Basic Training, Homosexuality

Basic Training: Homosexuality, Gender Identity, and Other Sexual Immorality

Michelle Lesley

For more in the Basic Training series, click here.

Sexuality in Western culture is a mess. Within the last hundred years or so, we’ve devolved from a society that had, broadly speaking, a general understanding of, and compliance with, the Bible’s parameters for sex to today’s sexual mores that barely stop short of child molestation and bestiality and permits – even encourages – nearly every other form of perversion.

It can be difficult to know how to approach these issues which have been suddenly thrust upon us, and with which the average person – Christian or not – has very little experience. How are Christians to think about, believe, and address these issues in our families, churches, and communities? Do we just go with the “live and let live” flow of modern society? No. As with every other issue in life, our thinking, our words, and our actions must be shaped by and in submission to the authority of Scripture. Not public opinion. Not political agendas. Not our own personal feelings, opinions, and experiences. Scripture.

The Bible makes sexuality and gender identity very simple for us. God created two sexes of people– male and female¹. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman. God created human sexuality and confined its use to a man and a woman who are married to each other. Every form of gender identity or human sexuality that falls outside these parameters is sin.

Bearing that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the sexual issues impacting the world, the church, and Christians today and how we can respond to them biblically.

Every form of sexuality that falls outside biblical parameters is sin. Let’s take a look at some of the sexual issues impacting the world, the church, and Christians today and how we can respond to them biblically.

Get the log out
The Bible is very clear that we’re not to be hypocritical when dealing with sin. Scripture’s parameters regarding sexual sin are extremely narrow and govern not only our actions, but our words and thoughts as well. That leaves me guilty. How about you? Where’s your mind when you’re reading that romance novel or watching that steamy movie? Are you using pornography? Flirting with that good looking co-worker even though you’re married? Using double entendres or other suggestive remarks? Exchanging inappropriate e-mails with another man? Fantasizing about sexual encounters with someone you’re not married to? Going farther than you should, physically, on a date? Before we start thinking about addressing the sins others commit, we first need to make sure our own hearts, hands, and mouths are clean by repenting from any sexual sin we’re participating in.

Before we start thinking about addressing the sins others commit, we first need to make sure our own hearts, hands, and mouths are clean by repenting from any sexual sin we’re participating in.

Sweep around your church’s front door
It’s been pointed out by many lost people, that the church is oh so willing to take a strong stand against news-making sexual issues, but sexual sin inside the church is sometimes swept under the rug. They’re right. How does your church deal with an unmarried couple who are cohabiting? A pastor who uses pornography? A church member who is having an affair? A youth director who’s molesting children? A deacon who uses foul language and makes sexual jokes? Does your church practice biblical church discipline when there’s sin in the camp and comply with sexual predation laws? Do you have screening processes in place to protect the children of your church? Does your church teach against all forms of sexual sin?

Be kind
It should go without saying, but since this is a “back to basics” series it bears repeating: Christ expects Christians to be kind to people – all people – and to treat them with human dignity, respect, and biblical love. Not just in the way we talk to people, but in the way we talk to each other about people. People who live in sexual sin are still made in the image of God and deeply loved by Him. Remember, it was God’s kindness that led us to repentance.

People who live in sexual sin are still made in the image of God and deeply loved by Him. Remember, it was God’s kindness that led us to repentance.

There’s no such thing as a “gay Christian“
Or a transgender Christian, or a stripper Christian, or a bank robbing Christian, or liar Christian. Qualifying someone’s Christianity by their pet sin is an oxymoron. Christians, by definition, are people who sorrowfully turn from their sin and become completely new sin-hating creations through the power of the shed blood of Christ. Christians are characterized by lifelong repentance and the desire not to sin out of love for their Savior.

and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:15-17

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Are there people who are genuinely saved but still struggle against sexual sin? Of course. Every truly born again person struggles against sin for the duration of her natural life. But the Bible knows nothing of a willfully unrepentant conversion to Christ or life in Christ (regardless of a previous “decision” for Christ, participation in baptism, etc.). It is a contradiction in terms and simply does not exist. Nobody gets to carry her sin with her past the cross.

The Bible knows nothing of a willfully unrepentant conversion to Christ or life in Christ. It is a contradiction in terms and simply does not exist. Nobody gets to carry her sin with her past the cross.

Tell the good news
People enslaved by sexual sin, especially those who think they’re Christians, need the good news of the gospel just like people enslaved to any other sin. God can and does save people out of homosexuality, transgenderism, promiscuity, and all other forms of sexual immorality, as the 1 Corinthians 6 passage above makes abundantly clear. His arm is not too short to save anyone.

God can and does save people out of homosexuality, transgenderism, promiscuity, and all other forms of sexual immorality. His arm is not too short to save anyone.

Withholding church membership, ordinances, and leadership
Local church membership, ordinances (baptism and the Lord’s Supper), and leadership positions within the church are restricted to Christians, because the church is, by definition, the body of Christ: regenerated believers. It’s certainly fine for any non-believer to attend services, classes, or events at your church as long as she isn’t being disruptive or pushing unbiblical beliefs, but people who are living unrepentantly in any sin are not Christians and should not be invited to become members of the church, participate in baptism or the Lord’s Supper, and certainly should not be given any position of service or leadership in the church.

Going to the chapel if they’re going to get “married”
Christians should not attend same sex weddings (or receptions, showers, bachelor parties, housewarmings, etc.) for any reason. (When it becomes legal, this will also apply to plural marriages (polygamy) and other unbiblical forms of “marriage”.) Regardless of your motives for attending, it appears to others and to the same sex couple as though you approve of their sin.

Often, the reason Christians will give for feeling they should attend a same sex wedding is that they are afraid declining to attend will cause the couple to cut off the relationship with them, closing the door to any future opportunity to share the gospel. But if you’re close enough to the couple to be invited to the wedding, shouldn’t you have already shared the gospel with them? Do you not trust that God can save someone, either immediately or in the future, from one instance of sharing the gospel? This person’s salvation does not rest on your shoulders. It can only be accomplished by the Holy Spirit, and only in His timing. And whether you have or haven’t yet shared the gospel with the couple, what could your attendance at the wedding accomplish other than creating confusion? How can you support their “marriage” by attending the wedding and then turn around later and tell them they need to repent of this sin?

Additionally, attending the wedding sends the message to your children, family, church, friends, co-workers and others that you approve of the sin of homosexuality. We all have people watching us to see whether we stand with Christ or with the world. It’s imperative that we set a godly example.

Yes, if you decline to attend the wedding, you might lose your relationship with that homosexual friend or loved one. But Christ calls us to separate ourselves from the world and be loyal to Him even if it costs us everything- including those we love the most:

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:37

Yes, you might lose your relationship with that homosexual friend or loved one. But Christ calls us to separate ourselves from the world and be loyal to Him even if it costs us everything- including those we love the most.

The gospel divides. And Christians are always called to stand on Christ’s side of the divide.

The Wedding Singer
For many of the same reasons Christians should not attend same sex weddings (or other unbiblical forms of “marriage”), Christian wedding service providers (singers, photographers, bakers, wedding consultants, venues, etc.) – and certainly churches – should decline to provide services for same sex weddings. Doing so facilitates sin, is unloving to the couple (who needs to hear the gospel and repent), and is disloyal to Christ. Christ died for this sin. How can someone who calls herself a Christian play any part in helping people celebrate a sin that nailed her Savior to the cross? Yes, you might lose your business. Is Christ worth that to you?

How can someone who calls herself a Christian play any part in helping people celebrate a sin that nailed her Savior to the cross?

Boys will be BOYS
It is neither loving nor compassionate to help people participating in transgender or other gender identity sin pretend to be the opposite sex or several sexes or no sex at all. While it’s not a good idea to go around speculating about the biological sex of perfect strangers, if you know a person well enough to know that he was born male or she was born female, you should not be using referent terminology that indicates otherwise. A biological male is a “him” not a “her” or a “them.” A biological female is a “her” not a “ze” or “fae”. Christians should also not be participating in other activities that further gender identity sins such as helping a biological male shop for female clothing, attending “coming out” parties, referring to “pregnant men” when the pregnant person is biologically female, etc.

Policy and Procedure
One of the main ways the sexual immorality agenda is being advanced is through lawsuits. If your church won’t allow a same sex wedding in its facilities, the church could be sued. We’ve already seen many instances of wedding service providers who have been sued for declining to provide services for same sex weddings. Laws are now in effect which attempt to force businesses to use the preferred pronouns of those in gender identity sin. It’s a good idea for churches, Christian businesses and other Christian organizations to study up on the legislation surrounding sexual sin, and put in place any possible legal protections. Does your church, business, or organization have the proper written policies in place? You might want to take a look at the Nashville Statement as an example or template.

Sexual sin, whatever form it may take, is just that: sin. People who participate in sexual sin are not a special sect of society. They are sinners just like everybody else. They need love and the gospel just like everybody else. As Christians, we must stand firm on what the Bible says about sexual sin and call those who are enslaved by it out of darkness and into His glorious light. We must offer them the peace, the hope, and the cleansing from sin that only Christ can give.

As Christians, we must stand firm on what the Bible says about sexual sin and call those who are enslaved by it out of darkness and into His glorious light.

¹Yes, I’m aware that the Fall brought with it genetic disorders and congenital defects that can cause abnormalities in human genitalia. These are extremely rare and require correction and treatment by medical professionals. It is also beyond the scope of this article, which refers to the overwhelming majority of those who choose to participate in sexual immorality or the mutilation of their bodies. Please see the Mailbag article, Ambiguous Anatomy… below.

Additional Resources

The Mailbag: Should Christians Attend A Homosexual Wedding?

The Mailbag: What’s In a Name?

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

The Mailbag: Guess who’s coming to (the women’s ministry) dinner?

Preventative Measures: 6 Steps SBC Churches Can Take to Prevent Sexual Abuse

Christmas Dinner with the Sexual Sinner at A Word Fitly Spoken

Pride, Pronouns, and Prodigals at A Word Fitly Spoken

Unashamed: Standing Firm on a Biblical Sexual Ethic at A Word Fitly Spoken

A Review of Single, Gay, Christian by Gabe Hughes

Christian women, Church

Throwback Thursday ~ Pastoral Propriety with Church Ladies, and 7 Ways Women Can Help

Michelle Lesley

Originally published September 20, 2016dancing-893206_1280

Yesterday, I read a fantastic article for pastors entitled The Pastor and Inappropriate Interactions with Women in the Church. (I’ll give you the gist of it, but it’d be better if you would take a second and read it. It’s not long. I’ll wait.) It’s not about pastors having affairs, it’s about inappropriate interactions with women at church: full frontal hugs, emotionally intimate conversations, and such.

I thought it was great advice to pastors, and, while the onus really is on pastors themselves to make sure their behavior toward women in the church is appropriate, there’s no reason women have to make it difficult for them, right? So what can we ladies do to help out our pastors and other brothers at church?

1. Oh, man. Remeber that pastors and Christian brothers are men. No matter how godly they are, they’re subject to all the same temptations as other men, including temptations to lust, touch inappropriately, and even commit adultery. Don’t be lulled into some idyllic complacency that your pastor doesn’t struggle in this area and you don’t have to mind your P’s and Q’s.

2. Trade hugs for handshakes. Maybe you’re just a huggy person in general. You probably don’t mean anything more by hugging a man at church than you do by hugging a woman. But what might it mean or feel like to the man you’re hugging? Maybe that’s something he struggles with. How about offerning a handshake or a pat on the shoulder instead?

3. What Not to Wear. Dress modestly. Yeah, I went there. I’m not going to get into inches of skirt length and all that, just serve your brothers by keeping the girls and the gams sufficiently under wraps. If in doubt, wear something else. If you look like you’re going clubbing instead of to church, wear something else. If it would be too tight or revealing to wear to a funeral without people talking behind your back, wear something else. Sometimes your husband, father, or brother can offer a helpful opinion. They have more experience at looking through a man’s eyes and thinking with a man’s brain than you do.

4. (Don’t) Call me on the line. Don’t exchange personal or numerous phone calls, e-mails, texts, or private social media messages with men. Brief, businesslike, back and forths when absolutely necessary due to mutual projects, meetings, etc., at church are fine, but even those can grow into something inappropriate if you’re not careful.

5. Flirty is for floozies. There’s a fine line between friendly and flirtatious. Locate it and stay on the right side of it.

6. None on one. Do not, under any circumstances, meet alone behind closed doors with your pastor or any other man. That includes your pastor’s office, and it includes pastoral counseling. If he doesn’t insist on another person being present or leaving the door of his office open to a common area where others are around, then you insist on it. Don’t meet in public (a coffee shop, restaurant, etc.) alone with your pastor or any other man, either. That looks like a date to most people.

7. The welcome mat chat. Don’t enter a man’s home if his wife isn’t there, and don’t invite a man inside if your husband isn’t home. Maybe you and the pastor’s wife are friends. You’re out running errands and happen to find yourself in her neighborhood, so you drop by to say hello. It turns out she isn’t home, but her husband is. Keep it to a brief exchange of pleasantries on the porch and go finish your errands. You never know who might be passing by seeing your car in the driveway, but not the pastor’s wife’s car.

Those are just a few of the thoughts I had about some safeguards and precautions we can take to help out our pastors and Christian brothers as well as protect our own hearts and reputations. What say you, ladies (and gentlemen- want to give us the benefit of your experience and wisdom?)? Any other ideas?

Mark Bible Study

Mark: Lesson 17

Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Mark 12:1-27

And he began to speak to them in parables. “A man planted a vineyard and put a fence around it and dug a pit for the winepress and built a tower, and leased it to tenants and went into another country.2 When the season came, he sent a servant to the tenants to get from them some of the fruit of the vineyard. 3 And they took him and beat him and sent him away empty-handed. 4 Again he sent to them another servant, and they struck him on the head and treated him shamefully. 5 And he sent another, and him they killed. And so with many others: some they beat, and some they killed. 6 He had still one other, a beloved son. Finally he sent him to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ 7 But those tenants said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ 8 And they took him and killed him and threw him out of the vineyard. 9 What will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and destroy the tenants and give the vineyard to others. 10 Have you not read this Scripture:

“‘The stone that the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone;
11 this was the Lord’s doing,
    and it is marvelous in our eyes’?”

12 And they were seeking to arrest him but feared the people, for they perceived that he had told the parable against them. So they left him and went away.

13 And they sent to him some of the Pharisees and some of the Herodians, to trap him in his talk. 14 And they came and said to him, “Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone’s opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?” 15 But, knowing their hypocrisy, he said to them, “Why put me to the test? Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” 16 And they brought one. And he said to them, “Whose likeness and inscription is this?” They said to him, “Caesar’s.” 17 Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” And they marveled at him.

18 And Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection. And they asked him a question, saying, 19 “Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife, but leaves no child, the man must take the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 20 There were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and when he died left no offspring. 21 And the second took her, and died, leaving no offspring. And the third likewise. 22 And the seven left no offspring. Last of all the woman also died. 23 In the resurrection, when they rise again, whose wife will she be? For the seven had her as wife.”

24 Jesus said to them, “Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? 25 For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. 26 And as for the dead being raised, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God spoke to him, saying, ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? 27 He is not God of the dead, but of the living. You are quite wrong.”

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Questions to Consider

1. Briefly review lesson 16 (link above) to refresh your memory on the timing of chapter 12. What two significant events took place in Mark 11? So Jesus’ teachings in chapter 12 took place after what and before what?

2. Review Mark 4:10-12 or lesson 6 (link above). Why did Jesus often teach in parables? How does Mark 12:12 fit with Mark 4:10-12? Why do you think most of Jesus’ parables were agricultural in theme?

3. Examine verses 1-12. Who is the “them” in verse 1 (hint: look back at the end of chapter 11)? In this parable, who is represented by…? (hint: think like the people Jesus is talking to – think Old Testament history)

The vineyard planter/owner (1)

The tenants (1)

The series of servants sent to collect fruit (2,4,5)

The vineyard owner’s rejected son (6)/the rejected stone (10)

What message is Jesus trying to get across to the Jewish leaders (and others who might be listening) with this parable? Compare verses 6-8 with verse 12. Would this have conveyed to the Jewish leaders that Jesus knew what they were plotting?

4. Read Psalm 118:19-27 (from which Jesus quotes {22-23} in verses 10-11) as though you’re one of the Jewish leaders Jesus is telling this parable to, who has just witnessed His triumphal entry (Mark 11/lesson 16). What does Jesus’ careful selection of these verses from a messianic psalm tell you about whom He is claiming to be? Why would the Jewish leaders have “feared the people” (12) and so refrained from arresting Jesus at that time?

5. Who is the “they” in verse 13? Why did “they” want to “trap [Jesus] in His talk” (12)? In order to grasp the import of verses 13-17, it’s necessary to understand who the Herodians were. How does the joining together of Pharisees and Herodians demonstrate the expression, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend”? Why would this particular question about taxes (14) have served to put Jesus at odds with one group or the other? Is it possible they were trying to put Jesus in the same catch 22 they had been in in Mark 11:29-33? What was hypocritical (15) about all the things they said in verse 14? Did they genuinely mean any of these things? Why did they “marvel” at Jesus’ answer? (17)

6. Who were the Sadducees? (18) Why would the Sadducees ask Jesus a question about something they didn’t even believe in? (18,23) When Jesus says people will become “like” angels in heaven (25), does He mean that believers literally become angels when they die? What is Jesus trying to teach the Sadducees about the resurrection in verses 26-27? What does it mean that God is not “God of the dead but of the living”?

7. What might a first century Gentile Christian, or you as a Gentile Christian today, have learned from all of this conflict with the various sects of Jewish leadership?

8. Some people falsely teach that we should never question, challenge, or rebuke pastors and other church leaders, no matter what. How does Jesus, in the first half of chapter 12, demonstrate the importance of rebuking and correcting leaders who act sinfully or teach unbiblical doctrine? Compare how Jesus responded to false teachers and their false doctrine to the way some Christians today say we should respond to false teachers and their false doctrine.

9. Jesus used three different methods of teaching correct doctrine to three different groups of people in today’s passage, but His message of biblical truth and sound doctrine was consistent. Which method did He use to teach the chief priests, scribes and elders in verses 1-12? The Pharisees and Herodians in verses 13-17? The Sadducees in verses 18-27? How does this demonstrate that, in teaching the Bible, it’s helpful to “know your audience” and use wisdom in how you convey the message so that they might best understand it?

Homework

Jesus had no problem teaching sound doctrine and correcting false doctrine, but He used wisdom in the way He went about it with different people. For example, He flat out told the Sadducees twice, “you’re wrong,” (24,27) and “you don’t understand God or Scripture” (24). With the chief priests, scribes, and elders, He told a parable (1-12), and they got the message. Do you teach a Sunday School/Bible Study class, or do you have a friend who believes false doctrine and needs correction? Sit down this week and think about the best method you could use to get the biblical message across to this class or person, considering who they are, their background, personalities, etc.

Suggested Memory Verse

And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices. Mark 12:33

Evangelism, Movies

Movie Tuesday ~ EXIT: The Appeal of Suicide

Michelle Lesley

 

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, over 44,000 people commit suicide each year. While women are three times more likely to attempt suicide than men, men are 3.5 times more likely to die when attempting suicide.

As Christians, we have the hope of the gospel to offer those who are in despair. Do you know someone struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts? Reach out to that person and offer help and comfort. You can find more resources for your church and for those who need help at theexitmovie.com.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Should Christian women serve as surrogate mothers?

Michelle Lesley

I’m a single mom in my 20s with a small child. I know a couple who is having difficulty conceiving and was thinking about offering to be a surrogate for them. A donor egg will be used, so the child will not be biologically mine. This couple would only be “renting my womb” so to speak. It would mainly be to help them out, but the fee I would be paid would really ease the financial stress I’m under. Would I be sinning if I did this?

Infertility can be a heartbreaking experience. It is very kind and compassionate of you to want to help this couple out.

Whenever we’re trying to make decisions like this, the first thing we need to do is look at what the Bible says about it. The New Testament does not prohibit Christian women from serving as surrogate mothers. However, just because Scripture doesn’t mention something or specifically prohibit it doesn’t mean it’s permissible. We need to consider why surrogacy isn’t addressed in the New Testament.

If surrogacy had been addressed by Paul, Peter, or any of the other New Testament writers, it would have been denounced as sin, because in that time, the only way for a woman to become pregnant was through sexual intercourse, and sex with anyone other than her husband would have been sinful.

We do see instances of “surrogacy” in the Old Testament (Sarah, Rachel, Leah) in the ancient Middle Eastern cultural practice of a barren wife giving her maid to her husband. The child that the maid bore would then be legally considered the child of the husband and his wife. But, in this case, we have to remember that just because Scripture does mention something doesn’t mean it’s OK with God.

God did not instruct Sarah, Rachel, or Leah (or any other infertile Old Testament woman such as Hannah or Samson’s mother) to give their maids to their husbands to serve as surrogates. This was a cultural practice of the time that these women took it upon themselves to participate in without regard to whether or not it was godly. We also need to remember that these are descriptive (simply telling what happened) passages of Scripture, not prescriptive (a command or instruction we’re to follow – more on that here). Furthermore, we need to consider the context of these surrogacies: the maids had no choice in the matter, the pregnancy came about through a sexual act, the child the maid bore was biologically hers, and the maid continued to live in the same household with the husband, wife, and child after the birth, factors, most of which, normally do not apply to modern day surrogacies.

But there is one aspect of most surrogacies that the Bible does speak directly to in a prescriptive way: “You shall not murder.” (Exodus 20:13) Surrogacy is a legally binding contractual agreement between the biological parents and the surrogate, and most surrogacy contracts require the surrogate to agree to abort (sometimes called “selective reduction” or “termination”) any or all of the babies she is carrying at any time and for any reason the biological parents demand it. If that is the case in your situation, the Bible prohibits you from serving as a surrogate under that stipulation.

But even if that is not a requirement of your contract, there are still a couple of principles we can glean from these Old Testament surrogacies that you would do well to consider as you make your decision.

First, as with the Old Testament surrogacies, surrogacy today is a practice of our modern culture. It is not something God affirmatively instructs either couples or potential surrogates to do in response to infertility. The difference is that modern surrogacy does not involve a sexual encounter, so it may be considered as an option by Christians.

Next, even though the Old Testament surrogacies are different from modern day surrogacies in many ways, one thing they both have in common is that unforeseen problems and complications can arise and cause heartache for the surrogate, the couple, and others.

A great guiding principle in making this decision is found in 1 Corinthians 10:23:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

In other words, the Bible does not say you’ll be sinning by carrying this couple’s child, but is it the wisest and most godly thing to do in your particular situation? Think about some of those unforeseen problems and complications that could arise:

☙Women do still die in pregnancy and childbirth. What would happen to your own child if you died serving as a surrogate?

☙Many health issues (morning sickness, bed rest, etc.) come along with pregnancy and childbirth. How will these impact your body and your ability to mother your own child, who is your responsibility before the Lord?

☙Will the couple raise this child to know Christ? Could you, in good conscience, bring a child into the world you know will not be raised in a godly home?

☙Hormones run rampant during pregnancy and carrying a child brings with it strong emotions. What if you end up being emotionally devastated to give this child up?

☙What would happen if, during your pregnancy, the couple suddenly becomes unable or unwilling to fulfill their financial responsibility to you? Would you be able to absorb the loss or pursue legal action against them?

☙What happens if one or both of the couple dies in a tragic accident, or becomes direly ill or disabled, or the couple divorces, or some other circumstance occurs during your pregnancy which causes them to be unwilling or unable to take the baby? 

☙What if, prior to birth, the baby is found to have a disability and the couple backs out of the agreement?

☙How will it impact your own child to see you give this baby away? Will he be fearful that you will give him away, too?

I would encourage you to enter into this decision-making process with much prayer, asking God for wisdom and searching His word for guidance. I would also encourage you to set up an appointment with your pastor for counseling on this matter, speak to some godly older women in your church who are mothers, and carefully examine the materials in the “Additional Resources” section below.

Additional Resources:

‘Big Fertility’ & The Truth Behind The Surrogacy Industry with Jennifer Lahl on Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey

IVF, Embryo Adoption & Surrogacy: Answering the Hard Questions with Jennifer Lahl on Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.