Mailbag – Page 16 – Michelle Lesley

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Stop fooling around with false teachers x 2… Broken links & typos… Omitting “the” Holy Spirit)

August 15, 2023August 15, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

This comment was left on my article Guest Post: Lauren Daigle and the Fruit of “Losing her Religion”.*

The depth of faith in Jesus that Lauren Daigle conveys through her music has helped me to worship and pray on my knees through some very difficult times. God has spoken to me time and again through the words of her songs. God is using her in a beautiful way. Every time I hear her sing, I am pointed to God who is the supplier of all my needs. I did a Google search to find her testimony of when she was 15 to share with my 15 year old daughter and found this article. I am surprised to hear such a different view.

That’s because this “view” is telling you the truth according to Scripture instead of scratching your itching ears like all the others, and unfortunately, that’s a rarity. God is using Lauren, all right. He’s using her as judgment against those who fall for the unbiblical things she puts out there. She and her music are just stroking your fleshly feelings, not bringing you closer to God. Nothing you’ve said in this comment has any basis in Scripture. It’s all fleshly desires which are not from God, but from the world. And you definitely shouldn’t be infecting your daughter with this garbage.

Now, I know your feelings are probably all shaken up after reading that. Good. Use that. Let it motivate you to stop being led around by the nose by your feelings, grow up in Christ, engage the beautiful brain God gave you, pick up your Bible, and start studying it in a serious, systematic way so you can learn the truth of God’s Word instead of the lies you’re being fed by someone masquerading as an angel of light. You don’t have time to mess around with this junk any more. Your daughter is already 15. She’ll be out on her own before you know it. You’ve got to be a spiritually mature woman of God so you can train her to be a spiritually mature woman of God before it’s too late. (And for any readers who are fooling around with any other false teachers, all of this goes for you, too.)

Homework assignment:

Carefully and prayerfully study through the Scriptures and materials at the What Must I Do to be Saved? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, and make sure you’ve repented and believed the biblical gospel. I’m not saying you’re definitely not saved, I’m saying sometimes the reason someone is deceived into thinking the ungodly is godly is because she’s not saved (see also John 10 and 1 Corinthians 2:14). I have no idea whether or not you’re saved, and I don’t need to know, but you need to know for sure.
If you’re not a faithful, invested member of a doctrinally sound local church, go to the Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, and start scouring the church search engines for a good church near you. If you’re a member of a church you think is doctrinally sound, go to that same tab, scroll down to the “What to look for in a church” section and start comparing your church to the items there. If your church doesn’t match up, scroll back up to the search engines and start looking for a new church. You need to be in a solid church sitting under pastors and teachers who rightly handle God’s Word and feed you copious amounts of it.

(For any readers who already have your undies in a bunch about the tone of this answer not being “loving” enough, I will be glad to hear your comments after you’ve memorized Ephesians 4:11-16 and meditated on it every day for a month.)

*It just occurs to me that we haven’t had a good guest post in a while. If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com, and let’s chat about it. (Two things, just to save you a little time: a) email me before writing the article, b) it will have to be an original article, not a re-post of something you’ve written for your own blog.)

When I click on [a link in a particular article on Michelle’s blog] it takes me some place that looks dangerous. I’m leaving this here because I couldn’t find where to email you. Thanks!

No, thank you! I am always so grateful when readers let me know that a link is broken or that they’ve found a typo or some other grammatical error. If you find something like that, please let me know – I want to fix it!

In the case of broken links, often what has happened is that, at some point after I posted the link, whoever wrote the article I linked to deleted the article or the entire website. Or maybe she started a new blog or website and moved the article there, and I didn’t know about it. The transient nature of the internet – gotta love it. Or not.

My email address can be found at the Contact & Social Media tab (let’s all say it together! :0) “in the blue menu bar at the top of this page”. All I ask is that anyone who’s considering emailing me please read the information under the heading Important information. Please read before e-mailing. before emailing me.

I’m not sure if [Priscilla Shirer] has always harbored unbiblical doctrine or has in the more recent past had a fall. If the latter is the case (not knowing the timeline), my question is: are books she’s previously written alright to read or should I avoid all teachings, even ones from the past? This has been a recurring theme for my husband and I (sic) as we’ve had a few conversations with friends who have been deceived by false teachers.

It’s really great that you want to be discerning about the materials you consume. Way to go!

I’m asked this question fairly regularly, most often about Priscilla Shirer and Beth Moore. “Has she always been a false teacher or did she start off biblical and later went off the rails?”

I can’t say definitively, but my best guess is that Beth Moore has never been doctrinally sound because Beth Moore’s continual trajectory away from holiness and sound doctrine indicates that she is not a Believer. (I mean, if you’re a Believer, with the Holy Spirit living inside you and sanctifying you, you grow more like Christ and in alignment with Scripture over the years, not less.) And if you’re not a Believer, well, a broken clock might be right twice a day, but that does not a qualified Bible teacher make at any point in her career.

I’m slightly less familiar with Priscilla Shirer’s doings over the last few decades, but her trajectory away from sound doctrine seems similar. I participated in a group study of her book, He Speaks to Me, shortly after it came out in 2005, and (as you can surmise from the title) she was already teaching extra-biblical revelation at that point. And that was almost 20 years ago when her career was just starting to take off.

There’s also another issue at play here. You may think there was nothing unbiblical in a false teacher’s older works, but – think about it – if you’re a genuinely regenerated Christian, that means God has been growing you in all aspects of Christlikeness over the years, including discernment. Was that teacher actually doctrinally sound back then, or were you just less discerning and less knowledgeable of Scripture? If you go back and re-read those books now, you might be surprised at what jumps out at you!

My advice? Why go dumpster diving in search of a diamond which might turn out to be a dirty piece of plastic when you can go into a nice clean, reputable jewelry store and buy what you know is a diamond? In other words, stop fooling around with people who have proved themselves to be false teachers. If you’re looking for a Bible study, go straight to the source and study directly from the text of Scripture. If you’re looking for a theology or “Christian living” type of book, go to trustworthy, tried and true pastors and authors who have stayed faithful to Christ and His Word for decades.

Do you know why some Christians leave out the article “the” when speaking about the Holy Spirit and the Father? Do you know what the original Scriptures say…”the” or no “the” when referring to them? I understand leaving the article out when addressing them directly in prayer, but it just sounds strange to me when speaking “about” them. I’m wondering if either way is fine.

So, if it’s been a while since you’ve studied grammar, basically what this reader is saying is that some evangelicals have developed the practice of using “Holy Spirit” (and apparently “Father” now, too) like they’re God’s first name or nickname. Like, “Father answered one of my prayers!” or “Holy Spirit really blessed me today!”. I don’t know, to me it sounds like you’re calling these members of the Trinity “Bob” or something. It just hits my ear, and this reader’s ear, and maybe your ear funny. English speakers have been saying “the Father” and “the Holy Spirit” for hundreds of years now and old habits die hard.

It’s not sinful or unbiblical to talk this way if you’re a doctrinally sound Christian who’s speaking reverently and not regarding the Godhead as your homeboys, it’s just weird.

If you find yourself speaking this way, I would just suggest you ask yourself a couple of questions: “Why did I start doing this?” and “From whom did I learn this?”

If you started doing this because, as the reader suggested, the original Greek does not use “the article ‘the’,” that’s fine, assuming the original Greek is what you speak on a daily basis. But I suspect it’s not. I suspect you speak 21st century English, or the reader would not have picked up on this little quirk of yours. You speak English, so use the rules of English grammar.

In Spanish, the adjective comes after the noun, so you would say, “I have a car blue,” whereas, in English the adjective comes before the noun, and that’s why we say, “I have a blue car.” You don’t apply Greek grammar when speaking English any more than you would apply Spanish grammar when speaking English because that doesn’t make any sense. Every language has its own grammatical rules.

Greek – even the Greek the Bible was written in – isn’t some magical heavenly language. It was just the common language of the time that most literate people could read. That’s why God chose that language. If He were writing the Bible today, He’d probably write it in English for the same reason. So there’s no need to import bits and pieces of Greek grammar into our English conversations as pretense to greater holiness

The only issue with omitting “the” in front of “Father” and “Holy Spirit” is that this is typically a practice of some of the deepest, darkest corners of the New Apostolic Reformation. You hear that omitted “the,” and you’re probably about to hear some off the wall “prophecies,” speaking in “tongues,” decreeing/declaring, and more, close on its heels. Even if the person dropping the “the” is someone you know to be doctrinally sound, unless that person is new to the English language, she probably picked it up from somebody in, or influenced by, the NAR. I noted this way back in 2014 in my article Top 10 NAR* and Seeker-Driven Buzzwords (see #7).

Omitting “the”? It’s not sinful, just weird.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Is rebuking Satan biblical?

August 8, 2023September 15, 2025 Michelle Lesley

I recently re-ran my article Five Words of Encouragement for Spiritual Warfare’s Battle-Weary Soldiers, which says of spiritual warfare:

“…when you unapologetically stand for Christ and the truth of His Word, you will not only face a full frontal attack from the world, you’ll also risk being stabbed in the back by those you thought were comrades in arms.

Dealing with and responding to those attacks – that’s what spiritual warfare is. Not this modern, ridiculous, NAR-inspired version of “binding” Satan and bellowing commands into the air as though you have the power and the authority to boss the devil around (Even Michael the archangel wouldn’t go there.). We’re called to be good soldiers of Christ Jesus, not the Commander.

As good soldiers in the Lord’s army (yes sir!) real, biblical spiritual warfare is being protected and prepared in the spirit to righteously and courageously walk out biblical truth on the battlefield of whatever tangible circumstances God has placed you in.”

After reading this, one of my Facebook followers had a question about spiritual warfare that I thought others might be wondering about, too. Here are her question and my (edited for The Mailbag) answer to her:

Can we, in Jesus’ name, order the devil out of our house?

Is it OK to rebuke Satan, order him out of your house, or even talk to him at all? No.
Tweet

Is it OK to rebuke Satan, order him out of your house, or even talk to him at all? No. That is an unbiblical belief and practice of the heretical New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) movement. No passage of Scripture teaches us to do that, and it is not spiritual warfare as taught by the Bible. Rather, Scripture tells us:

Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones. But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, was disputing about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a blasphemous judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you.” But these people blaspheme all that they do not understand, and they are destroyed by all that they, like unreasoning animals, understand instinctively.
Jude 8-10

And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, O Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?”
Zechariah 3:2

For context, it would probably be helpful to give the entire book of Jude a good study, but, simply put, “these people” verses 8 and 10 of Jude mention are basically the same sort of people you’ll find practicing NAR beliefs today. “Relying on their dreams,” rejecting the authority of Scripture, and blaspheming God every time they attribute false doctrine and fake “signs and wonders” to Him. People, who, in their spiritual arrogance, think they have the authority to bind and rebuke Satan, drive him out, etc., along with all the other typical NAR beliefs that go hand in hand with that – supposedly speaking things into existence, performing “miracles,” making “trips to Heaven,” and so on. That’s who verses 8 and 10 are talking about. Verse 9 provides a contrast to them, saying that even Michael, the mightiest archangel who stands in the very presence of God, would not dare to do such things. He left the rebuking of Satan to the Lord. The point of the passage is that, if Michael wouldn’t even rebuke Satan, then we definitely shouldn’t. That’s God’s place, not ours.

If the archangel Michael wouldn’t even rebuke Satan, then we definitely shouldn’t. That’s God’s place, not ours.
Tweet

The simplest and best way to approach this issue is to keep all your focus on Christ and let Him deal with whatever you think might be the devil or demons.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, or feeling tempted to sin, or feeling scared or whatever the case may be, God’s way is not for you to turn your mind to wondering if it’s a Satanic (or demonic) attack or what you should say to him to rebuke him. God’s way is for you to turn your mind completely in the other direction – to Christ. We know this because this is what the entirety of Scripture teaches. Pray and ask God to help you resist temptation, or not to feel scared, or to help you through the difficult situation. Praise Him. “Count your blessings” by thanking Him for all the ways He has blessed you. Worship Him and sing to Him. Memorize Scriptures that comfort and help you, and recite them. That’s what Scripture teaches us, and that’s God’s prescription for any situation you face. The rest of that stuff is just the false, unbiblical teaching of man.

If you’re in a church where Christians are “rebuking Satan” or constantly talking about it, and they’re not being corrected by the pastor and elders, the church you’re in is probably not doctrinally sound. I have never visited or been a member of a doctrinally sound church where this was an issue (unless someone asked about it to correct a friend who believed it or something like that), but I’ve visited plenty of wayward churches where it was an accepted or encouraged practice.

Not sure where your church stands? I would encourage you to go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Begin studying the “What to look for in a church” section, and see if your church matches up. If it does, great! I would suggest making an appointment with your pastor to get some guidance on this issue of rebuking Satan. If it doesn’t, you may need to scroll up on that page to the church search engines and begin looking for a new, doctrinally sound church to join.

Additional Resources:

Do Christians have the authority to rebuke the devil? at Got Questions

The Apostates’ Blasphemy at Grace to You

What Does Paul Say about Spiritual Warfare? at Tabletalk

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Keeping a diary… Training women to teach in co-ed classes… Celebrate, much?)

July 25, 2023February 26, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Is it a good idea to keep a diary in order to vent one’s frustrations and keep thoughts and feelings under lock and key? How might a Christian do it in a Christlike way that is healthy and beneficial?

I really like your second question. As Christians, that’s a question we should all be asking about everything we undertake. Atta girl!

But first we need to back up one step and ask ourselves, “Is this thing I want to do biblical?”. Because you can’t do an unbiblical thing in a Christlike way.

So, is “venting one’s frustrations” biblical? Well, again, as Christians, it’s really important that when we ask a question, we frame it in biblical terms and teachings rather than in contemporary culture’s terms and teachings, so let’s look at how Scripture describes the idea you’re talking about and reframe the issue accordingly.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:8

A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the Lord.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!
Psalm 102:1

With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
Psalm 142:1-2

Did you notice those passages are all from Psalms? What else did you notice those passages have in common? Is the psalmist just venting his frustrations out into the ether, or writing them down for his own sake? No, he’s pouring out his heart to Someone. Someone he believes can help him and do something about the situation. These are prayers. This is the biblical model for offloading what’s bothering you: “take it to the Lord in prayer,” “I must tell Jesus,” and “take your burden to the Lord and leave it there“. Prayer.

When you pray, “cry out to the Lord”, or “pour out your heart/complaint to the Lord,” you’re declaring that you believe:

He exists
He can help you
He is listening to you
He understands the situation, what you think about it, and how you feel about it
He is powerful enough to remedy the situation

I would encourage you to study the Psalms (you may want to start with the three above and any they cross-reference with) and carefully observe the way the psalmist poured out his complaint to the Lord. Take notes on the posture of his heart toward both his complaints and toward God. What is usually the psalmist’s perspective as he concludes the psalm? How do you see him express faith, trust, and hope in God’s goodness, power, and faithfulness? As you study, you might even want to pray these psalms back to God.

Like the psalmist, you’ll want to pour your heart out to God in prayer obediently. That means praying biblically about whatever your complaint or problem is. Your atheist co-worker is making your job difficult? The Bible says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Your husband isn’t saved? Pray for his salvation and ask God to help you submit to him. You’re in need of provision? Trust that the Lord already knows what you need and ask Him to provide for you today.

So by this point, you might be thinking, “Yeah, but I asked about writing all this stuff down in a diary. The psalmist obviously wrote down all of his thoughts, so that must be OK, right?”. Well, that’s something else we can learn from the Psalms. How do you know he wrote all these things down? Because you’re reading them. And so have billions of other people for several thousand years. Now, obviously, that’s not going to be the case with your diary, but perhaps you’ve heard the old adage that you should never put in writing anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of the newspaper? That’s good advice. A flimsy little diary lock isn’t going to keep anybody out who wants to get in there, and they are also notorious for malfunctioning. And what about after you die? Your husband and/or children are going to go through your things, and they’re going to read your diary. You certainly don’t want them or anyone else reading things that should remain between you and the Lord. It is for that reason that I would advise against writing down anything you wouldn’t want anyone else to read. Stick to reverently pouring out your complaints to the Lord.

Our church has struggled with having older women leaders and teachers to faithfully train up and disciple younger women. Our elders have decided that they want to train older women to be sound in Scripture so they can teach other women and not rely on DVD’S. However, part of this teaching development is to allow them to teach in our public co-ed adult Bible life classes on Sunday mornings so they can receive feedback from the male leaders and/or elders present in the room on their teaching. Once these women are trained, the plan is to continue to allow them to teach in mixed-gender classes occasionally or when a substitute teacher is needed so they may exercise their gift of teaching. I am convicted that this is violating 1 Timothy 2:12. Is this a biblical method for women to exercise their gift of teaching and to be trained for a woman teacher?

No, it absolutely is not. This is taking a good, biblical goal and sinning in order to accomplish it. It’s like a teenager saying, “I want to be faithful to my spouse when I get married, so the way I’m going to accomplish that is to go out and sleep with everybody I can right now and get it all out of my system.”. It’s almost beyond belief that your pastor and elders are considering such a ridiculous plan of action and that they think it’s biblical! They say they want to teach older women to be “sound in Scripture” while simultaneously violating Scripture.

It doesn’t even make logical sense when the stated reason they want to train these women is to teach women. Why have them teach a co-ed class for training? Why not have them teach a women’s class?

No. I’m sorry, but this is either just really, really dumb, or your pastor and elders are trying to sneak egalitarianism in the back door. I hate for either one of those to be the case, but I can’t think of an alterative. Whatever the case may be, having these women teach a co-ed class is, in and of itself, a violation of Scripture.

If a church wanted to implement a training program like this, there are plenty of ways it could be done without violating Scripture. The elders could evaluate the trainee as she teaches a women’s class. They could have her prepare a lesson and present it only to the elders so they could critique and instruct her. They could even send the women they want trained to a G3 Expository Teaching Workshop for Women.

I would suggest praying fervently for your pastor and elders to come to their senses, express your concern to them, and hope that they correct their course, but if they continue down this road over the long haul, it’s likely you’ll need to start looking for a new church. Because unrepentant sin snowballs. Today it’s “just” a teaching practicum in a co-ed class. Next, women will become permanent teachers of co-ed classes. And from there, can women preaching, and serving as pastors and elders be far behind?

Related Resources

McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

Fencing off the Forbidden Fruit Tree

Rock Your Role FAQs

It seems like in conservative churches these days that the most important people are the pregnant moms and women of child bearing age. They are routinely prayed for: to conceive, for the pregnancy, for the delivery, and then afterwards. They get showers and meals brought. Meanwhile there are a whole host of people with needs who are overlooked, milestones that go unrecognized, etc. In addition. The Scriptures say that those worthy of double honor are our leaders! Now I’m certainly not against women having babies, they are a blessing from the Lord. I’m not against rejoicing with those who rejoice, but it just seems overdone to me. At any given time there may be 2 or 3 pregnant and just as many with newborns. I seems to me that back in the day women just had babies with not alot of fanfare. In the meantime are we as dedicated in seeking to bring others to spiritual life? Just wondering what your take is. Are we out of balance?

I understand where you’re coming from, and I think there are several different ways this scenario could be “out of balance”.

First, I want to caution all of us (myself included- this is something I have to be careful about as well) not to assume that just because things are a certain way – either good or bad – in our own church that means they’re the same way in the majority of other churches. I think if you presented this scenario to a room full of women of all ages from different “conservative churches” all over the country, some would agree with you, but the majority would say, “It isn’t that way at my church,” whether they mean their church has a good balance of celebrations or their church foundationally lacks fellowship and doesn’t celebrate anything. I’m assuming you’re seeing this as an issue in your own church (or you wouldn’t have emailed me), so let’s keep our focus there and not on what may or may not be happening at other churches.

One thing we need to be sure to do is keep our categories straight and distinct. A plethora of weddings, showers, and meal trains for new moms has nothing to do with 1 Timothy 5:17‘s admonition to double honor elders who rule well unless something extreme is going on, like the church is spending so much money on these celebrations that they can’t afford to pay his salary, or church members are somehow failing to submit to his leadership with these celebrations, or something like that. So, I’m guessing we can go ahead and put that concern for your church to rest.

Do I think young people’s celebration of things is a bit over the top these days? Yeah, I do. But that’s just the way things are in our culture right now. I know young moms who make St. Patrick’s Day and Arbor Day practically as big a to-do for their kids as I made Christmas for mine. I see elementary schools having big parties with costumes and whatnot to celebrate the “100th day of school”. I never heard of such until about 5-10 years ago. I see these elaborate “gender reveal” parties and announcements taking place, when in my day, we used to just tell people the sex of the baby whenever we found out. (And not too long before that, “gender reveal” and birth were simultaneous!) None of those things are wrong, they’re just different from the way we used to do things. That happens in every generation. It’s normal.

If you think there are people and milestones being overlooked in your church, here’s what I’d suggest:

Get to know, and develop close Titus 2:3-5 relationships with those younger women. Celebrate their milestones with them. In many churches (and having been a member of and worked with lots of different churches over the years, I feel comfortable saying “many”) the younger women desperately need and desire older women to be involved in their lives, and the older women make plenty of excuses, but little to no effort to extend themselves in this way. This is a shameful dereliction of our duty as older women and outright disobedience to Scripture. Those young women need us, and the Bible commands us to be there for them.

If you think older women or others are having their needs or milestones overlooked, set up an appointment with your pastor, not to complain, but to lovingly express your concern and ask his advice about how to approach the situation.

If your pastor is OK with it, why don’t you gather up a few of those younger women you’ve gotten to know, as well as a few of the older women, and start jumping in and celebrating those milestones and providing for needs in areas that are lacking: meals and visits for shut-ins or those who have recently had surgery, retirement parties, or how about a baby shower for new grandmas? That could be fun!

When God shows us something in the church that’s lacking, it might be that He wants us to roll up our sleeves and get to work on it. You might have just found an incredible way to serve the church you love! What a blessing!

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Communion Questions

June 20, 2023February 25, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Is it biblical for women to administer communion to other women in a local church or a parachurch ladies gathering? It it biblical for a couple to administer communion at a social gathering in their home?

Communion.. the Lord’s Supper… the Lord’s Table… the breaking of bread and drinking of wine (or grape juice) as a memorial to our Lord’s suffering and death is an extremely solemn and serious ordinance of the church.

I mean, in the Corinthian church, people were getting sick and dying because they weren’t handling the Lord’s Supper in a godly way.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.
1 Corinthians 11:27-30

Take a moment and meditate on what that means. How seriously does God take the Lord’s Supper?

The Lord’s Supper is an ordinance of the gathered church, just like baptism is. You wouldn’t (I hope) baptize people at your Tupperware party or even your weekly women’s Bible study, and you shouldn’t be observing the Lord’s Supper in those sorts of venues either.

Look at the language in 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 and how it differentiates between eating outside the church gathering (at home) and partaking of the Lord’s Supper inside the worship gathering of the church. The language assumes that the Lord’s Supper takes place in the church gathering: “When you come together…” (17, 20), “When you come together as a church…” (18), “Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God…” (22), “when you come together to eat” (33), “if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together…” (34).

When you unbiblically remove the Lord’s Supper from the worship gathering of the church body, you immediately cheapen it. It becomes lesser. Just some little thing we do so we can feel like we’re being holy, or because we crave ritual. It’s reduced to the level of hors d’oeuvres or a party game. The purpose of the Lord’s Supper is for the gathered church to proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes (26).

And because it is an ordinance of the church, those who shepherd the church – pastors and elders – are responsible for administering it in a biblical way. That responsibility has not been given to any Tom, Dick, and Harry (or Dawn, Pat, and Mary, if you will) who decides he or she wants to offer it at a private shindig. It is a pastoral responsibility, which includes fencing the table.

So the answer to all of your questions is no. The Lord’s Supper should not be observed at parachurch meetings or social gatherings at all. (Or weddings. You didn’t ask about that, but I’m going to throw that in there, too, for the same reasons.) And the only reason I can think of that a church would have women administering the Lord’s Supper during a worship service instead of the pastor, elders, and/or deacons is either to appear egalitarian or because they are egalitarian, so that’s a “no” too.

What about situations like COVID, when the church can’t gather? Is “online communion” (taking the Lord’s Supper at home with whatever elements I have on hand while watching the pastor “administer” it online) OK?

No. First of all, as we learned from COVID, while there may be very temporary emergencies, the church can gather if it is being obedient to the Lord. Sometimes obedience is costly, but it can be done. Just ask our Savior, whose obedience cost Him torture and death.

Second, there’s no requirement for how often the church must observe the Lord’s Supper. Jesus said “as often as you do this,” not “every week” or “twice a month”. Once the temporary emergency is over the church can come back together and observe the Lord’s Supper as a body, in person, as indicated by Scripture.

“What about homebound, hospitalized, or dying people who are Providentially hindered from gathering with the church? Can a pastor administer the Lord’s Supper to those people outside the church gathering?”

I would leave that to a pastor’s discretion, but, if I were a pastor, I would be very reluctant to do so. Personally, I would urge those people, as well as anyone else who wants to observe the Lord’s Supper outside of the gathering of the church body to consider why they want to do that. I mean, dig deep and do some serious introspection about your reasons and what you actually believe about the Lord’s Supper.

I suspect some Christians, without even realizing it, may hold some Roman Catholic-adjacent or superstitious beliefs about the Lord’s Supper.

It’s not the thing you do right before you die (or any time) to make you right with God, forgive your sins, or secure your place in Heaven. That’s what Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection were for. And if you’re placing your faith for any of those things in partaking of the Lord’s Supper instead of, or in addition to Christ’s finished work on the cross, that’s idolatry.

It’s not something you do to assuage misplaced guilt about not being physically able to attend church (or, for that matter, to assuage appropriate guilt about forsaking the assembly when you actually could be there). If you are legitimately Providentially hindered from faithful church attendance, God knows that. He’s the One who allowed or placed you in that situation in the first place. You don’t need to “make it up to Him” or try to get “back” into His good graces by performing for Him by partaking of the Lord’s Supper. Rest. Rest in His grace, mercy, and divine Providence. You can partake when you’re able to go back to church, or when the whole church is one day gathered for the marriage supper of the Lamb.

It’s not something you do to somehow conjure up or invoke God’s presence into your midst. That’s a variant of necromancy or witchcraft. God is omnipresent. There’s not a millimeter of the universe in which He is not present. He’s at your social gathering. He’s at your parachurch meeting. What you want to do at those events is to pray, not observe the Lord’s Supper. In prayer, you recognize God’s presence, submit yourselves and your gathering to Him, and ask Him to guide your meeting. And, no, observing the Lord’s Supper isn’t “leveling up” on “just prayer”. Prayer and the Lord’s Supper are two different worship practices with two different purposes.

And, finally, the Lord’s Supper isn’t something you do to secure God’s blessing on whatever activity or venue you’re observing it in. It’s not a talisman. It’s not like rubbing a rabbit’s foot for luck or a baseball player going through his superstitious pre-game rituals so he’ll play well and win the game. Participating in the Lord’s Supper with your church family is a blessing – it’s the blessing of unity in Christ and the fellowship of proclaiming His death together until He comes, but you don’t do it to get God’s blessing on your marriage, your dinner party, or your pro-life meeting.

What would you say to a church not using unleavened bread for communion? The last time we took communion the bread was Italian bread, obviously had yeast in it. I don’t want to take the Lords supper with bread with yeast in it because yeast represents sin and Jesus has no sin in Him, and if we are to remember what He did, how can we use just regular bread. I did ask the pastor, he thought I had a good point, but I haven’t heard from him yet.

It’s great that you asked your pastor about this. That’s exactly what I would have advised you to do. I would encourage you to submit to his leadership on this issue.

Leavened bread is not a reason to abstain from the Lord’s Supper any more than grape juice instead of wine (or vice versa) is a reason to abstain. My personal opinion (not biblical mandate) is that unleavened bread and wine should be used because they are more historically accurate and truer to the details of Scripture than leavened bread and/or grape juice. That being said, I’ve never been a member of a church that didn’t use grape juice, and I have participated in observances of the Lord’s Supper that used leavened bread, and it didn’t bother me in the least.

We need to remember that the reason unleavened bread was used was not because leaven represented sin, although we do see that symbolism later, but because the Lord’s Supper began as the Last Supper, which was an observance of Passover. Unleavened bread was used for Passover because it memorialized the Israelites’ flight from Egypt. They did not have time for the dough to rise before the exodus. That’s where the unleavened bread for Passover, the Last Supper, and the Lord’s Supper came from. It had nothing to do with Jesus’ sinlessness because Jesus had not yet come at the time of the exodus.

We can also remember that Jesus used leavened bread when He fed the 5000, and in that very context of leavened bread, He Himself said, “I am the bread of life.” If leaven always represents sin, why would Jesus, who was sinless God, have referred to Himself in the context of everyday leavened bread?

If leavened bread is the only reason you’re abstaining from the Lord’s Supper, I would encourage you to stop abstaining and partake joyfully with your church family, proclaiming the Lord’s death until He comes.

We recently moved and have been attending a Southern Baptist church. They have not had communion for over two months. Isn’t it the norm to have communion at least once a month? …since we are new to this church we are still waiting and learning our place. We hesitate to make ourselves known as possibly unsubmissive or question why they do things the way they do. (From The Mailbag: Potpourri (…SBC Communion…))

These are such great questions because they help me, as a Southern Baptist, think about the way we do things and how those practices might be perceived by visitors or new members.

Every Southern Baptist church is autonomous, so each church has its own policy or practice about how often the Lord’s Supper is observed. There are some SBC churches who hold the Lord’s Supper every week and probably others who hold it only once or twice a year, although I don’t personally know of any who hold it that infrequently.

In my experience, most Southern Baptist churches observe the Lord’s Supper several times a year, usually on a schedule like the first Sunday of the month, once a quarter, or every “fifth Sunday” (in months that have five Sundays). In addition to these scheduled observances, many churches also observe the Lord’s Supper at their Christmas Eve, Good Friday, or Easter service.

I would encourage you and your husband to set up an appointment with the pastor and ask away! It is certainly not unsubmissive to sit in his office and politely say, “We’re new here and we were just wondering about…” Most pastors I know would love for potential members to do this.

We run into trouble when we start trying to “improve” on God’s Word and His ways. The Lord’s Supper is an ordinance of the church, to be observed in the gathering of the church body, and to be rightly administered by the pastor, elders, and/or deacons. Let’s leave it at that – nothing more, nothing less – right where Scripture leaves it.

Additional Resources:

The Last Supper ~ The Lord’s Supper

Forgiveness, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Can unforgiveness cause you to you lose your salvation?

June 13, 2023June 18, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 19, 2019

Can unforgiveness cause me to lose my salvation?

Forgiving (or refusing to forgive) others as it relates to our salvation is such an important issue. I’m so glad you asked!

Let’s break this question down a bit.

Can you lose your salvation?

The first thing we need to tackle is whether or not someone whom Christ has genuinely saved can lose her salvation – for unforgiveness or any other reason. And the answer to that question is no.

Why? The short answer is that if God saves someone, and that person can subsequently “unsave” herself, that makes her more powerful than God, which, as we know, can’t happen. You can’t save yourself, and you can’t unsave yourself. Salvation is all of God.

You can’t save yourself, and you can’t unsave yourself. Salvation is all of God.
Tweet

When God saves you, you are His new creation in Christ. You can’t “uncreate” your new spiritual life any more than you can “uncreate” your body, or a tree, or a planet. You can kill or do damage to those things, but you cannot reverse God’s creative process. To use another example, oh so relevant to today, God created you female. You can mutilate your body til kingdom come trying to appear male, but that will not change the fact that at your genetic level – the very essence of your being – you are female. And you can’t undo that because God created you that way, and you’re not more powerful than God. If you can’t even change God’s creation of your physical body, how in the world can you change God’s creation of your spiritual being?

The moment God saves you, He forgives all your sins, past, present, and future, and robes you in the righteousness of Christ.
Tweet

In addition to the fact that you can’t uncreate the new creature God has created you to be, you need to remember that the moment God saves you, He forgives all your sins, past, present, and future, and robes you in the righteousness of Christ. That swear word you’re going to say next week? Already forgiven. That lie you’re going to tell five years from now? Already forgiven. And if you decide to commit the sin of refusing to forgive someone, that sin has already been forgiven too. (So since all our sins are already forgiven, we can just commit as much sin as we want and we don’t have to worry about it, right? Wrong.) We still need to confess those sins to God and be cleansed from them because they disrupt our fellowship with God, but in His accounting office, that sin debt has already been marked “paid in full”.

Furthermore, Jesus tells us plainly that if He’s got you, He’s got you:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

No one. That includes you and your sin. The power of your sin is not greater than God’s power to forgive that sin.

The power of your sin is not greater than God’s power to forgive that sin.
Tweet

They will never perish. To say that a person about which Jesus Himself has said, “I give them eternal life,” can lose her salvation is to call Jesus a liar. He says that person “will never perish.” End of story.

Still not convinced that someone whom Christ has genuinely saved can’t lose her salvation? Try these passages on for size.

Now the reason it can look to us like someone can lose her salvation comes from two places: experience and misunderstanding the Bible.

The reason it can look to us like someone can lose her salvation comes from two places: experience and misunderstanding the Bible.
Tweet

Experience:
It’s happened plenty of times in the past, but in the last few weeks, we’ve seen two high profile evangelicals “walk away from the faith,”: Joshua Harris and Marty Sampson. Maybe you know someone personally – a friend, a loved one, even a pastor – who gave every appearance of being a Christian and then suddenly left Christianity, and the church, behind.

How does this compute when the Bible teaches that genuinely born again Christians cannot lose their salvation? Well, we need to remember something else the Bible teaches that’s very important:

Not everyone who claims to be a Christian actually is one.

Some people consciously know they’re not really saved and are just trying to pull the wool over the eyes of others. But many (my guess is “most” – these days there’s not a lot of social cachet in calling yourself a Christian) are deceived into believing they’re saved. Maybe they heard some sort of unbiblical gospel presentation and have put their faith in a decision they made in response. Maybe they just assume they’re saved because they’re good church-going people and their church doesn’t teach them otherwise. Who knows? It could be a lot of things. But we know for sure that there are many people who call themselves Christians and believe they are Christians who aren’t. Why? Because the Bible says so:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Matthew 7:21-23

“Many will say”…False converts are common, not few and far between. And it’s not just your average Joe or Jane in the pew, either. People who “prophesy…cast out demons…do mighty works” under the auspices of Christianity? They’re pastors, elders, deacons, Bible study teachers, seminary professors, “Christian” authors, evangelical celebrities. And Christ does not know them, because they don’t know Him. They talk the talk, and might even look like they walk the walk, but they’ve never truly believed the biblical gospel, repented of their sin, and trusted the Jesus of Scripture to save them. First John 2:18-19 puts it this way:

Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us.

People whom Jesus has genuinely saved may fall into sin for a season, but they do not fall away from the faith. Those who leave the faith were never part of it in the first place, despite appearances or their claims to the contrary. It might be difficult, but this is one of those occasions when we have to believe what Scripture says over what we can see.

Those who leave the faith were never part of it in the first place, despite appearances or their claims to the contrary.
Tweet

Jesus also tells us in the parable of the sower that there will be be “rocky ground” folks who will appear to be Christians, but because they have no root, they “endure for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away.” Jesus follows up this parable with the parable of the wheat and tares which further drives home His point that there will be impostors in the visible church.

So even though we observe people who appear to be Christians “falling away from the faith,” through unforgiveness or any other sin, we know that what’s really happening is that a lost person got tired of pretending to be saved and went back to being a lost person. Second Peter 2:22 puts it this way:

What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”

If Christ has never fundamentally changed your spiritual nature from dog or pig into a new creature in Christ, you’re still a dog or a pig. And even if you manage to clean up on the outside you’ll eventually return to the vomit of being a dog and the mud of being a pig because that’s your nature.

Misunderstood Scripture
There are passages in the Bible that, when misunderstood, when taken out of their immediate context, or when taken out of the overall context of Scripture can seem to teach that a person can lose her salvation. But as we’ve seen, there are way too many rightly handled, in context passages of Scripture that refute that idea.

Can you lose your salvation by refusing to forgive someone?

You mentioned in your original question that you believe unforgiveness can cause someone to lose her salvation because, “It is so clear in so many ways in Scripture, even parables that Jesus told.” But, you did not mention any of the Scriptures you think teach this. My guess is that one of the Scriptures you’re thinking of is Matthew 6:14-15:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

In context, we can see that these two verses come at the end of the Lord’s Prayer. In verse 12, Jesus has just taught us to pray that God would “forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors,” and He’s giving us a little addendum on this in 14-15.

Remember, even though all our sins from birth to death were forgiven at the moment of our salvation, we still need to confess our sins in prayer and ask God to cleanse us from our wrongdoing to bring us back into right fellowship with Him. But if you’re willfully in the middle of committing the sin of unforgiveness against someone, you’re still actively sinning. You haven’t turned from that sin in order to be cleansed. You’re essentially rolling around in the mud and asking God to cleanse you while you have no intention of getting out of the mud. How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t make any sense. If you want to get cleaned up (“forgiven”), you have to get out of the mud (stop committing the sin of unforgiveness – “forgive”). Otherwise, you’re asking God to restore the fellowship you’re still actively damaging with your sin.

Another passage you might be thinking of is the parable of the unforgiving servant. The takeaway from this passage is not that God will rescind the salvation of Christians who commit the sin of unforgiveness. This passage doesn’t say that and we already know that idea conflicts with what Scripture teaches about the security of the Believer.

The takeaway from this passage is that God has forgiven us a sin debt that is incomprehensible. Knowing and having experienced that forgiveness, how could we not forgive some paltry little sin another human commits against us? First John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us,” and the way He loved us was to forgive us our sin. So we also forgive because He first forgave us. And if we can giddily and unrepentantly harbor unforgiveness in our hearts against someone else, we’d better start testing ourselves against Scripture to see if we’re really in the faith. Because that kind of unforgiveness is not the fruit of a redeemed life, it’s the fruit of someone who’s unsaved.

No, a genuinely regenerated Christian cannot lose her salvation by committing the sin of unforgiveness. But if she is genuinely regenerated, she will repent of that sin and forgive.

A genuinely regenerated Christian cannot lose her salvation by committing the sin of unforgiveness. But if she *is* genuinely regenerated, she will repent of that sin and forgive.
Tweet