August 2024 – Michelle Lesley

Originally published February 20, 2015

You’ve heard the old adage: “forbidden fruit is sweeter.” When people use this phrase, what they mean is that if you tell someone he can’t have or do something, he’s going to want to have or do it all the more just because it’s forbidden.

I heard this little cliché several times last week on blogs, on Facebook, in discussion groups, etc., in reference to the deluge (yes, I contributed to it) of Christian blog and press articles decrying the movie Fifty Shades of Grey, and discouraging Christians from attending. Apparently – and I can see where they’re coming from, a little, I guess – some folks felt that the strong, repetitive, and biblical stand against Fifty Shades turned it into a piece of forbidden fruit that a) actually informed Christians (who would have been otherwise oblivious) that this movie even existed (Really? People are tech savvy enough to be on Facebook, Twitter, and blogs, but they were completely unaware of this movie? Ok, I suppose it’s possible.) and b) made Christians want to go see the movie because of its verboten status. The implication was that, if Christians went to see this movie, it was the fault – at least in part – of Christian writers who had warned against it.

Seems reasonable, right?

Until, that is, you start looking at this line of thinking a little more closely through the lens of Scripture.

Pop quiz: What does the phrase “forbidden fruit” allude to?
a) prunes
b) Snow White’s poisoned apple
c) the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in Eden

Please tell me you answered “c,” because, if you didn’t, I might have to sit down and cry. When God put Adam in the Garden way back in Genesis 2, He said, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (2:16-17) Fruit. Forbidden. Boom.

Notice that God is the One who forbade Adam from eating this fruit. God’s way, throughout the entirety of Scripture, is to warn the people He loves of the dangers and consequences of sin, not to remain silent and keep His fingers crossed that they don’t stumble into a pit. God didn’t stick the tree in the middle of the Garden and say to Himself, “Gee I hope Adam doesn’t notice this tree and eat from it, but I’m not going to mention it to him because I’m scared that I’ll make him aware that it exists, and that he’ll want to eat from it just because I said he can’t.” Uh uh. God pointed it out and said, “No.”

God’s way, throughout the entirety of Scripture, is to warn the people He loves of the dangers and consequences of sin, not to remain silent and keep His fingers crossed that they don’t stumble into a pit.
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And let’s take a gander at something else in this story. What caused Adam and Eve to eat from the tree? Was it God telling Adam not to eat from it? No. If that was all it took, why don’t we find Adam eating the fruit immediately after God told him not to? Why didn’t Eve immediately eat from the tree upon learning from Adam of God’s prohibition against it?

Because the warning is not what led them to sin.

We don’t see Eve lay a finger on that fruit until Satan enters the picture. He tempted her, and she gave in to sin.

It wasn’t God’s fault for putting the tree there. It wasn’t God’s fault for warning them. It was Adam’s fault and Eve’s fault for being disobedient.

And giving in to sin is still our fault today. If you went to see Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s not God’s fault for allowing the movie to exist. It’s not some Christian blogger’s fault for making you aware of the movie or warning you not to see it. It’s your fault. You were tempted. You gave in to sin. (The good news is that if you will repent, God will graciously forgive you.)

As Christians we are to be imitators of God. “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” (1 John 2:6) That means that when we see sin that could easily ensnare our brothers and sisters, we don’t turn our heads. We don’t mind our own business. We don’t keep our mouths shut to be polite. We do the same thing God did time after time in the Bible. We run into the fray to rescue those we love.

When we see sin that could easily ensnare our brothers and sisters, we don’t turn our heads. We don’t mind our own business. We don’t keep our mouths shut to be polite. We run into the fray to rescue those we love.
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And we are not to blame if there are those who choose to charge headlong into sin rather than heed the alarm we sound.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Elder crusading for approval of unbiblical missions organization

August 27, 2024August 27, 2024 Michelle Lesley

I want to handle a situation biblically. I am on my church’s mission committee. We have been asked to support [a parachurch missions organization, henceforth, “PMO”]. Several members of the committee have voiced concerns over the PMO’s position on CRT [Critical Race Theory] and LQBTQ issues. We have provided evidence in the form of video and internal PMO documents. We voted not to support this PMO, but after the meeting, the elder who oversees our committee emailed and said we can only voice issues if we have evidence from the PMO’s public website, and he has scheduled a meeting for us to listen to the PMO’s representatives share their ministry because he believes we are misrepresenting it. I do not want to attend this meeting. I am not even sure if I should continue serving on the committee. He only gave us 24 hours notice of the meeting. How should I respond?

(I have redacted the name of this particular PMO because the reader’s question is about how to handle this situation, not about the PMO itself, and because my answer could apply to any number of demonstrably false teachers or organizations. To name this well known organization would require me to provide and explain the voluminous evidence that this PMO does, indeed, vehemently endorse CRT (watch the video series linked above) and is becoming increasingly unbiblical in their position on perversion. I plan to deal with that in another article about this particular PMO at some point, but dealing with it here would make this article much too long and involved.)

I know that’s a difficult spot to be in, and, having been in similar situations myself, I certainly sympathize.

If you’re married, and your husband is a Christian, the first thing you should do (which you probably have done, I just like to begin at the beginning :0) is to thoroughly discuss this with your husband and find out what he wants you to do, and do that.

Hebrews 13:17a says, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.” This elder is not doing his Titus 1:9, 3:10-11 duty to keep watch over the souls of his flock. He is harming them and calling some of them (the discerning committee members) liars. And he will have to give an account of all of that to God. You discerning committee members are actually God’s grace to him to protect him from this sin and subsequent judgment, and he apparently doesn’t realize or appreciate that.

He’s got several credible, doctrinally sound committee members coming to him, warning him about a legitimate biblical issue, and he’s basically telling them they’re wrong in favor of letting the serpents come into the church and further deceive him and the other, less discerning, members of the committee.

The point of this is for the members of the committee to be swayed to support him and the PMO because this is what he wants. He wants to support the PMO. If they’re doing the things you and the other concerned committee members say they’re doing (and they are – there’s plenty of reputable evidence out there to prove it, including what you found), does he really think the representatives are going to admit to it when they visit? Of course not. They’re going to speak, softly, gently, and lovingly. They’re going to be personable and witty. They’re going to give all the right biblical answers. They’re going to say whatever they think this elder wants to hear so he’ll side with them and give them the church’s money.

Something Amy and I have discussed several times on the podcast is this dynamic of sensuality (in the classical sense of the word: “appealing to the senses” of sight, hearing, etc.). It’s exactly what Satan did in the Garden to convince Eve to eat the fruit (see the section on Genesis 3, here). He smooth talked her and appealed to her senses – her feelings – which she followed over her reason: that which she already knew with her brain that God had commanded. (Sensuality is why, for example, it’s easier to be objective about whether or not the lyrics of a worship song are biblical when you read the lyrics from a piece of paper rather than listening to the song. The music appeals to your sense of hearing and your emotions, which can override your rational, objective reasoning.)

That’s why – whether he realizes it or not – your elder is bringing these people in to meet with you in person. It’s a lot easier to appeal to people’s senses and feelings face to face and with your sincere tone of voice and sparkling personality than it is to sway them with facts on a piece of paper.

I really hate to say these things about your elder, but either he’s being underhanded, or he’s well intentioned, yet incredibly gullible and undiscerning. (In fact, he may be allowing his feelings of sentimentality for this PMO to sway him even though he can clearly see the evidence that their beliefs and practices contradict Scripture.)

Either way, assuming this is his general state instead of this being a one time slip up, both of these things are disqualifying (see the qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9). One of the requirements for elders in the Titus 1 passage is in verse 9:

He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

He’s not “rebuking those who contradict” sound doctrine (the PMO), he’s being a corrupt gatekeeper and welcoming the wolves into his sheepfold. If he doesn’t repent, especially if this is a pattern for him, he has disqualified himself from eldership.

An additional issue is – what in the world is going on here with your church’s polity? Your committee voted not to fund this PMO and this elder singlehandedly overrules the committee? Why does the committee even exist? Is it just supposed to be a rubber stamp for whatever any particular elder wants? That’s not biblical.

Furthermore, why is he so locked in on this particular PMO? There are dozens of doctrinally sound missions organizations out there that your church could support and that your committee and your elder could probably unanimously agree on. Why does it have to be this PMO? (My guess: He worked for them in the past or has some sort of personal connection to them, ergo, the sentimentality, or there’s somebody he knows who works for this PMO that he wants to support using the church’s finances. This could be a conflict of interest.)

What I would do is to go to the meeting with my phone in hand, voice memo app open, and let it be known that you’re going to be recording the meeting so you can listen to it again later to make sure you haven’t misunderstood or missed anything. Do not try to hide the fact that you’re recording it. That makes you look sneaky and deceptive, plus, you have nothing to hide. You’re not doing anything wrong. This is just an electronic form of taking notes. Additionally, if you’re told, by the elder or the PMO representatives, that you can’t record the meeting, that speaks volumes about their motives.

After the meeting, the discerning members of the committee should go back to the elder and talk to him again. (You might want to really emphasize my point above that if the PMO were guilty of doing these things, they wouldn’t admit it.). If he digs his heels in and your church hierarchy has another elder or head pastor above him in the chain of command, make an appointment with him, take your whole group, and express your concerns to him. Go as far up the chain of command as you can until you get to the top or until somebody listens and deals with this elder.

If the elder is at the top of the chain of command, and supporting false teachers/doctrine is typical of the way he operates, and he doesn’t repent, you need to find out what your church’s protocol is for initiating church discipline with an elder and the discerning male members of the committee, your husband, and/or other appropriate men should initiate it. If there is no protocol and he can’t be removed and doesn’t repent, I’d go ahead and find a new church. But until you do (or if you decide to stay at this church despite this issue), explore your church’s options for designating your offerings so your money doesn’t go to support this PMO.

Readers, if you’re going through any sort of similar situation at your church, you may wish to explore my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Faith, Salvation

Throwback Thursday ~ Layers

August 22, 2024August 22, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Originally published October 30, 2012

And one of the synagogue officials named Jairus came up, and on seeing Him, fell at His feet and pleaded with Him earnestly, saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death; please come, that by coming, You may lay Your hands on her, so that she will be saved and live.” And He went off with him; and a large crowd was following Him and pressing in on Him.

While He was still speaking, they came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; why trouble the Teacher anymore?” But Jesus, overhearing what had been spoken, said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid, only believe.” And He allowed no one to accompany Him, except Peter and James and John the brother of James. And they came to the house of the synagogue official; and He saw a commotion, and people loudly crying and wailing. And entering in, He said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and crying? The child has not died, but is asleep.” And they began laughing at Him. But putting them all out, He took along the child’s father and mother and His own companions, and entered the room where the child was. And taking the child by the hand, He said to her, “Talitha kum!” (which translated means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!”). And immediately the little girl stood up and began to walk, for she was twelve years old. And immediately they were completely astounded. And He gave them strict orders that no one should know about this, and He said that some food should be given to her to eat.

Mark 5:22-24, 35-43

Did you see it?

The wall in my bedroom isn’t painted very well. It’s obvious that someone rolled on a dusty rose color, but I can also see through that layer of paint to an underlying cream color. I have to take a moment and really look at it, but it’s there. Two distinct, yet bonded, layers of paint.

Do you see the two layers to this story? Take a moment. Really look at it.

Do you see the two layers to this story? Take a moment. Really look at it.
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There’s the obvious top layer:

Here is a daddy who loves his little girl. She’s dying. He’s in anguish.

Here is a Savior who has compassion on both father and daughter. He raises her back to life, and there is great rejoicing in their home.

Jesus, our Messiah, has the power to heal. Power over death. He is exactly who He claims to be: God in human flesh.

But look more closely. Do you see it?

This isn’t just a story about a nameless little girl in first century Israel. It’s about us and the strikingly beautiful story of salvation.

Here is a little girl. Not a son, so highly prized among the Israelites in that day and age, but a daughter. Virtually valueless, except to her father.

There was nothing intrinsically worthy in her to earn Christ’s favor or attention. She had no wealth, no position, no power, nothing to offer anyone. And on top of that, she was dead.

But her father loved her for no other reason than that she was his, and he was willing to lay down everything he had to save her. He sacrificed his dignity. He risked His reputation and laid aside His position of authority. All for the love of this child—a child whose past had offered him nothing but childishness and disobedience. A child whose future promised the same.

Do you see it?

We are that little girl. Valueless. Unworthy. Childish. Disobedient. Dead.

And for no other reason than our Father’s love for us, Christ comes to us when we cannot come to Him, and raises us from the dead.

And you were dead in your transgressions and sins… But God, being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:1, 4-7

For no other reason than our Father’s love for us, Christ comes to us when we cannot come to Him, and raises us from the dead.
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Share Your Testimony

By the Word of Their Testimony: Allie’s Story

August 21, 2024August 20, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Want to share your testimony?
Scroll down to the end of this article to find out how!

Allie’s Story:

I was not raised in a Christian home. However, my mom and dad were, and are, very loving parents. Without knowing the Lord, they cared about godly values and taught us the importance of virtue and wholesomeness. I see this as God’s grace protecting me from a lot of sin that I could easily have gotten involved in. They wanted to raise my siblings and me to be familiar with lots of different religions and belief systems, and so the “church” that we attended growing up was quite a melting pot of those things. We were introduced to some of the Bible, but it was presented right alongside many other religious scriptures and teachings, each of them being presented as equal paths to God. We prided ourselves on being tolerant, but the irony is that the main thing that we were intolerant of was true biblical Christianity.

Jesus clearly said in John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”. Sadly, I didn’t believe that the Bible was the entirely true and infallible Word of God growing up. The dangers of New Age religion is that you firmly believe that you have the most enlightened viewpoint and that everyone else, especially fundamentalist Christians, are close minded and not truly understanding the Bible or why Jesus came. Any concept of sin, atonement, or God’s judgment is viewed as harsh and man-made and instead, everyone is seen as ultimately good and connected with the Divine. I was completely into this “spiritual but not religious” movement and we worshiped the idol of self and whatever felt good and sounded comfortable. I had a completely backwards view on everything– I loved what God hates and hated what He loves– and was headed towards hell and God’s righteous judgment.

Toward the end of high school, I began to be interested in more things of a Christian nature, through books and music and such. In my senior year, we moved from Wisconsin to Michigan, another aspect where I see God’s grace being very present, as we left our old church and life behind with the move. In Michigan, not only did we have a new friend group that was mainly made up of Christian families, but we also started attending a church that taught the Bible as the Word of God for the first time. It was not a church that I would attend today since they mainly sought to be relevant and preached a very watered-down, seeker-sensitive gospel, but God graciously used that time to open my heart to His Word.

At this point I was reading my Bible daily and wrestling with so many questions. Outwardly, I was already this “good, Christian, homeschooled girl” to my new friends but inwardly I doubted my salvation, and for a good reason. I had never repented of my sins and trusted in Jesus alone to save me. I was trusting in my own works and believing a mashed up version of some Bible verses and a lot of made up things that I wanted to be true.

God used a year of some Bible teaching at that church, lots of individual study of the Word, and some very humbling events to show me my desperate need for a Savior. One day at church, it all came to a head for me and I recognized my pride and facade for what it was. The Holy Spirit’s conviction was strong and I was clearly aware that I was not adopted into God’s family of believers. And I needed to be. Immediately.

That morning after the service I repented of my sins and trusted in Christ alone for salvation! I got baptized that day and submitted fully to God’s Word and ways, trusting in Him alone and not my good works. I cannot convey the freedom and joy that welled up in my heart that day as my greatest problem was taken care of and I was set free from sin to live for Christ. By God’s grace, my mom and sister both got saved within a month of me and we had the sweetest fellowship time reading our Bibles and growing in submission to the Lord. We found a new church that preached the full, beautiful gospel and taught expositionally from the Word each week.

A week after being born again, I began to experience anxiety and panic attacks, something that I had as a child but was again resurfacing. Satan seems to capitalize on the naivety of new believers and God was allowing me to see more of my weakness and my need for Him. My pride would like to tell you that this is something that I quickly conquered, but in truth, I still battle anxiety to this day. I have learned much from the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12 when he talks about his “thorn in the flesh.”

Of course, anxiety is not my only area of weakness, and I have become more and more aware, throughout the years, of my sinful flesh and its constant opposition to the things of God. But, I praise God that His Spirit lives in me to conquer the flesh as I am called to daily take up my cross and follow Him. In Christ, I have been set free from slavery to sin and have become a slave of righteousness, as Romans 6 explains. I’m so thankful that sanctification is both a one time event at justification but also a continual process.

I want to point out three areas of God’s work in my life that I pray will be applicable for you.

The first is this: Christ is not needed only by those whose lives have hit rock bottom. I greatly enjoyed my childhood and was walking with the assumption that I was a good person who cared about spiritual things and inclusivity and so that was enough. The truth is that my rebellious heart towards the exclusivity of Christ was just as vile to God as the heart of anyone in history has ever been. I was separated from God by my sins and headed toward hell for eternity. Christ offers the free gift of salvation for anyone at any time and today is the day of salvation! I urge you not to wait as long as I did to be right with Him.

The second point has to do with my pride. I was in a place right before I got saved where I struggled with the fact that I already was identifying as a Christian and most of my friends probably thought that I was a believer. I thought if I truly got saved at that point, those around me would think I was faking it before then, which I was. I beg you not to let this keep you from being saved. Being identified with Christ in His death means also experiencing the death of our pride, and we should feel the sting of denying ourselves and being crucified with Christ as Galatians 2:20 says.

My third point is that coming to Christ does not make all of our problems go away. This is a dangerous misunderstanding of the gospel. As Christians, we are told by Jesus that in this life we will have trouble. We will experience persecution, criticism, opposition from Satan and from the world, perhaps even those very dear to us. However, I cannot convey to you the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. We can receive complete forgiveness of sins as well as abundant life now and for eternity!

Please don’t stop praying earnestly for your unsaved friends and family. If you had known me 10 years ago, I was that person that drove you crazy on Facebook and in person with my prideful resistance to the gospel. I am still amazed at the 180º turn that has come from being saved. I truly became a new creation, as 2 Corinthians 5:17 speaks of.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation;
the old things passed away;
behold, new things have come.
2 Corinthians 5:17

I went from trusting in myself and making God to be who I wanted Him to be, to fully submitting to Christ and delighting that God’s ways are higher than mine. That is the amazing thing about regeneration! Any time God chooses and saves a sinner it is a miracle and worthy of our constant remembrance and praise. Christ is a treasure far greater than anything this world could offer and I pray that you may also know Him as Savior and Lord!

Additional Resources:

What Must I Do to be Saved?

Searching for a new church?

If you are in the New Age movement, or were saved out of the New Age movement and need a little help and encouragement from someone who’s been there, I highly recommend my friend Doreen Virtue and her YouTube channel as a wonderful resource.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share (anonymously, if you like) a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His Word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Drop me an email, and I’ll send you the particulars for sharing your story. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Immodest Proposal

August 20, 2024August 20, 2024 Michelle Lesley

I’m wondering if you could offer some advice on how to handle a tricky situation with my neighbor. She often runs on the road in front of my house and chooses to wear just a sports bra and skin tight running shorts. It creates a sin opportunity for both my husband and my sons and is really causing a heart issue for me.

I know she’s a believer, or at least attends church regularly. How can I best approach this so it doesn’t turn into a subjective argument about modesty?

Also, we have found a doctrinally sound church but haven’t joined because so many so women are dressed inappropriately. Unfortunately, some of these women are in the elders/deacons families. Any advice on how to approach this when we meet with the elders? Our hope is that the issue can be corrected and we can continue to be a part of this body.

I know it’s a heart issue for these women and I can certainly pray, but is there Scripture that says church discipline should be taking place allowing us to worship too?

It’s no secret to anyone with eyes that the fairer sex is – more and more, every day – letting it all hang out. I’m just as appalled as any other Christian woman when I look around at the world. And, sadly, sometimes immodesty infiltrates the church as well.

Before you do anything in either of these situations, I would encourage you to listen, listen carefully, and maybe even listen more than once to the three episode A Word Fitly Spoken podcast series Amy and I released a few years ago on modesty:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

You might be wondering why I’m recommending that you – someone who obviously cares about modesty and Scripture’s teaching on it – give the subject more study. It’s a perfectly reasonable question.

It’s because modesty is such a concern for you that I want to make sure you (and all of my readers, really) have a biblical understanding of it. And once you do, I want to lovingly suggest that you spend some weeks praying for wisdom and clarity on the question of whether all of these women are actually dressed immodestly, or if there’s a possibility that your own ideas about modesty might need some biblical tweaking.

I’m not saying that’s definitely the case, because I don’t know you, and I can’t see how all of these women are dressed. I’m saying study up and explore that possibility in private prayer time with the Lord before you decide you need to take action, especially with something as serious as church discipline.

I would also suggest that you and your husband spend some time in prayer about all of this and have some focused discussions around the question of how much of this is his and your sons’ issue and how much of it is your issue. It’s not fair to your husband or sons to assume they are incapacitated by lust over all of these women unless they’ve told you that’s the case. You said, it’s “really causing a heart issue for me,” and I think it might be more of an issue for you that you realize. You may need to explore the questions of:

whether or not you trust your husband to be faithful, including whether or not he’s been unfaithful, habitually used pornography, or had a lust problem in the past
the balance between protecting your sons from sexual sin and entrusting them to the Lord
the degree to which you should be the one dealing with your sons about this issue (As a woman, you don’t have a man’s eyes, brain, or heart. Your husband does. He’s the best one to build your boys into godly men in this area.)
whether weight, health, aging, or other factors might be causing you to be jealous of these other women’s appearances
if you’ve ever been the victim of sexual abuse, is seeing so many women as immodestly dressed somehow connected to that experience?
(I know this is extremely unlikely, but it could apply to another reader): whether you’ve had sin issues of homosexuality or homosexual lust in the past and that might be playing a part in this.
whether you’re struggling with trusting the Lord with any aspects of this situation

If your husband is struggling against the sin of lust and/or pornography, my recommendation to him is to contact either a doctrinally sound pastor or godly older man he knows and trusts to disciple him about this, or he needs to set up an appointment with a certified biblical counselor (not the same thing as a “Christian counselor/therapist/psychologist/etc.”).

If you and your husband spend sufficient time studying, praying, seeking wisdom, and discussing all of these things and you can stand before God with a clear conscience and honestly say, “It’s truly not us. There really are a lot of immodestly dressed women around us,” then you can discuss what action, if any, to take. The biblical pattern is to always examine our own hearts first before seeking to correct others.

The biblical pattern is to always examine our own hearts first before seeking to correct others. (See Matthew 7:1-5)
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In either case, I would not advise approaching your neighbor about her running garb unless you are extremely close friends (and I suspect you’re not since you called her a “neighbor” instead of a friend, and you can’t confidently say whether or not she’s a Believer). It’s not going to go well no matter how kindly you approach her or what you say.

My advice:

Most people run at a regular time each day. Figure out when that is. (For heaven’s sake, don’t ask your neighbor. That’s going to come off as creepy and stalker-ish.)
If you’re the one who has the issue with seeing her dressed immodestly, either don’t walk through the living room at her running time (or don’t look out the window if you do), or don’t open the curtains until after that time, or both. However big your property might be, it can’t possibly take more than a few minutes for her to pass your field of vision.
Let your husband and sons handle their business of making a covenant with their eyes. That’s their job, not yours. And they’re already having to do it every day in scads of other situations you’re not aware of, so they’ve got some practice at it.

With regard to the situation at the church, either the issue is with you and there aren’t multiple women dressed so immodestly every week that you can’t worship, or there are and this church is not doctrinally sound. Because those two things – ongoing extremely immodest dress by the elders’/deacons family members and a doctrinally sound church – cannot coexist. They cancel each other out.

In addition to it being the biblical pattern, the reason I emphasized examining your own heart first is that I’ve been a member of and visited dozens of churches in my life. I’ve visited a few that would give Bethel a run for its money. And I’ve never, even in the worst of those churches, observed so many women so scantily clad every single week that it would have been impossible for doctrinally sound Christians to worship (had it been a doctrinally sound church). An isolated modesty issue here and there – usually with a visitor? Sure, even in the doctrinally sound churches. But never the type of pervasive, continuous issue you’re describing – something that would prevent potential members from joining the church.

If there truly are multiple elders’/deacons’ family members who are immodestly dressed every week and it’s not being dealt with, it’s not a doctrinally sound church and you shouldn’t join it. Use my Searching for a new church? resource in the blue menu at the top of this page and find another church.

“…is there Scripture that says church discipline should be taking place allowing us to worship too?”

I understand the what you’re trying to convey here – basically the idea that the people who are doing wrong (dressing immodestly) are the ones who should have to change their ways, not the people who are not doing wrong (you and your family). I sympathize and there are many ways in which I agree with you on this.

But you can’t throw that idea into the blender with church discipline or you’ll be guilty of mishandling the Scriptures that deal with church discipline, primarily Matthew 18:15-20.

Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault, between you and him alone; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as the Gentile and the tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17

Church discipline has nothing to do with making things right or comfortable or fair *for you*. Church discipline is about rescuing brothers and sisters from sin and reconciling them to Christ and to the church *because we love them*.
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Church discipline has nothing to do with making things right or comfortable or fair for you. Church discipline is about rescuing brothers and sisters from sin and reconciling them to Christ and to the church because we love them.