Complementarianism, Rock Your Role

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by “Teaching” Men?

“You say that women shouldn’t teach men (1 Timothy 2:12), but what about men who read your blog? Aren’t you teaching them?”

It’s the canard that will not die. Complementarian women bloggers, authors, and content creators are frequently asked this question, often by dissenters looking for a “gotcha” moment. Other times it’s a genuine concern from Christian women who want to write but still be in obedience to God’s Word as it speaks to the role of women. But, whatever the motivation for asking, it’s a great question that needs to be answered. Biblically.

It is true that God has ordained different roles for Christian men and women. Both roles are needed and important, but different. Part of the role for women is outlined in 1 Timothy 2:11-15. Women are not to preach to or teach men in the gathering of the church or hold other positions of authority over men in the church body.

But notice that key phrase “in the church.” The context of all of the passages dealing with women refraining from teaching men refers to the teaching of God’s Word in the gathering together of the body of believers.

That’s not the same thing as blogging in the public square. The gathering of the church body might take place within the four walls of a church building, at a park for a Resurrection Day sunrise service, at a Christian conference, at a chapel service at a Christian college or seminary, at a Bible study in someone’s home, or a myriad of other venues, but it’s just that – a physical gathering together of the body of Christ for the purpose of worship, studying the Word, sitting under the preaching of the Word, observing the ordinances, prayer, practicing the “one anothers,” and other “churchy” things.

You’re reading this blog right now. Are you practicing the “one anothers” with anyone? Is anyone standing in front of you preaching the Word? Are you actively worshiping? Do you see an offering being taken up? Baptism? Communion? Prayer? Do you consider yourself to be attending church right now? Of course not. You’re staring at a screen reading an article. This is a blog. Not the gathering of the church.

The Greek word for “church” in the New Testament is ἐκκλησία, or ekklesia. It literally means a gathering or assembly. No gathering, no church.1 And because of that, women bloggers and other content creators aren’t violating the Scriptures that prohibit them from teaching men in the gathering of the church. (And, by the way, this all applies to women on social media, too. That’s not the gathering of the church either, praise the Lord.)

When I explain this biblical distinction to the “gotcha” folks, the pushback (that’s a polite word for it) I often get is, “You’re just hypocritically splitting hairs and doing hermeneutical gymnastics to justify yourself!”. No, you’re just conflating things the Bible clearly distinguishes from one another.

Think of it this way: If I say that all sexual activity outside of marriage is sinful, but I joyfully fulfill my marital duty to my husband, am I a hypocrite? Am I splitting hairs or doing hermeneutical gymnastics? No. Because there are right and wrong contexts for sexual activity just like there are right and wrong contexts for women teaching the Bible, writing on biblical topics, and so on. The Bible has defined categories and contexts. The Bible draws lines of distinction. Conflating a biblical “do” with a biblical “don’t”? That’s what’s unbiblical.

But let’s consider something else, too. Even though Scripture doesn’t require it, most godly, doctrinally sound women bloggers and online content creators – including me – aim our content primarily at Christian women. I have set up parameters for my blog (and my book, when it was in print) and for my ministry to do everything I can to place myself under the umbrella of 1 Timothy 2:12. Look at the title of this page and my Facebook page. It specifically says “Discipleship for Christian Women“. My book was always labeled and marketed as a women’s Bible study. If you’ll take a look at the “Welcome” tab at the top of this page, you’ll see I explicitly say that this blog is for Christian women and that I’m a complementarian. When I address the readers of this blog I nearly always address them as “ladies,” both because my target audience is women, and also to remind the handful of men who follow me that they are not my audience; they are, in a sense, “eavesdropping” on what I’m saying to women. My speaking engagements are for women only. I ask men not to use my Bible studies. I’m not really sure what more I need to do to make it clear that my blog and my ministry are for women, not men.

Don’t men bear any responsibility here? Why should the entire burden for women not “teaching” men fall on the shoulders of women bloggers and content creators? Why don’t the Christian men who are ostensibly so concerned about men consuming content from women address the men who are reading our blogs and following our platforms?

But sometimes these “gotcha guys” – who often have ulterior motives of undermining complementarianism – will visit my blog, claim to have learned something, and then turn around and attack me as a hypocrite for “teaching” them. This is akin to a man listening at the door of a women’s Sunday school class, then bursting in and saying, “Aha! You taught a man.” To those men, I would ask a simple question- If a female blogger puts a fence around her blog and you jump over it and trespass on her property, how is she the one at fault?

Along with Christian women, Christian men ought also to be obedient to 1 Timothy 2:12 by not seeking out female content creators for biblical instruction for themselves. While I welcome male readers – especially those who are vetting me for their wives and daughters or the women of their church, or to gain a better understanding of the issues affecting Christian women in order to lead and shepherd them better – I do not want men seeking me out for personal biblical instruction. All of my readers should look to the doctrinally sound teaching of their pastors and elders for biblical instruction. For women, my blog should only be a leisure time supplement to their sermons and classes at church.

Being a godly female blogger or content creator can be a tightrope walk. All of us have fallen off from time to time, and in those cases we ask that you extend us grace and forgiveness, knowing that we didn’t do it intentionally or rebelliously. Praise God for the “net” of God’s mercy and cleansing that catches us and puts us right back up on that tightrope so we can encourage and build up the lovely Christian ladies in our audience. You mean so much to each of us. We love you and want you to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. That’s why we do what we do.


1This is why it is impossible to “attend church” by watching an online church service. You are not “attending church” online, you are watching other people attend church.

This article is an updated and revamped version of the original article by the same title, published on October 23, 2015.


Additional Resources

Rock Your Role – a series examining the Scriptures governing the biblical role of women in the church

Rock Your Role FAQs

Sisters Are Part of the Family of God, Too!

Women Preaching the Gospel? at A Word Fitly Spoken (on the issue of conflation)

Doctrinally Sound Teachers

A Few Good Men, Again!: 10 Doctrinally Sound Male Teachers

This article has been updated and moved. You can now find it at:

Doctrinally Sound Christian Men to Follow -3

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Will you review my book?

I’ve written a book. Will you please read and review it or give me some feedback on it?

Every time I receive this e-mail from an author, I just want to reach through the screen and hug her. I’ve been in her shoes.

When my book, Jacob: Journaling the Journey, was in print I, too, had to write to bloggers and Christian newspapers and magazines asking them to write a review of my book. It’s a good way to introduce potential readers to your work and encourage them to buy a copy or twenty.

I never liked soliciting reviews for two reasons: First, it’s kind of like asking a boy out on a date – it’s an awkward and weird feeling that you’re essentially saying, “Do you like me enough to say ‘yes’ to me?”. Then, there’s the agonizing wait to see whether or not you’re going to be rejected. Second, I always felt like I was asking the person to invest an enormous amount of time and work, and all I was able to give her in return was my thanks and a copy of my book. It felt like asking someone for a huge favor that I’d never be able to repay.

So my heart goes out to those fledgling authors who are having to cold call bloggers for reviews. It ranks right up there with having a tooth pulled.

Now that the shoe is on the other foot and people are asking me to write reviews of their books, I have a much different perspective. Far from feeling like authors are asking me for a humongous favor, it would be my joy to serve and encourage each and every one of them by writing up shining and supportive reviews for all.

Unfortunately, for a number of reasons, I find that I can’t:

📖 There aren’t enough hours in the day to read and review, in a timely manner, all of the books I receive inquiries about. And, I can’t bring myself to say “yes” to some authors and “no” to others.

📖 I’ll just be perfectly transparent with y’all, I’m very undisciplined right now when it comes to book reading. I study my Bible. I read lots of articles. But for some strange reason, I’m not reading many books – even books of my own choosing – at this season of my life. I can’t really figure it out because I’ve lived my whole life with my nose in a book, but…there it is.

📖 Writing a book review (especially when you have a relationship with the author) is kind of like a friend showing you her new baby and saying, “Isn’t she cute?”. Fortunately, I happen to think all babies are cute, but…with books, not so much. And the last thing I want to have to do is tell a friend, or even a stranger, that her book has a face only a mother could love. I’m an author. I know what it’s like to hear that. It’s no bueno.

Every once in a blue moon, I’ll write a brief recommendation of a book I’ve picked up of my own volition and taken my sweet time reading because I think it’s something my readers would enjoy or benefit from. I can do that without the pressure of a deadline or worrying about hurting an author’s feelings.

Also, I try to compensate for the fact that I don’t write book reviews myself by publishing reviews written by guest posters. If you would like to write a book review as a guest poster, or if you’re an author who has a blog-less friend ready to write a review but needing a platform to post it on, drop me an e-mail and let’s chat about it.

While I’m honored and humbled that anybody out there might want my opinion on her book, and I dearly wish I could write a review for everyone who asks, I’m afraid that – with rare exceptions for people I’m extremely close to or who have served as mentors to me – for this season of my life, the answer has to be an across the board “no”.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Awards

And the Winner Is…

titus-2-1-award

Today, it’s my honor be a recipient of the fifth annual Titus 2:1 Award for a Doctrinally Sound Blog from fellow blogger Ryan Smith over at One Christian Dad. Big hugs and thank yous to Ryan and his (anonymous) reader who nominated me. Be sure to click on over and check out the other two ladies who won: Rebekah Womble of Wise in His Eyes and Sabrina Jaspers of My 3 Princes. Congratulations, ladies!

Ryan has asked the winners to answer a few questions in our “acceptance speeches”…

If you could have dinner with any historical Christian figure, who would it be and why?

John KnoxHe’s one of my heroes in the faith because of his passion for the people of Scotland to know Christ, to read the Bible for themselves, and for false doctrine to be eradicated from the church.

What one burning question would you ask?

John, would you please record a teaching – to be required viewing by every pastor in America – on the urgency and imperativeness of pastors boldly and faithfully fulfilling all three parts of Titus 1:9?

Where and what would you eat?

I’d invite John over to my house for a crawfish boil. After a lifetime of eating Scottish food, he deserves the finest cuisine this side of Heaven.

What was the last Bible verse you read?

Well, technically, Titus 1:9, but before that, Ezekiel 35:15. I’m teaching the book of Ezekiel to my children right now, and today we covered chapter 35.

Pay it forward- who would you nominate for the Titus 2:1 Award?

Definitely my friends Amy Spreeman and Marsha West over at Berean ResearchAnything you read on my blog relating to false teachers or discernment, they probably had a hand in at some point along the way. It is the finest and most godly discernment blog out there. If anybody deserves an award, it’s Amy and Marsha.

Thanks again, Ryan. I guess now I can say
I have an award-winning blog!

Uncategorized

A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Blog Posts

blog-684748_1280

 

Not long ago, I read an article about overused stock photos. You know, like the one up there ↑ that we bloggers use to add visual interest to our articles. It made me laugh, because if anyone overuses certain stock photos, it’s Christian bloggers. I read articles all the time that use the same photos I’ve used for my own articles, and I’m sure other bloggers recognize a lot of the photos I use as ones they’ve used. Hmm…maybe we’re all using the same image site.

Here are seven stock photos that have made the rounds of Christian blogs (including mine). Do you recognize any of them?

1. This Little Light of Mine

sparkler-677774_960_720

think this one might finally be in semi-retirement. For a while there you practically couldn’t read a Christian blog article without seeing this one. Articles on evangelism, marriage, baptism, cutting your toenails in church…it was used on all of them and not really related to any of them.

2. Shebrews

bible-276067_960_720

This one’s usually used on articles about Bible study, so at least that fits. I kind of like it, but then I’m a big fan of both the Bible and coffee. I started to make a comment about how much this Bible is highlighted, but then I realized I have Bibles that look like they were printed on neon yellow paper.

3. Dark Shadows

woman-591576_960_720

There’s a whole genre of these: silhouette lady reaching for the sky. I’m just curious as to how many women have ever actually gone out to the beach or a meadow or the mountains at dawn and thrown their arms up in the air. I haven’t. Maybe I’m missing something and should give it a try. (But I think the something I’d be missing is my nice warm bed.)

4. Miss Lonely Hearts

depression-890x480

I’ve used this one myself and have seen it on countless other blogs, usually in articles about women’s ministry. Guess what the title of the picture is? “Depression.” It does look pretty depressing, but doesn’t it look more like she’s fighting off morning sickness? I spent upwards of a year and a half of my life hunched over like that willing myself not to hurl, so I consider myself something of an expert.

5. Last Man Standing…er…Sitting

church-768613_960_720

This is what happens when you fall asleep in church (although I can’t imagine anybody falling asleep on those uncomfortable looking pews)- the service ends and everybody gets up and leaves your sorry self. And no, we don’t believe you’re that deep in prayer or meditation. It’s a great picture, though, a perfect fit for articles on church-related topics.

6. Cup O’ the Mornin’ to Ya!

coffee-690349_960_720

Mmmmm…more coffee. Look at its steamy goodness filling that bright, airy room with an awesome Arabica aroma. This hypnotic focal point almost prevents you from seeing the bed that somebody forgot to make up. What do coffee and untucked sheets have to do with anything in the Bible? I’m not sure, but I confess, I’ve used this photo before.

7. Bible Study, Baby!

child-945422_960_720

Could this photo be any more adorable? Probably only if we could see this little cutie’s face. I’ll be honest, I love this picture and I don’t care how many bloggers use it. It might not work for an article on circumcision or eternal conscious torment, but, hey, give it a try anyway. It’s too precious to pass up.

Those are the seven most used stock photos I’ve seen floating around the Christian interwebs. What about you? What are some photos you’ve seen over and over on Christian blogs and web sites? Post a link or the photo in the comments below!