Speaking Engagements

Report Back: Beautifully Rooted Among the Chaos Conference

I had such a wonderful time last weekend sharing with the delightful ladies of the Omaha, Nebraska, area at the Beautifully Rooted Among the Chaos women’s conference. The women’s ministry team from Providence Bible Church in nearby Gretna worked so hard and put on a lovely event that was enjoyed by all.

Photo credit: Lola Gomez, AP / The Dallas Morning News

Things got off to an iffy start Thursday as the first leg of my trip took me from Baton Rouge to Dallas to change planes. The recent ice storm had all of us concerned about flight cancellations and delays. I praise God for His omniscience in providing me what was originally supposed to be a four hour layover, because my first flight was delayed over an hour. But even with the delay, I still had plenty of time to grab some Chick-Fil-A and catch my breath before my next flight … which also ended up being delayed by about an hour. Considering all the problems the ice storm caused in an area that doesn’t often have to deal with such things, I thought DFW and American Airlines did a pretty good job with only one hour delays.

I finally made it to the airport in Omaha, where my wonderful hostess for the weekend, Trudy, and her husband, Ross, collected me and whisked me off to their lovely home. They treated me to a Nebraska favorite, Valentino’s pizza. So good!

After dinner, I was ready to crash. A lovely hostess gift bag full of Nebraska charm awaited me in Trudy and Ross’ well appointed guest room!

Trudy really studied up on me! She knew I love local goodies, that I never have much room in my suitcase to take gifts home with me, and that I’ve been collecting Christmas ornaments from the places I visit.
An A+ hostess! This is the kind of hospitality I aspire to!

Friday morning I had the luxury of sleeping in a smidge, plus a little time to get some work done, and snap a couple of photos. Trudy and Ross’ house backs up to a small lake that was partially frozen. Isn’t it beautiful in the winter sunshine?

Soon, it was time to head out for lunch with the event planning committee and then on to the conference site. Le Peep has not made its way to Louisiana yet, but we have a breakfast / brunch place that’s similar, so I knew it was going to be good. And, boy howdy, was it! If you ever happen upon a location, be sure to stop in and order everything on the menu. I had the Monte Cristo crepes. C’est magnifique!

After getting settled in at our hotel, it was conference time! The conference was held at Omaha’s Tiburon Golf Club. The view was picturesque and the staff was so helpful and accommodating.

The event planning committee did a superb job decorating and preparing the materials!

Our first session was Hooked on a Feeling: Living by Godโ€™s Word Instead of Our Feelings, and it was a great way to kick things off. Scripture is our authority as Christians, and we shouldn’t let our feelings lead us around by the nose.

I had a little trouble with my voice during the session, but the ladies were all so kind to pray me right through it, and the Lord quickly restored things to normal.

Saturday started with Rock Your Role at Home and at Church, followed by Teach What Is Good: Discipling Younger Women in the 21st Century. The ladies enjoyed their time of fellowship and encouraging one another in their discussion groups between sessions.

Next on the agenda was a hearty lunch of hamburgers or grilled chicken sandwiches. It was quite a repast!

Finally, we wrapped up the day with a great Q&A session. These ladies were so astute and asked some very thought-provoking questions!

Picture time with the ladies is always fun!

After another wonderful dinner with the conference planning committee, it was time to say goodbye. Many thanks to Trudy and Ross, Mary, Terri, Susan, Kim, and Skyler who prayed for me and the attendees every step of the way. They all worked so hard to host a fantastic conference, took care of all my needs, and made me feel so welcome.


If your church or organization is ever in need of a speaker for a womenโ€™s event, Iโ€™d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information.


Photo Credits

DFW and Valentino photos credited in captions.

Le Peep logo courtesy of Le Peep.

The photos with me in them were kindly sent to me by event planning committee members and attendees.

All other photos by Michelle Lesley

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Christians, the Bible, and Tattoos

Do you have any resources on tattoos? We’re having a very HOT discussion in our ladies group and it’s causing conflict.

Ya know, I thought for sure I had written something about that by now, but I guess not. So, here goes…

To me, tattoos are ugly as sin. I don’t care how beautiful the artwork is, or if it’s a Bible verse, or a tribute to someone you love. It reminds me of graffiti spray-painted on an overpass. I don’t understand why anyone would permanently mar her body that way, not to mention the fact that those things aren’t going to look so great when you’re in your 80’s and wrinkly. And, if you change your mind about your tattoo(s) later, it’s my understanding that they’re painful and expensive to remove. If anyone ever comes to me to ask my opinion about getting a tattoo, my answer will be an across the board, no matter what: don’t do it.

And you know what? None of that matters to this question, because it’s just my personal, subjective opinion and preference. So what? We want to know what the Bible says, because the Bible is our authority in life, not Michelle’s disdain of the aesthetics of tattoos. (Nor, for that matter, your opinion that tattoos are cool and groovy and pulchritudinous.)

What does the Bible say about getting a tattoo?

So what does the Bible say about getting a tattoo?

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

“But what about Leviticus 19:28? ‘You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.'”

I sure hope you don’t have pierced ears or that you’ve ever undergone surgery if you’re trying to make that verse say that the Bible prohibits tattoos as we know them today. Because if you have, according to your own hermeneutic, you’re just as guilty as the tatted teen down the pew from you.

Compare Leviticus 19:28 in several different trustworthy translations. Read the cross references. Read the whole chapter.

Look at the macro-context of this verse. It’s in the Old Testament. Right off the bat, our knee-jerk reaction should be, “This might not apply directly to New Testament Christians. I’d better look at it super carefully.”.

And indeed, we should. Because, not only is it in the Old Testament, it’s in the Old Testament law. And while we know that God’s moral law is transcendent (for all time), we also know that Jesus fulfilled the law, which is why the ceremonial (Old Testament worship) and civil (the government of the Old Testament nation of Israel) laws largely no longer apply directly to the everyday lives of Christians. I mean, look just one verse earlier, at Leviticus 19:27: “You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.”. The menfolk in your family keeping that one? OK, then.

At the time God breathed out this law, the rituals in Leviticus 19:28 (and also in verse 27) were pagan practices – likely originating or proliferating in Egypt or Canaan – associated with mourning the dead. Gashing one’s body was practiced by most pagan nations and was intended both to show respect for the dead and to intercede with the gods on behalf of the dead. Tattoos were associated with the names of particular pagan gods and were an indication that the tattooed person had permanently dedicated himself to the worship of that god.

So, look also at the micro-context of the phrases within verse 28. “You shall not make any cuts on your body” and “tattoo yourselves” are both connected to the phrase “for the dead”. That’s a modifier. This verse doesn’t mean “don’t pierce your ears or have a C-section” or “don’t tattoo a Bible verse on your arm”. It means don’t cut your body in this particular context: for the dead, because that’s paganism. Likewise, don’t tattoo yourself because that’s paganism, just like cutting yourself for the dead is. You’re God’s people, not pagans. Act like it.

So, does this verse apply to Christians, and, if so, how?

If you’re cutting or marring your body in order to mourn the dead, to plead with false gods on behalf of the dead, or to worship or dedicate yourself to false gods, you’re in sin. (Also, you’re almost certainly not saved.)

But that’s not typically why even lost people get tattoos these days.

The Christians I know who have gotten tattoos have usually done so because they thought the tattoo was aesthetically pleasing and/or because it was meaningful to them in some way (their favorite Bible verse, the names of their children or spouse, etc.).

Does the Bible prohibit artistic tattoos for such reasons? No. As much as you or I might not like them personally, the Bible doesn’t teach “Thou shalt not get a tattoo.”. And if you teach that it does, you’re lying about God’s Word. It’s OK to express your personal opinion that you don’t like tattoos. It’s not OK to tell someone else she’s sinning if she gets a tattoo or that Scripture says she can’t.

As much as you or I might not like them personally, the Bible doesn’t teach “Thou shalt not get a tattoo.”. And if you teach that it does, you’re lying about God’s Word.

There are, however, some Scriptures that might be related to getting a tattoo that you’ll want to consider and obey if you’re thinking about getting one:

  • If you’re a minor child who’s still under the authority of your parents, and they forbid you from getting a tattoo, you have to obey them.
  • If your husband doesn’t want you to get a tattoo, you need to submit to him.
  • Examine your heart. Why do you want to get a tattoo? Are your reasons worldly, or God-glorifying?
  • Is paying for a tattoo honoring God with your finances?
  • Is there any way in which getting a tattoo could harm your witness for Christ or be a stumbling block to someone?

Tattoos aren’t my personal cup of tea. And you know what? That’s just as OK as if tattoos are your personal cup of tea. I still love you just as much, and I don’t look down on you or pass judgment on you. (In fact with my nearly non-existent powers of observation, I probably won’t even notice you have one.) The Bible doesn’t allow for that. Assuming you’re obeying all of the Scriptures above, tattoos are an issue of Christian liberty.

Additional Resources

Can a Christian Get a Tattoo? by Todd Friel


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: “Who, exactly, are you?”

The following is the full text of an email I received, minus the signature. Below the full text, I’ve broken the email down (in bold) with my answers interspersed (in regular type).

Michelle Lesley,

Hello. I googled โ€˜false teachersโ€™ to see what all I could find in preparation for a sermon series on 2Peter, and I came across your website. After reading quite a bit more than I expected to about many men and women I have found to be spurious teachers, I began to wonder just who you are. I began to wonder just who you endorse when you have scrutinized so many people and found them wanting. The strange thing is that I can find no independent information about you-only what is available on your website. I have given up on finding anything about you that hasnโ€™t been approved by you and your staff. That leads me to wonder what other people have said about you that I cannot find it. While I am not in doubt on much of what I read on your site, I am concerned that by controlling all the information that comes to the average person trying to find out just who you are you are hiding something or you are doing your utmost to present the best image you can. That concerns me and influences how I interpret your information on the site. I donโ€™t care who you are, to be fully honest, I am only skeptical about someone who controls all the information available about them. No Wikipedia entry? Thatโ€™s rather odd for someone as outspoken about false teachers as you are. You seem rather solid on your position on those you have shared articles about or written criticisms on their behavior. You may be completely right in your assessments, but your lack of transparency through what I see as the throttling of information about you raises red flags as to your integrity. If I am wrong and there are independent articles providing unbiased biographical information, then I would appreciate a link.

Thank you (or your staff) in advance for your response,

Michelle Lesley,
Hello.

Hello. Thank you for getting my name right and for giving me this opportunity to say, for those who may not know, even though it’s right up there at the top of the blog, my name is, indeed, Michelle Lesley. Michelle has two L’s. Michelle is my first name, not Lesley or Leslie. Lesley is my real last name because Lesley is my husband’s surname. (I once had someone accuse me of having an anonymous Facebook page because she thought I was using my first and middle names rather than my first and last names.) “Lesley” is spelled with an “-ey” at the end, not an “-ie”.

I say all of this because it fascinates me that a not insignificant number of people can look at my name at the top of this blog, on Facebook, on Twitter (Instagrammers get a little more grace since my IG handle doesn’t include my full name), type MichelleLesley.com to get to my blog, or type MichelleLesley…@… .com to email me, and still begin their correspondence with “Dear Michele / Leslie / Lesley”. (And, no, with the number of people who do this, they can’t all be dyslexic.)

“Fascinates,” I said, not “angers”. I love y’all, and I’m sure I’ve gotten plenty of people’s names wrong myself. So I just thought I would throw that information out there for those who might not know. Howdy. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Michelle Lesley. :0)

I googled โ€˜false teachersโ€™ to see what all I could find in preparation for a sermon series on 2Peter, and I came across your website. After reading quite a bit more than I expected to about many men and women I have found to be spurious teachers, I began to wonder just who you are.

I’m Michelle Lesley. See above. If you want to know more about me, you can click on the Welcome & FAQs tab, the Bio tab, and the Statement of Faith tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. That’s what they’re there for.

I hope you found my materials helpful, but if I may say, I find it very odd that a pastor (I’m assuming from your reference to a “sermon series”) would write an email like this.

I began to wonder just who you endorse when you have scrutinized so many people and found them wanting.

I’m assuming you found the people I’ve “scrutinized” at the Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. How did you not see the Recommended Bible Teachers tab just under that? If you “wonder just who I endorse,” that’s where you’ll find the information you’re looking for.

The strange thing is that I can find no independent information about you-only what is available on your website.

What do you suggest I do about that? Call the Associated Press and demand that they do a story on me or something? It’s somehow my fault that I’m not famous or interesting enough for Time, or People, or Newsweek to come bang on my door and beg for an interview? Why are you complaining to me about this? Why don’t you go to whatever media outlet you consider credible and ask them why they haven’t published anything about me?

I have given up on finding anything about you that hasnโ€™t been approved by you and your staff.

“Staff”. I had a good laugh over that one for at least five minutes. I would love to have a staff, but I’m not Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer or somebody like that. This is a one woman operation, except for my husband, who manages my speaking engagements. I’m flattered, but you’re grossly overestimating me and the size of this ministry.

That leads me to wonder what other people have said about you that I cannot find it.

Really? I just Googled my name, and several of the hits included interviews I’ve done and things others have written about me.

But, again, how is it my fault nobody is interested in publishing whatever information it is you’re looking for about me? This is surreal, and definitely one of the strangest emails I’ve ever received.

While I am not in doubt on much of what I read on your site,

Then what’s your problem with “who I am”? My blog says who I am. Why do you doubt that part but not the rest of what’s on my site?

I am concerned that by controlling all the information that comes to the average person trying to find out just who you are

Originally, I thought maybe you were just new to the internet, but you clearly know how to Google, email, and navigate a blog. But anyone who’s technologically savvy enough to be able to do those things surely can’t think that I can “control all the information that comes to the average person trying to find out just who you are”. Do you really think I have control over Google results? And if I did, why wouldn’t I get rid of the ones that speak unfavorably of me?

…you are hiding something or you are doing your utmost to present the best image you can.

You caught me. I’m really a purple Martian here on earth to spy out all the best Cajun restaurants and steal their recipes because the food on Mars is terrible. That’s what I’m hiding. This women’s discipleship thing is just my cover so that reporters won’t find me and expose me for the thieving extra-terrestrial I am.

That concerns me and influences how I interpret your information on the site.

But you already said, “I am not in doubt on much of what I read on your site,” (above), so I can only take that to mean that the lack of outside sources reporting on who I am has influenced you to trust the information on my site.

I donโ€™t care who you are, to be fully honest,

If you don’t care, why did you take precious time out of your day to write this email?

I am only skeptical about someone who controls all the information available about them.

I don’t. I can’t. Nobody can. The reason you can’t find whatever information it is that you’re looking for about me is because nobody has published it – it does not exist – not because I’m “controlling” it.

No Wikipedia entry? Thatโ€™s rather odd for someone as outspoken about false teachers as you are.

Anybody out there want to write a Wikipedia entry on me so this gentleman’s curiosity will be satisfied?

You do understand, don’t you, that Wikipedia is one of the least reliable sources out there? That most high school teachers won’t even allow their students to use it as a source for papers? It’s editable by the public. Anybody can get on Wikipedia and say anything about anything or anybody.

Furthermore, although I’m flattered, you are again waaaaaaay overestimating my reach, and the general public’s and the visible church’s interest in false teachers. Guess who else doesn’t have a Wikipedia page? Chris Rosebrough. Justin Peters. Costi Hinn. Todd Friel. Gabriel Hughes. All of them have much larger platforms than I do, and most have been in discernment-type ministries for much longer than I have.

(And just for fun I checked a few other fairly “big” names in my theological circles. Guess what? Phil Johnson and Steve Lawson don’t have Wikipedia pages, either.)

You seem rather solid on your position on those you have shared articles about or written criticisms on their behavior.

You’d prefer I was wishy-washy about it? I don’t post gossip or things I’m not sure about. That would be wrong and unbiblical. Yes, I am absolutely solid on what the Bible says about the things and people I address.

You may be completely right in your assessments, but your lack of transparency through what I see as the throttling of information about you raises red flags as to your integrity.

Can somebody out there please explain to me how to “throttle” publicly available information about oneself? How can I get control of Google, Big Social, the internet, the media, Western Union, town criers, and carrier pigeons?

Because, come to think about it, there are a few slanderers out there whose articles and commentary about me I’d like to get rid of. So, somebody please tell me how to do it. I’ll just wait right here.

If I am wrong and there are independent articles providing unbiased biographical information, then I would appreciate a link.

Or, you know, you could go straight to the source and ask me. Isn’t that what authors of “independent articles providing biographical information” on living people do? They go straight to the source – the subject of the biography. Nobody knows my biographical information better than I do. If you think somebody like me has reporters and biographers following me around and observing me every day, you are completely out of touch with reality.

What on earth is it that you want to know about me, anyway, that isn’t on my blog, or that you couldn’t just ask me? My shoe size? Where I went to grammar school? My favorite ice cream flavor?

8. Loma Heights Elementary. Peanut Butter and Chocolate. You’re welcome.

Thank you (or your staff) in advance for your response

You’re welcome. I don’t have a staff.

And now I’d like to know: Who exactly are you? You signed your name to your email, but no title or credentials. I don’t even know for sure whether or not you’re a pastor. I Googled your name, but it’s common enough that my search yielded information for a bunch of different people who share your name. I don’t know which, if any of them is you. So I have no information about you. Not even a Wikipedia page.

You’ve got all kinds of information about me that I’ve voluntarily and publicly provided here on the blog, on social media, and in publicly available interviews, and if there was something else about me you wanted to know, all you had to do was ask. I’ve got nothing on you except your name. You wouldn’t even provide me any information about yourself privately in your email.

Who’s “hiding,” “controlling,” and “throttling,” information about himself, now? Whose “lack of transparency” should be “raising red flags as to [his] integrity”? Where’s my link to an independent article providing unbiased biographical information about you?


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Random Ramblings Ruminations Resources

Random Ramblings, Ruminations, and Resources

Can you believe it’s been almost two whole years since I published a 4R?

Some of you are like, “What’s a 4R? Does it come with French fries or a house salad?”

No, silly rabbit. It’s just shorter than writing out “Random Ramblings, Ruminations, and Resources”. Try to keep up.

If you’re new to the blog or your memory is so terrible that you don’t have the capacity to commit every microscopic nuance of my blog to memory…

…I have a Google Docs file Iโ€™ve entitled โ€œScratch Padโ€. Whenever I get a good idea for an article, I jot down the gist of it there. Then, when itโ€™s one of those โ€œmehโ€ weeks when Iโ€™m not overwhelmingly passionate about anything in particular, or when I just want to address several small things rather than one big thing, I can thumb through those ideas for some inspiration. And sometimes, I throw in some announcements, updates, and other stuff, too.

So – if you’re tracking – 4R is basically stuff and things and whatnot and such.

And GIFs. Wonderful, wonderful GIFs.

OK, enough chit chat. Let’s get this party started…

Sold Out, But Keep An Eye Out

Finally. Finally, finally, FINALLY – hallelujah! – G3 Ministries is holding its first ever Expository Teaching Workshop for Women… and I’m sorry to tell you…it’s already sold out. Like, within just a few days of them barely announcing it at all. That’s how many godly women desperately want to be trained to properly teach God’s Word to other women and children.

Why am I telling you this if it’s sold out? Because I’m hoping G3 will continue to hold more of these in the future and I want you to be able to go! My advice? Connect with G3 (follow them on social media, get the app, sign up for their email list, etc.) so you’ll be one of the first to know when the next workshop will be held, and register immediately when it’s announced.

(If you managed to get registered for this one before it sold out, I will see you there!)

I Do It Myself

“I do it myself.”

Whether youโ€™re a mom, an aunt, a grandmother, or babysitter, youโ€™ve heard a toddler say this at some point. Maybe heโ€™s trying to put on a sock, or sheโ€™s trying to fit a puzzle piece into a puzzle. Weโ€™re standing right there, ready and able to show them how to do it or do it for them, and yet, “I do it myself.”. That child would rather struggle with that sock or puzzle piece for five, ten, fifteen minutes than let us help.

Why?

Because that child knows something about life that we donโ€™t know about Bible study. “I do it myself” brings with it rewards that having someone show you, or do it for you, just doesnโ€™t. It brings with it the joy of figuring it out for yourself, the satisfaction of accomplishment, the firsthand learning that sticks with you that spoon feeding just doesnโ€™t bring.

That child doesnโ€™t want you breathing down his neck. He will fight you off if you try to help. Because he knows that “I do it myself” is better. That child grows past the milk of spoon feeding, and someone else showing him how, or doing it for him, to the meat of growing in maturity and independence and self-feeding.

Why is it that so many Christians never grow past the milk of someone spoon feeding them Bible study to the “I do it myself” of studying straight from the text of Scripture?

“I do it myself” is a normal part of child development. If a child never moved into the “I do it myself” stage we would consider that child unhealthy. We would take him to the doctor to find out whatโ€™s wrong. Why donโ€™t we see that as unhealthy in our spiritual lives, in our Bible study lives?

We need to learn this concept when it comes to individual Bible study. Canned studies, a “mommy” breathing down your neck, showing you how to do it, or doing it for you, gets in the way of what you can learn – what God can uniquely tailor to you as an individual – when you do it yourself.

Yes, you may struggle. Yes, there will be trial and error. Yes, you probably wonโ€™t know what youโ€™re doing at first. But that is part of the learning process. You canโ€™t gain mastery of a skill if you never attempt to do it by yourself. And when it comes to mastering the skill of Bible study, the joy is not in, “Look at me, I did it all by myself!” but in, “Wow! God really did speak to me through His Word! Look how God has grown me! God showed me this great and amazing thing!”.

God gets the glory. We rejoice in His work in us through His Word. That joy is absent, and can never be achieved, when someone else is showing us how or doing it for us. Itโ€™s a joy we’ll never experience without “I do it myself.”

And speaking of Bible studies…

I know, I know, normally by this time of the year I’ve already started our new spring Bible study on the blog. That’s because, normally, sometime around October-ish, I’ve already prayerfully decided what book, passage, or topic the study is going to center on, and I’ve started my preparatory study and writing.

This year, for whatever reason God may have ordained, I have really struggled to settle down on the subject of our next study. I have been back and forth and forth and back in prayer about a number of different ideas.

Late last week, I started working on what I thought would be the right passage for the study, but it still just didn’t feel right. You know, like when you accidentally put your left shoe on your right foot? It’s still a good shoe, it’s just in the wrong place at the moment. And I started thinking… “What about a topical study on discernment? Maybe that would be a good idea.”. Several passages started coming to mind, but I didn’t have time to give it much thought…

…until a few hours later, when a reader emailed me looking for a Bible study on -you guessed it- discernment.

So I got up yesterday morning, and I started studying and sketching out an outline, and this time the shoe fit. I need a little time to study, so we won’t be starting right away, but our next Bible study will be a topical study on the subject of biblical discernment.

I debated whether or not to share that experience with y’all, because a lot of evangelicals would say that was “God ‘speaking’ to me”.

It wasn’t.

There was no Divine voice. There were no words. (That’s what the word “speaking” means. Words mean things.) God no longer talks to people directly the way He spoke to our fathers before us.

That was God answering my prayers for wisdom and guidance. That was God providentially arranging circumstances in His perfect timing. That was God helping me make up my mind.

God’s normal providence is wonderful.

Flashback (I hope)

Well, here’s a blast from the fairly recent past that ought to just bless your socks right off your little tootsies. Occasionally, I dabble (read: goof off) in various forms of creative writing. Here’s a little ditty I wrote (to be sung in your head to the tune of The Beatles’ Yesterday) a couple of years ago during that which shall not be named. Have fun. :0)

Quarantine

Quarantine

It’s a result of COVID-19

Stay at home and simply do nothing

Oh I am tired of quarantine

Quarantine

I can only see friends on a screen

But work is now a pants-less Zoom meeting

There are some perks to quarantine

Toilet paperโ€™s gone

And from church we stay away๐Ÿ˜ญ

Iโ€™ve gained 20 pounds

From Netflix and snacks all day

Quarantine

Many weeks of social distancing

Wash your hands and cover when coughing

Weโ€™ll see an end to quarantine 

We will survive this quarantine๐Ÿ˜ƒ

There’s a song in the air…

I really enjoy listening to these brothers. I get a kick out of the fact that they’re doing Southern gospel all the way over in India. (Maybe they’re in southern India! :0) But they sing other styles, too. Check out the Living Stones Quartet’s channel!

Complementarianism, Rock Your Role

The Mailbag: Questions about the role of women in the church

A reader recently left a comment containing numerous questions on my article Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit (1 Timothy 2:11-12). Her individual questions are in bold type below with my answers in regular type.

If you have questions about the role of women in the church, I recommend not only that article, but all of the articles in my Rock Your Role series. Jill, Rock Your Role FAQs, and The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism seem to answer the questions I’m asked the most, so you may want to start with those.


some honest questions here

Thanks for asking. I hope my answers will help. I’d like to preface my answers with some biblical information I hope will be helpful to all of my readers when addressing questions and issues like this:

You did not say whether or not you are a genuinely regenerated Christian, nor was I able to infer from your questions whether or not you are. This is going to be crucial to your understanding and accepting the biblical answers I’m about to give you, because Scripture makes clear to us that people who aren’t saved do not embrace the things of God. They aren’t even able to understand them in any meaningful way.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

1 Corinthians 2:14

Scripture is also clear that those who belong to Christ will obey His written Word, while those who do not belong to Christ -even if they claim to be Christians- don’t obey His written Word.

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says โ€œI know himโ€ but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

1 John 2:3-6

Sometimes when we read hard truths in the Bible, we initially struggle to accept them, but genuinely born again Christians are on a general trajectory of increasing in their love for, understanding of, and submission to God’s written Word. False converts (unsaved people who think they’re saved) and unsaved people are on the opposite trajectory and increasingly disdain, harden their hearts against, and rebel against God’s written Word.

If, in examining your own heart, you (or someone else reading this) find yourself on that second trajectory regarding this or any other biblical issue, let me offer you some resources that will help and that are much more urgent for you than the issue of the role of women in the church:

What must I do to be saved? (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) You must repent and believe the biblical gospel.

Am I Really Saved? A First John Check-Up If you’re not really sure whether or not you’re saved, you may find it helpful to work through my Bible study on 1 John.

Searching for a new church? (in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) If you’re saved, you need to be a faithful, invested member of a doctrinally sound local church. Among many other things, that’s where you’ll learn the biblical answers to questions like the ones you’ve asked below.

As I said in the Jill article:

Godly women donโ€™t look for ways to get around Scripture.
Godly women look for ways to obey Scripture.

If you already know Christ as Savior, awesome! It’s wonderful that you’re asking questions and learning more about Scripture so you can grow in Him.

Now, let’s tackle your specific questions…


โ€”if the letter to Timothy was a letter to him and we are reading his mail, then what about the other NT letters written to the various churches? Are we also not reading their mail and what God was meaning for them to do?

I would encourage you to read that paragraph again carefully. I’ve bold-typed some of the more salient points:

First Timothy (along with 2 Timothy and Titus) is one of the pastoral epistles. It was written by Paul to young pastor Timothy as sort of a job description and operations manual for pastors, elders, and the church. So right off the bat, an important point we often miss about 1 Timothy is that it was written to a man, Timothy, a pastor, who would use this letter to train his elders (also men) and, subsequently, his congregation. That doesnโ€™t mean that 1 Timothy doesnโ€™t apply to women, or shouldnโ€™t be studied by women, or that women arenโ€™t required to obey 1 Timothy. It just means that when we open the letter of 1 Timothy, we need to understand that we, as women, are reading somebody elseโ€™s mail. Mail that pertains to us, yes, but mail thatโ€™s addressed to Timothy, and by extension, to pastors and elders today. That will help us better understand the tone and perspective of the passage.

So, you could think of it like this: the pastoral epistles (1&2 Timothy and Titus) have three “levels,” if you will, of who they’re addressed to: a) immediate: Timothy and Titus, b) by extension: all other / subsequent pastors and elders, c) with application to every church, Christian group, and individual Christian.

The other epistles, generally speaking, have two “levels” of who they’re addressed to: a) immediate: a specific church or people group of Christians (the church at Colossae, the church at Ephesus, etc.) b) by extension: all other / subsequent churches, groups of Christians, and Christian individuals.

There’s a sense in which, from Genesis through Revelation, we’re “reading somebody else’s mail,” because we were not alive when any of the books of the Bible were written, so we were not the original audience of any of Scripture. That being said, the Bible is still God’s word to us, through those original audiences. All of it, when correctly handled, applies to us in one or more ways, and we are required to obey God’s commands, instructions, laws, and teachings to New Testament Christians, no matter where in the Bible they are located.


โ€”What about women who are called to preach? Like slave Sojourner Truth and 2 quaker women called to preach against slavery in the south USA civil war times. Were they wrong? sinning? going against scripture?

I don’t know who the Quaker women are that you’ve referred to, and I’m not overly familiar Sojourner Truth or any of her “sermons,” but I think you may be conflating and confusing a few things here. Let’s see if we can untangle them.

  1. As I mentioned in my preface remarks, just because someone claims to be a Christian (or history has led us to believe they were Christians) does not mean they have actually been born again. I don’t know whether or not any of these women were truly Believers, and neither do you. Sojourner said and did some things that might cause one to wonder, and, while there could be individuals who get saved while still in Quakerism, the Quaker belief system, generally speaking, is not biblical, and therefore, not Christian.
  2. Making civil speeches against slavery (or on any other topic) is not “preaching” even if the speech maker or others called it preaching. “Preaching” is defined by Scripture alone, not by culture or common parlance. Preaching is the proclamation of God’s rightly handled, written Word for the edification of the church.
  3. If any of these women were actually preaching – proclaiming God’s Word or exhorting people from God’s Word – in a co-ed gathering, then yes, they were “wrong, sinning, and going against Scripture” because God’s written Word prohibits women from doing that as I explained at length in the Jill article. And when God’s written Word says not to do something and we do it anyway, that’s called sin.
  4. God doesn’t call women to preach or pastor. God has never called a single, solitary woman to preach. Ever. First, because God doesn’t give extra-biblical revelation like that. He tells us exactly who He has called to preach (and who He hasn’t) in 1 Timothy 2:11-3:7 and Titus 1:5-9. Second, because, even if He did give extra-biblical revelation, God is not a man that He should lie or change His mind, and He already told us in His Word that women aren’t to pastor, preach to, or teach men, or exercise authority over men in the gathering of the church body.

โ€”Paul gives โ€œcommandsโ€ about operating under patriarchy and slavery, both part of Roman society. He does not talk against either yet today we Christians abhor slavery but still support patriarchy. Why?

Because patriarchy was God’s design and command and antebellum American slavery wasn’t. I’m not totally sure exactly what you mean by Roman “patriarchy” and the “commands” Paul gave about it, which passages you’re referring to, or what all you many have in mind about patriarchy and slavery as you asked this question, so I can only give you a very general answer.

  • Instructing Christians on how to behave in a godly way when they’re in the middle of ungodly circumstances is not the same thing as God condoning or approving of those ungodly circumstances. There were many Christians who obeyed Scripture’s instructions while in concentration camps during World War II. That doesn’t mean God was in favor of concentration camps.
  • Antebellum American slavery was “man stealing” (which was a different type of slavery than that practiced during New Testament times), and is prohibited by Scripture.
  • Male headship was established by God at Creation and is continually buttressed and re-established throughout the Bible:

Look at the overall general pattern of male headship and leadership in Scripture. First human created? A man. The Patriarchs? As the word implies โ€“ all men. Priests, Levites, Scribes? Men. Heads of the twelve tribes of Israel? Men. Major and minor prophets? Men. All kings of Israel and Judah? Men. Noahic, Abrahamic, Mosaic, and Davidic Covenants? All established between God and men. Authors of Scripture? Men. The forerunner of Christ? John the Baptist โ€“ a man. Messiah? A man. All of the apostles? Men. All of the pastors, elders, and deacons of churches in the New Testament? Men. Founder and head of the church? Christ โ€“ a man. Leader and head of the family? Men. – from: The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism

Anyone – including the Romans of Paul’s time – who stepped outside of God’s commands regarding patriarchy and slavery was in sin.


โ€”-in Ephesians 5:21 and following verses Paul tells 4 different groups to submit. He uses 2 different forms. For people and spouses he uses the form that means to submit as to one another. For children/slaves he uses the form that means to submit to an authority. Why werenโ€™t women included under the same one as children/slaves?

I’m sorry, but this question is impossible to answer because neither slaves nor children are mentioned in Ephesians 5:21-33 (or even in 5:1-20). If by “following verses” you meant elsewhere in Ephesians or in other places in the New Testament, you should have specified those passages so I could look at them, understand what you’re talking about, and explain them to you in context.

I also don’t know where you’re getting your information about “two different forms” (of the word “submit,” I’m assuming), so I have no way of knowing whether or not that’s accurate, and since I don’t read Greek, and I suspect you don’t either, I prefer to stick to reliable English translations rendered by experts in the biblical languages.

All I can say is, since I don’t know which passages you’re referring to, I don’t know why, allegedly, two different forms of the word submit were used. All I can tell you is – you know whether or not you’re a wife, and you know what the English word “submit” means, and if you’re married, Scripture’s instruction to you in Ephesians 5:22-33 (and elsewhere in Scripture) is to submit to your husband.

There is nowhere in Scripture where husbands are commanded to submit to their wives or that husbands and wives are to “mutually submit” to one another. Many egalitarians try to make Ephesians 5:21 say that, but that is a twisting of Scripture. Notice that verse 21 isn’t even a complete sentence. If you read verse 21 in context (i.e. – read verses 1-21) it should be obvious that Paul is addressing the church, not married couples, and that verse 21 is referring to being unselfish and putting others in the church first. (Check your cross-references on that verse. One of them is probably Philippians 2:3.) See why I keep harping on “rightly handled Scripture”?


โ€”-why do churches send women who say they are called to preach to the mission field?

Because they’re in sin. Those churches are either ignorant of Scripture’s commands about women preaching, or they’re in rebellion against those commands. Both are shameful, and both are sin.

If it is wrong here in the US for a woman to preach/pastor why is it ok in a foreign land?

It isn’t. If it’s a sin in the United States, it’s a sin in Kenya, Croatia, Uruguay, Sri Lanka, Australia, Antarctica, and everywhere else on the planet (and off the planet if God ever allows humans to live on the moon or something like that).

โ€”-why did Jesus break the rules about women? He talked with them, obeyed his mom at the party, let them learn of spiritual things, defended them, the woman at the well was the first evangelist and women were the first to see the empty tomb (all these things broke rules/laws about women and their testimonies were outlawed in that time and place) What was the point of doing this if women were going to be told they could not preach/teach and their only purpose to be wife/mom/homebodies? It does not make sense to me.

Where does the Bible say any of those things, though? Most of the things you’ve listed aren’t God’s law, they were secular law, Pharisaical law, or cultural custom, not commands of God. Jesus never broke any of God’s laws that are spelled out in the Bible. That would be sin, and we know Jesus never sinned. He wasn’t bound by man’s laws, and certainly not if they contradicted God’s Word. That’s why He and the Pharisees butted heads so often. They were trying to bind Him to their man-made laws (which often contradicted Scripture), which they sinfully equated to Scripture. By ignoring man-made laws and customs about women (while obeying God’s law about them) Jesus re-elevated the women He came into contact with to their rightful biblical place.

Let’s look:

  • “He talked with them…defended them” – There’s nothing in Scripture telling men they can’t talk to or defend women. Men talk to women all over the Bible and there are many places in Scripture where men are called upon to take up arms to defend women and children.
  • “Obeyed His mom at the party” – I assume you’re talking about the wedding at Cana. I just want to make sure we’re all understanding this correctly. From an earthly perspective, Jesus was obeying or acquiescing to His mother. However, Jesus, while fully man, was also fully God. He knew exactly what He was going to do next. Mary’s request was in line with His pre-ordained plan to turn the water into wine, and thus, in addition to the miracle, also gave Him an opportunity to set us an example of honoring His mother. Had she requested something that was not in line with His plan to turn the water into wine, He would have honored her in another way, but he would not have “obeyed” her request.
  • “Let them learn of spiritual things” – Not only does Scripture not prohibit women from learning spiritual things, women are commanded to “learn of spiritual things” from Genesis to Revelation. When Adam told Eve, “Hey, God said we can’t eat from this one tree right here,” that was a spiritual thing a woman learned. Deuteronomy 6:7 commanded the Israelites to teach God’s Word to their children, not just their sons. Ezra taught God’s law to “both men and women and all who could understand what they heard”. I also addressed this concept in the Jill article: First Timothy 2:11 (immediately before 2:12, which prohibits women from pastoring, preaching ,etc.) says “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.” God (remember, Jesus is God) commanded pastors to make sure women had the opportunity to “learn of spiritual things”.
  • “the woman at the well was the first evangelist” – Welllll, technically, no. We don’t even know for sure if she was a Believer when she went back to town and told everyone to come see Jesus. But OK, let’s go with that for a minute. Again, Scripture doesn’t prohibit women from relaying the gospel to lost people they encounter, it commands it of all Christians. (If you’re not clear on the difference between evangelism and preaching/pastoring, listen here.)
  • “women were the first to see the empty tomb…their testimonies were outlawed in that time and place” – I know a woman’s testimony in court was considered unreliable, but I’m not positive it was actually “outlawed”. But even if it was, that would have been a secular law. God’s Word doesn’t outlaw it. Yes, perhaps Jesus allowed women to be the first eyewitnesses to His resurrection in part to honor these women who had followed Him so faithfully, and to demonstrate that the testimony of women isn’t unreliable just because they’re women.

What was the point of doing this if women were going to be told they could not preach/teach and their only purpose to be wife/mom/homebodies? It does not make sense to me.

Because, as I said, Jesus elevated women to their rightful biblical place. He didn’t lower them to the wrongful, unbiblical place of modern day feminism and its rebellion against Scripture.

But really listen to what you’re saying here. I hope you didn’t mean to do this, but you just dismissively swept aside God’s high, holy, good, and biblical calling on the lives of most Christian women to be godly wives and mothers and manage their households well for the glory of God.

“Their only purpose…” Seriously? I don’t mind telling you I’m personally offended that you just insulted what I’ve dedicated my heart, soul, and life to for the past 30 years. You’re saying it doesn’t matter because I wasn’t pastoring or preaching to men. Never mind that I continually poured God’s Word into the six beautiful children He blessed us with. Never mind that I’ve gotten up every day for three decades – with no pay or vacation time, mind you, 24/7/365 – and striven to be a godly example, encouragement, and helpmeet to my husband. Never mind that I’ve taught and discipled more women and children at my church than I can count. No, all of that is worthless because I wasn’t preaching to or teaching men. That women’s teaching is only valuable if they’re teaching men. You may not have meant that, but that’s the effect of what you said. I’m not trying to be unnecessarily harsh with you, I’m trying to give you just enough of a healthy, biblical sting that you’ll realize that you’ve been influenced more by what the world values for women than what God values for women.

Godly women honor and respect the high calling and unique gifting women have to disciple other women and to raise up the next generation of godly men and women by discipling our own, and other, children. Because this is such a weighty and arduous responsibility, we consider it a blessing that God has not also burdened us with the responsibility to preach, teach the Scriptures to men, or exercise authority over men in the context of the gathering of the church. Rather, we encourage the men who have been given this responsibility, leaving godly women free and unfettered to carry out the ministry God has given us. – from: The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism


I have so many more questions and seeking lots of help to find the answers. The scripture says to study to show yourself approved. I hope this applies to women too!

It absolutely does! I’m glad you’re asking questions and seeking to learn! And you’re right, as I’ve referred to throughout this article, 2 Timothy 2:15 says:

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

As I said at the beginning, the best place to get your questions answered and to learn how to rightly handle Scripture is in a doctrinally sound local church. Ask a godly older woman in your church to disciple you. (Not sure what that’s all about? Listen here and here.) “Pester” your pastor (he’ll love it!). And study, study, study, directly from the text of Scripture (listen here, and check out the Bible studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page).

Thanks for any insight you can give me.

You are most welcome. It is my pleasure to serve you in Christ.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.