Biblical Womanhood – Page 15

How do I gracefully step down from a parachurch ministry where I, as a female, have been preaching to men and teaching Bible Studies to men? I know this is unbiblical, so my mind is saying, “GET OUT!” But, emotionally, I feel guilty for leaving and that I would be letting down the participants and my friend, who’s a co-leader.

Do you know anyone who has had to part ministry ways with a friend, and/or a woman who stepped down from preaching and teaching men, who would be willing to connect with me or just pray for me?

I’ve never been in that particular position myself, so I can only imagine the difficulty of stepping down from such a ministry. I will certainly pray for you, and ask my readers to stop here and take a moment to pray for this sweet sister in Christ, as well.

I have previously addressed the idea of women preaching to men or teaching them the Bible in parachurch or evangelistic outreach types of situations in my article Rock Your Role FAQs:

…So, when a body of believers comes together for these purposes [worship, prayer, the sacraments, and/or the study of God’s word], regardless of the building in which they meet, or whether you call it “church” or not, they are the church, and the biblical parameters about women teaching and holding authority over men applies…

…When it comes to outreach ministries (for example, a meal for the homeless, followed by a group gospel presentation or Bible lesson), it’s best for a man to lead co-ed (or male only) adult groups in anything that could be construed as preaching or teaching the Bible…

(Click the link above and see #7 & 11 for the complete answers.)

How to gracefully step down? I think you should do so the same way you would if you had to leave because you were moving away or took a new job whose hours conflicted with the ministry’s. You kindly inform the leadership of the ministry that you will no longer be able to participate, and briefly explain why. And in this case, you should also prayerfully consider how you might repent toward your co-leader friend and the participants, in whatever way seems biblically wisest.

Because you do have to leave, and for a reason far more important than an upcoming move or a new job: obedience to Scripture. Leaving due to a move or a job would probably not induce such intense feelings of guilt because you would look at those situations as unavoidable, or out of your hands. But as a slave of Christ who must do her Master’s bidding, if the Word of God requires something of you, it is out of your hands and unavoidable. Obedience to Scripture is not optional for Christians, nor contingent on our convenience, comfort, or circumstances, nor does God accept excuses for our disobedience.

As you’re experiencing, obedience to Scripture can often be difficult. But “Atta girl!” for hunkering down and doing it anyway through the strengthening of the Holy Spirit. I think you will find that the Lord will grow you in holiness and dependence on Him through this situation. May He use you in the future as an example and help to other Christian women facing like circumstances.

If you’ve had a similar experience to this reader and would like to connect with her to encourage her or pray for her, please comment below or e-mail (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com) me with your name and contact information (e-mail, social media, or phone number- I will read, but not publish, comments containing this private information), and I will pass it along to her. Or feel free to share your own experience in the comments section below.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Christian women, Complementarianism

From the Archives: Women’s Roles In the Church

June 23, 2017April 27, 2022 Michelle Lesley

I’m still out spending time with my family for a few days.
I hope you’ll enjoy this selection from the archives.

It’s been a while since I finished my Rock Your Role series which examines the main Scriptures often debated in the battle for the biblical role of women in the church. I’m starting to get questions on these topics again, which is great! This is an issue all Christian women need to have a biblical understanding of. So I thought I’d post the links to the articles that answer the questions I’m most commonly asked.

Jill in the Pulpit

“Why can’t women be pastors, teach men, or hold authority over men in the church?”

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?

“You say that women shouldn’t teach men, but what about men who read your blog? Aren’t you teaching them?”

Oh No She Di-int! Priscilla Didn’t Preach, Deborah Didn’t Dominate, and Esther Wasn’t an Egalitarian

“Of course women can preach, because…Esther! Because…Phoebe! Because…the women at Jesus’ tomb!”

Rock Your Role FAQs

Can women share the gospel with men? Teach at Christian schools? Speak at co-ed conferences? Answer questions in a co-ed Sunday School class? And more!

There are other articles in the Rock Your Role series which you may also enjoy. Just click and start scrolling.

Complementarianism

CARM Resource on Female “Pastors”

August 2, 2016January 11, 2017 Michelle Lesley

Are you familiar with the Christian Apologetics & Resource Ministry (CARM)? You should be. It’s an invaluable resource. From answers to tough questions, to apologetics training, to information on tons of cults, world religions, and heresies, CARM is a treasure trove of materials that will inform you, help you grow in your faith, and evangelize and disciple others.

Recently, I came across this resource article for churches which approve female pastors and elders. Readers often ask me for information like this that they can send out, so I thought I’d pass it along. Click here for the full article.

Christian women, Church

10 Ways Godly Women Can Help Improve the Spiritual Health of Their Churches

June 10, 2016June 9, 2016 Michelle Lesley

10 ways healthy churches

Let’s face it, ladies- not one of us goes to a church that’s one hundred per cent spiritually healthy. Every church has its problems. Some, just a few; others, well… they’re more like “fixer uppers”. From the encroachment of false doctrine to women serving in improper places of authority to toxic personalities to sin being swept under the rug, what are we to do when we see things in our churches that conflict with Scripture? How can we bring about spiritual change without stepping outside the boundaries of biblical womanhood?

1. Make sure you’re understanding, viewing, and responding to the problem biblically
Are you basing your concern about the situation on a correct or incorrect understanding of Scripture? Is the problem actually a violation of Scripture or just something that rubs you the wrong way personally? Is it possible something you’re doing is contributing to the problem? Sometimes what needs to be changed in your church might be your incorrect understanding of Scripture, your behavior, or your heart attitude.

2. Pray
We are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay (yes, it really does require that many a’s) underestimating the role prayer plays in our churches in general, but especially the role it plays in changing things in the church. Don’t blow prayer off as unimportant or a last resort. Pray for your church every day. Pray about the problems you’re seeing in the church and the people involved. Pray for wisdom for your pastor and whoever is in charge of handling the problem. Pray about it faithfully, fervently, and according to Scripture. It’s not just a biblical motion to go through. I’ve seen God change things in response to prayer time and time again.

3. Approach the appropriate person
If you’ve been praying about the problem and the people involved, and you’re certain you have a biblically correct understanding of and outlook on the situation, and you think you need to address the issue with someone, go to the appropriate person in humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience and discuss it with him or her in the same way you would want to be approached. (And use wisdom- in some cases it might be best for your husband or another man to approach the person.)

Most of the time, the appropriate person to approach first is the person at the center of the problem. A lady in your Sunday School class is a gossip? Go to her first, not the Sunday school teacher. The women’s ministry director is selecting materials authored by false teachers? Go to her first, not the board of elders. Hopefully, you’ll “win your brother.” If not, Matthew 18:15-20 outlines the appropriate subsequent steps to take when dealing with sin. (And, P.S., don’t stop praying. Pray more.)

4. Set a good example
Conduct yourself like a lady – a godly lady – whether you’re dealing with a problematic issue, worshiping, serving, fellowshipping, teaching, learning, or whatever you’re doing at church. Be a velvet covered brick. Strong, firm, and unwavering from Scripture on the inside, meek, gentle, kind, and loving on the outside. Be obedient to Scripture. Repent and seek forgiveness when you sin. Maintain a reputation that’s above reproach. People are watching you, even looking up to you.

5. Be faithful
As Christians we are supposed to be faithful members of the local body of Christ. That means you become an official member. You attend services unless Providentially hindered. You show up on time. You give offerings. You join a Sunday school/Bible study/small group class. You plug in and serve. You bond with your brothers and sisters in Christ. You get invested in the life of the church. You can’t be a strong, godly influence on your church or have people take you seriously when you address a problem if you’re lackadaisical in your approach to church or you’re only there half the time.

6. Be humble and willing
Sometimes helping to resolve a problem in a godly way might require you to do something that, while biblical and appropriate, makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you’re introverted and scared to death to address an issue of sin with a fellow church member. Maybe you’re needed in a position of service you don’t have much experience in. Maybe that sister at church that you don’t really like needs a friend. Are you willing to humble yourself, put your own preferences aside, and serve the body of Christ in whatever way is needed?

7. Teach
If you know how to properly handle God’s word and you’re able to teach, find an open position and get in there, whether it’s a children’s Sunday School class, a women’s Bible study, discipling a younger sister one on one, or helping out with the youth girls. Biblical illiteracy is absolutely and astonishingly rampant in the church, which means there are Christians in your church who don’t know how to behave biblically, which means issues of sin will arise. Prevent those issues before they happen by correctly teaching God’s word to as many women and children as you can. (And if you don’t know how, get trained.)

8. Put on your work clothes and roll up your sleeves
We can no longer go to church with the attitude that we’re going to just row our boats gently down the stream and if a problem arises and somebody else doesn’t deal with it to our satisfaction, we’re leaving. Church isn’t the buffet line at Golden Corral, existing only to provide us with multiple options and opportunities for a pleasant worship experience. Church is often more like being employed by Roto Rooter- it’s hard, hot, sweaty, unpleasant work. Don’t turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble. God may have put you in that church to be a catalyst for biblical change. Maybe the problematic situation at church is not about your comfort. Maybe it’s about you helping the body of Christ.

9. Encourage, help, and pray for your pastor and other church leadership
Pastoring (and other ministry leadership positions) is a tough, often thankless job. Your pastor, associate pastor, minister of music, elders, deacons, teachers, etc., can use all the support they can get. Be generous with your attaboys. Volunteer to help out where you can (teach, disciple, train others, help vet curricula and conference speakers, mediate, visit). And, again, pray. Pray for wisdom and discernment for your pastor and leadership. Pray that God will grow them in their understanding and teaching of the word. Pray for their marriages and parenting. Do what you can to support your leadership so they can be strong, healthy shepherds for the flock.

10. Keep your focus on Christ and trust Him
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in the details of a problem at church that we forget about God. Are you remembering that God loves and wants what’s best for your church and the people involved in the problem far more than you do? Have you stepped back, taken a deep breath, and recognized that changing people’s hearts and growing the church to maturity is on God’s shoulders, not yours? Are you acknowledging the fact that God is in control and is working in the situation even if you can’t see it? Do you believe that God is out for His glory and the good of His people even if visible circumstances suggest otherwise? Are you trusting in Christ Himself or are you trusting in a positive outcome to the situation?

No church is perfect, ladies. Your church has problems. My church has problems. Let’s work together with our brothers and sisters in the local body of Christ – humbly, lovingly, patiently, and as mature, godly women – to solve those problems and encourage our churches toward holiness and spiritual health.

Sanctification, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ Fight Like a Woman, Not a Little Girl

June 2, 2016June 1, 2016 Michelle Lesley

Originally published September 26, 2014

fight like a woman

Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I felt the necessity to write to you appealing that you contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints. Jude 3

What does the Bible say is the role of women in the church?

Is Jesus the only way to Heaven? Why?

Why is a literal, historical Adam and Eve crucial to the gospel?

What does God say about homosexuality?

Ladies, do you know the answers to these questions? Do you know and understand the Bible well enough to provide accurate scriptural support for your answers?

If not, you are not alone. Sadly, many Christian women are lacking in fundamental apologetics skills, the ability to defend even the basics of what they believe.

And part of the problem is that we often settle for being little girls in the faith instead of striving to become strong Christian women.

We pick churches where the pastor spends most of his time telling jokes or regaling us with personal stories because it makes us feel good instead of finding a pastor who is dedicated to rightly handling God’s word, sticking closely to Scripture, and feeding us copious amounts of it.

We pick women’s devotional books and Bible study groups that center around our emotions and building up our self esteem instead of building our esteem for Christ by leading us deeper into His word.

We build women’s ministries that focus on fluff instead of the Father, fun instead of faith, and where older women are left out instead of taking the lead and becoming spiritual mentors to younger women (Titus 2:3-5).

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a little joke from the pastor from time to time, or an occasional feel-good story, or fun ladies’ activity. It’s when these things make up the bulk of what we call “church,” “Bible study,” or “edification” that our sanctification can be stunted and we can end up as spiritual Peter Pans, refusing to grow up in Christ and remaining children in the faith perpetually.

And when we’re children in the faith, we fight for the faith like children.

When someone challenges our beliefs, emotional outbursts, name calling, unsubstantiated opinions, and personal preferences can take center stage because we don’t know our Bibles well enough to plant our feet firmly on the word and confidently and correctly declare, “Thus saith the Lord.”

Can you imagine Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) going like this:

And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”

“What?! How dare you question who I am! You’re just a divisive hater!”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,
“‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and
“‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”

“Well, that’s your interpretation. That’s not what those verses mean to me.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”

Hmmm, I know God wants me to be happy and successful. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt, just this once…

No, time and again, here and throughout the gospels, Jesus answered, “It is written.” No ruffled feathers, no indignation. He calmly and firmly appealed to Scripture when God and His word were being maligned.

Jesus fought like the God-man, and we must follow in His footsteps and fight temptation and false doctrine like godly women. How?

We recognize and embrace the fact that, as Christians, the Bible -not our preferences, what’s convenient, or the world’s mores- is the final authority for our every thought, word, and deed.

We rightly handle God’s word in context.

We compare all things -even things that carry the label “Christian”- to God’s word and reject anything that conflicts with it.

We study our Bibles to learn about God- His nature and character, His plan of redemption, His requirements for us- not as a self-help book.

We learn from Scripture- not from our own or others’ opinions- what the role of godly women is, inside and outside the church.

We stand firm on God’s word when “the faith once for all handed down to the saints” is challenged, understanding that this will take humility, meekness, love, and boldness.