Category: Mailbag

Mailbag, Worship

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Boundaries… Submit vs. address sin?… Discernment- Who do you think you are?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

This comment was left on my article, Taking Offense:

Thank you for this biblical truth: “Jesus taught us to…love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who curse us, pray for people who abuse us, turn the other cheek, give to those who want to take from us, treat others the way we want to be treated”. Are boundaries biblical then? Do we stick around when someone is pouring out non-stop criticism and verbally abusing us or talking behind our back? Family members can be the worst. People who are not following Jesus and who are consumed with darkness, hate people who are walking in the Light. I understand not taking offense, but in my experience, when I turn the other cheek to abusers, they keep abusing and hate you more. It is not good to allow them to sin against us because when their sin flows freely, it not only harms me but it harms them too. Thoughts?

Great question! It’s one Amy Spreeman and I have received numerous times over the past few years, so we’ve recorded a podcast mini-series on it!

Beautiful Biblical Boundaries- part 1 deals with the Scriptures and biblical precepts addressing boundaries. We discuss how and when to erect boundaries (and how and when not to). This episode is currently scheduled to drop next Wednesday, November 12.

In Beautiful Biblical Boundaries- part 2, we’ll answer listeners’ questions about boundaries in their own lives and relationships. This episode is currently scheduled to drop in about two weeks, on Wednesday, November 19.

Please note that the links above will not work until the dates specified.

This comment was left on my article, Marriage: It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To ~ 7 Ways to Take Your Focus Off Yourself and Put it Back on Christ (By the way, yes, I realize that the length of the titles of some of my articles rivals those of many of the Puritans’ books and pamphlets. I’m OK with that.😀)

I have a question about number 7…

This article pertains to normal, relatively healthy, Christian marriages. In other words, not abusive marriages. If you are being abused, get yourself and your children to a safe place, and call the police, your pastor, or a loved one for help.

Of course, I agree that we should be subject to our husbands. However, are we not to call them out gently on their sin when they are acting like “an ungodly jerk” according to various verses such as Proverbs 27:5, Luke 17:3, Matthew 18:15, and Galatians 6:1? I guess I’m just confused because both commands seem to contradict each other.

This is another super question! The short answer is, “Yes,” but as Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 tells us, “there is a time for every matter under heaven…a time to be silent and a time to speak,” and in the moment when your husband is acting like “an ungodly jerk,” he’s apt to respond poorly to his sin being exposed and corrected, which just compounds his sin. (And frankly, we wives usually respond just as poorly in that moment when the shoe is on the other foot.)

In that moment, generally speaking, it’s usually a time to be silent, and, assuming he’s not asking you to sin, do whatever it is he’s gruffly or impatiently asking you to do with a gracious, kind, willing, and loving attitude and demeanor, as opposed to pouting and feeling sorry for yourself – which is the theme of the article (and also why #7 focuses on the “a time to keep silent” aspect of submission rather than the “a time to speak” aspect of addressing your husband’s sin).

Have you ever heard the phrase “killing someone with kindness”? God has an amazing way of taking our example of godly obedience, kindness, and refusing to retaliate, and using that to convict the other person of his sin. He does that Himself with us:

Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

Romans 2:4

So, yes, there’s a time to speak and – approaching your husband the way you would want to be approached – kindly and humbly address his sin. That time is usually… later. Not in the moment.

What makes you confident in your ability to determine who is a true or false teacher of the Bible? Are you a theologian or do you have background in studying theology and the Bible? Just curious.

(I’ve distilled this question down from a much longer laundry list of complaints from a follower about a Facebook post in which I warned against false teacher Priscilla Shirer. It’s hard to tell from the wording in the brief excerpt above, but this was not a genuine, good faith question from someone desiring to grow in her discernment skills. It was tossed out in a snarky, accusatory, “Who do you think you are?” tone. My tone below, per Proverbs 26:5, is a biblically appropriate response to hers.)

The Bible makes me confident in my ability to determine who is a true or false teacher of the Bible. And if you’re a genuinely regenerated Christian, it should make you confident too.

Our authority as Christians comes from God’s Word, not from a seminary. You don’t have to go to seminary to be a discerning Christian (in fact, many seminaries are so rife with false doctrine that you’d better be discerning before you get there). If you think about it, none of the people who wrote the Bible’s teachings on false teachers and false prophets ever went to seminary, including the Bereans, whom God praised for their discernment.

Scripture tells us:

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

1 John 4:1


Examining teachers and comparing their teaching and behavior with Scripture is a command from God for Christians, not an option, and certainly not something for Christians to criticize and scorn other Christians for doing (as long as they’re doing it biblically, which I am).

So the question here is not why am I obeying God’s Word, testing this spirit against Scripture, and when she’s found to be a false teacher, warning other Christians about her. The question is, if you’re a Christian, why aren’t you? Why aren’t you studying your Bible so that you understand it, and can see how Shirer’s words and actions conflict with it? Why aren’t you warning others against her? I would be very concerned about that for my own spiritual life if I were you.

I hope this resource will answer any other objections to the Bible’s command for discernment that you may have.

I later added these remarks (slightly edited here) to the remainder of the commenters on that post:

I would encourage you younger ladies (especially those who have been commenting in the “Where do you get off?!?!” vein to me) to consider this:

“When one becomes so familiar with His Word you can spot a false teacher a mile away – I told my girls that when you walk close to God and His WORD you become sensitive to the clanging gong of false teachers.”

This quote is from a 70+ year old “Titus 2:3-5 woman” who has been walking with the Lord and a passionate student of God’s Word for over 50 years. And she’s right. And as a younger woman (I’m 56), I’m very thankful for the wisdom she just spoke into my life.

As I said, I’m 56. I have been a faithful member of decent churches since 9 months before I was born. I’ve been saved since I was 12. That means I’ve been walking with the Lord and studying His Word at church, a Christian high school and college, in other Christian organizations, and on my own for 44 years. Longer than many of you have been alive. Furthermore, I’ve been blogging and “doing discernment ministry” for over 17 years.

If you had a doctor with 44 years of training and 17 years of diagnostic experience and he gave you a diagnosis you didn’t like, would you immediately throw it back in his face with a sassy, disrespectful, “What qualifies YOU to say so?” or “What makes you so sure you’re right? MY opinion is…”. I doubt it. You might respectfully ask him some questions or request some resources to help you understand. You might even politely seek a second or third opinion, but you would not be so brash and arrogant to immediately assume he has no idea what he’s talking about and is just being mean to you, and you know better than he does.

I’m not saying this to toot my own horn or “look down on anyone’s youth” (that would be out of context, anyway), and I’m certainly not saying I’m without sin or never make mistakes. I’m saying there’s a reason Titus 2:3-5 specifies that older women are to train younger women. (Which implies that younger women should listen to older women instead of immediately dismissing us out of hand when we say something you don’t like – especially when it’s backed up with rightly handled Scripture and other mature, doctrinally sound Christians corroborate it.) Younger women do not have the same spiritual maturity, life experience, wisdom, and biblical training that older women have who have been walking with the Lord for decades. (I definitely didn’t have it when I was a younger woman!)

By all means, get a second opinion from rightly handled, in context Scripture. Politely ask questions. Do the research on your own. But stop being so reactionary and lashing out every time you hear something biblical that you don’t like. All you’re doing is showcasing your spiritual immaturity and ignorance of Scripture and your lack of self control. Or, worst case scenario, you’re bearing the fruit of someone who isn’t saved.

I’m far from perfect, but I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck and start slinging the label of “false teacher” around willy nilly. By God’s incredible grace, mercy, wisdom, and sanctification, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I know what I’m talking about – all glory to Him.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Holidays (Other), Mailbag

The Mailbag: Halloween vs. Yoga?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published November 1, 2021

I read your article Should Christians Participate in Halloween? and I am hoping to get a point cleared up in my head. I don’t want to be legalistic, and hope not to come across that way. I am just very confused about it. I agree with you on every other theological point. But I don’t see this as [adiaphora] in the same way I don’t see practicing yoga as [adiaphora]. I asked you this same question last year and did not get a reply. Maybe I asked in an offensive way. Honestly want clarity on this issue. How is partaking in any way with a pagan practice any different than practicing yoga? Thanks in advance.

This is a really great question. I appreciate how you’re thinking this through and wanting to be biblically consistent. I want to be biblically consistent, too, so let’s dig into this:

I asked you this same question last year and did not get a reply. Maybe I asked in an offensive way.

Let me quickly address this point of policy first. Although I don’t respond to people who come after me in an angry, argumentative, attacking way, that isn’t the only reason I don’t respond to emails, messages, comments, etc. In fact, it’s not even the main reason, because that’s a very small percentage of the correspondence I receive. So it’s very unlikely that’s the reason I didn’t respond to your question. (I apologize, but I don’t remember receiving the question.)

The main reason I don’t respond to most of the correspondence I receive is that I simply don’t have time. If you’d like a longer explanation about that, click here.

How is partaking in any way with a pagan practice any different than practicing yoga?

It isn’t. “Partaking in a pagan practice” is the reason yoga is unbiblical.

But that’s not what my Halloween article said nor what it was about. I know you actually read the article, and I really appreciate that, but a lot of people either didn’t read the article and only responded (vehemently) to the title of it, or they skipped, missed, or didn’t understand these very clear statements in the opening paragraphs:

…Halloween activities available to you that do not violate scriptural principles or your conscience or cause you to become a stumbling block to someone weaker in the faith…

Please understand that when I say [should Christians participate in?] “Halloween-related activities,” I am including things like handing out candy and tracts to your neighborhood trick-or-treaters, participating in your church’s trunk or treat {assuming no sin is being committed and the gospel is being shared}, etc.

The article in no way suggests that it’s OK for Christians to take part in paganism or sin. It just doesn’t. In fact, the Scriptures I quote in the article as well as my commentary on them, and all of the additional resources at the end of the article explicitly say that Christians are not to take part in those kinds of things.

But sharing the gospel with the children who come to your door, the acquaintances you talk with in your yard, the neighbors your kids trick-or-treat from, or the families who drop by your church’s candy-fest because it’s safe and non-scary is not, in any conceivable way, sinful, demonic, unChristian, celebrating Satan, or any of the other epithets that come my way every year when I run that article. And it certainly isn’t participating in paganism. How could sharing the gospel in any circumstance be demonic or any of those other things? It’s blasphemous to say such a thing.

Dear sister who sent in the question, I know you didn’t mean it that way, but please indulge me a tangent for a moment: I think some of the others who commented on the article didn’t think things through enough to realize this is what they were inadvertently saying with their broad brush remarks – that sharing the gospel in the midst of evil is itself evil.

Do we not remember that Jesus was a guest in the homes of prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners – as evil an environment to the “Christians” of His day as Halloween is to Christians today? Do we not remember it was the Pharisees who rebuked Him for doing so and for (supposedly) defiling Himself?

Jesus didn’t defile Himself by going into those homes because He wasn’t participating in, nor approving of, any sin which took place there. He met those people where they were, called them to repentance, and planted the seeds of the gospel. And that’s exactly what many Christians do on Halloween. (And they often receive from their fellow Christians the same Pharisaical judgment Jesus received.)

And this is the crux of the answer to your question, my sister. Participating in dark, evil, pagan, or debaucherous aspects of Halloween is just as wrong as participating in yoga. How is participating in non-sinful aspects of Halloween different from participating in yoga?

Think of it this way: A kid rings your doorbell on Halloween. You hand him a tract and some candy. That tract is the good news that the celebration of death, evil, and darkness all around him is wrong and that Jesus is the light of the world and the Lord of life. You’re leveraging the good news of the gospel against the evil, pagan, and sinful aspects of Halloween. When you do yoga, you’re taking part in paganism, cooperating with it, and tacitly approving of it – not fighting against it.

I don’t see [Halloween] as [adiaphora] in the same way I don’t see practicing yoga as [adiaphora].

That’s good, because while participating in non-sinful aspects of Halloween, such as the aforementioned, is an issue of adiaphora (Christian liberty), participating in the pagan (Hindu) worship ritual of yoga is not, so you shouldn’t see them the same way.

All of this, of course, is not to say that you can’t avoid Halloween altogether if it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t have to take part in your church’s fall fest or hand out tracts at your door. You can go out to dinner, go to a Reformation Day worship service, go to bed early, or whatever you like. But what you can’t do is bind the consciences of your brothers and sisters in Christ who want to do something on Halloween that isn’t sinful and might even be evangelistic. You cannot unbiblically judge them by your personal convictions. And you certainly can’t call them names or question their salvation as I’ve had the misfortune of seeing some professing Christians do. You have to follow your biblically-informed conscience on issues of Christian liberty. Your brothers and sisters have to follow their own consciences. You will answer to God for your decisions. They will answer to God for theirs.

Additional Resources:

Christian Liberty at A Word Fitly Spoken

Christian Liberty with Michelle Lesley at Echo Zoe Radio

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: When is OMG a 3CV?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published February 11, 2019

Is it wrong for people to exclaim “Oh my G-d” in various situations? I have heard it said casually as well as in response to a tragedy or cry for protection. I would assume that it could be taking the Lord’s name in vain in certain circumstances (e.g. Oh my G–, look at that cute kitten!) but not in others. How can I discern when it is used correctly in ambiguous situations?

That’s a great question since this phrase and its initials (OMG) are used so frequently in real life, on TV, on social media, in books… it’s everywhere! Bless you for wanting your speech to honor the Lord!

A couple of explanatory points before I give my answer:

I’m including the initials OMG because when people see or hear those initials, they understand it to mean “Oh my G–!”. I’ve heard a few Christians say that when they use the letters OMG, in their minds, the “G” stands for gosh or goodness. That’s great, but that’s not what the overwhelming majority of other people think when they see or hear those letters, and they can’t read your mind, so that’s not what it means to them.

The third Commandment (taking God’s name in vain) is not limited to this phrase and its initials. There are many ways to misuse God’s name: profanity or offhand phrases (ex: “Good L-rd!”) that include any of the Trinity’s names, taking a vow or oath in God’s name flippantly and/or not keeping it, misrepresenting God or His Word to others, etc. However, the reader is asking only about this particular phrase, so I will simply answer the question she asked.

The third Commandment is:

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.
Exodus 20:7

Let’s start with a fast and dirty rule of thumb in case that’s what you need: in today’s society in general, “Oh my G–!” and OMG are virtually always used in a way that takes God’s name in vain.

There are only a couple of instances I can think of in which using this phrase is not taking God’s name in vain, and I rarely even hear them in church, let alone on the street, on TV, etc. (Readers, if you can think of others, please comment and let us know.)

There are several verses of Scripture in various books of the Bible that contain the phrase, “O my God”. (I found it interesting that Nehemiah was fond of that phrase, as were the psalmists. Those two books contain the most verses with that phrase.) Here are a couple of examples:

Remember for my good, O my God, all that I have done for this people.
Nehemiah 5:19

O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.
Psalm 25:2

If you’ll examine all of these verses you might notice a few things about the way this phrase is used in Scripture that sets it apart from the way this phrase is normally used today.

First, this phrase is used to address God directly. The people saying or writing this phrase in Scripture are talking to God, not using God’s name as an exclamatory (like we would use the words Wow! or Cool!) without giving Him any thought at all.

Second, this phrase is used reverently and worshipfully. It is used to honor God and the fullness of His nature and character, not, as you mentioned, to exclaim over kittens or some other paltry earthly happening.

Third, this phrase is used in the context of prayer, much the same way we would reverently address God in prayer with phrases like “Dear Lord” or “Heavenly Father”.

(One more thing that might be of interest to my fellow grammar nerds: When you see the phrase in Scripture, it always starts with “O”. When you see it written in the common exclamatory usage, it always starts with “Oh”. That’s not an accident. It’s meant to set apart the two discrete usages. Read more here.)

So the first scenario I can think of in which saying “O my God” would not be taking God’s name in vain would be things like: if you are quoting one of these passages, singing a worship song that either quotes one of these passages or uses the phrase in the same way in which it’s used in these passages, or if your pastor uses this phrase in his sermon or prayer in the same way in which it is used in Scripture.

The second scenario is similar: If you feel comfortable using this phrase in your own private prayer time by using it in the same way in which it’s used in Scripture – speaking directly, reverently, and worshipfully to God in prayer – there’s nothing sinful or unbiblical about that.

I would discourage the use of this phrase in public prayer, though, because it could confuse the people who hear it, causing them to think you’re breaking the third Commandment even if you aren’t. Additionally, if they hear you using that phrase in prayer with no explanation they may think you’re using it in the common (OMG!) way and assume that since you’re using it in prayer it’s OK for them to use that phrase in any situation. Sadly, most people are probably not familiar with the proper, reverent way this beautiful phrase is used in Scripture.

For more on this topic, check out Cussing, Profanity, and OMG on A Word Fitly Spoken.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Worship

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Judas in Hell?… Dementia & submission… Supporting Israel… Replace the sermon with ___?)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Did Judas go to Hell when he died?

Although there is no Bible verse that says verbatim, “Judas died and went to Hell,” and we always have to be very careful with speculating, I believe we can safely infer from two passages (and their surrounding contexts) that Judas is, indeed in Hell.

The first passage is Matthew 26:20-25. This is the scene at the Last Supper when Jesus has just told the disciples that one of them (Judas) will betray Him. He says about His betrayer in verse 24, “woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.” “Woe,” and “better if he had not been born,” are not phraseology anyone, let alone omniscient Jesus, would use to describe someone who would be entering Heaven mere hours later.

The second passage is John 17, Jesus’ high priestly prayer for His disciples just prior to His crucifixion. In verse 12, Jesus says, “not one of them perished but the son of perdition,” referring to Judas. Again, Jesus knows Judas’ death is only hours away. He also knows whether Judas will be in Heaven or Hell afterward. If Jesus knew Judas would be in Heaven, why would He call him “the son of perdition”? Furthermore, the Greek word translated “perdition” or in other Bible translations, “destruction,” is apoleia. This word can carry the connotation, “damnable,” and “the destruction which consists of eternal misery in Hell” (Strongs, G684).

So, yes, Scripture indicates that Judas is spending eternity in hell.

Additional Resources:

Was Judas Iscariot forgiven / saved? at Got Questions?

Did Judas repent? by John MacArthur

This question was submitted in response to my article The Mailbag: What Is Submission?

My cousin’s (a professing Christian) husband has Alzheimer’s, and his mental state has gone downhill very quickly (she is 59 and he is 77.) At one point in the conversation, she mentioned all the responsibilities she’s taken on that he used to handle, and said that she was now the head of the household. I’m wondering if any Biblical texts address a wife’s role in that situation.

My heart goes out to your cousin. Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of dementia are such cruel conditions, both for the patient and his or her loved ones.

There is nothing in the Bible that specifically addresses caring for a spouse with dementia or any other mental incapacitation, or what a wife’s submission to her husband might look like in that situation.

I think what your cousin probably meant by her remark about being “head of the household” is that she now has to take over all of the family “business” responsibilities her husband used to handle: paying the bills, getting things around the house fixed, handling legal paperwork and taxes, making decisions, and so on. And, sadly, her husband is also not able to lead her in Bible study, prayer, and spiritual matters, so she’s having to handle that as well.

These are all things she would immediately have to take over and handle if her husband suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack, and we wouldn’t think a thing of it.

What’s happening to your cousin’s husband is a slow death. His body isn’t dying all at once, but day by day, bit by bit. So, she’s gradually taking over the things his body has died to and is unable to handle any more. And, biblically, that’s not just OK, that is being a faithful, godly helper.

If she came to me for counsel, I’d advise her to keep doing what she’s doing. If her husband has moments of lucidity in which she can tell he’s making a reasonable decision or request, she should certainly submit to that. If her husband made non-sinful decisions before he became ill, she should continue to submit to and carry out those decisions*. But otherwise, she should continue to love and serve him the best she can, and that includes gradually taking over what he can no longer do.

*(Thank you to “hiltonjp5c174e0fe6” for her comment below on 10/8/25, which reminded me of this.)

Are Christian Americans ALWAYS supposed to back Israel? The people of Israel now may not even be Jesus believing Christians or even God believing Jews. Should we support everything they say and do, just because they live in the country? I’m not implying anything, one way or another, but it seems a lot of Christians say, “we back Israel so we will be blessed” and it sometimes seems like a blind backing.

Much has been written and said in the last hundred years or so about Israel, eschatology, end times prophecy, and so on, but sometimes it gets a little complicated and convoluted. I think there might be a simpler way to look at things.

First, I would have to ask: What does it mean for a Christian individual in 2025, who’s not a politician or a pastor, to “back Israel”? What does that look like in your daily life? Posting supportive things about Israel on social media? Voting for politicians who promise to create legislation and policies that are favorable to Israel? Those are really the only things I can think of. You and I have no power to do anything substantive to “back Israel” in our day to day lives, so this question is mostly moot for the majority of us as individuals.

Second, Christians handle and evaluate situations according to Scripture as they come up. If an issue comes up with Israel, we look at it biblically:

Did Israel’s government make a decision that the Bible clearly says is sin? Christians can’t support that. God certainly has never supported Israel’s sin just because they’re Israel. Just take a gander at how He responded to Israel’s sin in the Old Testament. He sent diseases, natural disasters, the armies of pagan nations to attack them, and finally exiled them for 70 years. In Jeremiah 7, God essentially tells them they can’t go out and commit a bunch of abominations and then expect Him to deliver them.

Did Israel’s government make a decision that doesn’t conflict with God’s commands or biblical principles? Then we evaluate the wisdom of it according to Scripture, and we have the freedom in Christ to support or not support that decision (whatever that might mean) accordingly.

I’m curious if replacing the preaching of God’s Word on the Lord’s Day during the morning worship service with a gospel music concert or a VBS commencement is biblically appropriate and/or considered to be our worship of Him? I am seeing a doctrinal shift toward the progressive left in some areas of my local church, and I’m burdened and heartbroken as I pray for God to make clear what I perceive as concerns and how I can glorify Him in this matter.

I’m so sorry. I know firsthand what it’s like to be in a good church that goes bad. It is heartbreaking and stressful.

Scripture doesn’t give us a line by line order of service to follow for the worship service, but that doesn’t mean anything goes, either. Typically, churches follow either the regulative principle of worship (RPW) or the normative principle of worship (NPW). The NPW is the idea that we can do anything in the worship service that isn’t prohibited in Scripture. The RPW basically says that we are only to do things in the worship service that are prescribed in Scripture: preaching the Word, worshiping God through song, praying, giving offerings, and so on.

Now, you’ll notice that God commands both the preaching of the Word and singing in His church, but He doesn’t specify how much time we’re to devote to each. However, when we look at the overall picture of the church that the New Testament presents, it’s easy to see that the preaching and teaching of the Word should be central as a general rule.

That being said, it is my opinion that it’s perfectly OK for a doctrinally sound church to occasionally (maybe a couple of times a year) have a service in which the music portion of the worship service is longer than the preaching portion, as long as the Word is being proclaimed through the music.

For example, my church usually holds a worship service a couple of weeks before Christmas called “Lessons and Carols”. Scriptures pertaining to Christ’s incarnation are alternated with Christmas carols and hymns that echo those Scriptures. That takes up most of the service. At the end, my pastor gives a briefer than normal gospel presentation / sermon.

I think something like that or a Christmas or Easter cantata is fine.

I would not agree that it would be appropriate to replace the sermon with a “gospel music concert” (if, by that, you mean a singer/group comes in and gives a performance) or a VBS commencement, to the exclusion of the sermon. Neither a concert-style performance nor a commencement program are elements of worship prescribed in Scripture. And if you’re seeing other doctrinal problems alongside these things, it’s probably indicative of the overall declining spiritual health of your church. Time to make an appointment with the pastor, and kindly and lovingly express your concerns.

I pray your pastor will listen, and I hope you won’t need this, but just in case you do, you can always find the Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Holidays (Other), Mailbag

The Mailbag: Resources for Pastor Appreciation Month

Michelle Lesley

Originally published September 30, 2019

Do you have any suggestions for things my church can do for our pastors during Pastor Appreciation Month?

October is Pastor Appreciation Month (PAM). It always sneaks up on me, so big thank you’s to the reader who wrote in with a question related to PAM and jogged my terrible memory. We don’t want to forget our wonderful pastors!

I ran the articles below last week, so today is a bit of a review, plus some additional information. So you have the whole month of October to implement any of these ideas that would be a fit for your pastors and your church, and most of them require very little planning time.

Top 10 Ways to Appreciate Your Pastors During Pastor Appreciation Month

“I’m so glad somebody thought up the idea of Pastor Appreciation Month and made it a thing. If you’ve never been a pastor (or been married to one), it’s difficult to adequately convey just how simultaneously challenging, joyful, devastating, frustrating, and fulfilling it can be. If you have a good pastor, who rightly divides God’s Word and is a man of godly character, you are very blessed. Here are ten ways you can show your pastors your gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement…”

Words Fitly Spoken:
11 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor

“Are you thankful for your pastor and a church that rightly handles God’s word? Are you telling anybody you’re thankful? Are you telling your pastor? Here are eleven ways you can encourage your pastor…”

7 Ways to Encourage Your Minister of Music

“The pastor isn’t the only person on your church’s staff who needs your support. So does your minister of music. And, having been married to one for over twenty years, I can tell you there aren’t many articles out there letting you know how church members can encourage their ministers of music. Ready to show some love? Here are seven ways you can be an encouragement to your minister of music…”

Is it OK if I print out and copy one (or more) of these articles?

Yes! You are always welcome to print out and make as many copies as you like of any article, Bible study, etc., you find here at the blog. (My article, Top 10 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor might make a nice bulletin insert during PAM.) All I ask is that you not change the content of any article, and that you stick my name (Michelle Lesley) and web address (MichelleLesley.com) on there somewhere. I’ve explained the reasons for this as well as tips for printing articles here (3rd section).

Just a few more points about PAM:

All three of these articles make this point, but I want to reiterate it here. If you’re going to do a big hoopla for PAM, please be sure all efforts are coordinated, none of your pastors are left out, and that there isn’t a huge discrepancy in the gifts you present various staff members (e.g. you get the pastor a new car and the minister of music gets a Hallmark card).

My husband was once on staff at a church as minister of music. There were only two other staff members, the pastor and the youth pastor. At the end of worship service one Sunday in October, the congregation as a whole ceremoniously presented the pastor with a gift for PAM. Then some of the youth called the youth pastor up to the front and presented him with a gift for PAM from the youth group and their parents. And nothing was said about, or done for, my husband. It was extremely discouraging to him, not because he didn’t get a gift, but because he felt ignored and unappreciated. Make sure you handle PAM sensitively and appropriately. You don’t want what started out as an act of encouragement to end up discouraging any of your pastors.

If you get your pastor a book or decide to send him to a conference, be sure to vet the author, speakers, and conference organization for sound doctrine first. I would recommend books and materials by any of the men listed at the Recommended Bible Teachers tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Some super, doctrinally sound conferences you might consider: the G3 Conference, Shepherds’ Conference, a Founders Conference, one of Ligonier’s Conferences, or a smaller regional or local conference. (And if you do decide to send him to a conference, make sure he’s actually able to attend before purchasing anything that’s non-refundable.)

Don’t just encourage and appreciate your pastors during the month of October. They need it all year long! If your church can’t afford to do something big and expensive for PAM (or even if it can) make October the kick-off month for a year full of encouragement for your pastors – have church members commit to pray regularly for your pastors from this October to next October (and then have them re-up next year!), make October the dedicated month for church members to sign up to serve your pastors in some way during each of the next 12 months. (Maybe this year various families sign up to bring each of the pastors a meal a month. Next year, maybe it’s monthly yard work or babysitting or house cleaning, etc.)

Let’s be sure to appreciate and encourage our pastors during PAM and all year long!

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.