Forgiveness – Page 6 – Michelle Lesley

“If you had not plowed with my heifer,
you would not have found out my riddle.”
judges 14:18

I love this verse. It’s in the story of Samson, which I’m studying in depth right now, and it makes me giggle every time I come to it. Ripped from its context, it doesn’t make much sense (most Bible verses don’t), so go read Judges 14 really quickly. It’s only twenty verses. It shouldn’t take you more than ten minutes to read. I’ll just wait right here.

Done? Ok. Now you know the context, and you know Samson wasn’t talking about farming. He was talking about his wife. Now, ladies, before you get your bloomers in a ruffle, Samson wasn’t calling his wife a heifer, he was using a metaphor. He could just as easily have said, “If you hadn’t eaten sweet and sour shrimp with my chopsticks…” Well, if he were Chinese and if sweet and sour shrimp had been invented.

But anyway... it still wasn’t the most flattering metaphor a man could choose when referencing his wife, which got me thinking about Samson’s wife and their marriage. They messed some things up, big time. Things that they could have avoided messing up by being obedient to God’s commands about marriage. Maybe we could learn a few “noble,” or “no-bull,” if you prefer, things for our own marriages from Mr. and Mrs. Samson in Judges 14:

Maybe we could learn a few “noble,” or “no-bull,” if you prefer, things for our own marriages from Mr. and Mrs. Samson in Judges 14…
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1.
Don’t be an unequally yoked heifer (v. 1-3)

Although the Philistines were not one of the nations God specifically forbade Israel to intermarry with, God’s principle of not marrying foreigners would have been a good one for Samson to follow. Why? Because only Israel worshiped the one true God. All of the other nations were pagan. They will “turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods,” God told them. “But Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she is right in my eyes.’” (3) In my eyes. Not in God’s eyes. In Samson’s eyes. Samson wasn’t interested in what God wanted for his marriage. Samson was only interested in what Samson wanted.

As Believers, our hearts should long to obey Christ and to want what He wants for our lives. In 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, God tells us we are not to seek to bind ourselves together in any close relationship with unbelievers. That includes (but is not limited to) marriage. As God told the Israelites, an unbeliever will lead you away from the Lord. Husbands and wives should push each other towards Christ. A lost husband can’t lead you to greater godliness. If you are not yet married, do not marry someone who isn’t saved, whose life does not display the spiritual fruit of someone who has been genuinely born again.

Don’t be an unequally yoked heifer.
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2.
Leave and cleave: plow with the bull you’re yoked to (v. 16-20)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast [cleave] to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

This doesn’t mean that we cut all ties with our parents when we get married. It means that we are now committed, first and foremost, to our spouses. We stand with them before, and sometimes against, everyone else.

Samson and his wife both had problems with this, as many newlyweds do. Samson’s wife, instead of standing with her husband by being honest with him about what his companions were up to and trusting him to protect her, ended up siding with “her people” (17) out of fear, by nagging Samson into telling her the answer to the riddle. Samson showed that he was loyal to his parents over his wife when he said in verse 16, “Behold, I have not told my father nor my mother [the answer to the riddle], and shall I tell you?” And when the whole fiasco was over, instead of going back and working things out with his wife, he abandoned her and went back home to live with his parents. (19-20)

Ladies, our husbands come first when it comes to loyalty, unity, bonding, and family decisions. Not our moms, our sisters, our best girlfriends, or even our children. And our husbands are to exhibit that same loyalty to us. Don’t hook yourself up to another plow.

Leave and cleave. Plow with the bull you’re yoked to.
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3.
Don’t moonipulate; commoonicate (v. 16-17)

Pack your bags, we’re going on a guilt trip. And Samson’s wife had a saddlebag full of every vixenish wile she could squeeze in: emotional manipulation, shame, blame, nagging, and relentless pressure. Samson’s wife provides us with the perfect example of how not to communicate with our husbands.

Samson’s wife provides us with the perfect example of how *not* to communicate with our husbands.
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We can all be tempted to use underhanded methods of getting what we want, but the God who tells us not to lie, to speak the truth, and not to act in selfish ambition but to put others first, is not a God who is pleased by such behavior. God is honored when we treat our husbands with kindness, respect, and honesty, and trust God enough to leave the outcome to Him.

Don’t moonipulate, commoonicate.
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4.
Do the no-bull thing: forgive. (14:19-15:1)

While Samson may have had understandable reasons for being angry at both his companions and his wife, and while God may have used a bad situation to take out some of the enemies of His people, God calls husbands and wives to forgive one another.

Again, Samson shows us what not to do. Consumed by his anger, he abandoned his wife and seems to have held a grudge against her for a good while. When he finally went back with a peace offering, it wasn’t a pretty scene.

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27

When we’re angry, self control can go out the window, making it easier to give in to Satan’s temptations to sin. Instead, it is God’s will for us to “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”.

Forgive. It’s the noble thing to do.

Do the no-bull thing: forgive.
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This article was originally published at Satisfaction Through Christ on May 7,

Guest Posts

Guest Post: The Ministry of Encouragement ~ Part 2

April 19, 2016May 19, 2019 Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com, and let’s chat about it.

pam carney encouragement 2

The Ministry of Encouragement, Part 2
by Pam Carney

Before reading this post, you need to read this previous post for context. Click Here. In God’s providence, Michael and Pam were at the same conference in early April, 2016! Here is Pam’s version of the same story told by Michael in the other post.

Michael’s words to me at the Final Four 2015 did not fall on as humble a heart as he may have thought. That day, I was still in my pride of “taking matters into my own hands” attitude, although I did not show it. I listened to him and did appreciate what he was saying, but all the while I was thinking I knew better. Deep down inside, I knew he was right, but was suppressing the truth by my own unrighteousness. The Holy Spirit was at work bringing about conviction. When I saw Michael this past weekend at Ohio Fire, I confessed to him that I had had resentment in my heart from that encounter. It felt so good to tell my brother that.

Not only was I being convicted, but the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah that Michael reminded me of, by God’s grace, took root and shortly after our talk on the street that day, I did end up becoming free from that particular sin. After that Final Four weekend I received more disciplining and was granted repentance by God to turn from preaching on the street and usurping authority over men.

The freedom comes from letting the men be the men and do their job the way God made them to do it. Talk about “women’s lib!” I was liberated from my own selfish ambition to preach the Gospel in a way that godly women ought not. The freedom to be who God made me to be, and to fulfill the work He has for me, as a woman. The freedom from rebelling against my Creator.

The bottom line is that God didn’t make women to take on the role of preaching on the street. I was usurping God’s authority and sovereignty by preaching, and that is the worst sin of all.

The most beautiful lesson from this is that Christians must keep speaking God’s word, the truth, into one another’s lives. God put Michael in my path that day and used him to accomplish His purpose for me.

I praise our Lord Jesus for lovingly sanctifying me through my sin and doing the work in me that only He knows how to do; and only He can accomplish.

Pam Carney was called to be a disciple of Jesus at age 42. She is involved with street evangelism in Detroit and surrounding metro, door to door in Dearborn to Muslims, and abortion mill ministry. She also works in a secular industry. Her passion is to share Christ anytime, anywhere. Please visit Turn2Christ, run by Pam and her bretheren from church.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.

Parenting, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 9

January 14, 2016January 11, 2016 Michelle Lesley

Originally published July 14, 2008

9.
Thou shalt be forgiving.

“bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” Colossians 3:13

Imagine a home where there was no forgiveness. Anger and bitterness would reign supreme. Old wounds would be nursed and rehearsed. Grudges would be held tightly as treasured friends. Is this kind of home healthy for anyone, let alone children? Is it Christlike?

Of course not. In our homes, the place where we are most inclined to let it all hang out, forgiveness is even more vital than in any other venue. If you have a husband and/or children, you know that the people who live in your house are going to mess up. Royally, at times. And guess what? So are you.

How will you want to be treated when you mess up? I’m guessing that while you’ll understand your family will be disappointed in you, you’ll still want them to find it in their hearts to forgive you once they work through that disappointment. In obedience to the “Golden Rule” (Luke 6:31), therefore, you’ve got to extend forgiveness when your husband or children offend you.

When we forgive each other, we paint a picture of God’s forgiveness. Just as God does not condone our sin when He forgives us, the forgiveness we extend on the human level does not mean that the offender’s actions were OK. It is merely a way of saying, “I’m going to let this go instead of continually holding it against you.”

God deeply values forgiveness. It is the entire reason He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth and allowed Him to be brutalized to death. Jesus endured all that pain and degradation so that each of us could be forgiven for offending God. And, if God could go through all of that to forgive us, how could we – out of love for Him – ever refuse to forgive our loved ones?

Old Testament, Wednesday's Word

Wednesday’s Word ~ 2 Chronicles 15

October 7, 2015October 6, 2015 Michelle Lesley

2 chron 15 15

2 Chronicles 15

The Spirit of God came upon Azariah the son of Oded, ²and he went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin: The Lord is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. ³For a long time Israel was without the true God, and without a teaching priest and without law, ⁴but when in their distress they turned to the Lord, the God of Israel, and sought him, he was found by them. ⁵In those times there was no peace to him who went out or to him who came in, for great disturbances afflicted all the inhabitants of the lands. ⁶They were broken in pieces. Nation was crushed by nation and city by city, for God troubled them with every sort of distress.⁷But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.”

⁸As soon as Asa heard these words, the prophecy of Azariah the son of Oded, he took courage and put away the detestable idols from all the land of Judah and Benjamin and from the cities that he had taken in the hill country of Ephraim, and he repaired the altar of the Lord that was in front of the vestibule of the house of the Lord. ⁹And he gathered all Judah and Benjamin, and those from Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon who were residing with them, for great numbers had deserted to him from Israel when they saw that the Lord his God was with him. ¹⁰They were gathered at Jerusalem in the third month of the fifteenth year of the reign of Asa.¹¹They sacrificed to the Lord on that day from the spoil that they had brought 700 oxen and 7,000 sheep.¹²And they entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and with all their soul, ¹³but that whoever would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether young or old, man or woman. ¹⁴They swore an oath to the Lord with a loud voice and with shouting and with trumpets and with horns. ¹⁵And all Judah rejoiced over the oath, for they had sworn with all their heart and had sought him with their whole desire, and he was found by them, and the Lord gave them rest all around.

¹⁶Even Maacah, his mother, King Asa removed from being queen mother because she had made a detestable image for Asherah. Asa cut down her image, crushed it, and burned it at the brook Kidron. ¹⁷But the high places were not taken out of Israel. Nevertheless, the heart of Asa was wholly true all his days. ¹⁸And he brought into the house of God the sacred gifts of his father and his own sacred gifts, silver, and gold, and vessels. ¹⁹And there was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of the reign of Asa.

Questions to Consider:

1. Who was Asa? Was he a godly or ungodly man? What are the two alternatives and their consequences that Asa was given by Azariah in verse 2?

2. Why did Azariah recite Israel’s history for Asa in verses 3-6? Why was Israel “without the true God, and without a teaching priest and without law” (3) for a long time? (Hint- see verse 8). What happened when Israel repented? (4)

3. Why was it so important to get rid of all the idols (8) to the point that the death penalty was imposed on anyone who would not seek the Lord (13)? Does God really take idolatry that seriously? If God considers idolatry so awful, how does this apply to the church, and individual Christians, today?

4. Getting rid of all the idols was an act of r_______. This was followed by sacrifices to God and an oath that the people would seek only Him. These were acts of w_______. How do the “big picture” ideas in this chapter of sin, followed by repentance and faith, followed by forgiveness and worship, foreshadow the gospel?

5. How do verses 12 and 15 connect to Matthew 22:34-38? How do Asa’s actions in verse 16 relate to Matthew 10:34-37?

Wednesday's Word

Wednesday’s Word ~ 1 Chronicles 21

September 30, 2015September 29, 2015 Michelle Lesley

1 Chronicles 21

Then Satan stood against Israel and incited David to number Israel. ²So David said to Joab and the commanders of the army, “Go, number Israel, from Beersheba to Dan, and bring me a report, that I may know their number.” ³But Joab said, “May the Lord add to his people a hundred times as many as they are! Are they not, my lord the king, all of them my lord’s servants? Why then should my lord require this? Why should it be a cause of guilt for Israel?” ⁴But the king’s word prevailed against Joab. So Joab departed and went throughout all Israel and came back to Jerusalem. ⁵And Joab gave the sum of the numbering of the people to David. In all Israel there were 1,100,000 men who drew the sword, and in Judah 470,000 who drew the sword.⁶But he did not include Levi and Benjamin in the numbering, for the king’s command was abhorrent to Joab.

⁷But God was displeased with this thing, and he struck Israel. ⁸And David said to God, “I have sinned greatly in that I have done this thing. But now, please take away the iniquity of your servant, for I have acted very foolishly.” ⁹And the Lord spoke to Gad, David’s seer, saying, ¹⁰“Go and say to David, ‘Thus says the Lord, Three things I offer you; choose one of them, that I may do it to you.’” ¹¹So Gad came to David and said to him, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Choose what you will: ¹²either three years of famine, or three months of devastation by your foes while the sword of your enemies overtakes you, or else three days of the sword of the Lord, pestilence on the land, with the angel of the Lord destroying throughout all the territory of Israel.’ Now decide what answer I shall return to him who sent me.” ¹³Then David said to Gad, “I am in great distress. Let me fall into the hand of the Lord, for his mercy is very great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man.”

¹⁴So the Lord sent a pestilence on Israel, and 70,000 men of Israel fell. ¹⁵And God sent the angel to Jerusalem to destroy it, but as he was about to destroy it, the Lord saw, and he relented from the calamity. And he said to the angel who was working destruction, “It is enough; now stay your hand.” And the angel of the Lord was standing by the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite. ¹⁶And David lifted his eyes and saw the angel of the Lord standing between earth and heaven, and in his hand a drawn sword stretched out over Jerusalem. Then David and the elders, clothed in sackcloth, fell upon their faces. ¹⁷And David said to God, “Was it not I who gave command to number the people? It is I who have sinned and done great evil. But these sheep, what have they done? Please let your hand, O Lord my God, be against me and against my father’s house. But do not let the plague be on your people.”

¹⁸Now the angel of the Lord had commanded Gad to say to David that David should go up and raise an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite. ¹⁹So David went up at Gad’s word, which he had spoken in the name of the Lord. ²⁰Now Ornan was threshing wheat. He turned and saw the angel, and his four sons who were with him hid themselves. ²¹As David came to Ornan, Ornan looked and saw David and went out from the threshing floor and paid homage to David with his face to the ground. ²²And David said to Ornan, “Give me the site of the threshing floor that I may build on it an altar to the Lord—give it to me at its full price—that the plague may be averted from the people.” ²³Then Ornan said to David, “Take it, and let my lord the king do what seems good to him. See, I give the oxen for burnt offerings and the threshing sledges for the wood and the wheat for a grain offering; I give it all.” ²⁴But King David said to Ornan, “No, but I will buy them for the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” ²⁵So David paid Ornan 600 shekels of gold by weight for the site. ²⁶And David built there an altar to the Lord and presented burnt offerings and peace offerings and called on the Lord, and the Lord answered him with fire from heaven upon the altar of burnt offering. ²⁷Then the Lord commanded the angel, and he put his sword back into its sheath.

²⁸At that time, when David saw that the Lord had answered him at the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite, he sacrificed there. ²⁹For the tabernacle of the Lord, which Moses had made in the wilderness, and the altar of burnt offering were at that time in the high place at Gibeon, ³⁰but David could not go before it to inquire of God, for he was afraid of the sword of the angel of the Lord.

Questions to Consider:

Verse 1 says that Satan “incited” (other reliable translations say “moved,” “urged,” and “provoked”) David to sin by numbering Israel. Did David have a choice in the matter? Was he forced to sin? What are some ways you can resist Satan when he tempts you?

2. First Corinthians 10:13 says God will always provide us a way of escape from temptation. What was one way of escape God provided to David? (3)

3. What was David’s response to God’s wrath over his sin- did he attempt to justify himself or did he repent? (8) Even though God would be pouring out His wrath on Israel, which attribute of God did David focus on and depend on in making his choice? (13)

4. How did David’s sin as a leader affect those under his authority? (14) Why is it extremely important for Christians in leadership (in the home, at work, at church, etc.) to walk in obedience to the Lord? Can you think of an example of how your sin has affected those around you or under your authority? What should you have done differently in that situation?

5. What were David’s first (16) and second (26) responses to God staying His hand? Did God accept David’s worship and forgive him? Why did David insist on paying Ornan for the site and materials for the sacrifice? (23-25) Is it really a sacrifice if it doesn’t cost you anything?

Tag: Forgiveness