Michelle Lesley

Today’s edition of The Mailbag is a tad different in format. Usually, I answer one reader’s question in a long form article. Today, I’m addressing various questions from several readers in a “short answer” format.

Just a reminder- I changed my comments/e-mail/messages policy a few months ago, so I’m not responding individually to most e-mails and messages. Here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

Have you heard of Nabeel Qureshi? What do you think of his teaching and ministry?

I know little about Nabeel except that he was saved out of Islam and now has a ministry that centers on evangelizing Muslims. I’ve never listened to him speak or read any of his books, so I can’t comment one way or the other on the doctrinal specifics he teaches.

However, he is not someone I’d recommend anyone follow. Tragically, Nabeel was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, and shortly thereafter decided that the thing to do would be to head to Bethel “Church” in Redding, California to have them pray over him for supernatural healing. If you’re not familiar with Bethel, or its leader, Bill Johnson, you may wonder why that’s problematic.

It’s problematic because Bethel is basically ground zero for the New Apostolic Reformation heresy- the most dangerous and destructive heresy attacking the church at large today. Dozens of Christians familiar with NAR false doctrine urged Nabeel on social media not to go to Bethel, and Nabeel blew them off, went anyway, and came back downplaying Bethel’s false teaching as minor, inconsequential differences in theology.

Nabeel also apparently believes in extra-biblical revelation as evidenced by this July 2017 Facebook post:

Cancer is a horrid, painful ordeal. I sympathize with Nabeel’s suffering and have prayed for him. But as our Lord so beautifully demonstrated at His temptation in the wilderness and on the cross, even the worst kind of suffering is not an excuse to compromise Scripture or disobey God.

Do you have any resources you’d recommend for women who are married to men who aren’t leading spiritually?

I know it can be really frustrating and painful when you desperately want your husband to be the spiritual leader of your home and he either can’t (because he’s not saved) or he won’t (due to spiritual immaturity, fear, disobedience, etc.)

I’m sure there are books and resources out there that at least touch on this topic, but I don’t read a lot of materials about marriage, so I’m not familiar enough with any to recommend them. (Perhaps someone reading this might like to make a suggestion in the comments? Doctrinally sound authors only, please.) Grace to You’s resources and store and Ligonier’s learn and store are always a good place to look for solid books and resources.

There are a few things I would recommend aside from marriage books, however:

♦ Pray for your husband, and be prepared that you may be in it for the long haul. If he’s not saved, pray for his salvation. If he’s saved but disobedient in this area, pray for his obedience, and ask God to show you how to encourage and help (not nag) him along the way. Ask God to increase your love, understanding, and compassion for your husband.

♦ If your husband is saved and willing to lead but feels inadequate, see if you can find him some help – a Christian men’s group, an older gentleman in your church who’d be willing to disciple him, some counseling sessions with the pastor – if he’s open to the idea of you helping or suggesting in this way. Be careful not to be pushy or bossy about these things or harp on him about attending.

♦ Be faithful to your personal Bible study time. First of all, you need it. Second of all, it sets a good example for your husband.

♦ Any time your husband makes the slightest step toward godly spiritual leadership, encourage him and affirm his leading. That sounds easy right now, but, at least early on, part of that is going to include you submitting to some decisions he makes that you don’t agree with. As long as those decisions aren’t unbiblical, grit your teeth and submit, because…

♦ The Bible says your behavior can have a tremendous impact on your husband. Take some time to study 1 Peter 3:1-6 and 1 Corinthians 7 (especially verses 12-16). These passages both deal with wives who have unbelieving or disobedient husbands, and how our behavior can either encourage them toward godliness or become a stumbling block to them.

Is it dangerous to be involved in yoga even though I don’t practice the meditation part of it? I just like the stretches and exercise I get from it. What are your thoughts?

“Dangerous” isn’t the word I’d choose. “Disobedient” is a better fit. Here are my thoughts (remember, the search bar is your friend):

Should Christians do yoga?

What’s your take on this essential oils craze so many Christian women seem to be into?

There are a lot of different facets to this question:

♦ Some companies who make and sell essential oils and some people who use them do so in conjunction with beliefs in chakras, energies, auras, and all that New Age movement jazz. (Christian Answers for the New Age has more in depth information on those issues.) No Christian should be dabbling around in occultic beliefs and practices.

♦ The oils themselves are spiritually “inert,” so picking up a bottle at the store is not a sin (though you might want to do a little research on the store and/or company that makes the oil to make sure you’re not financing beliefs you don’t want to support).

♦ There are multi-level marketing (MLM) businesses that sell essential oils in the same way people sell Tupperware or Pampered Chef. If that is the business you have chosen, make sure you’re not selling for a company that subscribes to the New Age stuff I mentioned above, don’t annoy your friends, and don’t make a practice of doing business at church. If you have a friend who MLM’s non-New Agey essential oils and you want to buy some, that’s absolutely fine, biblically speaking.

♦ If essential oils work on your minor ailments and that’s what you want to use instead of over the counter medications, there’s no Scriptural problem with that. Just be a good steward of the body and health God gave you and make sure you get proper medical attention for symptoms and illnesses that require it.

I read your article, Should Christians Attend Homosexual “Weddings”? and wanted to know, should Christians attend the wedding of a Christian and an unsaved person? What about the wedding of two unsaved (heterosexual) people?

I would advise Christians not to attend the wedding of a professing believer to an unbeliever due to Scripture’s admonition against this in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. As with a homosexual “wedding,” Christians should not be supporting, participating in, or giving the appearance of supporting, sin, and a believer marrying someone he or she knows is an unbeliever is sin.

There is no biblical prohibition against an unsaved man and an unsaved woman getting married, so unless there are other grounds on which you cannot support the union (for example- you know he abuses her or you know she’s been cheating on him during the engagement), you would not be supporting, participating in, or appearing to support sin by attending the wedding of two unsaved heterosexual people. (May I suggest a couple’s Bible or Bible study book as a wedding gift?)

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Speaking Engagements

Report Back: New Jersey

August 11, 2017April 13, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Last weekend I had a wonderful time speaking at Corbin City Baptist Church’s women’s conference and fellowshipping with some sweet, godly sisters (and their equally awesome pastor!). I wanted to share a bit about it with y’all, my co-laborers in Christ.

After Randy (CCBC’s pastor), Cathy (his wife), and Linda (who graciously opened her home to me for the weekend) picked me up from the Philadelphia airport, we went to Adelphia Restaurant for supper- a must visit if you’re ever in the area. Great food and a fun atmosphere.

A good night’s sleep was had by all, and the next morning it was conference time! I taught two sessions: Foundations of Discernment: The Centrality of Christ, His Word, and His Bride and Discernment 101, followed later by a Q&A session, which I thoroughly enjoyed. (Normally, I would re-post the conference sessions here on the blog in article form, but both were largely drawn from my Basic Training articles, Is She a False Teacher?, Clinging to the Golden Calf, Popular False Teachers, and other discernment articles.)

Several of the ladies drove quite a way to attend the conference, as doctrinally sound churches are few and far between in the Northeast. There was a broad range of spiritual maturity and experience represented, but these ladies were sharp, attentive, receptive, and asked great questions. I sensed a real hunger among them for sound doctrine and the unadulterated truth of God’s word. What an encouragement it was to be with them!

The lovely ladies of CCBC

And, speaking of hunger, CCBC’s ladies put on a lovely brunch with a seaside theme between the two sessions. They also presented me with a humongous tote bag full of goodies and New Jersey souvenirs. These ladies treated me like a queen and epitomized biblical hospitality and kindness. It was extremely humbling and I was deeply honored.

After the conference, Cathy, Linda, and another CCBC sister, Theresa, whisked me off to the Ocean City boardwalk, which would have been worth the trip solely for the mouth-watering aromas wafting from dozens of food stands. Oh. my. good. ness. I’d like to stay for about a week and eat my way from one end to the other! We stopped at Shriver’s, a huge candy shop famous for its fudge and salt water taffy, where we got to watch part of the process of taffy-making.

I was so sorry I hadn’t been able to bring my husband and children with me. They would have loved the arcades, mini golf, ferris wheel, water slides, shops, and, of course, the beach. It was unbelievably kind of Cathy to buy some world famous Johnson’s Popcorn to send back to my kiddos.

Wonderland Arcade Johnson’s Popcorn

Those dots in the sky are people parasailing

It was fun to walk back across the intracoastal waterway bridge to the car, and the breeze coming off the ocean was cool and energizing. It was the perfect appetite-builder for an awesome dinner of fish and chips (I love that they put Old Bay spice on the “chips”!) before heading back to the house, and a much needed soak in Linda’s relaxing hot tub.

Sunday, it was such a joy to worship with the CCBC family and sit under Randy’s excellent expository preaching. After hugs goodbye, it was time to head back to the airport. I had a wonderful time chatting about ministry with Cathy and Randy on the way. When we stopped for lunch, I had the opportunity to try one more specialty food of the area: scrapple. Not too bad, but I think I’ll stick with the taffy and fish ‘n’ chips!

It was a wonderful trip filled with such sweet people. Would you take just a moment right now to pray for Pastor Randy and our brothers and sisters at CCBC? And, if you live in, or travel to, the Corbin City area, I highly recommend visiting Corbin City Baptist Church.

There’s a historic bell up in that tower
that they still ring every Sunday!

If your church is ever in need of a speaker for a women’s event, I’d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information.

Photo Credits:

1- Photo courtesy of Adelphia Restaurant, Deptford, New Jersey
2- Photos courtesy of Leslie Kohler, Corbin City Baptist Church
(All other photos by Michelle Lesley)

Mark Bible Study

Mark: Lesson 13

August 9, 2017April 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Mark 9:30-50

They went on from there and passed through Galilee. And he did not want anyone to know, ³¹for he was teaching his disciples, saying to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him. And when he is killed, after three days he will rise.” ³²But they did not understand the saying, and were afraid to ask him.

³³And they came to Capernaum. And when he was in the house he asked them, “What were you discussing on the way?” ³⁴But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. ³⁵And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” ³⁶And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, ³⁷“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”

³⁸John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” ³⁹But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. ⁴⁰For the one who is not against us is for us. ⁴¹For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.

⁴²“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. ⁴³And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. ⁴⁵And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. ⁴⁷And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ⁴⁸‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’ ⁴⁹For everyone will be salted with fire. ⁵⁰Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”

Questions to Consider

1. Today’s lesson is the culmination of Mark 9. Briefly review the first half of Mark 9 in lesson 12 (link above). Where was the “there” that “they went on from”? (30) Why did Jesus not want anyone to know He was passing through Galilee? (30-31)

2. Compare verses 31-32 with Mark 8:31-33 and Mark 9:9-10. Between Mark 8 and 9, how many times has Jesus taught some or all of the disciples about His impending death and resurrection? Why do they still not understand? Was it because they had no frame of reference the concept of resurrection? Because they didn’t understand why anyone would kill Jesus? Because of their incorrect expectations of what Messiah would do (review questions 7 and 9 in lesson 11 {link above})? Why do you think the disciples were afraid to ask Jesus to clarify things? (32)

3. Consider verse 34 in light of the disciples’ lack of understanding in 31-32. How might their understanding of, and focus on, Christ’s impending death, burial, and resurrection have changed the disciples’ conversation? How should focusing on the gospel change your conversation- the people you’re willing to talk to, the words you use, and the topics of your discussions with people? How do verses 34-35 reveal Christ’s omniscience?

4. Which two types of people does Jesus use as illustrations of humility in verses 35-36? What are the characteristics of a servant that demonstrate humility? A young child? How do humble Christians show these characteristics of a servant or a child in their daily lives?

5. What does it mean to receive someone (37), cast out demons (38) or do anything in Jesus’ name? Does it simply mean to tack the words “in Jesus’ name” on to the end of whatever you’re saying or doing?

When John says the exorcist “was not following us” (38), does he mean that this man was not a believer in Christ (i.e. not a “Christ-follower”), or does he mean that the man was not accompanying Jesus and the disciples on their itinerant journeys through Israel? Is it possible for someone who is not a Believer to do anything in Jesus’ name? Compare verses 39-40 with these passages. Is there any middle ground when it comes to being with or for Jesus and being against Him? Examine your own heart- are you with Christ or against Him? How can you tell?

6. What does God think of those who tempt, entice, or deceive others into sinning? (42) How does this verse help us understand how seriously God views sin?

7. Examine verses 43-47. Does sin originate in your hand, your foot, or your eye? Where does sin originate, which then tempts you to sin with your hands, feet, or eyes? Is Jesus speaking literally in these verses, or is He employing hyperbole? What is the main idea Jesus is trying to get across in these verses? Is sin really as big a deal as Jesus is making it out to be in this passage? Why? (48-49)

8. In the ancient world, salt was an important, but hard to get, commodity. It was used for flavoring, to preserve meat, and for other purposes– even in the temple. Think like a first century Jew or Gentile about salt- what would Jesus’ words in verses 50-51 have meant in your culture? How do these verses apply to Christians today?

Homework

Look back over verses 43-47, and think about the sins you’re tempted to commit: things you do (hands), places you go (feet), things you watch or view (eyes). Choose a sin you particularly struggle against. Is it something you do or see, or is it somewhere you go?

What is one practical step you could take to “cut off” or “tear out” that temptation before you fall into sin again? For example, maybe you need to stop watching a certain TV show, take a different route home from work to avoid a tempting place, or stop hanging out with that person who’s a bad influence on you. Prayerfully implement that step this week.

Suggested Memory Verse

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”
Mark 9:42

Christian women, Discernment

Sammy

August 8, 2017August 7, 2017 Michelle Lesley

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See this dog? His name is Sammy and he belongs to our next door neighbors. The way I know this is that Sammy frequently escapes from their yard and comes over to visit mine.

Sammy’s a good egg. He’s friendly and just looking to collect a few more buddies. He’s also dumb as a sack of hair and totally disobedient to his masters. He runs when they tell him to come. He stays in my yard when they tell him to go home.

A few days ago, I went for my regular power walk and Sammy happened to be out in his own front yard. I headed past his house for the pond where I usually walk, and soon noticed that he was following me. I turned and told him to go home. Sammy sneezed in protest and completely disregarded my instruction. OK, I thought, I’ll ignore him, he’ll get bored, and he’ll go back home. Problem solved.

Only it wasn’t. Sammy continued to follow me for the next half mile or so, far away from his home. I was worried he’d get lost on his way back. I was worried he’d get hit by a car on his way back. I was worried he’d never BE on his way back. I was also a little worried people would think this hare-brained dog was mine and yell at me when he explored their flower beds.

Finally, a little farther down the road, I turned around and Sammy had disappeared. He must have made it back home all right because he’s still getting loose and visiting my house pretty regularly.

Sammy reminds me of a lot of Christian women these days. They have a Master – Christ – who loves them, provides for them, cares for them, and has adopted them into His family. And because Christ loves them, He has put up the fence of His word and His precepts to keep them safe and protected- to give them a place where they can flourish in Him.

But these “Sammys” refuse to be hemmed in, either because they’re ignorant of God’s word or they’re rebellious against it. All they know is that there are a million fun and exciting things on the other side of the fence. Things they feel like doing and experiencing.

And one day, when they’ve put a toe over the line by wandering around in the front yard instead of the back, a false master strolls by. She’s different. New. Shiny. A change of pace from the regular routine. This master isn’t Sammy’s real master. She doesn’t care for Sammy, keep her safe, provide for her, or make sure Sammy grows and flourishes. But this false master is exciting. She’s going to the pond Sammy has always wanted to visit. She doesn’t put up fences, get out the leash, or holler, “Come!” She lets Sammy do what Sammy wants to do. And she leads Sammy farther and farther away from her home with her true Master.

Some Sammys manage to find their way back home. Some get hit by cars along the way. But most just keep wandering from one false master to another, forgetting that their true Master never intended for them to end up a stray.

Go home, Sammy. Sit, and stay.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Leaving an Unbiblical Ministry Position

August 7, 2017June 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

How do I gracefully step down from a parachurch ministry where I, as a female, have been preaching to men and teaching Bible Studies to men? I know this is unbiblical, so my mind is saying, “GET OUT!” But, emotionally, I feel guilty for leaving and that I would be letting down the participants and my friend, who’s a co-leader.

Do you know anyone who has had to part ministry ways with a friend, and/or a woman who stepped down from preaching and teaching men, who would be willing to connect with me or just pray for me?

I’ve never been in that particular position myself, so I can only imagine the difficulty of stepping down from such a ministry. I will certainly pray for you, and ask my readers to stop here and take a moment to pray for this sweet sister in Christ, as well.

I have previously addressed the idea of women preaching to men or teaching them the Bible in parachurch or evangelistic outreach types of situations in my article Rock Your Role FAQs:

…So, when a body of believers comes together for these purposes [worship, prayer, the sacraments, and/or the study of God’s word], regardless of the building in which they meet, or whether you call it “church” or not, they are the church, and the biblical parameters about women teaching and holding authority over men applies…

…When it comes to outreach ministries (for example, a meal for the homeless, followed by a group gospel presentation or Bible lesson), it’s best for a man to lead co-ed (or male only) adult groups in anything that could be construed as preaching or teaching the Bible…

(Click the link above and see #7 & 11 for the complete answers.)

How to gracefully step down? I think you should do so the same way you would if you had to leave because you were moving away or took a new job whose hours conflicted with the ministry’s. You kindly inform the leadership of the ministry that you will no longer be able to participate, and briefly explain why. And in this case, you should also prayerfully consider how you might repent toward your co-leader friend and the participants, in whatever way seems biblically wisest.

Because you do have to leave, and for a reason far more important than an upcoming move or a new job: obedience to Scripture. Leaving due to a move or a job would probably not induce such intense feelings of guilt because you would look at those situations as unavoidable, or out of your hands. But as a slave of Christ who must do her Master’s bidding, if the Word of God requires something of you, it is out of your hands and unavoidable. Obedience to Scripture is not optional for Christians, nor contingent on our convenience, comfort, or circumstances, nor does God accept excuses for our disobedience.

As you’re experiencing, obedience to Scripture can often be difficult. But “Atta girl!” for hunkering down and doing it anyway through the strengthening of the Holy Spirit. I think you will find that the Lord will grow you in holiness and dependence on Him through this situation. May He use you in the future as an example and help to other Christian women facing like circumstances.

If you’ve had a similar experience to this reader and would like to connect with her to encourage her or pray for her, please comment below or e-mail (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com) me with your name and contact information (e-mail, social media, or phone number- I will read, but not publish, comments containing this private information), and I will pass it along to her. Or feel free to share your own experience in the comments section below.