Mailbag – Page 64 – Michelle Lesley

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Is it OK for pastors to be divorced?

Not just any man is qualified to be a pastor. The Bible sets forth a specific list of requirements for pastors and elders in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. One of these requirements is that he must be “the husband of one wife.” Unfortunately, this phrase has sometimes been misunderstood to mean that pastors and elders must be married (which would exclude never married, divorced, and widowed men) or that pastors and elders must never have been divorced for any reason.

I pretty much agree with John MacArthur’s position in this article, which helpfully explains that the phrase “husband of one wife” actually means “a one-woman man,” not “never divorced,” or “wife required.” Unlike MacArthur, I might not say it’s “extremely rare” that it would be OK for a pastor to have a divorce in his past, maybe just “rare.”

I really think we need to look at it on a case by case basis, especially if the man was divorced for one of the two biblical exceptions: the wife’s infidelity (Matthew 5:32) or an unbelieving wife divorcing him (1 Corinthians 7:15). Although I respect an autonomous church’s right to set whatever policies it deems appropriate (as long as those policies don’t violate Scripture), I, personally, don’t think it’s right to deny a man the office due to his wife’s sin that he had no control over and may have done everything in his power to prevent.

I also think we need to look at how long ago the divorce took place and whether it happened before or after the man was saved. What about a man who was divorced 30 years ago due to one of the bibilical exceptions, but has been a godly husband to his second wife for the past 25 years? What about a man who was divorced 30 years ago, subsequently got saved, tried to reunite with his ex-wife but was rejected, married a godly woman, and has been a godly husband to her for the past 25 years? There are prohibitions against being a drunkard in the biblical qualifications, too. Would we deny a man the office, if, prior to salvation, he was a drunkard, but got saved and has been sober for 25 years? These are issues churches should work through prayerfully when considering a candidate.

A man already in the office of pastor/elder who goes through a divorce should step down for a significant period of time. If the divorce was for unbiblical reasons, he has probably disqualified himself. But even if it was for biblical reasons, he needs time to heal and to focus on helping his children. For the same reasons, I don’t think a man who has been recently divorced should be considered for the office.

If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

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The Mailbag: What is Calvinism?

May 16, 2016September 5, 2019 Michelle Lesley

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What is Calvinism?

Calvinism, or Reformed theology (most people use the two terms interchangeably) is a theological framework, drawn from Scripture, for understanding the Bible, salvation, the nature of man, and the character of God. There are five basic tenets, or “points,” of Calvinism (also known as “the Doctrines of Grace”) which are often presented via the acronym “TULIP” (Please note that these are very brief, general descriptions. See the resources below for more nuanced information and scriptural support.):

Total Depravity: Due to the Fall (Adam’s sin in the Garden of Eden), all people are sinners from birth and in need of salvation.

Unconditional Election: God sovereignly predestines certain people to salvation. Whether or not a person is predestined, or “elect,” has nothing to do with her merit or good deeds. God’s reasons and criteria are known only to God. We have no way of knowing who is elect and who is not, only that people who are genuinely saved were predestined to it.

Limited Atonement: The atonement for sin that Christ made on the cross applies only to those who are, or will, in the future be, saved.

Irresistible Grace: Those who are predestined to salvation are drawn to Christ by God and will desire and accept, rather than reject, God’s offer of grace for their sin.

Perseverance of the Saints: (Sometimes called “eternal security,” or “once saved, always saved.”) Those who are truly saved will continue in the faith for the rest of their lives. Someone who “used to be a Christian” was never truly saved in the first place.

I don’t describe myself as a “Five Point Calvinist” or a “three pointer,” etc., because, while I pretty much agree with all five points (and don’t reject any of them outright), I simply think these doctrines are far more nuanced than they are often presented by Calvinists. We don’t have everything all cut-and-dried figured out about what’s going on in the mind of God about electing people. With regard to human will, we don’t know precisely what God does in a person’s heart, and how He does it, at the exact moment of regeneration. We believe what Romans 9 says about election while simultaneously believing 2 Peter 3:9, that it’s not God’s desire for anyone to perish.

And you know what? That’s OK. It’s OK to hold those things in tension while we’re here on earth. We believe what Scripture says God does, but, where the Bible is silent as to how He does it, His reasons for doing it, etc., well, we trust God and believe Scripture there, too, because it says:

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. Deuteronomy 29:29

So that’s where I am, theologically speaking (I’ve written a little more about it here.) I guess you could say I’m a Reformed gal who leaves room for the mysteries of the mind of God.

Additional Resources:

What are the Doctrines of Grace? at Got Questions

Calvinism at Theopedia

What is Calvinism? at Ligonier Ministries

TULIP and Reformed Theology: An Introduction at Ligonier Ministries

Why I Am a Calvinist by Phil Johnson

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The Mailbag: Give Me Church Ladies, or I Die?

May 2, 2016June 4, 2019 Michelle Lesley

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What does the tag line at the top of your blog, “Give me church ladies, or I die” mean?

JohnKnox150 — Photo courtesy of ReformationHistory.org

The tag line on my blog, “Give me church ladies, or I die” is sort of an homage to John Knox, the key figure in the Scottish Reformation, who famously prayed, “Give me Scotland, or I die.” Knox had a passion for his people to know Christ, read the Bible for themselves, and for false doctrine to be eradicated from the church.

I admire John Knox, and share those same desires for my people (“church ladies”- Christian women and women who, unfortunately, have been deceived into thinking they’re Christians):

I have a passion for women to know and grow in Christ.

I want Christian women to break free of the “women’s ‘Bible’ study system” which keeps them enslaved to false teachers who spoon feed them false doctrine, and study the Bible for themselves.

I, too, want to see false doctrine eradicated from our churches and for sound doctrine to prevail.

Additionally, I am also Reformed, and my ancestry is Scottish, so I thought it was a fitting tag line for my blog.

John Knox was a fascinating man. Read more about him with these great resources:

Give Me Scotland or I Die by Burk Parsons

John Knox: Scottish Reformer at Christian Classics Ethereal Library

John Knox: Reformation Becomes a Reality at Reformation History

The Mighty Weakness of John Knox by Douglas Bond and Steven J. Lawson

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The Mailbag: Women evangelizing men & women teaching at co-ed conferences

April 25, 2016June 8, 2019 Michelle Lesley

When it comes to 1 Timothy 2:12, what about women preaching or teaching the Bible at co-ed Christian conferences, campus ministries, youth ministries, or parachurch ministries? Is that OK since they’re not preaching and teaching “in the church”?

Here, we need to remember what the definition of “church” is. The church is not a building, it is a body of born again believers gathered for the purpose of worship, prayer, the sacraments, and/or the study of God’s word. Those things can take place in a church building, a home (as with the first century churches in Acts), in a campus or office building, outdoors, in a conference center, in a sports arena, or anywhere else. So, when a body of believers comes together for these purposes, regardless of the building in which they meet, or whether you call it “church” or not, they are the church, and the biblical parameters about women teaching and holding authority over men applies.

What about evangelism? Can women share the gospel with men at work, among friends and family, at the store, through an outreach ministry?

Women not only can share the gospel at every opportunity, the Great Commission mandates it for every Christian. However, it is important for godly women to use caution and wisdom when interacting with men in any situation, especially one that can turn out to be very personal and emotionally intimate, as with witnessing.

My counsel would be that you’re generally OK if you’re in a public place and it’s a one time encounter (for example, witnessing to a stranger at the store). However, if we’re talking about multiple encounters – for example, a male friend or co-worker who wants to continue meeting with you over time to talk about the gospel – it might be best to meet with him a couple of times (in a public area) and then “hand him off” to your husband, pastor, elder, brother, friend, etc., for further discussion.

There are several reasons for this.

It protects your reputation. If people see you meeting with a man on an ongoing basis (especially of one or both of you are married) they can jump to the wrong conclusion, and your reputation, and Christ’s, can be sullied.

It protects your virtue. Unfortunately, some men, who have no interest in the gospel, might see your eagerness to meet with them as an opportunity to take advantage of you.

It protects both of you from temptation. A personal relationship with Christ is exactly that- personal. Discussing sin, conviction, and other matters related to salvation can lead to emotional intimacy, which can then lead to physical intimacy. You don’t want what started as a witnessing encounter to end up as sin.

When it comes to outreach ministries (for example, a meal for the homeless, followed by a group gospel presentation or Bible lesson), it’s best for a man to lead co-ed (or male only) adult groups in anything that could be construed as preaching or teaching the Bible. Not because this is in the church setting and the situation falls directly under the parameters of 1 Timothy 2:12, but because…

…there are a lot of highly visible female preachers (Joyce Meyer, Paula White, Gloria Copeland, Christine Caine, etc.) out there, all of whom are in disobedience to 1 Timothy 2:12 and teach false doctrine (usually Word of Faith/New Apostolic Reformation).

The Bible says we’re to avoid even the appearance of evil, and you don’t want to appear to be one of those women if it’s avoidable. Having a man lead the teaching helps distance you and your church from those types of sinful women and their bad theology, and sets a godly example for the people you’re ministering to.

…the Great Commission is clear that we’re not just to make converts, we’re to make disciples. That means the ultimate goal of evangelism is to get the newly saved person plugged in to a local, biblical church. Why confuse a new Christian by having women lead out “in the field” when it’s not going to be that way in the church?

…there are very few examples in the world of what it really means to be a man. Men are constantly emasculated on TV and in society and receive all kinds of conflicting messages regarding what real manhood is. What an impact on lost men (and women) to see an example of a godly, masculine man who leads well, fulfills his duties and responsibilities, and is totally sold out to Christ. If you have someone like that, why wouldn’t you want him to lead?

For more questions and answers about women’s roles in the church, please see my article Rock Your Role FAQs. I’ve added both of these questions to that article.

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The Mailbag: Should Christians do yoga?

April 18, 2016August 5, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Should Christians do yoga? What about Holy Yoga or other “Christianized” forms of yoga?

Before I give my answer to this question, I’d like to ask a couple of questions.

Have you ever heard anyone ask the question, “Should Christians do aerobics/zumba/spinning?”

Ever heard of Holy Weight Lifting, Christian Calisthenics, Redeemed Running or another “Christianized” version of a particular form of exercise?

There’s a reason for that.

If you’ve ever participated in youth or Christian school activities with a dress code, a rule of thumb that’s frequently used to help kids determine whether a particular outfit is too short, too low-cut, etc., is, “If you have to ask, it’s probably not appropriate.”

I think the same thing could be said about yoga.

The reason the question “Should Christians do yoga?” is even being asked is because there’s doubt in the minds of the Christians asking the question that yoga is kosher with God.

That’s a healthy doubt because yoga is a Hindu worship practice.

Hindu Swami Parham on the Hinduism of yoga and why Christians shouldn’t participate

Now, before we go any further, let’s just let that sink in a minute. This activity is used by a pagan religion for worshiping false gods. Would you, as a Christian, participate in any other pagan religious activities used for worshiping false gods? Would you participate in Mormon baptism for the dead? Have a shrine to Buddha in your home? Take part in the fast of Ramadan, one of the five pillars of Islam?

No? What if the water the Mormons use had some special property that soothed your eczema? What if the kids started behaving better every time you set up the Buddha shrine? What if you lost weight while fasting during Ramadan? Would those benefits make participating in pagan religious practices OK even if, in your heart, you were only doing it for the benefits and not actually worshiping those false gods?

No, it would not. Neither is participating in yoga for the health benefits. Not convinced? Give the Old Testament another read.

Time and again, the Israelites were chastised and judged by God for idolatry. And not just full-blown idol worship, but all the steps leading up to it. It was not OK with God that they participated in a “Judaized” form of golden calf worship. When Israel entered the Promised Land, God told them to utterly destroy every last vestige of idol worship. It didn’t matter that they had no intention at the time of worshiping those false gods. Israelites were not to marry foreigners lest they be tempted to idolatry. God didn’t give any special permission to marry foreigners to those who promised not to worship the pagan gods of their spouses, He just said “don’t”. The first two – one fifth – of the Ten Commandments are prohibitions against idolatry. And there aren’t any instances in the Bible of God being fine with his people “Christianizing” idol worship.

This is not a God who’s OK with His people dabbling in paganism.

This is the God who loves us so much He sent His Son to be tortured to death for our sin so that we might be clothed with His righteousness, be saved from an eternity in hell, and inherit eternal life. Doesn’t He deserve better than sons and daughters who want to justify their involvement, at any level, in a religion that, ultimately, worships Satan? Doesn’t He deserve our highest, unsullied loyalty- a devotion that says, “I’m willing to give up anything that doesn’t please You, no matter the cost to me.”?

Yoga isn’t the only game in town. Let’s choose something else. Something that allows us to exercise, and worship God, with a clean conscience.