Bible Study – Page 9 – Michelle Lesley

Be sure to come back Wednesday, November 2,
for our wrap up lesson!

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Read Titus 3

Questions to Consider

1. Review your notes from last week’s lesson. How does that passage carry over to, impact, and set the tone and context for this week’s passage?

2. If we broadly characterize the lists of personal requirements in chapters 1&2 as character and behavior of Christians inside the gathering of the church, how would you broadly characterize the list of instructions in verses 1-2, 8b, 14? Do these instructions tend more toward character or external behavior? How does this compare with the requirements in chapters 1&2?

Let’s examine each of the instructions for church members in 1-2, 8b, 14:

Be submissive to rulers and authorities: Examine the cross-references for this phrase. What does this generally mean for law-abiding citizens today? Are there times when we shouldn’t obey our rulers and authorities?

Be obedient: Describe a Christian who walks in obedience in her daily life. To what and whom is she obedient? Is she subservient? Oppressed? How does her obedience look like Jesus’ example of obedience in the gospels?

Be ready for every good work: Notice this phrase doesn’t just say to do good works, but to be ready for every good work. What does it mean to “be ready” for every good work? How does being ready – being prepared, organized, planning ahead, etc. – help us get more good works done, and done well? How does this concept of being ready line up with the theme of “setting things in order” in the book of Titus?

Speak evil of no one: Wait a minute, didn’t Paul just say (1:12-13) it’s true that Cretans are “liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons” and that they should be rebuked sharply? Isn’t that “speaking evil” of them? Why not? What does it mean to speak evil of someone? How is that different from speaking hard truths about someone or something when the situation requires it? Some professing Christians would say that warning against false teachers is “speaking evil” of them. Is this true? Why not?

Avoid quarreling: Give some examples of what this might mean in your own life. What does it not mean? (For example, does it mean not to contend for the faith? Never to oppose or correct anyone?)

Be gentle: What does it mean to be gentle as a Christian? Do Scripture’s various admonitions and descriptions of gentleness mean there is never a time to be assertive, even harsh, or is it more of a general descriptor? Consider again Paul’s instruction in 1:13 to “rebuke them sharply,” and these Scriptures.

Show perfect courtesy toward all people: Apply the questions asked in the sections above (speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, and be gentle). Does showing perfect courtesy to everyone mean never to confront someone, stop someone from hurting others, etc., or is it just a general instruction not to be a rude person? Consider these passages.

Devote themselves to good works: Why do you think Paul mentions this twice (8b, 14)? What is the difference between being devoted to good works and being ready for every good work? How do the two go hand in hand? Some Christians can be a bit “triggered” by the phrase “good works,” afraid that any time they see or hear it, the writer or speaker is saying that we are saved by our own good works. Is that what Paul means by “devoting themselves to good works”? How do you know? (Hint: Look ahead to v. 5.) What is the difference between a person who thinks she can be saved by her own good works and a person doing good works out of love for Christ and obedience to Scripture because she’s already saved?

Help cases of urgent need: Think about socio-political culture of the first century. What sort of “cases of urgent need” might have presented themselves in the churches of Crete? How does your church family work together to “help cases of urgent need”?

Not be unfruitful: Examine the cross-references listed. What does an unfruitful church or individual Christian look like? Why does Paul admonish against unfruitfulness? How can the church and individual Christians be fruitful instead?

3. Examine verses 3-7. How do verses 3-7 answer the question of why Paul wants Titus to “remind them to be…” in verses 1-2? (Hint: What’s another word you could substitute for “For” at the beginning of 3?) How does this “why” apply to your life and behavior today?

How does verse 3 describe lost people? How does each descriptor in verse 3 describe you prior to salvation? Why is it good, from time to time, to remember how we lived and what we were like before we got saved?

Verses 3-7 explain how salvation happens. Work carefully through these verses and explain each step of the process in your own words.

Imagine you had a friend who believed in works righteousness – the idea that we can earn our salvation by our good works alone or by Jesus plus good works. Using verses 3-7, how would you explain salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone to her?

4. Examine verses 8-11. List and explain the reason for each specific instruction God gives Titus in these verses.

Notice God’s instruction to Titus (and all pastors) to insist (8) on these things in 1-7. Describe what it would mean for a pastor to insist on “these things” in verses 1-2, verse 3, and verses 4-7. (It might help to look at 8 in a few different translations.) How does this fit with the perspective many hold today that pastors should be “nuanced” and “winsome” when addressing these things?

Summarize God’s desire for the church in these verses:

8- God wants the church to focus its efforts and attention on what? Why?
9- God does not want the church to focus its efforts and attention on what? Why?
10-11- What are Titus / pastors to do if someone in the church starts stirring up dissension by getting those two things (8-9) backwards? Why?

5. Sometimes we can accidentally slip into thinking of people like Paul and Titus as characters in a story. How can passages like verses 12-15 serve as an endearing reminder that they were real people with real Christian friends living real day to day lives just like you and me? Has it ever occurred to you that, even though you can’t see them, Paul and Titus are – right this very minute – your brothers in Christ, and you are their sister in Christ, just as much as the brothers and sisters in Christ you see every week at church? What are your thoughts about that?

Homework

Verse 1 says: “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities”. Christians submitting to the authority in our lives is a major theme of the New Testament. Do a study of this theme. Type into your concordance words like “submit,” (often, if you’ll type in, for example, “submi,” your concordance will give you all forms of the word: submitting, submission, submits, etc.) “obey,” “authority,” etc., and examine the verses that pop up. Why, in general, does God want Christians to submit to authority? Are there times when we should not submit to particular authorities? How do Scripture and godly wisdom play into this? Who are the authorities in our lives that God wants us to submit to, and why? How does submitting to authority grow us, sanctify us, and make us more like Christ? What does our submission to authority teach a watching world about submitting to God?

Suggested Memory Verse

Titus Bible Study

Titus: God’s Order of Service ~ Lesson 5

October 5, 2022October 4, 2022 Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4

Read Titus 2:7-15

Questions to Consider

1. Review your notes from last week’s lesson. How does that passage carry over to, impact, and set the tone and context for this week’s passage?

2. In lesson 4 (link above, see question 2) we noted that 1:9 and 2:1 bookend the section (1:10-16) on false teachers. Today, note how 2:1 and 2:7-8 bookend the section (2:2-6) on the character and behavior qualities of church members. What aspect(s) of the pastor’s life, ministry, and/or character does verse 1 address? Verses 7-8? How does the spiritual health, doctrinal soundness, and maturity of the church both begin and end with the pastor? How can both a pastor’s teaching (2:1) and his character / behavior (7-8) impact the church toward godliness? How can the pastor’s teaching and character / behavior set a godly example for older and younger men and women (2:2-6)?

3. Compare the exhortation to older women in 3-5 to the exhortation to pastors in 7-8, especially the “so that’s” in 5b and 8b. What differences and similarities do you see? The “so that’s” explain the purpose of each of these instructions. What are those purposes? Review your answers to this question alongside your answers to question 5 from lesson 4 (link above).

4. Why do the character and behavior qualities of bondservants (9-10) seem almost to be added as an afterthought – outside the “bookends” of the pastor in 2:1 and 7-8 – to this section? Is it because they are somehow “second class citizens” in the church? Describe the character and behavior qualities of bondservants in 9-10. Why are more instructions given to bondservants than some of the other church members in 2:1-8? While there are character qualities and behaviors that are unique to, say, pastors and women, how do the character qualities and behaviors of bondservants translate to all of us who are servants of Christ? Compare the “so that” of bondservants (10), stated in the positive, to the “so that’s” of women (5) and pastors (8), stated in the negative.

5. Examine 11-14. What does the word “For” mean at the beginning of 11? Summarize the main points of 11-14. What is the reason(s), in these verses, for the instructions that have been given in 2:1-10, and even since 1:1? Why do we as individual Christians and as the church body comport ourselves as we do and carry out the tasks we carry out?

Carefully study verse 12. What does it look like for…

Christians in general
the members of your local church
you, personally

…to “renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age”? What are some specific things each of those groups would do differently in their particular situations if they were renouncing ungodliness, etc.? How does God’s grace “train” (11) us to live the way verse 12 describes? Compare the description of God’s grace “training” us (11-12, 14) to pastors training and teaching the congregation (1:9, 2:1, 15), and to older women teaching and training younger women (2:3-5). Notice how each (God’s grace, pastors, older women) trains in both the positive (“do this”) and the negative (“don’t do that”). How does teaching / training from pastors and older women reflect the way that God’s grace trains each of us?

What is the purpose for which Christ gave Himself to redeem us (14)? How is Christ giving Himself for us to redeem us (14) the impetus for renouncing ungodliness, etc. (12)? Is it possible to live the way verse 12 describes if you have not been redeemed by Christ? Why?

Imagine you have a “Christian” friend whose outlook on life is, “I prayed the prayer and walked the aisle. I’ve got my ticket to Heaven punched, so it doesn’t really matter how I live between now and my death. I can do whatever I want.” How would you correct her with verses 11-14?

6. Who is the “you” in verse 15? How does this verse – and Paul continually circling back to Titus – help remind us that the book of Titus is a pastoral epistle? What is the purpose of a pastoral epistle?

Notice the emphasis on a pastor’s authority in verse 15. Consider the authority of your pastor and other pastors you may know in light of this verse. Why is it important for a pastor to exercise godly authority and oversight over his congregation? Compare verse 15 to these passages. Describe biblical pastoral authority.

Homework

Study the theme of self-control in Titus 2. How many times is self-control mentioned, and in which verses? For which individuals or groups in the church is self-control a required character trait, and why? How does self-control, exercised by each individual and group in the church, lend itself to the orderliness, unity, and spiritual maturity of the church? What specific ways can you personally, and the older and younger women in your church practice self-control?

Suggested Memory Verse

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Teaching co-ed college Sunday School… “Losing it” with attackers… “Tough” vs. “fluff” Bible studies… Why “Bye Begg”?)

October 4, 2022February 7, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

I’ve been asked to teach a college/career Sunday School class. It’s couples that are married, some engaged. I would probably be able to co-teach with a man. Should I as a woman not be teaching that class since it has men and not really youth?

It’s really great that you’re giving this some thought and asking that question!

You’re correct – college aged young men are men, even if they are young. You should not be teaching them, your church is wrong for asking you to teach them, and your pastor is wrong for allowing women to teach men in your church. It isn’t just wrong for you, individually because you would be violating Scripture, it’s also wrong because, if you did it, you would be leading these young men to think that it’s OK for women to teach men. You would be teaching them by your actions that it’s OK to ignore or disobey any command of God that’s inconvenient or that we don’t like. (This is one of the reasons I also discourage women from teaching youth/teen boys.)

As far as “co-teaching” goes, it depends on what you and your church mean by that term. What the term “co-teaching” actually means is that you and another teacher(s) take turns teaching the class the Bible lesson. If that’s how you and your church are using that term, then, no, you shouldn’t be co-teaching. It doesn’t matter whether you’re teaching every week or every other week or once a month or whatever. You’re still teaching men the Bible, and that’s still a sin.

However, some churches/Christians will say that, for example, a husband and wife are “co-teaching” a Sunday School class when what they really mean is that the husband is doing all of the actual teaching and the wife is taking care of the administrative duties of the class like making the coffee, taking attendance, organizing fellowships, contacting those who have been absent, etc., but not doing any of the actual teaching. That is absolutely fine, but they need to stop calling it “co-teaching” – a) because it’s not, and b) because it leads others to believe they and their church are sinning when they’re actually not.

I would encourage you to give some thought and study to my Rock Your Role series of articles, starting with Jill in the Pulpit and Rock Your Role FAQs (start with #13), then make an appointment with your pastor to politely and kindly ask him why he’s allowing women to teach men in your church. If he brushes you off or tries to make you feel like the bad guy, it’s time to find a new, doctrinally sound church. Churches that allow or encourage women to teach men are just as much in sin as if they were allowing or encouraging church members to steal from the offering, or remain in a homosexual lifestyle, or if they taught that abortion is OK. No one should be joined to a church that’s in active, unrepentant sin.

Curious- Do you ever lose it? As in raise your voice and yell at someone who attacks you over doctrinal issues?

I don’t personally recall ever having lost it quite like that, but that has nothing to do with my stellar level of self control or personal holiness or anything like that. It has more to do with the fact that when I’m attacked, it’s virtually always online – social media, email, or blog comments – and virtually always by strangers. That affords me ways of dealing with the person or comment that aren’t feasible when you’re dealing with a friend or loved one in person.

I have gotten into a few exchanges on social media in which I was convicted that I crossed the line of anger or I squandered time in an argument that I should have stewarded better. In those cases, I’ve repented and asked the person’s forgiveness. And I’ve tried, since then to have a much stricter Matthew 7:6 policy.

The handful of times I’ve been attacked in person by someone I know, I was usually prepared because the meetings were pre-arranged for the specific purpose of excoriating me for standing on the truth of Scripture and decrying false teachers and false doctrine. I had my notes and thoughts in order and was prepared beforehand not to lose it.

The one or two times I’ve been spontaneously attacked in person by someone I know were relatively brief in duration, and I pretty much stood there in stunned silence with my mouth agape at the shock of a professing Christian acting that way. Even after all these years, I don’t think that’s something I’ll ever get used to.

So, to my recollection, no, I’ve never lost it like that in a similar situation, but mainly because I haven’t been in a similar situation.

I’m a co-leader of a women’s group at our church.. at first the other leader and I were on the same page.. no fluff. We are currently doing J.I. Packer’s book, Knowing God, and all I hear is, “It’s too hard!”. They all want fluff but 3 of us..How do I change their minds?… I’ve been praying on how to handle this. I can’t do fluff! They want Beth Moore type stuff. That is a hard pass for me. What should I do?

Atta girl! Fluff is not the answer, and we should always take a hard pass on false doctrine.

What should you do? You do exactly what you do with a toddler who only wants to keep eating candy rather than healthy food: You keep feeding her healthy food. You don’t give in to unbiblical, unhealthy childish whims. There’s not a single biblical passage that teaches us to coddle Christians in their immaturity. Scripture always instructs us to grow up.

That being said, we start babies on baby food, not steak. I haven’t read that particular book by Packer. Perhaps it is a little too tough for them, and the reason they’re suggesting “fluff” type authors and studies is that that’s all they know to suggest as an alternative.

Can I make a couple of suggestions? When you finish the Packer book (or, if you think it’s wiser, just discontinue it now)…

Grab one of my Bible studies and take them through it. Maybe one of the shorter ones like Colossians or Ruth. All of my studies are free, so if it turns out not to be a fit, nobody has lost any money. Also, you know where your ladies are, maturity-wise, and you can simplify or skip any of the questions you think are too tough for them at this moment. You can tailor the study for the ladies of your particular church.
If you absolutely have to do a book study rather than a Bible study, I would recommend my friend Allen Nelson’s book From Death to Life: How Salvation Works for two reasons: a) It’s a lot shorter, and probably simpler, too, than Packer’s book, and b) Often the reason women clamor after false teachers is because they’re not genuinely saved (John 10). This book is a wonderful, simple exposition of the gospel.

“Tough” and “fluff” aren’t your only two options. The key is to meet your ladies where they are, set the bar a little higher, and help them grow to maturity.

Why is Alistair Begg no longer listed at your Recommended Bible Teachers tab?

February 2024 UPDATE: Due to recent events, this section unfortunately became too lengthy and too much of a distraction to the rest of this article. I have explained why I removed Begg from my recommends and have gathered all of my information about him in one stand-alone article here.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Titus Bible Study

Titus: God’s Order of Service ~ Lesson 4

September 21, 2022September 20, 2022 Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3

Read Titus 2:1-6

Questions to Consider

1. Review your notes from last week’s lesson. How does that passage carry over to, impact, and set the tone and context for this week’s passage?

2. Look back over the latter part of chapter 1 (9-16). How do 1:9 and 2:1 “bookend” this section on false teachers? How is the teaching of sound doctrine both the prevention and the cure for false doctrine? To what group of people (2:1-6) is Titus to teach sound doctrine?

3. In 1:5, Paul instructed Titus to “put what remained into order”. Examine the orderliness of the structure of 1:5-2:6. Notice the “first things, first” order of priority of Paul’s instructions. What is first, second, etc. on Paul’s “to do list” for Titus, and why?

1:5b-
- 1:6-9-
1:10-16-
2:1-
2:2-
2:3-5-
2:6-

4. Compare the style and tone of 2:1-6 to 1:5-9. Titus 1:5-9 gives us the qualifications and character traits of an elder. Similarly, Titus 2:1-6 gives us what? Which three categories of church members are listed in verses 1-6?

Make a four column chart for each category: older men, older women, and younger men. In column 1, list each qualification or character trait of a godly, healthy church member. In column 2, explain this qualification / trait according to what you know of Scripture. In column 3, explain how this qualification / trait helps the church, makes it healthier, or contributes to its orderliness. In column 4, indicate whether or not this qualification / trait is the same or similar to a qualification / trait in either of the other two categories. Which are common to all three, and why?

When a church considers hiring a new pastor, we examine whether or not he meets the qualifications / traits of 1:5-9. In a similar way, should a church examine, when possible, the qualifications / traits in 2:1-6 of a potential new church member when considering whether or not to accept that person into membership? Why or why not? How might a church go about this? Does your church do this in some way?

We typically deem a pastor or elder “disqualified” for his office if he violates the qualifications / traits in 1:5-9. Consider the qualifications / traits of church members in 2:1-6 in light of the church discipline process in Matthew 18:15-20. How does a church that properly practices church discipline help to build and grow these godly qualifications / traits in church members? Should a church discipline a church member who violates the qualifications / traits in 2:1-6? Why or why not? How might a church covenant (for example) fit in to all of this?

5. Compare these requirements for elders, with the requirements for older men (2:2), older women (2:3-5) and younger men (2:6). For which groups does Paul give only character requirements? For which two groups does he give character and behavior / action requirements? Are any of these character and behavior requirements the same? Why? Which two groups does he address at greatest length? Why? For which two groups is teaching a requirement? Why?

Compare the pastor / elder leadership (over men and the entire church) and older women’s leadership and guidance (over younger women and children in the church) to the dynamic of husband as head and wife as helpmeet in a marriage. What are some ways the women of the church can serve as a “fit helper” to the pastors / elders and the church at large?

6. Often, the backlash against the extreme of antinomianism is the opposite extreme of legalism. This is what happened with the Pharisees during the intertestamental period after Israel returned from exile. There was such extreme concern about falling back into lawlessness that the Pharisees made up their own laws for God’s people that were even more restrictive than God’s laws. The same thing sometimes happens with Titus 2:3-5. There is such extreme concern about egalitarianism, that some Christians backlash against it with legalism. They twist Titus 2:3-5 to do so, basically saying that the only things women can teach other women are practical domestic skills, like cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. No Bible teaching, no discipling other women in the Scriptures, and so on. Is this what Titus 2:3-5 actually teaches? What does “teach what is good” mean? How is an older woman to teach a younger woman to “love her husband and children” without teaching her what the Bible instructs us about love? Or to be kind, self-controlled, or submissive to her husband without training her in the Scriptures about those things? I would encourage you to watch my teaching session Teach What is Good: Discipling Younger Women in the 21st Century (starting at 1:18:02 on the video) to learn more.

Homework

Consider again the paradigm of the women of the church serving as a fit helper to the pastors / elders and the church at large. How are the women of your church doing in this regard? Are they a loving and hard working Proverbs 31-type “helpmeet,” striving to nurture and do what’s best for the church? Or are they more like the quarrelsome wife of Proverbs?

Think, pray, and talk with other women and your pastor / elders about ways the women of your church could be a better “helpmeet”. Just as Paul prioritized what was most needful for the orderliness of the church in Crete, come to a wise and prayerful consensus on what is the highest priority issue that needs to be addressed for the women of your church, whether that’s learning the Bible better, hospitality, quelling gossip, servanthood, or whatever it might be. Rally a few other godly women, formulate a plan to address this issue, and, under your pastor’s / elders’ leadership, implement it.

Suggested Memory Verse

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Female pastor in 2 John?… Pronouns for pre-schoolers… Women’s ministry “how to”… Video studies for women?)

September 20, 2022August 3, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Is the epistle of 2 John addressed to a female pastor? I just read a social media debate on this topic. One poster is focusing on the “children” in the verse, seeing them as God’s spiritual children (the church) and only considering the “chosen” or “elected” lady as the leader/pastor of the church. I took “chosen or elect” to mean she’s a “godly” woman, one predestined (chosen by God) like other believers.

Great question! It is so important to pay attention to details like this in Scripture.

No, 2 John is not addressed to a female “pastor”. If it were, it would be a stern letter of rebuke because such a woman would be in egregious sin and rebellion. The verses that are being twisted in an attempt to argue this fallacy are parts of verses 1, 4-5, and maybe a bit of 13:

The elder to the elect lady and her children … some of your children … I ask you, dear lady … The children of your elect sister greet you.
Excerpted from 2 John 1, 4-5, 13

You are definitely on the right track in your thinking. Some people think 2 John was written to a church and John was riffing off the “church as the Bride of Christ” metaphor by using this female personification of the church. “Elect” or “chosen lady” would then mean elect or chosen in the sense that the church is elect or chosen out of the world. This “lady’s” “children” would, metaphorically, be the members of that church.

Others think 2 John was written to a particular woman in the church, namely the woman who had offered her home as a place for the church to meet. Verse 10 would be a good fit with this idea, warning her that, though it was customary and good Christian hospitality to open her home to godly pastors and teachers who were traveling around and needed a place to stay, that she should not extend hospitality to those preaching a false gospel. This individual woman would be elect or chosen in the sense that every individual Christian is elect or chosen. Her “children” would be understood to be her own biological children.

Personally, I can see where a good argument could be made for both of these perspectives, and that maybe John had both in mind as God moved him to write this letter.

But whichever perspective you lean toward, one thing we know for sure is that it was not written to a female “pastor”. John would not have commended someone that Paul’s epistles rebuke. That would make Scripture contradict itself, and, thus, God contradict Himself, since He is the author of Scripture. And we know that can’t happen.

How would you respond (or how have you responded) when someone prefers to be called by the opposite gender?

I had a man correct my daughter (she’s only 2, almost 3) today because she referred to him as “he”. I told him out of deep love for him I could not in good conscience refer to him as “her,” but how do I explain that to an almost 3 year old? How have you informed your kids about this? Would love any feedback you have on this.

I do not envy you young moms who are having to deal with things like this with your small children. My youngest child is 19, so this was not an issue when he or any of his older siblings were toddlers or even young teens. Isn’t it amazing how fast the world has plunged headlong into this depth of sin?

I think you handled the situation just fine, and with a two or three year old who likely had zero memory of this incident the next day, you probably don’t even need to broach the subject. But if you do, I would suggest keeping your focus broad and shallow. “Honey, you need to whisper to me when you have a question about another person, or wait until later to ask. That person’s feelings might get hurt, and we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings if we can avoid it.”.

Honestly, for a two or three year old, even the part about hurting someone else’s feelings is going to go right over her head (as is the “wait until later” part, and she’s also unlikely to remember the “whisper to me” part for the future). Children that young rarely have the capacity to grasp the concept that another person even has feelings. They certainly aren’t going to understand the concept of adults “identifying” as the opposite sex. This is really not something you need to worry about trying to explain to her at this young age, and no amount of talking or explaining is going to keep a pre-schooler from verbalizing any and every thought that comes to mind. Ask any parent – that’s just what they do at that age.

In another year or two, if you encounter a person like this again and your daughter asks you why that man is dressed like a woman, you might say something like,

“Well, you know how sometimes you think you’d like to be a dog or a fairy princess instead of a little girl so that’s what you pretend to be? Do you ever see Mommy doing that? No? That’s because when we grow up, the Bible tells us we’re to put childish ways behind us. We’re to be happy with the way God made us and do our best to love Him and serve Him as the person He created us to be.

It’s really sad, but sometimes a boy [or vice versa for a girl] who doesn’t know God will grow up and think he would rather be a lady than a man, kind of like you think you’d rather be a fairy princess or a dog than a little girl. But instead of acting like a grown up and asking God to help him be happy with the way He made him, the man will dress up like a lady and pretend to be a lady. Let’s take a moment to pray for him, that He will come to know Jesus and be happy that God made him a man.”

Additional Resources:

The Mailbag: What’s In a Name?

pride, pronouns & prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

My church is looking at getting our women’s ministry off the ground and I was asked to be on the team. Do you have any pointers for what works best for your women’s ministry? I definitely want the focus to be growing women in the Word, but I’m unsure how to go about structuring the meeting.

I’m going to give you some resources below that can help jump start your brainstorming, but first a few very simple suggestions:

Trust God and pray for wisdom and direction. God promises to give them to you if you ask, so why not take Him up on His offer?
Gather your ladies together (or create a survey and email it out) and ask them what sort of structure or class would be most helpful to them.
With their feedback in hand, talk things over with your pastor. He should be able to give you some guidance that’s tailor made for the ladies at your particular church.

Additional Resources:

Teach What Is Good: Discipling Younger Women in the 21st Century– Listen in to my teaching session from last year’s OHCW conference. In fact, you might find all of last year’s sessions to be helpful (you’ll find the links below the video).

Biblical Women’s Ministry- Part 1 at A Word Fitly Spoken

Practical Women’s Ministry Part 2

All Word and No Play: The Importance of Fun and Fellowship in the Doctrinally Sound Church

Guest Post: Building a Biblically Healthy Women’s Ministry (by a pastor, for pastors)

The small church I pastor in the process of launching a women’s ministry and I’m curious if there are any specific video studies led by women that you recommend. I hope to compose a menu of studies for them. Thanks for your assistance.

In case anyone is confused, this email is from a (male) pastor, not a woman pretending to be a pastor. Just wanted to clear that up, there. :0)

Brother pastor, my husband is a retired worship pastor, and God always had us at small churches too, so I not only sympathize with the challenges small churches face, but I also have a lot of experience with women’s ministry at small churches.

And still, I encourage women’s ministries (men’s ministries too, if that were my wheelhouse) not to use what I call “canned” studies (workbooks, videos, etc.) but to study and teach straight from the text of Scripture itself. That’s the primary reason why, on principle, I don’t make recommendations for any women’s Bible study materials other than the Bible itself. The second reason I don’t recommend “canned” studies is that, as you have probably discovered in your search, the overwhelming majority of women’s “Bible” studies are authored by false teachers and consist mainly of fluff and false doctrine. Even if I wanted to make recommendations, it would be nearly impossible.

What I would recommend instead is that you find at least one woman, and maybe up to five or six women, should your church be so blessed, who are spiritually mature and seem to have the gift of teaching, and begin training them to rightly handle and teach Scripture to other women, since this is the biblical instruction we’re given.

As they’re learning, you may wish to take them through or have them practice teaching some of the Bible studies I’ve written as “training wheels” to help them learn. My studies (all free) are designed to teach women how to study straight from the text of Scripture in a “learn by doing” way. Once they get the hang of it, they’ll never have to rely on anyone else’s materials again, even mine! Plus, they’ll eventually be able to teach other women how to teach the Bible. Here are some other resources I think will help: