Month: June 2023

Discernment

Throwback Thursday ~ Bad Fruit, Diseased Trees, and the Authority of God’s Word

Michelle Lesley

Originally published October 14, 2016

I hate having to warn women against false teachers. I really do. I would like nothing better than to write Bible studies all day long, but, like Jude said, sometimes contending for the faith is more urgent at the moment. Today, as it was in the New Testament church, false doctrine is rampant. You can hardly throw a rock out the sanctuary window without hitting a false teacher, particularly female false teachers.

You can hardly throw a rock out the sanctuary window without hitting a false teacher, particularly female false teachers.

Invariably, when I warn against a specific popular false teacher I get a few responses from disgruntled readers jumping to that teacher’s defense. (I understand where those feelings come from. I’ve had to hear hard, biblical truths about teachers I’ve followed, too. It’s no fun.) I tend to hear the same arguments over and over (which is one reason I wrote this article). But there’s one thing all of these arguments have in common:

They’re not based on rightly handled Scripture.
Sometimes they’re not based on Scripture at all.

As Christians, we are supposed to base everything we believe and teach upon the truth of Scripture. And the women defending these false teachers aren’t doing that. They’re basing their defense of a false teacher on twisted, out of context Scripture and/or their own opinions, feelings, experiences, and preferences.

As Christians, we are supposed to base everything we believe and teach upon the truth of Scripture. And the women defending these false teachers aren’t doing that.

Twisted Scripture:

Sometimes these ladies will try to appeal to Scripture to defend the false teacher. I applaud them for that. Genuinely. At least they know that we’re supposed to be basing what we say and do on the Bible. That’s a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, most of these attempts only reveal how poorly they’ve been taught the Bible by the false teachers who have trained them.

“Did you meet privately with this teacher before writing this article?”

“You’re just judging! The Bible says not to judge!”

“You’re creating division in the church!”

Most of the time these women have no idea where those Scriptures are found, or even precisely what they say, much less the context of the verses they’re appealing to. (In order not to misunderstand their intent, I usually have to respond by saying, “Are you referring to Matthew 18:15-20?” or “I’m sorry, could you tell me which verse you’re talking about?”) They don’t know or understand the Scripture they’re alluding to, they’re just repeating what they’ve heard from the false teacher (or her other followers) defending herself and lashing out at those who call her to account.

Nothing More than Feelings:

Perhaps more disturbing are the near-Stepford gushings of some defenders:

“I’ve never heard anything so mean! How could you say such things about this wonderful teacher?”

“I just love her and the way she teaches!”

“You’re just jealous of her success.”

“She’s been such a help and encouragement to me!”

These ladies don’t even attempt to bring the Bible into the discussion, and their loving support for the false teacher is often coupled with vitriolic, completely un-Christlike, devoid of any fruit of the Spirit, attacks on those who dare to question the false teacher. I like this person. I’ve had a positive experience with this person. I have good feelings and opinions about this person. And that – not the Bible – is what I’m basing my decision to follow her upon. How dare you speak against her?

And is it any wonder? When women sit under the teaching of pastors and teachers who skip through the Bible ripping verses out of context and twisting their meanings, who say “the Bible says” followed by their own agenda and imaginings, who point women back to themselves as their own authority, rather than Scripture, by basing their teachings on their own ideas and life experiences instead of the Bible, what do we expect?

Jesus said in Matthew 7:15-20:

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.” (emphasis, mine)


Ladies, look at the fruits of these false teachers: women who believe false doctrine because they are unable to properly read, understand, and handle God’s Word, and who base their belief system on their own feelings rather than on the authority of Scripture. That is bad fruit from a diseased tree.

Look at the fruits of these false teachers: women who believe false doctrine because they are unable to properly read, understand, and handle God’s Word.

Christian women must be properly trained in the Scriptures. How? By eradicating false teachers and all their sundry materials from our churches, homes, and Bible study classes. By properly training Sunday School and Bible study teachers. By teaching the women of our churches proper hermeneutics and sound doctrine. By exercising biblical church discipline against false teaching. And most of all, by reinstating the authority of Scripture to its rightful preeminence in our lives and in our churches.

It is imperative that we train Christians to understand and embrace that Scripture alone decides what we believe, which teachers we allow into our churches and our lives, and how we are to worship and practice the Christian faith. Basing these things on our feelings, opinions, and preferences is folly, a house built on the sand, because our hearts are deceitful and desperately sick, and we will always trend toward having our ears tickled with smooth words rather than having our souls pierced by the sharp two edged sword of God’s Word. “Sanctify them in the truth,” Jesus prayed in John 17:17, “Your Word is truth.” And, indeed it is. It is the only trustworthy basis for life, faith, and doctrine that will never lead us astray. When our feelings and opinions rise up against God’s Word, God’s Word wins.

When our feelings and opinions rise up against God’s Word, God’s Word wins.

May we hold high the banner of Sola Scriptura, training the precious souls of women to understand and submit to the authority of God’s Word, that one day, bad fruit and diseased trees might become a thing of the past.

Discernment Bible Study

Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment- Lesson 8

Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Ewes Need to Take Care
to Avoid the Wolves

Read These Passages

Questions to Consider

Throughout this study we will be looking at various passages of Scripture rather than working our way through a book of the Bible verse by verse. Because of that, we will need to be extra vigilant to rightly handle these passages in context. I will always attempt to provide the context you need for understanding these passages correctly, but if you need more clarity please feel free to read as much of the surrounding text as you need to – even the whole book, if necessary – in order to properly understand the passage presented.

1. Carefully study the first five verses of the 2 Timothy passage. Using your cross references, any other related passages, and perhaps a side by side comparison with other reliable translations, or an interlinear, define or explain each of the characteristics listed in these verses:

  • lovers of self-
  • lovers of money-
  • proud-
  • arrogant-
  • abusive-
  • disobedient to their parents-
  • ungrateful-
  • unholy-
  • heartless-
  • unappeasable-
  • slanderous-
  • without self-control-
  • brutal-
  • not loving good-
  • treacherous-
  • reckless-
  • swollen with conceit-
  • lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-
  • having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power-

Is Timothy saying these things are characteristic of the world, the visible church (Christians and non-Christians), genuinely regenerated Christians only, or some combination of these three? Why do you think so?

From the immediate context and the context of the Bible in general, does verse five’s admonition to “avoid such people” mean only the people described in verse 5 or all of the people described in verses 2-5? Generally speaking, why would God want us to avoid all of these types of people, especially if they claim to be Christians (5) while acting this way? Go back through your list above and explain why it would be detrimental to your character and your walk with the Lord to associate with people of each of these character types.

2. Now, more specifically, why does verse 6 say to avoid these types of people? (Note: What word does verse 6 start with? What’s another word we could use there in place of “for”? When you’re looking for the reason God said something, words like “for” and “because” can help you answer the question, “Why?”.)

Compare the phrase “those who creep into households” in verse 6 with the metaphor we saw Jesus use in lesson 6 (link above), particularly in John 10:1. Who are both of these verses talking about? How do both of these verses describe the infiltration of false teachers into the church and home? Are false teachers above board, walking in the truth of Scripture?

Compare the concept of “capturing” in verse 6 with the concept of “thief and robber” in John 10:1. What does it mean to capture someone and to commit thievery and robbery? Why does God use this imagery for false teachers? Compare this idea of false teachers absconding with or luring away people to whom they have no right with John’s description of doctrinally sound “gatekeepers” (pastors and teachers, v. 3). Do doctrinally sound pastors have to deceptively lure or steal people away to the true teaching of Christ? Why not? What do they do instead (3)?

3. At this time, I’d like “ewes” :0) to focus on the second half of verse 6. Who, precisely, does God say the false teachers creep in and capture? Does He say “weak men”? “Weak Christians”? “Weak people”? Considering the fact that God never misspeaks and always says exactly what He means, why (6b) does God specify that “weak women” are in danger from false teachers?

What does God mean that these women are “burdened with sins” and “led astray by various passions“? Why would a woman in this spiritual condition be especially vulnerable to false teachers? What would a doctrinally sound pastor or teacher tell her about her sins or her fleshly cravings and feelings? Read 6b in light of 2 Timothy 4:3-4. How would a false teacher scratch her itching ears about her sins and passions?

4. Really ponder the meaning and weight of verse 7. Gaggles of weak, sinful women always reading a book or listening to a podcast by a false teacher, going to “Bible” study after “Bible” study featuring materials by false teachers, spending hundreds of dollars year after year on tickets for conferences and simulcasts headlined by false teachers. Always learning, but never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. Jesus said, “I am the truth,” and “[Father,] Sanctify them in the truth; Your Word is truth.” Think about it. If your friends who follow false teachers are never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth, Who and what are they not learning about?

5. And why is that? How do we know they’re not learning the truth from these false teachers according to verse 8? In what three ways does God characterize these false teachers in 8b? What does it mean that they “oppose the truth,” are “corrupted in mind,” and are “disqualified regarding the faith”? How do each of those characteristics prevent vulnerable women from arriving at a knowledge of the truth?

6. Remember that 2 Timothy is a pastoral epistle, so the passage we just read may be instructive to us as women, but to whom is it primarily written? (see lesson 7, link above, if you forgot). How is God demonstrating His love and care for women in this passage by instructing pastors to watch out for these false teachers who prey on women, and keep them out of the church?

7. Read the Genesis 3 passage and 1 Timothy 2:14 through the lens of what we’ve just looked at in 2 Timothy 3. Why do you think Satan may have approached the woman in the Garden instead of the man? How do these passages work together to alert us as women to vigilantly watch out for a potential blind spot we may have regarding false teachers and deception?

God created women with some incredible strengths. Generally speaking, women are usually much better nurturers than men. We’re usually better communicators than men. And, frequently it’s much easier for women to trust, love, and give the benefit of the doubt to others than it is for men.

And along with those unique strengths come unique challenges. For example, being trusting is a fantastic character trait, but it’s imperative that we be vigilant not to put our trust in the wrong person – like a false teacher.

Why is it especially important that women learn and practice discernment?

Homework

  • Second Timothy 3:5 instructs us to “avoid” ungodly people, especially those who claim to be Christians and turn out to be false teachers. “Avoid them.” Does this command leave room for the “chew up the meat and spit out the bones” approach so many Christians think is appropriate to use with false teachers today? What about the common idea that it’s OK to use songs with “biblical” lyrics from heretical groups (like Bethel, Hillsong, and Elevation) in our worship services? Does “Avoid them” allow for that? Read #8 here.
  • Some professing Christians defend false teachers by saying, “Look how many people she’s helping!”. If false teachers’ audiences are “never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth,” are they really helping anybody? Read #3 here.

Suggested Memory Verse

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Communion Questions

Michelle Lesley

Is it biblical for women to administer communion to other women in a local church or a parachurch ladies gathering? It it biblical for a couple to administer communion at a social gathering in their home?

Communion.. the Lord’s Supper… the Lord’s Table… the breaking of bread and drinking of wine (or grape juice) as a memorial to our Lord’s suffering and death is an extremely solemn and serious ordinance of the church.

I mean, in the Corinthian church, people were getting sick and dying because they weren’t handling the Lord’s Supper in a godly way.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.

1 Corinthians 11:27-30

Take a moment and meditate on what that means. How seriously does God take the Lord’s Supper?

The Lord’s Supper is an ordinance of the gathered church, just like baptism is. You wouldn’t (I hope) baptize people at your Tupperware party or even your weekly women’s Bible study, and you shouldn’t be observing the Lord’s Supper in those sorts of venues either.

Look at the language in 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 and how it differentiates between eating outside the church gathering (at home) and partaking of the Lord’s Supper inside the worship gathering of the church. The language assumes that the Lord’s Supper takes place in the church gathering: “When you come together…” (17, 20), “When you come together as a church…” (18), “Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God…” (22), “when you come together to eat” (33), “if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together…” (34).

When you unbiblically remove the Lord’s Supper from the worship gathering of the church body, you immediately cheapen it. It becomes lesser. Just some little thing we do so we can feel like we’re being holy, or because we crave ritual. It’s reduced to the level of hors d’oeuvres or a party game. The purpose of the Lord’s Supper is for the gathered church to proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes (26).

And because it is an ordinance of the church, those who shepherd the church – pastors and elders – are responsible for administering it in a biblical way. That responsibility has not been given to any Tom, Dick, and Harry (or Dawn, Pat, and Mary, if you will) who decides he or she wants to offer it at a private shindig. It is a pastoral responsibility, which includes fencing the table.

So the answer to all of your questions is no. The Lord’s Supper should not be observed at parachurch meetings or social gatherings at all. (Or weddings. You didn’t ask about that, but I’m going to throw that in there, too, for the same reasons.) And the only reason I can think of that a church would have women administering the Lord’s Supper during a worship service instead of the pastor, elders, and/or deacons is either to appear egalitarian or because they are egalitarian, so that’s a “no” too.

Anticipating the questions I’m sure will be asked, and adding questions that continue to come in from readers…

What about situations like COVID, when the church can’t gather? Is “online communion” (taking the Lord’s Supper at home with whatever elements I have on hand while watching the pastor “administer” it online) OK?

No. First of all, as we learned from COVID, while there may be very temporary emergencies, the church can gather if it is being obedient to the Lord. Sometimes obedience is costly, but it can be done. Just ask our Savior, whose obedience cost Him torture and death.

Second, there’s no requirement for how often the church must observe the Lord’s Supper. Jesus said “as often as you do this,” not “every week” or “twice a month”. Once the temporary emergency is over the church can come back together and observe the Lord’s Supper as a body, in person, as indicated by Scripture.

“What about homebound, hospitalized, or dying people who are Providentially hindered from gathering with the church? Can a pastor administer the Lord’s Supper to those people outside the church gathering?”

I would leave that to a pastor’s discretion, but, if I were a pastor, I would be very reluctant to do so. Personally, I would urge those people, as well as anyone else who wants to observe the Lord’s Supper outside of the gathering of the church body to consider why they want to do that. I mean, dig deep and do some serious introspection about your reasons and what you actually believe about the Lord’s Supper.

I suspect some Christians, without even realizing it, may hold some Roman Catholic-adjacent or superstitious beliefs about the Lord’s Supper.

It’s not the thing you do right before you die (or any time) to make you right with God, forgive your sins, or secure your place in Heaven. That’s what Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection were for. And if you’re placing your faith for any of those things in partaking of the Lord’s Supper instead of, or in addition to Christ’s finished work on the cross, that’s idolatry.

It’s not something you do to assuage misplaced guilt about not being physically able to attend church (or, for that matter, to assuage appropriate guilt about forsaking the assembly when you actually could be there). If you are legitimately Providentially hindered from faithful church attendance, God knows that. He’s the One who allowed or placed you in that situation in the first place. You don’t need to “make it up to Him” or try to get “back” into His good graces by performing for Him by partaking of the Lord’s Supper. Rest. Rest in His grace, mercy, and divine Providence. You can partake when you’re able to go back to church, or when the whole church is one day gathered for the marriage supper of the Lamb.

It’s not something you do to somehow conjure up or invoke God’s presence into your midst. That’s a variant of necromancy or witchcraft. God is omnipresent. There’s not a millimeter of the universe in which He is not present. He’s at your social gathering. He’s at your parachurch meeting. What you want to do at those events is to pray, not observe the Lord’s Supper. In prayer, you recognize God’s presence, submit yourselves and your gathering to Him, and ask Him to guide your meeting. And, no, observing the Lord’s Supper isn’t “leveling up” on “just prayer”. Prayer and the Lord’s Supper are two different worship practices with two different purposes.

And, finally, the Lord’s Supper isn’t something you do to secure God’s blessing on whatever activity or venue you’re observing it in. It’s not a talisman. It’s not like rubbing a rabbit’s foot for luck or a baseball player going through his superstitious pre-game rituals so he’ll play well and win the game. Participating in the Lord’s Supper with your church family is a blessing – it’s the blessing of unity in Christ and the fellowship of proclaiming His death together until He comes, but you don’t do it to get God’s blessing on your marriage, your dinner party, or your pro-life meeting.

What would you say to a church not using unleavened bread for communion? The last time we took communion the bread was Italian bread, obviously had yeast in it. I don’t want to take the Lords supper with bread with yeast in it because yeast represents sin and Jesus has no sin in Him, and if we are to remember what He did, how can we use just regular bread. I did ask the pastor, he thought I had a good point, but I haven’t heard from him yet.

It’s great that you asked your pastor about this. That’s exactly what I would have advised you to do. I would encourage you to submit to his leadership on this issue.

Leavened bread is not a reason to abstain from the Lord’s Supper any more than grape juice instead of wine (or vice versa) is a reason to abstain. My personal opinion (not biblical mandate) is that unleavened bread and wine should be used because they are more historically accurate and truer to the details of Scripture than leavened bread and/or grape juice. That being said, I’ve never been a member of a church that didn’t use grape juice, and I have participated in observances of the Lord’s Supper that used leavened bread, and it didn’t bother me in the least.

We need to remember that the reason unleavened bread was used was not because leaven represented sin, although we do see that symbolism later, but because the Lord’s Supper began as the Last Supper, which was an observance of Passover. Unleavened bread was used for Passover because it memorialized the Israelites’ flight from Egypt. They did not have time for the dough to rise before the exodus. That’s where the unleavened bread for Passover, the Last Supper, and the Lord’s Supper came from. It had nothing to do with Jesus’ sinlessness because Jesus had not yet come at the time of the exodus.

We can also remember that Jesus used leavened bread when He fed the 5000, and in that very context of leavened bread, He Himself said, “I am the bread of life.” If leaven always represents sin, why would Jesus, who was sinless God, have referred to Himself in the context of everyday leavened bread?

If leavened bread is the only reason you’re abstaining from the Lord’s Supper, I would encourage you to stop abstaining and partake joyfully with your church family, proclaiming the Lord’s death until He comes.

We run into trouble when we start trying to “improve” on God’s Word and His ways. The Lord’s Supper is an ordinance of the church, to be observed in the gathering of the church body, and to be rightly administered by the pastor, elders, and/or deacons. Let’s leave it at that – nothing more, nothing less – right where Scripture leaves it.

Additional Resources

The Lord’s Supper Is Not an Afternoon Snack by Josh Buice

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Special Events, Uncategorized

6 Reasons You Should Attend the Next G3 Women’s Expository Teaching Workshop

Michelle Lesley
photo courtesy of G3 ministries

I recently had the great pleasure of participating in the inaugural G3 Women’s Expository Teaching Workshop. I had a wonderful time and learned so much! Here are six reasons I would encourage you to make sure you’re signed up for the next one!

1.
G3 has a biblical perspective on women teaching.

There are two unbiblical extremes when it comes to women teaching. On the left: egalitarianism. Women can pastor, preach, exercise authority over men – anything goes. On the right: hyper-patriarchy. Women can teach other women practical homemaking and childrearing skills, but that’s it. Any biblical teaching or learning has to come from your father, husband, or pastor.

G3’s perspective is right in the biblical middle of those two unbiblical extremes: No, women can’t preach, pastor, instruct men in the Scriptures, or exercise authority over men in the gathering of the church body, but we can and should pour the gospel, and Scripture as a whole, into our children, and the women and children of our churches. And it’s important that we be properly equipped to do that. If you’re gifted to teach and want to hone your skills, or even if you just want to learn to study the Bible more accurately, G3 will equip you from a biblical perspective.

2.
You’ll learn to handle Scripture
in a serious, scholarly way.

Look out across the vast wasteland of the women’s “Bible” study industry, and what do you see? “Bible” studies that encourage you to focus on your feelings. Narcissistic navel-gazing. A plethora of personal anecdotes from the author. And what little Scripture is included is mishandled, misunderstood, and misapplied.

But a G3 expository teaching workshop for women will help you to become “a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). You’ll learn about immediate, historical, and biblical context, the structure of the passage and how to outline it, how to find the central proposition of the passage, and so much more. It will equip you to bless your children and the women and children of your church with rich Bible teaching instead of fluff and false doctrine.

photo courtesy of G3 Ministries

3.
You’ll learn from the outstanding men of G3

They’re all pastors with years of experience in rightly preaching and teaching God’s Word, so you’ll get to learn from the best. Our main teachers were Josh Buice and Tom Buck. They taught us thoroughly without expecting us to be seminary-trained or talking down to us as though we knew nothing of the Bible. We gained a great deal from their instruction about studying and teaching.

  • Virgil Walker
  • Tom Buck
  • Josh Buice
  • Scott Aniol
    photo courtesy of G3 Ministries
  • Laramie Minga

Thank you so much to G3 and Three Sixteen Publishing for
providing each participant with a new Legacy Standard Bible!

4.
Small groups

Before arriving at the workshop, each participant studies and prepares teaching notes on a passage(s) of Scripture. In your small group of about 6-8 women, you’ll work together to correct and fine tune your outline and notes. The women leading the small groups have been trained by the men leading the workshop, so they’re “well versed,” so to speak, in the passages at hand, and the small groups work uniformly with the lecture sessions. The small groups are a wonderful time of encouragement.

5.
Fellowship

What could be a greater joy than to make new friends from all over the country, and to be reunited with old friends you don’t get to see often enough? The fellowship at the workshop was practically non-stop. From communing over the Word together in our small groups, to relationship-building over meals, to after hours fun and frolic, it was a foretaste of the “together forever-ness” we’ll have around the Throne for all eternity.

AWFS comes to G3. Total fangirl moment!

This is only the second time my A Word Fitly Spoken podcast partner and dear friend, Amy Spreeman, and I have been able to meet in person. It was such a treat to spend the weekend with her! Many thanks to my former pastor, Laramie Minga, now Director of Media and Managing Editor for G3, for giving us a tour of G3, including the podcast recording studio!

6.
I guess you had to be there.

Probably the most common question asked about the G3 expository teaching workshop for women is, “Will it be recorded?”. No. And that’s a good thing! There are some things you just can’t experience through a screen – you have to get out there and do them! You could listen to the lectures on a recording, but that was only a small part of the weekend. You couldn’t participate in the Q&A after the lectures on a recording. You couldn’t work collaboratively with your small group on a recording. And you certainly couldn’t enjoy and be encouraged by the fellowship with the other ladies on a recording. This is one of those things – like riding a bike or visiting the Grand Canyon – where you just have to be there.

photo courtesy of G3 Ministries

The G3 expository teaching workshop for women was incredibly helpful. Encouraging. Edifying. Sharpening. A warm time of fellowship around God’s Word with other women just like you and me who want to get better at teaching the Bible. I cannot recommend it highly enough to you. If you can make the sacrifice to be at the next one, make it.

To be alerted to the details for the next workshop, be sure to sign up for the G3 email list, get the G3 app, and follow G3 on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

A word to the wise – when you see registration open up for the next workshop, register immediately. The first workshop sold out in 48 hours.

I hope to see you at a G3 event in the future!

No one asked me to write this article, and I didn’t get any sort of discounts or perks for writing it. You know me – when I find a fantastic, doctrinally sound resource, I recommend it to you, and the G3 expository teaching workshop for women is one of those resources!

Forgiveness, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Can unforgiveness cause you to you lose your salvation?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 19, 2019

Can unforgiveness cause me to lose my salvation?

Forgiving (or refusing to forgive) others as it relates to our salvation is such an important issue. I’m so glad you asked!

Let’s break this question down a bit.

Can you lose your salvation?

The first thing we need to tackle is whether or not someone whom Christ has genuinely saved can lose her salvation – for unforgiveness or any other reason. And the answer to that question is no.

Why? The short answer is that if God saves someone, and that person can subsequently “unsave” herself, that makes her more powerful than God, which, as we know, can’t happen. You can’t save yourself, and you can’t unsave yourself. Salvation is all of God.

You can’t save yourself, and you can’t unsave yourself. Salvation is all of God.

When God saves you, you are His new creation in Christ. You can’t “uncreate” your new spiritual life any more than you can “uncreate” your body, or a tree, or a planet. You can kill or do damage to those things, but you cannot reverse God’s creative process. To use another example, oh so relevant to today, God created you female. You can mutilate your body til kingdom come trying to appear male, but that will not change the fact that at your genetic level – the very essence of your being – you are female. And you can’t undo that because God created you that way, and you’re not more powerful than God. If you can’t even change God’s creation of your physical body, how in the world can you change God’s creation of your spiritual being?

The moment God saves you, He forgives all your sins, past, present, and future, and robes you in the righteousness of Christ.

In addition to the fact that you can’t uncreate the new creature God has created you to be, you need to remember that the moment God saves you, He forgives all your sins, past, present, and future, and robes you in the righteousness of Christ. That swear word you’re going to say next week? Already forgiven. That lie you’re going to tell five years from now? Already forgiven. And if you decide to commit the sin of refusing to forgive someone, that sin has already been forgiven too. (So since all our sins are already forgiven, we can just commit as much sin as we want and we don’t have to worry about it, right? Wrong.) We still need to confess those sins to God and be cleansed from them because they disrupt our fellowship with God, but in His accounting office, that sin debt has already been marked “paid in full”.

Furthermore, Jesus tells us plainly that if He’s got you, He’s got you:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

No one. That includes you and your sin. The power of your sin is not greater than God’s power to forgive that sin.

The power of your sin is not greater than God’s power to forgive that sin.

They will never perish. To say that a person about which Jesus Himself has said, “I give them eternal life,” can lose her salvation is to call Jesus a liar. He says that person “will never perish.” End of story.

Still not convinced that someone whom Christ has genuinely saved can’t lose her salvation? Try these passages on for size.

Now the reason it can look to us like someone can lose her salvation comes from two places: experience and misunderstanding the Bible.

The reason it can look to us like someone can lose her salvation comes from two places: experience and misunderstanding the Bible.

Experience:
It’s happened plenty of times in the past, but in the last few weeks, we’ve seen two high profile evangelicals “walk away from the faith,”: Joshua Harris and Marty Sampson. Maybe you know someone personally – a friend, a loved one, even a pastor – who gave every appearance of being a Christian and then suddenly left Christianity, and the church, behind.

How does this compute when the Bible teaches that genuinely born again Christians cannot lose their salvation? Well, we need to remember something else the Bible teaches that’s very important:

Not everyone who claims to be a Christian actually is one.

Some people consciously know they’re not really saved and are just trying to pull the wool over the eyes of others. But many (my guess is “most” – these days there’s not a lot of social cachet in calling yourself a Christian) are deceived into believing they’re saved. Maybe they heard some sort of unbiblical gospel presentation and have put their faith in a decision they made in response. Maybe they just assume they’re saved because they’re good church-going people and their church doesn’t teach them otherwise. Who knows? It could be a lot of things. But we know for sure that there are many people who call themselves Christians and believe they are Christians who aren’t. Why? Because the Bible says so:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Matthew 7:21-23

“Many will say”…False converts are common, not few and far between. And it’s not just your average Joe or Jane in the pew, either. People who “prophesy…cast out demons…do mighty works” under the auspices of Christianity? They’re pastors, elders, deacons, Bible study teachers, seminary professors, “Christian” authors, evangelical celebrities. And Christ does not know them, because they don’t know Him. They talk the talk, and might even look like they walk the walk, but they’ve never truly believed the biblical gospel, repented of their sin, and trusted the Jesus of Scripture to save them. First John 2:18-19 puts it this way:

Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us.

People whom Jesus has genuinely saved may fall into sin for a season, but they do not fall away from the faith. Those who leave the faith were never part of it in the first place, despite appearances or their claims to the contrary. It might be difficult, but this is one of those occasions when we have to believe what Scripture says over what we can see.

Those who leave the faith were never part of it in the first place, despite appearances or their claims to the contrary.

Jesus also tells us in the parable of the sower that there will be be “rocky ground” folks who will appear to be Christians, but because they have no root, they “endure for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away.” Jesus follows up this parable with the parable of the wheat and tares which further drives home His point that there will be impostors in the visible church.

So even though we observe people who appear to be Christians “falling away from the faith,” through unforgiveness or any other sin, we know that what’s really happening is that a lost person got tired of pretending to be saved and went back to being a lost person. Second Peter 2:22 puts it this way:

What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”

If Christ has never fundamentally changed your spiritual nature from dog or pig into a new creature in Christ, you’re still a dog or a pig. And even if you manage to clean up on the outside you’ll eventually return to the vomit of being a dog and the mud of being a pig because that’s your nature.

Misunderstood Scripture
There are passages in the Bible that, when misunderstood, when taken out of their immediate context, or when taken out of the overall context of Scripture can seem to teach that a person can lose her salvation. But as we’ve seen, there are way too many rightly handled, in context passages of Scripture that refute that idea.

Can you lose your salvation by refusing to forgive someone?

You mentioned in your original question that you believe unforgiveness can cause someone to lose her salvation because, “It is so clear in so many ways in Scripture, even parables that Jesus told.” But, you did not mention any of the Scriptures you think teach this. My guess is that one of the Scriptures you’re thinking of is Matthew 6:14-15:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

In context, we can see that these two verses come at the end of the Lord’s Prayer. In verse 12, Jesus has just taught us to pray that God would “forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors,” and He’s giving us a little addendum on this in 14-15.

Remember, even though all our sins from birth to death were forgiven at the moment of our salvation, we still need to confess our sins in prayer and ask God to cleanse us from our wrongdoing to bring us back into right fellowship with Him. But if you’re willfully in the middle of committing the sin of unforgiveness against someone, you’re still actively sinning. You haven’t turned from that sin in order to be cleansed. You’re essentially rolling around in the mud and asking God to cleanse you while you have no intention of getting out of the mud. How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t make any sense. If you want to get cleaned up (“forgiven”), you have to get out of the mud (stop committing the sin of unforgiveness – “forgive”). Otherwise, you’re asking God to restore the fellowship you’re still actively damaging with your sin.

Another passage you might be thinking of is the parable of the unforgiving servant. The takeaway from this passage is not that God will rescind the salvation of Christians who commit the sin of unforgiveness. This passage doesn’t say that and we already know that idea conflicts with what Scripture teaches about the security of the Believer.

The takeaway from this passage is that God has forgiven us a sin debt that is incomprehensible. Knowing and having experienced that forgiveness, how could we not forgive some paltry little sin another human commits against us? First John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us,” and the way He loved us was to forgive us our sin. So we also forgive because He first forgave us. And if we can giddily and unrepentantly harbor unforgiveness in our hearts against someone else, we’d better start testing ourselves against Scripture to see if we’re really in the faith. Because that kind of unforgiveness is not the fruit of a redeemed life, it’s the fruit of someone who’s unsaved.

No, a genuinely regenerated Christian cannot lose her salvation by committing the sin of unforgiveness. But if she is genuinely regenerated, she will repent of that sin and forgive.

A genuinely regenerated Christian cannot lose her salvation by committing the sin of unforgiveness. But if she *is* genuinely regenerated, she will repent of that sin and forgive.

Additional Resources:

Walking Away from Faith? at A Word Fitly Spoken Podcast

The Mailbag: Must I reconcile with my abusive ex-husband?

Forgiving Like Kings and Servants

You Can’t Love Jesus with a Heart Full of Hate: 7 Reasons to Love and Forgive Your Enemies

Am I Really Saved? A 1 John Check Up

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.