Category: Mailbag

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Help! There’s a pushy lady at my church!

Michelle Lesley

Originally published October 30, 2017

There is a lady in my church who has become very involved in a certain form of parachurch Christian ministry. She is extremely gung ho about it and pressures church members to participate. She has also organized a conference, bringing in speakers from the national level of the ministry. The elders/pastors approved it, but there is some disagreement about bringing in outside speakers, charging attenders so much for tickets, and the fact that it is mainly drawing people from outside our church who are already involved in this ministry, not necessarily discipling our own church members, yet our church members bear the work of the conferences.

We, her friends, have watched her continue to insistently push this ministry agenda. She freely admits to being pushy and asks us to keep her accountable, but she continues to push and becomes frustrated when challenged. I have met with her one on one and discussed this, and she now avoids me. I guess my question is, is it right/OK for me to now keep my distance from her? Is it OK for a woman to push a ministry agenda in the church?

Every once in a while a situation arises at church that leaves you feeling like, “Church is great…except for the people.” I’ve felt that way many times over the years, and I’m certain many people have felt that way about me. Personality conflicts at church can be difficult to deal with, but they’re a great “homework assignment” from God that – if we approach them biblically – can help grow us and the other person in Christlikeness. Let’s take a look at some of the aspects of this reader’s situation.

Doctrinal clarity on the ministry:
I think the first question on the minds of many of those reading this article is going to be, “What kind of parachurch ministry is this?”. Because, if it’s a ministry that centers around false doctrine or is led by false teachers, that’s your answer right there.

I edited out references to the particular ministry the woman is involved in a) to protect my reader’s anonymity and b) because the reader assures me the issue isn’t the ministry itself, it’s the agenda pushing. I’m very familiar with this specific parachurch ministry. It’s doctrinally sound. The situation would be similar to someone getting very involved in pro-life ministry, for example.

Doctrinal clarity on the behavior:
From what the reader has described in her e-mails, the woman’s behavior, while annoying and possibly concerning, does not sound like it has reached the level of actual sin. The parachurch ministry is doctrinally sound, and she thinks it would be beneficial to her church. She has received approval from church leadership. It doesn’t sound like she’s being deceptive in any way or doing anything the Bible clearly prohibits; she’s just very excited about this ministry and wants others to be as excited and on board as she is. That’s not sin, it’s just off-putting to others who aren’t interested. We need to be clear on the biblical fact that just because somebody does something that aggravates us doesn’t necessarily mean it’s sin. And if it’s not sin, it shouldn’t be treated as though it were. (I’m not saying the reader is doing that, just a general concept all of us should be mindful of.)

Church leadership:
If this woman is bringing in conferences, speakers, and other events that utilize the church facility, she’s not doing it without the approval of the pastor and/or someone in leadership. What that means is, as much as other church members may not like it, the buck stops with the pastor/elders, and they have given their approval to the activities thus far. If they are having a problem with this woman being pushy with them, it is their responsibility as pastors and elders to sit down with her and put a stop to that. If the pastor/elders are aware of, and have a problem with ticket prices, church members doing all the work, and the other problems you mentioned, it is their job to address that. I understand your concerns, dear reader, and having dealt with people like this before, I certainly empathize, but if you insert yourself between this woman and the elders – regarding her pushiness with them or issues it’s their responsibility to address – you run the risk of becoming pushy yourself and stepping in where you don’t belong.

If you think the pastor and elders are unaware of pertinent information regarding this situation, talk to your husband about it, and pray together for wisdom as to if and how you, he, or both of you should approach them with the information, remembering that, as a godly wife, you need to respect and defer to your husband’s decision. If the pastor and elders receive the information and continue to approve the parachurch ministry conferences and activities, then your disagreement is with the pastor and elders, not the woman pushing the agenda.

Body parts:
You’ve asked if it’s OK for a woman to push a ministry agenda in the church. No, it’s not. It’s not OK for men to do so either. First Corinthians 12 compares church members to the various parts of the body. While “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,'” neither can the hand say to the eye, ear, nose, foot, mouth, etc., “You have to be a hand, just like me.”

It is absolutely fine to be excited about a ministry or a project at church and to invite and encourage people to participate in it, but crossing the line from inviting and encouraging to pressuring and badgering is not appropriate, biblical, or loving. It puts your brothers and sisters in the awkward position of either having to knuckle under and do something they don’t really want to do in order not to hurt your feelings, or having to say no and run the risk of hurting your feelings. It ends up making the decision to serve in a particular ministry all about you, the pushy person, rather than about whether or not God wants that person in that ministry at this time. And not only should we not be basing our decisions about whether or not to serve on pleasing man rather than on pleasing God, it is unloving and unkind to back a brother or sister into a corner, forcing them into a no-win situation. If you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, you’ll want them to serve because they’re convinced God wants them to serve, not because you want them to serve.

Woman to woman:
As far as your personal relationship with this woman goes, it sounds like you have tried to reach out to her and help her, which is commendable. We all have weaknesses, and it sounds like this lady’s weakness might be lack of self-awareness and social skills. Sometimes, no matter how gently and lovingly we approach someone about a personal issue, she will get defensive or avoidant. Maybe she just needs some time to settle down. People rarely stay at fever pitch about something forever.

Is it OK for you to keep your distance from her? Well, I don’t think you need to proactively pursue spending time with her, but I also don’t think you should avoid any of your normal church activities that would bring you into contact with her. And, of course, you should be kind and loving to her when you see her in passing. If she continues to press you about the ministry whenever she sees you, there’s nothing wrong with politely changing the subject or excusing yourself. And if she wants to know what’s going on, just kindly and lovingly be honest with her. For example: “Jane, I’m so glad you’ve found a ministry you’re excited about and enjoy, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Maybe we could talk about other things when we get together?”

Sanctification:
As I said in the beginning of this article, personality conflicts in the church aren’t easy to deal with, but if we submit to God and His Word in the situation, they can be very sanctifying.

When I have to deal with a Christian I find difficult it helps me to remember a few things. First, this is a sister in Christ, made in the image of God. God knit her together in her mother’s womb, breathed the breath of life into her, and bled and died on a cross for her sins just like He did for me. We are all sinners, and we all have various personality issues that sometimes rub others the wrong way. Second, for every person I run into who bugs me, there are probably a dozen who are bugged by me. I’m not any better than the person I’m dealing with just because I don’t bug people the same way she does. I also try to keep in mind that Jesus had to deal with a lot of difficult people during His earthly ministry. And, while I frequently fail, I do my best to follow His example of how to treat people.

The people we’re in membership with at our local church are our family. Every family has a crazy grandma or a know it all uncle or a cousin who constantly drops the ball. But we don’t just give up on family because they annoy us. Pray – daily and fervently – for those crazy, annoying, frustrating, challenging brothers and sisters at your church. Pray that God will help you love them the way they need to be loved. Consider setting aside some time to just sit and listen to them pour out their hearts. Many people act out simply because they feel invisible, lonely, and unheard. Be patient with them. Be kind. Do something unexpectedly generous and loving for them. Exercise forbearance. Find a way to help. Scripture after Scripture shows us it’s God’s will for us to love the unlovely, just like we want others to love us when we’re unlovely. This is one of the reasons why we’re in the church.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Marriage

The Mailbag: Can I share the gospel with my unsaved husband?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published July 9, 2018

I was brought up to believe that women win their unsaved spouses by actions, not words, because of dissension in the the home and that sort of thing. Would love your thoughts.

One of the most difficult and stressful situations a Christian woman can walk through is being married to someone who is not saved. Sometimes this happens because husband and wife are both unsaved when they get married and the wife gets saved later. Sometimes it happens because the wife (and sometimes the husband, too) think the husband is saved and it later becomes obvious that he is a false convert. And sometimes what happens is that a spiritually immature Christian woman goes into marriage knowing her husband isn’t saved, and she either doesn’t care or she thinks she’ll change him right away.

Single ladies, please take heed and take this to heart: know your man well, spiritually, before you get married. While it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty whether or not another person is saved, do your best. Make sure this is a man who can be the spiritual leader of your home – a man who will make wise and godly decisions, who intends to parent biblically, who is able and eager to lead your family in Bible study and prayer, and who is committed to faithfully attending and serving the local church. Many women who went into marriage thinking these things would somehow take care of themselves can tell you from sad experience that the issues you and your husband have before marriage will only get worse after marriage.

That’s the best way to answer the reader’s question: prophylaxis. Prevent the problem before it happens.

That said, God is the One who decides when you get saved, and if you and your husband weren’t saved when you got married, but you are now, praise God for that! What a wonderful thing that He saved you and that He has placed a 24/7 witness to the gospel in your husband’s life!

If you ever feel alone in having an unsaved husband, take comfort and think about all the ladies in the first century when Christianity was brand new. Many, if not most, Christian women were in your situation. They worried and agonized over their husbands’ salvation just like you do. In fact, it was such a common situation in the early church that Paul and Peter each dedicated part of their writings to instructing and encouraging wives about walking out their faith in a marriage to an unsaved husband:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 1 Peter 3:1-6

 

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy…For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Corinthians 7:13-14,16

I believe the reader’s question focuses in on 1 Peter 3:1:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

If we isolate this verse from its immediate context of surrounding verses, the context of the book of 1 Peter, and the context of the New Testament, it seems to say that a wife can win her husband to Christ simply by her Christlike behavior with no need to ever open her mouth and share the gospel with him. However, if we take a step back and even just think about it logically for a minute, we know that can’t be what this verse is saying.

Think about how you came to saving faith. Did you get saved exclusively by watching someone act humbly, patiently, lovingly, etc.? Or did someone explain to you that you were a sinner in need of repentance, that Christ paid the penalty for your sin on the cross, that He rose again on the third day, and that if you placed your faith in Him, He would cleanse and forgive you and give you eternal life? Those are things you can’t get just by watching someone behave kindly and lovingly. They have to be explained by a friend, a sermon, a tract, the Bible, or some other use of words. (This is what’s problematic with the old cliché “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” Words are always necessary for explaining the gospel.)

Next, let’s think about the context of the New Testament at large as well as 1 Peter. Can you think of any instances in which Christians are told to share the gospel with anybody simply by modeling good behavior? No. The iconic evangelism passage, the Great Commission, tells us to “make disciples…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” You have to talk to people, and maybe even use books or other written materials – with words – in order to teach and disciple. The theme of 1 Peter itself is largely, “Walk in holiness, a) because it’s the godly thing to do, and b) because it could open a door for you to share the gospel with others.” Peter never suggests that godly behavior is the stopping point of evangelism, only the starting point.

Another great example is the account of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch. The Ethiopian eunuch was actually reading a gospel passage from the Bible, when Philip arrived on the scene. “Do you understand what you’re reading?” Philip asked. “How can I unless someone explains it to me?” he answered. At that point, Philip did not put on a little skit of good works for the Ethiopian to watch, he climbed into the chariot beside him and explained the gospel from Scripture.

The 1 Corinthians 7 passage adds clarity as well, indicating that God has essentially placed a saved wife and mother in her family to be a missionary to her husband and children.

Now let’s think about this verse in the context of 1 Peter 3:1-6. If you look at those six verses as a set, what is the main idea of the passage? It’s not witnessing, it’s being winsome. Through Peter’s pen, the Holy Spirit is helping women to see that godly behavior sets a gorgeous table from which the main dish of the gospel can be appetizingly served. Don’t be confused – it’s not about dressing like a supermodel dripping with jewels; that’s not what’s going to have the most profound impact on a husband’s heart – it’s about being beautiful from the inside out. Your character, your demeanor, your submission and self-sacrifice, “a gentle and quiet spirit.” That’s the focus of this passage – laying the foundation – so that when an opening presents itself to share Christ with your husband, the gospel is adorned with your grace and godliness instead of your behavior and attitude being an impediment to his receiving the good news.

The primary characteristic of having a “gentle and quiet spirit” is trusting God. And that plays into this passage too, because the scariest and weightiest thing you’re going to have to trust God with is your husband’s salvation. God has to save your husband in His good time just like He saved you in His good time. You cannot convince, lecture, or nag him into the kingdom of God, even though it will be tempting to try because you want it so badly.

That’s another application of this passage that can be very comforting and helpful. Maybe when you first got saved, you were so eager for your husband to know Christ that you harped at him constantly about it. You overwhelmed him with the gospel to the point that he said, “Please stop talking to me about that.” This passage in 1 Peter reassures you that it’s OK to back off. You’ve shared the gospel with your husband. He’s heard it. Until or unless a moment comes when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Holy Spirit is intensely working on your husband’s heart, he’s “ripe for the picking,” and he needs you to pray with him or explain the gospel again, your job is over. It’s the Holy Spirit’s turn. Stand aside and don’t get in the way of the work He’s doing through the gospel seed you’ve planted, your prayers for your husband, and your godly behavior.

God can save your husband even if you’ve messed up and said the wrong thing. God can save your husband even if you don’t say that “one more thing” you think will push him over the edge of salvation. Yes, share the gospel with your husband, but realize that God does not place the burden of saving your husband on your shoulders. Only Christ is strong enough to bear that burden. Rest in that, trust Him, and walk obediently. You are not responsible for saving your husband. God is.

“But what about the Bible’s prohibition against women teaching men?” some readers might be wondering. “Wouldn’t that preclude women from sharing the gospel with their unsaved husbands? And is it OK for Christian women to share something biblical or theological they’ve learned with their Christian husbands?”

This question refers to the prohibition in 1 Timothy 2:11-3:7 against women pastoring, preaching, instructing men in the Scriptures, and holding authority over men in the gathered body of the church. A private discussion at home between you and your husband is not the gathering of the church, so this passage does not apply. I’ve answered this question in more detail in this article (second question) and this article (second question).

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs

Michelle Lesley

Originally published September 7, 2020

I get lots of great questions, and sometimes, they’re the same questions from lots of different people. So I thought today it would be fun, instead of answering just one person’s question, to answer lots of people’s questions. Here are the top 10 Mailbag questions readers most frequently ask:

1.

“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”

The best way to find out if I’ve written anything on a particular teacher is to put her name (make sure you spell it correctly) into the search bar, which is located at the bottom of every page of the blog. You can also check the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab and the Recommended Bible Teachers tab (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) to see if the teacher’s name is located there.

If you need answers on a certain teacher right away, and I haven’t written anything about her, you will need to do the research yourself, which is a skill every Christian needs to hone anyway. (You should never just take my, or anybody else’s, word for it that a particular teacher is or isn’t trustworthy.) In case you need a little help getting started, I’ve described how I do my research, complete with some quick litmus tests and shortcuts in my article Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring It Out on Your Own. 

If I haven’t written an article about a teacher you see as problematic who’s reaching a wide audience, you’re welcome to send me her name along with any links you may have to her unbiblical teaching or behavior. If I get enough questions about a particular teacher, I’ll probably write an article on her.

2.

“Can you recommend a good
women’s/children’s/teens/particular topic Bible study?”

No. On principle, I do not recommend what I call “canned” (book, workbook, DVD, etc.) Bible studies- not even doctrinally sound ones. The church has become so utterly dependent on books and materials written by others that the majority of evangelicals have no idea how to simply pick up the Bible and study or teach straight from the text of Scripture. I may be the only one to stand against that tide, but I’m standing against it. We need to, as a general practice, cut out the middleman and get back to learning and teaching straight from the Bible itself.

If studying or teaching directly from Scripture is new to you, I would encourage you to check out the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, which explains more about my philosophy of Bible study and provides numerous resources to help you learn how to study or teach the Bible itself.

One of the resources you’ll find is all of the Bible studies I’ve written. They are all free for individual and group use, and you are welcome to print out as many copies as you need. My studies are learn-by-doing “training wheels” that teach you: how to study/teach the Bible in a systematic way, the kinds of things you should be noticing in the text, the kinds of questions you should be asking of the text, and how the various parts of the Bible fit together to tell God’s grand story of redemption through Christ. Work through a study or two. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be ready to unbolt those training wheels and study or teach on your own without needing to rely on anyone else’s materials any more – even mine.

Here are a few additional resources:

The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?

The Mailbag: “We need to stop relying on canned studies,” doesn’t mean, “We need to rely on doctrinally sound canned studies.”

McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word

3.

“You shouldn’t be warning against [popular false teacher]
for [X,Y,Z] reason!”

Sorry, but that’s not what the Bible says. The question isn’t, “Why am I warning against them?”. The question is, “Why aren’t you?”

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objections

4.

I’m trying to find a doctrinally sound church. Can you help me?

It is my delight to help my brothers and sisters find a solid church. Please check out the Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

If you’re newly saved and/or coming out of the New Apostolic Reformation, prosperity gospel, New Age, Catholicism, Mormonism, etc., I would strongly recommend reading through all of the resources in the “What to look for in a church” section of that tab before beginning your search for an actual church. You need to know what makes a church doctrinally sound (or not), and those resources can help.

Notice that there are multiple church search engines at the top of that tab. If you don’t find something in your area at the first search engine, go to the next one, and keep going until you’ve exhausted all of them.

Keep in mind that doctrinally sound churches are becoming scarcer and scarcer. You may have to drive longer than you’d like to get to one. It may not meet all your preferences. You might have to try a different denomination than you’re used to. The most doctrinally sound church you can find within achievable driving distance may have a few biblical “warts” (for example: a generally solid preaching/teaching church but the women’s ministry uses materials by false teachers). It is possible that God may put you in that less than perfect church to sanctify you, or for you to help bring about biblical change.

Sometimes people e-mail me asking if I can help them find a church. Your best bet is really to use all of the resources at the “Searching for a new church” tab. I want to reassure you that, unlike Walmart, I don’t have any churches in the back store room that haven’t been stocked yet. With the exception of a handful of churches my readers have recommended that I haven’t had a chance to vet yet, everything I have is out on the shelves at that tab. :0) (I would also encourage everyone reading this – if you attend a doctrinally sound church, click the link above and see if your church is listed on at least one of the three most popular church search engines: Founders, G3, and/or Master’s Seminary church search engines. If not, talk to your pastor about submitting your church’s information to one or more of these so people can find you!)

If you’ve made a good faith effort at the “Searching…” tab and have exhausted all of the resources there, and you still can’t find a passable church within achievable driving distance, you have two options (one of which is not giving up on church and staying home): move to an area that has a solid, established church, or look into church planting.

If you’re considering moving for a church, do everything in your power to make sure that church is solid and is going to stay that way. Find out about their history. Watch their worship services online regularly for a few months. Set up a Zoom call with the pastor or elders, explain your situation, and “interview them”. Don’t be shy to ask any, and as many questions as you need to. You’re picking up your entire life and moving based on what they say. Churches are apostatizing at an alarming rate. The last thing you want to do is move somewhere for a church you thought was sound, only to have it take a turn toward sin or false doctrine six months after you get there.

Personally, I think church planting is the preferable option for at least two reasons. First, you don’t have to go through the hassle, logistics (“Will I be able to find a job in this new place?”), and emotional upheaval of leaving family and friends behind that comes with moving. Second, if you’re in an area where you can’t find a good church, neither can any of your neighbors. You could be the person God uses to bring a solid church to an area without a gospel witness. How amazing would that be? Pick up the phone or fire up your email and start contacting the church planting organizations listed. Explain your dilemma. Ask for their help. If none of the church planting organizations can help, contact the nearest doctrinally sound church, explain things to the pastor, and ask about his church planting a church in your area.

5.

The leadership at my church is kicking off a new Bible study using materials by a false teacher. What should I do?

It breaks my heart that this is, indeed, a frequently asked question. Please see my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?.

6.

My church uses …
or
I’m looking for a new church,
and I found one that’s really sound, except they use…
Bethel / Jesus Culture / Hillsong / Elevation music
or other music from heretical sources.
What should I do?

Please see my article The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing?. You can find information about Bethel, et al at the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Some other resources that may be helpful:

Why Your Church Should Stop Playing Bethel, Hillsong, Elevation and Jesus Culture

The Mailbag: False Doctrine in Contemporary Christian Music

7.

My friend is following a false teacher. How can I help her see this? 

Here are some resources that can help:

Words with Friends: How to contend with loved ones – at A Word Fitly Spoken (many additional resources linked here)

Words With Friends by Amy Spreeman

Clinging to the Golden Calf: 7 Godly Responses When Someone Says You’re Following a False Teacher 

8.

Whaddaya mean women can’t preach to men? Of course they can!

Again, sorry, but that’s not what the Bible says. I would strongly encourage you to read all of the articles in my Rock Your Role series, which examines the Scriptures dealing with the role of women in the church. (Remember, for Christians, God’s Word is our authority, not our feelings, opinions, and preferences.) I would suggest starting with these:

Jill in the Pulpit

Oh No She Di-int! Priscilla Didn’t Preach, Deborah Didn’t Dominate, and Esther Wasn’t an Egalitarian

Rock Your Role FAQs

The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism

9.

Why isn’t Teacher X listed at your Popular False Teachers tab?
Does the fact that she’s not listed mean she’s doctrinally sound?
Why isn’t Teacher Y listed at your Recommended Bible Teachers tab? Does the fact that she’s not listed mean she’s a false teacher?

Please understand that these are not comprehensive lists of every false teacher or doctrinally sound teacher in existence. There are thousands of both, so that would be impossible. Also, don’t jump to conclusions about any teacher who’s not on the list. The absence of a particular teacher’s name on either list says nothing definitive about whether or not I would recommend that teacher.

The articles I’ve written about false teachers have mainly been in response to readers inquiring about them. In other words, if you don’t see a particular teacher’s name on the list, it’s probably because I haven’t been asked about her, I’ve been asked about her but haven’t had time to get to it yet, or for one of the reasons below.

The teachers on the recommended teachers list are those I’ve personally listened to or read at enough length that I feel comfortable endorsing them. Most of the teachers on the list trend toward being Calvinistic/Reformed and cessationist because I believe this is the most biblically correct view of Scripture, and because, in my experience, those of these persuasions are generally more discerning about associating with false teachers, and more expository in their teaching. (Of course there are some non-Calvinist/Reformed pastors and teachers who are stellar in these areas. I’ve had the privilege of knowing a few personally.)

There are a few other reasons you might not see someone’s name on either the false teachers or the recommended teachers lists:

• My articles on false teachers are nearly always about teachers: who are well known (thus the “Popular” in “Popular False Teachers”), who women in my particular audience – average American evangelical women – are most likely to follow, and whose materials are being used in those average American evangelical women’s churches. It takes multiple hours of research to vet teachers, and I have to invest those hours into the teachers who are deceiving the greatest numbers women in my audience.

• I don’t tend to write articles on teachers who are so blatantly heretical and/or are so well known for being heretical that it should be obvious (unless I feel there’s some compelling reason to do so). This is why you won’t see, for example, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, or Nadia Bolz-Weber on the false teachers list. Kenneth and Benny are fairly well known for being prosperity gospel heretics, and a 30 second Google search should make it obvious to most Christians who aren’t already familiar with her that Nadia is a liberal heretic. And, again, your average American evangelical woman isn’t following people like this, and her church isn’t using their materials.

• Normally, I don’t write about contemporary teachers who are dead, especially if they’re not particularly popular with my demographic. This is why you don’t see names like Mother Teresa or David Wilkerson on the list.

10.

I have a dire and complicated family/marriage/church situation,
can you help me?
Can you mentor/disciple me?

I deeply wish I could answer “yes” to all of these inquiries. I’m a helper. I want to help people. But I also know that in most of these situations, I’m not the right person for the job. So my answer to these inquiries has to be “no”. I cannot engage in counseling or discipling/mentoring relationships via e-mail.

The first reason for this is that my primary duty before the Lord is to care for my husband, children, and grandchildren, to manage my household, and to be a faithful church member. That takes a lot of time and energy. And if you’ve ever read my e-mail policy, you know I don’t even have time to answer most of the e-mails I receive, let alone the time that’s required to properly disciple, mentor, or counsel someone through a difficult circumstance.

But the second reason I’m not the right person for the job is that all of these are the job of the local church. It’s not right for me to get between you and your pastor when you need counsel or between you and an older sister at your church when you need to be discipled. You need someone who can walk with you, face to face, for the long haul, through these situations. Relying on me would be cheating yourself out of connecting with the person at your church who could be there for you the best and help you the most.

And, finally, especially in dire counseling situations such as abuse, extreme marital problems, or complex issues at church, I’m not familiar with the laws and resources in your area, I’m only hearing your side of the story, I’m not getting all of the details, etc. Your pastor or an older sister at church is there. They can better help you navigate the intricacies of the situation and provide you with more effective solutions than I can.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Discernment, Mailbag

The Mailbag: “I Speak Jesus,” Charity Gayle, and How to Vet Christian Music

Michelle Lesley

Every time I hear “I speak Jesus over you” I cringe. I can’t exactly explain why. Is it scriptural??

No it’s not, which is why it makes you cringe. It’s pretending to be biblical and your John 10:5, 27 sheep ears know it’s not. Here’s why it’s not:

• There’s nothing in Scripture that tells us to do, or shows an example of anyone doing anything of the sort. The Bible speaks in terms of encouraging, teaching, preaching, exhorting, rebuking, reproving, and comforting others with the written Word of God. If that’s what the person using this phrase means, then that’s what she should say.

Christians should use biblical terminology for biblical concepts, not made up, mystic linguistics. But what “I speak Jesus over you” sounds like, and what she probably means is some sort of supernatural transaction in which she mystically, verbally pulls Jesus down out of Heaven and invisibly spreads Him out over you, like a tarp or an umbrella, to ward off evil spirits or negative circumstances. Sounds kinda pagan, and witchcrafty or incantationy doesn’t it? That’s because it is, which brings us to the second reason you’re cringing…

• You don’t hear doctrinally sound, biblical Christians saying this. This is a buzzword/phrase typical of New Apostolic Reformation heretics. You probably heard this from an NAR false teacher or someone you know who’s into NAR (Bethel, etc.) garbage. This is John 10 at work in your spirit again: Christ’s true sheep (genuinely regenerated Believers) know His voice – what His teaching of sound doctrine from Scripture sounds like – and they will not follow the voice of strangers (false teachers).

• It’s grammatically… incorrect stupid. We speak words. We can’t speak objects or people. It’s impossible. It makes no more grammatical sense to “speak Jesus” over someone than it does to “speak a frying pan” over her.

God ontologically wired human beings for language, and the structure and grammar that goes with it, and we intuitively know when something is linguistically whackadoodle, even if we can’t put our finger on why. That’s another reason you’re cringing.

So if someone said “I speak Jesus over you” to me, I’d have some questions:

• What do you mean by that?

• Where, in context and rightly handled, does the Bible teach us to do that?

• What is that supposed to accomplish, or what will the result of that be so I can watch for it?

People who use this kind of phraseology are going to have trouble coming up with answers to those questions, because “I speak Jesus over you” is not taught in Scripture and doesn’t even make logical or grammatical sense.

◦◦◦◦◦

I was asked this question publicly on X. Since I don’t listen to pop “Christian” music – and especially not “Christian” music of this theological caliber – I was not aware that I Speak Jesus is the title of a song by an artist named Charity Gayle. I misunderstood the lady who asked the question to mean that this is a phrase she’s heard people using in conversation (I’ve heard NAR people say similar things), so that’s the way I answered. After I answered, she informed me that it’s a song.

(Just a little aside here: I do try to keep abreast of things and people in evangelicalism, I promise, but there are so many things and so many people that it’s impossible. Followers often ask me brief questions with little context, use acronyms I’m not familiar with, vaguely allude to situations I’ve never heard of, etc., assuming I’ll know what they’re talking about. I’m very flattered that my followers think I’m up on everything that’s going on out there, but I just want to be perfectly transparent that I’m not. I can’t be. Sorry about that. So when you have a question, do have mercy on me and make sure I know what you’re talking about so I can give you an answer that will actually be helpful to you. I don’t want to be unhelpful. :0)

So now that I know it’s a song, I thought this would be a good opportunity to demonstrate for you, step by step, using I Speak Jesus as an example, how to vet the purportedly “Christian” music you might be listening to.

1.

You hear a song. It’s catchy. You like it. You’re kind of half paying attention to the lyrics, but nothing jumps out and slaps you in the face as overtly heretical, like “🎶 Ooo, ooo… the Trinity doesn’t exist…🎶” or “🎶 Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? YES, baby, YES! 🎶.”

2.

You listen again, this time paying attention to all of the lyrics. You still don’t hear anything overtly heretical. On the surface, everything seems like it aligns with Scripture, or at least doesn’t contradict it. In fact, you’re pretty sure you heard some theological words or part of a Bible verse in there, somewhere. It must be a biblical song, right? Not so fast, there, Skippy.

3.

🎶 Whoa, whoa… listen to the music…🎶 NOT. Turn the music off, get a text copy of the lyrics (It’s easy to do this by typing the title of the song, followed by the word “lyrics” into your preferred search engine.), slowly, carefully, and discerningly read the words, and compare them to rightly handled, in context Scripture.

Why read instead of listen? Because, whether you realize it or not, the music itself is impacting you. You wouldn’t have finished listening to the song the first time if you hated the music. It’s pleasing your senses, drawing you in, and dulling your objectivity*. You don’t need that distraction when you’re trying to be discerning. Additionally, listening to a song, no matter how slow the tempo, doesn’t give you the time you need to stop and ponder the words in light of Scripture, nor do you have all of the words in front of you at once.

*(Full disclosure: I gave the answer above to the lady on X about the phrase, “I speak Jesus over you” and went through the lyrics of this song two or three times before I listened to it, and even then I could feel a little tickle at the back of my brain going, “The music is great. Maybe the song isn’t so bad after all.” That’s probably exactly how Eve was feeling in the Garden when the serpent offered her that beautiful piece of fruit. And we all know how that turned out. It’s imperative that our brains, logic, and rational thought keep our feelings and senses in check when we’re trying to be discerning.)

Let’s look at the lyrics of I Speak Jesus:

I Speak Jesus

Verse 1:
I just wanna speak the name of Jesus
Over every heart and every mind
‘Cause I know there is peace within Your presence
I speak Jesus

Verse 2:
I just wanna speak the name of Jesus
‘Til every dark addiction starts to break
Declaring there is hope and there is freedom
I speak Jesus

Refrain:
‘Cause Your name is power
Your name is healing
Your name is life
Break every stronghold
Shine through the shadows
Burn like a fire

Verse 3:
I just wanna speak the name of Jesus
Over fear and all anxiety
To every soul held captive by depression
I speak Jesus

Refrain

Bridge:
Shout Jesus from the mountains
Jesus in the streets
Jesus in the darkness, over every enemy
Jesus for my family
I speak the holy name
Jesus, oh (oh)

Repeat bridge

Refrain

Repeat verse 1
Repeat bridge and refrain as artist desires

Performed by: Charity Gayle
Written by: Jesse Reeves, Dustin Smith, Abby Benton, Kristen Dutton, Carlene Prince, Raina Pratt
I Speak Jesus lyrics © Integrity’s Praise! Music, All Essential Music, For Me And My House Songs

OK, so what is the singer saying she wants to do here?
She wants to speak the name of Jesus.

Over whom?
Verse 1: Over every heart and mind (all people)
Verse 2: Over addiction itself (as a spirit or entity), or over people with addictions (it’s unclear)
Verse 3: Over fear and all anxiety (as spirits or entities), and over people with depression

Why?
Because she believes merely speaking the word “Jesus” taps into His power, healing, and life. She believes that speaking the word “Jesus” can break every stronghold; that the word “Jesus” will shine through the shadows and burn like a fire. (You’d have to ask the songwriters exactly what they mean by those last two metaphors, but I’m surmising that they mean something along the lines of, “Speaking the word ‘Jesus’ brings light to spiritual darkness.”)

Is this biblical?
No. Not in the way it’s being presented, as if the word “Jesus” is some sort of magic word you say, like “Abracadabra!” or “Hocus Pocus!” that – TA DAAAA! – magically makes things like addiction and depression disappear.

If saying the word “Jesus” did that, you’d see a lot more healing and peace and all the other things mentioned in the song happening, because a lot of people “speak Jesus” in vain a lot of the time. I mean, when was the last time you were watching a TV show and one of the characters blasphemously exclaimed, “J—s!”? Did that heal you of the flu or your gout? No, of course it didn’t.

To which Charity and the songwriters would probably reply, “Well, we didn’t mean it like that! We mean Christians speaking the name of Jesus over people with faith that doing so will heal them, bring them peace, etc.”.

Maybe so, but that’s not what they’re saying. The lyrics of the song imply that there is some sort of intrinsic power in the word “Jesus” itself. “Your name is power. Your name is healing. Your name is life.” The lyrics don’t give any other provisos other than the word passing someone’s lips.

But let’s grant them the benefit of the doubt that when they say “speak Jesus” they mean Christians speaking it with some sort of faith in what saying it will accomplish. Is that biblical?

No, it’s not. It is actually a violation of the third Commandment (taking God’s name in vain) and the laws and commands against practicing witchcraft, magic, and casting spells. Because that is exactly the way they’re using the name of Jesus – the same way witches cast spells. They’re attempting to speak words that harness supernatural power that doesn’t belong to them in order to exercise power and control over things that only God has power and control over.

And remember this little incident in Acts 19:11-19a?

And God was doing extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, 12 so that cloths or aprons were even carried from his body to the sick, and the diseases left them and the evil spirits went out. 13 But also some of the Jewish exorcists, who went from place to place, attempted to invoke over those who had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, “I implore you by Jesus whom Paul preaches.” 14 Now seven sons of one named Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. 15 And the evil spirit answered and said to them, “I recognize Jesus, and I know about Paul, but who are you?” 16 And the man, in whom was the evil spirit, leaped on them, subdued all of them, and utterly prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17 And this became known to all, both Jews and Greeks, who lived in Ephesus; and fear fell upon them all and the name of the Lord Jesus was being magnified. 18 Also, many of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices. 19 And many of those who practiced magic brought their books together and were burning them in the sight of everyone;

The magicians burning their books of spells in the fear of God in verse 19 demonstrates that they recognized that the Jewish exorcists “invoking the name of the Lord Jesus” (13) were doing essentially the same thing they were doing- casting spells. The magicians saw what happened to the exorcists and they didn’t want that to happen to them, too.

And invok[ing] over those who had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus (13) is exactly what I Speak Jesus is teaching. Go back up to “Over whom?” above. See how I’ve notated the lyrics “addiction,” “fear,” and “anxiety,” as “a spirit or entity”? There’s a reason for that. The NAR doesn’t teach sin like the Bible does. It doesn’t say, “You’ve committed the sin of drunkenness and you need to repent.” It says, “The spirit of addiction is on you and you need to be delivered from that spirit.” The NAR teaches that sin (and illness) happen because you’re possessed by, or at least influenced by, demonic spirits, and you need “deliverance” from those demons and spirits (Sounds an awful lot like the “exorcists” trying to drive out “evil spirits” in v. 13, doesn’t it?). This is not at all what the Bible teaches about sin (or illness either, for that matter). Here’s what God says about why we sin:

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully matured, it brings forth death. James 1:14-15

No demons. No evil spirits. You and I sin because our flesh wants to. Because our flesh craves and lusts after something unholy that we’re not supposed to have. “The devil made me do it,” was a Flip Wilson comedy routine, not biblical theology. We are responsible for our sin, not some demon or spirit.

This was funny at the time because everyone – even pagans – knew it was ridiculous. But this is basically what’s now being taught at New Apostolic Reformation “churches” all over the world.

The Bible does not teach us to “speak Jesus over” anyone or anything for the purpose of bringing about results (healing, peace, freedom from sin, conquering the enemy, etc.) that are strictly within the purview of God. If you want to see people set free from sin, fear, anxiety, depression, and addiction, the biblical thing to do is to call them to repent and believe the gospel.

Is this song biblical?
No. It teaches false doctrine and is completely unbiblical.

4.

Now, maybe you’re not so much with all this “right brain” stuff – artsy words and metaphors and such. You’re more of a “left brain,” analytical, “Just the facts, ma’am,” kind of gal. Or maybe you’re just looking for a faster way to find out whether a song is worth listening to in the first place.

I have good news for you. Assuming the artist in question is somewhat prolific, there’s often a faster and easier way to find out what you should or shouldn’t be listening to. And it’s also a more biblical way than vetting individual songs.

When the Bible deals with false teachers, it doesn’t teach us to sift through every article they’ve written or every sermon they’ve preached and keep what’s good and throw out what’s bad. (In common parlance, this is often referred to as “chewing up the meat and spitting out the bones,” and it is an unbiblical way of dealing with false teachers.) The Bible teaches us to stay away from them, altogether.

Romans 16:17-18– “Turn away from” or “avoid” them.
2 John 9-11– “Do not receive him into your house and do not give him a greeting”.
Titus 3:10– “Reject” a factious man.

Scripture teaches us to avoid that teacher completely. Avoid him as a person and every piece of content he has ever created. And that’s the model we should be following with Christian musicians as well. In the same way you wouldn’t listen to a “good” sermon from heretics like Bill Johnson or Steven Furtick, you shouldn’t be listening to “good” songs from doctrinally unsound or heretical musicians. And churches should definitely not be using music from heretical sources in their worship services.

Why Your Church Should Stop Playing Bethel, Hillsong, Elevation, and Jesus Culture

How do you find out who should be avoided? You examine the musician’s life, doctrine, and practices. If you need a little help, you can use the resource I’ve created for vetting teachers: Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring it Out on Your Own.

The first thing I would suggest looking for is any ties to Bethel, Hillsong, or Elevation – all households of heresy (New Apostolic Reformation / Word of Faith). Bethel practically holds a monopoly on the Christian music industry (Hillsong, not as much any more since all the scandals, but Elevation is still hanging in there as a wannabe.), so any evangelical musician seeking fame and fortune is going to be looking to hitch her wagon to Bethel’s star. So look for connections to Bethel and anyone with strong ties to Bethel, for example, Phil Wickham. But also look for connections to any musician or band that you know has bad theology. I’ve got a few listed here, but this is honestly not an area I keep current with, so you may need to bounce things off a discerning friend who is more in the know than I.

Is “I speak Jesus over you” a biblical concept? Nope. Is the song I Speak Jesus biblical? Nope. Keep being discerning as you decide which music and artists to listen to.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Politics

The Mailbag: How Should Christians Vote?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published November 5, 2018

Tuesday, November 5, is election day in the United States. How should Christians vote?

Voting is a privilege, and, for U.S. citizens, a right. I encourage you to use your vote as a godly influence by voting according to biblical principles. My answer to today’s Mailbag question is adapted from my 2008 article, How Should Christians Vote?

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November 5 is election day. How can we steward our vote in a godly way?

First things first. Christians, especially Christian women, should vote, if at all possible and if their consciences allow. Neglecting to vote would not only be an insult to the sacrifice of the dedicated men and women who have given their lives in the cause of freedom and suffrage over the years that we might have the luxury of having a voice in our governance, but voting is a gift from God. Should we treat this gift lightly by failing to exercise it?

If you have never had the opportunity to visit a country, such as those in the Middle East, in which basic freedoms and women’s rights are limited if in existence at all, I urge you to do so if at all possible. After I returned to the U.S. from a visit to the Middle East a few years ago, I realized just how much we take for granted what an enormous blessing it is that God has seen fit to place us in a land of liberty, abundance, and opportunity. When I vote, I see it as a way of returning thanks to God for the gift of freedom, and honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to secure our liberties.

When I vote, I see it as a way of returning thanks to God for the gift of freedom, and honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to secure our liberties.

For whom should Christians vote? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:31 that whatever we do, we should do all things for the glory of God. “Whatever” and “all things” includes voting. Christians should vote for the person they believe will bring the most glory to God. Considering the candidate options with which we’re often presented, this, at times, seems an impossible task.

How do we know which candidate to vote for? Like all other decisions in a Christian’s life, this one should be governed by God’s leading through prayer and Biblical principles. Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) to make a Godly decision.

Study the candidate’s platform and where he stands on each issue. Is he a proponent of anything that clearly conflicts with Scripture? Would he push to legalize or undergird things God calls sin such as abortion or sexual perversion? Does he support the persecution of Christians – denying us freedom of speech or assembly, and taking away the rights of Christians to run their businesses according to biblical principles?  Can we, as Christians– whose goal in life is supposed to be turning from sin and pursuing holiness – knowingly and intentionally disregard the fact that a candidate would work to further sin, rather than fight against it, and give him our support?

Sometimes we lean towards voting for the candidate who would benefit us the most, personally. Perhaps he has promised a tax cut for our particular bracket, or said he would improve the roads we use for traveling to work. In and of themselves, those are good things, but does his platform also include favoring things which would hurt others or be detrimental to the fabric of our society in general? In other words, should a Christian vote for something or someone who will benefit herself at the expense of harming others?

I don’t believe we can do that and remain true to Biblical principles such as:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; Romans 15:1-3a

The Bible calls us to the mindset and heart attitude of placing others ahead of ourselves, laying down our lives for others, and doing what’s best for others before we consider what’s best for ourselves.

The question of a candidate’s character is another issue for Christians to consider. Some Christians consider sitting out an election or voting for a third party candidate who has little to no chance of being elected because one of the two major candidates stands for ungodly policies while the candidate whose policies more closely align with biblical principles is a person of questionable character.

I completely understand this dilemma, and if you are strongly convicted that you should either not vote, or vote for a third party candidate, then you should certainly not violate your conscience. That being said, your conscience should be molded primarily by Scripture, but also by reasoning. If I might offer a few thoughts for your consideration:

  • Could you possibly cast a ballot for the major candidate of poor character with the perspective that you are not voting for him, but that you are voting against the major candidate with more ungodly policies? Or, could you go into the voting booth with the mindset that you are voting for policies, not a person?
  • Voting for a particular candidate does not mean, even in God’s eyes, that you agree with or endorse any sinful actions he has committed in the past in his personal life. You are hiring him to do a (secular) job. If you were interviewing someone to clean your house and you found out that, in the past, she had had an affair and divorced her husband, would hiring her mean that you approve of her past sin?
  • Consider the fact that the “moral” politicians of yesteryear may have been, in actuality, just as immoral as the “immoral” candidate currently on the ballot, but because the media and historians were more discreet and protective of politicians’ privacy back then, you just don’t know about their moral failings. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of politicians are/have been unsaved (just like the vast majority of people, period, are unsaved), and sinners gonna sin, even if you don’t know about it. You will never have the opportunity to vote for someone who isn’t a sinner. Every candidate has sinned in the past and will sin once in office.

If you’re unsure, could you take the perspective that you are not voting *for* a candidate, but *against* the candidate with the more ungodly policies? Or that you are voting for *policies,* not a *person*?

As is frequently the case these days, the person we vote for, believing he will make the most Christ-like decisions, loses the election. I don’t know about you, but I’m usually pretty disappointed when this happens.

I try to keep it in perspective, though. It’s within the realm of possibility that the person who won the election will get radically saved after taking office and make even more Godly decisions than the other candidate would have made. It’s also possible that he will unintentionally make the decisions God wants him to make for other reasons, such as political expediency or pleasing a particular special interest group. The Bible says in Proverbs 21:1, “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. “

Not only should we pray before we vote, but we have a Biblical mandate to pray for the winner after the election is over:

First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I Timothy 2:1-4

Above all, we must remember that, while this election and future elections may determine who will sit in the White House, the Congress, or the State House, they do not, nor will they ever, determine who sits on the throne of the universe as King.

While elections may determine who will sit in the White House, the Congress, or the State House, they do not, nor will they ever, determine who sits on the throne of the universe as King.

Please steward your vote in a godly way. Research the candidates, the issues, and the Scriptures, and vote for the people and proposals that are most aligned with biblical principles.

Please steward your vote in a godly way. Research the candidates, the issues, and the Scriptures, and vote for the people and proposals that are most aligned with biblical principles.

Additional Resources

Election 2020 – How Can Christians Vote Biblically? at A Word Fitly Spoken

The Mormon Moment: Can Christians Biblically Vote for a Mormon? (Depending on the candidates in your district, you may find the principles in this article from the 2012 Presidential election to be helpful.)

Does God expect Christians to vote? at Got Questions

Since God is totally sovereign over world leaders and events, why should we vote or be involved in politics? by John MacArthur

Christians and Politics: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 by John MacArthur

Principles for Voting by R.C. Sproul

Should Women Vote? at A Word Fitly Spoken

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.