Church

A Polling Place

There are so many heavy issues to deal with out there. I wanted to do something a little lighter today, so I thought we’d do some polls and let you share your thoughts. If you choose “other” on any of the questions and want to elaborate on your choice, you may do so in the comments section (it will be helpful if you tell us the number of the question you’re addressing).

Some questions are more serious, some are just for fun. Answer any or all. Let’s hear what you think!

Any more thoughts? Feel free to share them in the comments!

Guest Posts

Guest Post: The Importance of Knowing the Rules

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my โ€œWelcomeโ€ and โ€œStatement of Faithโ€ tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and youโ€™d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat about it.

The Importance of Knowing the Rules
by Robin Self

Most people who read my blogs probably know me best as being “the preacher’s wife”. But what they may not know is that for a lot of years I was another kind of wife.

I was an official’s wife.

Not “official” as in an important “government official” who rides in limousines and has “people”. But the kind who spends hundreds of hours a year in a minivan, eating gas station food, traveling to various sports complexes and gymnasiums, for very little money, in order to be yelled and cursed at by outraged fans.

Yes, for over 2 decades, my husband Jeff was a high school and college basketball official and umpire. I don’t have many photos to share from back in those days, since that was an era when you actually had to have film in a camera. But I have a few digital ones from his last seasons of umpiring, after his knees no longer allowed him to run on the hardwood for 3 hours a night. (Did I mention I LOVE a man in uniform??)

I gleaned a LOT throughout those memorable years. I can say without boasting, that I probably knew the rules better than anyone in the stands, and probably most coaches. It was I who would drill Jeff for hours so that he could pass the yearly 100 question official’s exams. I knew the intricacies of basketball. I understood that the INTENT of the rule was what mattered when making a call. Looking back, I can see that those years as the official’s wife taught me a few things that are relatable now to my life as the preacher’s wife.

Knowing the Rules Helps You Make the Correct Call


I see this all too often today in Christianity. People within the church will be confused about something that is said or taught because they don’t know “the rules”. Similar to how a basketball rules manual is the final authority in a basketball game, the Scriptures are our “rule book”. They are the ultimate and final authority over everything in our lives.

I can’t tell you how many times my husband had to bring out the rule book to show an irate coach where he was misunderstanding a call that was made. He could turn right to the page where that particular rule applied. How? Because he KNEW the book by heart.

As Christians, we must be able to do the same with Scripture. We need to know the Scriptures so well that when we hear teaching that is in error we recognize it, or so that when someone is wrongly arguing a biblical point, we can show them, in love, where they are misunderstanding or misusing it. When someone invariably tells us “not to judge” sinful behavior, we need to know the INTENT of the Scripture so that a solitary phrase being quoted out of context can’t be used against us.

Are we studying the Scriptures so diligently that they are imprinted on our hearts? Just reading the Bible every so often and knowing a few verses isn’t enough. We must study it in context, so we have the actual truth and INTENT in our hearts. Not just a bunch of verses we can pull out at random so we can argue our narrative.

One example that comes to mind is when those in the social justice movement use Revelation 7:9 to tell churches that their congregations need to be more ethnically diverse, because that’s what heaven is going to look like. This is a clear manipulation of the text used to try to convince believers that their churches are guilty of racism if multiple skin tones aren’t represented. And sadly, masses of people in the church are falling for this nonsense hook, line, and sinker!

We MUST be able to recognize a lie like this when it is presented to us. Deception has a way of coming across as convincing to those who haven’t put in the time to recognize it. But anyone who consistently studies and puts the truth of the Word in their heart won’t fall for this mumbo jumbo. Knowing the rules is imperative!

Knowing the Rules Helps You Be Objective


I can’t count the times I would be sitting in the stands watching Jeff referee a game, blissfully anonymous to those around me, listening to fans yell about a “bad call” that had been absolutely correctly made. It always amused me that two teams’ fans would see the same incident two completely different ways. One side would see an offensive charge, while the other side would see a defensive foul. They couldn’t both be right. But the reason the same situation was seen two different ways was because neither side was seeing what happened objectively.

If there is anything I remember distinctly when attending those many ball games, it’s that, because I knew the rules, I could see clearly if Jeff had made a call correctly, or if he had blown it. (Of course that was an extremely rare occurrence!) I could be objective about what happened on the court because I had no skin in the game. The outcome didn’t matter to me. My judgement wasn’t clouded because of my bias.

In the same way, we can’t allow our biases to cloud our judgment when we need to be corrected, or when our favorite Bible teacher is being pointed out as teaching error. As difficult as it may be for us, we should welcome loving biblical correction when we are acting or believing wrongly. Our end goal should be to walk in truth. If we are doing things right, we are in a continual learning process throughout our Christian lives. We will never know it all, and when we come to the knowledge that something we’ve always believed isn’t correct, we should be willing to give up that belief or tradition in favor of what is biblically sound. Sometimes it isn’t easy to say, “I was wrong”. But it’s necessary for growth.

We also can’t be so enamored with our favorite Bible teachers or conference speakers that we are unwilling to listen to any criticism of them. I used to be the biggest Beth Moore fan ever. At one time I wouldn’t listen to any criticism of her because I didn’t WANT to hear it. At that time my love for Beth was more important to me than hearing the truth.

But then I began to look at the issue OBJECTIVELY. I decided to, with an open mind, research and study the information that was out there and let the chips fall where they may. If the things that were being said were true I didn’t want to keep foolishly defending her. I am thankful that God opened my eyes to be able to see the gross error of what she was teaching. He allowed me to see how my bias had overshadowed the truth. I also discovered how important it is to make sure I know what the Bible actually says rather than just trusting what I believe to a “Bible teacher” who has a convincing way with words.

As a preacher’s wife, I even do this when my husband is preaching. If I have a question about something he says, I go search it out myself and we will talk about it. While I believe he is faithful to the text, it doesn’t mean that he can’t get something wrong. What’s wonderful is, he WANTS me point it out if I have questions. He has also been able to clarify things for me that I had wrong. Once pride is out of the way, and we become objective learners, we will want the truth no matter what.

When we have the “skin in the game” of loving and supporting certain Bible teachers, especially publicly, we can be blinded to what may be right in front of us: the fact that they may be teaching falsely. It can become more important to us to preserve the idol we’ve created than to care about the truth. But when we are willing to be objective and are passionate about our “rule book” we can’t help but want others to be just as passionate. And knowing our Maker’s book can affect someone’s eternal outcome of either accepting a false gospel or believing the only true saving gospel of Christ. And that’s a game outcome we care about!


Robin is an SBC pastor’s wife who enjoys doing ministry life alongside her husband Jeff. They have served in churches from urban Long Island, New York, to the woods of Southeast Georgia. They are now back home in their native Oklahoma where they have been for the past 13 years. They are new empty-nesters, with 3 grown children, Jordan, Jarrett, and Jonah. Follow Robin’s blog, A Worthy Walk, and connect with her on Twitter.

Speaking Engagements

OHCW Conference LIVE AUDIENCE Sneak Preview!

(For info. on the Baton Rouge event,
please keep scrolling down until you get to it.)

Ladies, did you enjoy last year’s first annual Open Hearts in a Closed World online conference? (If you missed it, you can still catch all of the sessions here.)

Well, the conference is back again this summer, July 12-16, and all of us at OHCW hope you’ll join us! The conference sessions will air each day on the AGTV app, YouTube, IGTV (Instagram), Facebook, and this year, here on the blog.

The conference is totally free and you don’t have to register or sign up. Just tune in each day at your convenience and watch the teaching sessions. You could even gather up some friends and watch together!

The theme of this year’s conference is Reverence in Radical Times, and our focal passage will be Titus 2:3-5:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5

2021 Speakers:

2021 Teaching Schedule:

Music by:

For more details on the conference, follow Open Hearts in a Closed World on Instagram, or join the OHCW Facebook group and ask the conference organizers directly.

All teaching sessions for the conference will be pre-recorded, so if you live in the Baton Rouge, Louisiana, area (or if you can get here!) we’ve got a special “sneak preview” treat for you!

You are cordially invited to be part of the
LIVE AUDIENCE
for the taping of my teaching session:

Teach What Is Good:
Discipling Younger Women
in the 21st Century

Tuesday, April 27, 2021
7:00-8:00 p.m.
Woodlawn Baptist Church
5805 Jones Creek Rd.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
FREE admission ~ Women only
No childcare will be provided
Please comment below or contact me
if you’re coming so we can get a head count.

As a special treat just for our Baton Rouge audience, local hymnist,
Jillian McNeely will be providing our pre-session worship music.

The teaching session is relevant to both the “older women” and the “younger women” of Titus 2, so gather up a group of friends and make it a girls’ night out! You might even want to plan to go out to eat afterwards at New York Pizza and Pasta, Outback, City Cafe, or another nearby restaurant. And if your husband wants to drop you off and take the kids for a bite, McDonald’s, Burger King, Cane’s, and Taco Bell are all just down the street.

Masks are not required, though you’re welcome to bring one from home and wear it if you like. We anticipate that there will be plenty of space for those who would like to social distance (also not required).

If you have any specific questions about Woodlawn’s facilities or location, you may contact the church directly.

Come on out and let’s look at what it means to be Titus 2 women!

Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Karen’s Story

Karen’s Story

I have sat under lukewarm teaching as well as seriously warped false teaching from both men and women over the years. Both my husband and I were just going through the motions of church, feeling like we needed to go because thatโ€™s what you do, getting involved, putting on a good front but honestly always feeling like something was missing.

My husband and I were just going through the motions of church…

I believe we were both saved, we knew we were sinners, knew only Christ could save us, sincerely repented, but then did the whole โ€œask Jesus into your heartโ€ thing over and over again because of the need to “make sure”. But we were dying on the vine, as a friend of mine described it.

The final straw was a womenโ€™s group where the leader taught a study that she had written herself. The church thought so much of it they even helped her get it published. The book was full of Bible verses, all out of context and used for the purpose of getting her points across. I seriously began to dread going to that group, but dragged myself there weekly, thinking, “This is what I am supposed to be doing,” and at the same time wondering what was wrong with me because I hated it. I was so ignorant of Godโ€™s Word that I even sat there in silence when, as a group, we would pray and women in the room, one being the leader/writer of the study, were praying โ€œin tonguesโ€, no interpretation of course.

I was so ignorant of Godโ€™s Word…

During one of those gatherings, the woman who wrote the study told us about how she had been given the opportunity to preach on an upcoming Sunday at the church, saying, โ€œWho says women canโ€™t preach?โ€. BOOM, my heart was instantly in my throat, I felt flushed and agitated, but as I looked around the room I saw nodding heads agreeing with her. Somehow, even though I only read it in bits and pieces, I was quite sure the Bible did NOT agree with her bold statement. I wish I could have jumped up and challenged her and all the ladies in that room but because I did not know the Bible well, I simply shrank in my seat. However, I did know I had to leave so I mustered the courage and politely dismissed myself, never to return. I could not get out of that parking lot fast enough!

Do you know what I began doing then? Simply reading my Bible, in context. God was so gracious to me, giving me a hunger for TRUTH. I was able to find Michelle’s website, John MacArthurโ€™s sermons and Chris Rosebroughโ€™s teaching videos.

I then reached out to two friends who had attended that same study. One totally heard all that I was telling her about the importance of reading Scripture in context, the other, who was a member at that church, dug her heels in when I took her to passages about women preaching. She didnโ€™t want to hear it because the teacher/author of the study “is gifted, anointed and loves preaching”. It has become apparent that she wants nothing more to do with me. God has allowed me though to share with other women who were in the same position I was a few years ago.

God has allowed me to share with other women…

One of those women happens to be my next door neighbor! That family has been there for years. Our children grew up together. They church hopped just like we did, moving aimlessly about for years. And then one day, after my family had been through all our disobedient wanderings, she and I began to talk – long discussions about God, the Bible, our sinfulness, the endless womenโ€™s studies of taking verses out of context, twisting them to mean something God didnโ€™t intend, ignoring the Gospel, but always glorifying ME instead of the ONE who made me. Soon, we began praying together. Isnโ€™t God amazing?!

Isnโ€™t God amazing?!

It is a MUCH longer story but the end result is our families are now in a Reformed church that adheres to the 1689 London Baptist Confession, where we get the Word exposited on a weekly basis and each service includes the Gospel!! We are joyfully involved and now a part of a true church family. I am brought to tears continually at Godโ€™s grace, mercy, patience, and goodness for this undeserving wretch that I am.


Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His Word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Contact me, or comment below. Your testimony can be as brief as a few sentences or as long as 1500 words. Letโ€™s encourage one another with Godโ€™s work in our lives!

Guest Posts

Guest Post: Dependence- It’s What’s for Dinner

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my โ€œWelcomeโ€ and โ€œStatement of Faithโ€ tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and youโ€™d like to contribute a guest post, drop me anย e-mail, and letโ€™s chat about it.

Dependence- It’s What’s for Dinner
by Jennifer Buck

Itโ€™s not hard to find in Scripture the responsibilities of a wife and mother. We know what it is that we are and are not to be doing. The struggle comes when that which we are to be doingโ€ฆ for example, being the keeper of the home, doesnโ€™t come naturally and we donโ€™t easily find fulfillment in it. Often, those things that we are not to be doingโ€ฆ giving all our energy and attention to things outside of the home at the expense of caring for our home, does come more naturally and seems more fulfilling. Whatโ€™s a woman to do?

We understand that the Lord created us with our specific talents, abilities, and natural inclinations. We also understand that the Lord created us for a specific task: being our husbandโ€™s help-meet and caring for the home are our first priorities. I am not saying a woman cannot work outside of the home, but even in that, she still has a God given sphere of responsibility first and foremost to, and in, the home.

So, why do we not all, as believing women, have natural talent and interest in cooking, child-rearing and helping our husbands? Sin obviously clouds our senses and that must be dealt with, but even beyond that, many women who desire to want those thingsโ€ฆ just donโ€™t.

God did not create me with a flair for cooking, nor with a desire for all things kitchen related. Even as a kid, I would do the task my mother told me and after finishing the job I would immediately back out of the kitchen with an โ€œOK, job’s done, you donโ€™t need me anymore, right? OK, Iโ€™m gone nowโ€ฆโ€ attitude. I hated the kitchen. When I looked forward to marriage, I knew that I would have to prepare meals, but I was content to wait until I had to. And I did. Early on I learned to cook and did what was necessary. My family was not showered with Martha Stewart meals and exotic desserts. We ate, and we ate well, but it didnโ€™t go far beyond that.

Soon, however, that ol’ โ€œI-hate-the-kitchen-and-kinda-resent-that-I-have-to-do-thisโ€ attitude crept in. I was a bit jealous of my friends who loved cooking, and kept the house well, and kept their kids doing all kinds of fun stuff, while I’m over here just wanting time to enjoy opportunities to do what I felt was more natural to my talents and desires.

Then one day, it finally hit this thick skull of mine. God has called me to a task. God did not give me the natural talent or desire to do that task to which he has called me. Do you know why? Because He determined for me that this task was to be my area of dependence upon Him. It certainly is only one of many, but this was not an area I would pick for lesson time. But, He picked it for me. It has become my opportunity to depend on God to find joy performing the tasks I dislike. This means as soon as the thought of โ€œWhatโ€™s for dinner?โ€ hits my brain, right on its heels must be the prayer, “Lord, equip me for what You’ve called me to do, and give me joy in serving my family.” Every. Time. โ€œWhatโ€™s for dinner?โ€ has become a trigger to prayer for me.

For those of you who approach the kitchen the same way I do, God did not deal us a bad hand. He has not withheld from us a necessary element for finding joy in our role. He did, however, fashion us in such a way that that joy will only be realized by depending on Him. This is actually a very good thing. Not only do we have the opportunity to find a deep appreciation in serving our families, we also learn how to depend on God. Thatโ€™s the best 2-for-1 sale I can imagine!

So, my dear look-a-likes, donโ€™t begrudge the Lordโ€™s lesson of dependence. For those of you who delight being in the kitchen, you have your own areas of struggle. You have an area to which you are called and it competes with that to which you are drawn. That is your area of dependence. Learn it, and learn it well. You will not regret it, and your family will reap its rewards.


Jennifer and her husband, Tom have been married for 33 years and have 3 children. For the last 15 years they have been serving in Lindale TX, where Tom is Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church. Jennifer loves to teach and encourage women in the truths of Scripture.