Women – Page 3 – Michelle Lesley

Christian women, Church, Discernment, Sanctification, Women

Sacrificing Truth on the Altar of Tone

April 17, 2014May 20, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Ladies, do you believe in woman’s intuition? Do you have it? I’m not talking about premonitions– having a feeling that some future event is going to take place- I mean intuition. Being able, for example, to sense from a friend’s tone of voice that she’s having a bad day, noticing from the body language of two people who are “just friends” that romance is brewing beneath the surface, or discerning the tension between two people who are seemingly cordial to one another.

Maybe men have this “super power” too, but I’ve noticed it more with women. I believe it might have something to do with the way God has hard wired us. Nothing against men here (y’all are awesome in your own masculine way), but we women generally tend to be more sensitive to and concerned about other people’s feelings, we listen “between the lines,” and we hear and analyze tone of voice more. It’s one of the great things about the way God has created us that helps us as we nurture, comfort, and care for others.

But lately, I’m noticing that this “super power” of ours can also be a super problem.

Our sensitivity to tone (of voice, of writing, someone’s demeanor, etc.) is a hindrance rather than a help to us when we refuse to evaluate the content of what someone is saying to us simply because his manner of speaking, writing, or behavior has offended our sensibilities. This is especially harmful when that content is biblical truth.

Our sensitivity to tone is a hindrance rather than a help to us when we refuse to evaluate the *content* of what someone is saying simply because his manner of speaking, writing, or behavior has offended our sensibilities.
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I have recently observed several instances of this, all involving women who, at best, found it difficult (with some outright refusing) to put aside their feelings of offense at the writer’s or speaker’s tone in order to compare the content of his speech or writing to Scripture to see if it might be true. (And, by the way, the speech and writing I’m referring to here are sermons, commentary, and articles, not someone writing or speaking to these women personally.) I can sympathize. It’s happened to me plenty of times.

Often, when we hear a fellow Christian put biblical truth bluntly in black and white and it rubs us the wrong way, our first reaction is to quote part of Ephesians 4:15 and chastise him for failing to “speak the truth in love.” But is that the only point of Ephesians 4? Let’s take a look at it in context:

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
Ephesians 4:11-16 (emphasis mine)

When I was in elementary school, one of the reading comprehension tasks we were often assigned was to find the “main idea” of a piece of writing. So, what is the “main idea” of this passage in Ephesians 4? I’ll even make it multiple choice (my favorite!).

Is the main idea of the passage:

a) Teachers and preachers should speak the truth in love so that they will not offend anyone.

b) A discussion of the different types of leadership roles in the church.

c) Christian leaders are to equip church members to grow to spiritual maturity which builds spiritually healthy and unified churches.

While the passage touches on some of the ideas in a and b, the main point is c. We’re to grow up. We are to listen to preachers, teachers, and writers who rightly handle God’s word, even if we come across one every now and then who steps on our toes with his demeanor or tone.

And it’s important to remember that just because our feelings are hurt doesn’t necessarily mean the other person sinned or did anything wrong. Sometimes you and I take things the wrong way because we’re not listening, we’re not understanding, or because we’re incorrectly reading our own hurts and past experiences into what the other person is saying. And none of that is her fault.

Sometimes the reason we’re offended is because the other person is speaking or writing simply and directly without wrapping her words in fourteen pillows of feelings-coddling. (Believe it or not, this is the way people used to speak all the time before feelings became such an idol in our culture. You could just say things without all the caveats.) We’ve grown so used to everyone walking on egg shells and tiptoeing around everyone’s feelings when we write and speak, lest anyone be “triggered,” that when someone simply says what she has to say without beating around the bush, we take offense that she hasn’t bent over backwards in her wording to make sure our feelings haven’t been hurt. And that’s not her fault, either.

And finally, sometimes we think -or claim– our feelings have been hurt by the other person’s tone, when, really what’s happening is that the Holy Spirit is convicting us, or we know she’s right in what she’s saying but we’re too proud to admit it. And those things aren’t her fault, either.

Just because someone says something and you get offended doesn’t automatically mean she’s at fault. Sometimes the fault is yours.

Just because someone says something and you get offended doesn’t automatically mean she’s at fault. Sometimes the fault is yours.
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Look, I know it’s hard. There are people out there who offend me sometimes, too, but persevering through the offense will grow us into mature women of Christ and make our churches healthier.

Statistically speaking, more women regularly attend church these days than men. And when I say “more,” I mean 61% women to 39% men. Can you imagine the impact it would have on the health of our churches if all of those women were pursuing spiritual maturity through biblical truth and sound doctrine?

Instead, we are often like a little girl in a burning building. The fireman is vehemently insisting that the little girl come with him to escape, and she refuses to move because he hasn’t said it nicely enough.

We are often like a little girl in a burning building. The fireman is vehemently insisting that the little girl come with him to escape, and she refuses to move because he hasn’t said it nicely enough.
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Ladies, I say this to all of us (including me) in love, because true love is desiring what’s best for someone:

It’s time for us to grow up. It’s time to stop taking our dollies and stomping home from the playground in a huff every time somebody speaks or writes strenuously. It’s time to stop crying about our hurt feelings, put on our big girl panties and be women.

It’s time to stop taking our dollies and stomping home from the playground in a huff every time somebody speaks or writes strenuously. It’s time to stop crying about our hurt feelings, put on our big girl panties and be *women*.
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Discerning women. Berean women. Women of God’s word. Women who can handle having our feathers ruffled and come out on the other side stronger for it.

Too often, we make the mistake of equating a soft tone of voice and a sweet disposition with “love”. But many of the people who speak with this kind of “love” are not speaking the truth. They are smooth talking, charismatic con men selling snake oil for our souls.

Too often, we make the mistake of equating a soft tone of voice and a sweet disposition with “love”. But many of the people who speak with this kind of “love” are not speaking the truth.
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If we’re not careful, we can become people who “will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4), or “weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:6b-7), or even “children unwilling to hear the instruction of the Lord; who say…“Do not prophesy to us what is right; speak to us smooth things, prophesy illusions,” (Isaiah 30:9-11).

We forget that our Master, the perfect embodiment of love, didn’t always speak softly and act politely when the gospel was at stake. Because there are things out there that are much more important than our feelings, and biblical truth is one of them.

There are things out there that are much more important than our feelings, and biblical truth is one of them.
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Additional Resources

Discernment: What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Christian women, Faith, Old Testament, Salvation, Sunday School, Women

Rahab: From Floozy to Faithful ~ Sunday School Lesson ~ 3-30-14

March 30, 2014April 5, 2019 Michelle Lesley

These are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. Click here for last week’s lesson.

Through the Bible in 2014 ~ Week 13 ~ Mar. 23-29
Joshua 1-24
Rahab: From Floozy to Faithful

By faith Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient,
because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.
Hebrews 11:31

Background- Joshua 1
Joshua 1 sets the stage for the story of Rahab and the spies. Moses had recently died, and God “promoted” Joshua to take his place. It was finally time for the Israelites to enter and take possession of the Promised Land. As God “installed” Joshua into his new position, He reminded Him:

Stay true to My word and you’ll be successful in what I command you to do.
Be strong and courageous (4 times in ch. 1); I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Here is the extent of the land I promised. I will keep my promise.

Cities had to be conquered, and first on the agenda was Jericho. Joshua began planning for the conquest by readying the people and by gathering intelligence about the city.

Joshua 2

Gathering Intel (1-2, 9-11, 24)
Do you remember one of the first stories we studied in which Joshua played a major role? He was one of the two spies in Numbers 13-14 who brought back a good report about taking the land of Canaan. I wonder if Joshua was thinking about that incident here, forty years later.

Joshua sent two spies, compared to the twelve who went to spy out Canaan, of which he was a part. Jericho was a much smaller area than Canaan, only two were needed, and a larger group would have been more easily discovered. Interestingly, unlike the story of Joshua and Caleb, we never discover the names of these brave spies who risked their lives and their reputations to bring back a good and faithful report. What did they find out and report back to Joshua about Jericho? (v. 9-11,24)

The Hiding Place (1-6)
Why would two nice, godly Jewish boys hide out in a prostitute’s house? Why not a nice, clean hotel? Well, first of all, they generally didn’t have hotels as we know them back then. When people traveled, they brought tents with them and camped out, stayed with friends or relatives, spent the night in the town square (Gen. 19:2), etc. And, sometimes, if it was immoral men traveling without their families, a prostitute’s house was a preferred option for a night’s lodging.

Rahab’s house would have been the perfect place for the spies to hide. They were foreigners, they were travelers, and it wouldn’t have been abnormal for them to be surreptitious (covering or disguising themselves) when entering and leaving her house. Plus, Rahab had men arriving and departing at all hours. Since she was a prostitute, many of the townspeople may have avoided her and her clientele, so it was probably the best option available for the spies.

Rahab’s house was built into the city wall. At that time, kings of various cities/countries would regularly attack each other, so many cities were built like fortresses with tall, thick walls around them and gates that could be opened or closed. The back wall of Rahab’s house was also the city wall and had a window the spies could escape from. After the gates had been shut, there would have been no other way to get out of the city.

The Faith of the Spies (24)
The main focus of this story is, rightfully, on Rahab’s faith. But, what about the faith of the spies? These men, out of faithfulness to God, and loyalty to Joshua and Israel could have been tortured and killed had they been discovered. They stayed in the home of an unclean prostitute, which was a BIG deal. (Think back over all the clean/unclean laws we just studied.) They followed the instructions of someone who was: a) a woman, b) a prostitute, c) an enemy and an pagan, and d) had no military/spy experience of her own that we know of. (Although, perhaps, in her profession, she was skilled in hiding men who were being hunted down by people on the warpath). They found an impossibly heavily fortified city. There was no human way to successfully attack it. And still, they were confident in their trust that God would somehow keep them safe and give Israel the city.

The Faith of Rahab (9-13, Romans 1:19-20, 2:14-15)
Rahab was a pagan. How could she have had faith in God? How did she even know about Him? The Bible tells us that ALL human beings have a basic knowledge of God in two ways: through creation (Rom.1) and through our consciences (Rom.2).

But Rahab knew some other things, too. She knew how God treated His children and His enemies. She had heard what God had done at the Red Sea (10)—how God had protected His children and destroyed the Egyptians. She knew how God had defeated the kings of Sihon and Og (10). She knew that out of all the gods she had ever heard of, this One was the real thing- God of heaven and earth. She knew, and she was afraid. Her fear and her defection prove her faith. If she had not believed in who God was, and that He was able to do all these things she would have had no reason to be afraid, nor would she have helped the spies and aligned herself with them against her own people.

Rahab became so convinced in her mind that God was indeed who He had shown Himself to be that she gambled everything on it. Think of what the king would have done to her if she had turned out to be wrong and had gotten caught. At the very least, she would have been killed. but as a traitor, she certainly would have been made and example of. She probably would have been publicly tortured to death, and maybe her family too. This was no small thing she did. She bet her life on a God she didn’t know. That’s the faith that saved her and led her to hide the spies and her other actions. The actions did not save her, it was the overwhelming belief in God which drove those actions.

Two Different Faiths Then (John 4:22, Luke 10:21, Deuteronomy 32:39)
There is a qualitative difference between the faith of the spies and the faith of Rahab. As Jesus said to the woman at the well, “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews.” (John 4)

The spies were God’s people. They knew Him personally. They were born into God’s house and grew up as obedient sons. They were chosen by Him and belonged to Him. They had seen Him work as eyewitnesses. They had, and knew, His word. They would have been like the older brother in the prodigal son story if he had been faithful.

Rahab, on the other hand, had none of that. She was the prodigal. She did not know God personally, but only, as an outsider, by reputation. She likely knew nothing of God’s love and promised blessings for obedience, but only of His wrath towards sinners. She was not born into God’s house; she was a pagan. She was not an obedient son; she was a woman, and as sinful a woman as she could be. She was not chosen by God and did not belong to Him. She was an outcast. She had no idea what God might do next. All she knew was that she didn’t want to die.

The spies knew. God had laid it all out for them. They were obeying God, not out of fear, but out of love.

Two Different Faiths Now
Rahab’s faith versus the spies’ faith reminds me of unchurched people coming to Christ versus churched people coming to Christ. We “spies” who were raised in church by Christian families grew up knowing all the Bible Stories, all the whys and wherefores of Jesus and salvation. It is the blessing of a godly heritage.

Rahab, like the unchurched, lived her whole life not knowing God, just doing what sinners do. When she finally heard about Him, all she had was the basics, and, knowing only that He was “Lord of Heaven and earth” (Luke) and “able to kill and make alive” (Deut.), she flung herself unashamedly on His mercy—which, at the time, she probably wasn’t sure would catch a woman like her—all because she wanted to live instead of die.

The Object and Outcome of Our Faith (Joshua 6:17, 22-25, Matthew 1:5, James 2:25)
But no matter our background or how we come to faith in Christ—Rahab or spies, unchurched or churched—the object of our faith is what matters, and the object of our faith is Christ. And because the object of our faith is the same, the outcome of our faith is also the same.

What was the outcome of this whole scenario for the spies? For Rahab? They were saved despite the destruction all around them. After it was over, they all lived in the Promised Land together. Rahab and her family became part of God’s family just like the spies were. She even got to be one of Jesus’ great, great…grandmothers (Matt.), was commended in the “Hall of Faith” (Heb. 11, above), and was cited as an example of good works giving evidence of our faith (Jas.).

God loves the prostitute just like He loves the good little girls. He sent His precious Son to save both of us and to display us as trophies of His grace.

Additional Resources
The Walls of Jericho by Answers in Genesis

Church, Ministry, Servanthood, Women

Sunday School Lesson ~ 12-29-13

January 5, 2014 Michelle Lesley

I just noticed that I didn’t get last week’s Sunday School lesson posted. I have a good excuse, though. It was my 21st anniversary, and my husband and I went out to dinner :0) Please excuse my tardiness in getting this posted.

These are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. They will be in outline form, so if you have any questions or need more details, please feel free to leave a comment below.

Click here for last week’s lesson.

Godly Womanhood – God’s Role for Women in the Church Part 2- Opportunities to Serve

Titus 2

Last week, we talked last week about the “forbidden fruit” in the Garden of women’s service in the church. This week, we’re talking about all the other fruits God has lavished on us.

Titus- Background: Titus is a pastoral epistle written by Paul to Titus circa A.D. 62-64. Titus had worked with Paul at the church in Crete and was left there by Paul to continue pastoring that church. Paul instructs Titus on structure in the church (Ch. 1- qualifications for elders, Ch. 2- mentoring and teaching) and emphasizes the importance of Christians living godly lives. (Ch. 2-3) in order that God’s word may not be shamed and that it may attract people whom God wills to save.

Titus 2:

1- Who is “you”? What does it mean to “teach what accords with sound doctrine”?

“You” refers to Titus specifically, and pastors in general, though it applies to everyone who teaches God’s word. (Of course, it would not make sense that pastors are to teach sound doctrine, but others can teach false doctrine!) “Sound doctrine” means biblical teaching that matches God’s word in context.

2-3- How are “older men/women” to conduct themselves?

“Likewise…reverent” refers back to the list of characteristics in v. 2. “Older” generally means those 60+ who no longer had (for women) child-rearing responsibilities. We are all older than someone and should be working towards this little by little as we age.

When have children still home, our primary mission/teaching field is those children. God does not want us neglecting our families in order to train/serve others. However, it is important for children to see a godly example of service to church/others. Children can even be included in some acts of service (making meals, visiting elderly, etc.). There has to be a balance with our families coming first (another important reason for men not to shirk leadership duties- women don’t have to do all the church work AND all the child rearing).

“Empty nesters” and single women have the blessing of being able to devote much more time and energy to serving the church.

Anna (Luke 2:36-38)– Anna was a good example of godly older single woman and how she served in the “church”. Contrast Anna’s “giving thanks to God and speaking of Him” to Titus 2:3’s “slanderers and slaves to much wine”

“Teach what is good”– “Good” goes back to v.1- sound doctrine. We are to teach younger women to fulfill the special roles only women are uniquely created/crafted/shaped by God to fill. These things are “good” and also necessary, or Paul would not have mentioned them. They are not to be scorned in favor of the forbidden fruit of instructing men.

4- Why do younger women need to be trained to love their husbands and children? (Luke 9:23, Matthew 22:39, Luke 10:25-37) Somehow, we have the misguided notion that love is a simply a feeling and that it comes naturally. But, we are to love like Christ. We are to deny ourselves and take up the cross daily, love neighbor (family) as self, and be a Good Samaritan to our nearest neighbors- our families. It is a huge responsibility and sphere of influence.

5- Self-control in all areas: anger, modesty lust, selfishness, etc. Purity in thoughts/deeds: self-righteousness, selfish motivations. Working at home: making a peaceful, gospel-centered home where Christ is honored. Hospitality to the lost, ministering to church/neighbors out of your home, mentoring younger women- showing them an example of a godly home, and more.

Why are we to teach/learn to be self-controlled, pure, etc.? That the word of God may not be reviled. The world is watching. Live in obedience to God’s word as living testimonies to its truth in all aspects, but especially the gospel. Uphold the beauty and truth of God’s word by living it.

Other ministry opportunities for women:
This is not an exhaustive list, just some things that class members have asked about, things suggested by Scripture, and common areas of church service that are not in conflict with God’s role for women’s service in the church as specified in 1 Timothy 2:12 and other Scriptures.

1. Raising up the next generation of godly men and women, and teaching children in the church (1 Timothy 2:15).

2. Correcting false or inaccurate Bible teaching (Acts 18:24-26) Notice: 1.) Priscilla does this in a support role to her husband, 2.) They take him off to the side, alone, not in front of others, or in a church service 3.) This is a temporary, needed at the moment, situation, not an ongoing office held by a woman. Ideally, a godly man will step up and handle situations like this, but in some cases a man is not available. Certainly women are to teach other women sound doctrine and to denounce false teachers, male or female.

3. Missions and evangelism (Matthew 28:18-20) The Great Commission is not limited to men. Women missionaries to women are needed, especially in Muslim countries in which women aren’t permitted to talk to men. Male missionaries to men are needed in these countries for the same reason. Married couple mission teams are also needed.

4. Hospitality and ministry support (Romans 16, Acts 16:15) Paul mentions several women he is thankful for who served in the church. Churches met in their homes (which was dangerous at that time), and they took in traveling missionaries/pastors (also risky). V. 13- Rufus’ mother was a “mother” to Paul (probably housed and fed him, did his laundry, etc.) Today, this could mean the same (taking in traveling minister) or serving your own pastor/his wife- type up the bulletin, babysit for pastor’s family, cook for them, etc.

5. Ministering to widows, orphans, the sick, the poor, and those in prison (Matthew 25:34-40) Food pantries/clothes closets or just giving of your abundance to those in need, working at orphanages/foster care, food/comfort for the bereaved, visiting in the hospital/housework while someone is sick, visiting at the women’s prison.

6. Financial support of others’ ministries (Luke 8:1-3, Acts 16:14)

7. Music (Ephesians 5:18-19)

8. Prayer (Acts 16:11-15) There were not 10 Jewish men (heads of household) in Philippi required to establish a synagogue, so the women were meeting out by the river to pray/worship.

9. Building and grounds upkeep.

10. Committee work and administration. As long as male leadership is not usurped, there are many committees women can serve on and some they can even chair.

11. Disaster relief

12. Special projects. Fundraising, dinners, collections for military care packages, outreach, VBS, etc.

Lots of areas of service in the church are biblically open to women, many of them needful of a woman’s special touch. Women’s service in the church is vital. It is not less important just because it does not include teaching and holding authority over men.

Church, Sunday School, Women

Godly Womanhood – God’s Role for Women in the Church ~ Sunday School Lesson ~ 12-22-13

December 22, 2013April 5, 2019 Michelle Lesley

These are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. Click here for the previous lesson.

Godly Womanhood – God’s Role for Women in the Church
1 Timothy 2

Review/overview of God’s structure for leadership:

Creative Order (Genesis 2-3):

1. Man was created first, then woman.

2. Man was given responsibility, position, and instruction before woman was created.

3. Woman was created to be a helper.

Marriage Order (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7, 1 Corinthians 7):

Reflects and builds on the Creative Order:

1. Consistency with Creative account

We do not see a reversal or equalizing of roles in the New Testament’s teaching on the roles of men and women in marriage. The marriage roles continue to be understood basically as they have been since Creation.

2. Conformity to God’s original plan in the Creative account

Not only do we see consistency with the Creative account, we also see a reiteration and fleshing out (with more specifics) of God’s original plan for the roles of men and women. Men have primary leadership/responsibility, women play a supporting role. Eph. 5:31 even quotes Gen. 2:24.

Reflects the relationship between Christ and His church:

1. Christ –the bridegroom- is the head of the church –the bride- as the husband is the head of the wife. (Ephesians 5:23-24, Matthew 9:15, John 3:29, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:7, 21:9)

2. The wife is to submit to her husband as the church is to submit to Christ.

God’s pattern- in the Creative order, the marriage order, and the bride of Christ order – is that the male is in the primary role of leadership, and the female is in the support role. What do you think He will say about the roles of men and women in church leadership in 1 Timothy 2?

Seeing that established pattern, would it make any sense for God to break that pattern, especially in His bride, the church, and establish an order opposing this pattern, in which women have authority over men in the pastoral/teaching/leadership roles of the church?

8- Paul sets the tone of the passage as primarily a leadership “do” for men.

Not primarily a “don’t” for women, this is secondary. He begins by telling men to stand up and take responsibility in the church. Men- take the initiative and lead, don’t shirk leadership responsibilities.

9-10- Two “do’s” for women: modesty and good works.

Women also have responsibilities here. Clothing/apparel is to be modest physically and in “showiness.” We are to adorn (arrange, put in order, make ready) ourselves with good works. We don’t “sound a trumpet” (Matt. 6:2-4) about our good works—that’s immodest. We are to let our reputation for good works precede us. Good works should “wear us” rather than us “wearing” (flaunting) them.

Notice again the emphasis and tone that has been set here. This is primarily a “do” passage, secondarily a “don’t” passage, but we often focus on the “don’t” to the exclusion of the “do.” Men are to stand up and take the leadership responsibility in the church, and women are to be busy about doing good works.

11- Women are to be taught God’s word.

Emphasis here is primarily on “let” secondarily on “quietness and submission”. Paul is commanding that women be taught, a somewhat new concept for 1^st century Jewish/secular culture. Women were often not deemed important enough to be taught, nor capable of learning.

But they were not to find themselves lifted out of one ditch- undervalued- only to jump into the ditch on the other side of the road- domineering. Women are to learn respectfully and submit to the role God has assigned us.

12- Women are not to teach men or exercise authority (leadership) over them in the church setting.

This includes Bible teaching (small groups, classes), preaching, various leadership roles. Men are to assume the responsibility for these roles. Not only is this biblical, but it frees women up to do the good works God has called us to adorn ourselves with.

13-14- Why? The answer goes back to Creation.

Paul does not give current culture as the reason for God’s instruction that women are not to teach/exercise authority over men, though many today argue this. Nor was the reason that women are dumb or incapable, nor because men are smarter. The bedrock reason is 1- God set it up that way at Creation for HIS reasons (we don’t have to understand, just trust and obey) and 2- Eve was deceived. 2 Timothy 3:1-7.

Just as God put Even in the Garden with a myriad of options and delights, with one restriction, so God puts women in the church with plenty of opportunities to serve Him, yet one restriction: leadership/teaching/preaching is reserved to men. That does not make God unfair or sexist. He is in charge. He gets to make the rules. He is God. We are not. Are we going to be like our mother, Eve, and step over God to steal the fruit He has forbidden us, or will we instead spend our time delighting in all the other options for serving that He provides us?

15- One opportunity for serving God that He has set aside especially for women: raising up the next generation of godly men and women.

From the note on this verse from the MacArthur Study Bible (ESV):

“Paul is not advocating that women are eternally saved from sin through childbearing or that they maintain their salvation by having babies, both of which would be clear contradictions of the NT teaching of salvation by grace alone through faith alone sustained forever. Paul is teaching that even though a woman bears the stigma of being the initial instrument who led the race into sin, it is women through childbearing who may be preserved or freed from that stigma by raising a generation of godly children. Because mothers have a unique bond and intimacy with their children, and spend far more time with them than do fathers, they have far greater influence in their lives and thus a unique responsibility and opportunity for rearing godly children. While a woman may have led the human race into sin, women have the privilege of leading many out of sin to godliness. Paul is speaking in general terms; God does not want all women to be married, let alone bear children.”

Additional Resources:

Women in the Local Church by Lindsey Carlson

Women in Ministry at CARM.org

What Roles Can Women Fulfill in Ministry? by GotQuestions.org

Marriage, Sunday School, Women

Godly Womanhood – Sex, Marriage, Singleness, and Divorce ~ Sunday School Lesson ~ 12-8-13

December 8, 2013April 5, 2019 Michelle Lesley

These are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. Click here for last week’s lesson.

Godly Womanhood – Sex, Marriage, Singleness, and Divorce
1 Corinthians 7

Background on 1 Corinthians:
Written by Paul to the church in Corinth (in southern Greece) circa A.D. 55. Aphrodite (Greek goddess of love) worship was the major religion. Gross immorality and drunken debauchery included: fornication, adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, concubinage, prostitution, and incest. Ch. 7 was in response to a previous letter from the church to Paul asking questions about marriage/sex.

7:1-2- What is the Corinthians’ question? Why would they ask this? How did Paul answer?

v. 1- Paul is restating a quote from their letter, not giving instruction himself. Because of the extent of the sexual corruption in Corinth (most in the church had grown up in this environment and didn’t know any differently), the baby Corinthian church has a skewed, confused understanding of sex and thinks maybe Christians should stay away from it altogether (even inside marriage). Paul has to hit the “reset button” on their theology of sex and show them it is a good gift of God in its proper context.

7:2-5- Parameters for a biblical theology of sex:

1. Sex is only to take place between a man and a woman who are married to each other. (2ff)

V. 2- “Each man his own wife/woman her own husband.” V.3ff all continue to assume sex inside heterosexual marriage as evidenced by the terms “husband”/”wife”. This automatically precludes homosexuality, prostitution, adultery, fornication, etc.

2. Both husband and wife have a right to reasonably expect regular sex in their marriage (3). (Assuming the health and capability of both.)

Notice that the husband is mentioned first- emphasizing that the husband should fulfill the wife’s sexual needs, not just his own. As in all other aspects of marriage, we serve each other unselfishly, and don’t use each other for our own gratification.

3. Sex is a gift that both spouses should give generously, and as an act of love and service, to one another (4).

This is the other side of the coin to #2. There should be a healthy and mutually agreeable balance, but we are not to be stingy in responding to requests for sex. Sex shouldn’t be dependent on the whims of “mood”. God gave us our bodies to serve in all aspects of our marriages, including sex.

Think about it: there are a lot of times we don’t especially feel like doing the dishes, cleaning up after the kids, etc., but we do it anyway and with a good attitude. What does it say to our husbands when they see us doing all those things because they’re important, but constantly turning down sex because we’re “not in the mood”? What if he constantly wasn’t “in the mood” to say “I love you,” or listen to you when you need to talk?

Notice that the wife is mentioned first here for emphasis as this can be an area more in need of improvement for women than men.

4. Do not deprive one another (5).

Sex, as in #3, is a gift we freely and lovingly give to one another. It is not a weapon, a reward, a bribe, or a bargaining chip. Would we use food as a reward, bribe, weapon, etc? Any break in normal sexual activity must be by mutual agreement, and even then only for a short time for SPIRITUAL PURPOSES. (Again, assuming the health of both. This particular verse doesn’t address the incapacitation of a spouse.)

5. A godly sex life inside of marriage is a safeguard against temptation to sexual immorality (2, 5-9).

Yes, there is sexual temptation even in the best of marriages, but how much more would there be without a godly sexual relationship in marriage? We are not just serving a physical need, but also a spiritual one- helping each other avoid temptation.

Being single is a good gift of God, and there are advantages to it (later in chapter), but if the temptation to immorality is too great, it is better to get married and have that sexual outlet in place.

7:10-11- We are not to desire and seek out divorce. Related passages: Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9, Genesis 2:24, Malachi 2:16

“Not, I but the Lord” Paul is reiterating what God has already spoken. Repentance and reconciliation is God’s desire, not divorce.

7:12-14, 16- What if one spouse isn’t saved? Related passage: 1 Peter 3:1-2

“I, not the Lord”: New revelation. God had not previously spoken on this. New Corinthian believers were confused and thought perhaps they should divorce unsaved spouses to marry saved ones. Just as 1 Pet. 3 says, spouses and children can be won to Christ through the testimony/behavior of the saved spouse.

“Made holy” doesn’t equal “vicariously saved.” It means God will be working in lost spouse’s/children’s lives toward salvation through the testimony of the saved spouse. They will also benefit from the blessings that go along with being married to someone who is saved (having a spouse who is faithful, kind, forgiving, etc.) and constant exposure to the gospel.

7:15- God does not hold divorce against a Christian (as sin) in this situation.

There are only two instances for “biblical divorce”: Infidelity (see Matthew passages above) and an unbelieving spouse leaving. In this situation, it is not the Christian seeking divorce, but the lost spouse. The Christian is a victim of divorce, not the initiator. The Christian spouse should be living in obedience to the Lord and doing everything he/she can to keep the marriage together, but notice: “God has called you to peace” Every situation is different, but a point comes when continuing to fight for the marriage can violate the peace God calls you to, and you have to let go and leave things in God’s hands.

7:17-24- God saves people “where they’re at” for a reason.

God knows the situation/time of your life you’re in when He saves you. One reason for this is so that people in your life (spouse, co-workers, friends, etc.) can see the results of Christ saving you, which can open the door for you to share the gospel with them. God doesn’t save you just to save you- He saves you to save the people around you. One of those people could be your lost spouse.

Unless your hobbies/job/friends are inherently sinful (you’re a hit man who likes to hang out with dope dealers at the strip club), you don’t necessarily have to dump everything in your life when you get saved. You don’t have to quit your job to become a missionary or dump all your old friends and replace them with church friends. You could be how God saves them.

7:6-9, 25-40- Singleness and marriage are both good gifts given to different people for God’s sovereign purposes.

Marriage is a good gift for protecting from temptation and for raising Godly children. Singleness has the wonderful advantage of allowing one to concentrate more time on prayer, study, and ministry.

Additional Resources:

What Are Biblical Grounds for Divorce? from GotQuestions.org

The Best Thing Out There on Singleness from CBMW

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

Fireproof (movie)