Tag: Church

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Should churches use praise teams?

Michelle Lesley

 

I question the use of praise teams. I have noticed the singers chosen are always very attractive as well as being very talented. I also notice they seem to be performers instead of leaders of worship. It seems the majority of churches that use praise teams are in the process of transitioning into the emergent church movement. I would appreciate your thoughts.

Okie dokie, let’s start off with some definitions and caveats. In the interest of full disclosure, my husband is a minister of music. We have usually served at smaller traditional churches (100-120ish in attendance on Sundays), some with only choirs, some with only praise teams, and some with both. I have always sung in those choirs and praise teams.

If you’re not familiar with praise teams, a praise team is a group of about four to eight singers – usually headed up by a worship leader or minister of music – that stand toward the front of the stage and do what choirs used to do: lead (by example) the congregation in singing. Some churches (usually the more traditional ones) use a choir and praise team. Some (the more contemporary ones, or small traditional churches that can’t support a full choir) use only a praise team. In more contemporary churches, the praise team, worship leader, guitar, drums and other instruments are often lumped together as a single entity – the worship “band”.

When pastors, elders, ministers of music, and others in church leadership are trying to decide what should or should not be included in the worship service, the first place they need to go is the Bible. If the practice in question is either specifically commanded or prohibited by Scripture, it’s quick and easy to make a decision. We do the things required by Scripture (such as baptism and the Lord’s Supper) and we don’t do the things prohibited by Scripture (such as women preaching or the worship of other gods). (If your church isn’t doing the “do’s” or is doing the “don’ts,” it isn’t a church. You need to find a real church – a biblical one – pronto.)

Your pastor and other leaders should also examine their motives for wanting to implement (or do away with) a particular practice. In the case of starting a praise team: Are we doing this because we want to look cool and attractional to the outside world? Is it a wiser stewardship of our music budget to switch to a small praise team instead of a large choir? How will a praise team make our worship service more God-glorifying? Not only should the practice itself line up with Scripture, but the leaders’ motives for implementing the practice should line up with Scripture.

As church members, when we take a look at what’s going on in the worship service at our church, we also need to make the Bible our first stop. First we need to examine whether or not the practice in question is biblical. If the practice in question is biblical (or at least isn’t unbiblical), we need to look at another passage of Scripture:

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Hebrews 13:17

I think a lot of Christians forget this principle of authority in the church. Church isn’t Burger King where you can “have it your way” and you get to gripe all over the place when you don’t like something. If your pastor and other leadership are godly, biblically trustworthy men and they implement something that’s in line with scriptural principles, but rubs your personal tastes and preferences the wrong way, trust them, support them, submit to them, and give it a chance without complaining.

There’s nothing in the Bible that either prohibits or commands praise teams, so if your church leadership implements one, and their reasons line up with Scripture, that’s not ungodly or sinful in and of itself. It’s a decision each individual pastor has to prayerfully make as he seeks to do what is best, wisest, and most godly for his particular church.

That being said, let’s take a look at some of your more specific concerns:

“I have noticed the singers chosen are always very attractive…”
This may be the case in your church or churches you have watched on TV, but I can assure you it’s not the case in every church that uses a praise team. My own church “beta tested” a praise team in our traditional (choir and hymns) service several months ago. Because most of the people who attend that service (including the choir from which the praise team was chosen) are older, the praise team was of the middle aged to senior citizen demographic. I didn’t think any of them were unattractive because they’re my church family and I love them, but they weren’t 18 year old supermodels either. And I’ve seen plenty of other praise teams made up of people who are average looking, older, overweight, disabled, etc.

“…as well as being very talented.”
Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you mean here, but I’m not seeing the problem, either biblically or logically, with people who are talented in a certain area serving the church in that area. If you were going to put together a rotation of people to cook the fellowship meal prior to your midweek service, would you recruit the people in your church who are known to be good cooks or the ones whose casseroles everyone avoids at the monthly potluck? Do you ask people who can’t balance their own checkbooks to serve on the finance committee? If you’re putting together a music team, you want people who are talented and skilled in music, not the ones who are tone deaf, have no rhythm, and can’t read music. There’s biblical precedent for using people with certain talents to serve in certain capacities in God’s house.

“I also notice they seem to be performers instead of leaders of worship.”
I appreciate your use of the phrase “seem to be.” It’s extremely subjective and unfair to make a judgment call on whether a person is “worshiping” or “performing” based solely on his appearance, facial expression, and singing style during his time on the stage. The minister of music needs to be pastoring the praise team (this is why we need to have pastoral ministers of music instead of lay “worship leaders”) toward spiritual maturity in selecting, rehearsing, and ministering to them. He needs to ensure that the people on his team are genuinely regenerated Believers who exemplify humility and the desire to serve Christ and His church, not people who see singing on the praise team as merely a stepping stone to an appearance on The Voice.

“It seems the majority of churches that use praise teams are in the process of transitioning into the emergent church movement.”
That has not been my experience, but I don’t doubt that that’s true for some churches that use praise teams. But praise teams are not the linchpin on which churches turn to apostasy. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of perfectly doctrinally sound churches that use praise teams and have no intention of going emergent. And, there are doctrinally unsound “churches” heading toward becoming emergent that also happen to use praise teams. It’s the doctrine and theology of the church, and its view of and fidelity to Scripture, that causes a church to either strive toward being a biblical church or becoming apostate, not whether or not it uses a praise team.

In summary, there is nothing patently unbiblical about praise teams themselves. The fact that some doctrinally unsound churches use them should no more preclude doctrinally sound churches from using them than doctrinally unsound churches having small groups should preclude doctrinally sound churches from having small groups. Personality, spiritual, and doctrinal issues affecting a praise team should be dealt with biblically in the same way these issues are dealt with in other groups in the church. Whether or not to have a praise team is an issue the pastor of each church must study Scripture and pray about and decide for himself. It’s not something we can biblically make a blanket statement for or against.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Christian women, Church

8 Theses for Women of the Modern Day Reformation

Michelle Lesley

October 31, 2017, marks the 500th anniversary of the beginning of the Protestant Reformation, and because I’m all theme-y and whatnot, I’m in the midst of a fantastic book called Reformation Women by Rebecca VanDoodewaard who I dearly wish were on social media so I could shamelessly fangirl her and make a general nuisance of myself by asking too many questions. Normally, I would actually finish a book before slobberingly commending it to you, but in case you like being all theme-y and whatnot too, and because time is of the essence, I’m throwing caution to the wind and telling you:

Get this book. Now. You’re welcome.

Normally, when we read about the Reformation, we’re reading about great preachers and leaders like Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, and Hus, but preaching was not the only work of the Reformation. And that’s one of the things that has captivated me about Rebecca’s book. All of the women included therein were strikingly courageous, tireless laborers, who contributed greatly  to the success of the Reformation, and they did it all while coloring inside the lines of biblical womanhood – doing vital work godly women are uniquely equipped by Christ to do. They opened their homes as a refuge to scores of Protestants (often including those aforementioned notable preachers and other integral leaders) fleeing for their lives from Catholic marauders. They set up prison ministries and fed and clothed the poor. They nursed their communities through the Plague. Those who were queens and princesses used their power to protect Reformers and change persecutory laws. Those who were married to pastors and leaders helped in their ministries and edited their books and papers. And they wrote. Poetry. Position papers. Booklets. Letters. What a happy discovery (for me, anyway) to find sisters of the quill from so long ago.

All of these women were strikingly courageous, tireless laborers, who contributed greatly  to the success of the Reformation, and they did it all while coloring inside the lines of biblical womanhood.

But these great ladies were not our only foremothers in the faith. For as long as God’s people have been God’s people, God’s people have rebelled and needed to be reformed. In fact, that’s the entire, overarching theme of the Old Testament- the need for Israel to reform from its idolatry. And all along the way we see faithful women like Deborah, Jael, Esther, Jehosheba, Jedidah, Huldah, Samson’s mother, and others willing to buck the trend of sin and rebellion and point the way back to God and holy living by their deeds and the example of their lives.

The New Testament gives us extraordinary examples such as the women who ministered to Jesus during His earthly ministry, stood by Him at the cross, and were the first ones at His tomb. Priscilla, Lydia, Dorcas, Eunice, Lois, Phoebe and other believing women soon followed, all lending their aid in their own unique ways to reforming dead, legalistic Judaism into biblical Christianity.

All of these great women of God, serving Him through thousands of years as only godly women can, laying the foundation with their blood, sweat, and tears, for the church we know today.

But have we “arrived”? Is the need for women to work for reform in the church a fast fading dot in the rear-view mirror of modern day evangelicalism? Judging from the articles I read and the e-mails I receive about the problems in the church, the answer to that question would be a big, fat “no.”

Perhaps armies of the Catholic “church” no longer hunt down fleeing Protestants. And, maybe Nero isn’t using Christians as torches for his garden parties any more (although there are certainly areas of the world where our brothers and sisters in Christ face similar threats every day). But the stealth, guerrilla warfare Satan has been waging against the Western church in recent decades might be even more damaging. Certainly, it’s more diffuse and wider spread. Instead of raping the bride of Christ, Satan has chosen instead to seduce her. Why forge an enemy when you can woo a lover?

Instead of raping the bride of Christ, Satan has chosen instead to seduce her. Why forge an enemy when you can woo a lover?

False teachers. Word of Faith heresy. The New Apostolic Reformation. Abuse in the church. Biblical illiteracy. “Lone Ranger” Christians. Idolatry. Irreverence in the sanctuary.

It is easy to see why the heart of the Protestant Reformation was Semper Reformanda– “always reforming.” The work of fighting for sound doctrine, biblical worship, and pure hearts and hands never, never, never ends.

So what does it look like to be a woman of the modern day Reformation? What can we church ladies do to help turn the tide of apostasy in Christendom? Permit me to nail eight theses to the door of your church.

What does it look like to be a woman of the modern day Reformation? What can we church ladies do to help turn the tide of apostasy in Christendom? Permit me to nail eight theses to the door of your church…

1.
Realize You Can’t Change the World

None of the women named earlier in this article changed the world or the entire church. Not a single one of them. In fact some of them brought about great changes in their locales that were overturned in the years after their deaths.

The problems facing the church today are overwhelming. You’re one person. You can’t fix everything (and God doesn’t expect you to). Maybe you can’t even fix everything in your own church. But what you can do is determine to be faithful to Christ and His Word in your sphere of influence. Bloom where you’re planted. “Brighten the corner where you are“, as the old gospel song says. You can’t do everything, but what’s something you can do?

2.
Color Inside the Lines

One of the major problems plaguing the church today is Christian women who rebel against God’s word by stepping outside the boundaries God has drawn for women in the family and the church. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by following suit in your zeal to reform. There’s plenty of work to be done by godly women – work that we’re better equipped for than men – without violating Scripture.

3.
Mind Your Demeanor

No, we shouldn’t be wishy washy milksops or mealy-mouthed shrinking violets. But we also shouldn’t be loud-mouthed harpies, brashly marching into hell with a water pistol (just trust my own failures on this one). We need to be velvet-covered bricks: soft on the outside, firm on the inside. We should attain to all the Christlike virtues of demeanor: patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, and grace mingled with an unyielding stand on Scripture and an uncompromising commitment to Christ. For some of us, the former comes easier. For some of us, the latter. But we must seek that godly balance as we go about the work of the Kingdom.

4.
Serve the Local Church

If you have rejected the mere idea of local church membership and think you’re going to bring about change from the outside as an unchurched (or functionally unchurched) writer, speaker, or Christian celebrity, you’re part of the problem, not part of the solution. The church is God’s plan for Christianity, not evangelical gurus. Do whatever you have to do to find a doctrinally sound one, join it, and get to work serving.

The church is God’s plan for Christianity, not evangelical gurus.

5.
Pray

When it comes to the church, fixing what’s broken doesn’t rest on your shoulders. Spiritual problems require spiritual solutions, and only God can bring those about. You can defend Scripture til you’re blue in the face or explain all day long why someone is a false teacher, but only God can lift the veil and enlighten the eyes of the heart. Be faithful in your efforts, but be more faithful in prayer. Like the persistent widow, grab hold of the Lord on behalf of the church and don’t let go.

6.
Teach Other Women

In my experience, the number one way false doctrine enters the church is through women’s ministry and women’s “Bible” study. You want to work for reform in the church? Work on reforming your church’s women’s ministry. Explain to your sisters why that divangelista is a false teacher. Request Bible study classes that study the actual Bible. Volunteer to organize the next women’s conference or retreat and schedule doctrinally sound speakers. Teach a women’s or girls’ Sunday School class. Transform the church by transforming the hearts and minds of women.

Transform the church by transforming the hearts and minds of women.

7.
Help

The book of Exodus tells the story of Israel’s battle with Amalek. When Moses held up his arms, Israel prevailed. When he let down his arms, Amalek prevailed. Eventually, Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses and held up his arms for him so that Israel could win the battle. Who was more important to Israel’s victory in this story- Moses or Aaron and Hur? If you answered “both,” you’re correct. Israel couldn’t have won without Moses holding up his hands, but Moses couldn’t have held up his hands without Aaron and Hur. Most of the women of the Old Testament, New Testament, and Protestant Reformation who effected godly change among God’s people were not Moseses. They were Aarons and Hurs. What can you do to hold up the arms of your pastor, your elders, your husband, your church?

8.
Stand

Make sure you know your Bible backwards, forwards, and upside down in context. Know right from wrong, the biblical from the unbiblical. Learn what God’s word says, and stand. Don’t back down. Do it with a godly demeanor, but do it. Refusing to budge from the truth of Scripture might cost you your “church”. It might cost you your family and friends. It might cost you your job, your reputation, and your finances (as we’ve seen in recent years with Christians in the business world who have refused to cave to the homosexual agenda). But as our brothers and sisters who went to the fiery stake, the dank prison cell, and the gallows would tell you, fidelity to God’s Word is worth it. Loyalty to Christ is worth anything it might cost you. Stand.

As our brothers and sisters who went to the fiery stake, the dank prison cell, and the gallows would tell you, fidelity to God’s Word is worth it. Loyalty to Christ is worth anything it might cost you. Stand.

Whether your women’s ministry is using a book by a false teacher, there’s a faction of backbiters in the church that needs to be quelled, or your pastor is overwhelmed and needs some help, there’s something in your church that you can pray about, help with, or work on to help it move toward spiritual health. The church needs discerning, biblically knowledgeable, mature Christian women to step up and fight ungodliness whenever and wherever we’re able. Will you be a courageous laborer in the modern day Reformation?

The church needs discerning, biblically knowledgeable, mature Christian women to step up and fight ungodliness whenever and wherever we’re able. Will you be a courageous laborer in the modern day Reformation?

Church, Encouragement, Ministry, Top 10

Top 10 Ways to Appreciate Your Pastors During Pastor Appreciation Month

Michelle Lesley

I’m so glad somebody thought up the idea of Pastor Appreciation Month and made it a thing. If you’ve never been a pastor (or been married to one), it’s difficult to adequately convey just how simultaneously challenging, joyful, devastating, frustrating, and fulfilling it can be. If you have a good pastor, who rightly divides God’s Word and is a man of godly character, you are very blessed. And that goes for your minister of music, associate pastor, youth pastor, etc., too. Be sure you show all of them (there’s nothing worse than being left out while everybody else is being appreciated) your appreciation for their hard work, and your encouragement, support, and love not just during Pastor Appreciation Month, but all year through. Here are ten ways you can do just that.

1. Pray for your pastors.
Time and again, when pastors are surveyed about what their church members can do to bless them the most, the number one answer is, “Pray for me.” Your pastors need you to pray for them personally, in their work, for their marriages and families, and for the health of your church. Pastor Appreciation Month is a perfect time to make a commitment to pray for your pastors on a regular basis. (And don’t forget to periodically tell them you’re praying for them!) Need some suggestions on how to pray? Check out my article Top 10 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor.

2. Words of encouragement
Pastors get a lot of complaints, criticism, and words of discouragement. Brighten your pastor’s day by telling him something specific you learned during the sermon. Tell your minister of music you really enjoyed the choir anthem this morning. Repeat to your youth pastor something positive your child has said about him or the youth group. Drop your pastor a note, e-mail, or social media message of support. Make a point of looking for ways – all year long – that you can offer “a word fitly spoken.”

3. Babysit
If your pastor and his wife have young children, offer to babysit so they can have a date night or go Christmas shopping for the kids. 

4. Gift cards
Perhaps along with the offer to babysit, you could give your pastor and his wife a gift card to a local restaurant. Gift cards to his favorite specialty store (outdoorsman stores, music stores, etc.), a Christian retailer, or one of his favorite online stores (or a more general site like Amazon if you’re not sure of his preferences) make great tokens of appreciation, too.

5. Honorary offerings
Is there a certain missionary or mission project that’s near and dear to your pastor’s heart? A crisis pregnancy center? A church plant he’d like to support? What about donating Bibles in his honor to an evangelistic organization? Put out the word to the congregation, take up a special offering (or simply give as an individual), and make a donation in your pastor’s name.

6. Make sure his needs are met.
Your pastors shouldn’t be living like televangelists, but they shouldn’t be struggling to survive, either. Surprisingly, many people have unbiblical opinions about pastors’ salaries, from the notion that anyone in any kind of ministry should be doing it for free, to the downright evil concept of keeping the pastor near the poverty level to make sure he stays humble (yes, really). The Bible says pastors have a right to make their living from preaching the gospel, and that a workman is worthy of his hire. Check with your church’s finance and/or personnel committee. Is your pastor making an appropriate salary? Are his housing and insurance needs being met? Is he receiving adequate vacation and sick days? If not, see what you can do to help rectify the situation.

7. Conferences
There are lots of fantabulous Christian conferences out there that your pastor would probably love to attend, but it’s not in the church budget and he can’t afford it, personally. Find out his favorite or choose a great one (make sure you vet the speakers first to make sure they’re doctrinally sound), take up a special offering, and send him there, all expenses paid (conference admission and fees, travel, meals, lodging, and some extra “walking around money” for purchasing books, gifts, souvenirs, etc.).

8. Volunteer
One of the things that can be stressful for pastors is empty positions that need godly people to fill them. Volunteer to teach that Sunday School class, play the piano at the nursing home, help chaperone the youth trip, work in the nursery, get trained and run the sound board. Find out where you’re needed at your church and jump in and serve.

9. Help out around the house.
Pastors have those “fix it” needs around the house just like everybody else does. Are you good at repairing cars, fixing roofs, mowing grass, maintaining air conditioning units, cooking meals, or another special skill? Save your pastor some time, money, and effort by putting your experience to work for him at his home. 

10. Set the example of a healthy church member.
What could be more encouraging to a pastor than biblically healthy church members? Study your Bible. Be faithful in your church attendance. Pray for your pastor and the church. Serve where you’re needed. Don’t complain or criticize your pastor and others over petty matters. Avoid controversies and personality conflicts, and be a peacemaker. Walk in humility and selflessness, and give glory to God. Show appreciation for your pastors by setting a godly example for other church members and encouraging them to do the same. 

💥Bonus!💥 Get on social media, e-mail, or the phone and share this article around so your pastors don’t have to!

What are some other good ways we can show appreciation for,
and encourage, our pastors?

Discernment, Mailbag

The Mailbag: My Discernment Is Distracting Me from Worship

Michelle Lesley

 

Since discovering and learning more in depth about the vast amount of false teaching in the church, I now find myself questioning everything to the point that it has affected my ability to worship. We attend a very small, relatively biblically solid church, but when we sing, for example, a Hillsong song, I’m so focused on the atrocities of Hillsong that I am unable to enjoy the time of worship. How are you, with all your knowledge of current day church apostasy, able to overcome that knowledge and just enjoy all aspects of a church service? We are a body of mature believers, but even our little church isn’t perfect.

This is a dilemma a lot of us face at some point, so thanks for asking. I think the linchpin of your question – and my answer – is your last statement. Your church isn’t perfect. My church isn’t perfect. No church is perfect. It’s unreasonable to expect any church to be perfect, just like it would be unreasonable to expect your spouse or child to be perfect.

I’ve had to muddle through this question myself on more than one occasion at more than one church, and to be perfectly honest, many times I’ve done so with all the grace of an inebriated elephant on roller skates and the forbearance of an annoyed cat (or maybe just “a cat”). I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m what they used to call a “Type A” personality. Very task oriented. Workaholic-prone. High strung. When I see a problem, it’s, “Here’s the solution. Let’s implement it, like, yesterday. Get on board or get left behind. What’s next?”

Guess what I’ve learned? Most people aren’t like that. Or at least most church people aren’t. Or they aren’t like that about the same things I’m like that about. And you know what? That’s actually been good for me. God has used those situations as a tool in my sanctification, to make me more understanding, patient, and compassionate with others, just as I want them to be with me. Of course, He’s still got a long way to go with me!

So, having “been there, done that” here are a few suggestions and things to keep in mind:

✢ There’s such a thing as “cage stage” discernment. It’s when your eyes have recently been opened to false teaching/teachers, you’re drinking from the discernment fire hose, and you don’t understand why everybody isn’t as freaked out and on board as you are. Are you theologically right? Probably. Are you going to win friends and influence people with immersion therapy? Nope. There’s really nothing you can do about this phase of your life except to realize it exists and make a concerted effort to rein yourself in until you’ve mellowed a bit.

✢ Pray. I am convinced that one of the reasons God puts discerning people into churches that need a little (or a lot) sharpening in the area of discernment is for those discerning people to be warring on their knees every day for their churches, their pastors, their teachers. God can do more to straighten out the problems at your church than any human action can, because only God is able to change people’s hearts. You start praying fervently, and I guarantee you, over time, you’ll see God working in your church.

✢ Immerse yourself in the Word. If you know your Bible forwards and backwards, you’re not going to question every word your pastor says, or every page of that book your reading, or every lyric of every song because God’s Word will be “hidden in your heart,” and you’ll know whether what you’re hearing is biblical or not. 

✢ If you’re married, discuss the issue(s) with your husband and make sure you’re submitting to his leadership. Likewise, if you’re a minor child living under your parents’ authority.

✢ Understand the nature of the average church member/pastor/staff at the average, reasonably doctrinally sound church. They’re just like you were before you found out about discernment. They’re not trying to introduce heretical materials into your church. They don’t want to follow false teachers. They simply don’t know any better. It has never occurred to them that something that labels itself “Christian” might not be biblical Christianity, because they’ve never been taught this. Should every Christian know these things and have at least a modicum of discernment? Yes. But we have to deal with things the way they are, not the way they should be.

✢ Meditate on and memorize this passage (and any others that are helpful to you about your situation):

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:24-26

This passage has been extremely helpful to me to remember not only how we do discernment work, but why we do it. We must be patient and compassionate. We’re attempting to rescue people with spiritual Stockholm Syndrome.

✢ Take action wisely, kindly, and patiently. Of all the things that are distressing you discernment-wise at your church, which one is the one that distracts you most or is most urgently in need of being addressed? Devote some serious time to praying about it, praying for all the people involved, and praying that God will make your heart Christlike about it: weeks, at a minimum. Maybe months. God may resolve the situation without you having to do anything about it.

As you’re praying there may be some participation adjustments you might wish to consider. For example, if the problem at your church was that the women’s ministry was constantly using “Bible” study materials authored by false teachers, you might adjust your behavior this way. If you cannot sing the Hillsong songs in good conscience, just stand (or sit) silently and respectfully with the rest of the congregation until the song is over. Due to a series of various circumstances a while back, my church had a female interim music director for several months. I could not, in good conscience, affirm that decision by my participation, so I did not participate in the music portion of the worship service during her tenure. I stood silently and respectfully and used that time to pray for her, my pastor, my church, and our future minister of music.

But if things don’t improve or seem to get worse, someone may need to talk to the person at the center of the problem. This article may be helpful in that eventuality.

✢✢✢✢✢

Discernment can be a difficult gift to grapple with. Stay on your knees, stay in the Word, and Christ will carry you through.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Church

Throwback Thursday ~ You’d Probably Have to be a Southern Baptist to Understand: The Budget Business Meeting Edition

Michelle Lesley

Originally published May 6, 2012
Image

What people like me (if there are any) think about during the budget/finance portion of the church business meeting:

1. Lord, thank you so much for the smart and trustworthy people at my church who understand and handle our budget and finances.

2. I wonder how many pizzas that $30,000 they’re talking about would buy. I’m starving.

3. How many bake sales would we have to hold to keep the lights on if I were in charge of the budget? Mmmmm….cupcakes…I’m STARVING!

4. Uh oh, while I was thinking about bake sales, they called for the vote. Are we voting on the motion, or the amendment to the motion, or to table the motion? Wait, what WAS the motion?

5. Come on, baby, do the locomotion…

6. I wonder if anyone can tell that this budget report would make just as much sense to me if it were written in Chinese.

7. Mmmm…Chinese…

8. I’m going to raise my hand and make a motion that we order in some Chinese food and “table” it. HAHAHAHAHA! That would be so funny! Ok, maybe it would only be funny to me. Everyone else in the room seems to be an adult.

9. WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS?????

10. Why do I understand the motion LESS now that the discussion on it is over than I did when it was first proposed?

11. If you got the notion, I second that emotion…

12. If I volunteered to write a check for whatever it is they’re talking about, could we move on to something more interesting? Like, maybe: would a church member who writes a rather large check to divert a business meeting necessarily be excommunicated if it bounced? Or, how about the ever scintillating topic of ORDERING SOME DOGGONE CHINESE FOOD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?

13. . …motion…potion…ocean…lotion…Goshen (5 extra points for a Bible word!)…notion…ummm…coastal erosion…

14. Interesting. The word “fund” starts with FUN. I’m not feeling any fun happening here. Anyone else? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

15. Bueller…Bueller…rhymes with Muller….George Muller (where’s the dumb umlaut on this keyboard?!?!)…yeah, George Muller, the guy who prayed for everything he needed and God just provided…I wonder how many business meetings HE had to go to….

16. I should start making notes for the blog post I’m going to write about this when I get home. Why didn’t I think about that two hours ago!?!?

17. Are we STILL talking about this???

18. I wonder if it’s too soon to make a motion to adjourn. I wonder if someone else will do it soon. I wonder if I’m going to have to do it. I wonder if I’m the only one wondering this.

19. If ONE MORE PERSON makes a motion from the floor, I’m going to give myself a fatal paper cut with this ream of reports and spreadsheets they gave me when I walked in.

20. Lord, thank you so much for the smart and trustworthy people at my church who understand and handle our budget and finances.

 

“I move we adjourn.”

 

SECOND!