If you are considering commenting or sending me an e-mail objecting to the fact that I warn against certain teachers, please click here and read this article first. Your objection is most likely answered here. I won’t be publishing comments or answering emails that are answered by this article.
This article is kept continuously updated as needed.
This article is what I call a “clearinghouse article”. It is a collection of articles written by others on the teacher, ministry, or unbiblical trend named below. Either I have not had the time to write a full blown article on it myself, or I felt that the articles listed did a fine job of explaining the biblical issues and there was no need to reinvent the wheel.
Disclaimer: I did not write most of the articles below, and I am not thoroughly familiar with all of the websites used in my clearinghouse articles. I do not endorse anything on these sites that deviates from Scripture or conflicts with my beliefs as outlined in the “Welcome” or “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.
Here are the biblical criteria I use when deciding whether or not to recommend a teacher, ministry, etc.:
Generally speaking, in order for me to recommend a teacher, speaker, author, or ministry, he/she/it has to meet three criteria:
a) A female teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly preach to or teach men in violation of 1 Timothy 2:12. A male teacher or pastor cannot allow women to carry out this violation of Scripture in his ministry. The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be living in any other sin (for example, cohabiting with her boyfriend or living as a homosexual).
b) The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be partnering with or frequently appearing with false teachers. This is a violation of Scripture.
c) The pastor, teacher, or ministry cannot currently and unrepentantly be teaching false doctrine.
I recommend against any teacher or ministry who violates one or more of these biblical tenets.
If you’d like to check out some pastors and teachers I heartily recommend, click the Recommended Bible Teachers tab at the top of this page.
The Enneagram Not Recommended
Primary issues with the Enneagram: Occultic/mystical origins, false doctrine, undermines the sufficiency of Scripture by teaching adherents to rely on its analysis of their personality rather than the Bible’s assessment of their character and standing in Christ
If you are considering commenting or sending me an e-mail objecting to the fact that I warn against certain teachers, please click here and read this article first. Your objection is most likely answered here. I won’t be publishing comments or answering emails that are answered by this article.
This article is kept continuously updated as needed.
This article is what I call a “clearinghouse article”. It is a collection of articles written by others on the teacher, ministry, or unbiblical trend named below. Either I have not had the time to write a full blown article on it myself, or I felt that the articles listed did a fine job of explaining the biblical issues and there was no need to reinvent the wheel.
Disclaimer: I did not write the articles below, and I am not thoroughly familiar with all of the websites used in my clearinghouse articles. I do not endorse anything on these sites that deviates from Scripture or conflicts with my beliefs as outlined in the “Welcome” or “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.
Here are the biblical criteria I use when deciding whether or not to recommend a teacher, ministry, etc.:
Generally speaking, in order for me to recommend a teacher, speaker, author, or ministry, he/she/it has to meet three criteria:
a) A female teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly preach to or teach men in violation of 1 Timothy 2:12. A male teacher or pastor cannot allow women to carry out this violation of Scripture in his ministry. The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be living in any other sin (for example, cohabiting with her boyfriend or living as a homosexual).
b) The pastor or teacher cannot currently and unrepentantly be partnering with or frequently appearing with false teachers. This is a violation of Scripture.
c) The pastor, teacher, or ministry cannot currently and unrepentantly be teaching false doctrine.
I recommend against any teacher or ministry who violates one or more of these biblical tenets.
If you’d like to check out some pastors and teachers I heartily recommend, click the Recommended Bible Teachers tab at the top of this page.
The Alpha Course Not Recommended
Primary issues with The Alpha Course: False doctrine, undermines the sufficiency of Scripture
I desire to return to church and miss fellowshipping with other believers in person, but with the recent increase of virus cases in my area, I’m anxious about assembling even when wearing a mask and social distancing. The church I attend is currently offering services online and recently reopened. While they highly recommend wearing a mask during service, they will not force attendees to wear one. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
This is a great question as churches begin re-opening for on campus worship again. But, unfortunately, it’s not a question I can give a simplistic “go” or “don’t go” answer to. Everybody’s situation is different, everybody’s church is different, everybody’s health risks are different. This is a decision you will need to make prayerfully with your family, using biblical wisdom. If you’re not quite sure how to get started on that, I would suggest kicking things off by reading my article on making godly decisions: Basic Training: 8 Steps to Finding God’s Will for Your Life.
Here are some things to take into consideration as you make your decision:
What’s your potential risk? Contact your doctor to find out his opinion on whether or not attending church under these circumstances would genuinely put your health at risk. If you have a husband, children, or others who live in your home, find out from their doctors whether or not they are at risk either by attending themselves or by being around you if you attend without them. I want to stress contacting your doctor. Don’t try to figure it out yourself by reading things on the internet or chatting with friends. There is so much conflicting information, rumors, and unwise conventional wisdom running rampant out there that it’s impossible to sort it all out. Your doctor knows your body and your health history. Ask him.
What does your husband say? If you’re married, you and your husband should talk through and pray through this issue. Remember, you have a biblical obligation to submit to your husband’s final decision.
The fear factor: You’ll need to biblically evaluate the fearfulness of your heart about contracting the disease. Is it a mild, sensible concern that you harness for the glory of God to help you act wisely, or is it an all-consuming panic that prevents you from trusting God in order to do the things He has commanded you to do? If you lean toward the latter, you may have crossed the line into sinful fear, worry, and refusing to trust God. Understand that here we are setting aside for a moment the action of going/not going to church, and instead focusing on examining the motivation of your heart. Here are some passages of Scripture to meditate on and apply:
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:6-7
You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:9b-10
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7
Think back over the entirety of the Bible. Can you think of any instance in which God commends someone for being fearful instead of trusting Him?
Slouching toward laziness: I bring up laziness because this is a pull of the flesh that I’ve been feeling lately, so I figure at least a few others might be feeling it too. I am not a morning person. I am about as far from a morning person as you can get. And every Sunday of my life for the past 51 years, I’ve been dragging myself out of bed early on Sunday mornings to get ready for church, get the kids ready for church, get to the church, and behave in a godly manner once I get there. Of course, once I get there, I’m always glad to be in the Lord’s house worshiping with my brothers and sisters, but the part between waking up and being there? Not fun. So I’ll be honest, for the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed getting to sleep late on Sundays and ease into the day instead of being slammed with all of the getting ready to go hassle at the crack of dawn every Lord’s Day. And even though my family will be going back to church soon, I still feel that “I don’t wanna” pull of my flesh.
Is it possible there’s a little dash of laziness in the mix (for you or maybe another reader) when it comes to going back to church? I know that’s an issue for me, but I can’t answer that for you. You will need to prayerfully evaluate your heart against Scripture as you think all of this through. Here are a few verses to consider:
A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24:33-34 (This verse is talking about the literal poverty that comes from being lazy instead of working, but, in principle, it can also apply to the spiritual poverty and want that will result from sleeping in and skipping church.)
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. Proverbs 13:4
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17
Are you forsaking the assembly? Throughout the entirety of the Bible, God’s people are a people who assemble together. It’s assumed. A given. There’s no such animal as Christians who don’t physically assemble, face to face, real time, together. But just in case we miss that assumption, God graciously tells us flat out:
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25
Now, as I’ve mentioned before, that verse doesn’t mean we have to be at the church every time the doors are open for every meeting, class, fellowship, or activity in order to be obedient to God’s command to be faithful to the church. Nor does it mean we can treat church attendance as optional, going only when we feel like it, or when there’s nothing “more important” scheduled in that time slot. Nor does it mean that watching an online service equals physically showing up and participating in worship, teaching, service, prayer, the ordinances, etc. (That’s not going to church. That’s watching other people go to church.) It means we’re to be faithful to our church attendance unless Providentially hindered.
Are you truly Providentially hindered from attending church? I don’t know. That’s something you’re going to have to get into your prayer closet and be brutally honest with yourself and with God about. Are you wisely staying home from church temporarily because your doctor says you’re at high risk for contracting the virus under your church’s protocols, or are you actually forsaking the assembly and making excuses because you’re unbiblically fearful or lazy or disobedient? That is something each of us will have to discern in our own hearts and give an account to God for.
Follow the leader: Our culture indoctrinates us into rugged individualism and independence so much that we often don’t even realize it when we make decisions and adopt stances without even taking our pastors’ and elders’ leadership into consideration. I know I’ve been guilty of that many times. But here’s what the Bible says:
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things. I urge you the more earnestly to do this in order that I may be restored to you the sooner. Hebrews 13:17-19
Unless our pastors/elders are leading us contrary to Scripture, or we are somehow Providentially hindered from following their guidance, Scripture says we’re to graciously follow their leadership. If your pastor/elders have determined, after weighing spiritual and health concerns, that it’s most in line with Scripture to start meeting again with the protocols you’ve described, at least let their shepherding play a significant role in your decision-making process. That’s not nothing. It’s part of the way the Holy Spirit leads us. Let’s not call out to Him for wisdom and guidance and then ignore or oppose one of His methods for doing just that.
If you need some help understanding or accepting the decisions your pastor has made, call him, set up an appointment with him, or video chat with him, and listen to what he has to say – not with the goal of arguing your position against his, but with the goal of understanding and doing whatever you can to follow his leadership.
And just as the author of Hebrews urged the church – pray for your pastor and elders. They’re doing their best, in good conscience, to lead you in a godly, biblical, honorable way, and we all want to be restored to meeting together again as soon as that becomes possible.
Trust God’s sovereignty and care. Is God powerful enough to keep you from getting the virus? Might He allow you to contract the virus in order to glorify Himself and grow you spiritually in the process? If so, does He have the power to heal you? If you contract the virus and die from it, is that because God couldn’t stop you from dying?
We desperately need to remember that God is in complete control of every atom of this universe. If it is not within His will for you to contract the virus, you won’t. If it is within His will for you to contract the virus, all the masks, social distancing, handwashing, and quarantines in the world won’t prevent you from catching it. Does that mean we throw caution to the wind, asking infected people to sneeze on us, or jumping off buildings, or walking in front of speeding trains, or handling snakes? Of course not, because acting like an idiot doesn’t glorify God, and putting Him to the test is a sin.
What it means is that we strive to walk wisely and obediently to Him, trusting Him all along the way with the outcome. Getting the Coronavirus, even dying from the Coronavirus isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a Christian. The worst thing that can transpire in the life of a Christian is sin. Failure to trust God. Giving something lesser than God the authority and control over your life.
Do we really trust that God is in control? And if we don’t, why would we trouble ourselves about going to church and worshiping a god so impotent that he can’t protect us from getting the virus, or heal us from the virus, or take us home to Heaven if we die of the virus?
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
Is my hand shortened, that it cannot redeem? Or have I no power to deliver? Isaiah 50:2b
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!
In these potpourri editions of The Mailbag, I’d also like to address the three questions I’m most commonly asked:
“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”
My daughter who is not yet saved wants to do a Christian book study with a friend. I am just thrilled that she even has that desire. She is thinking about doing one of Lysa TerKeurst’s books who I know not to have solid theology (among other problems with her). Could you suggest someone who would be a good option?
I’m so glad your daughter seems to be gravitating toward wanting to read something biblical. If it were one of my children, I would be excited too. Thank you for protecting her from false doctrine.
But to answer your question, no. I’m afraid I can’t. I don’t recommend what I call “canned” Bible study books, DVDs, etc., on principle, even (maybe especially) for unsaved people. You can read more at the articles linked under “Can you recommend a good women’s Bible study?” above, but here’s the gist of my reasoning:
• Modern evangelicalism and Christian retailing has conditioned most Christians to believe that if they’re going to study the Bible, they have to use a pre-fab, packaged study instead of simply studying straight from the text of Scripture. There are a lot of super, doctrinally sound Christians who have no problem recommending these kinds of (solid) studies, and that’s great, but if I have to be the lone voice crying in the wilderness that we need to stop being dependent on Bible study books, I’m going to be that gal. And if I’m going to put my money where my mouth is, I can’t, in good conscience, recommend study books.
• The overwhelming majority of “canned” Bible studies, especially the ones written for women, contain false doctrine. Trying to find a “good” one is like trying to find three grains of salt in a bowl full of sugar. It’s much more efficient to recommend something we all know is completely trustworthy and inerrant – the Bible itself.
• God’s Word is sufficient for our every need. For thousands of years, people have gotten saved and sanctified simply by reading Scripture, and we need to get back to that.
• Most Christians (including me) who have done both book studies and studying straight from Scripture will tell you that studying straight from Scripture is far more rewarding. It creates a greater intimacy with God, the Holy Spirit illumines and applies Scripture to your life in the way you need it, and you learn so much more. It’s like the difference between watching someone else search for buried treasure, and searching for it, and finding it, yourself.
So here are a few options I’d recommend for your daughter instead of someone else’s book:
Look through some of the studies I’ve written at the Bible Studiestab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page to see if any of them would be of interest to her. My studies are designed to teach women how to study the Bible for themselves, so that once they get the hang of it, they won’t have to depend on anyone else’s materials any more, even mine.
At that same tab is a list of Bible reading plans. Your daughter probably isn’t ready for a “read through the Bible in a year” plan, but there are several links to much shorter plans – some as short as 1-3 weeks – that will take her through a topic or a book of the Bible.
Order her a gospel of John from Pocket Testament League, and encourage her to read about a chapter a day (or whatever she’s comfortable with). PTL actually uses the book of John as an evangelism tool. They have all sorts of unique designs and translations (I would recommend ESV), and a small, groovy looking little “booklet” might be less intimidating to her than the whole Bible. You can read more here.
Love your blog! I have read your list on ministries or preachers you write on and don’t recommend. I highly admire this. I would like to find ones that I could watch that you do recommend. Do you have a list of men preachers that would fall under this category with a thumbs up? Also any women’s Bible studies I could follow online as well.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad you’re finding the blog helpful.
If you’ve read the Popular False Teachers and Unbiblical Trends tab, you were soooooo close to finding what you were looking for! :0) Right next to that tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) is a tab entitled Recommended Bible Teachers. You’ll find lots of great pastors and teachers there.
As I mentioned above, I highly recommend you study straight from the Bible itself. If you need a little help getting started, the (online) studies I’ve written will teach you how to do that. You can find them at the Bible Studiestab (also in the blue menu bar at the top of this page). Our current study is Ezekiel.
I’m recently saved, and I feel compelled to share the Gospel with a co-worker but I hesitate because of my past reputation at work. I worry that I will have no credibility. Yes, they’ve all seen the change in me but they’re waiting for it to ‘wear off’. Should I wait until I’m farther removed from my sin to share the gospel with him? Wait until they’re all satisfied that I’ve changed and am not going back to my old ways? Wait for someone else to step up and share with him? He has weighed heavily on my mind as of late and I want him to have the same living hope that I have experienced and to understand the importance of forgiveness.
Great question! I’m so thrilled you want to share the gospel with someone!
You’ve explained in your e-mail to me that the nature of your relationship to this co-worker isn’t going to be problematic, but for any readers wondering about sharing the gospel with men, please see #11 here and always exercise wisdom and caution.
Take a moment to read the story of the woman at the well. She was zero minutes removed from her sin – in fact she may not have truly been a Believer yet – when she ran back to town urging her friends and neighbors, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”.
Or the blind man Jesus healed: “The man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed and received my sight…One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.”
Honey, that’s you. You’re just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to have all the answers, because you’re not the one who’s going to save this guy. Jesus is. He is perfect. He has all the answers. It’s OK to tell your co-worker that you’re new at all this and still learning…but tell Him about Jesus.
Tell him how Jesus washed all your sins away. Tell him how Jesus set you free and gave you peace. Tell him you want him to have the same living hope that you have experienced and to understand the importance of forgiveness. Tell him.
I just read your article about Nativity scenes, and I agree with you. This article makes me wonder, however: I’m curious about your take on the statues and various sacraments that are typical in a Catholic church. Do you think there is a line that has been crossed with such things, or do you think it depends on how an individual approaches and uses these items?
This is a super question – I really like the way you’re thinking this through!
Yes, a line has been crossed in Catholicism, but it’s much more foundational than most Christians realize. There’s no way to gently and, at the same time, clearly say this for those who may not be aware, so I’ll just say it: Catholicism is not Christianity. Even though it utilizes the Bible and Christian terminology, much like Mormonism, It is a different religion at its very core.
There are many reasons for this, and idol (statues) worship, as you’ve touched on, is only one of them. Positioning Mary as co-redemptrix with Christ is blasphemy. Purgatory blatantly contradicts both Christ’s sufficient atonement for sin and outright rejects Scripture’s teaching on God’s judgment after death. Re-crucifying Christ in the Mass along with transubstatiation is an abomination. Praying to (or in or through or with or whatever conjunction they want to use) dead people (the “saints” and Mary) is patently unbiblical. Infused righteousness rejects the biblical teaching of imputed righteousness. The teaching that one must be baptized into the Catholic “church” in order to be saved is anti-gospel.The Pope is not infallible as proved by all of the above and more. And don’t get me started on the Catholic “church’s” scores of brutal murders and imprisonments of Bible believing, Bible preaching, Bible translating, and Bible owning Christians during the Protestant Reformation. I could go on and on.*
But possibly the most egregious heresy Catholicism teaches is that anyone who believes this…
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
…is anathema – excommunicated from Catholicism and therefore damned to an eternity in Hell. This is just one of the many anathemas from the Council of Trent, which convened in 1545 to codify Catholic doctrine and repudiate Protestantism:
If any one saith, that by faith alone the impious is justified; in such wise as to mean, that nothing else is required to co-operate in order to the obtaining the grace of Justification, and that it is not in any way necessary, that he be prepared and disposed by the movement of his own will; let him be anathema.
According to Catholicism’s own doctrines, anyone who believes what the Bible says about being saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, and not by these plus accompanying works, is damned. If that’s not “another gospel,” I don’t know what is.
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed. Galatians 1:6-9
So, to answer your question a little more directly, there is no right or “biblical” way for a Catholic to use statues, relics, sacraments, or any other accoutrements of Catholicism because the entire system is corrupt, anti-biblical, and is not Christianity.
Here are a few more resources that may be helpful if you’d like to read more:
*Invariably, when I (or any other Protestant for that matter) address a well established doctrine or practice of Catholicism and how/why it isn’t biblical, a Catholic will argue: “That’s not what we really believe!”. If you’re a Catholic and you’re about to make a comment along those lines, here’s my response: That’s what your own “church” teaches, so it IS what Catholics are supposed to believe. If you don’t believe your own “church’s” doctrine, why are you still a Catholic?
Thank you so much for your ministry. I am truly blessed by it. In regards to The Chosen, I was listening to Todd Friel on Wretched and he said something very interesting about the producer. I have attached the link.
Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. For those who might be unfamiliar, The Chosen is a made for streaming “TV show” drama on the life and ministry of Jesus, produced by Dallas Jenkins. It premiered earlier this year, the week before Easter. At that time, I wrote a review of the series, which you can read here if you like. I have added the following update to that article:
Update (7/12/20):Thank you to a kind reader who brought to my attention a recent interview of Dallas on a Mormon YouTube channel. Dallas seems to believe that Mormonism and Catholicism are both Christianity. You can listen to the short version (with Todd Friel’s commentary) here (starting at 45:00) or the entire interview here. You may also wish to compare (fairly, objectively, and discerningly) Dallas’ comments in the interview with his comments (below) at the end of this article. It is one thing to use the products and services of a non-Christian company. It is another matter to personally believe, as a Christian, that false religions are Christianity and that adherents of those religions are brothers and sisters in Christ. If these revelations of Dallas’ beliefs prevent you from watching The Chosen, that is certainly understandable, and I would encourage you not to sin against your conscience by watching it. However, these revelations do not somehow magically change the actual content of the episodes, nor my evaluation of said content. In other words, I biblically evaluated what I saw in the episodes, so the remainder of this review stands.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
(In the interest of full disclosure, this question was not sent to me by a reader, but was asked in an online Christian women’s forum I’m a member of. I have altered and condensed the question somewhat while retaining the main idea.
You may also notice that when addressing this topic my phraseology will be somewhat euphemistic {ex: “perversion-affirming”}. This is out of an abundance of caution due to the limits many online platforms are now placing on free speech.)
My husband pastors our church, which is situated in a very liberal (perversion-affirming) area. I help lead the women’s ministry. Recently a man, who is in the process of having his body surgically altered to appear female, and who has visited the church a few times, approached me and asked if she could attend an upcoming women’s ministry event. How should I handle this? What should I tell her?
I get that this is an uncomfortable situation, I really do. I would feel uncomfortable if this happened to me, too. But it is not nearly as complicated or agonizing as many would like to make it if we have our doctrine and theology straight and have the faith to commit to it unwaveringly.
One of the reasons this situation can seem insurmountable is an issue I addressed in my recent article Guilt and Shame: Burden or Blessing?. Our culture has made people’s feelings into an untouchable idol, and Christians and the church have followed suit. There is hardly a greater crime in the church these days than hurting someone’s feelings. In fact, we have so idolized people’s feelings that God’s Word, and actually providing biblical help and truth to the person whose feelings we’re trying not to hurt, are often not even a consideration.
Another challenge in this situation is fear of man and fear of suffering. We’ve all seen the news. We know the legal implications for Christians who refuse to toe society’s line on sexual mores. Christians who say no to celebrating sin get arrested. They lose their jobs, their positions of prestige, their reputations, their leases, their businesses, and sometimes even custody of their children. Churches that stand on Scripture in a perversion-affirming area could be publicly slandered, picketed and protested, even vandalized or burned down. This is our reality, and I fully admit, it’s a terrifying one.
But no more terrifying than being crucified upside down, thrown to the lions, or burned at the stake.
This isn’t hyperbole. This is what is coming for us. And now – right now, before it gets here – we get to prepare and practice for persecution by making some hard decisions.
Do we so love the lost and ache to see them rescued from sin that we’re willing to risk hurting their feelings, being reported, arrested, and someday even executed for lovingly telling them the truth of the gospel? That they are sinners with the wrath of God abiding upon them who desperately need to repent and trust the Savior?
With that perspective firmly in place, here are a few thoughts I hope will be helpful to you as you navigate this situation…
♂♀This is an issue for your pastor and elders handle, not you. Let your husband know what happened. The pastor and/or elders need to take this man aside very kindly, share the gospel with him, and then disciple him, long term, in repentance and his biblical role as a man. In conjunction with that, they should help him get whatever medical help he needs to transition back (as far as possible) to physical manhood.
♂♀ If he rejects the gospel, he should be regarded and treated as any other lost man who comes to your church. He should be welcomed to attend worship service, a male-only Sunday School class, and any church-wide or men’s ministry functions he’d like to attend. Because he is lost, he is not eligible for church membership, and therefore not eligible to hold any position of leadership or service – from teaching a class to helping with the youth bake sale to folding the bulletins – in the church.
♂♀ If he chooses to continue attending services and classes, the pastor and elders should make clear to him that he is to dress as a man, no makeup, no feminine hairdos or accessories. Dressing as a member of the opposite sex in order to deny one’s God-determined sex is a sin, and your pastor should not allow this sin to be committed at church any more than he would allow any other sin to be committed at church.
If, after being informed of this, the man shows up for church dressed as a woman, the pastor and elders should remind him he was told not to do this and firmly ask him to leave.
♂♀ It would probably be a good idea for the church to address this issue in some sort of codified/legal way, similar to the way many churches have developed a written policy prohibiting their facilities from being used for same sex “weddings”. The pastor or appropriate elder should contact a lawyer with experience working with churches, or possibly a Christian legal organization such as the ACLJ or the ADF, to find out the wisest course of action.
♂♀ You need to have a biblical perspective on God’s creative design for this man. God created him male. You need to submit to that in your thoughts, speech, and behavior toward him. You should not be referring to him as “she” to others, to him, personally, or even in your thoughts. He is a man, not a woman. To call him “she,” treat him like “one of the girls,” or allow him to take part in women’s activities would be to affirm him in his sin. It would also perpetuate the world’s lie that men can become women, and vice versa.
♂♀ Doing anything to accommodate or affirm this man’s sin is cruel and unloving. Christians rescue people out of slavery to sin, we don’t encourage them to embrace their chains.
As I said, when we have our doctrine and theology straight and have the faith to commit to it unwaveringly, situations like this become much less complicated. Scary and risky to the glory of God, maybe, but simpler. Are we of the world, or of Christ?
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. James 4:4
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
