Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Have you ever noticed how easily people get offended these days? We have to watch what we say, wear, and display. We have to be careful about how (or if) we express our political and religious views. A mere, “you look nice today” can be the beginning of a lawsuit.
Even as Christians, it’s easy to get sucked in to wearing our feelings on our sleeves and taking offense to everything that rubs us the wrong way.
Even as Christians, it’s easy to get sucked in to wearing our feelings on our sleeves and taking offense to everything that rubs us the wrong way. Certainly, there are important, biblical issues that we need to take a firm stand on in society, in the church, and at home, but for those of us who follow Christ, most personal offenses do not require a confrontation. Most personal offenses demand that we extend grace and love to the offender.
That’s a bitter pill for the flesh to swallow if you’re anything like me. My flesh wants revenge. My flesh wants justice and retribution to immediately prevail. My flesh wants that person to grovelingly admit he or she was wrong and beg for forgiveness. And I know it’s my carnal nature that wants those things because both Jesus’ teachings and His life stand in direct opposition to such desires:
The Pharisees insinuated that Jesus was of illegitimate birth and that his mother was promiscuous. They called Him a Samaritan – a racial epithet which, in that time, would have been on par with calling someone the “n-word” during the Civil Rights movement. And they called him demon-possessed – which called his mental health and intelligence into question. And all of these insults carried with them the overriding weightiness of calling Him unclean; someone under God’s judgment who deserved to be an outcast.
What did Jesus do? He didn’t retaliate. He used the offensive remarks to keep on trying to reach the hearts of the Pharisees – the offenders – with the gospel.
Even on the cross, after being falsely accused, verbally abused, wrongly arrested, hauled in front of a kangaroo court, and illegally put to death, Jesus’ words for His foes were not pronouncements of judgment and wrath, but, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
The calling of Christ is not a calling to “be carried to the skies on flowery beds of ease” but a calling to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily, and give up our lives for Him.
That’s a pretty tough act to follow. But then, the calling of Christ is not a calling to “be carried to the skies on flowery beds of ease” but a calling to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily, and give up our lives for Him. That precious calling may not end up with you being crucified for your faith, but surely it can start by ignoring that tiny arrow whizzing past your head as you love the person aiming the bow at you.
Take the offense. Overlook it. Extend grace. Forgive. Bless. Walk in the way of your Master.
What are some good ways to extend grace when someone offends you?
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
I have a friend who is living with someone she is not married to. She professes to be a Christian. I don’t see or talk to her much as she lives a couple of hours away. I have been invited to spend the weekend with her. I don’t want to go as I don’t want her to think I condone her living situation. How do I graciously bring up this violation of God’s instructions to us regarding sexual immorality?
I’m so sorry your friend’s sin has put you in this difficult situation. I know it’s uncomfortable and awkward, and you’re probably afraid you’re going to offend her and maybe even lose your relationship with her as a result of this situation.
But I want you (and all of my readers who are in awkward situations similar to this) to remember that your friend is the one at fault here for all of this awkwardness and potential hurt feelings, not you. She caused this situation by her sin, and if she doubles down on that sin when you talk to her about it, she will also be at fault for any other negative results that transpire, not you. That’s what sin does. It ruins everything it touches, it impacts areas of our lives we never dreamed it would, and it affects our relationships with the people we love.
I agree it would probably be wisest not to stay overnight with your friend and her shack up. It will seem to her as though you have no problem with her sinful living arrangement. However, accepting or declining the invitation may not be your only two options. What about the possibilities of either making it a day trip (and not spending the night at all), or accepting the invitation, but staying in a hotel or somewhere else besides under her roof? That way, you could spend time with your friend and have the opportunity to call her to repentance, face to face.
This would also give you the chance to share the gospel with her. I know she professes to be a Christian, but it’s important that we believe God over sinful human beings, and God says:
And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God has been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.
1 John 2:3-6
Yes, Christians fall into sin, but Christians also repent. We do not gleefully jump into the pool of sin and swim around in it for extended periods of time. We hate our sin. We feel guilt and conviction over our sin. And we repent. That’s one of the fruits of genuine conversion. Likewise, living in sin without conviction, repentance, etc., is the fruit of someone who is lost, regardless of what she might claim, because God says so.
I would encourage you to go and spend some time with your friend (without spending the night at her house) if at all possible. The Lord has put you – someone who cares for her and knows the Truth – into her life to be salt and light to her.
How to do it graciously? Reassure her of your love for her and that if you didn’t truly love her, you wouldn’t be addressing this with her. And then just tell her the truth. She claims to be a Christian. She’s living in direct violation of God’s Word. She needs to repent and change her ways.
Saying all of this graciously and kindly doesn’t mean she won’t get mad at you and break off the relationship. She might do just that because she loves her sin more than she loves you and certainly more than she loves Christ. No amount of graciousness and kindness on your part can prevent that.
And as strong, godly Christian women, we have to be OK with that. We serve a Savior who was despised and rejected by men. Is a disciple above his teacher or a slave above his master?
“A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!
“Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for an assarion? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
“Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.
“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.
“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.
Matthew 10:24-39
The gospel divides. And we are always called to stand with Jesus on His side of the divide.
I am wondering if you lead or have a ladies discernment class/group at your church? How do you handle discernment in your own church – formally or informally? The pushback I’m getting as I clear out our library (I’m the recent Library Chairwoman) has been a surprise to me. I’m wondering if I need to request to my Pastor to start a discernment group either as a Sunday School offering or as a study. I have no idea what resources outside of the Bible I would need, and any direction/ suggestions you could give would be great! 💜 Thank you so much for all you do!
It’s always a challenge when the pastor wants to move the church in a more discerning direction, and sometimes the pushback isn’t pleasant.
We do not have standing groups or classes at my church specifically centered around discernment. It’s just part of our regular sermons, Sunday School lessons, and discipleship classes whenever it comes up in the biblical text we’re studying, just like forgiveness or patience or prayer or any other biblical principle.
But if your church has really had no instruction in discernment, it’s probably best to spend some focused time on it. It would be best and most biblical if your pastor took the lead on this. It’s in his job description / qualifications, after all:
He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
Titus 1:9
It’s up to him how he addresses it – a sermon series, a discipleship seminar, maybe invite Justin Peters in to teach, or whatever. My only suggestion would be that it shouldn’t be framed as a “discernment group“. That makes it sound like a special group only for those who are interested (like a knitting group or a bowling group), when this is an important biblical principle and command for every Christian, “interested” or not. Everyone in your church needs to be instructed in discernment. It’s not optional.
Once your pastor decides how he’d like to handle If you’d like to undergird with the women what he’s doing with the whole congregation, I have two suggestions:
◦ I’ve written a Bible study on discernment. It’s called Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment, and you can find it (along with all the other studies I’ve written) at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. All of my studies are free, available 24/7, and suitable for groups or individuals.
◦ How about making it fun and letting me do the heavy lifting? If you’d like to set up a women’s conference at your church, I’d be delighted to come and teach on the topic of discernment (other topics available too!). Just go back up to the blue menu bar at the top of this page and click on the Speaking Engagements tab for all the details.
One more piece of advice that’s probably a little too late for you but might spare another reader and/or her pastor: the church library can be a bit of a golden calf for some church members, and for various reasons. When a solid pastor friend of mine decided to finally pull the trigger on cleaning out his church’s years’ neglected library of all the fluff and false doctrine, he went about it in a very wise way.
He told none of the church members about it. He went into the library, assessed it, and assigned one of the other pastors’ wives (who was discerning and had been itching to get in there and clean house) to the task. He told her what he wanted removed and told her to come to him with anything else questionable. It was done quickly, quietly, and most importantly, with little to no pushback. That’s what I’d recommend.
You’re welcome! I’m glad that’s a helpful resource.
Typically, when this kind of request is made, it’s about a pastor, author, etc. that I’ve never heard of. And let me just say, I’m thrilled – THRILLED – that there are so many good ones out there that I haven’t heard of most of them. There are good, doctrinally sound teachers out there, it’s just that most of them are not well known. Don’t be discouraged, thinking there’s nothing out there but false teachers!
But just as a general answer to this question, no, I probably won’t add the person you’re suggesting. The people on the recommended teachers list are people I feel comfortable proactively recommending because I know them personally and/or I’ve personally listened to them long enough (think: years) to know, from first hand experience, that they’re solid.
You’re welcome to keep suggesting people. I might listen to them. But if I do add them, it’s going to be a while.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
1969: Man landed on the moon…Woodstock…Sesame Street debuted on TV…John MacArthur began his pastorate at Grace Community Church…and I was born.
All of those events of 1969 turn 56 this year – and on Sunday (April 27) so do I! And I’d like to ask you to help me celebrate by considering partnering financially with me in ministry.
I love serving the women of the body of Christ through this blog. From writing about current issues in the church that you have questions about, to researching false teachers, to helping you find a new church, to the 20 Bible studies I’ve written, and so much more, there is no way I’d rather spend my “leftover” time and energy after serving my family and my church.
I don’t draw a salary from this ministry, charge membership fees, or sell merchandise. All of my materials on the blog are available to you and your church at no charge, and I like that just fine and dandy. That being said, my family lives frugally, primarily on my husband’s modest income, and we incur financial needs from time to time.
If you, your family, or your church have been blessed by my work and you’d like to be a blessing to me and my family in return on an ongoing, occasional, or one time basis, there are two ways you can do that:
As a Proverbs 31 woman and stay at home wife and mom, I try to “look well to the ways of my household.” Unfortunately, I know nothing about wool, flax, or weaving, so speaking engagements are the “wool, flax, and weaving” that help contribute to providing for my family by way of equitable speaking fees.
Other than occasional free will donations from followers, speaking engagements provide the only income I earn from this ministry. I kind of think of it as my part time dream job.
So how about hiring me? The women of your church and surrounding area get a wonderful weekend of doctrinally sound fellowship, encouragement, and edification around the Word. I get the joy of sharing with them. Your church or parachurch organization gets to bless and support my family. It’s a win-win-win!
First time planning an event? Never fear! I’ve got lots of tips and helpful hints to help make things easier.
If you’d like to make a financial donation, please click on the PayPal, Patreon, or Cash App link below.
Anything from “Go buy a gallon of milk” to “Go buy a house” will be much appreciated and well stewarded by my husband and me. We ask only that you meet your own family’s and church’s needs first before considering making a gift to us.
I would be most grateful for any amount you’d like to contribute, but in celebration of my fifty-sixth birthday, how about some fun amounts like…
$56 (for my age)
$27 or $427.69 (for my birthday, April 27)
$19.69 or $1,969 (for the year I was born)
$25 or $33 or $71 (or whatever age you think I look – I promise I won’t be offended! :0)
(Normally, I send a thank you note to donors, but Cash App does not provide any contact information and only lets me respond to donors with an emoji. Please know that I am deeply thankful for your kindness and generosity and promise to steward your gift well.)
If you would like to donate but you’re uncomfortable giving electronically and would prefer to send a check, my suggestion would be to ask a friend or loved one who is comfortable with electronic transactions to make your donation for you via one of the apps above, and then reimburse that person with cash or a check. I’m sorry that’s kind of a hassle, but I’m sure you understand that in the world we live in, I can’t give out my mailing address to strangers on the internet.
Thank you so much for your kindness and generosity!
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
This follower responded to a Facebook post of mine encouraging women to avoid Tara Leigh Cobble…
I have been reading The Bible Recap and what I have loved was [Tara Leigh Cobble] explaining the Scriptures to me after, which is helpful. I struggle with understanding Scripture and need it broken down for me. Can you recommend something like this for me?
I’m so glad you asked! I can actually recommend something much better! You may have already done some of these, but I want to answer this question for anyone who might happen across this article.
📖 Make sure you have been genuinely born again. Genuine Believers are indwelt by the Holy Spirit who illumines (supernaturally helps us understand) Scripture to us. First Corinthians 2:14 tells us that’s why lost people (even false converts – those who think they’re saved, but aren’t) aren’t able to understand Scripture. Carefully and prayerfully consider the Scriptures and materials at the What Must I Do to Be Saved tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page), and make sure you’ve repented and believed the biblical gospel.
But a natural man does not accept the depths of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually examined.
1 Corinthians 2:14
📖 Make sure you’re joined to a doctrinally sound local church. (Check out the Searching for a new church? tab if you need help.) Another reason someone might not understand Scripture is that she’s not in a good, solid, Bible believing, Bible teaching church, so she’s not being taught Scripture or how to understand it.
📖 Make sure you have a trustworthy translation of the Bible that’s easy for you to understand. My article The Mailbag: Which Bible Do You Recommend? has some helpful hints for translations to consider, and to avoid.
📖 Get plugged in to your church and attend faithfully (every Sunday morning at a minimum unless you’re sick or otherwise absolutely can’t go; preferably also Sunday night and midweek if your church has services those days). Sit under good preaching from your pastor, and join a Sunday School or Bible study class. Take every opportunity to study and learn Scripture at your church where your pastor and elders can have oversight over the Bible study classes you’re in to make sure they don’t go wonky.
📖 Ask a godly, older woman to disciple you according to Titus 2:3-5. If you don’t know someone like that at your church, ask your pastor for help.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,so that they may instruct the young women in sensibility: to love their husbands, to love their children,to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be slandered.
Titus 2:3-5
📖 Put aside The Bible Recap and any other “canned” studies (Bible study books, workbooks, programs, etc.), you’re using, and study straight from the text of Scripture in a systematic way. If you’ve never done that before, check out some of the studies I’ve written at the Bible Studies tab. My studies are designed to teach you how to study straight from the Bible in a “learn by doing” sort of way. Try a couple (they’re all free), and once you get the hang of it, you won’t have to rely on anyone else’s studies – even mine – any more. Or, you could just pick up your Bible, choose a book, begin with chapter 1, verse 1, and study it through to the end.
📖 Pray before you study. Start your Bible study time by asking God to help you understand His Word, to speak to you from it, to learn what He wants you to learn from it, and to obey its instruction. This is a God who loves you and wants you to know Him. He has told you that you can ask for wisdom and understanding and He promises to give it to you. Asking God to help you understand His Word is a prayer He delights to answer.
📖 As you’re studying your Bible, listening to the sermons at church, and learning in your Bible study classes, if you have a question about something, ask your pastor, elders, Bible study teacher, or the woman who’s discipling you.
The reason all of these things are better than a “canned” Bible study alternative to The Bible Recap is that all of these things I’ve outlined above are God’s plan for us to learn His Word. God’s plan is for us to learn His Word through the local church, not from strangers on the internet, in books, and so on. It’s fine to occasionally supplement what you’re learning in church and your personal Bible study time with a good book, podcast, or sermon (see the Recommended Bible Teachers, Authors, etc. tab for some suggestions), but your primary source of Bible teaching should be your local church.
Have you seen the movie King of Kings? Are you going to write a review of it?
Haven’t seen it. Not planning to see it or write a review of it unless God picks me up by the hair and plunks me down into a theater that’s showing it (for free – I’m not going to financially support it by buying a ticket).
However, if you’re looking for a trustworthy review, I would highly recommend this one from my friend, Pastor Gabriel Hughes…
or the TLDL version – his two minute WWUTT video review (sorry, can’t redact what some of y’all will consider a 2CV {second Commandment violation} on this one)…
…or this two part commentary and review from Wretched:
However, I did watch season 1 of the Amazon Prime series, House of David, because these “Bible” shows are just train wrecks I can’t seem to look away from. Here’s my mini-review (because I’m not writing a real review). Spoilers follow:
So far (that’s the focal phrase in this sentence) – although there are definitely some biblical issues with the content of the episodes (I didn’t look into any of the actors or any behind the scenes stuff. I just watched the show. And not super carefully. I needed something to watch while folding laundry.) – so far, it seems more biblically accurate than The Chosen. And, yeah, I realize that’s not saying much. And no, I don’t hold out any hope that it won’t get worse. And no, I don’t think they’re going to get the theology surrounding David as a type of Christ – or any other theological points – right.
The actor playing David is adorable, but by about the third episode (out of eight), I was done with his (or whoever dubbed it) whiny, nasally singing. I’ll be reaching for the mute button on that from here on out.
The general posture of animosity towards David from his brothers and father? I’ve read the biblical account a bunch of times, and I’ve never gotten that impression, have you?
Goliath: Turn the captions on because you’re not going to be able to understand a word he says.
Samuel: I like him, but what about a hair and beard cut? At least he doesn’t have a man bun. Yet.
Lots of visions in this show (David, Saul, etc.) that are mentioned nowhere in Scripture.
The way they’re portraying Saul’s mental problems (or whatever you want to call them), minus the weird apparitions of Amalek, are about the way I have always pictured them. Some theologians think Saul was bi-polar. I think it was either that or demon possession or oppression. Anyway, it seems true to life.
Goliath threw a spear and injured David before David killed him? Yeah… no. The text doesn’t say that. That’s your “artistic license” coming in to “improve” on a story that’s already perfect.
“What’s my purpose?” “Find your purpose.” Purpose, purpose, purpose. Is Rick Warren getting any royalties off this show? If not, he might want to look into that.
Greg Laurie wrote an accompanying devotional for the show. Miss me with that. I’m going to tell you like we told you with The Chosen devotionals / “Bible” studies: If you want a Bible study on this story, God already wrote it. Pick up your Bible and read it. That way you know you’re getting the truth.
What did I forget? Got specific questions? Comment below.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Death comes for us all, including false teachers and heretics.
And how do we find out, and express our feelings about, the deaths of evangelical celebrities? It used to be via the newspaper and around the water cooler. Now it’s on social media.
There are three typical social media responses when a false teacher dies: Her fans laud her and turn her into a virtual saint. A few who claim to be Christians dance on her grave in celebration. And doctrinally sound Christians are kind of left groping for how to respond, biblically. There’s a feeling of wanting to have compassion for the family who has lost a loved one while not appearing to endorse or approve of the deceased’s false teaching and sin merely because she has died.
So how can we respond biblically to the death of a false teacher?
1. Distinguish the Biblical Response from the Cultural Response
“Don’t speak ill of the dead.” Where is this idea taught in Scripture? I can’t find it anywhere, can you? Does that mean we should speak ill of the dead? Of course not, because we don’t find a command to do that in Scripture either. I’m just trying to point out that a lot of the notions we have about death and other issues in life don’t come from the Bible, they come from our culture, etiquette, tradition, etc. If we truly want to respond to a false teacher’s death – or do anything else, really – in a biblical way, we need to be able to separate what the Bible tells us to do from what culture and society tell us is the right thing to do. In all aspects of life, that ability has never been more crucial than it is now.
2. To Respond or Not to Respond; That Is the Question
There’s absolutely no biblical requirement for anyone to proffer an unsolicited public comment on the death of a false teacher. Or anyone else for that matter. Other than mentioning her name in this article, I have not publicly commented on the death of Rachel Held Evans for several reasons, though I found out about her passing shortly after it happened. My friends Gabe and Elizabethdid decide to comment on her death, and, in my opinion, both did a lovely job. Commenting or deciding not to comment can both be perfectly biblical.
The only time it’s really incumbent upon a Christian to speak to the issue of a false teacher’s death is when someone you know asks you about it directly. And even then, if the person seems to be overwrought with emotion, it might be wisest to simply postpone your comment until after a “cooling off” period has taken place.
3. How to Respond
Briefly. Because the longer your comment, the greater chance you will either slip into eulogizing the false teacher or, conversely, making unnecessarily inflammatory remarks that will only serve to stir the ire of her family and followers and will make you look like a jerk.
Gently. Because even the gentlest remark is going to pour salt into the wound of someone who’s grieving if you’re not outright praising the deceased. And though “Don’t speak ill of the dead” isn’t a biblical concept, if you’re addressing the followers of a false teacher, you’re probably not dealing with people who are going to split that biblical/cultural hair. If they were overly concerned about distinguishing biblical concepts from worldly concepts, they wouldn’t be following a false teacher in the first place. Be sensitive to their cultural mores of gentle speech in this instance or you surely won’t get a hearing.
Non-speculatively. Because you do not have God’s omniscience, and speculation can serve no helpful purpose. Is it possible God ended the false teacher’s life as judgment for her unbiblical teachings? Yes. It is also possible He ended her life for a completely different reason known only to Him. Is it likely she will be spending an eternity in Hell? Yes. But unless you were at her bedside listening to her blaspheme the name of the Lord with her final breath, you don’t know that for certain.
Evangelistically. Because the greatest thing that could come out of the false teacher’s death, or anyone’s really, is for someone whose ultimate hope was in the hopelessness of false doctrine to find her ultimate hope in Christ.
4. Prepare for Backlash
One of the reasons I intentionally chose not to comment on Rachel Held Evans’ death is that I knew I would receive tons of vitriolic, possibly even threatening, backlash from her disciples if I said anything about Rachel that wasn’t pure praise of her. At that moment in my week, due to various things going on in my life, I had neither the time nor the spiritual strength to deal with an onslaught like that. It’s not that I was afraid or didn’t know how to answer the barbs I’m sure I would have received, it’s just that it would have been a distraction from other things that were a higher priority in my life than responding to strangers about the death of another stranger.
If you choose to make a non-laudatory statement about the death of a false teacher, even if it’s gentle, compassionate, completely biblical, and annotated with Scripture, you must be prepared to be attacked by her followers. No matter how much the teacher claimed to be a Christian or how much her followers claim she helped them grow in the Lord, the fact of the matter is that the overwhelming majority of people who steadfastly follow, love, and defend false teachers over a long period of time are very likely not saved and will respond to your biblical remarks in the angry, emotional, often abusive way that can be characteristic of lost people.
This, in fact, happened to a Facebook friend of mine who has a growing platform. She made just such a gentle, compassionate, completely biblical statement on Facebook about Rachel Held Evans’ death. I would link to it except that she had to delete the statement because some of Rachel’s followers found pictures my friend had posted of her child and proceeded to make vile remarks and threats against her child.
This is the kind of thing you can expect if you comment with anything but praise for the deceased, so keep it in mind when you’re deciding whether or not to say anything.
5. Weep
Romans 12:15b tells us to “weep with those who weep.” It is absolutely good and kind to be compassionate toward someone – anyone – who has lost a loved one, whether it’s your brother or sister in Christ, the widow of your atheist nephew, or even the family of a false teacher. Take a look at what Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-45:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
Christians showing compassion to the “evil” and the “unjust” is part of God’s common grace to the world. It is an opportunity to reflect the kindness of God that led us to repentance.
But another reason to be grieved by the death of a false teacher is that she is most likely beginning her eternity of death in Hell. Because people who continually and unrepentantly harden their hearts against God’s Word and godly rebuke and correction are displaying the fruit of an unsaved soul. And that is no reason to celebrate. As Ezekiel tells us:
Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? Ezekiel 18:23
God does not giddily damn people. His heart is for all to come to repentance and faith in Christ. And that should be our heart as well. Could it be that, in His infinite mercy and grace, God gave that false teacher a final opportunity to repent and trust Him moments before her death? It could, and that is what we should hope for, not only for the false teacher and her eternity, but for the glory it brings to God every time He washes a sinner in the blood of Christ.
6. Rejoice
But while we demonstrate compassion for the family and grieve the likely condemnation of the false teacher, there is also a righteous, Kingdom-focused, and biblical reason to rejoice: one more voice of blasphemy, lies, and deception has been silenced. At least in the sphere of influence of that particular teacher, no one will be led astray from Christ any longer.
But the wicked will perish; the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures; they vanish—like smoke they vanish away. Psalm 37:20
God shall arise, his enemies shall be scattered; and those who hate him shall flee before him! Psalm 68:1
Will another false teacher step up to take her place? Almost certainly. Where there are those who clamor to have their itching ears scratched, a wicked confidence man will arise to peddle his ungodly snake oil. But for today, for a short time, perhaps, no wares will be sold to this crowd of customers. And that is reason enough to rejoice.
Commenting on the death of a false teacher can be a tricky needle to thread. When we choose to do so, let us exercise the common grace of compassion, reflect the kindness of a merciful God, and always be ready to give a reason for the hope that lies within us with gentleness and respect.
