Guest Posts

Guest Post: Dependence- It’s What’s for Dinner

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Dependence- It’s What’s for Dinner
by Jennifer Buck

It’s not hard to find in Scripture the responsibilities of a wife and mother. We know what it is that we are and are not to be doing. The struggle comes when that which we are to be doing… for example, being the keeper of the home, doesn’t come naturally and we don’t easily find fulfillment in it. Often, those things that we are not to be doing… giving all our energy and attention to things outside of the home at the expense of caring for our home, does come more naturally and seems more fulfilling. What’s a woman to do?

We understand that the Lord created us with our specific talents, abilities, and natural inclinations. We also understand that the Lord created us for a specific task: being our husband’s help-meet and caring for the home are our first priorities. I am not saying a woman cannot work outside of the home, but even in that, she still has a God given sphere of responsibility first and foremost to, and in, the home.

So, why do we not all, as believing women, have natural talent and interest in cooking, child-rearing and helping our husbands? Sin obviously clouds our senses and that must be dealt with, but even beyond that, many women who desire to want those things… just don’t.

God did not create me with a flair for cooking, nor with a desire for all things kitchen related. Even as a kid, I would do the task my mother told me and after finishing the job I would immediately back out of the kitchen with an “OK, job’s done, you don’t need me anymore, right? OK, I’m gone now…” attitude. I hated the kitchen. When I looked forward to marriage, I knew that I would have to prepare meals, but I was content to wait until I had to. And I did. Early on I learned to cook and did what was necessary. My family was not showered with Martha Stewart meals and exotic desserts. We ate, and we ate well, but it didn’t go far beyond that.

Soon, however, that ol’ “I-hate-the-kitchen-and-kinda-resent-that-I-have-to-do-this” attitude crept in. I was a bit jealous of my friends who loved cooking, and kept the house well, and kept their kids doing all kinds of fun stuff, while I’m over here just wanting time to enjoy opportunities to do what I felt was more natural to my talents and desires.

Then one day, it finally hit this thick skull of mine. God has called me to a task. God did not give me the natural talent or desire to do that task to which he has called me. Do you know why? Because He determined for me that this task was to be my area of dependence upon Him. It certainly is only one of many, but this was not an area I would pick for lesson time. But, He picked it for me. It has become my opportunity to depend on God to find joy performing the tasks I dislike. This means as soon as the thought of “What’s for dinner?” hits my brain, right on its heels must be the prayer, “Lord, equip me for what You’ve called me to do, and give me joy in serving my family.” Every. Time. “What’s for dinner?” has become a trigger to prayer for me.

For those of you who approach the kitchen the same way I do, God did not deal us a bad hand. He has not withheld from us a necessary element for finding joy in our role. He did, however, fashion us in such a way that that joy will only be realized by depending on Him. This is actually a very good thing. Not only do we have the opportunity to find a deep appreciation in serving our families, we also learn how to depend on God. That’s the best 2-for-1 sale I can imagine!

So, my dear look-a-likes, don’t begrudge the Lord’s lesson of dependence. For those of you who delight being in the kitchen, you have your own areas of struggle. You have an area to which you are called and it competes with that to which you are drawn. That is your area of dependence. Learn it, and learn it well. You will not regret it, and your family will reap its rewards.

Jennifer and her husband, Tom have been married for 33 years and have 3 children. For the last 15 years they have been serving in Lindale TX, where Tom is Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church. Jennifer loves to teach and encourage women in the truths of Scripture.

6 thoughts on “Guest Post: Dependence- It’s What’s for Dinner”

  1. Excellent article! We do need to have dependence on God and this is one area where I too have found that truth. Any repeated, day after day task can become drudgery, yet our Father has called us to do them. Depending on Him for enabling as well as joy in serving is living out our calling. Thank you for addressing something that not all wives and mothers are willing to admit, let alone knowing where to go for help! God really does give inspiration even in the mundane tasks if we would only ask Him.


  2. I know the author personally. She may begrudge cooking for her family, but she cares for them in ways I would find very difficult and could not do apart from dependence on God and His grace. God has equipped her to be an extraordinary pastor’s wife and mother to some very unique children. Thank you, Jennifer, for your example of faithfulness and dependence on God.


  3. What an excellent post that really hit home for me. I’m not the best cook, and I’m an even worse housekeeper. I’ve been married for over twenty years but we don’t have children, and I never truly took my role seriously in regards to maintaining my home. To be honest, not being very well-versed in Scripture, I didn’t truly know that was a role God calls me to as a wife. it has been a source of guilt and shame for me for years because something always felt “off” about my lack of desire/interest/competence/drive to maintain a nice household. I used two major excuses — We both work outside the home and work long hours at that, and I could never keep a clean house with everything in its place like my mother could, so why bother trying? I think my gravestone would say something like, “Never had enough storage space.” This has REALLY given me a lot to think about, and I felt a Eureka moment about Dependence on God, even in the mundane things (especially in those things). I have much to learn, and am so very thankful to have sisters in Christ to turn to like this for guidance and instruction. Now, I’m going to spend time in prayer and go clean my kitchen.


  4. i have a question.

    Can you address the ARC churches? I just heard of it and want to know who’s in it and how to get word out. Thanks so much!!!!


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