soloists who, in humility and faithfulness, pour their hearts out to God in song at their local churches and do a great job of it. There are also a few divas on their way up the ladder looking for a stepping stone to greatness. Church isnโ€™t American Idol. Find a karaoke bar.

Fool boy is waiting his girlfriend

Show a Little Bit of Love and Kindness
Itโ€™s always encouraging for a minister of music to hear that he did a great job with the choir or that you really worshiped this morning. Itโ€™s encouraging when a pastor mounts the platform for his sermon and says thank you, or “I really liked that song,” or refers back to/quotes one of the songs during his sermon. Little things like that go a long way, so offer your minister of music a word of encouragement when you can.

Also, if your church participates in pastor appreciation month (usually the month of October), please donโ€™t forget your minister of music, youth pastor, associate pastor, etc. They all work hard to shepherd you, and it doesnโ€™t feel good to be left out.

War- What is it Good For?
The worship wars (contemporary worship music vs. traditional hymns) are alive and well. Sometimes, rather than being a general in that war, our minister of music might just be a casualty of it.

Competition

Everybody has particular genres of music that weโ€™re most comfortable with. When a different style comes along, it can be jarring. It can cause angst. It can cause arguments. But when we worship God, our focus is not to be on what makes us happy or comfortable. Often, we get so concerned about whether the worship at church pleases or offends us that we donโ€™t stop to think about whether it pleases or offends God.

But thatโ€™s the main concern of the minister of music. Which songs, regardless of style, will be pleasing to the Lord and lead people into truth about Him? While heโ€™s trying to do his best to sort this out week by week, heโ€™s possibly being pulled in a variety of directions by a variety of people over style. How many people will leave the church if we sing more hymns than contemporary songs? How many people will stop giving in the offering if we sing more contemporary songs than hymns? Whoโ€™s going to accost me after church and complain? How will the pastor and elders react to this weekโ€™s order of service? It can be a lot of pressure and take his focus off of where it needs to be: what will be pleasing to God?

Just as one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, the songs we don’t like might just be someone else’s favorite. What if we looked at singing the songs we don’t particularly like as a way to serve and encourage our brothers and sisters in the congregation who do like those songs?

th

Whyโ€™s Everybody Always Pickinโ€™ on Me?
Thereโ€™s no nice, sweet way to say this, so Iโ€™m just gonna throw it out there. Church members can sometimes be mean. I mean, mean. Let me hasten to add that most of the time, most church members are not. The majority of church members are kind, loving, supportive, and definitely appreciated by the pastor and staff. However, the others are definitely out there. I have seen church members treat pastors, ministers of music, and other church staff the way I wouldnโ€™t treat a dog. Thereโ€™s no excuse for that.

The minister of music isnโ€™t perfect. There may be times when he does something unbiblical or hurtful and at those times, itโ€™s necessary for the appropriate person to talk with him, under the provisos of Matthew 18, about whatever is wrong. But there are other times when people get their feathers ruffled โ€“even though the minister of music hasnโ€™t done anything wrong or unbiblicalโ€”simply because their personal preferences havenโ€™t been catered to.

Itโ€™s OK to talk with our ministers of music about things, even personal preferences, but letโ€™s do it in an encouraging and helpful way rather than a griping or attacking way. Screaming, threatening, name calling, constant complaints, and nasty anonymous notes and emails are never appropriate, and if thatโ€™s what is transpiring, then the problem is not with the minister of music itโ€™s with the person whoโ€™s acting that way. If we know that a member of our church is acting that way towards anyone, pastor, staff, or layperson, we must intervene and be a catalyst for making things right.

God calls us to encourage one another and build each other up, so letโ€™s get at it! Letโ€™s try to affirm our ministers of music (and pastors and other staff!) whenever weโ€™re able!

 

What’s something you can do
to be an encouragement to your minister of music?

Ministry, Worship

Real Ministers of Music’s Wives of Anychurch, U.S.A. ~ Part 1

Originally published April 3, 2014

four-women-walking-in-a-line-holding-hands

Iโ€™ve been married to a minister of music for over 20 years. My husband has served at many different churches in a variety of capacities: on staff, interim, supply, revivals, conferences, retreats, etc. Over those 20+ years and in those various capacities, Iโ€™ve observed a number of things about him, pastors, church musicians, and congregations from a unique vantage point.

Now, with a little help and a lot of input from a few sister minister of musicโ€™s wives, itโ€™s true confession time. Time for us to tell allโ€ฆ

Sing, Sing a Songโ€ฆ
Singing is often the only opportunity church members have (besides the offering) to take an active role in worship. Letโ€™s all take advantage of it!

congregation-worshipping

The music portion of the worship service is just that: worship and service, but sometimes we can slip into thinking of it as โ€œfiller timeโ€ before the โ€œmain eventโ€ of the sermon. If weโ€™re spending the music time chatting with our friends, checking Facebook on our phones, knitting, or clipping our nails (sadly, yes, Iโ€™ve seen all of those happen) arenโ€™t we robbing God and ourselves of the precious few hours per week we set aside for worship? Is it fair to God to spend the time weโ€™re supposed to be worshiping on these kinds of distractions? God commands our worship and God deserves our worship. So, letโ€™s give God our full attention and worship Him!

aretha-franklin-respect-1967-3

R-E-S-P-E-C-T โ€“ find out what it means to your minister of music.
The minister of music doesnโ€™t just roll out of bed on Sunday morning, jump up on the platform, and wave his arms around for thirty minutes. He works hard during the week to plan a worship service that honors God and grows and trains the congregation spiritually. He often does so amid a number of challenges: the varied talents of his accompanists, a hymn request by the pastor or a church member, bugs in the sound system, musicians going out of town, the choir soloist getting the flu. He rehearses with the instrumentalists, the praise team, the choir, and others. When he stands in front of us to lead the music, he deserves the same respect we give the pastor when he preaches or a teacher imparting knowledge or someone at work whoโ€™s making a presentation: our attention.

Someone To Watch Over Me
Singing in the choir or on the praise team kinda goes hand in hand with being a minister of musicโ€™s wife, so weโ€™re often up on the platform near our husbands. I need to tell you a little secret:

We can see you out there.

congregation-worshipping

It is incredibly encouraging to see people who are focused on Christ and engaged with Him as theyโ€™re worshiping. Itโ€™s obvious theyโ€™re communing with their Savior and thinking about Him as they sing. It makes the minister of music feel like heโ€™s been successful in helping them connect with the Lord in worship.

On the other hand, itโ€™s very discouraging to see people with their hands stuffed in their pockets, not singing, or, conversely, mindlessly rattling off lyrics, and with a countenance that says, โ€œIโ€™d rather be at the dentist.โ€ I once saw a televised worship service where the congregation was singing the hymn, โ€œAll that Thrills My Soul is Jesus.โ€ It would be difficult to describe just how unthrilled most of them looked. The word โ€œcorpsesโ€ comes to mind.

Jesus said to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we engage all four of those areas in worship, weโ€™re not just pleasing Him by our obedience, Heโ€™s growing us into stronger, more mature Believers. And thatโ€™s the best encouragement of all for our minister of music.

Where He Leads Me, I Will Follow
We minister of musicโ€™s wives are blessed that our husbands have, for the most part, worked under pastors who are supportive and set a great example for their congregations. Pastors, you have an enormous influence on your congregation even when youโ€™re not aware of it. And one area in which you may not be aware that church members are watching and emulating you, even when weโ€™re not aware of it, is during the music portion of the worship service.

hymn_singing

Your congregation can see you during the worship time, whether youโ€™re sitting on the stage or in a pew. What you convey with your own behavior about the importance of worship, we will absorb and reflect. If you are engaged and sing heartily to the Lord, we will get the message that you think God is worthy of all of our worship and we will follow suit. If you spend the worship time engaged in other activities, we will get the message that worship time is more like the coming attractions before a movie than a time to join in and commune with the Lord through what we sing.

Additionally, when your congregation is actively engaged in worship, it gets our hearts prepared to soak up the message you have for us in your sermon. So, when youโ€™re worshiping with gusto, youโ€™re not only setting a great example, youโ€™re also getting people right where you want them: ready to drink in Godโ€™s word!

Part two of this article is on its way!

What are some things you appreciate about your
minister of music or worship leader?

Encouragement, Holidays (Other)

Words Fitly Spoken: 11 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor

Originally published February 23, 2018

I hope you have the blessing of sitting under good, biblical preaching at your church. I do. I’m always so thankful to hear God’s word beautifully preached in my own church, and I’m thankful for the all of the other godly men out there laboring faithfully each week to proclaim the truth of the gospel to the sheep God has entrusted to them.

Are you thankful for your pastor and a church that rightly handles God’s Word? Are you telling anybody you’re thankful? Are you telling your pastor?

The ministry is a tough job, and pastors need all the encouragement they can get. Sometimes it’s the little things you say and do that can be a blessing to your pastor and make his job easier and more joyful. Proverbs 25:11 says:

The ministry is a tough job, and pastors need all the encouragement they can get. Here are eleven ways you can encourage your pastor (and don’t forget your associate pastor, minister of music, youth pastor, etc.!)

Here are eleven ways you can encourage your pastor (and don’t forget your associate pastor, minister of music, youth pastor, etc.!)

1.
Pray for your pastor

Some specifics you can pray for:

๐Ÿ’ญ His wife and children

๐Ÿ’ญ His stress level, and for peace

๐Ÿ’ญ His finances and provision

๐Ÿ’ญ His marriage, and that he will be a good father

๐Ÿ’ญ That God will grow him in his understanding and handling of Scripture

๐Ÿ’ญ That God will grow him in discernment, and guard him from being influenced by false teachers/doctrine

๐Ÿ’ญ That God will protect him from temptation and lead him to repentance when he sins

๐Ÿ’ญ And here are even more ways to pray for your pastor.

Remember to tell your pastor you’re praying for him, and ask him if there’s anything in particular you can pray for him about.

2.
Show Up

First of all, Scripture says you’re supposed to be a faithful, active member of your local church. Second, it’s very discouraging to pastors when church members who are perfectly able to attend faithfully simply choose to let other, non-essential things take precedence.

3.
Be Present

Pay attention, be engaged, and have a pleasant look on your face during the sermon. If you’ve ever stood in front of a group of people, you know how easy it is to tell who’s “with you” and who’s not. And the more “with yous” there are out there, the more encouraging it is.

4.
A Word of Thanks

Just say thank you. Thank you for being my pastor, for being faithful to the Word, for encouraging me, for working so hard, for studying well…

Just say thank you. Thank you for being my pastor, for being faithful to the Word, for encouraging me, for working so hard, for studying wellโ€ฆ

5.
Submit to His Leadership

Take Hebrews 13:17-18 seriously:


Yes, there are abusive pastors out there. Yes, there are pastors who are flagrantly disobedient to Scripture in their leadership. If that’s your pastor, leave that church and find a pastor you can trust (yes, I know it’s hard), and whose leadership you can submit to. Don’t be the constantly complaining, argumentative, nit picky thorn in your pastor’s side.

6.
Don’t Major on the Minors

If you do need to speak to your pastor about something you disagree with him about, whenever possible, try to make sure it’s a biblical issue rather than an issue of preference, and make sure you do it in love and kindness, not in an attacking way.

7.
Wait, Mr. Postman…

Isn’t it nice to open your mail or e-mail and find something besides bills and bad news? Send your pastor a note, card, or e-mail of encouragement.

Isn’t it nice to open your mail or e-mail and find something besides bills and bad news? Send your pastor a note, card, or e-mail of encouragement.

8.
C is for Cookie (and Calories)

Think before you bake. When I want to send someone a little token of encouragement, my first instinct is always to bake something. But a lot of pastors, like everyone else these days, are dieting, so use wisdom. Maybe a gift card to his favorite store or restaurant, a book by his favorite author, or a service he needs performed would be better. Here are some more ideas if you want to give your pastor a token of appreciation.

9.
Fitly Spoken Words

Tell your pastor something you learned from the sermon or how God has been growing you through his preaching. Let him know how your Sunday school class is maturing. Tell him about the good progress that’s being made in the committee you serve on or the ministry you serve in.

Tell your pastor something you learned from the sermon or how God has been growing you through his preaching.

10.
Perfect Timing

Do not pull your pastor aside right before the service to discuss anything that could wait until later. He needs to be focused on preaching and worship. And don’t detain him for long after the service, either. He’s probably hungry, tired, has to go to the bathroom, and wants to get home to his family. Make an appointment during the week.

11.
Nobody’s Perfect

Remember that your pastor is human. He’s going to sin. He’s going to get things wrong. Don’t assume he knows why you’re upset with him. Don’t hold a grudge. Extend the same grace you would to anyone else, and forgive.

What are some other ways we can encourage our pastors?

Christian women, Church, Complementarianism, Men

Adam 3.0: Meanwhile, Back in the Garden, It’s Deja Vu All Over Again

Originally published June 26, 2014

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

1 Timothy 2:12-14

Because it’s my passion to see Christian women become holy, passionate, obedient disciples of Jesus Christ, I’ve dealt with this passage a lot and done a lot of research on it. Scripture is crystal clear that women are not to instruct men in the Scriptures in the church in the capacity of pastor or teacher, nor are they to hold authority over men in other positions in the church. (I’ve outlined Scripture’s case for this here if you’d like to do some further study.) And, unfortunately, there are many women in the church who are disobeying this Scripture (I used to be one of them)– some out of rebellion, and some out of ignorance. But until recently, I –and every other piece of information I’ve studied on the subject– have dealt with the issue of women stepping outside their God-ordained role in the church strictly as a women’s issue.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked for my opinion on a Q&A video produced by a well known pastor. The pastor was asked, “Is it a sin for men to listen to women speakers [female Christian conference speakers, pastors, teachers, etc.]?”

And that’s when it hit me. I’d never heard this question addressed, or even asked, before. First Timothy 2:12ff is always dealt with from the perspective of women and towards women – that this is a women’s sin issue.

But to treat this role rebellion strictly as the sin of women is to pour gasoline on the fire. If it’s a singularly women’s problem, then it naturally falls on women with a right understanding of God’s Word on the issue to deal with it, right? And if these women are the ones who have to confront and deal with this sin, even at the local church level, they’re being placed smack dab in the misappropriated role they’re trying to fight because they’re being asked to do the job of elders and pastors whose responsibility it is to maintain order and discipline in the church.

In other words, when it’s time to deal with the sin of role busting, don’t send a woman in to do a man’s job.

When it’s time to deal with the sin of role busting, don’t send a woman in to do a man’s job.

The fact that there’s even a need for an article like this, never mind that a woman is writing it, is indicative of the pervasiveness of the problem. Why do we so rarely hear pastors or other Christian men exhorting men in the church to stand on God’s Word, properly fill out their own role in the church, and also deal with the problem of female disobedience to this Scripture? Why are Christian men becoming accomplices to women’s sin by seeking out female pastors and teachers to be their spiritual leaders? I believe there are three reasons:

The fact that there’s even a need for an article like this, never mind that a woman is writing it, is indicative of the pervasiveness of the problem.

1.
Adam 3.0

Give Genesis 3–the story of the Fall–a read through the lenses of 1 Timothy 2:12. See any similarities between what happened in the Garden and what’s happening in the church?

The man is off somewhere, not fulfilling his role of spiritual guardian, leader, and protector, leaving the woman alone and vulnerable to Satan’s attack. Satan tempts the woman to sin and she succumbs. The woman then entices the man to sin, and instead of standing on God’s Word, refusing to sin, and correcting her, he actually joins her in her sin. And when God calls the man to account for this whole scenario, what does the man do? He blames the woman.

Was Eve responsible for her decision to sin? Of course. That’s why we even have 1 Timothy 2:12-14 in the Bible. But God gave the man the authority and God held the man ultimately responsible. That’s why we see passages like Romans 5:12-14 (and others) attributing the sin in the Garden to Adam rather than Eve.

While there are many faithful pastors and Christian men out there diligently laboring to be godly teachers and leaders in the church–and praise God for those men!–there is a large and increasing number of men in our churches, both pastors and laymen, who are failing to fulfill the role God has called men to in the church. Pastors who will only preach what tickles people’s ears. Men who sit in the pews refusing to teach or serve or lead or even attend faithfully.

As it was in the Garden, these Christian men are nowhere to be found as Satan creeps into the church and attacks women with this temptation. And, as God called out then, could He be calling out now, “ืึธื“ึธื, – Adam- Man, where are you“?

As God called out then, could He be calling out now, “ืึธื“ึธื, – Adam- Man, where are you”?

2.
Men are lazy.

I know that sounds harsh, but before all the brothers get their boxers in a bunch, please hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that all men are lazy or that women are never lazy or that men are lazy in every aspect of their lives. What I’m saying is that, in this particular instance of women stepping outside God’s role for them in the church, too many men are sitting back with the attitude that, hey, if somebody else is willing to do the work why not let her? Instead, women (not to mention boys and younger men) should be seeing men in the church step up and say, “I’ll study hard so I’ll be equipped to teach that class.” “I’ll preach the sermon, not my wife.” “I’ll be willing to shoulder the load God has given me instead of pushing it off on a woman.”

Women (not to mention boys and younger men) need to see men in the church step up and say, “I’ll be willing to shoulder the load God has given me instead of pushing it off on a woman.”.

3.
Men are afraid of women. 

Not afraid of them physically, but afraid of the ones who will make a scene, cause strife, split churches, get pastors fired, and generally make life hell on earth for anyone who dares to put his foot down firmly on the Word of God and say, “You’re in disobedience. You need to repent and step down.” I know these women (and, of course, there are men who do this, too). I have had plenty of them come after me, and, having a husband who’s been in ministry for over 20 years, I’ve seen plenty of them attack pastors, staff, deacons, etc., and I don’t blame men for feeling scared. But Jesus has called men to defend His Bride from all enemies, both foreign and domestic, and feeling scared doesn’t excuse them from doing what’s right and biblical. Would that godly men would look to the courage Jesus exhibited on His way to the cross. That they would look at Peter, Paul, James, and the other apostles as their example of valor, as these forebears in the faith chose flogging, hardship, jail, and martyrdom over compromising the Word of God.

Would that godly men would look to the courage Jesus exhibited at the cross. That they would look at Peter, Paul, James, and the other apostles who chose flogging, hardship, jail, and martyrdom over compromising the Word of God.

Churches don’t need pastors who are afraid to rock the boat, even if that’s what the church seems to want. Churches need a man who will stand for Christ and His Word, no matter the cost to him personally or vocationally. A pastor can’t call his people to do that in their own lives if he isn’t willing to do it in his, knowing that the God who was strong enough to save him out of the pit of Hell is strong enough to find him another job and provide for his family if it comes to that. We need pastors who are faithful to preach and carry out the Word in season and out of season, trusting Almighty God to have their backs.

Churches don’t need pastors who are afraid to rock the boat, even if that’s what the church seems to want.

God has given women a phenomenal, and much needed, role in the church. He has given men a different, yet equally phenomenal and much needed role in the church. For the local church to function in a healthy way, both men and women have to fill out our own roles correctly. And women can’t and shouldn’t have to do the job of godly men in addition to our own.

Women can’t and shouldn’t have to do the job of godly men in addition to our own.

Some might regard my tone here as stringent. Peter, Paul and the other apostles probably raised some eyebrows when they used a stringent tone, too. But when a house is burning down, the fireman doesn’t tiptoe in, hand you flowers, and politely request that you, pretty please, come with him. And that’s where we are in the church. The house is burning down around us. And, in the end, this article is not meant to be a castigation of pastors or other Christian men, but an impassioned plea from a church lady who wants to see her sisters make it out alive.

Help us. Please. Despite what some professing Christian women might say, we, and the body of Christ, desperately need our brothers to be the heroic men of God that they have the right, the calling, and the responsibility to be.

Women, and the body of Christ, desperately need our brothers to be the heroic men of God that they have the right, the calling, and the responsibility to be.