Throwback Thursday – Page 7

Parenting Without Shame

April 21, 2016July 20, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 5, 2015

I don’t know about you, but I find “pet shaming” pictures hilarious. You’ve seen them. They’re the ones that show something like a dog next to a chewed up tube of diaper rash ointment, and the dog is wearing a sign around its neck saying, “I ate a tube of Desitin and barfed all over the new carpet during my family’s dinner party.”

Photo courtesy of Life With Dogs

The funny thing to me is that the dog usually looks like he’s not the least bit sorry, and he’s certainly not ashamed. We can have a good guilt-free laugh at these silly pictures, because the dog has no idea what’s going on and isn’t feeling humiliated in the slightest. But what about the shaming of human beings?

Shaming as a form of punishment is nothing new. You read The Scarlet Letter in high school right? You’ve seen pictures of a one room schoolhouse with a child sitting in the corner wearing a dunce cap? More recently, we’ve seen judges sentence petty criminals to stand in a public place holding a sign confessing their crimes. But lately I’ve been seeing a parenting trend that isn’t funny or appropriate, especially for Christian parents: kid shaming.

Lately I’ve been seeing a parenting trend that isn’t funny or appropriate, especially for Christian parents: kid shaming.
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This ten year old girl was lying about her age, sneaking out with boyfriends, and breaking her parents’ social media rules. So they forced her to wear a shirt declaring her age, along with a “little girl” hairdo and accessories

This barber offers parents free “balding man” haircuts for their misbehaving children.

This mom went to school with her teen-aged daughter, mocking, taunting, and videotaping her for skipping class.

If a child were doing this kind of thing to another child, we’d call it bullying, and everyone would be appalled. But if a parent does it and posts pictures of it on social media she’s hailed as an innovative disciplinarian.

Does kid shaming work to modify a child’s behavior? Sometimes. But as Christian parents, we are not called to merely modify our children’s behavior. We are called to cultivate the soil of their hearts, so that those little hearts may one day be fertile ground, ready for the seeds of the gospel and godly discipline. And shaming or humiliating a child doesn’t enrich that heart soil. It hardens it.

As Christian parents, we are not called to merely modify our children’s behavior. We are called to cultivate the soil of their hearts. And shaming or humiliating a child doesn’t enrich that heart soil. It hardens it.
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Children need discipline, but they need us to discipline them in a godly way. How do we discover the godly way to discipline? By following God’s example laid down in His Word. There are many reasons God presents Himself to us in the Bible as our Father. First, and foremost, it describes our relationship to Him: the depth of His love for us, His desire for what’s best for us, His authority over us. Our love for and dependence on Him, our desire to obey Him. But, secondly, God revealing Himself to us as our Father gives us a beautiful, perfect model to follow in parenting.

God revealing Himself to us as our Father gives us a beautiful, perfect model to follow in parenting.
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Want to know how to love your child? Look at the way God loves you. Want to know how to provide for your child? Look at the way God provides for you. And if you want to know how to discipline your child, look at the way God disciplines His children. Does God shame and humiliate us when we sin? No.

He disciplines us because He loves us…

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. Hebrews 12:6

He does not shame us into repentance, but draws us with His kindness.

Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? Romans 2:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:21

He does not discipline to humiliate, but to train us in holiness and righteousness…

but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:10b-11

Sometimes God’s discipline is pretty intense, but it is always done in love and always to draw us away from sin and back to holiness, never to demean us. Our children are a precious gift, entrusted to us by God. We are to reflect God’s character to them as we walk with Him and seek to love and discipline them His way. Choosing a worldly way of correcting their behavior but not tending their hearts, well…that would be a shame.

Choosing a worldly way of correcting their behavior but not tending their hearts, well…that would be a shame.
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Bible Study, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ Nine Helps for Starting and Sticking to Daily Bible Study

April 14, 2016March 18, 2019 Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 31, 2015

9 helps daily bible study

It seems to be a common dilemma among new Christians, Christians who have never developed the habit of daily Bible study, and even those whose current Bible study methods or materials just don’t seem to be “working.” You know you need to be studying God’s word efficiently and effectively every day, but you aren’t quite sure how to get the ball rolling.

Let me just say right off the bat that getting over that ginormous hurdle between knowing you ought to study your Bible today and actually doing it is normal. Every Christian goes through that at least occasionally. So don’t worry that your flesh balking initially when it’s time to open your Bible means you aren’t saved or you don’t have enough faith, or whatever. But don’t let it stop you either. There are some things you can do to get off to a good start with setting up and sticking to a daily Bible study time. What can you do to set yourself up for success?

Prioritize It

Take a little time to get alone with the Lord, and be honest with Him and yourself. Is daily Bible study actually important to you – something you want to do? Why or why not? Do you feel like you should be studying, but you don’t really have a desire to? Ask God to help you understand your motivations and submit them to Him. Ask him to give you a passion for His word. Ask Him to help you to be obedient to Him in making His word a priority in your life.

Pair It

Pair your study time with something you already do faithfully, and at roughly the same time, every day. Study while you’re eating lunch, during the baby’s nap time, right after you exercise, as soon as you get up in the morning, etc. Piggybacking onto something that’s already built in to your schedule helps you stay faithful and keeps you from forgetting.

Plan for It

Do your best to block off your schedule for your Bible study time and guard that time from interruptions. Turn your phone off and get away from social media. Don’t schedule other appointments or activities that might run long and impinge on your study time. Take care of any possible contingencies that could come up before you get started.

Be Purposeful About It

The Bible should be studied in an orderly way so you can understand and apply it properly. I usually recommend simply picking up the Bible and studying it rather than using Bible study books and workbooks, and having a systematic plan of study is essential, not only to proper understanding and application of God’s word, but also to keep you from wasting time trying to figure out what to study each day. Choose a book of the Bible, start at the beginning, and work your way through it, or choose a plan for working your way through the New Testament, Old Testament, or whole Bible.

Pare It

Bible reading plans are great, but some of them can simply require so much daily reading that you don’t have time to slow down, take it all in, and linger over what you need to linger over. You don’t have to read the whole Bible in a year, but if a plan interests you, you could tweak the timing of it or pare it down in some way so you’re not biting off more than you can chew. Go for quality rather than an overwhelming quantity. Many beginners find that a chapter a day (unless it’s Psalm 119!) is just about right.

Partner with Someone

Check in regularly with a friend or your husband and discuss what each of you is learning from God’s word and how He’s using what you’re studying to make you more like Christ. It’s great fellowship and will help keep you both accountable to staying in the Word.

Positively Reinforce It

It’s true that studying God’s word is its own reward, but sometimes disciplining yourself to stick to a schedule needs a little extra boost of incentive, especially when you’re just starting out. How about making a deal with yourself that you can get on social media, watch TV, have dessert, etc., only after you’ve had your Bible study time? Or that if you don’t miss any days of studying your Bible for a whole week, you’ll reward yourself with an ice cream cone, a bubble bath or some other small treat?

Pursue It

Realize from the get go that there are going to be some days when you’re going to forget to study your Bible, or oversleep, or have an emergency, or just plain old give into temptation to skip it. Take a breath. It’s OK. If there was sin involved, repent and ask God’s forgiveness. If there’s still time left in the day, and you’re able, go ahead and pull your Bible out, even if it’s not your regularly scheduled time. If not, just get back up on that horse tomorrow. God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Prize It

Above all, whether it’s a day when you’ve had a fantastic time in God’s word or a day when you’ve messed up royally, keep your eyes on the prize and see the long term value in spending time in the Scriptures each day. God is using His word to grow you in holiness and make you more Christlike.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AT SATISFACTION THROUGH CHRIST.

Prayer, Throwback Thursday

After This Manner Therefore Pray

March 31, 2016March 17, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Prayer. It seems so simple- just talk to God. But when it’s time to actually do it, there can be a million questions. What should I pray about? How long should I pray? Do I have to say “Thee” and “Thou”? Eyes opened or closed? Do I have to be on my knees? Should I speak aloud or pray silently?

It’s nothing to be ashamed of. The disciples lived with Jesus. Heard Him pray. Watched Him pray. And they still had to ask Him, “Lord, teach us to pray.” Jesus graciously answered their request with what we now call “The Lord’s Prayer” or “The Model Prayer.” There’s one version of it in Luke where Jesus teaches the disciples personally, and another, expanded version in Matthew 6:9-13 in the Sermon on the Mount, the version we’ll be looking at today.

Even after all these years, and after hundreds of books and sermons on prayer, Jesus’ simple teaching is still the best way to make sure we’re “doing prayer right.” When we submit the way we pray to His instruction, we can be sure we’re praying the way He wants us to pray. So how can we follow the Lord’s Prayer in our own prayer lives? Let’s take a look.

Pray then like this:

This may not seem like a very important phrase – after all, it’s not even in the body of the Lord’s Prayer – but it’s actually vital to our understanding of modeling our prayers after the Lord’s Prayer. Notice Jesus didn’t say, “repeat after Me” or “recite these exact words.” He said “pray like this.” The NASB renders this phrase as, “Pray, then, in this way.” KJV says, “After this manner therefore pray.” And the NIV has, “This, then, is how you should pray.”

The point? Jesus gave the Lord’s Prayer as an outline for prayer or as a sample prayer, not a specific set of words to recite every time you pray. While it’s fine to sincerely pray – and mean – the exact words of the Lord’s Prayer, we must guard against the “vain repetition” of “empty phrases” Jesus had warned the disciples about just two verses earlier. Mindlessly rattling off the words of the Lord’s Prayer out of habit or so you can check prayer off your daily “to do” list is not prayer. Instead, try using each phrase of the Lord’s Prayer as a guide to how you should approach Him in prayer.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Take some time to worship God and praise Him just for being Him. Contemplate how high and holy He is and how lowly you are in comparison. Think about, and thank Him for some of His attributes that we find in Scripture- His goodness, justice, compassion, omnipotence, wrath, mercy, and grace. You might even want to sing a hymn or song – like “Holy, Holy, Holy” or “God Is So Good” – that focuses on God’s holiness or other attributes.

Your kingdom come,

Do you long for Christ to return? It’s OK to tell Him that and to take some time to focus on the joy that will be ours in eternity. Christ is coming back (hopefully today!) to gather His people, weary of this sin sick world, to Himself. But remember, He will ONLY be taking people who know Him as Savior and Lord. Is there someone you need to share the gospel with? Someone you desperately desire to see saved? This is a great time to pray for that person and ask God to give you the opportunity, and the right words, to share with her.

Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

In Heaven, God is always glorified, always praised, and always obeyed. Wouldn’t it be great if that were the case on earth? Well, it’s not, because of sin. Is there an area of obedience you’re struggling with? Ask God to help you with it. Pray that God will help your children to be obedient to you and your husband. Pray that God will strengthen your husband’s obedience to Him in his areas of weakness. Pray that your loved ones, boss, and elected officials will make the decisions God wants them to make. Ask God to guide your pastor, elders, and church members, and pray that they will be obedient to His word and His leading.

Give us this day our daily bread,

Here, we recognize and thank God that He is our provider. Even the smallest things in life, like a simple loaf of bread, only come to us because God provides them. He wants us to put our trust in Him, not a paycheck, for our needs. A great passage to go along with this verse is Philippians 4:6-7:

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God doesn’t want us to worry about the things we need. He wants us to trust Him. When we take our needs to Him in prayer, we are declaring our trust in Him to take care of us – in His way and in His time – and that is where our peace comes from.

Notice, too, the words “this day” and “daily” in this verse. They show us that prayer is an all day, every day affair. God wants us to keep coming back to Him in prayer again and again. It helps us recognize our dependence on Him.

These words also help us to focus our prayers on what we need today. It’s OK to pray about future events, but sometimes focusing on future “what ifs” can tempt us to worry, and, as Jesus says later in Matthew 6, “do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (34)

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Repentance time. Did you notice that this verse (12) is the culmination of a sentence that began in the previous verse (11)? “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us…” Repentance for our sin and asking God to forgive us is also also an all day, every day affair. But, praise God, so is His mercy to forgive! Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Take this time to confess your sin and ask God to cleanse you and forgive you. And be sure to ask Him to show you any bitterness you may be harboring in your heart against someone. Forgive that person and ask God to help you make things right with her. Consider the magnitude of your sin against God. If God has forgiven you of your sin against Him, who are you to hold a grudge against someone who has sinned against you?

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Sin. It’s always lurking around just waiting to ensnare us again, isn’t it? Think about the sins you struggle with. Ask God to show if there are any changes you can make in your life to stay away from temptation to those sins. Pray that He will strengthen you to be obedient to Him when you can’t avoid tempting circumstances, and ask Him to show you the godly way out of every situation, which He has promised to provide. Pray for God’s protection from evil people or circumstances and ask Him to protect your family and church.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

The KJV includes this phrase at the end of the Lord’s prayer, but it isn’t in the earliest and most reliable biblical manuscripts (from which modern versions such as the ESV are translated). But since its meaning and intent is thoroughly supported by other Scriptures, there’s certainly no harm in including it as part of the model for your prayer time.

Acknowledge and thank God for His sovereignty over all things, His power, His glory, and His eternality. Ask Him to help you live in such a way that others will see these attributes of His. Submit yourself to Christ and pray that God will help you to follow Him humbly and honorably.

Eyes open or closed? On our knees or not? Jesus didn’t address those kinds of things, so we have a certain amount of liberty in those secondary issues. Jesus’ desire is that we stay in constant communion with Him in prayer, humbly honoring Him, praising Him, thanking Him, repenting of sin, and depending on Him for our every need. So, let’s pray then, like this.

Additional Resources:

Articles on Prayer

Sweet Hour of Prayer Bible Study

Episodes about Prayer at A Word Fitly Spoken

Sanctification, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ Six Cliches Christians Could Can (Or at Least Re-think)

March 10, 2016March 9, 2016 Michelle Lesley

Originally Published March 29, 2014

Have you ever noticed we use a lot of expressions without giving much thought to their origin or what they really mean? For example, why do we use the phrase, “in a (pretty) pickle” to mean “experiencing a difficult situation”?

Here are six cliches we often use as Christians that could stand to be replaced or at least re-thought:

1. Preach the gospel. If necessary, use words.
It’s necessary. Use words. While our behavior should certainly prove out our testimony, nobody’s going to see us working at a soup kitchen or eschewing barhopping and somehow magically understand that he has broken God’s law and needs to repent and put His faith in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection for the forgiveness of his sin unto eternal life. That has to be explained. Clearly. By us. From the Bible. With words.

2. Rest in peace/God rest his soul
If the person who died was saved, he’s already resting in peace by the time you can get these words out. (2 Corinthians 5:6-8)

If the person who died wasn’t saved, unfortunately, he’s in a place of eternal torment and suffering, and no amount of asking God to rest his soul will give him a respite. Worse, when Christians say this about someone they know was not saved, they reinforce the false idea many lost people have that the dead are “resting” in some sort of spiritual coma, or that they simply cease to exist (annihilationism) , or that everybody automatically goes to Heaven (universalism).

Maybe “I’m praying for you,” or “I’m bringing you dinner,” would be better.

and speaking of which…

3. Sending positive thoughts/energy your way.
Thoughts and energy are not things you can wrap up in brown paper, haul down to the post office, and mail to somebody. You can’t send them and the other person can’t receive them, and they can’t actually accomplish anything, and everybody knows this. But, commendably, atheists, New Agers, and other non-Christians wanted to have something compassionate to say to people who are hurting, and since they can’t say, “I’m praying for you,” this is the best they can do.

Christians, we’ve got something better. We can say, “I’m praying for you.” We have an open line to the almighty God of the universe who is listening to us and can actually do something about the situation. Pray for that hurting person. Put your arms around her. Listen to her. Do whatever you can to help. Show her Jesus, not empty words.

4. Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship.
The only people running around today saying that Christianity is not a religion are Christians. Everybody else in the world considers Christianity a religion. And up until this little humdinger materialized, so did Christians.

Usually, what people mean by this is that true Christianity is not an institutionalized system of rote obedience to dead and meaningless rituals. It’s a reconciliation with the only true God by means of being redeemed by His Son, Jesus Christ, who propitiated and expiated God’s wrath against us in our sin through His death, burial, and bodily resurrection, and is, therefore, a dynamic and living interpersonal relationship.

But that’s too long to fit into a tweet or a hashtag.

Our relationship with God through Christ is our religion- the only true religion. And that’s not a bad thing.

5. Don’t judge someone just because he sins differently than you do.
I find this one confusing, but I think the sentiment behind this is something along the lines of, “I may be an adulterer, but you’re not any less of a sinner just because you only tell the occasional white lie. Therefore, you have no right to call me to repentance.”

This is a lovely casserole of simultaneous truth and falsehood, and it all hinges on the word “judging,” which has been tossed around so much that even Christians scarcely know what it means anymore. No, we’re not to berate someone for his sin while pompously pretending we’re sin-free. All have sinned, after all, and if we say we have no sin, we lie. But does that mean we should never call anyone to repentance? Of course not! We’re to walk in repentance ourselves and seek to help the lost find forgiveness in Christ and help our Christian brothers and sisters who have fallen into sin to be reconciled to Christ. Scripture doesn’t say we can never call people out of sin because we have a log in our own eye. It says first remove the log and then help your brother.

6. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.
This is actually true, it’s just that our idea of a “wonderful plan” doesn’t always match up with God’s idea of a “wonderful plan”.

Our desire is to be healthy, wealthy, and blissfully comfortable with never a family problem, fender bender, lost love, or bankruptcy. God’s desire is for us to be holy. He wants to root the sin out of our lives, show us how to be completely dependent on Him, lead us to trust Him more, build our character and endurance, give us boldness to share the gospel, make us kinder and more merciful, teach us what it means to extend grace and forgive. Most of those lessons are learned only through hardship and suffering. Just ask the apostles or the early church martyrs or our brothers and sisters being persecuted across the globe today.

What are some expressions Christians commonly use that you think we should replace or re-think?

Prayer, Sanctification, Throwback Thursday, Worship

Throwback Thursday ~ Great Expectations

February 4, 2016February 2, 2016 Michelle Lesley

Originally published February 6, 2014

Do we expect too much from God? Is that even possible?

No.

Yes.

Well, kinda.

You see, I’m not talking about expecting something and God being unable to deliver it. That’s just plain silly when talking about our omnipotent God. No, what I’m talking about is whether or not the expectations we come up with are grounded in biblical reality.

What do we mean when we talk about “praying expectantly” or coming to a time of corporate worship, study, or prayer, and “expecting God to do something”? Just what is it we are expecting God to do?

Could it be that He’s already doing something and we’re just not seeing it?

Sometimes, when we read God’s word, we expect God to do something just as “big” as He did in Moses’, Paul’s, or some other Bible hero’s life. We forget that the Bible is sort of like a “highlight reel” of the events in the lives of a handful of people that God drafted to be part of His visible activity at that moment in history.

We focus on the moments Moses had at the burning bush or walking through the Red Sea, and that’s what we want, too. But we forget that Moses’ life wasn’t like that every day. We forget about the eighty years he spent wandering around the desert, half in the day to day monotony of shepherding on the back side of Midian, the other half, wandering around the wilderness with the people of Israel.

Eighty years of nothing special. Day after day of ordinary. Week after week of God not “showing up” and doing something amazing. Eighty years. That’s a lifetime for most of us.

Was God any less at work in Moses’ eighty years of desert wandering than He was when He gave Moses the Law or spoke to him face to face or sent manna? Of course not. During those days, God was protecting Moses from the heat and wild animals, providing food and shelter for him, blessing him with a wife and children, directing his steps, teaching him obedience and trust.

Just like He does for us.

Have you read a Bible passage this week that allowed you to see more of God’s glory? God is doing something. He’s revealing Himself to you.

Are you praying for someone’s salvation? God is doing something. He’s working on the heart of that person.

Did you have a place to sleep last night and food on your table today? God is doing something. He’s providing for your needs.

Do you leave church on Sundays having been fed the truth of God’s word by your pastor? God is doing something. He’s growing you to spiritual maturity.

Is it possible that we’re expecting God to do something in our lives that isn’t in His particular plan for us? You aren’t Moses, and neither am I. Neither were the million or so other Israelites Moses led out of Egypt, and neither have the billions of other people been who have inhabited earth since Creation. Moses was Moses. You are you. God doesn’t have the same plan for your life He had for Moses’ life.

And, by the way, have you ever noticed that most of the people in the Bible through whom God did something “big” were not expecting it or asking for it? Moses wasn’t expecting God to show up in that burning bush. David wasn’t asking God to do great things in his life when Samuel dropped by to anoint him as the next king. Both of them were hanging out with the sheep when God called them. Paul thought he was already an awesome servant of God when he got knocked off his high horse. Mary wasn’t expecting to be expecting. She was just a teenage girl growing up and learning how to run a household.

1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12 says:

But we urge you, brothers to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

That’s what all of those Bible characters were doing when God chose them. Just regular people living regular lives doing regular work. Just like billions of other people through whom God has not chosen to do anything big and spectacular.

But that doesn’t mean God hasn’t been “doing something” in all of our lives. In fact, the vast majority of the work God does in our lives every single day goes unnoticed and unappreciated.

So, instead of setting our expectations on those very rare “wow factor” works of God that seem so appealing, maybe we should be asking Him to open our eyes to, and make us thankful for, all of the things He’s already doing in our lives. Instead of having great expectations of things that God has never promised us, maybe we should ask Him for, and expect Him to, do what He has promised:

Forgiveness for our sin

Christ-likeness

Provision for our needs

Endurance

The ability and opportunity to help others

Faithfulness

Humility

Patience

The opportunity to share the gospel

Because “all the promises of God find their Yes in him.” You can expect it.