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A New Addition: Biblical Counseling Resources

If you’ll scroll up to the top of this page, you’ll see a new addition to my resource tabs – the one that says Biblical Counseling Resources.

Often, women write to me needing help with difficult and complex life circumstances. It would be neither ethical nor effective for me to try to assist them via e-mail. They need someone who can sit down with them face to face for the long haul and help them walk through the situation biblically. A good biblical counselor can be a Godsend in situations like these.

So, what is biblical counseling? How can someone find a biblical counselor? Interested in training to become a biblical counselor? It’s all at the new resource tab, but I need your help.

Myย Searching for a new church? resource tab has been very successful in “matchmaking” readers with doctrinally sound churches, and that has been, in no small part, thanks to your recommendations of good churches. So once again, I’d like to ask for your help – this time, to build a list of recommended biblical counselors.

If your doctrinally sound church offers biblical counseling or you know of a good parachurch biblical counseling ministry you’d like to recommend, please explore the new tab (to see whether it’s already listed) and then add your recommendation to the comments section below.

If you’d like to make a recommendation, please be advised:

โ€ขThe recommendation must be for aย biblical counselor or counseling ministry. Recommendations for Christian counselors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, life coaches, etc. will not be accepted.

โ€ขThe biblical counselor must have been trained and certified by a reputable biblical counseling organization or seminary.

โ€ขYou must include the website of the church, counselor, or counseling ministry you are recommending. Recommendations not including websites will not be considered.

If you know of any biblical counseling certification training programs or doctrinally sound Christian universities or seminaries that offer degree programs in biblical counseling, check to see if yours is listed, and, if not, recommend away!

Thank you for helping me help hurting women get the resources they need.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Breast cancer resources, What does “cruciform” mean?, Yoga-ta find a new church?…)

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

In these potpourri editions of The Mailbag, I’d also like to address the three questions I’m most commonly asked:

“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”

Try these links: 
Popular False Teachers /
 Recommended Bible Teachers / search bar
Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring It Out on Your Own
(Do keep bringing me names, though. If I get enough questions about a particular teacher, I’ll probably write an article on her.)

“Can you recommend a good women’s Bible study?”

No. Here’s why:
The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?
The Mailbag: โ€œWe need to stop relying on canned studies,โ€ doesnโ€™t mean, โ€œWe need to rely on doctrinally sound canned studies.โ€.

“You shouldn’t be warning against [popular false teacher] for [X,Y,Z] reason!”

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objections


Should women serve as the worship leader/minister of music of a church?

No.

If I answer a question in a co-ed Bible study/Sunday School class, am I “teaching” men in violation of Scripture?

No.

Is it biblical for a woman to lead a prayer during the worship service?

It is not technically a violation of the letter of 1 Timothy 2:12, but I would discourage it for other reasons.

Iโ€™ve heard people say itโ€™s OK for women to preach or teach the Bible to co-ed groups as long as they are doing so under their pastorโ€™s and/or husbandโ€™s authority. Is this true?

No.

I’ve received the first three of these questions again recently, so I thought it would be a perfect time to take the opportunity to remind everyone of a little resource I think might be helpful for you: my article Rock Your Role FAQs. The first question is answered in #16, the second in #4, and the third in #15. I just added the fourth question to the article. It is #20. And don’t forget to read the other articles in my Rock Your Role series, too!


Do you have any book recommendations for a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer?

Let me just start my answer by saying two things. First, I’ve taken a moment to pray for you (or whoever the woman is), that God will help you through this difficult journey and bring you comfort and peace. (Readers, will you also please take a moment to pray?)

Second, it drives me absolutely batty when I ask for a recommendation on social media for a Christian book on a particular topic and people answer in a joking, or smart aleck, or holier than thou way: “the Bible.” Obviously, the Bible is our first “go to” for every issue in the Christian life, but sometimes we need a book that can also teach us about the Scriptures that pertain to our issue.

So please understand that the first part of my answer is not meant to sound flippant or self-righteous, but to assist you in finding a good place in Scripture to park yourself. And my recommendation is going to be to get into Psalms and stay there for a while. You might also find that praying the Psalms back to God is very helpful. There is a great deal of comfort, peace, and strength for trying times in that book.

As for books outside the Bible, I have not read it myself, but I have heard trustworthy people say that John Piper’sยน booklet Don’t Waste Your Cancer is very good. You may wish to check out Joni Eareckson Tada’sยฒ Diagnosed with Breast Cancer: Life After Shock. Joni is a breast cancer survivor and has written a number of books on suffering that you might also find helpful, though most are related to disability, not cancer. Additionally, I would recommend anything John MacArthur has written on the topic of suffering, such as The Power of Suffering, as well as anything at Ligonier. If you’d like something short and free, I’ve written several articles on suffering that will point you to a variety of Scriptures you may find helpful.

You may wish to keep an eye on the comments section of this article, as other readers will probably also have some good recommendations.

(Note to readers recommending resources: I believe the lady who sent in the question is looking for theological resources on how to cope with breast cancer biblically, not medical/holistic/other treatment resources. I’m not qualified to dispense health advice, so those types of recommendations will not be posted.)

ยนJohn Piper is not someone I normally proactively recommend. I’ve explained why HERE.
ยฒOver the years I have received three or four questions about Joni’s actions and theology, but she is generally regarded as doctrinally sound. As with any Christian author, read discerningly.

I have a question regarding the Cruciform Conference that you’ll be speaking at. There is only one person Iโ€™ve heard use that term โ€œcruciformโ€ before and it was Ann Voskamp. What does it mean exactly? Also curious what youโ€™ll be addressing there?

I actually had a couple of ladies ask me this question after I announced that I would be speaking at the Cruciform Conference this fall. I am so glad you asked rather than wondering if it had something to do with false doctrine!

The word “cruciform” simply means “cross-shaped“. I’m really excited to be speaking at a “cross-shaped” conference, where all of the teaching will center around the cross – we can’t let false teachers have all the good words! :0)

Also, lest anyone mistakenly think I will be teaching men at this co-ed conference, I will not. I will not be teaching any of the main sessions. I will be teaching two breakout sessions for women:

Faithfully Fighting Feminism:
Fighting the Good Fight by Walking Out Biblical Womanhood
and
Hooked on a Feeling: Living by God’s Word Instead of Our Emotions

Get your tickets quickly since space is already filling up! (This would make a great Father’s Day present!)


My church recently started having yoga classes. I spoke to my pastor about it and he didnโ€™t see a problem with it because they use Bible verses and don’t use the lingo typically used in yoga. But they use the word yoga to promote their classes. Do I find a new church?

For those unfamiliar with the theological issues related to yoga, or “Christianized” yoga, as this reader’s church seems to be using, please see my article The Mailbag: Should Christians do yoga?

Since I don’t know all of the issues and circumstances at your church, I can’t definitively tell you whether or not you should leave this church.

If this is the only theologically problematic issue at your church and there are no other doctrinally sound churches within reasonable driving distance of your home, I would lean towards recommending that you stay where you are and wait out this class (it probably won’t last forever), praying your kneecaps off in the meantime, and kindly and gently explaining your biblical reasons for not attending the class to anyone who asks.

If there are multiple theological problems at your church (and I suspect there might be if your pastor sees nothing wrong with yoga) and there are other doctrinally sound churches in your area, I would lean more towards exploring those other options for a church. The Searching for a new church? tab at the top of this page may be helpful for you.

This is something you will need to pray for wisdom about, and possibly seek counsel on from a mature Christian friend. Of course, if you are married, you and your husband will need to discuss and pray about it together, and you will need to respect his final decision on the issue.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Podcast Appearances

Voice of Reason Radio Podcast Guest Appearance

Voice of Reason Radio

 

It was such a pleasure to be a recent guest on the Voice of Reason Radio podcast. Chris Honholz, Rich Story, and I chatted about biblical womanhood, women’s ministry, Beth Moore, and more!

Voice of Reason Radio

Click here to listen in…

subscribe to the Voice of Reason Radio podcast, and don’t forget to follow VOR on Facebook and Twitter!


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a womenโ€™s conference or church event? Click the โ€œSpeaking Engagementsโ€ tab at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat!

1&2 Timothy Bible Study

1 & 2 Timothy: Lesson 6

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Read 1 Timothy 5

Questions to Consider

If you have completed theย Imperishable Beauty study, you may wish to look over your notes from lessons 10, 13, and 15, since we examined part of today’s passage (1 Timothy 5) in those lessons.

1. Notice the section heading at the beginning of this chapter and be reminded of the purpose and audience of this epistle. Who is the individual Paul is primarily addressing? What is his position in the church? What do these instructions pertain to?

2. How does God instruct Timothy (and every pastor) to treat the older/younger men and older/younger women he shepherds? (1-2) How do these instructions, if followed, benefit and protect the pastor, the church at large, and individual church members? Give a practical example of how a pastor could treat an older man, a younger man, an older woman, and a younger woman the way this passage instructs.

What does this passageย not mean? For example – what if an older man is living in open sin? Does verse 1 mean the pastor should not confront him about that? What if a pastor is single and he and a woman five years his junior desire to get married? Does verse 2b prohibit that? Is there anything else this passage doesย not mean? Explain your answers with applicable Scripture.

3. Examine verses 3-16. What is the two word phrase used in both verse 3 and verse 16, that “bookends” this passage? Make a list of the things that qualify a woman as “truly” a “widow”. (4-16a) Now, go back over your list and highlight the character traits and activities that a godly woman will be exemplifying or practicing, and the ungodly traits and activities she will avoid, even before she becomes a widow. How can you continue to, or begin to, exemplify or practice each of these godly traits and activities and avoid the ungodly ones?

Compare the list of personal requirements and character qualifications of those who are “truly widows” (3-16) with the list of personal requirements and character qualifications for pastors and deacons in 3:1-13. What are the similarities and differences? How does this speak to the necessity of these men and women leading by setting a godly example in their character and practices for the rest of the church, and the rest of the church following their example? Explain how the role of leading by example is a vital role of leadership womenย must carry out in the church. How can womenย and men in the church learn from a godly woman who sets a good example?

What are the examples God gives of things womenย should be busying themselves with (14,16) in order not to fall into sin and set a bad example (11-13,15)?

4. Note how many times Paul speaks of the family’s duty to care for their widowed family members in 3-16. What are the various responsibilities of the family that he mentions? How are godly women particularly well suited to this kind of ministry? (16) What is the role of the pastor (7,9,11) and the church (16b) in this passage?

5. In 1 Timothy 2, (lesson 3, link above) God explained the two ways women may not minister in the church. What are those two ways? In 5:3-16, God lists many ways womenย can andย must minister in the church. Make a list of each of those ways, and give a practical example of how a woman could carry out each of those ways in the church today (ex: What might “washing the feet of the saints” look like in the church today?) while still being obedient to God’s instructions for women in chapter 2.

6. Examine verses 17-20. Explain the church’s responsibilities regarding godly elders who righteously carry out their duties (17-18) as well as the church’s responsibilities regarding elders who persist in sin (19-20). (Use your cross-references.) Compare the instructions in verses 19-20 to the current idea in some corners of evangelicalism of “touch not My anointed“. How would you refute this false teaching from verses 19-20?

7. Explain the meaning of the charge God gives in verse 21, and the gravity and weightiness it conveys to pastors. Make a mental note of this, as this kind of charge will come up again in 1&2 Timothy.

8. After the weighty charge of verse 21, do the rapid fire instructions in verses 22-25 seem like a “P.S.” (and a P.P.S., a P.P.P.S, etc.) to a letter? Explain each instruction and why it was important to Paul and to the Holy Spirit to make sure it was included.


Homework

Think about a recent, sinful, evangelical “current event” (or an incident from your own church) you’re familiar with. For example: the egalitarian movement, a pastor falling into sin and having to step down, sexual abuse in the church, pastors spiritually abusing (intimidation, anger, threats, manipulation, etc.) their church members or congregation, false doctrine in the church, etc.

How could obedience to one or more of God’s instructions to pastors and to the church (from today’s lesson or previous lessons) have partially or completely prevented this incident?


Suggested Memory Verse

Poetry, Sanctification

Throwback Thursday ~ How a Little Acorn Helped Reassure a Nut Like Me

It’s a midweek mixup! :0) Due to my family’s schedule this week, I’m changing up the blog schedule just a little. Throwback Thursday will be today, and our 1 Peter Bible study lesson will be Thursday. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Originally published September 27, 2016

acorn-1030819_1280

There are two kinds of people in this world, throwers and savers (or hoarders, if your saving has breached the clinical level). I’m a thrower married to a saver, which means I have thrown out some stuff I later wished I’d kept, and my husband has saved a lot of stuff we haven’t used in ages and probably never will. But, recently, I came across something I’m really glad I kept all these years.

I was going through a box of old papers, happily doing my “thrower” thing, when I discovered a manilla folder marked, in my handwriting, “Michelle’s Misc. Creative Writing.” Whatever it was, I didn’t remember saving the folder, nor what it might contain. I opened it up to find a two inch thick sheaf of, well…my miscellaneous writings from years gone by. Sermon notes, creative writing assignments and essays for English classes, poems, song lyrics, short stories, even what looked like the manuscript to a devotional I’d started on.

Fortunately, I had dated most of the papers, so I could see that the bulk of them were written when I was between the ages of about 14 to 21. As I leafed through pages of adolescent script alternating with dot matrix printing, I started noticing a common thread. Nearly all of this writing was about God, faith, the Bible, worship, wanting to know Him more. To be sure, the faith was childlike (if not downright childish), and the theology was often immature and somewhat unbiblical.

But it was there. And all these years I’d wondered whether or not that faith had existed back then at all.

You see, I was raised in a Christian home, and, although I was most definitely a depraved little wretch, my outward behavior was fairly decent compared with some of the other kids my age. I got good grades, never had behavior problems in school, was at church every time the doors were open, never tried sex, drugs, cigarettes, crime, or anything else teens sometimes get into. Overall, I was your basic goodie two shoes. So, when I prayed a prayer for salvation at age 12, there was no great big radical lightning bolt change in my life. Things continued pretty much as usual. Had my heart changed? Looking back all those years later as an adult with terrible recollective abilities, I couldn’t really remember.

But as I skimmed through page after page of longing for God, love for God, wanting to please God, something I told a reader not long ago -who was concerned she might not be saved – hit me like a ton of bricks:

Lost people don’t have that kind of “want to.”

I didn’t have all my doctrine straight or walk in Christian maturity, and I wouldn’t have known an apologetic from an apostate, but I wanted God. I loved Him as best I knew how at the time. I had that “want to.” I was saved. God had used a dusty box of old papers to reassure me and put those doubts to rest. It was one of those precious moments alone with the Lord that you never forget.

So to sort of celebrate that little moment in my walk with the Lord, I wanted to share with you one of the poems I found in that folder. It was undated, but I think I wrote it when I was in high school or college. Now, I’m just going to warn you up front, it’s long and it’s lame and it’s (a)corny, and some of the cadence is off and so is the doctrine, and it just plain needs a lot of editing. But I had a good laugh over it, and I thought you might, too. (Hint- it’s funnier if you read it out loud.)

I Am a Little Acorn

I am a little acorn,
A fact that’s plain to see,
But remember that the might oak
Was once a nut like me.

When I was a baby bud,
I burst forth from a limb,
I grew a little every day,
Out from my little stem.

As I grew older day by day,
An identity crisis hit me.
I searched my heart and searched my soul
To find out just what I should be.

I did not want to be a nut.
I cried, “I cant! I won’t!”
Because sometimes you feel like a nut,
Sometimes you don’t.

I tried to be a button,
And a rolling tumbleweed.
I tried to be a jelly bean,
But still did not succeed.

Oprah, Geraldo, Sally, and Phil*
All let me spill my guts.
“Something other than an acorn?” they asked,
“You can’t! You must be nuts!”

My fame and fortune quickly spread,
I was known both far and wide.
But no one knew my secret dark,
I was lost and scared inside.

Then finally, one day, I turned to the Lord,
And cried out with all my might,
“Why, oh why, do I continue to fail?
Why won’t something go right?”

“Remember to whom you are speaking,” said He,
“I am the Great I Am,
But I’m also the rootย of David,
And the seedย of Abraham.”

“From small beginnings come great things,
This fact is tried and true,
The mighty oak could never be,
Without an acorn like you.”

“All are given different gifts,
And must do as best they can,
To find a way to channel them
According to God’s plan.”

“So cheer up little acorn,
And learn the secret known by few:
Be content with what you’re given,
And let God work through you.”

“I’ll be the best acorn ever!” said he.
“I’ll do as God has led.”
Then standing bold and brave and tall,
The acorn proudly said:

“I am a little acorn,
A fact that’s plain to see,
But remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like me.”

(*You’ve probably heard of Oprah. Geraldo Rivera, Sally Jessie Raphael, and Phil Donohue all used to host talk shows, too.)

Don’t despair if you’re still a little acorn in your faith. You keep pursuing that “want to” for God, and He’ll grow you into a mighty oak in Christ.

How do I know? Because He’s doing just that for a nut like me. ๐ŸŒฐ