Tag: Discernment

Mailbag, Worship

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Boundaries… Submit vs. address sin?… Discernment- Who do you think you are?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

This comment was left on my article, Taking Offense:

Thank you for this biblical truth: “Jesus taught us to…love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who curse us, pray for people who abuse us, turn the other cheek, give to those who want to take from us, treat others the way we want to be treated”. Are boundaries biblical then? Do we stick around when someone is pouring out non-stop criticism and verbally abusing us or talking behind our back? Family members can be the worst. People who are not following Jesus and who are consumed with darkness, hate people who are walking in the Light. I understand not taking offense, but in my experience, when I turn the other cheek to abusers, they keep abusing and hate you more. It is not good to allow them to sin against us because when their sin flows freely, it not only harms me but it harms them too. Thoughts?

Great question! It’s one Amy Spreeman and I have received numerous times over the past few years, so we’ve recorded a podcast mini-series on it!

Beautiful Biblical Boundaries- part 1 deals with the Scriptures and biblical precepts addressing boundaries. We discuss how and when to erect boundaries (and how and when not to). This episode is currently scheduled to drop next Wednesday, November 12.

In Beautiful Biblical Boundaries- part 2, we’ll answer listeners’ questions about boundaries in their own lives and relationships. This episode is currently scheduled to drop in about two weeks, on Wednesday, November 19.

Please note that the links above will not work until the dates specified.

This comment was left on my article, Marriage: It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To ~ 7 Ways to Take Your Focus Off Yourself and Put it Back on Christ (By the way, yes, I realize that the length of the titles of some of my articles rivals those of many of the Puritans’ books and pamphlets. I’m OK with that.😀)

I have a question about number 7…

This article pertains to normal, relatively healthy, Christian marriages. In other words, not abusive marriages. If you are being abused, get yourself and your children to a safe place, and call the police, your pastor, or a loved one for help.

Of course, I agree that we should be subject to our husbands. However, are we not to call them out gently on their sin when they are acting like “an ungodly jerk” according to various verses such as Proverbs 27:5, Luke 17:3, Matthew 18:15, and Galatians 6:1? I guess I’m just confused because both commands seem to contradict each other.

This is another super question! The short answer is, “Yes,” but as Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 tells us, “there is a time for every matter under heaven…a time to be silent and a time to speak,” and in the moment when your husband is acting like “an ungodly jerk,” he’s apt to respond poorly to his sin being exposed and corrected, which just compounds his sin. (And frankly, we wives usually respond just as poorly in that moment when the shoe is on the other foot.)

In that moment, generally speaking, it’s usually a time to be silent, and, assuming he’s not asking you to sin, do whatever it is he’s gruffly or impatiently asking you to do with a gracious, kind, willing, and loving attitude and demeanor, as opposed to pouting and feeling sorry for yourself – which is the theme of the article (and also why #7 focuses on the “a time to keep silent” aspect of submission rather than the “a time to speak” aspect of addressing your husband’s sin).

Have you ever heard the phrase “killing someone with kindness”? God has an amazing way of taking our example of godly obedience, kindness, and refusing to retaliate, and using that to convict the other person of his sin. He does that Himself with us:

Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

Romans 2:4

So, yes, there’s a time to speak and – approaching your husband the way you would want to be approached – kindly and humbly address his sin. That time is usually… later. Not in the moment.

What makes you confident in your ability to determine who is a true or false teacher of the Bible? Are you a theologian or do you have background in studying theology and the Bible? Just curious.

(I’ve distilled this question down from a much longer laundry list of complaints from a follower about a Facebook post in which I warned against false teacher Priscilla Shirer. It’s hard to tell from the wording in the brief excerpt above, but this was not a genuine, good faith question from someone desiring to grow in her discernment skills. It was tossed out in a snarky, accusatory, “Who do you think you are?” tone. My tone below, per Proverbs 26:5, is a biblically appropriate response to hers.)

The Bible makes me confident in my ability to determine who is a true or false teacher of the Bible. And if you’re a genuinely regenerated Christian, it should make you confident too.

Our authority as Christians comes from God’s Word, not from a seminary. You don’t have to go to seminary to be a discerning Christian (in fact, many seminaries are so rife with false doctrine that you’d better be discerning before you get there). If you think about it, none of the people who wrote the Bible’s teachings on false teachers and false prophets ever went to seminary, including the Bereans, whom God praised for their discernment.

Scripture tells us:

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

1 John 4:1


Examining teachers and comparing their teaching and behavior with Scripture is a command from God for Christians, not an option, and certainly not something for Christians to criticize and scorn other Christians for doing (as long as they’re doing it biblically, which I am).

So the question here is not why am I obeying God’s Word, testing this spirit against Scripture, and when she’s found to be a false teacher, warning other Christians about her. The question is, if you’re a Christian, why aren’t you? Why aren’t you studying your Bible so that you understand it, and can see how Shirer’s words and actions conflict with it? Why aren’t you warning others against her? I would be very concerned about that for my own spiritual life if I were you.

I hope this resource will answer any other objections to the Bible’s command for discernment that you may have.

I later added these remarks (slightly edited here) to the remainder of the commenters on that post:

I would encourage you younger ladies (especially those who have been commenting in the “Where do you get off?!?!” vein to me) to consider this:

“When one becomes so familiar with His Word you can spot a false teacher a mile away – I told my girls that when you walk close to God and His WORD you become sensitive to the clanging gong of false teachers.”

This quote is from a 70+ year old “Titus 2:3-5 woman” who has been walking with the Lord and a passionate student of God’s Word for over 50 years. And she’s right. And as a younger woman (I’m 56), I’m very thankful for the wisdom she just spoke into my life.

As I said, I’m 56. I have been a faithful member of decent churches since 9 months before I was born. I’ve been saved since I was 12. That means I’ve been walking with the Lord and studying His Word at church, a Christian high school and college, in other Christian organizations, and on my own for 44 years. Longer than many of you have been alive. Furthermore, I’ve been blogging and “doing discernment ministry” for over 17 years.

If you had a doctor with 44 years of training and 17 years of diagnostic experience and he gave you a diagnosis you didn’t like, would you immediately throw it back in his face with a sassy, disrespectful, “What qualifies YOU to say so?” or “What makes you so sure you’re right? MY opinion is…”. I doubt it. You might respectfully ask him some questions or request some resources to help you understand. You might even politely seek a second or third opinion, but you would not be so brash and arrogant to immediately assume he has no idea what he’s talking about and is just being mean to you, and you know better than he does.

I’m not saying this to toot my own horn or “look down on anyone’s youth” (that would be out of context, anyway), and I’m certainly not saying I’m without sin or never make mistakes. I’m saying there’s a reason Titus 2:3-5 specifies that older women are to train younger women. (Which implies that younger women should listen to older women instead of immediately dismissing us out of hand when we say something you don’t like – especially when it’s backed up with rightly handled Scripture and other mature, doctrinally sound Christians corroborate it.) Younger women do not have the same spiritual maturity, life experience, wisdom, and biblical training that older women have who have been walking with the Lord for decades. (I definitely didn’t have it when I was a younger woman!)

By all means, get a second opinion from rightly handled, in context Scripture. Politely ask questions. Do the research on your own. But stop being so reactionary and lashing out every time you hear something biblical that you don’t like. All you’re doing is showcasing your spiritual immaturity and ignorance of Scripture and your lack of self control. Or, worst case scenario, you’re bearing the fruit of someone who isn’t saved.

I’m far from perfect, but I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck and start slinging the label of “false teacher” around willy nilly. By God’s incredible grace, mercy, wisdom, and sanctification, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I know what I’m talking about – all glory to Him.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Podcast Appearances

Guest Appearance – The Plumb Line Radio Show

Michelle Lesley

Not long ago, I had the pleasure of appearing as a guest on The Plumb Line Radio Show with Jay Rudolph for a wonderful discussion about how to vet the teachers we listen to. What makes someone a false teacher? What are some ways to be more discerning about the teachers we listen to? And how about some practical tips to quickly weed out about 95% of the teachers you shouldn’t be following?

Listen in to these two brief interviews!

The Plumb Line, episode 717- How to Recognize False Teachers 1- Michelle Lesley

The Plumb Line, episode 718- How to Recognize False Teachers 2- Michelle Lesley

If you’re in the vicinity of Des Moines, Omaha/Lincoln, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New York City, Jacksonville, Chicago, or Kansas City, you can listen to The Plumb Line on your local Christian radio station. Click here to find out which radio stations carry The Plumb Line and when. If you don’t live near one of those markets, you can always follow and listen on Spotify.

Additional Resources:

Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring it Out on Your Own

Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends

Joyce Meyer

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?

Leaving Lysa: Why You Shouldn’t Be Following Lysa TerKeurst or Proverbs 31 Ministries

Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a women’s conference or church event? Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat!

Discernment

Discernment: What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 22, 2016

…so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…

Ephesians 4:14-15

Christians who know what discernment is have a variety of perspectives about how it should be practiced. Should we teach about false doctrine at all or just make sure our church is teaching sound doctrine? Should we name the names of false teachers or speak about them anonymously? Should we warn people away from false teachers or just pray for them privately? What’s the biblical precedent for using a stringent tone when speaking of those who teach false doctrine?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “speaking the truth in love” from Ephesians 4:15 as it pertains to speaking and writing about false doctrine and false teachers.

Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.” We’re always smilingly sweet and never say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings or could rock the boat at church.

Many Christian women have the mistaken idea that “speaking the truth in love” equals being “nice.”

Are we to be kind? Yes. Are we to do our best not to hurt others? Of course. Should we be making waves over every little thing that rubs us the wrong way? Absolutely not. We are to deny ourselves, setting aside our personal preferences and, in many cases, even our own rights, to the point of laying down our lives for others.

We need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. We die *to* personal preferences. We die *for* the purity of biblical doctrine.

But we need to understand the distinction between personal preferences and biblical doctrine. And that’s where I think a lot of people get confused. We die to personal preferences. We die for the purity of biblical doctrine. The enemy is stealthily infiltrating and conquering church after church with false doctrine. We are at war. And that’s going to mean ruffling feathers, rocking the boat, and hurting feelings sometimes. Because the full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.

The full armor of God doesn’t come with a white flag or a pen for signing peace treaties.

But how do we war for the truth “in love”?

Well, think about the concept and practice of “love.” Love always has an object. We don’t just say, “I love.” We say, “I love my children,” or “I love peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.” Speaking the truth “in love” is not as much about our demeanor or tone of voice as it is about the object of our love. It’s our love for others that compels us to speak biblical truth. And it’s that same love for others that should drive the manner in which we speak the truth.

So when it comes to speaking the truth about false doctrine, how should we be motivated by love? And love for whom?

We love Christ– As Christians, our love for Christ should motivate everything we do. If we’re speaking truth from fleshly motives such as pride, the desire to make a name for ourselves, or the competitive drive to win an argument, everything we say can be 100% factually right and we can still be spiritually in the wrong because the motive of our heart is wrong. God isn’t a debate judge awarding us points for compelling arguments. God weighs the heart.

We love God’s Word– To love Christ is to love the Bible because Scripture is literally God Himself speaking to us. Besides the cleansing of the temple, the passage in which we see Jesus’ righteous anger displayed most clearly is Matthew 23. Here, Jesus delivers a scorching rebuke to the scribes and Pharisees for twisting God’s Word and, in doing so, leading people away from the truth of Scripture. It is only natural for those of us who have the mind of Christ and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit to have that same love for God’s word and feel righteous anger over the maligning of it.

We love the church– To love Christ is also to love His bride, the church. Christ gave his life to cleanse the church “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Seeing Christ’s bride blemished and corrupted by false doctrine should grieve us deeply and motivate us to call the church to be cleansed “by the washing of water with the Word.”

We love the captives– Paul speaks of false teachers “who creep into households and capture weak women.” Often, the women who follow false teachers simply don’t know any better. Though Scripture is clear that they’re complicit in their own captivity, they are casualties and prisoners of war held hostage by the enemy. We are to love them enough to show them the truth of God’s word so that “they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

We love the enemy– Every Christian was at one time an enemy of the cross. Every last one of us. Until someone loved us enough to intervene with the truth of the gospel. False teachers – those who, despite biblical correction, unrepentantly teach doctrine which is plainly refuted by Scripture – have made themselves enemies of the cross, even if they call themselves “Christian,” even if they wear the title of “pastor,” even if they’re holding a Bible in their hands and refer to it occasionally as they “teach” us.

In the same way that a loving sister would not turn a blind eye and hope for the best if her sibling began using drugs and became increasingly addicted, it is not loving to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.

*It is not loving* to stand idly by and allow false teachers to continue to sink deeper and deeper into Satan’s clutches by doing his bidding without making every effort to stop them in order to rescue them.

Sometimes – just as with the drug abuser – this can be accomplished early on with a private word of correction. And sometimes – as with the addict – more extreme measures of “tough love” and intervention must be employed. But we always love them enough to desire that they come to repentance and embrace the truth.

 

Our love for these also drives the manner in which we speak truth to them. A good soldier would never deal with a civilian casualty in the same way he would fight off an enemy bent on waging war. Likewise, part of discernment is knowing who the enemy is (and is not) and dealing with people in a biblically appropriate way. This requires humility, wisdom, thorough proficiency with our tools and weapons, unceasing prayer, and complete dependence on and self-crucifying love for our King. We trust in Him and His Word to guide us in the wise and loving way to humbly speak His truth.

Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it?

Everything.

Discernment. Speaking truth. What’s love got to do with it? Everything.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Discernment resources… Recommended podcasts… Approaching church leadership about false teachers… Magi: Astrologers?… Heaven after suicide?… Permission to email?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Hey just curious why when I click on Sean Feucht it just sends me to a Justin Peters video on him from 2 months ago? Is that a glitch?

I think you’re referring to my link to Sean Feucht at my Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of the blog), right?

It’s not a glitch. The link is taking you right where I meant for it to take you. I’m not sure if you’re asking because you expected all of the links to go an article I had written or if there was another reason, but not all of the links on that page go to an article I wrote.

The main reason for this is that I usually don’t have on hand the 10-20ish hours it takes to write a thorough discernment article on everybody. But I know y’all need information on these teachers now, so if I come across a good resource from someone else, I’ll go ahead and link it up for you. Also, most of those outside resources I’ve linked are so thorough and well done that I don’t feel the need to re-invent the wheel. I’m very thankful for the handful of brothers and sisters out there who are doing a great job of exposing false teachers and false doctrine. It lightens the load for all of us who do discernment work.

In addition to Sean Feucht, over the last few months I’ve also added resources for baptismal regeneration, Shawn Bolz, Core Group/Jenny Weaver, Eastern Orthodox, Kathryn Krick, Greg Laurie, Rebecca McLaughlin, Kristi McLelland, the New Apostolic Reformation, Right Now Media, Heidi St. John, and Wesleyanism. Check it out if you haven’t stopped by recently!

Other than yours, are there any podcasts you can recommend for women? Age wise 40-50’s. Thank you!

Thank you so much for listening to A Word Fitly Spoken! Yes, I would recommend, regardless of age, the podcast of anyone listed at the Recommended Bible Teachers, Authors, etc. tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. (Don’t limit yourself to female podcasters, teachers, etc. There are a lot more doctrinally sound men out there than women.)

A few more that aren’t listed there (only because I haven’t had time to update that page in a while) that I listen to are:

The G3 Podcast
Transformed with Dr. Greg Gifford
Your Calvinist with Keith Foskey (If you’re not a Calvinist or don’t like Calvinism, don’t let the title scare you. It’s usually not about Calvinism. Give it a good faith try.)
Conversations that Matter
The Lovesick Scribe

The Studio Revue with Sam Reid (This one isn’t Christian content, it’s just wholesome fun. I got hooked on it earlier this year.)

I’m wondering what/how would be the best way to approach my pastor about Jennie Allen and other doctrinally weak/unsound women whose studies are currently being taught at the church I’m a member of. At the risk of appearing obtuse or haughty, I’m hesitant to share these insights with the women (who I esteem more spiritually mature than I) who are overseeing the women’s Bible studies, especially as they continue to choose these authors who clearly are unsound or weak in theology and doctrine. 

I’m so sorry this is happening at your church. I hope it will help you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been in the same situation myself, and I’ve heard from hundreds of other women over the years who have also been in this situation. Sadly, my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing? is the one I most often have to share with readers.

And listen, if these women are following false teachers, they are not the spiritually mature ones, no matter how they seem or how they present themselves. If you’re discerning enough to understand from Scripture that they’re following false teachers, and you love them and your church enough to try to help, you are the spiritually mature one in this situation. That’s not haughty, that’s simple, objective, biblical fact.

I have taken a moment to pray for you, and I wish you well.

I’ve heard that Christians shouldn’t read horoscopes or get involved with astrology, but weren’t the wise men who came to see Jesus astrologers? Maybe there’s something to astrology.

Well, if we were to say that, then we could also say maybe there’s something to stealing, too. Because, after all, that’s what got the thief on the cross to Jesus, and Jesus said that he would be with Him in Paradise that day. And maybe there’s something to persecuting and murdering Christians, too, because that’s how Paul came to encounter Jesus. But we don’t say those things because that’s not the way we rightly handle and apply Scripture.

There are two broad categories of Scripture: descriptive passages and prescriptive passages. Descriptive passages are descriptions of something that happened, like the story of the wise men visiting Jesus, or Noah and the ark, or David and Goliath. Prescriptive passages could also be called commands or direct instructions, “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots.”

When we have a question about whether or not it’s OK with God for us to do something, say, consulting horoscopes and astrologers, we look first at the relevant prescriptive passages, like this one:

When you come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominable practices of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God, for these nations, which you are about to dispossess, listen to fortune-tellers and to diviners. But as for you, the Lord your God has not allowed you to do this.

Deuteronomy 18:9-14

While this passage was obviously written as a command to Old Testament Israel, we can still draw out some applicable principles for today by asking ourselves why “the Lord your God has not allowed you to do this.” God calls these practices an “abomination” several times and links them to paganism. Verse 14 is reminiscent of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 and 1 John 2:15-17, which tell us not to love or partner with the dark things of the world and to separate ourselves from such things.

This is a clear, prescriptive passage that answers our questions about following horoscopes and astrology, so this is where we get our instruction, not from a descriptive passage about someone who was an astrologer.

Additionally, there’s good reason to believe that the wise men who went to see Jesus were not astrologers in the same horoscope/tarot card/palm reading/fortune teller sense in which we use the word “astrology” today. The Greek word translated as “wise men” is magos (magi). Its primary meaning is “Oriental scientist,” a term which was also applied to teachers, priests, and physicians, among others. It would seem that the wise men were much more akin to astronomers than astrologers, and were learned in the Old Testament messianic prophecies as well.

Additional Resources:

Should a Christian Consult Horoscopes? at Got Questions

Astrology and the Visit of the Wise Men at Truth Magazine

Were the Wise Men Astrologists? at The Baptist Bulletin

Will a Believer who commits suicide still go to Heaven?

Yes. The key word here is “Believer.” People who are genuinely born again Christians spend eternity in Heaven when they die. It is not a particular sin that sends people to Hell, but rather that they die in a state of lostness and unbelief. If you think about it, because sin is so sneaky and pervasive most Christians will have some unconfessed sin in our lives at the moment of our death, whether that sin is suicide, unforgiveness, lust, a lie, or whatever. At the moment of salvation, Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection pays for ALL of a Believer’s sins, from cradle to grave. While we should always strive to repent of any known sin in our lives, we must also trust in God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness towards His children.

Additional Resources:

If a Christian commits suicide, is he/she still saved? at Got Questions

Sunday School Lesson ~ 6-1-14 (Scroll down to “Follow up: Can a Christian be forgiven…”)

The Mailbag: Can unforgiveness cause you to you lose your salvation?

Is it OK if I email you/private message you on social media about…

Yes. You do not need to ask my permission before emailing or DM-ing me. Just go ahead and send me the email/DM. The only thing is, you need to understand that I will probably not answer your email or DM personally (unless it’s related to a speaking engagement). I answer readers’ questions via The Mailbag. I’ve explained why at the Contact and Social Media tab (All together, class: “…in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.”).

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Discernment, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Intend to offend?… Right Now Media… Jesus died for YOU?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

This reader’s question is in reference to my article In Defense of Offense: Why Christians Need to Stop Worrying About Offending People.

Would you say offending with the purpose to offend with the truth is the same as what you are saying? So should we ever purpose to offend when we speak the truth from the Bible?

Great question! (And let me take this opportunity to say to all of my readers and followers that if you’re ever unclear about something I’ve written or posted – especially if it seems unbiblical or out of character for me – please, please, please just ask me about it politely, like this reader did, and I will be happy to explain if I’m able. I would much rather you ask than attack me, jump to the wrong conclusion, or worse, assume I’ve apostatized. Genuine, polite questions are always welcome!)

Hon, when you say “purpose to offend,” I’m thinking of a person who gets out of bed in the morning with the primary goal of offending people, making them angry, or upsetting them, not with the primary goal of sharing the gospel or restoring someone from sin.

I’m not sure why a Christian would have the desire, goal, or motive of offending people, regardless of his reason for doing so. That goes against the grain of everything Scripture teaches us both about Christian character and the ineffectiveness of provoking people. The Bible says:

A brother offended is harder to win over than a strong city,
And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.
…if possible, so far as it depends on you, being at peace with all men…

Proverbs 18:19, Romans 12:18

Fathers are told not to provoke their children to anger. One of the qualifications for pastors and elders (which we’re to emulate) is that they not be pugnacious (i.e. “looking for a fight”), but peaceable and considerate. (If not, they’re disqualified from ministry.) We’re not to place a stumbling block or offense before anyone – saved or lost, in order to protect our ministry and so that people might be saved. You’ll recall that Paul devotes significant ink to the idea that if it would offend people for him to eat meat sacrificed to idols, he’ll never eat meat again. We’re told not to be quarrelsome, but kind, patient, and gentle in our teaching and correction so that people can be saved. Titus 3:2 reminds us “to slander no one, but to be peaceable, considerate, demonstrating all gentleness to all men”.

The Scriptures go on and on about this. We’re not only forbidden from trying to offend people, we’re instructed to bend over backwards trying not to offend people. The Bible is offensive enough all on its own. That’s more than enough offense for sinners to try to deal with without us making things harder and piling on personal offensiveness.

And that’s the whole point of my article. Not that we should intentionally be personally offensive in our demeanor, but that we shouldn’t refrain from kindly, yet firmly speaking the truth in love so that sinners might be saved, and saints might be sanctified, just because we’re afraid that biblical truth will offend them.

What do you think about churches using Right Now Media?

I drop in on the RNM website from time to time, and from what I can see, it’s almost all (if not all) false teachers.

Scripture is clear that churches shouldn’t support (financially or otherwise) false teachers, and certainly not those, like RNM, who profit from platforming them and spreading their false doctrine. In fact, if your pastor welcomes false teachers into the church – in person, through their books and materials, via video platforms like RNM, etc. – instead of rebuking them and their false doctrine, he is participating in their wickedness, he is disqualified from pastoral ministry, and he needs to be under church discipline.

Yeah, it’s that serious to God.

And from a stewardship point of view, even if there are a few doctrinally sound teachers sprinkled in at RNM, I don’t see how it could possibly be worth the monthly subscription price for whatever few good teachers they might* carry.

*Visiting the RNM site, I get the impression that they want your money before they give you access to the names of all the teachers they platform. I clicked on several pages, and the teachers they did disclose fell into two categories for me: people I know to be false teachers, and people I’ve never heard of. I didn’t see the name of anyone I know to be a doctrinally sound teacher.

Since it’s a subscription service, not a “pay for the specific video you’re using” kind of thing, there isn’t even the option for pastors to say something like, “We feel like this particular R.C. Sproul video is the best one available on the theology of shoelaces, but it’s only available from RNM. We are recommending ONLY this video at RNM. Avoid everything else.”. No, you’re either in (and paying for everything) or you’re out.

Because RNM is primarily a source of false doctrine and false teachers, and because your church’s offering money would be going to support that – in disobedience to the commands of Scripture – you should be very concerned if your church subscribes to RNM. I would recommend that you and/or your husband set up an appointment with the pastor to discuss it. There’s an underlying issue here in subscribing to RNM – either the pastor is not exercising proper oversight over whoever subscribed the church to RNM, or the pastor is not discerning or diligent enough to know that he’s unleashing false teachers on his sheep.

🚨FRIENDLY WARNING🙂: The following question is related to Calvinism/Reformed theology. Please be reminded that we do not do Calvinism vs. Arminianism arguments here, on any of my social media platforms, or via email. Argumentative comments and messages will be deleted. Please see my Statement of Faith tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page if you have any questions.

My wife and I just finished watching the taped version of your talk [from the Resolute Conference on Answers TV] and we both agreed that it was extremely helpful! Thank you for pouring your time and effort into what was a clearly well-researched message.

Thank you so much. Yes, some of the teaching sessions (including mine) from Answers in Genesis’ Answers for Women 2025 Conference, Resolute, have been posted to Answers TV. I’m sure the rest will be posted soon, so if you have a subscription, you can watch! If you don’t have a subscription, give it some consideration! It’s only $4.99 a month or $39.99 a year, plus they offer a seven day free trial to get you started! If you’d like to watch my session on the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR), here’s the handout that goes along with it.

I do have one question, however. During your gospel presentation you specifically said that Christ died for “you” (i.e., the listener). But if you are saying that to an unregenerate person who has not been predestined to eternal life (according to the “U” in TULIP), how does that work with limited atonement (“The atonement for sin that Christ made on the cross applies only to those who are, or will, in the future be, saved”)?

Respectfully, how could you truthfully say that Christ died for “you,” if that person hasn’t been elected for life? Considering that you [are Reformed] your presentation of the gospel seems to be inconsistent with the doctrine of limited atonement.

I’d like to get your thoughts on this apparent discrepancy between the two. Thank you for your time and consideration!

You’re welcome. I’m glad to explain. I was speaking to about 3000 people that week (plus however many will watch the video, now), the vast majority of whom were already saved. So it is true for those people – Jesus did die for them.

When I gave the gospel presentation, I was addressing it to the elect in the audience – to those who would listen and believe the gospel, either right then, or later in life. (So it was true for them, too. Jesus died for them.) I was not speaking to those who would reject the gospel for the rest of their lives and spend an eternity in Hell – those who aren’t elect (if there were any like that in the audience), even though they could also hear me.

The thing is -and I know I’m not telling you anything new, here – you and I don’t know who’s elect and who’s not. That’s above our pay grade and none of our business. That’s God’s purview. The only way we can know for sure that someone is elect is after she gets genuinely saved and perseveres to the end. If she’s genuinely saved, that means she’s elect. But we can’t know before someone gets saved whether or not she’s elect, so, like the sower, we scatter the seed of the gospel with wild abandon, trusting God’s sovereignty as to what kind of soil it lands on and leaving everything after our gospel presentation up to Him.

I would also appeal to Scripture:

In Peter’s sermon in Acts 3, he’s preaching an evangelistic sermon and says -without knowing whether or not any of his audience is elect:

For you first, God raised up His Servant and sent Him to bless you by turning every one of you from your wicked ways.

Was everyone he was preaching to elect? Probably not.

In 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, Paul hearkens back to the gospel he proclaimed to these brothers when they were lost and says he told them that “Christ died for our sins”. At the time he originally said that, he had no way of knowing whether or not everyone he was preaching to would believe.

But all of that being said, I did read back through all of the sermons in Acts and some other evangelistic encounters in Scripture (and also discussed this on Sunday with one of our {unofficial} lay elders at church), and the general approach seemed to be: You’re a sinner, here’s what Jesus did so salvation and the forgiveness of sin could take place, repent, believe it, and be saved. The personal appeal was placed on the “you must repent and believe” part, not on the “Jesus died” part.

So, sure, I’ll tweak things and try to pattern my gospel presentation more in the style of the Apostles, not because of Calvinism as a framework, but because, as Christians – all Christians – we do always want to be as closely aligned with Scripture as we can get. So, thanks for bringing that to my attention. I appreciate the sharpening.

But I’m not going to quibble with anyone who says, “Jesus died for you,” when she shares the gospel accurately with someone. If the person she’s talking to gets saved, it’s true. If the person she’s talking to doesn’t get saved, she’s technically made a good faith, optimistic mistake while earnestly appealing to him to repent and believe the gospel, but she hasn’t sinned, it doesn’t matter to that person, and she hasn’t sent that person to Hell by saying so. And … you know … she’s sharing the gospel.

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