Tag: Christian Women

Encouragement

Throwback Thursday ~ Testify

Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 9, 2016

When I was a kid, it was commonplace to bring people before the church to give their testimony about how they got saved. More often than not, it seemed like these people had been saved out of all sorts of horrible things: drug use, promiscuity, alcoholism, prostitution, crime, etc.

It made for a dramatic testimony of the power of Christ to save even the worst of the worst, but it often left those of us who had grown up in the church, had been saved at a young age, and had never really done much “bad stuff” feeling somewhat ashamed of our testimonies. As though they were too boring to tell.

Dramatic testimonies often leave those who were raised in church and saved young ashamed of our testimonies. As though they’re too boring to tell.

Recently, I was listening to an older lady give her testimony. She was saved in her 30s, and prior to that had been promiscuous and had a couple of failed marriages. But what struck me most about her story was not that Christ saved her from these things (although that was certainly amazing and glorious), but that this lady so regretted her past sins that she said she used to sit and weep and ask God, “Why didn’t You save me sooner?”.

And it hit me. This lady would have given anything for a “boring” testimony like mine. She has scars and shame that, while covered and forgiven by the blood of Christ, she will always remember and regret.

And it hit me. This lady would have given anything for a “boring” testimony like mine.

If you were saved at a young age and never really did anything “bad”, you, too, have a beautiful testimony that you should never be ashamed of. God not only saved you from your sin, He saved you before you could do many evil things that you would later look back on and regret.

Lots of your brothers and sisters in Christ would give anything to have a “boring” testimony like yours.

Discernment Bible Study

Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment- Lesson 12- Wrap Up

Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Wrap Up

Questions to Consider

1. Was there anything new God taught you in this study that particularly impacted you? What was it, and why was it so significant?

2. How is your walk with the Lord different after this study than it was before?

3. What did you learn from this study about the nature and character of God?

4. What did this study teach you about the kinds of false doctrine which are most prolific in evangelicalism today?

5. What did this study teach you about how to “do” discernment (how to vet teachers/ministries, how to talk to a friend about false teachers, etc.)?

6. Have there been any passages or concepts in this study that God used to convict you of disobedience and lead you to repentance? How will you walk differently in this area from now on?

7. Describe one specific, practical way you will apply to your life something you learned in this study.

Homework

  • Spend some time in prayer this week asking God to show you how to put into practice one thing you learned from this study.
  • Using what you’ve learned from this study and the resources that have been provided in each lesson, vet a teacher or ministry whose doctrine you’ve been wondering about. If you’d like to take a practice run at it first, go to the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, select a name from the list – without clicking on it – and do your research. When you’re done, go back to that tab, click on the name, and “check your work” against mine. (Let me know if you turn up any new information that needs to be included in one of my articles!)
  • Recite all of your memory verses from this study. Which one is most meaningful to you right now?
Encouragement, Pop Theology

Wayback Wednesday ~ God created you to do amazing things?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published June 18, 2019

A while back, I saw this meme posted by a woman who is in a significant position of leadership in a Christian organization.

Ladies – especially those of us who lead, teach, and minister to women – we ought not be posting or teaching things like this.

First of all, it’s misleading. This is not what Ephesians 2:10 says. Ephesians 2:10 says:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Someone has taken it upon herself to summarize the verse in her own words and created a meme which makes it look like Ephesians 2:10 is being quoted. And her summary is incorrect – a mishandling of God’s Word.

Which brings me to point number two. This is not what Ephesians 2:10 means.

The “good works” God has prepared for us to walk in are seldom amazing – at least not in the way we usually define the word “amazing”.

The “good works” God has prepared for us to walk in are seldom amazing – at least not in the way we usually define the word “amazing”. Changing diapers, doing the laundry, breaking up fights between siblings, dealing with unreasonable bosses and annoying co-workers, and scrubbing toilets can all be “good works” God has ordained for us to perform to His glory, but most people wouldn’t call those things “amazing”. They’re mundane. Ordinary. Everyday life types of things.

And that’s OK!

First Thessalonians 4:10b-12 puts it like this:

But we urge you, brothers…to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

God has called us to serve Him and one another, and that is usually plain, unglamorous, non-prestigious, hard work. Forget “amazing” – often, no one will notice or thank us for our good works, or if they do notice, they might criticize the job we’ve done.

Cotton candy “theology” ends up being discouraging in the long run.

Finally, cotton candy “theology” like this ends up being discouraging in the long run:

“God created me to to amazing things, huh? This morning I ironed, cleaned dog vomit off the rug, and spent an hour ferrying kids to various activities. That doesn’t feel very amazing. When does this ‘amazing’ thing kick in? How long do I have to wait?”

Or:

“I’m a single mom with a full time job and three kids. I barely make it to church every week and struggle to get six hours of sleep a night with all I have to do. I’m exhausted. And now you’re telling me I have to do something ‘amazing’ on top of that?”

Or:

“I’m just an ordinary woman. God hasn’t really given me anything ‘amazing’ to do. Maybe He doesn’t love me. Maybe I don’t have enough faith, or I’m not praying hard enough, or there’s some secret sin in my life that I’m not aware of. Maybe I’m not even saved. What a failure I am.”

Ladies, ideas like the one in this meme do more harm than good. If we want to encourage each other, we need to do it biblically – with what God’s word actually says and with what God’s word actually means – with good, sound theology.

If we want to encourage each other, we need to do it biblically – with what God’s word actually says and with what God’s word actually means – with good, sound theology.

Discernment Bible Study

Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment- Lesson 11

Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Responding Biblically to the News that You’re Following a False Teacher

Today’s Scripture passages are embedded in the body of the study. Please click the links in each question.

Questions to Consider

Throughout this study we will be looking at various passages of Scripture rather than working our way through a book of the Bible verse by verse. Because of that, we will need to be extra vigilant to rightly handle these passages in context. I will always attempt to provide the context you need for understanding these passages correctly, but if you need more clarity please feel free to read as much of the surrounding text as you need to – even the whole book, if necessary – in order to properly understand the passage presented.

Someone loves you enough to risk her relationship with you to show you from Scripture that your favorite pastor, author, or evangelical celebrity is a false teacher. How will you respond?

1. Whether or not your favorite author or teacher actually is a false teacher, try to imagine how you would feel if someone told you that person is a false teacher. What would be your initial gut level reaction or emotions?

Consider these passages, keeping in mind your answer to the question above. The Bible often describes the heart as the seat of our “passions” or deep seated emotions. What do these passages tell us about the nature or quality of our heart/passions/emotions? Why should we not be enslaved to our passions? As born again Believers, whose slaves are we? Should we, as Believers, react to any situation – including being told we’re following a false teacher – out of raw, fleshly emotion? How, and with what character traits, do these passages (particularly the last four) describe the way we’re to use our minds to think and respond to life’s circumstances?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 1 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

2. Study these Scriptures. If someone tells you you’re following a false teacher, should you just blindly believe that person and take her word for it? Be aware that there are biblically demonstrable false teachers, false converts (people who think they’re Christians, but aren’t), and doctrinally unsound “discernment ministries” out there who will tell you, due to their own unbiblical beliefs, that some of today’s most godly, doctrinally sound pastors and teachers are false teachers. How can you know if you’re dealing with someone like that or if it’s a doctrinally sound, discerning Christian warning you against someone who really is a false teacher? What do these passages say to do? How can, for example, a video of a woman preaching to men, or a book or sermon excerpt of someone teaching false doctrine serve as “witnesses” or “evidence” supporting the charge that someone is a false teacher?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 2 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

3. Examine these passages. Once you have thoroughly searched the Scriptures (rightly handled and in context) and find that the charges your friend has brought against the teacher are true – she really is a false teacher as demonstrated by Scripture – what should you do about continuing to follow and receive teaching from that teacher? What if you find that – according to rightly handled, in context Scripture – the charges are unbiblical, and the teacher you’re following is not a false teacher? Review your answers to questions 1 and 2. How should you respond, point by point, to the allegations that have been made? How did Jesus respond to Satan’s temptations and unbiblical ideas in Matthew 4:1-11 (hint: see 4a, 7a, 10a)? Did Jesus respond with an emotional outburst or personal, subjective opinions?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 3 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

4. Often, women who follow false teachers feel as though they are in a loving, bonded relationship with those teachers. Examine these Scriptures. What do they teach us about loving Christ compared to loving other people? Does Christ allow us to love those who are most dear to us – our parents and our children – more than we love Him? What does He say about people who do? If we can’t love even our closest family members more than Christ, what do you think He would say about loving your favorite author or teacher more than you love Him? If you don’t love Christ enough to obey Him and stop following your favorite false teacher, what does that say about your love for that teacher versus your love for Christ? How are false teachers a test of our love for and obedience to God? Will you pass the test?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 4 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

5. Sometimes when someone finds out she has been following a false teacher, she feels betrayed and deeply hurt (as well she should). She wonders how she’ll ever again be able to trust a spiritual authority figure. “If I was duped by this teacher,” she thinks, “what’s to keep me from being duped by the next teacher? I’m not putting myself through that again.” Sadly, at this most vulnerable point, she gives up on church, pastors, and Bible teachers altogether and adopts a “just me and Jesus” perspective.

God’s people as His sheep is a major motif of Scripture. Read these passages. Why do sheep need a good shepherd? How does a shepherd protect and provide for the sheep? How does being in a flock, in the safety of a sheepfold protect a sheep? What happens to a sheep when it strays away from the flock? Does God ever, in these passages or any other you know of, speak as though a sheep being separated from the flock is a good thing?

The majority of the New Testament is about the church. Just off the top of your head (or search for church in a concordance), name 5-6 aspects of church life the New Testament teaches us about. Does the New Testament ever teach us about how to live and grow in Christ as “Lone Ranger Christians” or “just me and Jesus” Christians who are not joined to a local church? Why not? Is it fair to say that God’s perspective, as the Author of the New Testament, is that there is no such thing? If membership in a local church were optional or no big deal to God, why would He have spent so much time and effort establishing it, instructing it, and caring for it?

Why does God command us to be faithful members of a local church? Thinking back to your answers about the sheep, how do the church, and godly, doctrinally sound pastors and elders protect and provide for Christians?

In what ways can a good, doctrinally sound church help someone whom God has delivered from the clutches of false doctrine or a false teacher?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 5 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

6. Summarize your five principles into a paragraph or two about responding biblically to the news that you’re following a false teacher.

Homework

  • Read (and listen) more on the passages and topics from today’s lesson:

Words with Friends: How to contend with loved ones at A Word Fitly Spoken

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing? (the same principles apply to approaching a friend about a false teacher she’s following)

Women and False Teachers: Why Men Don’t Get It, and Why It’s Imperative That They Do

Basic Training: 7 Reasons Church is Not Optional and Non-Negotiable for Christians

  • Do you have a friend or loved one who is following a false teacher? Set aside some focused time in prayer this week to pray for her and for how you might talk to her about it. Consider each of the five principles you wrote in today’s lesson. Is there anything you can do to make it easier for her to respond in those biblical ways?

Suggested Memory Verse

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Keeping a diary… Training women to teach in co-ed classes… Celebrate, much?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Is it a good idea to keep a diary in order to vent one’s frustrations and keep thoughts and feelings under lock and key? How might a Christian do it in a Christlike way that is healthy and beneficial?

I really like your second question. As Christians, that’s a question we should all be asking about everything we undertake. Atta girl!

But first we need to back up one step and ask ourselves, “Is this thing I want to do biblical?”. Because you can’t do an unbiblical thing in a Christlike way.

So, is “venting one’s frustrations” biblical? Well, again, as Christians, it’s really important that when we ask a question, we frame it in biblical terms and teachings rather than in contemporary culture’s terms and teachings, so let’s look at how Scripture describes the idea you’re talking about and reframe the issue accordingly.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:8

A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the Lord.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!
Psalm 102:1

With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
Psalm 142:1-2

Did you notice those passages are all from Psalms? What else did you notice those passages have in common? Is the psalmist just venting his frustrations out into the ether, or writing them down for his own sake? No, he’s pouring out his heart to Someone. Someone he believes can help him and do something about the situation. These are prayers. This is the biblical model for offloading what’s bothering you: “take it to the Lord in prayer,” “I must tell Jesus,” and “take your burden to the Lord and leave it there“. Prayer.

When you pray, “cry out to the Lord”, or “pour out your heart/complaint to the Lord,” you’re declaring that you believe:

  • He exists
  • He can help you
  • He is listening to you
  • He understands the situation, what you think about it, and how you feel about it
  • He is powerful enough to remedy the situation

I would encourage you to study the Psalms (you may want to start with the three above and any they cross-reference with) and carefully observe the way the psalmist poured out his complaint to the Lord. Take notes on the posture of his heart toward both his complaints and toward God. What is usually the psalmist’s perspective as he concludes the psalm? How do you see him express faith, trust, and hope in God’s goodness, power, and faithfulness? As you study, you might even want to pray these psalms back to God.

Like the psalmist, you’ll want to pour your heart out to God in prayer obediently. That means praying biblically about whatever your complaint or problem is. Your atheist co-worker is making your job difficult? The Bible says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Your husband isn’t saved? Pray for his salvation and ask God to help you submit to him. You’re in need of provision? Trust that the Lord already knows what you need and ask Him to provide for you today.

So by this point, you might be thinking, “Yeah, but I asked about writing all this stuff down in a diary. The psalmist obviously wrote down all of his thoughts, so that must be OK, right?”. Well, that’s something else we can learn from the Psalms. How do you know he wrote all these things down? Because you’re reading them. And so have billions of other people for several thousand years. Now, obviously, that’s not going to be the case with your diary, but perhaps you’ve heard the old adage that you should never put in writing anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of the newspaper? That’s good advice. A flimsy little diary lock isn’t going to keep anybody out who wants to get in there, and they are also notorious for malfunctioning. And what about after you die? Your husband and/or children are going to go through your things, and they’re going to read your diary. You certainly don’t want them or anyone else reading things that should remain between you and the Lord. It is for that reason that I would advise against writing down anything you wouldn’t want anyone else to read. Stick to reverently pouring out your complaints to the Lord.

Our church has struggled with having older women leaders and teachers to faithfully train up and disciple younger women. Our elders have decided that they want to train older women to be sound in Scripture so they can teach other women and not rely on DVD’S. However, part of this teaching development is to allow them to teach in our public co-ed adult Bible life classes on Sunday mornings so they can receive feedback from the male leaders and/or elders present in the room on their teaching. Once these women are trained, the plan is to continue to allow them to teach in mixed-gender classes occasionally or when a substitute teacher is needed so they may exercise their gift of teaching. I am convicted that this is violating 1 Timothy 2:12. Is this a biblical method for women to exercise their gift of teaching and to be trained for a woman teacher?

No, it absolutely is not. This is taking a good, biblical goal and sinning in order to accomplish it. It’s like a teenager saying, “I want to be faithful to my spouse when I get married, so the way I’m going to accomplish that is to go out and sleep with everybody I can right now and get it all out of my system.”. It’s almost beyond belief that your pastor and elders are considering such a ridiculous plan of action and that they think it’s biblical! They say they want to teach older women to be “sound in Scripture” while simultaneously violating Scripture.

It doesn’t even make logical sense when the stated reason they want to train these women is to teach women. Why have them teach a co-ed class for training? Why not have them teach a women’s class?

No. I’m sorry, but this is either just really, really dumb, or your pastor and elders are trying to sneak egalitarianism in the back door. I hate for either one of those to be the case, but I can’t think of an alterative. Whatever the case may be, having these women teach a co-ed class is, in and of itself, a violation of Scripture.

If a church wanted to implement a training program like this, there are plenty of ways it could be done without violating Scripture. The elders could evaluate the trainee as she teaches a women’s class. They could have her prepare a lesson and present it only to the elders so they could critique and instruct her. They could even send the women they want trained to a G3 Expository Teaching Workshop for Women.

I would suggest praying fervently for your pastor and elders to come to their senses, express your concern to them, and hope that they correct their course, but if they continue down this road over the long haul, it’s likely you’ll need to start looking for a new church. Because unrepentant sin snowballs. Today it’s “just” a teaching practicum in a co-ed class. Next, women will become permanent teachers of co-ed classes. And from there, can women preaching, and serving as pastors and elders be far behind?

Related Resources

McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

Fencing off the Forbidden Fruit Tree

Rock Your Role FAQs

It seems like in conservative churches these days that the most important people are the pregnant moms and women of child bearing age. They are routinely prayed for: to conceive, for the pregnancy, for the delivery, and then afterwards. They get showers and meals brought. Meanwhile there are a whole host of people with needs who are overlooked, milestones that go unrecognized, etc. In addition. The Scriptures say that those worthy of double honor are our leaders! Now I’m certainly not against women having babies, they are a blessing from the Lord. I’m not against rejoicing with those who rejoice, but it just seems overdone to me. At any given time there may be 2 or 3 pregnant and just as many with newborns. I seems to me that back in the day women just had babies with not alot of fanfare. In the meantime are we as dedicated in seeking to bring others to spiritual life? Just wondering what your take is. Are we out of balance?

I understand where you’re coming from, and I think there are several different ways this scenario could be “out of balance”.

First, I want to caution all of us (myself included- this is something I have to be careful about as well) not to assume that just because things are a certain way – either good or bad – in our own church that means they’re the same way in the majority of other churches. I think if you presented this scenario to a room full of women of all ages from different “conservative churches” all over the country, some would agree with you, but the majority would say, “It isn’t that way at my church,” whether they mean their church has a good balance of celebrations or their church foundationally lacks fellowship and doesn’t celebrate anything. I’m assuming you’re seeing this as an issue in your own church (or you wouldn’t have emailed me), so let’s keep our focus there and not on what may or may not be happening at other churches.

One thing we need to be sure to do is keep our categories straight and distinct. A plethora of weddings, showers, and meal trains for new moms has nothing to do with 1 Timothy 5:17‘s admonition to double honor elders who rule well unless something extreme is going on, like the church is spending so much money on these celebrations that they can’t afford to pay his salary, or church members are somehow failing to submit to his leadership with these celebrations, or something like that. So, I’m guessing we can go ahead and put that concern for your church to rest.

Do I think young people’s celebration of things is a bit over the top these days? Yeah, I do. But that’s just the way things are in our culture right now. I know young moms who make St. Patrick’s Day and Arbor Day practically as big a to-do for their kids as I made Christmas for mine. I see elementary schools having big parties with costumes and whatnot to celebrate the “100th day of school”. I never heard of such until about 5-10 years ago. I see these elaborate “gender reveal” parties and announcements taking place, when in my day, we used to just tell people the sex of the baby whenever we found out. (And not too long before that, “gender reveal” and birth were simultaneous!) None of those things are wrong, they’re just different from the way we used to do things. That happens in every generation. It’s normal.

If you think there are people and milestones being overlooked in your church, here’s what I’d suggest:

  • Get to know, and develop close Titus 2:3-5 relationships with those younger women. Celebrate their milestones with them. In many churches (and having been a member of and worked with lots of different churches over the years, I feel comfortable saying “many”) the younger women desperately need and desire older women to be involved in their lives, and the older women make plenty of excuses, but little to no effort to extend themselves in this way. This is a shameful dereliction of our duty as older women and outright disobedience to Scripture. Those young women need us, and the Bible commands us to be there for them.
  • If you think older women or others are having their needs or milestones overlooked, set up an appointment with your pastor, not to complain, but to lovingly express your concern and ask his advice about how to approach the situation.
  • If your pastor is OK with it, why don’t you gather up a few of those younger women you’ve gotten to know, as well as a few of the older women, and start jumping in and celebrating those milestones and providing for needs in areas that are lacking: meals and visits for shut-ins or those who have recently had surgery, retirement parties, or how about a baby shower for new grandmas? That could be fun!

When God shows us something in the church that’s lacking, it might be that He wants us to roll up our sleeves and get to work on it. You might have just found an incredible way to serve the church you love! What a blessing!

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.