Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11
Loving our children isn’t something that just happens. It also isn’t just a nice fuzzy feeling. It’s a duty. A responsibility. A command from the lips of God Himself.
“…if GodSOloved us…” What does that “so” mean? It’s talking about the way God loves us.
By this the love of God was manifested in us, thatGod has sent His only begotten Soninto the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10
God loved us enough to do what was best for us even though it cost Him that which He held most dear. He loved us sacrificially and unselfishly.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in thatwhile we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Even when we were living in outright rebellion against Him and didn’t care that he wanted what was best for us, God loved us.
Forwhom the LORD loves He reproves; Evenas a father corrects the son in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12
God loves His children too much to allow us to continue in our sin, so He disciplines us.
But God,beingrich in mercy, because ofHis great love with which He loved us Ephesians 2:4
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,just asGod in Christ also has forgivenyou. Ephesians 4:32
But, even as God disciplines us, in His mercy he forgives us when we repent of our sin.
The steps of a man are established by the LORD; AndHedelights in his way. Whenhe falls, he will not be hurled headlong; Becausethe LORD is the One who holds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24
God delights in our obedience to Him and our love for Him. And even when we fall, He’s right there holding our hand and helping us get back up.
He who has clean hands and a pure heart; Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood; And has not sworn deceitfully.He shall receive a blessing from the LORD; And righteousness from the God of his salvation. Psalm 24:4-5
God rewards and blesses obedience to His Word.
Do we love our children the way God loves us? Do we love them…
sacrificially and unselfishly?
enough to want what’s best for them?
enough to follow through and do what’s best for them even if they fight us every step of the way?
enough to discipline them?
enough to forgive them?
by delighting in them?
by blessing and rewarding them for doing well?
It’s a huge challenge. Our kids are going to drive us up the wall, rebel, pout, whine, and at times, break our hearts. Just like we do to God. But if He so loved us, we ought also to love our children.
Read all ten of the Ten Commandments of Parenting!
The world has all kinds of ideas about how you and your “significant other” should spend Valentine’s Day. Some aren’t too bad, but others are downright depraved. Want some ideas of things you and your husband, kids, friends, or church family can do together instead? How about these? Have fun!
Want some ideas of things you and your husband, kids, friends, or church family can do together on Valentine’s Day? Check these out!
1. Invite your Sunday School class or small group over for desserts and fellowship.
2. Snuggle up under the covers and read the Old Testament book of Song of Solomon with your husband.
3. Have a get together with your single friends.
4. Visit a local tourist attraction you’ve never been to before.
5. Volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center.
6. Go antiquing.
7. Go on a miniature golf date with your husband.
8. Have a snowball fight- parents versus kids.
9. Invite another couple to go to a canvas painting place.
10. Play Twister.
11. Re-read your favorite book.
12. Go for a mother-daughter mani/pedi.
13. Fingerpaint with the kids.
14. Take a nap.
15. Cook dinner with your husband.
16. Plan a family game night.
17. Have a pillow fight.
18. Go shopping with the girls.
19. Schedule a family photo session.
20. Roast marshmallows over the fire.
21. Bake cookies for some of the shut-ins in your church.
22. Trade skills. Teach your husband how to do a small task he doesn’t know how to do (make a pie crust, fold a fitted sheet…) and let him teach you how to do something (change a tire, tie a tie…).
23. Play frisbee at the park as a family.
24. Play with your pet.
25. Hand out tracts and share the gospel at the mall.
26. Babysit for a single mom.
27. Get out the play dough and play with the kids.
28. Plan a family hike.
29. Host a Bible study in your home.
30. Get the whole family cuddled up on the couch and take turns with your husband telling “when I was a kid” stories to the kids.
31. Clean out a closet.
32. Watch a (clean) romantic movie with your husband.
33. Have a family haiku-writing contest.
34. Play video games with the kids.
35. Jump on a trampoline.
36. Invite a couple for dinner that you and your husband would like to get to know better.
37. Binge watch your favorite classic TV series.
38. Pray for and write a letter to a missionary as a family.
39. Check out a class or community event at your local library.
40. Plan a family vacation.
41. Look up and read every Bible verse with the word love in it.
42. Get some friends together to sing a few hymns at a nursing home.
43. Write and exchange love letters with your husband.
44. Have a tickle fight.
45. Go out to dinner at a restaurant you’ve never tried before.
46. Get a facial.
47. Gather some girlfriends and volunteer at a battered women’s shelter.
48. Get a couple’s massage.
49. Flip through old photo albums with the kids.
50. Take a bubble bath.
What are some other fun Valentine’s activities you can think of?
…so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…
Ephesians 4:14-15
Christians who know what discernment is have a variety of perspectives about how it should be practiced. Should we teach about false doctrine at all or just make sure our church is teaching sound doctrine? Should we name the names of false teachers or speak about them anonymously? Should we warn people away from false teachers or just pray for them privately? What’s the biblical precedent for using a stringent tone when speaking of those who teach false doctrine?
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “speaking the truth in love” from Ephesians 4:15 as it pertains to speaking and writing about false doctrine and false teachers.
Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.” We’re always smilingly sweet and never say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings or could rock the boat at church.
Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.”
Are we to be kind? Yes. Are we to do our best not to hurt others? Of course. Should we be making waves over every little thing that rubs us the wrong way? Absolutely not. We are to deny ourselves, setting aside our personal preferences and, in many cases, even our own rights, to the point of laying down our lives for others.
We need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. We die *to* personal preferences. We die *for* the purity of biblical doctrine.
But we need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. And that’s where I think a lot of people get confused. We die to personal preferences. We die for the purity of biblical doctrine. The enemy is stealthily infiltrating and conquering church after church with false doctrine. We are at war. And that’s going to mean ruffling feathers, rocking the boat, and hurting feelings sometimes. Because the full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.
The full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.
Well, think about the concept and practice of “love.” Love always has an object. We don’t just say, “I love.” We say, “I love my children,” or “I love peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.” Speaking the truth “in love” is not as much about our demeanor or tone of voice as it is about the object of our love. It’s our love for others that compels us to speak biblical truth. And it’s that same love for others that should drive the manner in which we speak the truth.
So when it comes to speaking the truth about false doctrine, how should we be motivated by love? And love for whom?
We love Christ– As Christians, our love for Christ should motivate everything we do. If we’re speaking truth from fleshly motives such as pride, the desire to make a name for ourselves, or the competitive drive to win an argument, everything we say can be 100% factually right and we can still be spiritually in the wrong because the motive of our heart is wrong. God isn’t a debate judge awarding us points for compelling arguments. God weighs the heart.
We love God’s Word– To love Christ is to love the Bible because Scripture is literally God Himself speaking to us. Besides the cleansing of the temple, the passage in which we see Jesus’ righteous anger displayed most clearly is Matthew 23. Here, Jesus delivers a scorching rebuke to the scribes and Pharisees for twisting God’s Word and, in doing so, leading people away from the truth of Scripture. It is only natural for those of us who have the mind of Christ and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit to have that same love for God’s word and feel righteous anger over the maligning of it.
We love the church– To love Christ is also to love His bride, the church. Christ gave his life to cleanse the church “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Seeing Christ’s bride blemished and corrupted by false doctrine should grieve us deeply and motivate us to call the church to be cleansed “by the washing of water with the Word.”
We love the captives– Paul speaks of false teachers “who creep into households and capture weak women.” Often, the women who follow false teachers simply don’t know any better. Though Scripture is clear that they’re complicit in their own captivity, they are casualties and prisoners of war held hostage by the enemy. We are to love them enough to show them the truth of God’s word so that “they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
We love the enemy– Every Christian was at one time an enemy of the cross. Every last one of us. Until someone loved us enough to intervene with the truth of the gospel. False teachers – those who, despite biblical correction, unrepentantly teach doctrine which is plainly refuted by Scripture – have made themselves enemies of the cross, even if they call themselves “Christian,” even if they wear the title of “pastor,” even if they’re holding a Bible in their hands and refer to it occasionally as they “teach” us.
In the same way that a loving sister would not turn a blind eye and hope for the best if her sibling began using drugs and became increasingly addicted, it is not loving to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.
*It is not loving* to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.
Sometimes – just as with the drug abuser – this can be accomplished early on with a private word of correction. And sometimes – as with the addict – more extreme measures of “tough love” and intervention must be employed. But we always love them enough to desire that they come to repentance and embrace the truth.
Our love for these also drives the manner in which we speak truth to them. A good soldier would never deal with a civilian casualty in the same way he would fight off an enemy bent on waging war. Likewise, part of discernment is knowing who the enemy is (and is not) and dealing with people in a biblically appropriate way. This requires humility, wisdom, thorough proficiency with our tools and weapons, unceasing prayer, and complete dependence on and self-crucifying love for our King. We trust in Him and His Word to guide us in the wise and loving way to humbly speak His truth.
Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it?
Everything.
Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it? Everything.
I can tell by the sound of your jaw hitting the floor that you’re shocked.
To repeat the details would be to repeat the offense, so, suffice it to say, it was the metaphorical equivalent of walking across a room and knocking over a really expensive vase. It wasn’t a sin, per se, it was just one of those oafish things we all do from time to time simply because we’re fallen humans living in a fallen world.
Blessedly, God protected the other person and me from the brunt of my bumbling. And then a beautiful thing happened. The other person passed over the incident as if it hadn’t even happened.
Wow.
Now, I can’t tell you the number of times God has had to protect me from my own stupidity (both sinful and non-sinful). One of my favorite passages is Psalm 103:13-14:
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:13-14
In other words, God knit together every cell in our bodies and knows every thought and action of our lives from conception to death. Nothing unexpected there, for Him. He knows what He’s got to work with. So, God being God and all, maybe it’s not so surprising that He might have that perspective. He knows all of our weaknesses and still shows us compassion. (Don’t mistake my lack of surprise for lack of gratitude. I would be a smoking crater in the ground if God didn’t treat me with that kind of mercy and compassion. I am extremely grateful for it.)
What’s downright unfathomable in this day and age of everybody wearing his feelings on his sleeve, and wanting to absolutely obliterate anyone who causes him the least amount of agitation is for one human to pass over the failure of another. Scripture tells us:
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11
Not- confront the person and demand an apology. Not- stop speaking to the person and carry a grudge until I feel he’s been sufficiently punished. Overlook. Act like it didn’t happen. Refuse to let it change your relationship with the person. Fuhgeddaboutit.
These days, that’s rarer than a modest outfit on a Hollywood starlet, even among professing Christians.
And it shouldn’t be. Because the Bible also says:
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Luke 6:31
Remember that? The Golden Rule? What happened to treating others the way we would want to be treated if we were in their shoes? Yes, pernicious sin in the Body needs to be dealt with by confronting the person in mercy, love, and a spirit of restoration, but what about those non-sinful, unintentional human foibles that land in our laps? Can’t we adopt that same mercy and grace God has towards us and our weaknesses and extend it to others?
I want to get better at that. Because when you get right down to it, we’ve got enough people freaking out and flying off the handle these days. All that does is make everybody tense and unhappy. Not to get all “peace, love, and harmony” on y’all, but, well…couldn’t we use a little more peace, love, and harmony as we do life with other humanoids? And of all the people peace, love, and harmony could come from, shouldn’t it be coming from Christians first? Let’s extend some extra grace and give people room to be human. Everybody’s going to need it at one time or another.
After all, the next bumbling moron to come along just might be you.
Don’t lift a finger for people who won’t lift a finger for you.
Don’t allow people in your life who don’t deserve to be there.
Hardly a day goes by that I don’t see something like this on Facebook. Clearly, there are people who are violent that we need to stay away from for our own physical safety, and marital problems absolutely must be resolved, but those aren’t what this line of thinking seems to be addressing. It’s talking about the difficult people. We all have them in our lives. You’re probably thinking of some right now.
The constant complainer.
The drama queen.
The narcissist.
The annoyance.
The just plain unlovely.
Maybe it’s a family member, a neighbor, or a co-worker. Somebody who’s in your life for some reason, only you wish she weren’t.
The world’s advice: abort people. If they’re negative, if they don’t further your success, if they drain you, if they’re somehow undeserving of your time and attention. Just cut them out of your life. Abort them.
The world’s advice: abort people. If they’re negative, if they don’t further your success, if they drain you, if they’re somehow undeserving of your time and attention. Just cut them out of your life. Abort them.
Christians are on the front lines of the battle against literal abortion. “Every life is precious,” we say, and that’s as it should be. But somehow, the world’s abortive mentality has crept into our thinking when it comes to the relationships we have with others. Babies are being killed because they’re inconvenient, they’ll hinder someone’s pursuit of success, or they have a disability, and we’re – rightly – grieved and outraged, but do we have any pangs of conscience when it comes to throwing away that inconvenient friend or that personality-handicapped family member? Is every life really precious?
Do we have any pangs of conscience when it comes to throwing away that inconvenient friend or that personality-handicapped family member? Is every life really precious?
We serve a Savior who loved the unlovely. Took time for the inconvenient. Invested in the drains. He felt their loneliness and rejection and knew the pain of being scorned.
Because He was one of them.
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:2b-3
Jesus stopped along the roadside, not for those who would further His success, but for those who were needy. He called the awkward and personality impaired “brother.” He called a betrayer, “friend.” Even those who wielded the whip, embedded the thorns, and drove the nails didn’t hear, “Go to hell,” but, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Yes, there are people who are so difficult that we may have to love them from afar, taking time between each encounter with them to pray, recover, and forgive.
But we must remember who we were called to be.
I love, not because people deserve it, but because He first loved me.
