Michelle Lesley

If you’re in the vicinity of Des Moines, Omaha/Lincoln, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New York City, Jacksonville, Chicago, or Kansas City, you might have recently heard a familiar name and voice on your local Christian radio station!

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of appearing as a guest on The Plum Line Radio Show with Jay Rudolph to chat about the topic of prayer. What is prayer, and what does the Bible say about it? Are things like private prayer languages and Sozo prayer biblical? Listen in to these two brief interviews and find out!

The Plumb Line, episode 373- Prayer- Michelle Lesley, part 1

The Plumb Line, episode 374- Prayer- Michelle Lesley, part 2

Click here to find out which radio stations carry The Plumb Line and when. If you don’t live near one of those markets, you can always follow and listen on Spotify.

Articles / resources mentioned in these episodes:

Basic Training: 8 Things You Need to Know About Prayer

Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a women’s conference or church event? Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat!

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Church Roles and Ambiguous Anatomy

May 14, 2024May 14, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 24, 2020

I’m curious to know if someone who is medically intersex should be considered a man or a woman for the purposes of appropriate church roles. I’m not sure if the Bible addresses that or not.

According to the National Institutes of Health, “Intersex is a group of conditions where there is a discrepancy between the external genitals and the internal genitals (the testes and ovaries). The older term for this condition is hermaphroditism.” In other words, a person could have XX chromosomes (genetically female) and ovaries, yet the external genitalia appears male (i.e. penis instead of vagina), or vice versa for a genetic (XY) male. There are also some other genetic anomalies that result in intersex, and a wide variety of genital anomalies not related to sexual identity that fall under the category of “intersex”.

(And just so we’re all on the same page here, “medically intersex” refers to a congenital abnormality– a birth defect. It does not mean, nor does the reader who sent in this question mean, a physically/genetically normal man or woman who has decided to mutilate his/her body with surgery to appear to be the opposite sex. That’s different. Also, the reader who sent in the question is not asking whether or not a medically intersex person may be saved or may be a church member. She is only asking how the biblical roles for men and women in the church {i.e. preaching/teaching/leadership roles} apply to a medically intersex person, so that is the question I’m answering.)

But because “intersex” has become something of a catch-all term for a so many genetic defects related to chromosomal abnormalities and/or internal reproductive organ abnormalities and/or external genital abnormalities, it’s nearly impossible to answer a question like, “How common is medical intersex?”. But even the (now defunct) Intersex Society of North America (an advocacy group, which we can probably safely surmise would be fairly liberal/over-generalized in its statistics) estimates that only .05-.07% (half of 1%) of babies at birth have genitalia so ambiguous that they require a consult by a sex specialist, and far fewer end up needing surgery to correct these anomalies.

Now, keep in mind that, as I said, that .05-.07% is the total estimate for a wide variety of reproductive and genital anomalies, many of which do not affect sexual identity. So the number of people who are genetically female with male genitals or genetically male with female genitals (what the reader who sent in this question is referring to) is only a fraction of that .05-.07%. In other words, it’s an extremely rare condition.

So, take that very tiny number of people and add on the qualifiers for this reader’s question. The medically intersex person has to get through the narrow gate of salvation (because unsaved people don’t have “church roles,” as they’re not part of the church, and, naturally, shouldn’t be serving or leading in the church in any way whatsoever). Now your numbers have gone from tiny to tinier. Now, whittle those numbers down even further: the person not only has to be saved, but has to have a doctrinally sound understanding of the roles of men and women in the church, the person has to desire a position of leadership or servanthood in which the biblical role of men/women is an issue (for most positions in the church, it generally isn’t), the person has to be otherwise biblically qualified to serve in that role (e.g. above reproach, sober-minded, etc.), and the person has to find and become a member of a doctrinally sound church that actually follows the Bible’s teachings on the roles of men and women in the church.

Now your numbers have gone from “tinier” to, “Get me the strongest electron microscope in existence.” Statistically speaking, this is never going to be an issue in any doctrinally sound church.

But it’s interesting to think about.

There isn’t a Bible passage that describes medical intersex and whether or not a person so afflicted may or may not serve in the role of pastor, elder, deacon, preaching to/teaching Scripture to men, holding authority over men, or older women teaching the younger women (the church roles assigned to either only males or only females).

The closest the Bible comes to addressing this issue is in Leviticus 21:16-23, which says that a man with crushed testicles may not serve as a priest in the temple. However, this passage does not apply to the question at hand for a couple of reasons, which are abundantly clear if you read the passage in context.

First of all, “crushed testicles” is only one condition in a litany of other physical abnormalities which disqualified a man (only men could serve as priests) from the priesthood. And the reason for this had nothing to do with sexual identity. The reason men with physical “blemishes” couldn’t be priests was basically the same reason that when you brought an animal for sacrifice, it had to be perfect, free of any physical defect: It symbolically pointed ahead to the perfection of Christ. Christ was not only the unblemished Lamb of God, our perfect sacrifice, He is also our perfect high priest. That’s why both the Old Testament sacrifice and priest had to be “without blemish”.

Second, although there are some similarities between the Old Testament temple and the New Testament church, they are two distinctly different entities with different qualifications for leadership. This is easy to see if you compare some of the requirements for the Old Testament priesthood with the requirements for pastors of New Testament churches. Other than the fact that the pastorate is restricted to men, there are no physical requirements for pastors. Certainly we would not say that a man who is blind or has psoriasis is disqualified from being a pastor strictly on the basis of those conditions, would we? Yet these men (and others with all types of physical “blemishes,” including crushed testicles) were disqualified from the priesthood.

So, having no direct biblical passages to go on, here are a few thoughts…

Such a unique situation that isn’t directly addressed by Scripture will need to dealt with on a case by case basis by the pastor, elders, and church leadership.
The medically intersex person who meets all of the qualifiers I outlined above should set up an appointment with his/her pastor, explain the medical condition, explain whether he/she has been living as a man or a woman, and why, and get pastoral counsel on which positions of service or leadership would be appropriate.
I would think it would be helpful for the medically intersex person’s current pastor to contact his/her former pastor for insight on how the situation was handled at his/her previous church. The current pastor might end up making different decisions than the previous pastor, but getting the benefit of the previous pastor’s experience would seem to me to be beneficial.
The medically intersex person seeking to serve the church has probably already established an identity (dressing, behaving, considers him/herself as, presenting as) as a man or a woman in his/her daily life. Taking that into consideration and weighing all of the other factors and details, church leadership may prayerfully consider it appropriate to let this person function in the church as the sex he/she identifies as. In other words, if the person has established an identity as a woman (she considers herself a woman, dresses/acts like a woman, her family, friends, and others consider her to be a woman, etc.), it could be an appropriate decision to allow her to function as a woman in the church, following the Bible’s role for women in the church.
Another appropriate decision the church leadership might make would be to err on the side of caution and help the medically intersex person find a place of service that is not impacted by the Bible’s parameters for men and women in the church. Here and here are a couple of good jumping off points.

If the medically intersex person and his/her church leadership prayerfully come together seeking wisdom from the Lord, and trying to discern what is pleasing to the Lord, there is one biblical certainty about this situation: they can trust Him to direct their path.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Uncategorized

Thank you!

May 1, 2024April 29, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Thank you so much to everyone who donated to my ministry fundraiser last week!

I did my best to send a thank you note to everyone who donated via PayPal (If I missed anyone- THANK YOU bunches!!!), but some of my platforms don’t have a convenient way to send a message, so I thought I’d do it here.

Thank you so much to my new patrons over on Patreon, as well as to those who increased their monthly giving. You are such a blessing to me each month!

Thank you to those who donated via CashApp. Your generosity and kindness are much appreciated!

And finally, thank you to my anonymous follower who clicked this little button at the top of the blog…

…and covered my platform fees for next year. What a blessing to me and to all of my readers!

Thanks also to all who shared such kind birthday wishes and encouraging comments on social media and the blog.

You are all such a blessing to me, and it is my pleasure to serve you in Christ.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Female Bible authors?… Handling “OMG” at work… Alone in my discernment)

April 30, 2024April 30, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Did any women write any part of the Bible?

Nope. No women authored any of the books of the Bible. The main reason for this is God’s established pattern of male headship and leadership. (Additionally, women were largely illiterate at that time in history.) Because of this, we have no reason to believe that any parts or passages of any books of the Bible were written by women.

We have passages like the song of Miriam, the song of Deborah and Barak, and the Magnificat, but these wouldn’t be considered “writing part of the Bible”. They were almost certainly spontaneous songs, which the male writers of those books recorded in Scripture.

Who were the authors of the books of the Bible? at GotQuestions

If you are at work and others are constantly saying “OH MY G-D!” would you say something? It hurts my heart! It has become such a common thing, making God so disrespected.

I get it. I physically wince every time I hear it, myself.

Since this is your work environment rather than your church or a situation with family or friends, I would suggest getting some counsel from your pastor or a spiritually mature friend about how to handle this situation. It really depends on the dynamics of your workplace and your relationship with your boss and co-workers.

If you’re good friends with the people who are doing this, you may be able to take them aside and gently request that they try not to say this around you. If you have a more distant relationship with them, they’re probably not going to take too kindly to your request, and it could strain the already tenuous relationship you have with them, creating a work environment that’s even more uncomfortable for you.

Bear in mind that the most likely reason they’re saying this is because they’re lost. Lost people do lost people things. They’re not concerned about obeying Scripture, and they’ll be offended and resentful if you ask them to. If, after talking to your pastor about the situation, you feel it would be best not to speak up, perhaps you could use every occasion when they say this as a reminder to say a quick prayer for them and their salvation.

Listen to Cussing, Profanity, and OMG at A Word Fitly Spoken

Since I have been following your ministry, I have been trying to be a Berean in what I hear, read, and watch. But the more discerning I become, the more alone I feel I am!! Friends that I have for years thought were solid in their faith, love The Message, Jesus Calling, The Chosen, go to Bible Studies by either false teachers or at the very least not recommended teachers, and dismiss me when I give them resources that speak the truth about these things!! What in the world???!!

My question is, could I be too far discerning? Should I be more open to hear what they have to say? Should I too be willing to read The Message or watch The Chosen? I am really feeling alone and like I’m missing something! What’s wrong with me Michelle?!!

Thank you for listening to me. I wonder if others have felt this way too.

Nothing is wrong with you, honey. Everything is right with you. You’re growing in maturity in Christ, in discernment, and in your knowledge of the Word. And one of the “growing pains” we go through as Christ sanctifies us is the realization that when Jesus said…

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 7:13-14

…He meant it. And He meant it far more than we realized the first time we read that passage. Few find the narrow gate. Some of the people we thought – due to our own lack of spiritual maturity – were Christians, suddenly aren’t. We just didn’t know it before.

This is, of course, not to say that anyone who’s ever watched an episode of The Chosen is on the express train to Hell, or that thinking Jesus Calling is awesome right now necessarily means you’re a false convert.

Remember, every genuinely born again person is being sanctified by Christ. And just because you’re not at my level of discernment yet doesn’t mean you’re not saved. And just because I’m not at your level of patience yet doesn’t mean I’m not saved. None of us are at Christ’s level of any of those things, and we won’t be, this side of Glory. God is working on each of us, at His own pace, in the area(s) He sees fit, at this moment in time.

Rather than looking at the trees of someone’s life, it can be more helpful to zoom out and look at the forest. Is she on a general trajectory of growing more Christlike, more holy, more obedient, more understanding of the Word? Or, over a substantial period of time, is she on a general trajectory of increasing disobedience to Scripture, decreasing faithfulness to the church, a worldview that’s getting less and less biblical? It’s a more accurate barometer of someone’s overall spiritual state than whether she’s spent the last couple of weeks going gaga over The Message.

Could you be too discerning? No. That’s like asking if you could be too loving, too peaceful, too gifted at teaching, or too gifted at serving.

Should you be more open to hear what they have to say? No. That is, if by “open” you mean “Should I consider doing or believing things that conflict with Scripture?”. Of course not.

But being a good listener when your friend is going on and on about the new Beth Moore study she’s attending can help a lot, because it can help you to ask her good questions. Like, “Wow, I never heard that before! Where does Scripture say that?” or “Interesting! Could we look at that passage in context together?” And the same goes for reading that heretical book or watching that blasphemous movie or TV show. If you’re mature and discerning enough not to be swayed by it, you can use what you observe to start a good discussion and teach her what the Bible really says. So yes, being more open to listening and understanding is much more valuable than the knee jerk NOOOOOOOO!!! STOPPPPPP!!! reaction we discernment-world folks can be tempted to.

Have others felt this way too? Yep. You’re looking at one. Most people with even moderate discernment feel this way at least occasionally. And I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received from women grieved over the fact that they’re “the only discerning person in my church!”.

It’s no fun. It can be lonely. You might even need to change churches. But you’re in good company with the rest of us discernment weirdos out here, and you’re always in good company with Jesus.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: You can’t always get what you want, but Jesus is all you need.

April 23, 2024February 10, 2026 Michelle Lesley

I found this article because I am a Christian single 37 year old woman. I have yet to meet a man that would be a suitable partner. And by that I mean everyone I’ve dated over the last two decades has shown major red flags I can not in good conscience ignore. Impossibly entitled/self oriented, pushing for sex without commitment/marriage, all taking no giving, general apathy, not marriage minded, secret addiction issues… You name it. I’ve seen it. And as soon as I do see it I don’t stick around long. I really have done everything I can think of and stayed out of trouble.

In any case, the church has no great answers for single women who are running out of time and followed all the rules so to speak. What is life even supposed to look like without a family… without a husband? Are we to marry bad men if good ones aren’t available? Are we to forgo the joys and meaning of rearing our children and creating life? The highest and most sacred calling the church asks of women? I feel quite powerless, and I’m beginning to get twinges of resentment towards men in general for failing me and many other great women. All the families and children that will never be. Life’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband. The enormity of the grief I’m beginning to feel if I don’t meet someone in time is beyond comprehension. If you were to get a call one day and learn your husband and children all died… It’s like that. Except you didn’t even get to have any time with them in your life at all. Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family. Get mad at the men. No one wants to do it alone. I’m sure this wasn’t her preferred plan. Or start speaking to what God’s plan is for single women. Cause mathematically there’s more single Christian ladies than single men and this outcome is quite inevitable and predictable. Yet the church stays quiet or rails on about getting married which causes a great silent pain in many hearts like mine… To whom shall I marry?

My dear sister, my heart goes out to you in your pain. Although I felt much the same way before I met my husband, I was much younger than you are, and I was not single as long as you have been. So, I won’t say I know how you feel, because I don’t. But I do sympathize. I understand that your pain is very real, and though I wish there were something I could do to alleviate it, I can’t.

But Jesus can.

I don’t mean that in some trite, Pollyanna way. I mean that in the way Scripture means it. You must find your contentment, your completeness, your satisfaction, in Christ, despite your circumstances. And that goes for all of us, because all of us suffer in one way or another. So let’s all take a look at God’s way of working through these types of difficult situations.

You must find your contentment, your completeness, your satisfaction, in Christ, *despite* your circumstances.
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You must be born again.

I’m not accusing you of not being a Christian because of your question or the way you expressed yourself. But I don’t know you. And on the internet: anyone can claim to be anything, a lot of people don’t have a biblical definition of the word “Christian,” and there are a lot of false converts out there. So I never assume that someone who says she’s a Christian has actually been born again. Besides that, I just like sharing the gospel.

If, for some reason, you (or anyone reading this) have never heard the biblical gospel and responded to it in repentance and faith in Christ, you must do that today. Immediately. Your eternity is at stake. Additionally, you will never find the peace and contentment you seek if you are not in Christ.

Click on the What must I do to be saved? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, and prayerfully work your way through it. When you get finished with that, work through my Bible study on assurance: Am I Really Saved? A First John Check Up.

Become a faithful, active, member of a doctrinally sound local church.

Not just any church. A doctrinally sound church.

If I had to guess from some of the thoughts and phraseology in your comment, I would guess you’re either not in church right now or not in a doctrinally sound church. Why?

In a doctrinally sound church, you don’t find that “everyone” of the single men are “impossibly entitled/self oriented, pushing for sex without commitment/marriage, all taking no giving, general apathy, not marriage minded, secret addiction issues…”. Generally speaking, men like that aren’t saved and don’t hang around doctrinally sound churches.

Additionally, if you were in a doctrinally sound church, you would have been taught and discipled not to date men like that because they’re most likely not saved, and Scripture commands you not to be unequally yoked in marriage with an unbeliever.

Furthermore, this: Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family. Get mad at the men... is patently unbiblical. I realize you may have just been venting and didn’t really mean it, but you did not learn this line of thinking in a doctrinally sound church. This is pragmatism and bitterness. Christians do not “make the best out of” anything by sinning. Christians obey God even when their flesh wants to do something else. And my telling a Christian that is not “judging,” it’s biblical instruction.

You need to immerse yourself in a doctrinally sound local church immediately.

I want to be very clear that I am not telling you to join a good church in order to catch a good husband (although you certainly have a much better chance of that if you’re in a good church).

I’m telling you to join a good church a) because it is every Christian’s obligation and privilege to be joined to a doctrinally sound church, and b) because a solid church will train you, help you, encourage you to learn to be content in Christ, and will comfort you in your pain when you’re having a rough day.

Click on Searching for a new church? in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. If you’re already a member of a church, start reading the resources in the What to look for in a church section, and see if your church matches up. If it doesn’t, or if you’re currently disobeying God’s command not to forsake the assembly, repent and scroll back up to the church search engines section. (I’d recommend starting with Founders first, then G3, then The Master’s Seminary, then the others.)

Pursue Christ, not a husband.

…The highest and most sacred calling the church asks of women?

The highest and most sacred calling a doctrinally sound church will call women and men to is to pursue Christ. For a church or an individual to put anything ahead of pursuing Christ is idolatry.

I know what you’re going through grieves you, but you’re going to be even more miserable if you continually focus on what you don’t have – a husband and children – than what you do have as a Believer – Christ. Discontent – in any circumstance – only makes things worse. Believe me, I’ve been there.

You’re going to be even more miserable if you continually focus on what you don’t have -a husband and children- than what you do have as a Believer- Christ. Discontent -in any circumstance- only makes things worse.
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Focus your life on pursuing Christ. Get up every day and study the Word. Spend copious amounts of time in prayer. Faithfully attend and serve your church. Share the gospel. Disciple younger women. Be consumed with Christ and you won’t be consumed by discontent.

Be consumed with Christ and you won’t be consumed by discontent.
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RSVP to the Pity Party:
☑️ Will Not Attend

Brace yourself. It’s time for a little tough love. For all of us:

Suck it up, buttercup. Yes, your suffering is real and not unimportant. Yes, it’s excruciating at times. But nowhere in Scripture will you find God saying that self-pity is a godly pastime. And you’re not the only one out there who’s suffering. Look to Christ. He suffered far more than any of us, yet He didn’t feel sorry for Himself. In His season of greatest suffering, He served.

…Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Therefore, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Peter 2:21b-23, 4:19

Recently, I was reading several related psalms, and I noticed the repeated phrase, “I will lift up my eyes”. Stop the narcissistic navel gazing and lift your eyes up to Christ crucified for your sins, raised for your justification, ascended into Heaven, and seated at the right hand of God. And then look around you at the people He would have you serve, following in His steps.

Self-pity leads to bitterness. Just say no.

You can’t always get what you want.

We all have to face up to the fact that just because we want something doesn’t mean that’s what God wants for us. You may never get married. Some women are unable to bear children. I have a friend who has been disabled all his life. There are lots of things he wanted to be able to do, physically, that he’s never been able to do. I have another friend who will never have grandchildren because of the choices her children have made. God is denying me something in my own life right now -maybe permanently- and it’s extraordinarily painful.

We all have to face up to the fact that just because we want something doesn’t mean that’s what God wants for us. And He is still good.
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And He is still good. Everything He does in our lives is for His glory and our good. He knows what’s best for us. The question is,

will we submit to what He wants rather than insisting on what we want?
will we trust that He knows, far better than we do, what’s best for us?
do we want Him more than we want that thing we’re so desperate for?

Being a Christian means surrendering everything we are, and everything we want, to Christ to do with as He pleases. What do we get in return? We get Him. And He is far more than enough.

Being a Christian means surrendering everything we are, and everything we want, to Christ to do with as He pleases. What do we get in return? We get Him. And He is far more than enough.
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Let’s get specific…

What is life even supposed to look like without a family… without a husband?

It is supposed to look like a godly single woman pursuing Christ, being content in Christ, and loving and serving her family, friends, and church.

Are we to marry bad men if good ones aren’t available?

Of course not. Even pagans know better than that, and certainly no doctrinally sound Christian or church would suggest such a thing, especially when the Bible commands otherwise.

Are we to forgo the joys and meaning of rearing our children and creating life?

Yes. If God doesn’t see fit for you to marry, you are absolutely to forgo those joys and meanings. You are to joyfully open your hand, let go, and sacrifice those things to Him knowing that He has something different for your life. Something that will bring more glory to Him and will consequently be better for you.

I’m beginning to get twinges of resentment towards men in general for failing me and many other great women.

Stop that right now. That is, indeed, sinful resentment. Repent of that. You also need to examine your heart and consider whether or not your desire for marriage has risen to the level of coveteousness. Demanding, idolizing, and fretting over something God has told you “no” about right now is coveting. If that’s what’s happening, repent.

“Men in general” have not failed you or anyone else. Stop blaming them. God is sovereign over every atom of this universe. If He wanted you to be married right now, you would be.

All the families and children that will never be.

There are precisely the number of families and children God wants there to be. God decides that, not people.

Life’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband.

No, marriage’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband. Just because you don’t have a husband doesn’t mean you don’t have a life. You have a life that, right now, is to be lived for the glory of God as a single woman. And that life is not devoid of beauty. God don’t make ugly, honey.

The enormity of the grief I’m beginning to feel if I don’t meet someone in time is beyond comprehension.

Yes, your grief is valid and real. It is also to come under the lordship of Christ and not consume you. When grief overwhelms you, praise Him. Worship Him. Thank Him. Remember His promises. Ask Him to get that grief under control and put it where it belongs: at His nail-pierced feet.

Ask God to get that grief under control and put it where it belongs: at His nail-pierced feet.
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I would encourage you to read through and pray through the Psalms, especially the ones in which the psalmist cries out to God in the dark night of his soul. Nearly all of them end with him praising God. And so many of those psalms, and others, encourage us to “wait upon the Lord”.

Waiting upon the Lord is not running ten miles down the road from what He’s currently doing in your life and hollering after Him to hurry up and catch up with you, while you impatiently tap your foot and drum your fingers. Waiting upon the Lord is what we see Israel doing during their forty years in the wilderness. When the pillar of cloud set out, they would follow it to their next destination. When it stopped, they set up camp and waited for it to move again. A day. A couple of weeks. A few months. Whatever length of time it took.

“In time” is God’s time. Trusting Him includes trusting His timing.

Trusting God includes trusting His timing.
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If you were to get a call one day and learn your husband and children all died… It’s like that. Except you didn’t even get to have any time with them in your life at all.

It’s nothing like that. Refusing to be content in Christ in the season of life in which He has currently placed you is not comparable to grieving the loss of my husband and children. Now, if, after I had lost them, I refused to be content in that new season of my life, that would be comparable.

Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family.

Again, this is not biblical. You are speaking from fleshly grief and self pity, not from the mind of Christ or the Word of God. You’re lashing out at me because you’re hurting.

When I tell someone that the Bible says something is sin and she can’t do it, I’m not offering my biased, subjective personal opinion and pragmatic advice, nor am I “judging” her. I’m telling her what God says because I love her.

You can’t make the best out of a bad situation by sinning. You can only make the best out of a bad situation by obeying God’s Word. Sinning just makes a bad situation worse.

You can’t make the best out of a bad situation by sinning. You can only make the best out of a bad situation by obeying God’s Word. Sinning just makes a bad situation worse.
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Get mad at the men.

No. It is not “the men’s” fault that you’re single or that the woman in the IVF article defied God’s plan for the family or chose to abuse a child by intentionally denying him a father. Stop blaming other people for the season of life God has sovereignly put you in, bow the knee to Him, and find your contentment in Christ.

No one wants to do it alone. I’m sure this wasn’t her preferred plan.

Is that what she’s going to say when she stands before God on Judgment Day? “So what if I defied You? I didn’t want to do it alone. This wasn’t my preferred plan.”.

This is pragmatism and excuse making.

Or start speaking to what God’s plan is for single women.

Honey, I’m one of the few doctrinally sound voices out there who is speaking to what God’s plan is for single women. And married women. And divorced women. And widowed women. And childless women. And women with children. And disabled women. And able bodied women. And women who stay home. And women who work outside the home. And…

Single women aren’t a special class of Christian, and neither are any of the other categories I just named. God’s plan for all of us is to wake up every day and live in obedience to His Word in whatever circumstances He has sovereignly placed us in. Period. That’s God’s plan for you, single woman.

And furthermore, I did speak specifically to what God’s plan was for the single woman in the IVF article and you didn’t like it. You accused me of being unsympathetic and judgmental. You can’t have it both ways.

Cause mathematically there’s more single Christian ladies than single men and this outcome is quite inevitable and predictable.

Sin. God’s will. Obedience to Scripture. None of these things are determined by statistics, by the ends justifying the means, or by pragmatism. They’re determined by God’s written Word.

Yet the church stays quiet or rails on about getting married which causes a great silent pain in many hearts like mine.

Forget what “the church” is or isn’t doing. You don’t have to listen to “the church,” you only need to concern yourself with your church. If your church is either unbiblically staying quiet or unbiblically railing on about getting married, talk to your pastor about your concerns and, if nothing changes, find a doctrinally sound church.

If your church is teaching biblically about marriage, you’re the one who needs to change. Ask God to help you. Stay in the Word and in prayer. Set up an appointment for counsel with your pastor. Find a godly older woman in your church – preferably one who’s single, if possible – to disciple you.

If you’re currently forsaking the assembly, sweep around your own front door, stop blaming “the church,” repent, and join a doctrinally sound church.

To whom shall I marry?

You’re asking the wrong question. Stop coveting a husband and start asking God how you can bloom where He has planted you. How you can glorify Him by submitting your will to His. How you can honor Him by your obedience to Scripture.

God never promised us a bed of roses on this earth. He told us to count the cost.

Now let’s all pick up our crosses and get moving. There’s Kingdom work to be done.